


Different Choices, Different Lives

by Sage8771



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Affairs, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Betrayal, Choices, Drama, Enemies to Friends, F/M, Family, Internal Conflict, Leadership, Long-Term Relationship(s), Love, Sex, Starting Over, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-23
Updated: 2018-04-18
Packaged: 2018-10-09 12:38:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 119
Words: 368,690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10412319
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sage8771/pseuds/Sage8771
Summary: After a traumatic life during the apocalypse, Gina makes a choice that goes against her most fundamental beliefs. Can she live with her choices? And can she live with the man who offered it to her? Her world is turned upside down when she gets shocking news from a new community named Alexandria, changing the trajectory of her life.





	1. Chapter 1

  
**Gina**

   Twirling the glass in her hand, Gina strolled aimlessly through the room, sidestepping the other women who were lounging around, the ice clinking against the side of her drink. Her feet were aching from standing so long in her heels, yet she made her way over to the window.

   Staring down into the main yard, she watched the bustle of people below. Most were on guard duty, watching the horizon for signs of life, or the nonliving.  
   

   Every day felt like Groundhog Day since she had arrived, and she wondered what the approaching evening held. Once he came into the compound, she could get a feel for how the day had gone. As she leaned her forehead against the glass, she could hear the rumble of the oncoming caravan.   

  Downing the whiskey that was rapidly becoming watery, she watched as the trucks pulled through the gates. Gina waited until he stepped out, and studied his demeanor as he ordered his men around. With a sigh, she set the glass on the bar, and wandered over to the couch, to take her place next to Sherry.

   Sherry leaned in and spoke in a low voice, so that none of the other women could hear. "Well?" she asked. With a sidelong glance she muttered only one word. "Lexie."

   No more than five minutes passed before the door opened. He stood there appraisingly as the women seemed to snap to attention. Some looked apprehensive, while others looked hopeful. Only she and Sherry carried neutral looks on their faces. After flashing a wicked grin, he walked through the room, kissing each of them on the cheek, until he got to Lexie.

   Extending his hand, he helped her up, wrapping his arm around her waist as he led her towards the door. Lexie's hips swayed back and forth as his hand made it's way towards her backside, and she quickened her pace towards the inevitable.

   After the door closed, many of the women slumped back into the couches, and there was both relief and disappointment throughout the room. Gina felt nothing, and Sherry took her by the hand as they headed back over towards the bar. As they were freshening their drinks, the other women began to make their way towards their room, the waiting game over.

   Perching on the stools, the two women clinked their glasses together, before taking a long drink. Legs crossed, Sherry turned towards her, a smirk on her face.

   "How do you always know which one of us he's going to take?" she asked, her eyes curious. Gina shrugged as she tapped a cigarette out of the gold case that the two shared.

   "I can just tell by his demeanor. When his day goes well, and he's fired up, he always goes for Lexie. When he's frustrated, he gravitates towards Amber. When he's feeling straight up horny, its always Leticia. And you know why he takes you when he does."

   Sherry's face dropped as she considered her words. "You know I don't mean to hurt your feelings," Gina said in a soft voice. "He wants to punish Dwight for something. Usually some imagined slight or insubordination."

   Knodding her head, Sherry took a drag off of her cigarette. "I know," she sighed. "I guess it was a good day for Dwight."

   The ticking of the clock marked the passage of time while they drank. "And why does he pick you?" Sherry asked as Gina shifted uncomfortably on her seat. She ran her tongue along her teeth, swirling her drink around again.

   "He picks me when he's had a setback, or is feeling vunerable. I don't know why."

   Sherry's eyebrows raised, but she said nothing. When they finished their drinks, they stood, walking out of the room into the hallway. The two could hear faint sounds of Lexie moaning as they walked down the hall, their heels clicking on the floor. Their rooms were across the hall from each other, and they hugged before saying their goodnights.

   After closing her door, Gina flipped on the light before shrugging out of her dress. Kicking off her heels, she rummaged around in her drawer for her shorts and tank top, her standard sleeping outfit when she wasn't in rotation.

   Padding into her private bathroom, she washed the garish makeup off of her face after pulling her hair up into a haphazard bun. When she was done, she walked back into the bedroom, pulling the covers down and sliding into bed.

   She hated everything about her room, and she stared at it with detest. The decor was the complete opposite of anything that she would have picked in her old life. She was given no choice, as he always decided who stayed in which room. It was entirely too girly and prissy for her taste. Everything was pink, cream, and sparkly. It was fit for a princess who was locked away in an ivory tower, which she supposed she was.

   She had made the choice to become one of his wives, and she had to live with it. Had she known then what she knew now, she would have chosen differently. But when she saw for the first time what happened when Negan was disappointed in his wives, she knew that she was trapped.

   Closing her eyes, she wondered what kind of mood he would be in tomorrow.


	2. Chapter 2

 

   Gina walked into the cafeteria, saying nothing as a small group of people let her pass. She knew that as a wife, she could have gourmet meals brought upstairs to their floor, but she preferred to spend her days on the grounds, especially when Negan was out. Even though she couldn't escape the stares, it was better than sitting in the stuffy main room the wives occupied day after day.

   She still used her position sometimes to head to the front of the line, though she didn't take more food than any of the others. It was just easier than waiting, and she was always polite to the kitchen staff. Sherry would accompany her sometimes, but she was alone this morning. Lexie never left Negan's floor, afraid to run into her old boyfriend, whom she had ditched as soon as she was offered a position as a wife. Letecia disappeared occasionally, but Gina could never figure out where she went, since she never saw her on the main floor.

   Gina knew Amber had struggled with her choice, and a moment of doubt had led her husband Mark to be punished, much like Dwight had been, with a hot iron to the face. Both punishments had left the smell of burning flesh permanently embedded in her nostrils. Though Gina had comforted Amber after, in the darkest recesses of her mind, she thought it cowardly to let Mark take the punishment instead of just going back into the general population with her family.

   Sherry, on the other hand, Gina felt sympathy for. She knew that if Sherry hadn't agreed to become a wife, it would have meant death for her and Dwight both. When they had come back to the Sanctuary, they were dirty and disheveled, having lost Sherry's sister along the way. Despite prodding from Gina, Sherry wouldn't say what happened during the short time that they were gone.

   In her mind, Gina imagined that they had run into an even worse group. It scared her to think that there might be something more terrible than the Sanctuary in terms of brutality. One of the reasons she never truly thought of leaving was that there was always something worse. Hell, she had been through worse before the Saviors found her. At least Negan wouldn't allow the women to be taken advantage of, though she had her suspicions that some were still pressured.

   Grabbing some oatmeal and a bottle of water, she sat down at the only empty table in the cafeteria. The main doors were open, and a light breeze was blowing through, cleansing the factory of some of the more offending odors. Not everyone was lucky enough to have points to spend on deodorant, and during the warmer months, it was hard to breathe when the large area was filled with hungry mouths, all crowded together.

   Standing up, she shoved the last spoonful in her mouth before carrying her tray back up front. Since Negan was supposed to be gone all day, she was dressed casually in jeans, a t-shirt and boots. He didn't like his wives to work, but she always went into the gardens when he was gone. No one had ratted her out yet that she knew of, and he had never mentioned it to her, so she continued to help out when the weather was nice.

   When she reached the outside, the groans of the walkers that lined the fences of the Sanctuary grew. She was used to them by now, though they took some getting used to. Gina was no longer the skittish, scared thing that had been brought here half unconscious. The first time she had seen them, after she was released from the infirmary, it had stopped her in her tracks. Seeing the mindless, slow moving ghouls wandering around on tethers, or struggling on the poles they were impaled on made them look pitiful to her.

   Though she had no qualms about killing the dead, there was just something so sad to her about them situated there day and night, never moving, yet never stopping. One always forgets that they were once living, breathing people. They reminded her of a little monkey that she had seen when her father had taken her on a business trip to India. She was six, or perhaps seven, and she had been so excited at first to see the little creature, dressed in a colorful outfit, bouncing up and down. It was only after watching it for a while that she noticed the harness around it, held by a man with a thin stick.

   When she really looked at the poor thing, it's eyes were dull, and almost pleading as it looked from person to person. Gina remembered asking her father if they could set it free, and he had grabbed her by the hand, whisking her away from the spectacle. When he told her no, that it was how the man made his money, she had cried, begging him to go back and buy the monkey so that she could take care of it. When he told her that if he bought it, the man would just get another one to take it's place, she began to cry harder.

   Gina was so lost in thought that she nearly walked straight into the fence surrounding the garden. Gretchen, the woman who supervised the garden crew was sitting on the ground, leaning against the fence with some water, splashing it on her face.

   "Good morning, sweetheart," she said to Gina, smiling at her fondly. "Good morning, boss," Gina answered, giving her a smile and a wink. "How's everything looking?" she asked as she grabbed a pair of gloves and a spade from the pile by the garden gate.

   "The plants are growing fast," Gretchen said, her chubby cheeks pink with exertion. "We've got a lot of weeds popping up, though."

   "Just point me in the right direction, and I'll start tearing those fuckers out."

   Gretchen winced at her use of profanity, and Gina scolded herself silently. Her father had always told her that she sounded like a truck driver, but she tried to temper it around Gretchen, since she was so matronly. The f-word was a noun, verb and adjective to her, and she swore so much that it was like breathing to her. 

   "Sorry, G," she apologized as Gretchen pulled herself to her feet. "Such a pretty girl," Gretchen clucked at her. "Too pretty for such ugly words."

   "So, if I were homely, it would be okay?" Gina needled her with a grin. Gretchen shook her head, pointed her towards the tomato plants. Once she reached the furthest row, she settled down on her knees, pulling the weeds on autopilot. Out here, she was able to turn her brain off, working mechanically. The garden was safe, no need to worry about dead things and dangerous people. The only bad things in here were the weeds and insects.

   When several rows were pristine, she decided to call it a day, having worked straight through lunch. Negan would probably be back soon, and she would need to be dressed and ready to go.

   Tossing her supplies into the storage bins, she waved goodbye to Gretchen before heading back into the compound. Out of breath when she reached the top floor, Gina moved slowly towards her room, where she pulled off her boots before heading to the bathroom to shower. When she saw the redness all over her face and neck, she swore under her breath.

   Negan would notice for sure, and question her about it. Showering quickly, she wrapped her head in a towel as she set about putting her makeup on, trying to cover up the sunburn as much as she could, putting a choker around her neck to camoflauge some of the damage.

   With a last flick of her black hair, she hurried from her room into the sitting area. Sherry's lips pursed together as she took in Gina's appearance. "He's gonna notice," she mumbled as Gina sidled up next to her at the bar.

   "I'll just tell him I fell asleep lounging around outside," Gina said as she poured herself a drink, taking a large gulp as she put the top back on the ice bucket.

   The other ladies were quiet as they waited, until the heard the telltale trucks entering through the gates. Gina watched intently as the men piled out, scanning for Negan. He stalked quickly through the grounds towards the main door as she and Sherry took their usual spots on the couch.

   Without prompting, Gina spoke without looking at Sherry. "Probably Amber or me."

   It was as quiet as a tomb when the door opened several minutes later. Negan stepped through, and all of the wives sat up straight, waiting for him to speak. He walked slowly around the room, lingering near Amber before finally coming to stand in front of Gina. There were no smiles and kissed this evening as he held his hand out to her.

   Taking his hand, she stood up, and Negan scanned her face before gazing down at her neck. Tugging her slightly, he pulled her towards the door, and she fought to keep herself from looking back at Sherry.

   When they reached her door, he said the first words he had uttered to her in days. "I'm going to go shower. Wear the white."

   With that, he dropped her hand and headed towards his room. Opening her own door, she unzipped the back of her dress, stepping out of it and hanging it in her closet. Gina pulled out the long, white silk nightgown that Negan had requested, raising it over her head and slipping her arms through, sliding it down her body.

   After placing her heels in the closet as well, she sat at the foot of the bed to wait for him, wondering idly what had gone wrong on this day. Sometimes he confided in her, and sometimes he didn't speak at all. She never knew which version she would get.

   When the door opened, Negan was freshly showered, his dark hair slicked back and still wet. He was shirtless, the drawstring pants hanging low on his hips. He was gorgeous, and he knew it, much to Gina's annoyance. The only thing that annoyed her more was the desire for him that was burning through her at the moment.

   He took his time as he closed the door softly behind him, moving languidly towards her. When he reached around her neck to remove the choker, her skin tingled where he touched her, and she looked up at him, her chest moving up and down.

   Tossing it onto the dresser, he took her by both hands, pulling Gina to her feet. There were still beads of water clinging to his chest as she placed one hand above his heart, plucking lightly at the chest hair, her nails grazing his skin.

  She knew what was coming next, because it was the same every time. Every time.

   Negan led her around the bed, pulling her covers down as he steered her onto the bed, his lips finally meeting hers as he lay her back against the pillow. Curling her fingers into his hair, Gina closed her eyes as he moved from her lips to her neck, his tongue darting out as he made his way towards her breasts.

   Straightening up, he took the straps of her nightgown between his fingers, sliding them down her shoulders as she pulled her arms free of them. Gently lowering the gown, he resumed his kisses, taking each breast into his mouth as she moaned softly, his tongue flicking her nipples until they hardened. As he did this, Negan reached down as she lifted up her bottom, sliding her panties off and tossing them onto the floor next to them, before removing his pants.

   Already hard and ready, he pushed the gown up enough to position himself between her thighs, easing into her slowly as if he thought she might break. Gina wrapped her arms around his neck, kissing him as he began to move back and forth, the same steady pace that he always did, hitting her most sensitive spots as he always did.

   Negan continued until he felt her start to tense up, getting close to release. Only then would he quicken the pace until he felt her cry out. As she spasmed around him, he continued to speed up, finally reaching his own orgasm, his head buried between her breasts as she cupped his head.

   Laying there longer than he usually did, she gently ran her nails along his back as he continued to stay inside her. With her eyes on the ceiling, she spoke, asking the question she never dared utter before. 

   "Do you want to talk about what happened?"

   Negan's head snapped up, and she stopped scratching his back as he pulled himself out from inside her. "Why would you ask me that?" His voice and his eyes were cold as he stared at her.

   Her tone was measured as she answered quietly. "You just seemed melancholy when you came into the room. I thought maybe something happened today."

   Rolling off of her, he sat up, grabbing his pajamas off of the floor. Glancing at her out of the corner of his eye, he muttered a halfhearted goodnight before stalking towards the door, shutting it loudly behind him.

   After pulling the nightgown back up, Gina turned to her side, flicking off the lamp as she watched the shadows on the wall.

    _I am the monkey. I dance so that the others don't have to_.


	3. Chapter 3

   "I heard that the whole satellite station was taken out. They were executed."

  
     "Oh my God! That's horrible. All those poor people."

   Gina listened intently as Lexie and Leticia spoke about the incident a few days before. The night before Negan slept with her, their furthest outpost had been invaded, and everyone was slaughtered in their sleep.

   Once the confusion had died down, Negan ordered the Sanctuary together to inform people of the attack. The culprits were unknown at this time, since the Hilltop and the Kingdom, among others, didn't have the firepower to take on the Saviors.  
  

    Negan had stood above the crowd, who knelt down to listen to him, his bat resting on his shoulder as he spoke.

   "Let me say this loud and clear. We will find the fuckers who did this, and order will be restored." He walked slowly back and forth, his hand gripping the bat tightly. "I want every able bodied man in this compound to meet me in the yard in fifteen minutes. If I find out that any one of you has any knowledge of who this new group is, and you didn't tell me, you might as well bash your own fucking head in and save me the trouble."

   As he turned to walk out, everyone scattered, including the wives. Gina knew that he would not be visiting them anytime soon, consumed with revenge. As they made their way towards the steps, she noticed Sherry and Dwight exchanging unnerved glances at each other.

   "I knew so many of them," Lexie murmured sadly, her hands clasped together in her lap. Leticia put her arm around Lexie's shoulders.

   "I'm sorry, Lexie. Hopefully, they didn't suffer."

   Gina cleared her throat as she stood up, coming to stand in front of Lexie. "I'm sorry, too."

   Lexie gave her a watery smile, and Gina headed over to get her a glass of water since Lexie didn't drink. Handing it over to her, she resumed her spot on the couch. Atypically, Sherry walked in, the last one to arrive. Smoothing her hair down, she went straight for the bourbon, not even bothering with the ice. Pouring a bit of the alcohol in the glass, she tossed it back quickly before adding more.

   Gina went over to the bar, taking the bottle from Sherry's grip and twisted the top back on. "Are you going to tell me what's going on?" she asked, too low for the other girls to hear. She glanced quickly at Gina before looking back down at the glass. "There's nothing to tell."

   "You're a terrible liar, Sherry. You know something. Just tell me. You know you can trust me."

   "We'll talk later. You know he'll be here soon."

   Gina nodded her head. "Come see me tonight when everyone's asleep."

   Deciding not to watch for Negan's return, Gina walked back over to the couch, sitting down heavily before crossing her legs, her foot bouncing up and down rapidly. She was anxious to get the evening over with so that the two could talk. On the table in front of the couch, there was an array of vegetables, so Gina grabbed a few carrot sticks, munching on them absently while they waited.

   Amber came to sit on the other side of her, and Gina held out a few cucumber slices. The younger girl shook her head, but Gina insisted. Amber was the least happy of the wives and barely ate. She had gotten dangerously skinny over the last few weeks, to the point that her clothes were hanging off of her slim frame. Taking the crispy pieces, she chewed them mechanically as Gina hovered over her, handing her a few more.

   When Sherry sat on the other side of her a few minutes later, she knew that Negan was back. The door opened quickly, and he came strutting into the room. His eyes were fiery, and without preamble, he beckoned to both Lexie and Leticia, not sparing a glance to the others. The two looked quickly at each other before standing up, following him out of the door.

   Amber's shoulders sagged in relief as Gina thrust a few carrot sticks in her right hand. "You don't have to do this, Amber," Sherry told her consolingly. "He won't keep you against your will. You can always go back to Mark and your mother."

   With trembling lips, Amber spoke in a shaky voice. "I can't face him. I can't ever go back to him after what Negan did to him. It's my fault, and I know he probably hates me after what happened."

   "Oh, bullshit," Gina said harshly, causing Amber's mouth to pop open.

   "Gina," Sherry muttered warningly, but Gina continued on.

   "You have a man that loves you, and went through hell for you. Fuck, he still wanted you even after you took this deal. If you've survived this long in this shitty world, you're strong enough to survive the Sanctuary. And you'd have someone that truly cares about you at your side."

   Standing up, she stepped around Amber's legs, making her way to the door, leaving the other two women staring after her. Gina was angry and wanted to go to her room before she shot her mouth off even more. Unfortunately, this was also the exact same time that Negan was walking down the hall towards Lexie's room. He grabbed her arm as she tried to walk past him, pulling her to a stop.

   "Aww, baby, don't be jealous. I just needed a little more tonight than you could give me."

   With narrowed eyes, she looked him up and down. "You don't know me at all if you think that you frolicking with those two makes me jealous."

   His jaw clenched briefly before he composed himself, turning on a thousand watt smile. "Whatever you say, sweetheart."

   Pulling her arm from his grasp, she grinned at him sarcastically. "Enjoy your night," she said before stomping down the hall towards her room.

   Once she had her comfortable clothes back on, she sat cross-legged on the bed, drumming her nails on her knees. Amber was still at the forefront of her thoughts, and she felt a little guilty for snapping at her, but not enough to go and apologize. The girl had someone who was crazy for her, crazy enough to risk being punished just for being with her, and Amber kept taking the easy way out.

   If Gina had a man that cared that much for her, there is nothing she wouldn't do to be with him, no matter how crappy the situation. She held no illusions about how different it was for the rest of the residents, but they had walls, a roof, food, and basic supplies. That's about all you could ask for in this day and age, and Amber was throwing it away all because she was weak.

   Whatever. It wasn't her problem anyways. What was her problem was her festering resentment of Negan, and the way he treated her.

   Gina knew that she was in a fragile state when she was brought to the Sanctuary, but he was still treating her as if she would break at any moment. Not that she wanted any extra attention from him at this point, but she was sick of her room, sick of the same exact seduction scene every time he came to her, and tired of his insistence that everything goes the way he wanted it to. She had a plan for the next time, and she was going to see it through, come hell or high water.

   Stretching her legs out, she lay back on her pillow to wait for Sherry to come to see her. Looking at the clock, she set the alarm for 2 o'clock, and if she didn't show up by then, she'd go to Sherry's room instead.

   She need not have bothered, as her door opened quietly at about 1 in the morning. Gina flicked on the lamp, sitting up in the bed as Sherry came and got onto the bed next to her. Curling up against the headboard, Sherry grabbed one of the tiny pillows that were on the bed, clutching it to her chest as Gina watched her quietly.

   "I talked to Dwight," she began, fiddling with one of the little beads that were sewn onto the pink material. "I never told you what happened when we left, but I might as well now."

   Gina shifted in the bed, facing her friend. "Go ahead," she urged quietly.

   "When we set off, it was to get Tina away from here and to keep her safe. Negan had already wanted her for a wife, but she was a lot like Amber, too soft for this kind of existence. We just wanted to take her somewhere that she could be taken care of since she had diabetes."

   Gina nodded without saying anything, thinking of the young girl with the gentle smile. Negan had been furious when he found out that they had taken off with all of the insulin in the compound. Being the man that he was, he held it over all their heads that the medicine came with a price.

   "Once we got away, we didn't have a clue where to go, knowing that Negan would have his men scour the entire area looking for us. We were hiding in the woods when we came upon a man who had been injured," she continued, pulling at random beads. "We thought he was one of the Saviors, one we hadn't seen before. He managed to escape and took the bag with Tina's medicine in it. At that point, we had just about given up, figuring we were dead no matter what."

   Looking up, Sherry focused tired eyes on Gina. "He ended up coming back, offering us safety. Turns out he wasn't a Savior at all. He claimed they had a community, and that we would be safe there."

   Gina bit back her questions, letting Sherry continue her story. "You know that Tina was bitten, I had already told you that," she said in a strangled voice, "but what you didn't know is that Dwight and I left this poor guy out there, taking his bike. We thought he was full of shit."

   The hairs on the back of Gina's neck began to raise as she sensed Sherry was getting to the most important part of the story. "The group of people didn't just attack the outpost, they also killed Paula and her group at the safe house. And they took the bike. _Only_ the bike."

   "So you think it was this guy that you met? You think it was his group?"

   "It has to be. Who else would care about the bike? It has to be this group that Negan doesn't know about. None of the other settlements would ever try something this suicidal. He has them under control."

   Gina reached out, placing her hand over Sherry's. "You can't ever let him know. He'll kill you both if he found out you knew another group was out there."

   "I know," Sherry replied, setting the pillow back on the bed. "I know. I've caused enough damage to Dwight. I don't want to ever cause any more."

   Climbing off the bed, Sherry made her way to the door. "Hey, Sher," Gina said quietly. Sherry turned with a questioning look. "Did that guy ever tell you anything else about his group? Where they were?"

   Shaking her head, Sherry replied just as softly. "No, he only told us his name."

   "And?"

   "He said his name was Daryl."


	4. Chapter 4

  
   The raindrops fell steadily as Gina continued digging into the warm dirt, turning it in succession around each plant. Plucking the tiny weeds between her fingers, she dropped them into the bucket she had placed next to her. After each plant was done, she would pinch off any new undergrowth to speed production of the bigger branches. 

  The tomato plants had many green bulbs blossoming, she noted with satisfaction. The gardeners had outdone themselves with this batch, and her mouth watered, thinking of the upcoming harvest. 

   "Honey, it's really starting to come down," Gretchen called out to her. "We're wrapping up for the day."

   "I'll be right in," Gina replied. "I just have a few more in this row. Besides, it's just rain. There's no thunder or lightning right now."

   Shaking her head, Gretchen moved towards the gate, closing it behind her with a click. Pulling the bucket with her, Gina continued down the line, working meticulously with each plant. When the last plant was clean, she sat back, stretching her back as she pushed wet strands of hair out of her face. Letting the drops spatter her face, she took a deep breath, pushing out thoughts of the past, thoughts of what brought her to this gray place.

   A long horn beeping shook her from her reveries, and she stood up quickly, carrying her supplies to the gate before shutting it behind her with a click. Dropping everything on the ground, she hurried towards the back entrance, scooting around people towards the stairwell. Gina wasn't sure if Negan was with the men that were arriving at the moment, but it was better to be safe than sorry.

   After a quick shower, she stood in front of her closet, staring at the dresses that lined it. With a steady hand, she pulled out one that she had never worn before, laying it on the bed while she did her makeup and hair. Deftly applying her lip gloss, she walked back towards the bed, stepping into the red dress, adjusting her breasts so that they nearly spilled out of the top. Spritzing a cloud of perfume, she walked through it and out her door, into the lounge.

   This time, she was the last one in. Sherry handed her a drink as she walked in, watching her with suspicion. She bypassed her without a word, smiling at the other wives as she stepped over to the window to watch. Negan was not out there yet, so she grabbed one of the barstools, setting it along the wall so that she could keep an eye out. 

   Sipping her whiskey slowly, she glanced at the other women out of the corner of her eye. Leticia and Lexie were their usual selves, but Amber was huddled up forlornly in the corner of the couch. She had dark circles under her eyes, which she had unsuccessfuly tried to cover up with makeup. 

   With a shake of her head, Gina reached over for the gold cigarette case, tilting the window open as she lit one up. Sherry pulled the other stool over towards her and Gina handed her the lighter and pack. They sat together, both just staring out the window. 

   "You look nice," Sherry finally said, taking in her outfit. "Thanks," Gina muttered, flicking her ashes into the glass ashtray that sat on the ledge of the window. "Looking for some extra attention?" Sherry asked with a knowing look as Gina looked at her sharply.

   "Something like that," Gina demurred, with a furtive glance at Amber, who didn't seem to notice. 

   The time dragged on as they waited, until the gates finally swung open, the large black truck that Negan usually drove moving slowly through. Stepping out, he appeared to be in a fine mood, smiling and gesturing to Simon, his right hand man. With a last swallow of her drink, Gina set it on the bar, putting her stool back in place as Sherry followed her cues, and they both sat on the couch, with Gina in the middle next to Amber.

   With a pat to her knee by Gina, Amber sat up straight, crossing her legs at the ankles, though she wouldn't look at Gina.

   Pulling her skirt up slightly so that it sat mid-thigh, Gina discreetly readjusted her top, pushing her shoulders back so that her cleavage was center stage. She noticed Leticia looking at her with raised eyebrows, and she gave her a conspiratorial smile. Shrugging, Leticia turned her head as the door opened. 

   Negan's hair was slightly tousled from the wind and rain, and he was in a very good mood, judging from the smile on his face. Looking from woman to woman, his gaze finally turned towards her, looking Gina up and down with mild surprise. She watched him carefully, a small smile playing at her lips. Walking between the two couches, he touched Lexie and Leticia on the head before coming to stand in front of the remaining three women. 

   With a passing glance to Sherry, who sat stonefaced, he looked at Amber, who stared straight forward with dull eyes. Negan's own eyes narrowed suspiciously until the sound of Gina taking a deep breath brought his attention back to her as her chest fell forward slightly. 

   "Come on, baby," he purred at her, extending his hand as she took it, curling her fingers around his. He walked in front of her as she quickly looked at Amber, who watched her in relief. Giving her a quick wink, she faced forward as they exited the room. 

   "Do still want to deny that you weren't jealous, sweetness?" Negan said in a low drawl as they stopped in front of her door. Biting back a smart reply, she tilted her head to the side. "Are you going to go freshen up for me, Negan?"

   "I'll be back in a few," he said, kissing her on the forehead. "Put the white on again."

   Gina watched him walk towards his suite, his long legs moving quickly, and she rolled her eyes as the door shut behind him. Opening her own door, she went in to get ready.

   When he finally returned, Negan's eyebrows knitted together as he took in her appearance. Instead of the white nightgown he requested, she was wearing a tiny, black negligee that was completely see through, along with lacy black panties. Her hair was piled in a crown on her head as she leaned back on the bed, legs swinging back and forth.

   "What the fuck, Gina?"

   Gina stood, moving slowly towards him as she placed her hands on his chest. "Tonight I'm not you're little breakable doll," she murmured, kissing his neck. "Tonight, I'm me."

   Placing his hands on her shoulders, Negan pushed her back slightly. "What the hell are you talking about?"

   Gina brushed him off of her before advancing towards him, backing him into the door. "I'm talking about the fact that ever since you took me as a wife, you've treated me like I'm a fragile, broken woman. We both know what happened to me, but I'm good. I'm better than good."

   Leaning in, she began kissing his neck again, making her way up to his ear, taking it in her teeth before whispering in his ear. "I want you to fuck me."

   She felt him grasp her hair, pulling her head back. When she looked in his eyes, she could see the doubt, along with desire. Feeling a pull on her scalp, she reached her lips to his, forcing his mouth open to kiss him deeply. His other hand reached down, slipping into her panties. He could feel the slickness there as his fingers moved back and forth, eliciting a moan from her.

   With both hands, she took the back of his head, pulling him steadily towards the bed, where she turned him around, forcing him onto his back. Untying his pants, she pulled them off roughly as he watched her. Kneeling at the foot of the bed, Gina bent between his legs, taking him into her mouth quickly before he could argue. 

   She watched him as she moved, her hand and mouth working in tandem together. Swirling her tongue around the tip, he let out a groan as she bobbed up and down. 

   Before he could get too close, she released him as his eyes opened in confusion. Grabbing the hem of the negligee, she pulled it over her head, tossing it towards him. Stepping off the bed, she slowly eased the black panties down her legs. When she was completely nude, she crawled back onto the bed, straddling his waist.

   "This is me," she said softly as she bent over to kiss him. "This is the real me."

   Reaching between her legs, she took him in her hand, teasing her entrance with him before slowly guiding herself down on him. Moving up and down, Gina placed her hands on his chest to steady herself as she began to quicken the pace, his hips thrusting up towards her. 

   When she felt herself getting close, she reached out blindly, her eyes closed to pull him into a sitting position. Negan took each breast into his mouth as she leaned back, her arms on his legs as she moved faster and faster. When she finally cried out, she dug her nails into his thighs, shuddering around him. Limp, she let him lay her back as he situated himself on top of her. 

   Tentatively, he continued moving in and out until she urged him to go faster, go harder. He finally did, his mouth sucking on her neck, teeth grazing her skin as her hands kneaded his shoulders until he finally called out her name.

   They lay there together, limbs entwined as they both panted, hot and sweaty. Negan finally raised himself up on one elbow, watching her for any signs of distress, but she merely smiled at him. "Are you okay?" he asked as she lifted her head to kiss him.

   "I told you I'm fine. I have been for a while."

   Instead of leaving like he usually did, Negan pulled the covers to her bed down, sliding under them as she did the same. They lay on their sides facing each other as he ran his hand along her arm. It was quiet, except for the ticking of her alarm clock as she watched him. She had so many conflicting feelings about this man, and they all fought their way to the top of her consciousness.

   "What?" he questioned as he watched a variety of emotions cross her face.

   "Aside from looks, I'm just wondering why you pick the women that you do," she said as she watched his reaction.

   "Does it matter?"

   "I never said it did," she reponded steadily. "I'm curious. Is it a big secret?"

   Negan removed his hand, letting it drop between the two of them. "No. But when I see something I want, I usually get it."

   "And what did you see in me?"

   "Someone that could benefit from what I have to offer."

    Gina stared at him with one eyebrow raised. "That's it?"

   He sat up, looking around for his pants as she rolled over onto her back, muttering under her breath. "Excuse me?" he snapped over his shoulder, before standing up.  
She watched as he bent over, his broad shoulders pulling the material over his legs, letting it hit his waist with a snap. "I said,'so much for pillow talk.'"

   Turning to face her, Negan leaned down, kissing her quickly on the lips. "I'm not one for sharing, doll. Get some sleep."

   Her eyes followed his form as he moved across her room. When he reached the door, he paused with his hand on the knob. "You intrigued me," he said in a low voice. "It surprised me that you were as strong as you seemed to be when you were brought here. It surprises me still that you adapted as well as you have."

   Without waiting for a response, he opened the door, closing it softly behind him. Gina rolled back onto her side, contemplating his words. She was strong, she knew that. Strong enough to step in to protect Amber, which was her only goal for the evening. But she wasn't sure she was strong enough to get any closer to Negan.


	5. Chapter 5

  
   The next several days were tense as the Saviors had a breakthrough in finding members of the mysterious new group, Dwight specifically. Negan had dispatched him and a smaller contingent of men to do some scouting, and they tracked the mysterious Daryl, along with a few men and women that had accompanied him.

   Sherry confided in Gina that one of the women with Daryl was killed, but that a few of Dwight's scouts were also killed in the ensuing fight. Dwight was able to escape, hightailing back to the Sanctuary, much to Sherry's relief. It only added to Gina's sense of foreboding, however. Since this Daryl didn't surrender, it was entirely possible that a war was coming.

   But Negan was nothing if not prepared, and he had commanded that his best scouts spend day and night tracking this group, and he told them not to return until they found their community. He also cautioned that nothing was to be done without his say so. Right now, they were to watch and wait.

   Gina was sitting at her usual table eating breakfast when Sherry came down to join her, empty handed.

   "Did you already eat?" Gina inquired as she took a spoonful of oatmeal. Sherry nodded her head, her fingernails tapping the top of the metal table. Sensing something was afoot, Gina hurried up and finished her breakfast. Clattering her spoon in the bowl, she took the tray back to the kitchen before motioning to Sherry to follow her outside.

   Gina led them towards the back area of the gardens, where she knew they could be alone. Pulling a pack of cigarettes and a lighter from her pocket, she took one before handing the rest to Sherry who lit one up quickly. With a long exhale, she looked up at the gray sky, which was possibly moments from beginning to rain again. "Dwight found the group."

   "That's good, I guess," Gina reasoned, watching Sherry carefully.

   "They've got all roads out of their community covered. Now, they're waiting for their leaders to leave for any reason."

   "Is their community a big factory like this?" Gina asked, tapping on her cigarette to release the ash.

   Sherry shook her head, taking another drag of the cigarette. "It's a community of houses, with a large wall around it."

   Turning to face Sherry, Gina looked at her quizzically. "Why the fuck would a small group living in houses attack the Saviors? It doesn't make any sense."

   Frowning, Sherry continued to look up at the sky. "Simon seems to think that they hooked up with one of the other communities. Maybe tried to strike first before Negan found them."

   "Well, that was pretty fucking stupid," Gina muttered, thinking of the unnamed group. "Why would you take on someone that had no clue you existed?"

   "You know he would have found them eventually," Sherry reasoned as they stood facing each other. "You know what he does when he sets the tone."

   "Well, imagine how much worse it will be for those people now. I wonder which group they collaborated with. My money is on the Hilltop. Their leader is an asshole."

   "He is, but he's a spineless asshole, from what Dwight has told me," Sherry replied.

   Gina looked at her friend steadily. "Do you think you should be spending so much time with Dwight?" she asked carefully, placing her hand on Sherry's arm. "What do you mean?" Sherry snapped.

   "I just mean, you know how Negan is," she replied. "You know he looks for any reason to punish Dwight. If he found out how much you two talk, it could be a problem."

   Sherry stamped out her cigarette as she headed back towards the factory, leaving Gina standing there alone. She thought of following Sherry but decided to wait until she cooled off to talk to her again. Walking slowly towards the front of the Sanctuary, she came around the corner, nearly running into Negan, who was striding towards his truck. Steadying her with his hands, he looked her over, displeased that she wasn't dressed up.

  "Tell the other girls not to wait up for me tonight," he said with a grin, one that always made her nervous. Releasing her, he continued towards his truck, taking the driver's seat. Gunning the engine, he made a circle and shot off through the gates.

   Gina waited until the gates closed up with a clank before she walked into the factory. Making her way through the building, she climbed the steps at a steady pace, stopping briefly at the top before the opened the door to Negan's floor. Sherry's door was open, so she took a right towards her room. When she peered in, Sherry was sitting on the bed with her head in her hands.

   Knocking on the door frame, Sherry looked up at her with a tear stained face. Without waiting for an invitation, Gina stepped in and closed the door behind her. "I didn't mean to upset you," Gina said quietly as she put her arm around Sherry's shoulders. "I just worry about you. And Amber. Neither of you wanted this."

   "Did you?" Sherry asked her as she wiped her eyes. "It's different for me," Gina said, dropping her hand. "I don't have anyone else to worry about. I didn't have to leave anyone behind when I walked up those steps to this floor."

   "You mean you actually enjoy this?" Sherry asked her with wide eyes.

   "I mean, it's not the worst thing ever," Gina replied as she looked at the wall. "Negan's never been cruel to me, and I'm not outside these walls struggling. Look," she said, standing up, "I'll let you rest, I just wanted to make sure you were alright. Negan's going to be gone for the night, so everyone can relax."

   When she was back in her own room, Gina paced restlessly, thinking about the look on Sherry's face. It unnerved her, and she felt guilty that she didn't hate her situation more. She knew Negan was not a good man, nor did he have virtuous reasons for what he did. But she tried not to think about the other communities. If they weren't strong enough to be on top, well, then that was their weakness, not hers.

   She had thought of leaving before, but what was the point? She could run into worse people than the Saviors. She had run into worse people than the Saviors. She owed them loyalty. They helped her and brought her back here for treatment. Negan himself had ordered the doctor to treat her with everything available. Even if it was just because he wanted her for a wife, well, it was better than nothing.

   Changing into her shorts and tank top, Gina crawled into bed even though it was still light out. She wasn't sure what time she fell asleep, but when her eyes opened again, it appeared to be morning, and she could hear Negan's booming voice in the hall. Her door opened as she sat up, brushing the hair from her eyes. Leaning against the door frame, he was covered in blood spatter and his eyes were sparkling.

   "Good morning, baby," he said in a chipper tone as she stretched her arms over her head. "Come to my room in a few minutes, please," he told her as he pointed his bloodstained bat towards her. "No need to change."

   Leaving the door open, he sauntered back out into the hall as she pulled the covers off of her legs. Gina went in and brushed her teeth and hair before making her way down the hall in bare feet. She knocked, but there was no answer, so she opened the door to his room. This was only one of a handful of times that she had been summoned into his private quarters, and she was curious as to why he wanted her there.

   Taking a seat in front of his desk, she stifled a yawn as she waited. The doors leading to his bedroom were opened and she could hear the shower running. A few moments later, he came out in nothing but a towel, steam following him out in a cloud. Negan beckoned her into his room, pointing at the bed. Sitting down, she watched him as he dropped the towel before fishing out a pair of shorts, which he stepped into quickly.

   "Come lay with me," he said to her as he crossed the room to the head of the bed. Confused, she complied as she stepped around to the other side. They pulled the comforter down in tandem as they settled themselves into his plush surroundings. As Gina lay on her back, he curled himself into her, and she wrapped her arms around him, running her hands down his back.

   "Is everything okay?" she asked softly as he took a deep breath.

   "Everything went exactly as planned," he told her in a gruff voice. "It was a long night, but the point was made, and we shouldn't have any further trouble from those pricks."

   Gina was silent as she wondered what exactly went down, but thought that she was better off not knowing, since surely people had been killed, particularly by Lucille, Negan's favorite weapon.

   "We're going to pay them a visit in a few days to make sure the message has sunk in."

   "I see," she said neutrally as his arms tightened around her. Lifting his head slightly, he looked her in the eyes, just studying her. "Don't tell me you feel bad for those people? After what they did?"

   "I didn't say that," she told him in what she hoped was a reassuring voice. "I have no idea what goes on outside these walls where you're concerned, so I have no opinion. I just hope this is the end of any uprising."

   Kissing the top of his head, she ran her fingers through his hair as he settled himself against her chest. "Get some sleep," she told him softly.

   As she continued to stroke his head, his breathing started to slow, and she looked out the window. Something about this situation unfolding felt odd to her, but she couldn't quite put her finger on why. With a lack of anything else to do, she shut her eyes.


	6. Chapter 6

 

     
   The mood on the top floor had been off since Amber finally requested to return to Mark and her mother. Gina, for one, was relieved, but Amber hadn't been seen since, even in the cafeteria. No one dared to broach the subject to Negan, and even Dwight had no answers to where the three had been put. The rumors were not that she had defected, but that Negan had banished her from his harem.

   The most popular theory was that they had been shipped to the furthest outpost, stuck guarding non-perishable items. The day after she left, Sherry seemed to retreat further into herself, and despite Gina's attempts, would only speak superficially. It occurred to Gina that Sherry was taken by surprise that Amber actually went through with it, and was possibly wondering if she could do the same thing.

   Given Negan's temperament, Gina was sure he would rather beat himself to death with Lucille than see Sherry back with Dwight. It hurt Gina's heart to see the predicament that her only friend was in, but she couldn't see any way that it would work out for Sherry the same as Amber. Wherever she was, Gina hoped that she was happy.

  After the night that Negan took over the new group, which was known as Alexandria, Gina learned that the Saviors had taken Daryl as a prisoner. Sherry was informed by Dwight, and had rushed to her room, unseen by everyone for nearly twenty-four hours. The food that Lexie had placed by her door went untouched, only to be removed and returned to the kitchen.

   When she finally emerged, she looked like a shell of herself. Sensing something was seriously wrong, Lexie and Leticia did their best to distract Negan, who hadn't called on Sherry in some time. After he would take one of them to bed, Gina would sit with Sherry in the lounge to make sure she didn't drink too much, mostly to no avail. So she spent her nights getting her back to her room and making sure Sherry was up and moving in the mornings.

   The night before the Saviors made their first collection at Alexandria, Negan came into the lounge, all smiles. He was always at his happiest when he had a new audience, and the women knew that he was particularly proud of breaking the Alexandrian leader. Most of the other settlements in his domain had acquiesced rather easily, and Negan loved nothing more than a challenge. On that note, it was no surprise when he made a beeline for Sherry, even though Lexie and Leticia were vying for his attention.

   Gina kept her eyes on the ground as he pulled Sherry from her seat, too frozen to say anything. When she finally pulled her eyes from the floor, she saw that Negan was watching her with amusement, as if he knew the game that they were all playing. It sent a shiver up her spine as he watched the two leave.

   Standing on shaky legs, Gina bid the other two goodnight as she hurried to her room, closing the bathroom door behind her as she scrubbed her face. As she walked back into her room, she let out a yelp as she saw Negan sitting on her bed, and her hand flew back into the door frame, hitting it with a loud crack.

   "God damn it!" she swore as she swung it back towards her chest, cradling the stinging knuckles in her other hand. "What the hell are you doing in here?" Gina wheezed as she tried to flex her fingers. Negan stood, walking over to her and reaching for her hand as she pulled back. "Let me see it," he told her as she shook her head.

   "Don't touch it," she warned him as he held his own hand out. Extending her arm out, she held it just above his hand as he inspected it. "Don't move," he replied as he left the room, returning a few seconds later with ice wrapped in a towel. Motioning her towards the bed, Gina sat down as he handed her the ice pack, and she placed it gingerly on her knuckles.

   "I'm asking again, what the hell are you doing in here?"

   "These are all my rooms, doll. I'm pretty fucking sure I can come and go as I please," he said in a sharp voice.

   "What I mean is, why are you in here when you already took Sherry for the evening?" Gina questioned in a more polite tone as she flexed her fingers, wincing slightly.

   "Do you really think I'd sleep with her in the state that she's in?"

   Gina didn't reply as she kept her face down, focusing on her hand.

   "I want to know why she's all morose and shit," he prodded as she sat there, her eyes closing briefly. "Why don't you just ask her then?" she said quietly.

   "Gina," he said in a warning tone.

   She finally looked up at him, responding in the same quiet voice. "She's upset about Amber leaving. We never got to say goodbye to her."

   His face hardened as he watched her. "The others don't seem that upset."

   "Leticia and Lexie care about themselves."

   He studied her closely before replying. "I thought you all got along."

   "We do. It doesn't mean we're all on the same wavelength. Shallow pools and whatnot."

   His voice was pure curiosity when he presented the next question. "Are you upset that Amber's gone?"

   Looking back down at her hand, she let her hair fall along her face, creating a curtain between them. "I'm glad for her if it's what she wanted. She's a young girl who deserves some happiness in this shitty world."

   The silence between them was thick as she concentrated on her throbbing knuckles. When she finally looked up, Negan was watching her derisively. "I'll have someone bring up some painkillers for you."

   "Thanks," she said as he stood up.

   After he left, she took her dress off, unzipping it awkwardly using only one hand. As she was pulling a shirt over her head, there was a knock on the door. Calling out for whoever it was to come in, Gina was intrigued to see that it was Dwight, who was carrying a bottle of aspirin and a glass of water.

   "Thanks," she told him as he opened the bottle for her, shaking two out into her palm. Flipping them into her mouth, she took a large drink of water before setting it on her drawer. Cocking an eyebrow, she waited for Dwight to speak as he stood there uncomfortably.

   "Is Sherry around?"

   Gina nodded her head. "I think she's in bed for the evening."

   Dwight's face deadened and she amended her words. "She's sleeping." Taking a step forward, she spoke again. "Is there something you wanted me to tell her? I could pass a message along."

   "No. Have a good night."

   With that, he left, leaving her alone again in her room. Crawling into her bed, Gina kept her arm above the covers, placing the towel back on her knuckles, which were slightly swollen, though she didn't think there was any permanent damage.

   Ruminating on her conversation with Negan, she tossed and turned for much of the night. She wasn't sure what kind of validation he was looking for from her. He was no fool, and he had to know that some of his wives weren't with him out of the kindness of their hearts. In fact, one or two of them were there because they felt they had no other option. It didn't make him a saint in her book.

   The next morning, she dragged herself out of bed, flexing her fingers gently. They felt better, so she got dressed quickly before knocking on Sherry's door. There was no answer, so she headed into the lounge, surprised to find the other three women already there, each dressed casually since the Saviors would be spending the day at Alexandria.

   Taking a seat next to Sherry, she felt her grab her good hand and give it a quick squeeze. The other two were oblivious, gossiping about the residents of the Sanctuary as they ate. Gina was ravenous, and she dug into the eggs, dumping them on the remaining empty plate before pouring herself some orange juice.

   After they were done, Lexie suggested they watch a movie, and she and Leticia went over to the armoire to pick out one together. While they were busy, she leaned in, whispering in Sherry's ear. "Are you feeling better?"

   "I am," Sherry said serenely. "I had a lot to think about last night, but I'm good now."

   Gina told her quickly how she hurt her hand, and about her conversation with Negan. Sherry didn't seem surprised about what Gina said, nor with Negan's reaction, though she did give a little laugh about her assessment of the two L's.

   After debating internally about whether or not to tell Sherry about Dwight, she decided against it. It was good to see her friend somewhat happy for once, and she didn't want to be the one to ruin it.

   The rest of the afternoon was pleasant as the foursome relaxed, snacking and just enjoying the peace and quiet. Lunch was brought to them by a young man that had just started working in the kitchen, and Leticia was a touch too thankful. Sherry gave her a warning look before dismissing the delivery boy, and Leticia smiled apologetically.

   As the sun started to dip in the sky, the four headed their separate ways to get ready for the evening. Gina was morbidly curious to see how the day went at Alexandria. She wondered if there were any residents that would try to resist the first collection. From her experience, if they were compliant the first time, they would get better treatment from Negan and the Saviors. Of course, it didn't hurt that Negan had taken one of their members who currently occupied a cell on the bottom floor.

   After slipping a diamond necklace around her neck, Gina made her way back into the lounge. Surprisingly, Leticia was drinking a glass of wine, and Sherry had dragged one of the stools over to the window. She was perched on the edge, though she wasn't drinking. Deciding to join her, she grabbed the other seat and pulled it over.

   Before long, the gates swung open, and the procession of trucks began. From the looks of things, the Saviors had done well. Truck beds were overloaded with supplies, and the two watched as a delivery truck was opened, revealing a large cache of guns. Negan was the last to arrive, and when he stepped out, Gina felt a buzzing in her gut.

He looked furious, barking orders at men who scattered like cockroaches. Hurriedly, she and Sherry put their stools back and hustled over to the couch. "What do you think went wrong?" Sherry murmured as Gina sat up straight, her heart thrumming in her chest.

   "No fucking clue," she whispered back. "You think he'd be happy with that kind of haul on the first visit."

   An anxious few moments later, the door opened, but it wasn't Negan. Instead, Simon entered, walking over to Gina hastily. His face was suspicious as he focused on her. "The boss wants to see you in his office right now."

   Gina and Sherry exchanged a quick look before she stood up, watching Simon's back as she followed him out the door. "Did something happen?" she asked but got no response.

   Simon opened the door, ushering her in without a word. Negan was sitting behind his desk, tapping Lucille on the top as he stared daggers at her. Thoroughly confused, she sat on the chair opposite him, crossing her legs and placing her hands in his lap. He continued to watch her as she grew more and more nervous. Just when she was about to crack, he finally spoke, and it nearly knocked her off of her chair.

   "Riddle me this, my dear wife. Why in the everloving _fuck_ is there someone at Alexandria that looks _exactly_ like you?"


	7. Chapter 7

**Talia**

_Every fucking morning_.

   The relentless chirping started before the sun even rose. It didn't matter if the window was open or closed. Talia was awakened by the same bird every day.

   Grabbing the pillow on the other side of the bed, Talia flung it behind her towards the window, causing the bird to screech before she heard the fluttery sound of wings as it took off. Snuggling back on her side, she tried to drift back off to sleep, but within minutes, the bird was back.

   "One of these days," she mumbled, "bam! I'm going to kill you, bird."

   Sitting up with a groan, she swung her legs out of the bed with a yawn. Running her hands through her hair, she stumbled out of the bed towards the window, picking the pillow off the floor and tossing it back onto the bed.

   With half closed eyes, she stumbled into her bathroom and turned the shower on, sitting on the toilet lid as she got her bearings. Once the water was warm enough, Talia shed her clothes and stepped in, letting the warm water fall over her head as she reached for the shampoo. Humming to herself, she immersed herself in the warm water, cleaning herself from head to toe.

   As she turned off the water, Talia reached for the towel, giving her body the once over before wrapping her hair up. Nude, she strolled back into her room to get ready, grabbing a pair of jeans and a t-shirt and throwing them on the bed. After dressing, she toweled out her hair before pulling it back into a ponytail.

   Lastly, she grabbed her weapons belt, fastening it around her waist and holstering her gun. She moved swiftly through the hallway and down the steps into the kitchen to grab a cup of coffee before heading out to the wall. Grabbing her favorite mug, Talia filled it with water and set it in the microwave, pressing the button as she reached into the cupboard for some instant coffee.

   As the cup rotated around, she went to the mudroom, where she kept her boots and brought them back, lacing them up. The microwave beeped, and she pulled the steaming water out, tossing in two scoops of the shitty instant grounds, swirling them quickly. The spoon clattered in the sink when she dropped it, and she sipped the black liquid. She was out of sugar and creamer, and the bitter substance gave her an involuntary shiver.

   After she finished the coffee, she set the cup in the sink with more care than she had shown the spoon, wiping her mouth. Rolling her shoulders, she moved towards the door, poking at the scar on her chest, just above her heart. It was lumpy and uneven, still stinging every now and then. She was aware of it, even when it wasn't bothering her. It never stopped reminding her of what she lost, of who she lost. It was why she still went outside the walls, not just for supplies, but to see if there was any sign of life, any sign of her other half. Of Gina.

   Shaking her head, she opened the door, stepping out into the still cool air. As she made her way down to the street, she saw people rushing into Rick Grimes' house. She slowed her pace as she passed, but she couldn't hear any sounds of commotion, so she continued on her way.

   Rick Grimes and his people had arrived several weeks after she did, both by Aaron's hand. Aaron was the scout for the Alexandria community, and it was sheer dumb luck that he had found her. Her memories were spotty, but he had found her half-submerged in a stream, blood covering most of her top half. Aaron had come over to put her down, thinking that Talia was a walker when she let out a cry.  

    Aaron and his partner, Eric, had carried her back to their vehicle, rushing her back to the walls of Alexandria. Eric had sat with her head in his lap as Aaron drove, ready to end her if she had died and turned. Somehow, she survived the trip and she was rushed to the Alexandria doctor, Pete Anderson, who worked feverishly to save her life.

   The bullet that had nearly claimed her life was extracted, and he spent the evening putting her back together. Talia remembered waking up handcuffed to a gurney, disoriented and agitated. Aaron told her that she had kept asking where Gina was. Of course, they had no clue who that was.

   Her recovery had been slow, and Talia had requested repeatedly to be let go so that she could search for her sister, but Alexandria's leader at that time, Deanna, gently insisted that she stay put for the time being. Talia's head had battled with her heart, but she knew that if she didn't get healthy, there was no way she could continue to search for Gina. So she stayed.

   As she got to know the community, she realized that they were woefully unprepared for the realities of this world. They were like children, insulated from the harsh realities of what had been happening outside their walls. Most had been there since civilization eroded, and most hadn't even learned how to kill walkers. Worse, they ignored things happening behind the walls. She had no proof, but she suspected that Pete was not the wonderful man he appeared to be outside his office.

   When Rick and his people showed up with Aaron, they were intimidating, to say the least. They wore the fatigue and weariness of people who had been on the road since the beginning, and it heralded deadly growing pains for the Alexandrians, starting with Pete.

   Talia was fully behind the change, believing as many did that Alexandria could be a place worth fighting for. She just couldn't give up the search for her sister. So she would go out alone at first, trying to retrace her steps from where Aaron found her, directions written on a map of the area. Gradually her search expanded, but there was never any sight of Gina. She felt in her heart that her GiGi was out there somewhere, but she was at a loss for where to search next.

   Eventually, she joined some of the Alexandrians on supply runs, usually with Rosita, and sometimes with Daryl. Both were capable and smart and seemed to be some of the most experienced at scavenging. They knew that she was always keeping an eye out for her sister, but they never pried too deeply, especially Daryl. He had a stoic demeanor, never saying any more than was needed.

   Climbing up the ladder to the guard wall, she exchanged pleasantries with Holly, whom she was taking over for. After the walker invasion a few months before, it had been mostly quiet around the Safe Zone, as it had been renamed. With a pat on the arm, Holly left Talia to patrol as she headed home to rest. Walking a slow circuit, she watched for any signs of the living or the dead.

   Cars and spikes had been placed outside the walls, providing a buffer for incoming trouble, and the residents had begun digging a trench to further the divide. As she was making her third circuit, Rick, Michonne, Maggie, Glenn, Carol and Carl, most of Rick's original crew came pouring out of his house. In the midst was a man that she had never seen, wearing a leather trenchcoat and beanie, his long hair and beard obscuring most of his face.

   After conferring with Father Gabriel, Rick strode purposefully towards the ladder, climbing up quickly. She stepped over towards him, her gun at the ready. "Who the hell is that guy?" she asked as he surveyed the area outside the grounds.

   "Daryl and I ran into him yesterday. He stole our truck full of supplies."

   "I didn't hear that you brought supplies back," Talia said with surprise. They were getting low on quite a few necessities, and the two men had gone out with purpose the day before.

   "Well, that's a story for another day," Rick said crisply, anxious to get to the point. "What is important is that we brought him back last night and he made his way out of his locked cell. What's even more important is that he says he has a community. One we could possibly trade with."

   "Are you serious?"

   "As the grave," Rick replied with a hint of a smile. "I don't fully trust him, so we all need to be on point. If you see anyone, anyone at all, you're to shoot to kill. I don't want us to be caught with our pants around our ankles, so to speak."

   "Got it."

   "Gabriel will run things on the ground, and I need you to supervise on the wall. I know you were planning to go out later, but I really need you here," Rick said softly, knowing she wanted to do some more searching.

   "It's fine, Rick," she reassured him, hesitating slightly. "Just-if you see..."

   Rick placed his hand on her shoulder, and it was steady. "You have my word, if I see anyone that looks like you, it's a done deal."

   Talia gave him a tight smile. Rick was one of the few people that knew the full story of what happened to her. She had just told the others that they had been separated. He also knew that she just didn't want to find Gina. She wanted revenge.

   After a few more instructions, Rick climbed back down the ladder, making his way to their old RV, which was loaded up with their people and weapons. Her gun ready, she watched the vehicle roll towards the exit as Spencer, Deanna's son, opened it. As it moved slowly out of the community, she saw Daryl looking up at her. She tilted her head towards him as they passed through the walls, then resumed her watch.

When they were out of sight, she continued her patrol as a few more people joined her. Rick's son Carl, came up after a few hours, asking her if she needed anything. Having lost his eye in the chaos of the walker army, he was still working on his depth perception. Talia was fond of this boy, and she let him practice his shots when a lone walker came ambling down the dusty road towards their walls.

Other than a few stray biters, it was quiet. Talia tried not to get her hopes up, but she said a silent plea that Gina was in this strange new community called the Hilltop.


	8. Chapter 8

 

   Talia stood in line in front of Olivia's garage, waiting for her share of the rations that Rick had brought back from the Hilltop. However, the supplies had come with a price.

   The bearded man, now known as Jesus, had set up a meeting with the Hilltop leader named Gregory. The only way he would agree to a trade was if the Alexandrians would take out a group called the Saviors, led by a mysterious man named Negan.

   The entire town had been brought into the chapel for a meeting when the group had returned, and the situation had been explained. Daryl, Sasha, and Abraham had run into some of Negan's men during the walker horde and had nearly been killed. Jesus had told Rick and the group that Negan extorted food and supplies from the Hilltop, and in return would not kill them.

   Rick had presented the dilemma to the rest of the community and left it up to a group decision whether or not to take the deal. Jesus and one of the men who regularly met with the Saviors, Andy, had accompanied them back to provide as much information as they could. Though no one was entirely comfortable attacking another group, the only voice of dissent was Morgan.

   He was outvoted, and the meeting broke up with the understanding that Alexandria was to take out the Saviors in order for both communities to be safe. Talia made her way to the front of the chapel to speak with Rick about his visit to the Hilltop. Waiting for the crowd to disperse, he motioned for her to follow him out.

   Daryl and Michonne accompanied them as they walked in the direction of Rick's house. "I didn't see your sister," he told Talia as they walked side by side. "I knew there wasn't really a chance that she was there," she replied as she looked at the ground in front of her.

   When they reached the steps to his house, the four stopped, forming a loose circle. Looking at each of them, Talia spoke again. "From what Jesus told you, do these Saviors sound like the type of people to kidnap women?"

   "No one said anything about women being taken, but Jesus did mention that they killed a sixteen-year-old boy to demonstrate how serious they were about their rules being followed."

   "I'd like to be there when you take them out," Talia insisted as the three exchanged glances.

   "I don't think that would be a good idea," Michonne cautioned as Talia stared at her in disbelief.

   "Excuse me?" she asked, her hands balling up into fists. "I'm one of the best goddamn shots in this town."

   "We know that," Rick said placatingly, taking a step forward. "But you have an agenda, and we need to do this logically and methodically. We swear we will keep an eye out for your sister. We need you here, where you can keep things safe."

   "Whatever you say, boss," she muttered before turning around and walking away. She could hear Michonne calling after her, but she kept walking. Opening the door with one hand, she carried her rations into the kitchen and dumped them onto the counter. Talia undid her weapons belt, slamming on the table before walking into the mudroom and kicking off her boots.

   As she was putting her last bag of rice in the cupboard, she heard a knock on the door. Peering through the peephole, she grunted to herself as the opened the door. "Come in," she told Daryl crossly as she turned to walk back into the kitchen.

   Pointing to the nearest chair, she opened the fridge for a bottle of water, setting it on the table in front of him. Talia sat across from him, watching him warily.

   "I just came to see if ya were okay," he mumbled in his gravelly voice.

   "I'm fine," she told him.

   "I understand why you're upset," he began, but she cut him off.

   "I don't need a lecture, Daryl," she snapped.

   "I didn't come to lecture ya," he continued. "I just want ya to know that I kinda know how you feel. I lost my brother, too, for a while. And then I lost him for good."

   Talia's eyes softened slightly as she listened to him. They had never had more than a superficial conversation, even when they went out on long runs. He told her about how he met Rick's group, and some of the tough times together, including a run in with a man called the Governor. It was with that man that Daryl found his brother, and it was that same man that killed him.

   "I know ya want to just jump into action, but if you can trust anything, trust Rick. If he says he'll keep an eye out for your sister, he will. We've dealt with guys like this before."

   Talia nodded once as she chewed on the inside of her cheek. "I know people think it's crazy that I think she's still alive. But I just have a strong feeling she's out there somewhere. She's a survivor."

   "Like you," Daryl mused with a hint of a smile. She smiled back. "I survived with help," she told him.

   "And you'll get her back with help," he said, fiddling with the bottle cap that was laying on the table.

   "Thank you, Daryl," she replied, placing her hand over his. Daryl's hand clenched slightly, and she removed her hand. Clearing his throat, he looked up at her.

   "So how'd ya learn to shoot so well?" he asked.

   "My father made sure Gina and I were able to protect ourselves," she told him, reaching for her weapons belt. "My mother died when we were four, and my father was what you would call well off. He was very overprotective, and he insisted that we learn all sorts of self-defense, and sent us to a shooting range starting at age eighteen. He made sure I had a concealed carry permit," Talia said with a smile.

   "Sounds like a smart man," Daryl said with a genuine smile. She was surprised at how different he looked when he was not scowling. She had never noticed how blue his eyes were since he never looked at her directly for more than a few seconds.

   "He was a great guy," Talia said as Daryl looked back down at the bottle cap. "I have no doubt that he would have been one of the last people standing at the end of the world."

   Twisting the cap back on the bottle, Daryl stood up, the chair skidding slowly behind him. "I'll leave ya to your evening then," he said as he started towards the door. She followed behind him, and she stopped him with a hand to his arm as he moved to walk out. When he turned his head, she kissed him quickly on the cheek.

   "Thank you for checking on me," she said as his face got slightly ruddy.

   "'Night," he said, walking hurriedly out the door and down the steps. When he was out of sight, she shut the door, twisting the lock before going in to make a quick dinner.

 

The next morning, after waking to her bird alarm clock, Talia showered quickly, skipping breakfast as she headed to the wall to take watch. As she put her foot on the first rung, she heard Michonne calling her name. Turning around, she met Michonne halfway, wondering what was going on.

   "Hey," Michonne greeted her as Talia gave her a quick nod. "Can you come to the house? We want to get you up to speed."

   "I'm due for patrol," Talia replied, adjusting her belt.

   "Holly's going to take over for you. Come on with me."Michonne's stride was quick as she made her way back to her and Rick's house, with Talia close on her heels. When they entered the kitchen, she was surprised to see Maggie, Glenn, Daryl, Carol and Jesus, clustered around the kitchen with Rick and the other Hilltopper, studying a piece of paper. 

   Michonne's stride was quick as she made her way back to her and Rick's house, with Talia close on her heels. When they entered the kitchen, she was surprised to see Maggie, Glenn, Daryl, Carol and Jesus, clustered around the kitchen with Rick and the other Hilltopper, studying a piece of paper. 

   Coming to stand next to Daryl, he moved over slightly as her arm brushed his to make room for her. "We're going to make our move tonight," Rick announced as she looked at him with raised eyebrows. "They think that Andy is going to bring them Gregory, and in exchange, they're supposed to release Craig, one of the Hilltop residents. That's our way in."

   "That sounds like a plan, but why did you need me here?" Talia wondered aloud.

   "I'm having Holly pull a double so that you can take over tonight. I know you're the best shot we have," Rick said with an apologetic smile, "and I want you in charge when we're out. Just like last time, we need to be prepared for anything. This could get ugly very quickly."

  "Sure thing, boss," Talia said with a smile and shake of her head. The strategy meeting continued for another half hour before it broke apart. As Rick and Daryl continued discussions, Rosita entered, followed by Sasha and Abraham. The air was thick with tension between the three, with Rosita being Abraham's ex, and Talia said her goodbyes so that she could go coordinate with the patrol staff.

   About an hour later, she headed back to her house to get some rest for the upcoming night shift. When she was almost to her house, she noticed Daryl up ahead of her, walking towards Aaron's house. Calling out his name, he stopped and turned, waiting for her to catch up.

   "I just wanted to wish you good luck tonight," she said, extending her hand out. Hesitantly, he took her hand, after which she pulled him into a spontaneous hug. His arms were loose around her waist at first, but there was something so comforting about him that she continued to hold on. With a deep breath, she stepped back with a smile on her face. "Be careful," she told him in a low voice before turning and jogging back towards her house. He was still standing there watching her as she climbed the steps to her house.

   The group was gone when she finally emerged at dusk. After checking in with Gabriel, she took her place on point, her gun cocked and loaded. Someone had brought up some rations, and she ripped open a packet of old Pop Tarts with her teeth, gobbling them down as she walked.

   Her thoughts were with the men and women who had gone out to take on the Saviors. From was Jesus had told them, these people were brutal and efficient. The men that she and Gina had run into, were not. They operated by instinct alone, along with malevolence. Talia had her doubts that they were with this same group unless she and her sister hadn't dealt with the upper echelon of the Savior crew. She also didn't remember them ever mentioning anyone named Negan.

   As the night stretched on, she grew more and more restless, hoping that whatever was being done was quick and easy. Of course, nothing in this world was ever easy, but she could still hope.

   Over and over she walked until the sun came up, waiting for some sign of Rick and the group. But they didn't return until much later. And it didn't quite go as smoothly as everyone had hoped.


	9. Chapter 9

  
  
   The days after the kill mission were some of the worst that Talia had experienced since she arrived at Alexandria. That it had been considered a success was of little comfort to the residents. Maggie and Carol had been kidnapped by other Sanctuary members, and it was only due to their experience as fighters that they survived. 

   Given that Maggie was pregnant, she and Glenn had made the decision that she would stay inside the walls for safety. Carol, on the other hand, had come back shaken, and retreated from contact from most, save Daryl and Tobin. 

   Talia had only gone out one time on a search mission before being convinced by Daryl that it was not wise to go out alone until they were sure there was no more danger from the Saviors. She had reluctantly agreed, spending more time patrolling and training Alexandrians.

   She and Daryl had begun spending more time together. It was mostly just meals, and some guarding shifts together, but they fell into an easy pattern together. Some of the longtime residents were intimidated by the stoic man, but she found him to be thoughtful and gentle underneath the gruff exterior. It also didn't hurt that she found him attractive, something else that she hadn't experienced for a long time. 

   Talia had her fair share of lovers before the apocalypse, to be certain, but none had lasted for more than a year at the most. Growing up near the naval base with a defense contractor for a father, there was never a shortage of willing suitors. But they either couldn't hold her interest, or they ended up wanting a job with her father. So she enjoyed them for what they were, no worrying about the future, no expectations. 

   Obviously, Daryl was completely different from the men that she normally spent time with. She hadn't been around him long, but she found that she wanted to know more about him, about who he was. He was reticent at first, only offering bits of information, but as they fell into a sense of comfort with each other, he started to open up minutely. 

   Their rapport was platonic, but Talia harbored a hope that it would someday develop into more. She was in no rush at the moment, just happy to have a kindred spirit in the world, outside of her sister. The rest of the inexperienced Alexandrians were still on edge after the attack on the Saviors, but those with outside experience knew that life had to go on.

   Talia was walking towards the gate when Daryl approached her. 

   "Good morning," she told him with a smile as he hoisted his bag over his shoulder. 

   "Morning," he answered, squinting in the bright sun. 

   "Are you headed out on a trip?" she inquired as they walked together. 

   "Me an' Rosita are takin' Denise out. She knows where there's an apothecary is, and she wants to see if there's any herbs and medicines there."

   Talia looked at him with amusement. "That sounds...interesting."

   Daryl shrugged, a small smile playing on his lips. "At least I'm getting outta these walls for a while."

   "Rub it in, why don't you?" 

   "You're welcome to come if ya want," he said, adjusting the shoulder strap of the bag. 

   Shaking her head, she declined. "Thank you for the offer, but I'd better stay here. Some of the baby Alexandrians are on patrol today and I wouldn't feel comfortable not keeping an eye on them. But stay safe out there," she told him, touching his arm lightly before peeling off towards the ladder. 

   From her vantage point, she observed Eugene gesturing wildly to Abraham as they got into an older vehicle as well as Rosita, Daryl, and Denise pulling out in an old truck, which lurched slightly as Daryl put it into gear. 

   As she made her circuits, she took in the beauty of the day. It was pleasantly warm, but not oppressively so. Several people were tending to the gardens that had been planted, while others were practicing with various weapons. The hours went by quickly, and Talia heard the rumble of the old truck in mid-afternoon. 

   Walking over to the perch above the gate, there were no words to describe the horror she felt when she saw into the bed of the truck as it pulled into the parking area. Denise was lying with an arrow through her eye, and Eugene was propped up beside her, blood all over. 

   Talia wanted to climb down to assist, but Rick and several others came rushing over to assist. Helpless, she stood impotently as they hauled Eugene into the infirmary. As the door closed behind them, she turned her attention back to the area around the compound. Grabbing the binoculars that were sitting by the ladder, she scanned the tree for any sign of movement.

   The only thing she could see was a lone walker, making its way through the field. Focusing on the head through the scope, she let a bullet fly, which caused the walker's head to split in half, and it dropped to the ground. 

   "Talia!"

   She turned to see Rick coming up the ladder, his face lined with worry. "It was just a walker," she told him dully as she put the binoculars back to her eyes, continuing to scan.

   "What happened?" she asked as she handed the pair over to Rick, who had his hand out. Rick observed the area before speaking.

   "The Saviors killed Denise. The same guy that left Daryl stranded in the woods. Eugene's going to be fine." Short and to the point.

   "Well, I guess that answers any lingering questions we had about whether or not we got them all," Talia said as she rubbed the back of her neck. Seeing the look on Rick's face, she quickly apologized. "I didn't mean it the way it came out."

   "I know," he said with a sigh as he seemed to zone out while staring at the treeline, his hands on his hips. "Denise was a good person, and it's going to be tough to break it to Tara when she gets back."

   The two spoke for a few more moments until Rick climbed back down to help begin digging a grave for Denise. Talia continued her watch until Tobin came to take over, and she stopped at Denise's grave to pay her respects before heading to her house. 

   Losing people was always tough, especially the longer you knew them. Talia hadn't spent a lot of time with the doctor, but she seemed to be a genuinely nice person. And nice people were usually the first to die in this new reality. The more brutal of the human species had adapted much quicker to take over. Hell, even some of her own people were brutal, when they had to be.

   Debating whether or not to check on Daryl, she decided to wait a day or so to let him decompress from the day's somber events. Instead, she made a quick dinner of a can of corn and washed it down with some water. There was a knock on the door as she was putting her dishes away, and she shouted for whoever it was to come in.

   Closing the cupboard, she turned to see Daryl standing in her hallway. "Hey," she said softly as he stood stiffly. "Have a seat. Do you want something to eat?"

   Shaking his head, he pulled out the end chair, sitting down heavily. Talia grabbed another bottle of water that she kept in the fridge, walking it over to the table and setting it in front of Daryl. Pulling out the chair to the right of him, she sat quietly as he took a long drink. He looked worn down.

   "Denise had a twin, too," he said in a low voice, gauging her reaction. "Dennis."

   "I had no idea," Talia confessed. "I'm afraid I didn't know Denise all that well."

   "She told me that I reminded her of him," he said, his voice as steady as his hands. "One minute she was talkin', and the next she was on the ground."

   Talia jumped slightly as Daryl slammed his fist onto the table. "It was that fuckin' Dwight. I shoulda killed him the day I met him."

   "You couldn't have known that he would go back to the Saviors," Talia replied as he glared at the wall. "And you don't seem like the type of guy to just kill innocent people for the hell of it."

   Daryl turned his glare towards her, but she was unperturbed. "You don't hardly know me at all."

   "Then tell me," she said simply, her brown eyes steady on his blue ones. Talia wasn't surprised to see his dim slightly as he retreated back into his shell. Every bit of information she gleaned from him took work, like fishing with no bait. But she was patient.

   Daryl blinked first, breaking eye contact and draining the rest of his water. "I should go."

   "Why? You came here for a reason I assume. That reason being that you don't want to be alone right now." Talia picked the empty bottle up, refilling it from the faucet before handing it back to him. "We don't have to talk. We can just sit here together, not alone."

   Daryl's eyebrows knitted together as he ruminated on her words. With a deep breath, he stood, sliding the water over towards her. "I wouldn't be good company for ya. But thanks for the offer."

   With a sharp nod, she stood as well, facing him. Stepping forward, she pulled him into a hug, her arms locking around his neck as she rested her chin on his shoulder. "I'm sorry you had to go through that today," she murmured as his hands wrapped around her waist. It felt so good to have human contact that Talia didn't let go when she felt his arms drop.

   "Wait," she said in a shaky voice. "I just...it's been a long time since anyone's held me." A fraction of a second later, she felt his warm arms back along her waist and her eyes closed involuntarily. And that's when it happened. Talia turned her head to kiss his cheek, and he turned his head, maybe to speak, and their lips met.

   She hadn't meant for it to happen, but it felt so good, so good, that she leaned into it as she felt his hands tighten on her body. Lips, soft and warm, kissed back as her heart started to speed up. Breathing deeply, Talia could smell him, taste him on her tongue, and she very nearly slipped completely under, if not for one thing.

   "Wait," she said, breaking apart from him, though she didn't drop her arms from his neck. She could feel his warm breath on her lips as Daryl brought himself under control.

   They were nearly eye to eye, and Talia touched her forehead to his. "That was nice. _This_ is nice," she whispered as she closed her eyes, her fingers running back and forth on his neck.

   "But?"

   "I don't want this to be a reaction to what happened today. I know you've been through a lot."

   Daryl released her, and Talia opened her eyes as she dropped her hands, and he took a step back. "You're right," he told her, inhaling deeply. 

   She watched him warily as she spoke. "About which part? That this is just a reaction, or that you've been through hell today?"

   "Probably both." Daryl's voice was even as she bit her lip, trying to swallow the lump in her throat. Like that, she fully came back to herself.

   "Right. Well, you should probably go."

   Turning her back on him, Talia walked curtly towards the door, opening it as she stared at the wall. He walked past her muttering a sorry and shaking his head as he walked out. She was tempted to slam the door out of embarrassment, but closed it gently, twisting the lock as Daryl's form retreated from her through the frosted glass.

   Totally defeated, she climbed the steps to her room, kicking off her boots and throwing herself facedown on the bed. Grabbing for a pillow, she set it on her head, not to smother herself, but to smother her thoughts. It hurt to be rebuffed, and it hurt to have it done when she thought Daryl felt differently. It wasn't that Talia hadn't been rejected before. She had. 

   However, she had thought that he was interested in her as well. She had obviously misread the situation completely. No matter what, she didn't want to lose his friendship so she decided that she would go to him in the morning and apologize for putting him in such an awkward position.

   But she never got the chance. Daryl left early the next morning, bent on revenge, with Glenn, Rosita, and Michonne hot on his heels.


	10. Chapter 10

  
  
   Talia walked along the wall, looking for something, anything to shoot. She had spent all of her waking hours, which were many, watching for the Saviors, praying for a moment in which to take out Negan.

   She wanted him to die, even if it was with her own final breath. Every time she looked at Rick, all she could see was the blood spattered on his face and the haunted look in his eyes when they returned that day. Without Glenn. Without Abraham. Without Maggie and Sasha. 

   Without Daryl.

   Maggie and Sasha were safe at the Hilltop, being protected by Jesus. Glenn and Abraham were buried there, but Daryl, he was being held by Negan, a hostage for their compliance with his rules. To make things worse, Carol and Morgan were both gone, the latter looking for the former who had taken off and left only a note that she didn't want to be found.

   The group was broken, and some of their strongest fighters were dead or gone, by their own hand or someone else's. Morale was almost non-existent, but still they carried on. Instead of just taking care of themselves, they were now under the added pressure of providing for Negan and his Saviors. 

   As she made her way around to the gates, Talia looked down to see Rosita and Spencer waiting to leave, conversing with Eugene. Rosita had barely spoken with anyone since the encounter with Negan. She had been next to Abraham when he was beaten to death by Negan and it had obviously scarred her. It had scarred everyone, especially having to watch Glenn perish, knowing that he would never see his child. 

   Her attention was diverted as she heard the rumble of vehicles approaching in the distance. She wasn't the only one who could hear it, as Spencer and Rosita got out of the car, making their way to the gate. Talia watched in morbid fascination as a large volley of vehicles made their slow procession towards Alexandria. There were pickup trucks, delivery trucks, cars and motorcycles, all loaded down with Saviors.

   Pulling down the brim of her baseball cap, Talia focused as the door of the first truck opened and a man stepped out. He was tall, with black hair and a motorcycle jacket. He had a salt-and-pepper beard and he was strikingly good looking. Hoisting a baseball bat with barbed wire wrapped around it, he strolled over to the gate, slamming the bat on the metal bars, announcing his arrival.

   For one brief moment, her fingers clenched around her rifle as she pondered just shooting him between the eyes. Talia's arm started to raise until she remembered Rick telling her that Daryl struck Negan that fateful night, causing him to kill Glenn. She didn't want anyone else to die for her decisions, so she let her arm drop back down to her side.

   The gate opened, and Spencer stepped back as Rick came swiftly towards the entrance. She couldn't hear their exchange, so she scanned the crowd of Saviors until her heart plunged into her feet. Surrounded by the group on all sides was Daryl. His eyes were flitting to and from Rick then back down to the ground. He had all the mannerisms of a cowed dog, beaten into submission.

   "Hey, you!"

   Talia was broken out of her trance by a shout below her. Peering down into Alexandria, she saw a large man squinting up at her. 

   "I'm going to need you to toss down your weapons, girlie. Boss has orders."

   Biting back a response, she leaned forward slightly, dropping her rifle into his waiting hands. He motioned for her to come down as Negan set off through the town with Rick just behind him. The other Saviors took off like army ants, spreading through Alexandria with purpose. 

   "I'm also gonna need you to climb down from there, so I can make sure you don't have any other guns up there, sweetheart."

   Turning around, Talia climbed down the ladder and attempted to walk around the man who loomed over her. He placed a meaty hand on her arm, stopping her in her tracks as she looked up at him stone-faced. 

   "You should smile, sweetheart. It could be a whole lot worse."

   She smiled with her lips only, her eyes still hard until he let go of her arm. The man made his way up the ladder, hefting himself up onto the landing as Talia prayed for him to slip and fall off and break his neck. As he began walking along, she started to walk away, unsure of where to go. 

   Keeping her eyes peeled for Daryl, she wasn't watching where she was walking, Talia bumped into someone in front of her. 

   "Watch where the fuck you're-"

   As she turned forward, the man stopped mid-speech, his eyes wide. He was blonde, about her age, and had large scars crisscrossing the side of her face. He was looking at her strangely, and she backed up slightly.

   "Sorry," she mumbled as she veered around him. When she was about ten feet past him, Talia turned around to find him still watching her. Rubbing the back of her neck, she quickened her pace slightly until she got to her house. Two men and a woman were carrying out her mattress.

    Anger began bubbling its way through her body as she worked to calm herself. The three smirked at her as they carted it towards the front of Alexandria. Within minutes, more people came out of the surrounding houses, all of them carrying mattresses.

   Talia pulled her hat off roughly, running her hand through her hair before tucking it back up under her ballcap. Turning in a circle, she caught sight of Daryl walking in her direction holding one end of a mattress as sweat poured down his face. He was dressed in dirty clothes with an "A" drawn on the shirt. Their eyes met briefly before he turned them towards the ground.

   Rooted to the spot, she could only watch as he passed by her. She may have imagined it, but she could swear that she felt his hand brush hers quickly. Blinking back tears, Talia stood there until she heard Rick calling her name. 

   With a deep breath, she started towards the gates where a group of Saviors and Alexandrians were gathered. Rick and Negan were standing shoulder to shoulder, both staring at her. The skin on her chest began to prickle as this Negan looked her up and down, his eyes unreadable as a smile played on his lips. He held up his hand as she got closer, using his index finger to beckon her forward.

   "Come closer, beautiful. I won't bite."

   Talia stopped just short of him, but her eyes were focused on Rick in confusion. "I'm over here, doll."

   Tearing her gaze away, she looked up into the face of the man who killed her friends and currently had Daryl in his possession. It took effort, but she pushed the anger and fear deep down, trying to make her face as smooth as possible. Talia had no intention of letting this man know how much he scared her.

   "We haven't been properly introduced," he said, holding his hand out. "I'm Negan."

   Reluctantly, she took his hand, shaking in once before releasing it. But Negan didn't let go of her. Instead, he pulled her closer until she was staring up at him. With his other hand, he reached up and gently pulled her hat off, letting her dark hair tumble out around her face before handing the cap to her. 

   "My, you sure are fucking beautiful. Dwight," he said as the blonde stepped forward, his eyes on the ground. "Don't you think this young woman is a sight for sore eyes?"

   "Yes, Negan," the man Dwight replied, with perhaps a hint of guilt.

   "Now, I told you my name. What's yours sweetheart?"

   "Well it's not sweetheart," she replied as his hand tightened around hers. His eyes narrowed and she stood up straighter. "It's Talia."

   Almost immediately, his face cleared and he dropped her hand. "That is a beautiful name. Talia. I like it." As he spoke, his eyes continued to roam over her, stopping just above her heart. She was wearing a tank top, and her scar was visible along the inside of her strap.

   Slowly, Negan reached out, pushing the strap out of the way to inspect it. Fighting the urge to slap his hand away, she looked at Rick helplessly as his jaw tightened. She noticed that he was holding the bat, and his arm tensed up as the bat lifted up slightly from where it was resting on the ground.

   "That is quite a war wound, Talia," Negan said in a soft voice as their eyes met again. "I have a feeling that you are one tough fucking customer."

   Talia's lips flattened into a fine line as she watched him. He smiled again, revealing perfectly white and straight teeth. Her eyebrows raised as she waited for him to get to the point. His smile faded as he let out an audible sigh. "I think that if I met a woman like you in completely different circumstances, Talia, that you'd really like me. Like, really fucking like me. In fact, I'm damn sure a woman like you would."

   Her eyebrows knitted together as she tried to figure this man out. He thought himself charming, obviously. But there was something underneath his smile that was needling itself into her brain. While she was observing him, Rick cleared his throat, drawing Negan's attention.

   "You've seen everyone in our community now. You have all our guns. Are you done?"

   Negan leaned over, nearly nose to nose with Rick. "We're done when I fucking say we're done."

   After a fraught moment, Rick averted his eyes, and Negan smiled, clearly pleased. "Now we're done."

   Facing the crowd, Negan held out his hand for the bat. "Attention people of Alexandria," he shouted in a booming voice. "You did well today. And I for one, am very proud of you. Now, don't let that go to your fucking heads, because I'll be back soon, and you better have some mighty fucking impressive shit for me to take. Now, run along and make the world a better place."

   With a wave of his hand, people started to scatter, including the Saviors, who started towards their vehicles. Talia scanned the crowd to see Daryl one more time until she was startled by a voice right by her ear. 

   "I'll be seeing you, Talia."

   Negan bowed in her direction before walking towards the exit, the bat swing back and forth as Dwight paced himself behind him. 

   Michonne stepped up, placing her hand on Talia's shoulder. "Are you all right?" she murmured as they watched the gates close. 

   "I'll be better when we get Daryl back. And when we kill that asshole."


	11. Chapter 11

  
  
  
**Gina**

 

   "Gina?"

   She turned to look at him with wide eyes. "It's impossible," she whispered. "I watched her die. I watched them shoot her."

   "Your sister was shot, for sure," Negan told her as he sat next to her on his bed. "She has a large scar on her chest."

   Gina closed her eyes as her head dropped onto her chest. She could see it clearly. Talia had taken off running after she jumped out of the truck. Her body had rocked forward when the bullet hit her, and Gina had stared in horror as her sister crumpled by the side of the road, her body tumbling down the hill that lined the edge. As the truck continued to drive, Gina had gone into shock, watching the spot where her sister fell until it became just a dot on the horizon.  

   "I need to see her, Negan. I need to see Talia."

   "No."

   Her eyes opened as her head snapped up. "What?" she asked in disbelief.

   "I can't let you see her. At least not yet. Not until I'm sure Alexandria is under control."

   "You can't be fucking serious. She's my sister!"

   Negan stood up, pacing the floor as she struggled to comprehend the absurdity of the conversation. "I am fucking serious. You're not setting foot inside of that compound until I say so. Unless," he stopped just in front of her. "Unless you want me to bring her here."

   With both hands, Gina pushed herself off of the bed to look him in the eye. "Absolutely not. I don't want her anywhere near this place."

   Leering down at her, Negan gave her a chilly smile. "Are you afraid she'll give you a little competition?"

   Gina's hand shot out, smacking him so hard that his head rocked back. "Don't you fucking touch her! You stay away from her!" Her fists flew as she rained blows on him until he caught her by the wrists, pushing her up against the wall and pinning her arms over her head as she struggled.

   "It was a fucking joke! Calm the fuck down," he swore at her as she fought to free her hands. Looking up into Negan's eyes, she could see that he was furious with her and she slowly grew still, though her breathing remained heavy. "I'm going to let you go, but you better fucking temper your emotions," he warned her. "I know you've had quite a shock, but this is the wrong fucking way to get what you want."

   Gina nodded her head that she understood, waiting for him to free her. His eyes softened as he released one arm. That was all she needed.

   Twisting the arm holding her, she swept his legs out from under him, causing Negan to hit the floor in a heap. Before he could get his bearings, she was straddling his chest, his arms pinned under her knees and her forearm resting on his neck.

   "Have you lost your fucking mind?" he bellowed at her as she looked down on him. Gina could feel his muscles start to tense up, and she knew he was going to try to knock her off, so she twisted backward, reaching between his legs and gripping him securely.

   "Shhh, baby," she told him in a silky voice as her hands tightened around him slightly. "I needed to get your attention. I needed you to hear me, to really understand what I'm saying. Do I have your attention now?"

   His normally brown eyes were as black as coal as he glared up at her. "How in the fuck did you do this?"

   Gina leaned down a little closer, but out of range of his forehead in case he tried to headbutt her. "You've never tried to get to know me, Negan. The real me. If you'd ever even attempted a decent conversation with me, I would have told you that I'd taken defense training since I was sixteen. I also would have told you that I have taken shooting lessons since I was eighteen."

   Negan's eyebrows went up slightly as she spoke. "But you've never wanted to get to know me. You only want some blow-up doll to sit around all day and wait for you to pick her. You see," she murmured as she licked her lips, "you may not have learned anything about me, but I've gotten to know you. A little bit," she reasoned as her hand began stroking him through his pants.

   His nostrils flared as her hands moved back and forth, and she could feel him getting hard. "Alexandria is under your control," she reassured him, "and that's fine with me. I just want to make sure that nothing happens to my sister. You see," she said softly as she leaned in to kiss the red spot on his cheek where she hit him, "you've given me a gift today. Thanks to you, I now know she's alive and relatively safe. That's all I want for her."

   "This is not the way to appeal to my good side," he snapped, but his breath was speeding up, betraying him. "Probably not," she admitted, her hand continuing to move, "but right now, I hold your favorite weapon in my hand."

   His mouth dropped in surprise as she smiled at him. "Now, I know most people think your bat is your favorite weapon," she continued, "but this is what you use to destroy people. This," she said, gripping him tighter for emphasis, "is what causes you to engage in dick swinging contests with every man you meet. This is what brings you into that room every night, wanting us to compete for your attention."

   Her hand moved to unbutton his pants as she leaned down, licking his top lip as he let out a moan, halfway between pure anger and unabashed arousal. "I'll be your little blow-up-doll if that's all you really want," she whispered into his mouth as she slid her hand into his pants, finally getting skin to skin contact. Her thumb swiped the head and she felt its wetness. "And you can be a good husband to me, and not do anything to my sister."

   Gina began massaging him again as she watched him. "What do you think?"

   "I'm too fucking angry to think," he told her as her strokes got faster.

   "Are you too fucking angry to fuck?" she asked as her nails lightly traced along his staff. His neck pushed further into her forearm as he lifted his head, kissing her and forcing her mouth open with his tongue. She moaned softly as she finally removed her arm from his neck. Gina didn't resist at all as he flipped her over, and she looked up at him with half closed eyes as he pulled her panties down roughly, inserting two fingers inside her as her breath caught in her throat. She could feel them curl up inside her as he hit her sweet spot. Just as she was getting close, he removed them, causing her to swear under her breath.

   Pushing him away by the chest, she sat up as he started to take his pants off. When he was fully unclothed, she pushed Negan towards the bed, and he sat on the edge.

   Bracing herself on his shoulder, she straddled him as he used one hand to guide himself into her. Once he was deep inside, his hands found the zipper on the back of her dress, undoing it quickly as she slid her arms out.

   Gina started moving up and down as she felt Negan unsnap her bra, freeing her breasts. His mouth immediately went to them, and he began to roughly tease her nipples, almost painfully. Her hands went to his hair, pulling at it strongly and yanking his head upwards towards her mouth. Their tongues moved back and forth as she began to pick up the pace, her hips undulating as she felt herself getting closer to the finish.

   She felt him tense up just before her, and between panting breaths, she finally spoke again. "If anything happens to her, I'll kill you."

   "Fuck," he growled as he exploded inside her, and she climaxed in a powerful spasm, her fingers digging into his shoulders as she felt a release that was more powerful. The pain of losing her sister was gone. She was alive and she was safe, for now.

   When her breathing slowed, she kissed Negan softly on the lips before detaching herself from him. Looking around for her underthings, she spied them in the corner of the room. After dressing herself again she flipped her head over, tousling her hair before straightening up and smoothing it down. When Gina turned around, she saw that Negan was zipping up his pants and watching her with an indecipherable look.

   Reaching down, she picked up his shirt off the floor and walked it over to him. As he slipped it over his head, she ran her hands down his abdomen before he covered it up with the material.

   "I'm sorry for hitting you," Gina said in a soft voice as she ran her thumb along his cheek, which was already starting to bruise.

   Negan pulled her hand from his face, linking his fingers through hers. "If you ever pull a fucking stunt like this again, you may find yourself down in a cell. Do we have an understanding?"

   "Yes," she replied, squeezing his hand. "Do _we_ have an understanding as well?"

   He nodded once as she tilted up her face to him. Negan let go of her hand and curled his fingers into her hair as he leaned down to kiss her. It was almost chaste.

   "I'll let you get back to work," she murmured as he let her go. "And I'll patiently wait for your approval to see Talia," she said as she walked out of his room, closing the door softly behind her.

   Sherry was coming out of the lounge as she made her way towards her room, and Gina motioned for her to follow as they walked down the hall. Opening her door, she ushered Sherry into the room, closing the door firmly behind them.

   "What the hell is going on?" Sherry asked in a rushed cadence. "Why did he summon you to his room?"

   Gina sat down shakily on the bed, the adrenaline starting to ebb away. "They went to Alexandria today," she began as Sherry started to interrupt, but Gina held up her hand. "My sister is there."  
  
"I thought your sister died when you were taken?" Sherry asked in a shocked voice.

   "So did I," Gina replied, her voice starting to quake. "I watched her get shot and fall down a hill. She survived somehow. Negan told me that she has a large scar above her heart."

   "And she ended up at Alexandria?"

   "Apparently, yes. My guess would be that they found her, maybe one of the people to goes out scavenging."

   Sherry shook her head as if she was trying to unjumble the bits of information she had received. "So is he going to bring her here?"

   "No," Gina told her vehemently. "She needs to stay in Alexandria where she's safer. I don't want her here. Would you?" she asked, looking Sherry in the eye, who shook her head slowly back and forth again.

   "But if Negan wants her, he'll just take her."

   "Well, Negan and I had a talk, and he agreed to leave her there and not hurt her."

   Sherry snorted derisively. "And you believe him?"

   Gina nodded, surprising herself. "I do. For now. We had a talk."

   Seeing the red marks on Gina's chest, Sherry's eyes narrowed. "You had to pimp yourself for protection for your sister." It was a statement and not a question.

   "Sherry," Gina said with a sigh. "I did not have sex with him to barter for my sister. I had sex because I was turned on at the moment. A rare moment of power for me, and that's all I'll say about it."  
  
   "I'm not judging. Lord knows I've done plenty of questionable things, but I hope you're not falling for him. He's a sociopath, and everything he does is to benefit him. I just don't want you to get hurt."

   Gina turned to look at Sherry, resting her head on her hands as she propped her elbows on her knees. "I'm not stupid, Sher. I know what kind of man he is. I think I understand him better than he understands himself sometimes. And I think, I hope, that there is a genuine human being underneath all that bravado."

   The two chatted for a few more moments before Gina let out a big yawn. It had been a majorly emotional day and she was abruptly exhausted. Giving Sherry a hug, she shut the door and crawled into bed, not even bothering to change her clothes.

   As long as Talia was okay, Gina could wait to see her. As thoughts of reuniting started to swarm her head, she began to laugh and cry at the same time.

   Taking a deep breath, she pulled the covers up, thinking of what she just did with Negan.

  _I am the monkey. I do the dance so that the others don't have to._

_Or maybe I do it because I like it._


	12. Chapter 12

  
   Gina sat down in the grass outside the gardens as she removed her boots. Sitting next to her were a brand new pair of running shoes that she had snapped up when she saw them in the commissary. It was just after dawn, and she had come out in the dark to work on the weeds. It was cool this morning, and the sun was just coming out in the east, a bright orange ball low in the sky.

   Pulling on the shoes, she laced them up tight, anticipating the chance to really run for a bit, to let her legs stretch and return to their strong form. She had always loved running and spent many days on the beach growing up taking in the coastline.

   As she stood up, Gina dropped her gardening supplies into the buckets and bent over, letting her muscles warm up before starting off at a low jog. As she pressed play on her iPod, she thought of Negan.

   He had chosen her again the night before, much to the rising irritation of Lexi and Leticia. Sherry, of course, was relieved, but she sensed some upcoming competition with the other two girls. The problem was, she had no interest in competing with them. It wasn't a game, it was just life. She never felt like she was winning anything when she was with him. It just was.

   After they had engaged in some intense sex, Negan had done something he had never done with her before. He had lain on his back, pulling her onto his chest. He spent time with her before, but never in a quietly intimate moment like that. It had been noiseless as he ran his fingers softly up and down her arm, and she traced a scar just below his collarbone.

   Negan had been the one to break the silence. "What are you thinking about, doll? Your sister?"

   Gina's eyes were closed, in a rare moment of comfort with him as she replied. "I was thinking about you, actually."

   She could hear the smile in his voice even though she wasn't looking at his face. "Thinking about what we just did by chance?"

   "No, asshole. I was thinking about what brought you here. Why you ended up running a place like this, instead of a place like the Hilltop or Alexandria."

   "Hmmm." His fingers stopped their path up and down her arm, and she heard the reserve in that one utterance. "This should be interesting."

   Gina adjusted herself slightly as her nails continued to swirl around his chest. "You asked," she replied softly.

   "Consider me intrigued, doll."

   She kept her eyes closed as she spoke, picturing him in her mind. "My theory is that you lost something. Something important to you, or someone. It was your one thing, the only thing that mattered to you. And since you can't have that one thing, you now want everything."

   Gina felt cooler air along her back as his arm dropped from her side and she opened her eyes, though she didn't look up at him. It wasn't that she was afraid of his reaction, she just wasn't sure if she wanted to know if she was right or wrong.

   Feeling his side start to lift up, she shifted, rolling over to the other side as he leaned over and kissed her shoulder. "I've gotta go," he told her as she felt the bed shift. "I'm sure," she murmured, too softly for him to hear. She had tossed and turned all night before finally getting up to go out to the garden.

   Now, she was picking up the pace as her legs began to loosen up, weaving in and out of the Sanctuary residents that were streaming out of the compound to start their day.

   As her ponytail bounced against the back of her neck, she noticed a few of the residents watching her, some of the men with lust, some of the women with resentment, and some with just plain envy. She knew they were jealous that she didn't have to work for her spot like they did, but she wondered if they'd really be so resentful if they spent any time in her position.

   As she rounded the corner to the front entrance for the second time, she saw Negan up ahead of her directing his men for the day. As she approached, he caught sight of her and he very nearly smiled before rearranging his face into leader mode. He beckoned her over as she pulled out her earphones. "Good morning," she said pleasantly as she rounded up in front of him, bouncing from foot to foot as he looked her up and down.

   With a nod of his head, he motioned for her to follow him towards the corner of the yard, away from his men. Once they were alone, he bent his head down towards her ear. "What the hell are you doing out here dressed like that?"

   "I'm in shorts and a tank top. It's hardly obscene," she told him with a grin. "I can't very well run in a dress, now can I?"

   "You're distracting my men," he admonished her sternly, though there was a twinkle in his eye.

   "Then you must need to train them better," she answered with a smirk as she continued to bounce up and down. "Besides, I thought the whole point of having wives was to show them what they're missing."

   "Will you please quit bouncing?" he asked, running his hand down his face. "You're distracting me."

   "Well then, you must need some training as well." She stopped finally as she grabbed her right ankle, pulling it up behind her to stretch her quads. She did the same with her left as Negan ran his hand down her chest, which was covered in perspiration.

   "Get your ass back inside. Please."

   "Let me go around once more, and I'll head back in. I promise." She took a step forward so that they were only inches apart. "Would it ruin your badass rep if I kissed you goodbye?"

   "Absolutely."

   Licking her lips, she put the earphones back in as she turned to leave. "Your loss," she threw over her shoulder as she began to run again. When Gina made it around the factory again, he was gone. Walking back into the Sanctuary, she dipped into the breakfast line for a piece of bread before she went back to the stairwell.

   Instead of going up, she went down. She had only been to the bottom floor once, and that was to identify one of the men who had taken her. Since then, she had never ever felt the need to go back. But now, there was a man on this floor who knew her sister.

   As she wandered along the hallways, she very nearly got herself lost. It was only when she saw Dwight at the end of a long gray hallway that she figured she had found the right spot. If Dwight was down here, it was at Negan's behest. As she approached him, he stood up from the chair that was placed to the right of the metal door.

   He nodded at her as she handed him the freshly baked bread. "I heard you were the one who noticed my sister first," she said in a low voice, glancing quickly at the only other Savior in the hall, who was about twenty feet away.

   "I did," he confirmed as he took a bite, chewing it slowly. "I need to see him, Dwight," she told him as he rolled his eyes.

   "You know I can't," he told her as she glanced down the hall again.

   "I'm not going to hurt him and I'm not going to set him free," she argued as the Savior started to head their way. "He knows my sister, and I just want to ask him a few questions." He eyes had started to glaze over with unshed tears as she looked at him. "This is the closest I've been to her since I watched her get shot. You know me. Have I ever ratted you out?"

   Gina watched his Adam's apple bob up and down as he swallowed several times. "You know?" he asked in a strangled voice. "She's my friend, Dwight. Of course I know."

   She waited, holding her breath as he looked up at the ceiling, debating what to do. As the Savior reached them, Dwight ordered the man to do a sweep of the furthest hallway and Gina let out her breath in a slow exhale.

   When the man had rounded the corner, Dwight fished a keyring out of his pocket, inserting in the lock with a click. As the door swung open, she peered in. Sitting on the ground was a filthy man, with straggly brown hair that hung in his face. His clothes were covered in grime, and his feet were bare and dirty. He squinted up at her, clearly not used to seeing much daylight. When he spoke, his voice was dry and cracked.

   "Talia?" The word was loaded with fear and disbelief and hope.

   Stepping in, she knelt down, just out of reach from him as she tried not to cry again. "My name is Gina," she told him in a reassuring voice. "I'm Talia's sister."

   It took a moment for her words to reach his ears it seemed. "You're here?"

   "I'm here," she answered.

   "They kidnapped you? These were the people who kidnapped you?" His voice was slightly sharper as he tried to put the events together.

   Gina shook her head. "No, the Saviors rescued me. They took care of the men who took us, and they brought me back here. They got me medical attention, and I've been here ever since."

   The man, Daryl, still seemed suspicious. "Talia's been looking for you ever since ya got separated." Gina's hands clasped together as she took in his words.

   "I thought she was dead. I watched her get shot." Her voice had started to shake while he watched her silently. "Is she- is she okay? Is she happy?"

   "She'll be happier when she finds out you're alive. Less happy when she finds out you're with the people who killed her friends."

   Gina sat back as if she'd been slapped. "You killed his men," she argued as his face became stony.

   "And his men tried to kill us before that."

   Her eyes closed as she started to feel nauseous. "He promised me that nothing will happen to Talia. He promised me," she said, more to herself than Daryl.

   "But it's open season on the rest of us?" His voice was bitter as her eyes reopened.

   "Just do what he says," she told him as she got to her feet. "Just do what he tells you, and no one has to die. I have to go. I'm going to see Talia as soon as it's safe."

   Before he could reply, she turned and started down the hall, her emotions all over the place. Daryl's words had shaken her to her core. It was easy to think of these people as just nameless nobodies. It was less easy now that she knew that Negan's actions were directly hurting people that her sister had come to care about.

   Gina walked back to the steps on autopilot, almost unaware of how she got to the top floor. When she got back to her room, she showered quickly, dressing in a nightgown as she went back to bed, completely devoid of energy.  
  
The next thing she knew, Sherry was shaking her awake, telling her that it was time to go to the lounge. Gina pulled the covers over her head, refusing to get up. She told Sherry to tell Negan that she was sick. After a moment, she heard the door close, and she slipped back into a black dreamless sleep.

   "Gina?"

   It was Sherry again. "I told you I'm sick, Sher."

   "Please get up."

   Gina could hear the tears in her voice, and she opened her eyes, rolling over to face Sherry. "What happened?" she asked in a dull voice.

   "Some kid from Alexandria snuck in through one of the trucks. He killed a couple guys," she said as Gina sat up, her eyes wide.

   "Did Negan hurt the kid?" Gina asked as Sherry shook her head. "He just left to take him back to Alexandria. I can't do this anymore, Gina. I can't. He just keeps pushing me, and punishing Dwight, and I can't take it anymore."

   "What did he do?"

   "He forced Dwight to stand there while he kissed me, running his hands all over me," Sherry told her, shivering slightly. Gina put her hand to her forehead, disgusted on Sherry's behalf.

   "Why does he act like such an asshole?" she wondered aloud.

   "Listen," Sherry stated, taking Gina by the shoulders, "I have to get out of here. I just can't live like this anymore. When I see a chance I'm taking it. Come with me."

   "I can't," Gina told her sadly. "My sister is in Alexandria, and I don't know what he'd do if he found out I was gone. I have to think about her." Pulling Sherry's hands into her own, she looked her only friend in the eye. "You do what you have to do, and I will never say a word. I'll take it to my grave, I promise you."

   Giving Gina a quick hug, Sherry stood, her face clearing. Gina knew that this day was a long time coming. "Take care of yourself, Gina," she said quietly as she smiled through her tears.

   "Don't worry about me, Sher. I love you."

   Gina sat staring at the wall for a long time after Sherry left. Everything was coming apart around her, and all she wanted to do was bury her head under the covers. So she did.


	13. Chapter 13

**Talia**

  
   Talia heard the now familiar sound of Savior trucks before she saw them. Whistling down to Eugene, she reached for her gun before she remembered she no longer had one. No one in Alexandria did, thanks to Negan. Hustling towards the ladder, she climbed down swiftly as Tobin opened the gate, allowing three trucks to come rolling through.

   She stopped short when the door opened and Negan jumped out, followed by Carl. Eugene let out a gasp as Negan approached them, an angry smile on his face.

   "Good afternoon, beautiful," he called out as he winked at her. "Bald guy with no name," he muttered at Tobin as he walked past her. "Where's Rick? He and I need to have a little fucking chat."

   "He's out looking for supplies. For you."

   Negan stopped abruptly, waiting for Carl to catch up as his men set off through the town, opening doors and entering without preamble. "Come on, kid. It's time you showed me how the other half lives," he said with a chuckle. "Since you're standing guard, sweetheart, you be sure to let your leader know I'm here as soon as he gets back, alright?"

   Talia nodded stiffly as Negan set off down the street. Carl refused to meet her gaze as he trotted after the bat-wielding madman. Taking a deep cleansing breath, Talia pulled herself back up the ladder, pacing the walkway as she hoped fervently that Rick and Aaron would return soon. Michonne had taken off on her own, and no one in Alexandria had even been aware that Carl was missing. Talia had assumed that he was with his sister Judith, who was currently in Olivia's care.

   With a sinking feeling in her gut, she realized that the Grimes house was probably exactly where Negan was headed, and she debated whether or not to head there. After weighing the pros and cons she decided to stay where she was. Talia didn't want to risk angering Negan and end up with a bat to the head. No, she wanted to confront him with a gun in her hand, when she knew she wouldn't miss.

   The seconds turned into minutes, which then stretched into hours until she finally heard the sound of more approaching vehicles. When they got closer, she saw that it was Rosita and Eugene in one car and Spencer in the other. Before she could warn them, Spencer whistled for the gate to open, and she could see the dawning realization on each face as they realized that they had visitors. Rosita's face hardened as they walked into Alexandria, and when she glanced up at Talia, she shot Rosita a warning look.

   Eugene moved at his typical slow pace, taking in all of the commotion that was occurring inside the walls. Talia's eyes narrowed as Spencer drove his car into the bay, opening the trunk and talking jovially with the Saviors as he handed over whatever he had managed to find out on the road. She'd never cared for Spencer since she arrived. To her, he seemed like an overgrown frat boy, used to his mom and dad doing everything for him. She knew that he had openly complained about Rick's decisions, but had never once stepped up himself to offer any solutions.

   As she continued to patrol, people began migrating towards the back of Alexandria. She wasn't high enough to see where they were going, but some were moving at a pretty quick pace. She noticed Rosita stalking towards the same direction, and she hustled down from the ladder, with every intention of following her, until Rick and Aaron pulled up in their white truck, where they were immediately intercepted by a handful of Saviors.

   Standing off to the side, she locked eyes with Rick as the Saviors started pawing through the containers that were being pulled from the truck. As the large Savior that took her gun on the first visit pulled out a note from one of the totes, Talia watched in horror as he started beating on Aaron. As she attempted to step in, one of the female Saviors flashed a gun in her face, causing her stop immediately. Rick was being held back as they continued their assault on Aaron, until he finally spoke up, asking them to stop.

   As soon as the gun was out of her face, she and Rick rushed over, pulling Aaron to his feet as he swayed slightly. Each taking a side, they started down the street when a shot rang out. The blood was pounding in Talia's ears as they moved as fast as they could towards the screams that were echoing throughout the compound when another shot blasted through the air.

   When they rounded the corner, Talia nearly stumbled as they took in the carnage. In the middle of the street was a pool table, and leaning against it was Negan, who had blood spattered across his shirt and face. Lying on the ground next to him in a growing pool of blood and viscera was Spencer. Rosita was also lying on the ground, with one of the Saviors holding a knife to her cheek, which was sliced open.

   "Rick!" Negan called out, as if he were late for a dinner date. "I've been waiting for you."

   Rick handed off Aaron to Eric as Talia continued to support him. "You have missed quite a party," Negan drawled as he pushed himself off of the table. "Your son," he began, "snuck into one of my trucks and mowed down two of my men. But being the swell guy that I am, I brought him back, and I cooked him spaghetti."

   The crowd was silent as Rick shot daggers at Carl, who was crouched down next to a clearly dead Olivia. Raising his arm, Negan pointed at Rosita. "And this little vixen just tried to kill me after Spencer here asked me to kill you and put him in charge. That is not the kind of welcome I was expecting, I'll be honest with you," he continued with a chilly smile.

   Through clenched teeth, Rick turned back around and addressed Negan with steely eyes. "Your shit is at the gates. Please leave."

   With his head cocked, Negan leaned in just to the side of Rick's face. "Sure Rick, I'll leave. But I'm going to be relieving you of your bullet maker. And no matter how much shit is sitting at the gate, you best fucking believe you are still in the hole with me." He turned to walk away before reversing course. "Oh, and I did leave your kitchen in a bit of a mess."

   Talia was still holding Aaron with Eric as Negan walked towards them, giving Aaron an appraising look before giving Talia a bashful smile. "I hope this hasn't damaged your opinion of me, darlin'."

    _Why does this asshole keep talking to me?_

   Talia looked him up and down before responding in a voice so even, he could have skated across it. "Don't worry, my opinion of you is exactly the same as before." His smile dropped before he let out a soft chuckle. "Ouch," he said, wincing slightly, before walking off, his bat swinging back and forth from his hand.

   Letting go of Aaron after he assured her that Eric could manage, she walked over towards Rick who was still standing in the same spot. "Rick," she said, breaking him out of his trance. "Why don't you go deal with Carl while we take care of things out here." The fire that was in his eyes when Negan was there was now gone, leaving him looking shellshocked.

   Talia pulled out her knife, her only weapon left as Spencer started to reanimate, and she reached down, stabbing him in the head before he could reach out to her. After Tara, Rosita, Gabriel, Tobin and a few others helped her remove and bury the bodies, they hauled the pool table back into the garage from which it was pulled, before grabbing buckets of water to wash away the blood.

   She had just gotten out of the shower and sat down to a meager dinner when there was a knock on the door. When she opened it, she was surprised to see Rick, Michonne, and Tara. Ushering them in, Rick walked in with purpose, and he seemed more like the man that she had come to know when his group had first arrived. The group moved into her kitchen as she offered them all some water.

   "We're not going to take up much of your time," Rick began as she sat down last. "We can't live like this anymore, and we shouldn't have to," he continued, "but I want us all to be on the same page."

   "You want to fight," Talia guessed as Tara and Michonne nodded silently. "Yes," Rick affirmed as Talia took a deep breath.

   Looking at each of them in the eyes, she knew deep in her heart that this was the right call. They had all survived because they were strong, and they were certainly stronger together. "Well it's about fucking time," she said with a small smile. "Where do we start?"

   Tara reached out for a fist bump as Rick and Michonne exchanged a look. "We're going to the Hilltop tomorrow, all of us, to talk to their leader, Gregory. The Saviors outnumber us by a significant amount, and we need more people to be able to make a stand," Michonne explained as Rick nodded in agreement.

   "Are they fighters?" Talia wondered as Tara shook her head no. "But Maggie is, and so is Sasha. Plus we have Jesus, too. The others can be taught," Tara offered.

   "Well," Talia said thoughtfully as she drummed her nails on the table, "after we get people, we're going to need to get guns. Anyone have any thoughts?"

   As they were spitballing ideas, Talia actually smacked her forehead in frustration. "I'm such a fucking idiot," she moaned as everyone stared at her. "There's a goddamned naval base in Alexandria," she told them as Rick started to smile. "Why has none of us ever thought to go there?"

   "Probably because it's overrun with walkers," Michonne stated drily, but Talia was too wound up to care. "I'm not saying it's going to be a walk in the park, but if we scope it out and come up with a plan, we should find plenty of weapons there. We just need to find enough guns first in order to put that into play."

   They spent the next hour talking strategy before breaking up for the evening. As they made plans to head out in the morning, Talia wished them a good night before closing the door. For the first time in a long time, she felt a sense of purpose and a sense of hope.

   The next morning, she was looking out of the RV with interest as they approached the walls of the Hilltop. She had never been there before, and she was surprised to see the stately old home that loomed over the fence. As they walked in, she saw Maggie waiting for them, and Rick made a beeline for her. It gave her a lump in her throat to see her smiling, given everything that she had been through, and she assured Rick that the baby was fine. Sasha joined the group, along with Enid, as Rick told them that they were ready to fight.

   But nothing prepared her for the sight of Daryl coming around the corner of the house with Jesus on his heels. Talia watched in surprise as Rick rushed over to them, and her eyes began to water as they embraced, two brothers in arms, if not in blood. With a shy smile, Daryl produced Rick's gun from his back pocket as the rest of the group made their way towards them, with Talia lagging far behind. As Rick holstered his weapon, Daryl finally saw her, and the top of her scalp started to tingle.

   He started walking quickly, and no one was more surprised than her when he grabbed her without hesitation, planting his lips on hers as he gripped her head tightly. When he released her, she stared at him with wide eyes as he started to talk. "Listen," he said quickly, "I know you said your kissin' me was a reaction to Denise's death, but-"

   "That's not what I said, " Talia replied in confusion. "I said I understood if your kissing _me_ was a reaction to Denise, not the other way around."

   "Oh."

   "Oh?" she muttered as her eyes narrowed. "That's your big response?" Without waiting for him to answer, she wrapped her arms around his neck, kissing him roughly, as she heard chuckles behind her. They finally broke apart when they heard Rick clear his throat. "I hate to interrupt your reunion," he said with a smile before she felt Daryl grip her shoulder.

   "Wait," Daryl told Rick as he turned her back around to face him. "There's something else I need to tell you," he said hesitantly as she started to get a trickle of fear running down her spine. "What?" she whispered.

   The others crowded around as he took her hands in his own. "Your sister is at the Sanctuary."


	14. Chapter 14

**Gina**

   Leticia and Lexie were huddled up in the corner next to Gina as Negan continued to rage in the lounge. Simon and Dwight were standing helplessly as he threw their drinking glasses against the wall. He had come back to the Sanctuary to find that Sherry was gone, along with Daryl, who had killed one of the men violently and taken off on a bike while Negan was at Alexandria.

   Suddenly, he rounded on Dwight, gripping him by the neck as he slammed him into the wall. Lexie let out a scream as Gina gathered her up into her arms. Pressing her head against her chest, Gina watched silently as Negan ordered Simon to throw Dwight into Daryl's cell. As Simon dragged him out, Negan turned to face the women, breathing heavily as he focused on Leticia.

   "I want to see you in my room, now."

   Without waiting for a response, he stalked out of the room and a moment later, the sound of his door slamming echoed throughout the floor over Lexie's whimpers. Gina guided Lexie over to the couch, sitting her down and telling her to stay still as she walked back over to Leticia, who was still standing frozen in the corner.

   "Sweetie, you need to go now," Gina urged her softly, taking her by the hand.

   "What is he going to do to us, Gina?" she asked in a tearful voice as Gina guided her through the shards of glass, which were crunching under their feet.

   "He's not going to do anything, Leticia. He probably just going to ask each of us about Sherry."

   "But I don't know anything," Leticia replied, tears forming in her eyes. Gina stopped at the doorway, taking the frightened woman by the shoulders. "Then that's what you tell him."

   With a slight shove, Gina got her moving out the door before turning back to the couch where Lexie was doubled over, still crying. She sat down next to Lexie, rubbing her back as she continued to cry. After a moment, she finally spoke. "You need to get yourself together. He's going to want to speak to all of us. You know that."

   "I've never seen him so unhinged," Lexie declared in a hiccuping breath. "At least, not with us," she amended after she saw the look on Gina's face.

   "I know," Gina sighed, as she reached out for a tissue from the box that was on the coffee table. "We don't know anything," she said as Lexie dabbed at her eyes. After brushing Lexie's hair away from her face, she stood up, walking over to the area that was covered with glass, picking up the largest pieces and tossing them into the garbage can, where they clattered against each other.

   "I'll get that."

   Gina jumped as the voice came from behind her. Turning, she saw a pleasant looking young man in a gray shirt and jeans holding a broom and dustpan in his hands. Stepping over the glass, Gina reached out to take them off of him. "I've got it, but thanks," she told him. As she started sweeping, Leticia came to the door, her face pale and tear stained.

   "He wants to see Lexie," she whispered before scuttling off to her room. Gina looked at Lexie, who stood up with a shuddering breath, moving slowly towards the door. The young man was watching her with concern as she made her way around him. When she was out of sight, Gina resumed cleaning up the glass, sweeping it twice to make sure there were no shards left, not that any of them walked around the room barefoot. When she was done, she handed the broom and dustpan back to the young man, who was studying her.

   "Is everything okay, miss?" he asked timidly. Gina plastered a smile on her face as she answered him. "We just had a little accident, but everything is fine." The young man seemed hesitant to leave, so Gina started walking him towards the door. "What's your name?" she asked politely as he made his way out of the room.

   "I'm Scott," he told her as she touched him lightly on the arm.

   "Well, Scott, thank you for bringing these up for us. We should be all good from here."

   Before he could reply, she closed the door as she stepped back into the room. Hoping that he hustled out of there before Negan saw him, she went back to the bar, grabbing one of the few remaining glasses and filling it with whiskey as she tried to calm her nerves now that she was alone. Lifting the glass, she raised it up in a silent salute to Sherry, with a silent prayer that she made it to safety.

   The liquid burned her throat as she took a large swallow, and she felt the warmness as it made its way down into her stomach. She needed the alcohol to get through the next few minutes since Negan could read most people like a book. Gina was no babe in the woods when it came to lying, but she knew she needed to tread carefully in her answers. She would never betray Sherry, but she also knew it would be foolish to claim complete ignorance.

   A few moments later, the door opened and Lexie swallowed hard before telling her that she was next. Topping off her glass, she brought it with her as she made the long walk to Negan's room. Taking a deep breath, she knocked lightly, waiting for him to tell her to enter. When he did, she opened the door, not surprised to see him behind his desk, his arms crossed as he sat waiting for her.

   Closing the door behind her, she stepped over to the chair directly in front of him, setting her glass on the desk. He was studying her intently, and she cringed inwardly as she tried to keep her face looking concerned, but not guilty.

   The silence was oppressive as she waited for him to begin. He leaned forward slightly, looking at her coldly. "When did you last see Sherry?"

   "When she came in to tell me it was time to go to the lounge. I told her when she woke me up that I wasn't feeling well. She came back to check on me after you left, and the last thing I remember is her closing the door."

   Gina didn't know whether or not he believed her, but he continued to question her. "Did she seem upset to you?"

   Shrugging her shoulders, Gina decided to be honest about this part. "She's been upset for a while," she stated in a soft voice. "I don't think that's a surprise. She didn't seem out of control or anything."

   "So you had no idea that she was thinking of taking off?" he asked doubtfully as she shook her head. "I knew she wasn't happy," Gina reiterated, her voice cracking slightly, "but I never thought she would just leave like that."

   Negan pushed himself away from the desk as he stood up. "I'm having a real fucking hard time believing that not one of the three of you knew anything. Wouldn't you too, if you were me?" he stated as he came around the desk, leaning against it as he looked down at her.

   "I should have known," Gina lied, as real tears came, and she dropped her head into her hands. "I'm the one that's closest to her, and I should have seen it. I was just too wrapped up in my own shit."

   "Look at me," he finally said as she took a sniffling breath. As she lifted her eyes to his, she was shocked at the coldness that permeated them. "If I find out that she was the one that let Daryl out, I'll search the entire country looking for her."

   Her breath came out in a huff as his words had their impact on her. "You don't give a shit about her at all, do you? This is all about Daryl, isn't it?" She was incredulous at his sheer gall. Gina was on her feet before she even knew what was happening. "Worse, this is all about you."

   "I suggest you sit the fuck back down," he warned her, standing up so that they were face to face.

   "No," she said calmly as his eyes narrowed. "No, I don't think I will."

   "Excuse me? I don't think I heard you correctly."

   "Oh, I think you did," she replied as she stood up to her full height. "If you're looking for answers as to why she's gone, look no further than your own reflection. _You_ and you alone drove her away. It's fairly obvious that she didn't want this, and she didn't want _yo_ u, no matter what you were holding over her head."

   Gina watched as his nostrils began to flare, and his face started to redden. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw his hand twitch, and she knew that he was trying to control the urge to strike her. "Go ahead," she encouraged him. "If you do hit me, you better make sure it's with your fucking bat. Because if I don't go down for good, you'll never get another chance. I had you flat on your fucking back before and I can do it again, believe me."

   Gina was both angry and terrified, but she refused to back down. Negan may get away with terrorizing others, but she would be damned if he ruled over her that way.

   After several agonizing breaths, he jerked his head for her to get out, and she stomped towards the door. Before she opened it, she turned again to see him staring daggers at her. "Here's a little advice, free of charge," she snapped at him. "The next time you choose a wife, I recommend finding one that actually wants to fucking be with you." Before he could speak, she let out a bitter laugh. "Oh, who am I kidding? That fact means shit to you."

   Leaving the door open, Gina started towards her room before veering into the lounge, grabbing the whiskey bottle, and heading down the steps. She had the overwhelming urge to be outside, away from everyone. As she stomped through the factory, people parted ways for her, and she made a beeline for the main door. The sun had long since set, but the air was still warm as guards made their patrols along the fences. Leaning against the factory wall, she bent over and undid her heels, carrying them in one hand and the alcohol in the other as she headed for the garden.

   Gina ignored the men watching her as she opened the gate. As she transferred her shoes to her whiskey hand, she grabbed a blue tarp that was lying nearby and dragged it with her to a large unused area along the inner fence. She dropped the shoes and the whiskey into the soft grass and then spread the tarp out. Plopping down in the center, she sat cross-legged, pushing her dress in between her legs before opening the bottle and taking a large swig.

   After her highly unwise hissy fit, Sherry would have been the first person here that she would have gone to. They would have dissected it thoroughly before dissolving into a fit of laughter at her stupidity. But Sherry was gone, Talia was in Alexandria and she was utterly alone. Leticia and Lexie were fine, but they weren't her friends, and they couldn't see past their own security. Gina had no clue how they really felt about Negan, or what went on between them when he was with them. She only had her own experience to go off of, and it was upsetting to have feelings for a narcissistic, dangerous man who only cared about having the most, the best, and the prettiest.

   Gina drank until the world started to get blurry, and then she set the bottle aside, laying back on the tarp as it stuck to her skin. The sky above her was clear and black, and the stars twinkled merrily above her until they started to blur together from her tears, which slipped out of her eyes, down her temples, and into her hair. She cried for Sherry, she cried for Daryl, she cried for Negan, she cried for Talia, and she cried for herself. Unable to look up at the beauty of the sky, she shed silent tears with her arms draped over her eyes.

   About an hour later, she felt someone sit down on the tarp, though whoever it was made no attempt to touch her. With a shuddering breath, she lifted her arms to find Negan sitting next to her, with his knees propped up and his chin resting on them. He didn't look at her as he spoke. "Why are you out here?" he asked in the softest voice she had ever heard him use.

   "I'm sad," she said in a strangled voice. "I miss Sherry and I miss my sister. I miss the only two people in this entire world who care about me, and even though the world is destroyed, I never thought I'd feel this lonely."

   "You're not alone," he told her in a soothing voice as Gina looked at him with tired eyes. "Being a placeholder for someone's libido doesn't make me feel less alone," she told him as she rolled away from him.

   As the tears started again, she felt him scoop her up into his arms as she continued to cry into his shoulder. Her eyes closed as the swaying rhythm of him carrying lulled her into a sleepy state. Gina was vaguely aware of when he carried her up the steps, taking her into his bedroom and laying her gently on the mattress. As her eyes closed for good, she felt his arms around her and his lips at her ear.

   "Unfortunately for both of us, you just may turn out to be my one thing, and that could be disastrous for us both."


	15. Chapter 15

**Talia**

   Talia sat on the steps of the Hilltop house while the rest of her friends went inside to speak to Gregory. Daryl's words were still echoing in her ears, and she was struggling to wrap her mind around the fact that her sister was currently at the Sanctuary. Not as a prisoner, but willingly. When he told her, Talia had immediately turned and started for the gates before she was stopped by Rick.

   "What do you think you're doing?" Rick asked as he grabbed her by the arm, pulling her to a stop. 

   Talia looked at him in disbelief. "I'm going to get my sister." Turning to Daryl, she addressed him next. "I want directions to the Sanctuary." 

   Daryl shook his head as he stepped towards her, his eyes on the ground. "Ya can't just stroll up to the gates and demand to see your sister. You know that." He reached out and took her hand, pulling her towards him. Rick joined them, placing his hand on her shoulder as she shook her head. 

   "Listen," Rick said, "if you show up there, they'll wonder how you knew to find her. It won't take them long to connect the dots back to Daryl. She's safe there, and I don't think Negan has any intention of harming her. If he did, he would've used her for leverage the second he recognized you when he came to Alexandria."

   Swallowing hard, Talia knew that he was right. She felt totally defeated as she let them lead her back towards the house. As they opened the door, she sat down heavily on the steps. Daryl leaned down to ask her if she wanted him to stay with her, but she told him to go ahead. 

   While she was alone, she watched the people of the Hilltop as they milled around. They had trailers dotted throughout the grounds, and one of the men was pounding steel into the shape of a sword. Everything appeared to be running smoothly for them as several tended to the large gardens that occupied the corner of the wall. 

   Talia tried to force the thoughts of Gina with Negan from her mind. For the life of her, she couldn't fathom how her sister could willingly be with such a monster. When she had looked into his eyes, she saw nothing but menace. So how could Gina stand for that? Did she even know the kinds of horrible things the Saviors have done?

   She was interrupted from her thoughts by approaching footsteps. Looking up, she saw Enid making her way over to the house with several people behind her. Standing up, she moved aside as the young girl bounded up the steps, opening the door to the house. Talia nodded to the strangers as Enid returned with the Alexandrians close behind. 

   Gregory had vetoed any alliance to fight the Saviors, but apparently, his people did not feel the same. They all pledged to work with Alexandria, and Maggie and Sasha agreed to teach them how to fight. With a few instructions from Rick, Maggie led the group over to a nearby trailer to begin preparations. The rest of the group began to head towards the gates, anxious to get back to Alexandria before the Saviors came looking for Daryl, who did not want to be left behind.

   As Rick and Daryl argued, with Daryl insisting that they needed more fighters, Jesus finally spoke up. "We don't need to get back right away," he told the two men as they both looked over sharply. With a triumphant grin, he produced a radio from his back pocket, showing everyone. "I snagged it from one of the Saviors. It's long range, so we'll be able to hear when they move out." Tucking it back into his pocket he looked at Michonne, and then Rick. "You're right that we're going to need more people."

   Rick's head cocked to the right as his eyebrow went up. "I need you come with me. I think it's time that you meet Ezekiel. King Ezekiel."

   "King?" The look on Rick's face was priceless, and it caused Talia to smile. "Just keep an open mind," Jesus said persuasively as he led them through the gates and back to their RV. Rick walked around to the driver's side door as Jesus pulled himself up into the passenger's side. Tara, Rosita, Sasha Michonne, Daryl, Carl, and Talia all climbed into the back, seating themselves on the couches as the big machine rumbled to life. 

   While Jesus was playing co-pilot, directing Rick where to go, Talia sat between Michonne and Daryl. There were a lot of listening ears, but she wanted more information about her sister. The RV jerked slightly before moving more smoothly out on the dirt road, and Talia turned her attention towards Daryl. "I need you to tell me everything," she insisted as she grabbed him by the hand. "How the hell did you see her?"

   Daryl shifted himself as well so that they were almost facing each other. "She came to see me. Dwight let her in." Talia nodded for him to continue. "Apparently they're somewhat friendly, and he gave her some time to meet me. When the door opened, I could barely see. It took some time to get adjusted, and when I looked up, I thought it was you." Talia squeezed his hand tightly. "I wish I had been the one to find you," she said softly. "I would have gladly taken out as many of those assholes as I could."

   Daryl gave her a rare smile as he continued. "She knelt down and told me she was yer sister, but it took me a minute to comprehend because you told us she was kidnapped by three men, and there's a hell of a lot more than three Saviors. But she said that Negan and his men had rescued her and killed the men who took her. She also said Negan brought her back to the Sanctuary and took care of her, getting her treated." 

   "I don't believe it," Talia said angrily. "That asshole is a monster. He's got to be keeping her there against her will."

   "Talia," he said in a low voice. "I know you don't like hearing this, but I'm telling the truth. She is one of Negan's wives."

   "Wives? As in more than one?" She was practically screeching. 

   "Yeah. She stays on his floor with the other wives. The only other thing she told me was that Negan promised that no harm would come to you."

   Looking around, she could see everyone watching her with neutral expressions. Even Rick had glanced back in the rearview. With a deep breath, she addressed them all. "Listen, guys, I'm fighting no matter what was said. Protection for me doesn't matter where you, my friends are involved. We're a family, and I wouldn't ever let you down. I hope you believe that."

   "Of course we do," Michonne said as everyone else nodded their heads. Jesus gave her a smile, and Rick nodded his head at her as she fought the urge to cry. "Gina also said she was gonna try to come and see you," Daryl whispered into her ear. Hearing this, all Talia could do was nod her head, unable to speak.

   The rest of the ride was quiet except for the occasional directions by Jesus. As they moved into a more suburban area, the RV swung to the right and came to a slow stop in a deserted hardware parking lot. Jesus was the first to climb out, and he circled around the front of the vehicle as the rest of the group made their way behind him. 

   "Jesus, what the hell are we doin'?" Daryl grunted as he looked around at the desolated area. Jesus smiled as he stuck his hands in his jacket pockets. "We're waiting. For that," he stated as he looked off towards the right. 

   The group turned towards the sound of hoofbeats. From behind a two-story building, three men on horses came galloping into the parking lot. They were dressed in black and wearing protective equipment, and each one was carrying a gun. The first to reach them was a man in his forties, with brown hair and tired eyes. 

   "Good afternoon, Richard," Jesus called out as the man dismounted with his gun drawn. "Jesus, what in God's name are you doing bringing strangers to our gates?"

   With his hands in the air, Jesus introduced the group, explaining that they were allies, and seeking an audience with the king. Richard grudgingly agreed to accompany them, but only after taking Rick's gun and searching the rest for any hidden weapons. Leading them back around the building, Richard and Jesus spoke quietly while the other two men stationed themselves in the rear of the procession.

   After walking for about ten minutes, they approached a large wooden gate, which swung open to reveal an expansive, flourishing community. Talia looked around in wonder at the large school, which was surrounded by a group of buildings and houses. Every available parcel of land was being used to grow food or tend to animals. There were horses, goats and even cows and chickens, and the people looked strong and well fed. 

   As their hosts took their horses to be put in a barn that had been erected, Rick studied the people who were milling around. There were plenty of men and women, more than enough to help with the fight against the Saviors. The only question was if this Ezekiel would agree to join them. If so, their chances of taking a successful stand had just improved immensely.   
  
   "Morgan?"

   Everyone turned as Tara began walking quickly away. Standing on the steps of the school was Morgan, who was looking at them in disbelief. They embraced as Morgan eyed up Rick, whose face was unreadable. Talia was surprised that he was not happier to see the man that he had known since the outbreak occurred, and she looked to Daryl, who seemed suspicious as well. 

   "Did you find Carol?" Rick questioned, his voice measured as the men faced each other. "I did," Morgan affirmed in his usual gentle tone. "She had been shot by one of the Saviors, but some men from the Kingdom offered us aid."

   Morgan looked at Daryl briefly before returning his gaze to Rick. "When she recovered, she left. She didn't want to be found, Rick, and she didn't want to stay here."

   "So ya just let her go off alone?" Daryl snapped as Morgan smiled sadly at him. 

   "I couldn't force her to come back. Everything that she did had taken a toll on her, and she needed to get away. She deserved to make her own choice."

   Just then, the metal doors to the school opened, and a young man with black hair motioned them forward. "The King will see you now."

   The rest of the conversation would have to wait as there were more pressing matters. Talia followed behind Daryl as they were led single file into what appeared to be an auditorium. She ended up running into his back as he stopped suddenly. Talia wondered why until she heard a loud roar from the stage. Peeking around Daryl's shoulder, her mouth dropped as she saw a large tiger prowling the stage with a chain around its neck. 

   Jesus' expression was amused as he addressed the group. "Sorry, I forgot to mention that Ezekiel has a tiger."

   "Yeah," Rick muttered uncertainly as they continued down the aisle, albeit cautiously.

   "Jesus!" called the man sitting on the throne. He was handsome, and certainly possessed an air of regality, as he held onto the chain that was around the tiger's neck. "You bless us with a visit, yet you bring strangers into my kingdom." He looked reproachfully down at them as they all spread out, showing that they were unarmed and meant no harm. 

   "Allow me to explain," Jesus said genially as he took a few steps forward. "This is Rick Grimes, the leader of a like-minded community called Alexandria, and these are his people. They have a proposition for you, and I respectfully request that you hear them out."

   Ezekiel inclined his head towards Rick, who moved past Jesus to face the king. The tiger let out a growl, and Rick froze as Ezekiel pulled the chain gently. "Shiva," he admonished her. "Settle. They mean us no harm." Looking back at Rick, he motioned for him to continue.

   "As Jesus told you, we come from a community that is much like yours. We have a relationship with the Hilltop and we seek to live in peace. And like you, we have a common problem: we all serve the Saviors."

   Ezekiel's face darkened as he again focused on Jesus. "You tell our secrets to a stranger? My own people don't even know of our arrangement with the Saviors. I told you because I believed you could be trusted."

   "And I apologize," Jesus replied, "but Rick is a man of honor. His group has suffered losses since they came to the Savior's attention, and-"

   "What losses?" Morgan interrupted as everyone turned to look at him. 

   "Abraham. Glenn. Spencer. Olivia." It was Rosita who spoke up, and she eyed him bitterly. "They're all dead because of Negan."

   "I-I'm sorry," he stammered, looking completely rattled. 

   "That's why we're here," Rick continued, bringing the focus back to Ezekiel. "The only way our groups can survive, the only way we can thrive is if we take a stand against the Saviors. We're here to ask you to join us. To fight."

   Ezekiel shifted in his throne as he weighed Rick's words. "We don't have the firepower to accomplish this," he stated as Rick took another step forward.

   "I'm not saying we want to do it tomorrow," he reasoned as Michonne stepped forward. 

   "We have strong fighters in our community, and with coordination between the three groups, we can do this. Our group took out a large contingent of Negan's men. We thought we took out everyone, but unfortunately, we didn't know the extent of his reach. The building that we cleared was only one of his outposts. But with more information and weapons, it can be done," Michonne told him as his eyebrows rose.

   Talia held her breath as he seemed to absorb their words. "I have much to think about," he told them as he stood up. "I invite you to spend the evening and I will provide you with an answer in the morning. Jerry," he said, waving to a large man to his right, "show them to the west building and provide them with food for the evening."

   Without another word, he exited the stage with the tiger, leaving them with his men. Disappointed, she took Daryl's hand as they followed Jerry out of the building. He led them through the center of their compound to another part of the school. The classrooms had been turned into living quarters, all of which were clean and bright. 

   Jerry offered Talia and Daryl two rooms, but Talia declined, telling him that they only needed one. With a grin, he bowed to her before telling them that he would return shortly with provisions for everyone. As he headed down the hall, Daryl closed the door, leaving the two of them alone together for the first time since their kiss.

   He turned around to find her sitting on the bed, unlacing her boots. When she looked up, she saw that he was watching her cautiously. "What?" she asked curiously, wondering what was going through his mind. "Did you want your own room?"

   Daryl shook his head. "No," he murmured as she stood up to approach him. "It just feels surreal to be here. A few hours ago I was sitting in a dark cell wonderin' if I'd ever see you and everyone else again. And now we're stayin' in a kingdom with a tiger."  
  
   Talia wrapped her arms around his neck as she buried her head in his neck. "Watching you walk in with them was unbearable. I'm just thankful that you got away, and I'm grateful to whoever helped you escape."

   "Me, too," he said as his arms tightened around her waist, causing her heart to start beating faster. Talia ran her lips up his neck, kissing his jawline as he turned his head towards her, and their lips met again like the first time. And just like the first time, it sent shivers down her spine and lit a fire in her belly. She opened her mouth to him while she pulled him towards the bed, determined not to let this precious time together go to waste.

   He was in tune with her, reaching under her shirt to undo her bra before they broke apart. There was a sense of urgency in their movements as they quickly removed their clothes before Talia pushed him gently but firmly onto the bed, climbing on top of him as he pulled her hair aside, his mouth latching onto her neck. She shuddered as his stubble brought goosebumps to her skin, and she ground herself into his pelvis, anxious for him to enter her. 

   Reaching between them, she took ahold of him, and guided him to her entrance, easing down slowly. She felt him tilt his hips until he was fully inside her before she pulled him into a sitting position. Moving up and down, her thumb grazed across his lips while they locked eyes. His skin was warm, and they moved in unison until he grabbed her legs, wrapping them around his back so that he could lay her down. 

   Daryl took charge, his thrusts getting stronger and harder as he kissed her roughly, his pent up lust and frustration making its way from him to her. Pinning her arms above her head, he attacked her neck with his tongue, causing her to squirm beneath him. Lower and lower he went until he reached her breasts, teasing her nipples and nipping at them with his teeth. When she couldn't take it anymore, she pulled her arms free, yanking him up roughly to her mouth as she moaned. 

   Every nerve in her body felt like it was raw, and she begged him to go faster so that she could quench the ache between her thighs, feeling like she might die if she did not have a release. Faster and faster he moved, rubbing against her until she felt the ache get stronger and stronger, finally crying out his name as she came, her eyes closed so tight that she saw stars. As she began to shake, she felt him stiffen, and he slammed into her filling her with warmth. Spent, his head dropped onto her shoulder as they lay together, trying to catch their breath.

   Daryl finally lifted his head, kissing her softly on the lips. "I'm sorry if I was too rough," he apologized. Talia brushed the hair out of his eyes as she smiled. "Not too rough at all." Putting his head back down, she caressed his back as they continued to recover. He finally pulled out of her, and she rolled over to make room for him to lay next to her. 

   The next morning, they walked hand in hand out of the building to meet the rest of the group. Rick had been up early in negotiations with Ezekiel, but he declined to join them at this time. Talia was disappointed, but not surprised. Ezekiel seemed like a peaceful man, and it would take more than one day to get him to agree to risk his people's safety for the good of everyone.

   Before they left, Rick asked Daryl to stay behind. Talia was unhappy, but they agreed it was the right call since the Saviors would most likely search every square inch of Alexandria, thinking he would return home. 

   After everyone else said their goodbyes, it was just the two of them. "Stay safe," she whispered as he bent to kiss her goodbye. "I'll try to come and see you as soon as I can."

   She knew in her heart that this was not a forever goodbye, but it still caused her to cry as she dropped his hand. Daryl gently brushed the tears away before taking her hand again and bringing it to his lips. As she walked away, she tried to compose herself. This man, this sweet, savage amazing man had turned her world upside down. She'd gone from just wanting to survive and find her sister, to now hoping for a future that included him, and she was terrified that he would be taken from her again, possibly permanently. 

   When Talia climbed into the RV, Tara patted the seat next to her as they headed home. They may not have the numbers, but the group was determined that the next obstacle would be handled. And that was finding guns. 

   As the Alexandria gate came into view, Talia was glad to be home. She was hoping for a night to relax before they started planning their trip to the naval base. But when they all split up to head to their own houses, they were drawn back together by the sound of trucks approaching. The Saviors were indeed on their way to look for Daryl.


	16. Chapter 16

**Gina**

   Gina woke to the sound of someone writing. She could hear the scratch of a pencil as it made its way across paper, and she opened her eyes slowly. Negan's room was filled with a dull gray light, and he was sitting up in the bed with a pad of paper propped up in his lap. She observed him silently for a few moments until he turned to check on her, starting slightly when he noticed she was awake. As he set the paper aside, she saw that it was one of his inventories that he did weekly, to keep track of what was plentiful and what the Sanctuary was in need of.

   "How are you feeling?" he asked evenly as she turned her attention to the window. "I'm fine," she answered in a monotone voice. Gina could hear him take a deep breath as he eased himself off of the bed, coming around the end of it to her other side. Extending a hand, he helped her stand up, and she pulled her hand from his grasp once she was upright.

   "If you'll excuse me, I'm going to go take a shower." She was still in last night's dress, and she was sure whatever was left of her makeup was halfway down her face if the tears she had shed hadn't washed it all away.

   "I'll see you when you're done," he told her, much to her chagrin. The harsh words that they had exchanged the night before were still fresh in her mind, and she had no wish to rehash the conversation. But whatever Negan wanted, he got, so she nodded her assent before walking out the door. She could feel him watching her, but she kept her head up and straight ahead, closing the door behind her.

   Gina stopped as she got to her room, glancing at Sherry's closed door. A lump formed in her throat as she wondered where she ran off to, and if Negan had sent anyone to find her. She knew that he had suspected Dwight of helping her escape, but judging by his disposition when her disappearance came to light, he was as shocked as everyone else.

   Shaking it off, she went into her room, stripping off her clothes and tossing them into her hamper before walking into her bathroom. Gina turned on the water as hot as it would go and brushed her teeth before stepping in. The shower never got really hot, but since it was early in the day, it was much warmer than usual. While the water cascaded down her head, she zoned out, not really thinking about anything, just letting the water soak into her skin. After a few moments, she began to clean up and turned off the water with regret.

   After wringing out her hair, she wrapped the towel around her body before walking back into her room, where she found Negan sitting on her bed, and clothes laid out for her. Instead of a dress, jeans, a shirt and boots were folded neatly, along with a gun and a knife. Her mouth opened slightly as she struggled to understand what was happening.

   "It's my gift to you," Negan said quietly as she picked up the gun, examining it. "Simon is going to Alexandria today to look for Daryl, and you're going with him so that you can see your sister."

   "Why?" she inquired, not looking at him. "Why now?"

   "Because, despite what you think of me, I'm not heartless," he answered as  she walked over to the dresser, grabbing panties and a bra out of the top drawer.

   Gina removed her towel, tossing it on the bed next to him as she slipped on her clothes. When she finally looked at him, he was watching her, but there wasn't a hint of lust on his face. Instead, he looked almost wistful as she sat on the bed next to him to slip on her boots. After she laced them up, he put his hand on her cheek, turning her face towards his.

   "I hope this helps," Negan told her as he leaned in to kiss her, but she turned her head at the last second, and his lips found her cheek instead. "Thank you," she murmured as he let go of her, standing up and walking out of the room without another word.

   Gina took the towel back into the bathroom, brushing her hair quickly as tears stung her eyes. Setting down the brush, she looked at her reflection in the mirror. Instead of excitement at seeing Talia, all she felt was dread.

   Swallowing hard, she grabbed a pack of cigarettes and a lighter before exiting her room, and she headed down the hall towards the steps. When she opened the door to the stairwell, she nearly ran right into Simon, who was leaning against the railing.

   "You ready to roll out?" he asked as she gave him a tight smile. Her gun and knife were holstered on the belt that Negan gave her, and she patted them to make sure they were secure. When they reached the bottom floor, Simon held the door open for her before leading her through the cafeteria, which was packed with people waiting for breakfast.

   Simon offered to grab her something to eat, but she declined politely since her stomach was churning with anxiety. With a shrug, he continued out the doors towards the trucks that were already loaded with men. The duo headed for a blue truck that was at the head of the pack, directly in front of the gate. With a wave of Simon's hand, the gate opened and they climbed in.

   Gina's hands were shaking slightly as she lit up a cigarette, taking a large drag as she rolled down the window. The truck sped out of the Sanctuary, and she watched it get smaller and smaller in the side mirror while Simon turned on the radio, popping in a cd for the drive.

   "So what kind of community is this?" she asked Simon as he made a right hand turn onto the highway, negotiating his way around several abandoned cars.

   "It's a walled-off neighborhood. Built for rich fucks," he told her as she watched him. "Their leader is a real prick, but he's a good provider so far. They've got about sixty people."

   "And they've been cooperative so far?" Gina wondered aloud as Simon let out a snort.

   "There've been a few bumps in the road."

   Gina turned her attention back to the road. "How many people have died?" she asked dully as he glanced at her out of the corner of his eye.

   "They brought it on themselves, Gina," he replied as she tossed her cigarette out the window. "I'm sure they did," she muttered under her breath.

   An hour later, Simon turned down a narrow road, breaking Gina out of her thoughts. It was a few minutes later when she saw the approaching wall, and the gate was open. Without waiting for a signal, Simon and the rest of the trucks drove through, pulling off to a large area on the right.

   As he shut off the engine, Gina saw a group of people standing a few feet away. In the middle of them was Talia. Before she could open the door, Simon laid his hand on her arm. "You can see your sister, but you have to stay out in the open," he told her as she narrowed her eyes at him. "You have until the search is completed."

   He stepped out of the truck as she finally opened the door, stepping out on shaky feet. Peeking through the window, she saw Simon approach a man with wavy salt and pepper hair who was standing alongside a woman with long dreads. As they started walking away, Gina stepped out from behind the truck.

   "Talia."

   She watched with a thudding heart as her sister stopped in her tracks, turning slowly around. Her eyes were wide as she stared in shock. A split second later, Talia took off running and she slammed into Gina, wrapping her in a hug as she began to cry. "GiGi," she sobbed as Gina soothed her. People were staring as the two clung to each other.

   "I'm here. I'm ok."

   Gina took Talia by the arms as they finally broke apart. "Is there a bench we can sit at and talk?" Gina asked.

   "Come to my house," Talia told her as Gina shook her head. "We have to stay outside," Gina explained as Talia's face darkened, though she didn't say anything. Pointing over to the gazebo, the two walked hand in hand, sitting down on the wooden bench.

   "So, how did you end up here?" Gina asked awkwardly as she looked down at her feet. She mentally kicked herself for asking such a stupid question, but she was ill at ease in this place, with strangers watching their every move.

   "After I got shot, I apparently ended up along the banks of a stream that was down the hill. A couple named Aaron and Eric are the scouts for Alexandria and they found me. They brought be back here and the people here took care of me." Talia turned to face her sister. "I thought you were jumping with me," she said quietly as Gina frowned.

   "I told you that it wasn't safe," Gina insisted as her head dropped. "I told you to wait until we stopped."

   Taking Gina by the hand, Talia waited until her sister acknowledged her before continuing. "I'm sorry. I panicked. I knew that if they got us back to wherever they came from that it wouldn't end well."

   They both stared at each other, each one convinced that they were right. Gina broke eye contact first as she saw Simon leading the man out of one of the houses and into the neighboring house.

   "Will you tell me what happened after I jumped?"

   Closing her eyes, Gina let the memories overwhelm her. The smell of urine and body odor, the ache in her head from headbutting one of the men. Every punch and kick, every yank of her hair as hands groped her.

   Speaking in a detached voice, she told Talia of being dragged kicking and screaming from the truck and thrown down the steps of an old house, hitting the cold cement floor. Of hearing the sounds of gunfire and blows being exchanged. The sounds of footsteps on the wooden stairs as she tried to crawl into the corner of the basement. The gentle hands pushing her blood soaked hair out of her face. The feeling of being scooped up and carried up the same wooden steps and whispered assurances that she was safe.

   She even told Talia about the smell of Negan's leather jacket as she clung to him on the ride to the Sanctuary. How he ordered the factory doctor to do everything in his power to fix her. That Negan spent the night watching over her, and how he treated her with kid gloves in the days and weeks that followed, making sure that she never wanted for anything.

   When she finished, she opened her eyes to see Talia watching her pale-faced, with tears falling down her cheeks. "I'm so sorry, GiGi. I'm sorry that I wasn't there."

   Gina gave her a reassuring smile as she pulled her in for a hug. "I'm sorry, too. I wish I had jumped with you most days."

   "We have to figure out a way to get you out of there," Talia said as Gina stiffened, pulling back. Talia's eyes narrowed as she studied her body language. "You can't possibly want to stay with that monster."

   "I don't know what I want," Gina whispered as she stood up, walking over towards the railing. "I don't want anything to happen to you."

   Talia stood up and came up behind her, pulling her back so that they were facing each other. "And what about the people I care about? He killed two of my friends. He also murdered two other residents. He took the man I-"

   "Daryl? You and Daryl?"

   Talia's mouth snapped shut as she composed herself. "I love these people. They've become family to me. As much as you are."

   "Gina!"

   Both turned as Simon approached. "It's time."

   Gina nodded her head as she wiped her eyes. "I gotta go," she said in a low voice that was tinged with sadness. Hugging Talia quickly, she turned and walked back towards the entrance, her thoughts racing. She thought that coming here would set her soul at ease, but all it did was break her heart.

   Simon walked her back to the truck, opening the door for her as she climbed in. As he passed the group of people, including Talia, he slowed to a stop. "This is your friendly reminder that if Daryl ever shows up here, we'll kill him. It doesn't matter if it's tomorrow or a year from now. And that is non-negotiable."

   Gina looked at Talia apologetically as they started to drive away, moving at top speed through the gates. Blessedly, Simon didn't talk to her on the way back, and she wasn't sure she'd be able to answer him even if he did.

   They finally pulled into the Sanctuary, and Gina jumped out of the truck before it came to a full stop, walking briskly towards the building. The cafeteria was deserted, so she walked towards the kitchen, knocking on the doors and waiting for someone to answer. When it swung open, she was surprised to see Scott, the young man who brought up the broom and dustpan the night before.

   With a big smile, he gave her some freshly baked cookies, and told her to come back anytime she needed anything. Thanking him, she ate them quickly before walking up the stairs towards her floor. When she got to the top, she walked past the lounge, which was empty. Gina wasn't sure where Lexie and Leticia were, but the thought of them being with Negan right now made her angry, something she had never felt before.

   That anger pushed her towards his room instead of her own, and she knocked loudly at the door. It took a few moments for him to answer, and when he did, he was shirtless, his hair wet and slicked back. Pushing past him, Gina walked into his room, searching for either of the girls, but he was alone, and there was no sign that either one had been there. She was breathing rapidly, and she felt like she was going to break into a million pieces.

   Overcome, she sat down on the edge of the bed, her head dropping into her hands. As she tried to get herself together, she could hear him walking towards her, and she felt his hands on her knees. Lifting her head, Gina saw that he was kneeling in front of her, looking concerned. Before he could say anything, she grabbed his face, pulling him towards her. She needed to claim him, to own him totally in that moment, the man who saved her, who cared for her when she was at her most vulnerable.

   No words were spoken as he lifted her shirt over her head, and she pulled at his jeans, scratching him as she ripped the button open. Negan pushed her back onto the bed, undoing her own pants and pulling them down with her panties. Spreading her thighs, he buried his head between them as she dug her hands into his hair. With his fingers and tongue, he brought her to orgasm in minutes, but she wasn't satiated. Gina needed him inside her, and she guided him in, groaning as he moved in and out.

   She urged him to go harder, faster as a fine sheen of sweat covered them both. Wrapping her legs around his waist, she swore at him as he pounded into her before he finally came, lifting her hips as he ground against her.

   They lay entwined for several minutes, with Negan's head on her chest as she held onto him tightly. When Gina finally dropped her arms, he eased himself out of her, though he remained on top of her. Before he could speak, she pressed her thumb to his lips before lifting her head to kiss him.

   As she lay back, he caressed her face while studying her as her eyes drifted shut. "We need to talk about this, doll," he whispered into her ear as she brought her hand up to the back of his head. "You're giving me whiplash from all these changes."

   "I'm not ready to talk yet," she told him as she wrapped her arms around him, kissing him again. "Just give me some time."


	17. Chapter 17

  
**Talia**

  Spreading the map on the kitchen table, Talia studied it, looking for the easiest way to get to the naval base. She had been there several times with her father and Gina, but the housing was the first priority. Michonne and Rick had gone out a few days before, just after her meeting with Gina, and they had returned with around fifty guns, along with ammunition. 

   While they were gone, Talia had gone to the Hilltop to help train their residents, and she had been surprised to find Daryl back there when she arrived. When she saw him, she had burst into tears as he took her in his arms. After guiding her to the steps of the main house, she told him about her reunion with her sister. 

   "She loves him," Talia said in a morose tone. "She actually cares about that evil prick."

   "Look," Daryl told her as he held her hand. "No one wants him to die more than me, but it seems like he's treated her well, and he did rescue her. So I can kinda understand where she's comin' from. This whole situation can't be easy for her. Plus she may not have seen him do the same shit we have."

   "We still have to kill him," replied Talia. "He still can't be allowed to live, no matter what that does for Gina. This is about more than her."

   They sat in silence as a group began to form in the courtyard, waiting for the training to begin. When Maggie and Sasha joined them, they led the men and women outside the walls, setting them up in the large field just outside the Hilltop. While Talia taught them basic self-defense, Sasha had each person practice taking shots at a target to see who had the best aim. Most were average at best, but there was a handful that did well. 

   As Daryl and Maggie worked with the others, Sasha and Talia went over the basics of the rifles that they were using, teaching them how to aim through the scope and the easiest points to shoot. When a few walkers came shuffling through the outside edge of the field, the two women each took a shot, and they both took out one walker each. Handing over the guns, a man named Desmond and a woman named Hannah each started to shoot. As the walkers got closer, they both started to panic.

   "Take a deep breath," Talia urged Hannah, placing her hand on Hannah's arm to steady her. As the woman followed her instructions, she told her to straighten her arm, and Hannah took another shot, hitting one of the walkers in the chest. It didn't go down, but Talia praised her, telling her that any shot on a human was a good one. When the walkers were in stabbing distance, Sasha and Talia took them out with a knife to save bullets.

  After a few hours, they let the group get back to their regular work, but the foursome stayed outside the gates, gathering up bullet casings and sweeping the area for any other walkers. As they were making their way back in, one of the guards shouted out that there were trucks on their way in. Maggie and Sasha took off towards the house, where Jesus was waving them in. Racing down the steps, he led Talia and Daryl to the cellar doors on the right side of the house, directing them towards the back corner of the basement. 

   Daryl pulled her by the arm towards a set of shelves holding dozens of mason jars and boxes. The air was thick and musty as he pulled Talia back against him along the wall, and they slid down silently, with her between his legs. Her heart was thudding as they could hear men outside the window across from them, though it was covered up with a white cloth. Daryl's arms wrapped around her as the door to the cellar rattled, opening slowly. 

   Silently, she produced her knife as the sound of footsteps echoed in the dank room. Peering between bottles, she could see a balding man walking slowly through the room, randomly shoving boxes with his boot and lifting up sheets which covered old furniture. As he got closer, she gripped the knife in her hand, ready to strike until Daryl's rough hand covered her own, forcing her arm down to her side. 

   Anger ripped through her as she leaned her head back against his chest. She wanted to kill this man, and Talia would rather die than let the Saviors get Daryl back. "Fuck this," the man muttered, turning back and walking towards the steps as Talia let out a silent breath. They stayed in the same spot for several minutes until they were sure no one was coming back down. 

   As she sat up, Talia twisted herself around to glare at Daryl, but at the sight of his face, all the anger was forgotten. He looked traumatized, and she dropped the knife with a clatter. Grasping both sides of his face, she leaned in, pressing her cheek next to his. "This is all my fault," he said in a shaky voice. "I started all this.Don't make the same mistake I did."

   Gripping his face tightly, she leaned back so that she could look him in the eyes. "No it's not," she whispered. "You wanted to protect your family. No one could have known that they were this strong." Talia brushed his hair out of his face as she continued. "We're going to win. Soon, everyone will be safe. Everyone."

   Daryl nodded his head as he pulled her back against him, and Talia laid her head on his chest, listening to the steady sound of his heart beating as they waited for someone to let them know everything was okay. After around thirty minutes, the cellar door opened again, but this time it was Jesus, who gave them the all clear to come up.   
Trudging up the steps, she took Jesus' hand as she stepped out onto the grass. "Are Maggie and Sasha safe?" she asked as Daryl followed her out. 

   "Safe and sound," he assured her as they made their way around the house to the front. Sure enough, the two were standing near the steps, talking to a few residents. Talia and Daryl joined them as Jesus was summoned inside to speak with Gregory. When he came out a few moments later, he motioned for the four to follow him to his trailer.

   When they were alone, he told them that Gregory was growing irritated with the constant visits from the Sanctuary, Simon in particular. "I don't trust him," Sasha muttered, "he only cares about his position. He doesn't give a shit about the people underneath him."

  Talia turned to look out the window, studying the men and women who were cleaning up after the Saviors visit. "Do you think he'd sell us out?" she wondered as she turned back around. 

   "In a heartbeat," Maggie retorted as she sat down at the table. 

   "Jesus, are ya able to talk any sense into him?" Daryl asked as Jesus shook his head. "He's paranoid and a coward. It's a dangerous combination."

   Sasha approached the window, leaning against it. "I know we need you outside the walls, but is there someone that you trust here that can keep an eye on him?"

   "Yeah, there are a few people I can talk to."  


   After Talia had gone back to the Sanctuary, she met with Aaron to start planning their excursion to the naval base. When he knocked on her door, she was still studying the map, coming up with several routes in case the Saviors were in control of the roads, and also to avoid any large groups of walkers.

   When they were satisfied with their plans, she wished him a good night and told him that she'd be ready by dawn. Flipping off her lights, she headed upstairs to bed. Her thoughts turned to Daryl as she watched the moon get higher in the sky. They had decided to pick him and Jesus up in the morning to go with them to see if they could clear the military housing first before tackling the actual base. She knew he was going stir crazy being away from Alexandria, and it wasn't in his nature to hide away while everyone else was taking risks. Still, she worried that Negan would find him and take him away again. 

   The next morning, her bird was chirping before the sun even rose, alerting her that it was time to get up. Crumbling up some crackers that sat beside her bed, Talia opened the window and set the crumbs on the windowsill as a gesture of peace before heading into the shower. When she was dressed and ready, she headed to the kitchen, making some coffee and pouring it into a thermos to take with her.

   The sun was just coming up when she walked to the armory, knocking on the door. After a few moments, Tobin stumbled to the door with a sleep-lined face and wispy pieces of hair sticking up every which way. Smiling apologetically, she reminded him that they were going out to look for supplies today. As he opened the door wider, she stepped into the foyer, waiting for him to show her to the weapons room, which was just off to the right of the door. 

   Talia began to pull out several guns, along with every box of ammunition that could be used with them, writing down an inventory of everything that they would be taking. Opening the closet door, she pulled two large duffel bags out and began packing up the supplies. Tobin came back in as she was finishing up, and he helped her drag them out towards the RV. Thanking him, Talia watched as he walked back towards the house, closing the door softly behind him.

   In a matter of minutes, the rest of the group came shuffling out of their houses. Rick and Michonne were first, and they helped her put one bag in the RV and the other in the SUV that Aaron would be driving. Chatting quietly, they waited as Aaron came ambling up the street, yawning as he walked. Tara was the last to arrive, moving swiftly as she pulled her hair back into a ponytail. 

   When everyone was accounted for, Holly opened the gate, with Aaron and Tara moving out first, followed by Rick, Michonne, and Talia. As they drove towards the Hilltop, Talia went over the map with Michonne, showing her where the base and housing were located, right on the Potomac River. She and Gina had a few friends that lived there when they were growing up, and she knew the compound well. It was a gated community, and with any luck, the walls were still intact. 

   They arrived at the Hilltop around a half an hour later, and Jesus and Daryl settled in the RV while Talia rode up front. The trip took around four hours, and they had to take several detours due to roads being blocked and one rather large herd. The sun was blazing overhead when they finally reached the Potomac, and after a brief debate, they decided to take the 14th Street Bridge across the river. Twice they had to get out to move cars that were blocking the way as well as take out some stragglers that had been trapped.

   While they made their way towards the housing, Michonne and Daryl kept watch for any living people, but the area seemed to be dead to the world. When they were a mile out from the area, they pulled the vehicles behind a large shopping center, parking in the bay area until they were sure that the trip wasn't a waste of time. 

   Setting off on foot, they kept to side streets, which were overgrown, with most of the houses having already been broken into. They agreed to sweep the houses if the trip proved to be fruitless, and Talia stopped frequently to make notes on the map. When the large swath of homes came into view, Rick led them to a dense patch of trees that lined the outlying houses. 

   Crouching together, they watched and listened for any signs of life, but all they heard were the groans of the dead. Daryl unzipped one of the bags, pulling out guns and ammunition for everyone. Tucking one of the guns into her back waistband, Talia motioned for everyone to follow her as she jogged towards the wall. They walked silently in a single file for several minutes until the reached the main road into the community. 

   The large wrought iron gates were still up and had been locked with a large chain. As Jesus brought up the bolt cutters that he had thankfully brought, several walkers in military fatigues had begun to notice their presence and started towards them. Rick told Jesus to hold up on opening the gates so that they could take them out first. The seven lined up along the gate, using knives to kill the approaching dead. 

   When the number of walkers died down to just a few, Rick gave Jesus the signal to cut the chain, and it hit the ground with a clatter. Opening the gate slowly, the group collected the guns on the military walkers before moving in a loose circle down the street that curved to the right. 

   There were two-story and ranch houses interspersed together, and they went in teams of two and three along the street. Surprisingly, there were far fewer walkers in the development than Talia had anticipated, and she figured that they had been evacuated before things got really bad. After clearing the first dozen or so houses, Rick decided that it was safe enough to bring in the vehicles, so Tara and Aaron volunteered to go and get them. 

   While they were gone, the remaining group split up to start gathering anything of use that they could find. Talia told them to check bedrooms for gun safes, along with any offices. She and Daryl took the first house on the right while Michonne, Rick, and Jesus took the left side of the street. 

   Daryl turned the knob on their house, and they found it unlocked. When they entered, they knocked on the door, waiting for any walkers, but the house was empty. Moving quickly, they found two guns and a box of shells, along with a cupboard full of canned food, and several large knives. Packing everything into a large tote they found in the garage, they dragged it out, depositing it at the curb before moving on.

   At each house they hit, the drill was the same. Cardboard boxes, totes, garbage bags, and suitcases were filled with food, weapons, batteries, first aid supplies and even packets of seeds. They continued to work until the sun set, finally calling it a day back at the first house they cleared. Daryl and Rick got the garage door open, pulling the SUV inside before shutting it up tight. The RV they pulled in between the two houses, and Jesus went back to the gate, putting the chain back on before tying the links in a loose knot.

   Settling in the living room, each person took a can of food, tearing into it with abandon. They had worked hard, and were rewarded with plenty of rations for Alexandria, and the Saviors, should they decide to take it. So far on their visits, they had only taken guns and medical supplies, along with any furniture and decor that struck their fancy. After an intense discussion, they decided to go to the base armory in the morning to scope it out, and if it was too overrun, they would return to the housing community to continue there. 

   Since the area was basically untouched they agreed that groups would come back every few days to scavenge as much as they could. After the sun set, Rick and Michonne said their goodnights and took the master bedroom. Jesus and Aaron offered to stay in the living room to keep watch, and Tara shuffled off to the third bedroom. Linking hands, Talia and Daryl took the second largest bedroom, which housed a queen sized bed. Minutes after making love, they were sound asleep with the windows open as a warm summer breeze blew through. 

When the gates to Alexandria came into sight, Talia let out a sigh of relief. The RV was packed to the roof with supplies, and the SUV was pulling a trailer that they had located. After a close call at the armory, they decided that they had done well enough to head back. The sheer number of weapons that they had acquired surpassed everyone's expectations, and Rick had planned on heading back as soon as they had their next visit from the Saviors, not wanting to have too much food and supplies on hand to arouse suspicion. 

   When they pulled in, they began the process of directing the residents to unload the vehicles. Gabriel and Holly took charge of the weapons, taking half to the sewers, and the other half to an empty grave to be buried until they needed them. 

   Before they could begin to unload them, Rosita came running out of the pantry, calling for Rick to come inside. Shooting a look at Michonne, he moved swiftly towards the house with Talia, Michonne, and Tara hot on his heels. 

   Leading them down to the basement, she unlocked the cell that Morgan had built, and stepping out into the dim light with his hands up was Dwight, one of Negan's lieutenants. Before anyone could say anything, Rick rushed him, slamming him against the wall with his gun pointed directly between Dwight's eyes.

   "What the hell is he doing here?" he growled at Rosita. 

   "He showed up here yesterday," Rosita began, but Rick cocked his gun, touching it to Dwight's forehead. "Why?" he demanded, gripping the scarred man tighter.

   Talia inched forward, watching him closely.

   "Because I want to help you take Negan out," he explained.

  _It was a good day, indeed._


	18. Chapter 18

  
**Gina**

 

   Gina rolled over in Negan's bed as he let out a sleepy mumble. She had spent the night with him after returning from Alexandria, though she didn't get much sleep. Guilt over her sister and her overreaction to thinking one of the other girls was with him kept her from being truly comfortable. She was never one for jealousy, so she didn't know why it had bothered her all of a sudden. Maybe it was just because she felt vulnerable after reliving her separation from Talia and the attacks by the men who took her.

   Whatever the reason, she looked back on the previous evening with shame and an anger at her weakness where Negan was concerned. The worst thing that could happen to her would be to fall in love with him, knowing that her sister had suffered at his hands.

   Holding her breath, she eased out of the bed, anxious to get outside and run to clear her head. He stirred slightly before rolling onto his side, with his back facing her. Gina picked up her clothes and hurriedly put them on before tiptoeing towards the door. As she passed Leticia's door, it opened with a creak as Leticia stuck her head out. Her eyes narrowed as she made eye contact with Gina before glancing towards Negan's room. Gina ignored her as she continued down the hall.

   Leticia's reaction pissed her off at first, since just the other day, she and Lexie were cowering in fear of him. Then the unsettling realization that she had just done the exact same thing the night before caused her cheeks to burn as she opened her door.

   Roughly stripping her clothes back off, Gina rummaged around in her drawer for a pair of shorts and a running bra. She had forgotten she had it when she started running, but there it was, tucked into the back of her regular bras. After lacing up she shoes, she pulled her hair into a ponytail before heading back out into the hall before opening the metal door to the steps as softly as she could.

   When she entered the cafeteria, there were only a few people there, including Dwight. He was hunched over a table by the door, and his hair was hanging in his face. After grabbing a bottle of water, she sat down next to him, causing him to look up quickly. When he saw it was Gina, he jerked his head towards the door before standing up and walking out.

   Gina waited a minute before following him out into the yard. After she caught up to him, they began to walk side by side. He had a cut below his right eye, and he was still wearing the same clothes as the day before.

   "When did he let you out?" she asked as they both stared at the fence ahead of them.

   "Yesterday," he told her, lighting up a cigarette. He offered her one, but she declined since she was going to run when they were done talking. "He sent me out to look for Sherry."

   "Did you find her?" Gina questioned, both hopeful and afraid of his answer.

   "She left me a note at our old place," Dwight said in a robotic voice. "Apologized for putting me in the position I'm currently occupying." There was an undertone of bitterness to his words. "She's the one who let Daryl out. I compared the writing to the note I found in his cell."

   Gina could only nod as she swallowed the lump in her throat. She knew that Sherry's guilt was eating her up inside and that releasing him was her way to atone for leaving him in the woods.

   Even though she knew the answer, she had to ask. "Are you going to tell Negan?"

   Dwight stopped walking, and Gina turned to face him. "I love her. I can't do that to her. The only way she'll be safe is if he thinks she's dead and that someone else did it."

   Neither one needed to say anything, because they both knew that someone had to pay. The only question was who, and Gina didn't want to know. Negan would never let something like this go.

   "I'm so sorry, Dwight," she told him in a trembling voice. He had lost his wife, and she lost her friend, but Sherry had gotten away from a situation that she could no longer tolerate. The shitty part was that Dwight was left to clean up the mess. And now he was truly alone.

   As they parted, Gina went over to the wall to stretch her muscles, trying to clear her head. When she was warmed up, she popped her headphones in, turning her iPod up loudly enough to drown out her thoughts and began to jog. She ignored the people milling around, she ignored the walkers around the fence, and she ignored the raindrops that were falling from the sky. The fourth time around the building, people began to leave her a path to run through, and she began to push herself faster and faster until she was in a full on run.

   Her lungs were burning when she finally noticed that one of the guards was waving her down. As she pulled her earphones out, the man told her that Negan wanted everyone in the furnace room. Even though she was drenched and sweaty, she felt a chill on her skin as she began to follow the crowd into the factory. Negan only pulled the community into the furnace room for one reason, to witness a punishment.

   When she walked in, everyone was gathered in a semicircle around the large furnace, which was burning brightly. Negan was dressed in his full regalia, including his jacket and holding Lucille. Dwight was stoking the fire, and one of the irons was sitting on a rack, turning a glowing orange. Lexie and Leticia were positioned near the front of the group, and several men were lined up to the right of them. On the balcony above them, Laura, one of Negan's henchwomen, was forcing a portly man with a mullet to watch the crowd. The man was visibly upset and he kept trying to turn his head.

   When she turned back around, she saw Negan watching her, and he motioned for her to join the other wives. His eyes narrowed when he saw what she was wearing, but he made no other overtures towards her. Lexie and Leticia were fully dressed and made up, but both were shaking slightly as they waited for the spectacle to begin.

   In his booming voice, Negan began to speak as he made a circuit around the edge of the crowd. "We have a rat on our ship," he began as he looked from person to person. "And I don't fucking like rats. They're filthy, they're greedy, and they will take what doesn't belong to them."

   Dwight kept his back towards Negan as he spoke, and Gina wrapped her arms around herself as she watched him perform for the crowd, with his eyes gleaming. He held his bat up as he walked towards the men that were lined up. Stopping in front of Dr. Carson, the man who took care of her when she came into the Sanctuary, Negan smiled a sinister grin at him.

   Out of nowhere, the bat swung out, striking Dr. Carson's arm with a sickening crack as the man screamed, his legs buckling. The Saviors on either side of him pulled him back up as Negan hit him again, this time in the leg. Several women started to whimper as the doctor began to cry. "I didn't do anything," he pleaded as Negan handed the bat off. Fishing a piece of paper out of his pocket, he flashed it in the doctor's face.

   "You let my prisoner go, you piece of shit. You had a thing for Sherry, and you let him go because you thought it would score you some points. You knew she was upset about Daryl being here, didn't you?"

   "No!" Dr. Carson cried, "Sherry did it! She let him go. That's why she ran away."

   Gina felt nails digging into her arm, and she looked down to see Lexie's fingers clinging to her. Pulling her arm free with some effort, she reached down and took Lexie's hand, squeezing it tightly. When she glanced back up, she saw that Negan had put on the large glove, and was holding the iron just inches from the injured doctor's face.

   "Sherry told Dwight that you did it, just before she was torn to pieces. You were obsessed with her, and she ran because she knew that she would get blamed. Now," Negan said, holding the iron closer, "tell the truth."

   The threat of an iron was too much for Dr. Carson, and he confessed to a crime that she and Dwight knew he did not commit. "I did it," he sobbed. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. Please don't burn me. I'll do anything to make it up to you."

   It was so quiet in the room, that Gina could hear her own heartbeat as Negan slowly retracted the iron before finally dropping it with a metallic clatter. Placing his hand on Carson's shoulder, he smiled at the man before dragging him over to the furnace and tossing him in. Gina's eyes closed and her mouth filled with bile as Dr. Carson screamed in agony for several seconds before finally going quiet.

   "Now he's made it up to me," Negan told the crowd, who were staring in stunned silence. "Let this be a reminder that there are rules. It doesn't matter if you are a fucking doctor or a floor sweeper. If you break the rules, a price must be paid. Now get back to work," he barked as the crowd began to scatter.

   Gina barely noticed when Lexie dropped her hand and followed Leticia back towards the steps. She was still staring at the furnace, but not really seeing anything. Dr. Carson was completely innocent, and he'd paid the ultimate price for Sherry's actions. She felt like an accomplice to murder, complicit with Dwight to cover for Sherry. It was something that she would likely never forget, or forgive in herself. But if Dwight had been honest, Negan would have searched for the rest of his life to bring Sherry back.

   Warm hands on her shoulders brought her back to her senses, and she turned around to see that it was Negan. Unable to speak, she backed away from him before taking off towards the steps. She ran up them two at a time before sprinting towards her bathroom. Flipping up the lid, she vomited in the toilet, retching until her stomach hurt and her eyes began to water. When she was sure that she was done, she flushed the toilet before turning on the water.

   Gina scrubbed herself until she was raw, trying to cleanse herself of everything the witnessed, and her guilt. It was still early in the morning, and she dreaded spending the day in the lounge. She needn't have worried, because when she walked into her room, Negan was waiting for her.

   "Are you all right?" he asked, in an irritated voice, which only raised her own hackles.

   "I'm just dandy," she lied. "I found out Sherry is dead, and I watched the doctor who saved me get burnt alive."

   "Oh for fuck's sake," he snapped. "He let a fucking prisoner escape, one who could have killed dozens of people. Am I just supposed to let that go?" Negan stalked over towards her, getting in her face. "And as for Sherry, she brought it on herself. She was perfectly safe here, and she chose to run off."

   Gina stared up at him. "Are you really that heartless? Please tell me you're not."

   "I'm fucking practical, Gina."

   "So human lives mean nothing to you? As long as everyone is cowering in fear, you're all set."

   Leaning even closer, she couldn't mistake the anger and superiority in his gaze. "Fear is what keeps this place running. In fact, a little more trepidation on your part would go a long way. You're starting to forget your place in this compound."

   "Fuck you."

   Without warning, Negan spun around, grabbing her water glass off of the dresser and flinging it at the wall. "Do you think this is a fucking joke?" he yelled, causing her to jump. "I own you. Every fucking one of you."

   Gina dropped her towel, walking over to her dresser, grabbing the plainest bra and panties she owned. She could hear him breathing heavily while she pulled a pair of jeans and black t-shirt out, stepping into them quickly. After putting on socks and her boots, she went into the bathroom, grabbing her brush, whipping it through her hair so hard that she pulled out several strands of hair.

   When she was done, she stepped back into the bedroom where he was still standing with his fists clenched. She surprised herself by how calm her voice was, but deep down, she knew she could drop him with one shot to the throat if he so much as laid one finger on her.

   "You can take your 'marriage' and shove it up your ass. You are a psychotic piece of shit. I don't care if you have me digging ditches, or if you bash me with your bat. Anything would be better than putting up with you."

   The threat of death was worth it just to see the look on his face. Gina watched him go from anger to surprise to hurt.

   "Where are you going?" he asked as she whipped the door open.

   She half expected him to chase her down, but he didn't. So she kept walking. As she started down the steps, she began to shake, and her guilt led her to the basement. By the time she hit the bottom floor, she had started to cry, and she saw Dwight come around the corner. He took her by the arms, asking her what happened, but she told him she wanted to go to Daryl's cell.

   Dwight at first refused, until she started to hyperventilate, and he finally led her by the hand down the hall to the last cell at the end of the basement. Unlocking the door, he opened it and she walked in, collapsing in a heap in the corner.

   "Close it please," she begged him as she pulled her knees up to her chest.

   "Have you lost your mind?" he asked her as he knelt down.

   "Yes, I have," she said as she put her head down. He stayed next to her for several minutes before finally standing up. She heard the door close slowly, shutting with a clank as the darkness swallowed her up. The only thing she could see were the images of Dr. Carson being thrown into the fire, Sherry's face the night she told Gina that she was leaving, and her sister's shocked expression when she realized that Gina cared about Negan. A man who was incapable of love and true tenderness. A man who looked at her as an object. Something to be controlled and used. A man who would always care more about power than people, especially her.

   He could never punish her any more than she could punish herself. She couldn't take back any of her choices, but her self-imposed incarceration was a start. Gina curled up on her side and cried herself to sleep.


	19. Chapter 19

 

   Dwight pulled the truck off to the side of the road, turning off the ignition as Gina stepped out, her gun in her holster and her knife at hand. This was their third trip out looking for supplies. Unfortunately for her, Negan was also on this run.

   The morning after she slept in the cell, the door opened, flooding the meager room with daylight as Dwight knelt down, shaking her gently. Gina woke with a start, sitting up slowly as she got her bearings.

   "Come on," he told her, helping her to her feet. "I've got a room set up for you."

   Shuffling after him, Gina stopped when she entered the hall, stretching to shake out the ache in her muscles from sleeping on the concrete floor. When she straightened up, she saw that Dwight was waiting for her at the end of the hall. Moving slowly, she caught up to him with a yawn. She had spent most of the night thinking about Negan, before resolving to move on. She deserved better than being someone's third choice.

   Dwight led her to the second floor and showed her to a plain room with a bed, dresser, and chair. There was a small pile of clothes sitting on the bed, along with basic toiletries. After closing the door behind them, Dwight sat on the bed as Gina leaned against the door.

   "I was able to convince him to let me have you," Dwight told her as her eyebrows rose. "I mean, on my team for runs," he added quickly, his face turning red.

   "Thank you, Dwight," Gina said. "I don't even know what to say."

   "He's not happy, Gina," he told her seriously as she came to sit next to him. "No one refuses him."

  "His life will be much easier without having to put up with me," she replied, looking down at her hands. "I wasn't cut out for that gig, anyway."

   Dwight looked at her with a smirk. "Yeah, you don't seem like the type that would."

   "Trust me, he'll find a few young girls that will hang on his every action and feed his enormous ego and forget all about me. The world is full of sycophants. Besides, I'm ready to get back out there. I'm sick of doing nothing all day."

   "Glad to hear it," Dwight said as he stood up, "cause we're making a run in a half an hour. Will that give you enough time to get ready?"

   "More than enough," she assured him as he reached into his pocket and produced a few granola bars. "I'll see you downstairs," he replied before leaving.

   After he left, Gina stood up and began to put her things away before grabbing some clean clothes and her bathroom supplies. The showers on the second floor were shitty, but they came with freedom. She garnered a few looks and whispers when she entered, but no one gave her any trouble. She could only imagine the rumors that would fly around, but there was nothing she could do. She knew that Negan's pride wouldn't let him look like he was left, so she was sure that everyone would be told that he had her moved. She didn't give a shit, as long as she didn't have to interact with him that much.

   After braiding her freshly washed hair, she headed down the steps and through the cafeteria towards the outside. Sure enough, Dwight was there, along with six other men who were in his crew. She only knew a few of them, but she noticed a brand new one eyeballing her as she walked over. He was young, handsome, and built like a wrestler. Dwight introduced him as Sergio, and he had beautiful caramel skin, pale blue eyes, and a shaved head.

   Sergio shook her hand while the others nodded their heads. After the introductions, Dwight produced a map, telling them that they were heading to a housing development that was about three hours away. Another one of Negan's groups had scouted it out and deemed it safe, so they were going to retrieve anything of value.

   When all the directions were understood, the group split off into two groups of four. Dwight motioned for her to take the passenger seat, and Gina climbed in, her stomach buzzing with excitement. Other than her trip to Alexandria, this was the only other time she had been permitted to leave the Sanctuary. Sergio and Daniel, one of Dwight's longtime scouts settled themselves into the back.

   "Stay with me until I'm sure you can handle yourself," Dwight cautioned as they made their way out of the gates. Gina smiled as she looked out the window, unrolling it so that she could feel the breeze. "I think you'll be pleasantly surprised at how I can handle myself," she said softly.

   About halfway to their destination, she turned around to face the men in the back. "When did you arrive at the Sanctuary?" she asked Sergio politely.

   "About two weeks ago," he replied as she fought to hide a smile. He had a dusky voice with a slight twang to it, and his teeth were pearly white. "How long have you been there?" Sergio questioned as Daniel let out a small chuckle. Sergio looked from Gina to Daniel in mild confusion, as if he had been left out of a joke.

   "I've been there about six months or so," she told him before giving Daniel a scowl. She knew he didn't mean any harm, but she didn't want these guys to think she was some pampered princess, even though that's all they probably knew her as. They would find out soon enough that she could handle herself. Gina turned herself around as she caught Dwight looking at her out of the corner of her eye, and she remained silent for the rest of the trip.

   Their destination ended up being a few streets with large Tudor homes. As Dwight pulled over along the curb, two walkers came around the side of the house, and Gina jumped out. "Do you mind?" she asked, gesturing towards them. "I need the practice."

   Dwight nodded casually as she turned and aimed, hitting the first one in the throat and the second just above the right eye. Aiming again at the first walker, she hit him right between the eyes, and it dropped on top of the second walker. Gina let out a cleansing breath as she turned back to the truck. All three men were staring at her in surprise.

   The rest of the men got out, and the second truck pulled up as Gina scanned the area. The sound of the gunshots alerted the other walkers, who came streaming towards them from all directions. She and the others continued firing, clearing them in short order before heading to the first house. Daniel sidled up next to her as they walked up the debris littered driveway. "I'm starting to think your talents were wasted on the top floor," he said in a joking voice as Sergio turned around to look at her.

   "Daniel, shut the fuck up," Dwight snapped at him as they continued on, but Gina wasn't bothered. She knew that they would give her a hard time, and she was prepared.

 

   When the houses were cleared, they headed back towards the Sanctuary, loaded down with guns, food, a water filtration system, plenty of clothes that would go to the commissary and several boxes of ammunition. They also found two swords that were hung on the mantle of the last house they searched, which Sergio handled with ease.

   Gina was smiling to herself as the gates of the Sanctuary opened until she saw that Negan was standing outside talking to Simon. Her hands clenched into tight fists as Dwight pulled into his usual spot, waiting until Sergio and Daniel got out before he addressed her. "You can go into the cafeteria," he offered as she shook her head.

  "I'm good," she told him as she stepped out, walking immediately to the bed of the truck where Sergio and Daniel were lowering the tailgate. She could feel Negan's eyes on her as she started grabbing supplies. Sergio, completely oblivious, offered her a smile. "You were impressive out there," he told her as she glanced up at him. "I've never seen a woman that could shoot that well."

   Her stomach was in knots as she could feel Negan observing them, but she fought through it, flashing Sergio a warm smile. "Thanks," she told him as she stepped around him. "It felt good to be out there," she said as she passed by Negan without sparing him a glance. The back of her neck burned as she followed Dwight towards the bay area to drop off her loot. Handing it off to one of the workers, she made her way back to the truck, where Negan was still standing.

   He was still watching her with a guarded expression as she got closer to him, so she did what she knew would piss him off. Gina smiled the most brilliant smile she could, looking him in the eye as she passed him. By the third trip, she could almost see the anger radiating off of him in waves. She knew deep down that he expected her to fail and to be miserable and come crawling back to him. But he was in for a rude awakening. When she told him that he didn't know her at all, she knew that it was true. It would be cold day in hell before she begged him for anything.

   When the bed was empty, she started walking towards the cafeteria. Someone called her name, and she stopped, turning around abruptly. It was Sergio, and he jogged towards her as Negan stared daggers at the two of them. "Are you going to grab some dinner?" he asked as she nodded with a smile. "Do you mind if I join you? Some of the folks around here don't seem too friendly."

   "Sure," she replied as they started back towards the building. They lined up behind a growing group of people who were waiting to be fed. Gina watched as some of Dwight's group pushed their way to the front, but she and Sergio waited patiently for their turn. As she looked around, she could see a lot of the younger women watching Sergio as he leaned against the wall. He was by far one of the most attractive men in the Sanctuary, and he unintentionally drew attention to himself because he exuded sensuality. The combination of his eyes, his full lips, and his southern charm were enough to draw anyone in. Gina didn't know him at all, but he didn't seem aware of his effect on the opposite sex like Negan did.

   After grabbing their trays, they sat at a round table by the kitchen, chatting quietly as they ate. Gina learned that he was the youngest of five brothers, the last of which perished a few months before. He had been raised in Charleston by a single mother, and he and his brothers had been trying to reach Washington, like many others who mistakenly thought that D.C. would have a handle on the outbreak. He had also had a girlfriend who was one of the first people he saw turn. She had been bitten by a neighbor during the early chaos.

  Though he was younger than Gina, she sensed that he possessed an old soul, and he seemed to want to get to know her. She told him that she had a twin and that they had been separated, but she didn't tell him that Talia was at Alexandria. They continued to talk long after they were done eating, and he carried both of their trays back before walking her up to the second floor. After bidding her a goodnight, she watched him as he walked down the hall, his large shoulders moving from side to side before he disappeared around the corner.

    She and Sergio ended up eating dinner together after the second run as well, which ended up the same way as the first. Negan was waiting for them as they returned, overseeing the second delivery. This time, Gina was much less affected as she worked without any nervousness. That was until as she and Sergio were sitting together, talking over empty dishes, Negan came walking in, with two young blonde girls, one on each arm. He never looked at Gina, but they were obviously his new playthings, and they were dressed in skintight dresses with makeup plastered all over their faces. She knew that this was all for her to witness.

   Sergio had his back towards Negan, but he saw her face harden and he glanced over his shoulder before turning back around quickly. "Would you like to sit outside for a while?" he offered gently as she composed herself.

   "I don't want to keep you if you have other plans," she said as she looked down at the table.

   "I would be honored," he said in his lilting twang as he stood up to return their trays. Standing up, they walked towards the door as Sergio placed his hand on her back to gently guide her. They had to pass by Negan and his new girls to get to the door, and it took everything in her to look unaffected. He was leaning over and whispering to the blonde with large breasts as they passed, and she let out a throaty giggle.

   When they were directly past Negan and his spectacle, she felt Sergio's hand move from her back to snake around her waist, causing her spine to tingle. Without a backward glance, the two walked out the door, moving leisurely towards the picnic tables that stood near the gardens. They sat side by side in silence until Sergio cleared his throat.

   "By all means, correct me if I'm wrong, but I have the distinct feeling that display was entirely for your benefit."

   Gina laughed bitterly as she watched the sun sink below the horizon. "Yeah, well, I'm sure you've heard I come with a lot of baggage."

   "Tell me," he said simply as Gina glanced at him. He was watching her with a serene expression. When she turned back to face the evening sky, she began to talk. She told him about being separated from her sister, and Negan's rescue of her. Continuing on, she explained how he offered her a position as one of his wives, and how it never bothered her until recently, and his anger and callousness with Dwight and Dr. Carson. Finally, she told him about their final conversation and his proclamation that he owned her. After she was done speaking, he watched her thoughtfully for a moment.

   "So, he's hurt."

   "Hurt? No. Negan just doesn't like losing. He doesn't have feelings. Certainly not with women."

   "If you say so," Sergio replied doubtfully. "You know him better than I do."

   "Anyways," she said, "I'm sure the rumors are that he got tired of me and traded up, but I don't give a shit."

   "He definitely didn't trade up, in my humble opinion."

   Gina smiled as her cheeks grew hot. Why couldn't she have met Sergio when she arrived? Because life was a cruel joke, that's why.

   When the stars started to shine overhead, Sergio stood up, extending his hand to her. Grasping it, she stood up, and he kissed her gently on the lips before saying goodnight. Gina sat back down as she watched him walk around the corner. His lips were soft, and she resumed looking up at the sky as her heart began to ache.

   The next morning, Dwight knocked at her door, and his face was concerned as he told her that Negan would be leading the day's trip. That was how she found herself standing behind him as he barked out orders before the group set off into the standalone WalMart that they had driven four hours to search. He hadn't spoken to her, and she fell into step alongside Dwight as they followed him towards the doors.

   Six of the men had arrived before them to clear the parking lot, and there were clusters of walkers lined up at the glass doors, their hands smacking on them as they waited for an easy meal.

   Once everyone was positioned and ready to shoot, Negan swung at the doors, and they shattered with an ear piercing screech. He backed up quickly as the horde stumbled out, and Gina drowned everything out as she began shooting. She didn't even notice that Negan had come to stand beside her, concentrating only on the threat in front of her. One by one, walkers dropped to the asphalt until the threat had thinned out considerably.

   Holstering her gun, Gina pulled out her knife and stepped forward, stabbing any walker that approached in the head. Simon took charge at that point, directing four of the men into the building to sweep for any stragglers that remained. While they waited, Negan walked in slow circles, his bat moving back and forth as he eyed the remaining men and Gina. As he passed by Sergio, she noticed that he gripped the bat tighter. Before she could even react, Simon gave the all clear, and they started into the building.

   Grabbing a buggy, Gina made her way down the beauty aisle, tossing in shampoo, conditioner, lotion, soap and razors. She also pulled down feminine supplies for the women of the Sanctuary. She herself had gotten one of those birth control implants just before the world fell apart, though she knew it wouldn't be effective much longer. Electric lanterns were used so that they could see, and as she rounded the corner, she turned up an aisle that was housing Negan.

   He was standing there reading the back of condom packages, one in each hand. Without a word, Gina pulled out her gun, aiming it at his head. He looked up as she cocked the trigger, and his face was pure shock as she stared him down.

   "Duck," she told him as he bent down, and she fired, hitting the walker that was moving quietly behind him. Negan stood, looking back and forth between her and the walker so quickly, that it would have made her laugh if she wasn't so pissed off.  Quickly she turned around, going into the next aisle as she set her gun in the buggy.

   When the cart was overflowing with supplies, she pushed it towards the front, where Daniel was waiting to take it over to the trucks. Continuing the same drill over and over, she was able to avoid Negan the rest of the time, finally wandering back to the pharmacy to see how Sergio was making out. He and Dwight had cleared most of the shelves, and they were running out of room in the trucks.

   Simon called out to round everyone up, and she dutifully took one of the smaller baskets, walking between the two men as they made their way to the front of the building. After handing off the meds, the three set off towards their truck. Gina leaned against the door, chatting quietly with Sergio while they waited for Negan to tell them to head home.

   After a half an hour, he finally waved everyone away, and they set off towards the Sanctuary. Gina put her feet up on the dashboard while Sergio and Daniel talked in the back seat amongst themselves. Leaning her head back, she watched the scenery as it sped by, her eyes closing gradually.

   The jerk of the truck coming to a stop woke her, and she sat up, blinking rapidly. Since it had taken them so long to get there and back, it was already dark. "Sorry, Dwight," she mumbled, rubbing at her eyes. "I'm a shitty co-pilot."

   He chuckled as they opened their doors. "It's all good," he told her as they started to unload the bed. As they were carrying their last load, Negan and Simon pulled in, parking alongside them. Men poured out, descending on the remaining trucks to gather the supplies.

   Gina was walking to the factory when she felt a tug on her arm. Looking back, she saw that it was Negan, and she pulled Away from him. "I'd like to see you in my office after you eat," he told her before walking off.

   Rolling her eyes, she walked angrily into the cafeteria which was deserted. There were sandwiches lined up at the serving area, and she took two, one for her and one for Sergio along with two bottles of water. He came in a few moments later, and seeing that she had food waiting for him, he gave her a big smile. Dwight joined them, and they ate in a comfortable silence. There had been talk of returning to the store the following day, but they were being given the day off instead. Gina looked forward to sleeping in, and it was with regret that she said goodnight to the two men.

   Sergio offered to walk Gina to her room as Dwight averted his eyes, but she declined, touching him on the shoulder lightly before she left. She didn't want him to know that she had been summoned upstairs. Climbing with tired legs, she opened the door to his floor, and it was the first time she had set foot there since she left.

   The two new wives were just coming out of the lounge as she walked past, and the big breasted blonde nudged her friend. "Look, Stacey, it's the ex." The other one giggled as Gina threw them a flirty smile.

   "Are you enjoying my sloppy seconds?" she asked as she continued on. One of them gasped, but she wasn't sure which since she didn't bother to look back. When she reached Negan's door, she knocked twice. He called out for her to enter, and she opened the door to find him sitting at his desk, with a pile of papers in front of him.

  He motioned for her to have a seat, and she did just that, crossing her legs as they watched each other warily.

   "You wanted to see me?" she finally prompted, anxious to get on with it. With a slight shake of his head, he laid down the pen he was holding.

   "I wanted to thank you," he said as he leaned back. "I wasn't paying attention, but you were."

   "You're welcome," she told him evenly. "Picking out condoms is serious business. I understand completely."

   He bristled at her words, and she could swear that he flinched slightly. "Just stop," he snapped as she cocked her head. "You chose to leave."

   "Yes, I did," she murmured agreeably. "Is there anything else you needed?"

   With a sigh, he stood up, making his way around the desk to stand in front of her. Gina leaned back slightly as she gazed up at him. "I'm sorry," he muttered as he focused on her lips. "I didn't mean what I said."

   "Yes you did," she replied just as softly. "And it doesn't matter anymore. You are who you are, Negan. Just embrace it."

   His lifted his gaze from her lips to her eyes as he studied her, probably trying to decipher some hidden meaning to her words. "I want you to come back," he said slowly as he watched her reaction.

   With a sad smile, Gina uncrossed her legs and stood up, her heart starting to beat rapidly. "I'm not the girl for you. You want someone that I can never be. That's why you went right for two girls just like Lexie and Leticia. And I deserve more. I'm finally getting it that I deserve more."

   He didn't stop her as she walked towards the door. Without looking at him, she spoke again. "You saved my life, and I'll be grateful to you forever." Her hands started to shake as she finally admitted her deepest, darkest secret, that she had tried to stuff down for so long.What she had spent the entire night in the cell thinking. "I think that I probably love you, even. But I deserve better than to play second, third or even fourth fiddle. I need someone that cares as much for me as I do for them."

   Before he could reply, she opened the door and closed it, walking quickly down the steps for hopefully the last time.


	20. Chapter 20

   "Good morning!"

   Gina came to a stop in front of Sergio, who was leaning against one of the trucks in the bay. He was wearing jeans, boots, and a pale green t-shirt. His arms were crossed, causing his large muscles to stretch out the fabric, and he looked absolutely mouth watering.

   She was in the middle of a run, but she decided to take a break.

   "Good morning, yourself," she said with a smile. Gina was wearing shorts and a tank top, having found a fresh pile of clothes in her room after lunch. Someone had also redecorated her room in creams and browns, with a plush new bedspread and pictures while she was out in the gardens working with Gretchen. She had decided to keep the clothes since they were practical, but she packed up the rest in a garbage bag that she took from the housekeeping crew, dragging it down to the commissary. The woman who kept the ledger book had tried to refuse, clearly afraid of upsetting Negan, but Gina wouldn't be dissuaded. She knew he was trying to make himself feel better, but she didn't need any of his gifts, except for the clothes.

   "I can't believe you're running in this weather," Sergio told her as she stretched her legs. It was probably in the mid-nineties, and she was drenched.

   "Ah, it feels great," she joked as she took a sip of water. "What have you been up to today?"

  "I've spent most of the day working on one of the trucks. They were short a few guys, and I volunteered to help out."

   "Jack of all trades, huh?"

   Sergio smiled as he pushed himself up, coming to stand in front of her. "Something like that." He had a light pink tint to his cheeks that made his blue eyes stand out even more, and she felt the sudden desire to touch him, so much so that she actually had to put her hands behind her back in order to keep them to herself.

   "Did you have plans this evening?" he inquired with an impish grin. Gina chuckled before answering. "Well, I was going to go to the mall, but seeing how it's overrun with dead people, I guess I'll just stay here. Why? What's up?"

   "I thought we could hang out if you're free."

   "I'd like that," she told him with an uncharacteristic shy smile. "If you can find a bottle of whiskey, I'll meet you at the back picnic table at seven."

   "It's a date," he told her with a grin. "I'll see you there."

   With a wave, she took off running again, heading back outside with a stupid grin on her face. It had been years since someone asked her out, and she felt a tickle in her belly at how charming Sergio was. She was still grinning when she came around the front of the building and nearly mowed Negan down, who was just walking out with Simon. He put his hands out to steady her as she bounced off of him.

   "Sorry," she muttered as he let her go. Simon continued to walk on as he stood in front of her. He looked tired, and she almost asked him if everything was okay before biting her tongue. He opened his mouth to speak before closing it again, his features clouding over.

   Uncomfortable, she took a step back. "Well, if you'll excuse me," her voice trailed off as she prepared to move.

   "Did you-," he stopped before starting over. "I had some things sent to your room. I hope you like them better than the pink stuff." Gina was at a loss for what to say. She had never seen him act so awkward in the entire time she had been at the Sanctuary. Swallowing hard, she tried to make her voice as polite as possible.

   "Thank you for the clothes. They're very useful. But I sent the furnishings back to the commissary. I appreciate the generosity, but I'm really not in any need of anything like that. If you'll excuse me." With a quick smile, she stepped around him and made it a few feet before he called her name. Gina stiffened as her eyes closed in frustration, and she took a deep breath before turning around. She plastered a neutral expression on her face as she walked back over towards him.

   "I'd like to see you tonight. Please," he said in a low voice. It was the first time he had ever asked her so nicely to do anything.

   "Are you asking me, or are you demanding to as the boss?" she asked, her voice rising on the last word.

   "I'm asking."

   "I'm sorry," she told him in a voice that was barely above a whisper. "I already have plans."

   As she expected, his eyes narrowed as he looked her up and down. "With him?"

   Gina didn't answer as the tension between them grew, but before Negan could speak again, the gates opened with a clank and they both turned to see an old sedan pulling in.

   A young man with black hair got out of the driver's side as a middle-aged man stepped out of the passenger's side. He was dressed in a blue suit and was holding a bottle of liquor. The man looked around nervously until the caught sight of Simon, and he plastered a simpering smile on his face.

   Negan's demeanor changed as he walked away from her, his long legs moving swiftly towards the men. Simon wrapped his arm around the suit guy, pulling him towards Negan. Suit guy looked up, and Gina guessed that he was dangerously close to wetting himself as Negan leaned in a said something into the man's ear. His driver stood there frozen as Saviors began to cluster around them.

   After a short conversation, the group began to move towards the doors, and Gina began running backwards, eager to avoid any more conversation with Negan. Just before she turned around, the bearded guy glanced at her, doing a double take before being led into the Sanctuary. She didn't know who this guy was, but she had a bad feeling in her gut about why he was here. He had the air of a coward, and Negan absolutely devoured people like that, but not before playing with them first.

   Gina continued to run for another twenty minutes, waving at Dwight as he came out to supervise the guards before heading back inside to get ready. She found herself getting nervous as she dried her hair, trying to get it as smooth as possible before scolding herself. Sergio had seen her bare faced and covered in walker guts, so what the hell did it matter if her hair was perfect?

   As she tucked in her shirt, a red v-neck and slid into her nicest jeans, she shut the door behind her, making her way down the hall towards the steps. She was too wound up to eat, bypassing the cafeteria to head outside. To give herself some more time, she slowed her pace to a casual stroll, taking a deep breath as she rounded the corner.

   Sergio was sitting at the back picnic table with a bottle next to him and two cups. He was watching a few walkers that were tethered to the back fence, his muscular arms resting on his knees. There were a few other people outside, clustered together a table a few feet away. She walked slowly towards him, admiring his physique as she got closer. When she got about ten feet away, he glanced over to see her approaching and he stood up, smiling.

   The people at the next table were watching them as he leaned over, kissing her on the cheek. "I'd pull out the chair, but there aren't any," he said as she sat opposite him. "Well, it's the thought that counts," she replied with a smile.

   Sergio picked up the bottle, opening it with a snap, and Gina held the cups as he poured them each a glass. With a toast, they each took a long drink before setting the cups back down. Sergio started the conversation by asking her about her childhood. She found him easy to talk to, and there were very few lulls in the conversation as the sun began to set. As the other group stood up and left, he came around to sit next to her. The liquor continued to flow until he finally wrapped his arm around her, pulling her into a kiss.

   Gina's head was swimming as he parted her lips with his tongue, and she could taste the whiskey as the kiss deepened. She let out a whimper as he gripped her tighter, and she wrapped her arms around his neck, his body heat burning into her. She was so wound up, that it took her a moment to feel him pushing her back gently. Opening her eyes in confusion, she took a deep breath to find him looking at her regretfully.

   "What's wrong?" she asked, her breathing erratic as she dropped her hands.

   "You just called me Negan."

   "What? No, I didn't," she said hotly as she scooted backwards. _Did she?_

   "It's okay, Gina. Really." Sergio swung one leg around the bench and he leaned in towards her as she put her head in her hands, leaning on the table. "I'm so sorry," she whispered, too mortified to look at him.

   "You've got a lot going on, so I'm just going say goodnight and wish you well." She felt him kiss her on the temple before he stood up. "I'll see you in the field, and there are no hard feelings." The air shifted slightly, and she felt a cool breeze on her arm as he walked away. When she finally looked up, he was long gone and she was alone in the yard, the security lights shining down on her and the whiskey.

   Her vision blurred as she picked up the bottle, drinking straight from it in a large gulp. Drowning out her feelings with alcohol was a bad habit that the was developing, but the stark reminder that she was once again alone kept her drinking until she started to see double.

   Heaving herself up, Gina stumbled towards the Sanctuary, unaware of the guards that were staring down at her. The cafeteria was quiet as she barreled through it, running into the door to the steps. She fumbled with the handle before wrenching it open and climbing the steps. But she didn't stop on the second floor. Instead, she climbed all the way to the top with the bottle tucked under her arm.

   The lights were off in the hallway as she stalked towards Negan's door. Using the bottle, she tapped loudly on his door, and it was opened seconds later by the big breasted blonde, who was glaring at her as she forced her way into the room. "Hey!" the girl cried as Negan came rushing out to see what was going on. Thankfully, he was still fully dressed, though the girl was wearing a silky negligee.

   "Gina?" he asked in surprise as she turned towards the blonde, narrowing her eyes at her.

   "Get the fuck out," she told the girl, whose eyes widened in anger.

   "You can't just barge in here, you bitch-"

   "Candy, get the fuck out," Negan snapped as her mouth dropped open. Candy's face turned beet red she rushed out of the room, slamming the door behind her.

   Gina turned around to find Negan watching her as if she had grown a third eyeball. "Gina, what the hell is the matter?"

   "Sergio is nice," she muttered as she walked in a circle. "He's handsome, and sweet, and funny, and he really likes me." On her third pass, Negan pulled the bottle from her hands. "And I don't get to have him because of you."

   "I have no idea what the fuck you're talking about," he said, his voice filled with exasperation, but she continued on as if he hadn't spoken. "He doesn't sleep with lots of women, I don't think," she rambled as she stumbled towards his bed. "He doesn't treat me like a thing. He thinks I'm worth something."

   Gina sat down heavily on his bed, bouncing up and down as the room spun slowly. "I meant to say Sergio. I really did."

   Negan walked over towards her, squatting down so that they were eye to eye. "What?"

   She snorted as she rolled her eyes. "He kissed me and I called him by your name. Catch up already." Much like Candy a few moments before, his mouth popped open in shock as she flopped onto her back. Fresh tears began to fall from her eyes as she closed them, and she felt the bed move as he sat down next to her.

   "I can't stay here anymore. Please just let me leave," she said in a shaky voice. "I can't be with anyone else apparently, and I'm not going to watch you keep flouncing around with twenty-two-year-old bimbos."

   Fingers reached out to gently brush the tears away as she began to cry harder. She hated herself in that moment, all of the bravado that she showed over the last few days gone in the wake of one whispered word. _Negan_. "Oh, sweetheart," he said gently, "I'm afraid I can't let you go."

   "God, you are so cruel," she stuttered as she pushed his hands away. They were back again in seconds as he turned her face towards him. When she opened her eyes, he was smiling at her so tenderly that she sat up, her vision shaky. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

  Negan straightened himself up, before standing and pulling Gina to her feet. "Because I'm about to say something that I never thought I'd say again in my life." He put his hand under her chin, lifting her face to make sure that she was paying attention. "I love you."

   "What?"

   He smirked as he watched her blink rapidly. "You're smart, you're sexy as fucking hell, and you're the only one I'd ever let talk to me the way that you do."

   "Didn't you just have sex with that girl?" she asked suspiciously as his eyebrows rose.

   "I haven't fucked anyone since you crushed my nuts with your bare hands the other day and walked out."

   "Classy," she retorted as he took her face in his hands.

   "I have no idea how much of this you're going to remember in the morning, but we'll be talking some more. Now, lay down before you fall down."

   Since her head was spinning, she let him lead her back towards the bed, pulling down the covers as she dropped heavily. She watched him as he bent down and pulled off her shoes before lifting her legs and covering her up. The light flipped off, and she felt the bed jostle as he got in behind her, laying his hand across her waist. The room was quiet briefly until she let out a drunken snicker.

   "What?" His voice was resigned as she laughed again.

   "Candy?" "Seriously?"

   "Please go to sleep."

 


	21. Chapter 21

 

   Rolling over and kicking her legs out, Gina bumped into something and heard a soft thump as something hit the floor. Lifting her head, she opened her eyes to find herself alone in Negan's bedroom. Her head throbbed slightly as she sat up, stretching her arms above her head. When she looked at the foot of the bed, she saw that part of a pile of clothes had tumbled to the ground.

  Throwing off the covers, she stepped out of the bed, coming around the foot of it to see what else he had placed there. All of her clothes from the second floor were present, along with a few other things. The memory of the previous night came flooding back to her. Gina remembered stumbling drunkenly to his room and had found him with one of his new girls, Candy. She snorted to herself thinking of the look on the girls face as Negan ordered her to leave.

   She had taken a big risk with her heart coming to him last night. Had she not been drinking, Gina highly doubted that she would have confessed to calling out his name when she was making out with Sergio. He was sweet, handsome, and kind. The exact kind of man that she should be with. But he wasn't Negan. He couldn't level her with a look like Negan could. He didn't hold her happiness in his hands like Negan did.

   Despite her feelings, she would not stand for any mistreatment of her sister. Gina knew that Negan was smart, ruthless, and determined to keep the other communities under his thumb. He had been ruling the Sanctuary that way long before she arrived, but she knew her sister, and if the people at Alexandria were anything like Talia, they would eventually chafe under the pressure that the Saviors put on everyone else. And just because Negan told her that he loved her, it didn't mean that he would change where everyone else was concerned.

   Deciding to save that worry for another time, she picked up the clothes, refolding them before grabbing a pair of cutoff sweat shorts and a tank top to change into after she showered. Flipping on the bathroom light, she was pleasantly surprised to see an array of beauty products, including lotion, deodorant, a new toothbrush, and toothpaste.

   After showering and dressing comfortably, she wandered into the office area while she waited for Negan to return. He had a large bookcase that was overflowing with expensive looking books, many of which were leatherbound with gold leafing. She perused them for a while before finally selecting Bram Stoker's Dracula, carrying it back with her to the bed, where she lay down on her stomach, her legs moving up and down leisurely as she glanced at the clock. It was after eleven when she opened the book, and she became so engrossed that she didn't hear the door open and close.

   It wasn't until she swung her legs down and they landed in large, rough hands that she realized Negan was back. He didn't say anything as he lowered her legs to the bed, and she shivered as she felt his stubble on her calves, his lips making their way upwards. Gina jerked softly when he reached the tender area just behind her knees, and he clamped down on her legs to keep her still. Her head dropped to the bed as she felt his tongue making its way up her thighs, stopping when he reached her shorts.

   The bed dipped as he crawled on, his knees against hers as he slid her top up, exposing her back to the air. Again his beard brushed up against her, causing goosebumps to form along her arms as he kissed his way up her spine before using his finger to sweep her hair away from the nape of her neck. By the time he tugged on her shoulder to direct her to turn over, she was practically hyperventilating, and her chest moved up and down rapidly as she gazed up at him. His eyes were black fire as she reached up with both hands, trailing her thumbs lightly across his eyebrows before caressing his cheeks, finally running her fingers across his lips.

   Negan pulled her hands from his face, laying them back against the bed before reaching down to take off her top, and Gina lifted her torso slightly as he guided it over her head. With nimble fingers he shifted himself off of her to remove her shorts, leaving her completely naked and exposed. One finger trailed from her neck down between her breasts to her stomach before he backed off of the bed, grabbing his shirt with both hands and removing it in one fluid motion.

   Gina sat up, sliding her body to the edge of the bed as he stood before her and she grabbed his waistband, pulling him in between her legs. His hands wound themselves into her hair as she unbuttoned his pants, sliding them down with his shorts, and he stepped out of them discreetly. She swallowed hard as she looked up at him. Running her hands down his chest, she followed the trail of hair before taking him in her hands and bringing him to her lips. He was warm and hard, and he thrust himself further into her mouth with a grunt, his hands directing her head as she moved back and forth, her hands twisting around the base.

   Before he could get close, he tugged her head back, releasing Gina to raise her to her feet. Strong arms lifted her off the ground and she wrapped her legs around him as he carried her out towards his desk, setting her on the edge to guide himself in. Once he began to move, Gina lay back on the desk, which was clear of papers, and Negan dug his hands into her hips, becoming more forceful with his thrusts as she braced her legs on the front of the desk. With closed eyes, she felt one of his hands slip between them, rubbing her as he moved in time. She felt her muscles tightening as she got closer and closer, before finally crying out, her hands grasping the sides of the desk so tightly that her knuckles turned white. While she came down from her own high, he pushed himself faster and faster, reaching out to knead her breasts as she gripped his arms, and he let out a string of expletives as he came, thrusting erratically as she clenched her walls around him.

   When he was finally spent, Negan leaned over her as Gina propped herself up on her elbows to kiss his forehead. They both caught their breath before he pulled out of her and helped her to her feet. It was then that he put his arms around her, kissing her softly on the lips as she led him back to the bed. "Lay down," she ordered him as he crawled into the middle, collapsing on his stomach. After putting her clothes back on, she straddled him, running her hands up and down his back as he let out a contented sigh. She spent the next few minutes massaging his shoulders, working out the knots for him.

   He finally rolled over underneath her, linking hands with Gina as she stared down at him. "Are you ready to talk now, doll?"

   "Talk about what?"

   "About what brought you up here last night, obviously."

   She swung her leg off of him, letting herself fall onto her back before propping a pillow underneath her head. Negan turned to his side before taking her by the hand again. She concentrated on the ceiling as he watched her. "You told me you loved me," she stated matter of factly.

   "I did," he affirmed as she glanced at him quickly before staring up again.

   "So what now? Where do we go from here?" Gina asked as his thumb grazed the top of her hand.

   "That's what I'm asking you," he said as she turned to face him. "What do you want from me?"

   "What do I _want_ from you?" she said crisply as he flinched slightly.

   "Let me rephrase that," he offered as she narrowed her eyes. "What will make you happy?"

   Gina watched him closely as she spoke. "You not sleeping with anyone else, for one." He began to smirk until he saw her jaw tighten, and he wisely stopped. "Is something amusing you?"

   "I'd rather not say," he muttered as she sat up.

   "Tell you what," she said with a dangerous smile, "you can have your bimbos, and I'll just mosey on downstairs to see what Sergio is up to. I'm sure with a few words, I can undo the damage I did last night." She dropped his hand as she rubbed her chin. "That's a fair compromise, right?" Holding out both hands as if she was weighing the pros and cons, she continued, well aware that he was getting angry.

   "Blonde, busty Candy and tall, young, muscular Sergio."

   "All right," he snapped as she dropped her hands. "You made your fucking point."

   "Good," she spat back as she kicked him lightly with her foot. "The two blondes need to go, but Lexie and Leticia can stay on the floor. There's no way they can transition back to that kind of life, but they're to keep their goddamned hands off of you. Plus, it keeps up the appearance that you're still a manwhore. I don't need a target on my back."

   Negan looked at her as if he was seeing her for the first time. "You've put a lot of thought into this."

   "Well, this is my life we're talking about," she said as one of his eyebrows rose. "Our life."

   "Also," she stated as if she were checking off a list, "I want to continue to go on runs."

   "Why?" He was clearly not happy.

   "Because," she sighed as she pushed him onto his back again, straddling him and leaning down on her arms. "I'm good at it, and I can't spend all day waiting around for you. I need to be doing something. You know damn well I can handle myself. Besides, your men will make sure they're on their best behavior when I'm around. And we could always use more supplies." Dipping her head, she kissed him, tracing his lips with her tongue before moving to his neck. She inhaled deeply and he smelled of sweat, fresh air and some sort of scent that was unique to him. It drove her crazy and her kisses got stronger as she felt his hands move to her waist, gripping her tightly.

   There was a knock at the door, and Gina sat up with a groan. Since Negan was still naked, she crawled off the bed, walking quickly to the door while he threw on some pants.

   When she opened it, Scott from the kitchen gave her a shy smile as he held a tray of food for the two of them. Opening the door wider, Gina let him in and he placed it on the table with shaking hands.

   "Thank you," she murmured with a smile as his face got red. Of course, Negan walked out at that moment, scaring the shit out of the kid, who went to kneel down in subservience. Gina frowned until Negan ordered the kid to stand up. "This food better be good," he muttered as Scott's eyes widened. He backed up towards the door as Gina followed him. "The food smells great," she whispered with a wink as she shut the door.

   When she turned around, Negan was giving her a sarcastic grin. "Just because you're a bastard," she told him with a smile, "doesn't mean I have to be. I'm the nice one in our little love circle."

   Rolling his eyes, he lifted off the cover to reveal two large roasted chicken breasts and a steaming portion of roasted vegetables. There was asparagus, potatoes, carrots, and fresh green beans, and it was mouthwatering. "Were did we get such amazing food?" Gina asked as she sat down next to him. They each took a plate, and Gina laid her legs across Negan's lap as they ate. 'We got it from that asshole Gregory from the Hilltop." Gina decided to file that information for later.

   Someone had tenderized the chicken and seasoned it to perfection, so it fell apart on the fork and was incredibly juicy. The vegetables she picked up with her hands, feeding some to Negan as he licked her fingers, causing her thighs to twitch slightly. When they were done, they finished the meal off with a glass of wine while chatting, though Gina wisely did not overdo it. After putting everything back on the tray, she carried it to the door and set it out in the hall. There was no sign of the other women, thankfully, so she closed the door.

   Turning around, she saw that he was stretched out on the bed again, his arms behind his head as he watched her. Making her way over slowly, she resumed her position on top of him, kissing him deeply before moving down to his bare chest. She loved that he had chest hair, but it wasn't too overwhelming. Just enough to run your nails through. And then there were the muscles, the ones on his abdomen not too big, and the way the v along his hips directed you to heaven. When she got to just below his belly button, she stopped, sitting back up.

   Negan's eyes fluttered open, and he watched Gina as she took his hands, placing them on her breasts, moving them slowly around. Her voice was low and husky when she spoke. "And what do you want from me? What will make you happy?"

   He sat up quickly, bringing his mouth to her neck, his tongue slipping in and out as he licked and nipped at her. "I need you," he murmured as her head fell back, "to support the choices I make."

   He guided her back onto the bed as she watched him warily. "Meaning?"

   Lifting his head, he gave her a grave look, even though his hands didn't stop moving. "Meaning, the success of everything I've built rides completely on my shoulders. We're in a precarious position right now, and the decisions I make are what's going to keep this place running."

   Gina opened her mouth to speak, but he placed a finger to her lips, silencing her. "I told you I wouldn't hurt your sister, but I've received some interesting fucking intel, and I'll be paying a visit to Alexandria tomorrow to see if it holds any water."

   "Negan-"

   "Gina, do you love me?" he pressed, his face inches from hers as he looked deeply into her eyes, searching them.

   "I do."

   "Then you're going to have to trust me," he told her gently. "Trust that I know what I'm doing, and trust that I wouldn't do anything that would hurt you. Now," he said as he slid her shirt up, "enough talking."

   When the sun finally went down, Gina lay with her head on Negan's chest, running her fingers up and down as he began to doze. He had been able to get her to forget his warning while they made love, but in the quiet, her fears began to buzz in her head as she worried about what would happen in Alexandria the following day. As Negan began to snore softly, she carefully slid out of the bed, grabbing some clothes and dressing quickly.

   The hallway was deserted as she passed through before heading down the steps and past the cafeteria to the commissary. She requested a fresh pack of cigarettes and a lighter before walking out to the back picnic tables. Perched on the furthest table was Dwight, and he looked up as she approached, shaking his head as she sat down.

   Pulling a cigarette out, she lit one up before tossing him the lighter and pack. "Thanks," he muttered as they sat shoulder to shoulder. The smoke billowed out in front of them as the sound of crickets came from the field just beyond the fence.

   "I know you're disappointed in me Dwight," Gina said as he looked up into the sky.

   "I just don't get it, Gina," he responded, his voice measured. "He's a bastard, he murders for sport, and he takes pleasure in other people's pain."

   "I don't understand it myself, either," she confessed. "I can't help how I feel, and I don't agree with the things he's done." She turned to face Dwight, waiting until he acknowledged her before continuing. "He's a different person with me. I don't think he was always like this. Maybe he won't always be like this," she sighed as she took another drag. "You're my only friend, Dwight," she said as he smiled briefly, "and if I could, I would walk you to the gate right now and set you free to find Sherry and live happily ever after."

   Gina flicked her cigarette, watching as it spun in circles before hitting the dirt, sending small sparks flying. "All I can say is, he loves me. I really believe he does. So maybe, just maybe, I can use that for something good. For you and Talia."

   Before he could respond, she kissed him quickly on his good cheek before standing up and walking back to the Sanctuary. When she reached the top floor, she opened his door quietly, relieved to find him still asleep. Crouching down next to him, Gina picked up her book before perching in bed next to him, becoming engrossed in the tale of a dark prince that wanted to take over the world.


	22. Chapter 22

**Talia**  
  

 "Get on your knees."

   Rick had his gun pointed at Dwight's head as he took a few steps back. The late afternoon light was streaming through the basement window as Talia, Michonne, Tara, Rosita, and Jesus crowded behind Rick, ready to back him up if Dwight struck out.

   But he knelt down slowly, watching Rick calmly as he stood over him. Tara inched forward, her face a mask of rage.

   "Kill him," she urged Rick as she bent down towards Dwight. "Just kill him. Why are we even listening to him? He killed Denise." She got into his face. "Denise was our doctor. She was a good person, and she was my girlfriend. You killed her for nothing," she spat.

   "I wasn't aiming for her," Dwight said steadily as Tara slapped him across the face before Michonne and Jesus grabbed her, pulling her back. Talia stepped up and with a quick look to Rick, she squatted down.

   "Why now? Why did you come here now?" she asked as he looked at her uncomfortably.

   "Because I don't have anything else," he said simply. "I know you have no reason to believe me, but I was doing what I did for one reason. And she's gone. She let Daryl go and now she's gone."

   "Why did she let Daryl go?" Talia pressed.

   "It was the right thing to do," Dwight replied. "He tried to help us before, and if I'd have just been strong enough, maybe none of this would have ever happened." He looked each person in the eye. "I'm trying to do the right thing now."

   With a huff, Tara pulled away from Jesus and Michonne, walking out of the cell and back up the steps.Rosita shot Dwight a look before following her out. 

   "Negan's coming here tomorrow," Dwight told Rick as he lowered the gun. "He knows that you're planning to fight back and he's going to try to head off any resistance."

   "How did he find out?" Michonne questioned as Talia stood back up.

   Dwight flashed a sardonic smile before lifting his hand to point at Jesus. "His leader came to see us yesterday and sold you all out."

   Jesus's eyes closed in disgust as he swore under his breath.

   "I can buy you some time," Dwight offered as Rick motioned for him to stand, "block some of the roads to slow him down, but he'll get here eventually. If we can take him and his strongest soldiers out, we can go from outpost to outpost and clear them before securing the Sanctuary."

   Rick and Michonne walked out of the cell to confer quietly as Jesus and Talia stayed to watch Dwight, who kept looking at Talia. It took her a moment for it to register before the realization dawned on her.

   "How well do you know Gina?" she asked as Dwight pursed his lips.

   "She's my friend," he answered softly, his eyes dropping to the ground.

   "And does she know you're here?"

   When he looked back up, she knew the answer without him having to speak. "I need to talk to you after Rick makes his decision."

   A few moments later, Rick and Michonne returned, and he asked that everyone, including Dwight come back to his house. They followed him single file back up the steps and out into the street. When they reached the house, Carl opened the door, holding Judith, and Rick and Michonne led them upstairs as the other three settled themselves in the kitchen. Rick returned a few minutes later with several sheets of paper and a handful of pencils.

   "I want you to write down as much as possible," he told Dwight. "I want to know the layout of the Sanctuary, all the outposts, every weapon that you know of. Everything."

   While Dwight sat hunched over the table, Jesus, Michonne, Rick and Talia walked out to the porch. Michonne and Talia sat on the swing as Jesus and Rick leaned against the porch railing. "Jesus," Rick began as he and Michonne exchanged a glance. "Right now Negan doesn't seem to suspect the Hilltop. I'm sure Gregory painted his community in an entirely different light than ours, so you guys should be safe for the time being. And because of that, I'd like to send Judith to the Hilltop to keep her safe."

   "Of course," Jesus said, nodding his head.

   "I'll go with him to bring Daryl home," Talia said as Rick shook his head. "Rick," she argued, "if we're really doing this, you can't shut him out. It's his choice, and you know what he'd want."

   "We just got him back," Rick challenged as Talia stared him down. "And what does it matter if Negan knows? He's coming here tomorrow regardless. Daryl is strength and firepower, and he'd be pissed if he found out. And he's going to know what's going on anyways when Judith shows up there."

   She watched as Rick ran his hand through his hair. "I love him," she said quietly as he squinted at her. "Would you not want Michonne with you?"

   His eyes turned towards Michonne, who was smiling at him with her eyebrows raised. With a sigh, he stood up. "As soon as we're done here, you two need to get on the road."  
Talia stood up and headed back into the house. "I need a minute with him," she said over her shoulder, not waiting for a response. Dwight looked up briefly before resuming writing, and she went to Michonne's sink, grabbing a glass and filling it with water, setting it down next to Dwight as she looked over the papers. He had drawn several maps, and he was working on an inventory of weapons, along with a list of people's names.

   "Is there any way to get Gina out of there before all of this goes down?"

   "No," Dwight said without looking up.

   "Please look at me," Talia asked gently. After a moment, Dwight set the pencil down and glanced up at her.

   "He'll never let her go," Dwight said as Talia closed her eyes. "Frankly, she won't leave him either."

   Her voice cracked as her sister flashed through her mind. "What kind of fucking spell does he have her under?"

   "She loves him. I thought that she was pulling away from him, but she can't."

   Talia opened her eyes as she felt Dwight touch her on the hand. "Gina's about the only person that I give a shit about there. She and Sherry were close. And she's good to me. She's not stupid, but he's her weakness, and she might be his."

   "What do you mean?"

   "I mean, I was there when we found her. I was there when she walked out on him a few days ago. I've been at the Sanctuary for going on two years, and no one has ever had a relationship with him like she has. I just want you to be prepared that if," he corrected himself, "when we kill him, it will destroy her."

   Talia took a deep breath, trying to calm herself. "Are you saying you're having second thoughts?"

   "No," he replied as her heart began to thump. "This isn't just about Gina. It's about everyone who is suffering. But I want you to know that she won't forgive either of us."

   The front door opened just then, and Rick, Michonne, and Jesus walked back into the kitchen. Talia excused herself as they went over all of Dwight's info, and she walked back out onto the porch. It was a least a half an hour later before everyone came out, and Michonne had Judith in her arms and a bag on her shoulder.

   They followed Dwight to the gates as he walked out quickly, climbing into an old truck. When he was gone, she and Jesus walked over to the blue sedan as Michonne and Rick followed them, putting the car seat in the back and strapping Judith in. She began to cry, reaching for Michonne as they shut the door, and Michonne eye's glazed over as Rick put his arm around her.

   With a nod, Jesus put the car into drive, and they set off towards the Hilltop. Judith fell asleep after twenty minutes, leaving Talia free to worry about her sister. Growing up, Gina had always been guarded with her heart. They had lost their mother early, and their dad had doted on the two of them. As much as Talia had loved their father, Gina had always had a closer relationship with him, accompanying him on trips while Talia preferred to stay closer to home. Their father had seemed larger than life, and he was gregarious and quick-witted, possessing a self-assuredness that Talia could never quite relate to.

   Gina was so much like him, and she had always seemed to seek out the same qualities as their father in anyone that she dated. If any of her boyfriends didn't quite measure up, they were gone in short order, left confused in the wake. It had fallen to Talia several times to console them, assuring them that they hadn't done anything wrong, that Gina was just a passionate person, and that her passion would probably never allow her to settle down.

 

   Talia was shaken out of her thoughts as they hit a large divot in the road just outside of the Hilltop. Glancing back, she saw that Judith was still asleep, and she turned her attention to Jesus. "What's your plan to deal with Gregory?" she asked as he gripped the wheel, slowing down as they approached the gate. "I don't know," he admitted as they pulled in. "We're between a rock and a hard place. If we remove him, the Saviors will want to know why, but if we let him continue to run this place, we'll all keep serving Negan."

   As they pulled to a stop, Maggie, Sasha, and Enid came out of one of the trailers, followed by Daryl. Talia climbed out and pulled Judith out of the seat, laying her head on her shoulder as they approached the trailer. Maggie waved them in as Enid held the door open, and Talia climbed the steps carefully, sitting down at the table as she rocked the toddler slowly.

   Everyone filed in, taking a seat as Daryl bent to kiss her.

   "What's happening?" Sasha asked as Talia looked at Jesus.

   "Dwight was at Alexandria when we got back," Jesus explained as Daryl shot out of his seat, and Talia grabbed his arm with his free hand.

   "Everyone's okay," she told him quickly. "Let Jesus finish."

    He wrenched his arm away from her, but he sat back down. Jesus glanced over at her quickly, and she nodded for him to continue.

   "He wants to help us take out the Saviors," he said as Sasha began to smile. "He came to tell Rick that Negan knows Alexandria is planning to fight, and that they're coming tomorrow to put a stop to any uprising."

   "How did he know?" Maggie asked, but by the look on her face, she already knew the answer.

   "Gregory told them," Jesus answered as Sasha scoffed, her hands balling into fists on the table.

   "So what do we do?" Maggie said briskly as Judith stirred slightly. Talia caressed her head, rocking her again as she quieted down.

   "Take care of Judith for us," Talia told her as Sasha shook her head.

   "We need to be there," she insisted. "We need to help fight."

   "I can't tell you what to do," Talia said as she stood up, carrying Judith over to the bed behind Sasha, "but why bring the Hilltop into it if we can end this tomorrow? Why not save some leverage for later on if this drags out?" She set the little girl gently on her side before covering her up with her little pink blanket and propping pillows around her so that she couldn't roll off the bed.

   "Besides," she added as she came to stand next to Daryl, "how do we know if you guys come tomorrow that Gregory won't hightail his sorry ass back to Negan and sell you out? He clearly only cares about his own safety."

   "Well, how can we even trust what this Dwight is saying?" Sasha asked as she felt Daryl tense up next to her.

   "We won't know for sure until Negan shows up, but I believe him," Talia said. "Listen, I've gotta get back. We need to be ready tomorrow no matter what."

   With a wave to Enid, she started for the door, opening it quickly and climbing down the steps to the ground. When she got to the truck, she felt hands on her shoulders, and she turned around slowly. "Let's go," she told him as she opened the driver's side door, climbing in. Daryl took her by the hand as the gates closed, and she drove carefully down the dirt road, flipping on the headlights as they turned onto the main road. The sun had set, and it was dusky out, the summer breeze blowing through the car as she rolled down the window.

   "Sherry was the one that let you go," she told him as she looked at him out of the corner of her eye. "She got away when you did."

   "That doesn't change anything," he replied as she squeezed his hand tighter. "I'm still going to kill him when this is over."

   Talia didn't reply as a sliver of unease made its way down her spine. She knew that she couldn't blame him, but this constant cycle of revenge had to end at some point. The main goal was to get Negan out of the picture so that they could live their lives, trading with people that were honorable, and possibly restoring some semblance of society. Her main goal, apart from the others, was to get her sister back.

   When they reached Alexandria, they pulled in, parking near the RV as Rick came over to the car. Daryl got out first, going over to Rick and hugging him. Talia left the keys in the car as Rick told them that he met with all of the residents to tell them about the Saviors. Most were scared but determined to stand their ground, and Rick seemed confident that they would prevail. He told them to get some rest as he headed back towards his house, but not before asking about Judith.

   Talia assured him that she was sleeping soundly when they left and that Maggie would guard her with her life. His smile was bittersweet as he turned to go, and she let Daryl lead her back towards her house. He kissed her on the cheek and told her he'd be back soon, so she went inside, turning on the porch light for him.

  
   She was slipping on a nightshirt and toweling out her wet hair when she heard a soft knock on her bedroom door. Padding over, Talia opened it to find Daryl freshly showered and holding a bag, standing there awkwardly. Shaking her head, she waved him in as he set the bag on the floor.

   "I didn't wanna be forward," he said gruffly as she put her arms around his neck.

   "You're an ass," she teased as she kissed him, her hands running through his wet hair. With a grumble, he pushed her towards the bed, and she sat back as the mattress hit her knees. Daryl knelt down on the floor in front of her, and she lifted her hips as he pulled her panties off, tossing them to the ground. There was no hesitation as he threw her legs over his shoulders, kissing his way up her thighs as she lay back. His stubble was tickling her sensitive skin until his tongue took over, and she moaned softly, her hands digging into the covers. He was relentless, possessed as he drove her crazier and crazier until she finally swore his name, the pleasurable contractions coming in droves. Only then did he lift his face, kissing her belly, her breasts, her neck and finally her lips.

   Talia was limp at first as he stripped his own clothes off, and she watched him languidly as he approached her. His eyes were fiery as he lifted up her hips and scooted underneath her before pulling her to a sitting position on top of him. She used one hand to guide him in before beginning to move slowly up and down, teasing him by starting and stopping. It was only when he growled out her name that she began to move faster, her hips moving in a circle as she bounced up and down atop him. Talia's hands gripped his large shoulders as Daryl went from her hips to her breasts, sucking on them hungrily, making her moan in pleasure at the skills of his tongue and mouth.  
He started to thrust up into her faster, and she braced herself on his thighs as they worked in tandem to meet together. With a primal growl, Daryl pulled her almost roughly towards him, and he came inside her, slamming his hips to meet hers as he sucked on her breasts. Talia's body was on fire as he continued to jerk slightly. When they finally calmed down, he laid her gently back against the mattress before collapsing next to her.

   "Well that was something," she said breathlessly, as he ran his rough hands along her shoulder and across her collarbone.

   "I just had to have ya right then," Daryl said without apology. "I need you so much," he said as his lips connected with her neck, and Talia reached back to put her arm around him.

   "I'm yours," she told him, "and you're mine. So put your damn clothes away and let's get to bed. We've got a big day tomorrow."


	23. Chapter 23

   The air was thick with tension as Rick made his way through the group of people that were gathered near the gates of Alexandria. There were perhaps thirty to thirty-five men and women listening as he gave some final instructions before they were to take their places around the walls to defend their home. The rest of the residents had been placed in two homes for their protection as they were either too young to fight, too old, or just unable to help out.

   Carl was handing out guns, and the rest were up on the walls, ready to go. Holly was on the wall keeping an eye out for the incoming Saviors, assuming Dwight's warning was true.

   "We do not, I repeat, do not start firing until you hear me give the signal. If we can reason with Negan, then all the better. Now, I know that negotiation is all but out the window, but let it not be said that we didn't try." Rick patted Eric on the shoulder as he passed by. "All guns are to be kept down until the last possible second. The Saviors know that we're gearing up to fight, but Dwight said that they don't know how much firepower we have."

   As he made his way back to the front, he stood between Michonne and Daryl. "Michonne is going to take the highest point inside the walls, and Talia has volunteered to go into the church tower outside."

   Talia felt Daryl stiffen next to her as Rick glanced at her. She and Daryl had fought bitterly this morning when she told Rick that she would keep watch outside. Daryl had tried to veto the idea, and Talia had exploded at him in front of Rick and Michonne, making for an awkward foursome.

   "You're not goin' out there," Daryl had declared as Talia got in his face, causing Michonne to step between them.

   "No one tells me what to do," she snapped as Rick raised his hand, trying to silence her. "I've been shooting for years, and I'm better than pretty much anyone in this community."

   "Talia," Rick said as he pulled her back a few paces, "I think it would be best if-"

   Before he could finish, she stormed off towards the house that held all of their weapons, returning with a semi-automatic rifle as they all stared at her. Without a word she climbed up the ladder to the walkway, aiming it at the belltower. Peering through the scope, she released the trigger and a loud clang rang out as the bullet bounced off the rusted bell that hung there. Quickly shooting twice more, both bullets hit the bell again.

   After climbing down, she stalked back over, shoving the gun in Daryl's hands. He was glaring at her as she turned towards Rick. "If anyone can do any better, by all means, put them out there."

   He gazed over her shoulder towards Daryl before glancing at Michonne. "How many guns do you need?" he asked before Daryl handed the gun to Michonne, walking away.

   She and Daryl hadn't spoken since, and he had refused to look at her as everyone gathered to prepare.

   "All right, I want everyone into their positions within the next five minutes. If this leads to a fight, the only one that is not to be shot is Dwight, unless he aims at any one of you. He may have to give the impression that he's fighting, but he assured us that he'll be aiming above our heads. So keep that in mind. I know when you're in the thick of the battle it's easy to get overwhelmed, but we can end this today. Stay sharp."

   The crowd began to disperse as Talia conferred with Rick for a few moments. Since she and Michonne were going to be on lookout, a simple whistle was all they were going to use to alert everyone of the approaching Saviors. After handing Talia a bottle of water, he gave her a quick hug before heading over to Carl and Michonne.

   Picking up her bag which was filled with guns and ammo, along with two grenades, she hoisted it over her shoulder and walked towards the gate, nodding at Rosita as she passed and giving Tara a quick hug. Daryl was waiting for her at the gate, and she approached him warily as he stared her down.

   Before he could say anything, she pulled him down to her by the back of his neck, kissing him hard on the mouth. "I love you," she whispered as he grabbed her by the shoulders. "Be safe," she told him as she wriggled out of his grasp, walking out of the gate without looking back.

   The sun was beating down as she picked her way through the tall grass, and she stepped up the porous wooden steps before picking her way around the loose floor boards. There were only a few overturned pews scattered in the chapel, and she wrenched open the door that led to the tower. Climbing up carefully, Talia was covered in sweat as she reached the top, patting the bell absently as she set the bag down.

   The trees that surrounded the tower were tall, and it was both a blessing and a curse. They would provide her cover, but it would also obscure her vision of the road below the walls, providing her with only a few clear spots in which to take a shot. The road in was unobstructed, so she would be able to easily see any approaching vehicles. Michonne would also have a straight on view of the road.

   After unzipping the bag, Talia unloaded her guns, and lined up her ammunition, making sure each one was ready to go in an instant. Once she was sure she was prepared, she took a drink of water while she waited. Every few minutes she would close her eyes and take a deep breath to calm herself. Every nerve in her body seemed to be stretched like a rubber band, ready to snap at any second.

   On the walkway, Daryl paced back and forth like a snake about to strike. She could see him lift up a gun before putting it back down quickly, occasionally glancing towards the bell tower.

   As she stood up, stretching her arms across her torso to loosen them up, she saw a line of trucks making their way towards Alexandria in the distance. She let out two sharp whistles before ducking down out of sight, her heart pounding in her chest as the sounds of the engines drew closer. Talia placed her hands against the wood planks, feeling one that was loose. Looking around quickly, she found a piece of one of the metal shutters laying on the ground, and she wedged it in between two of the boards, prying it away with a creak, and it left her with a three-foot wide hole that she could shoot through without leaving her entire head exposed.

   Wiping her hands on her jeans to dry them, she picked up a rifle as she worked to slow down her heart. Her father's face flashed through her mind as she said a silent prayer for strength. "Just breathe," he whispered to her, the way he always did when she would go to the shooting range with him. "Take a deep breath before your first shot."

   The trucks came to a stop as they neared the old cars that Rick had set up to block the road around fifteen feet from the gate. Talia could see him standing on the walkway right near the gate, his hands placed on the metal wall where everyone could see them. Truck doors opened and closed as she watched intently for Negan, but from where they were positioned, all she could see were boots moving through the branches of the trees.

   Talia could hear someone whistling as Rick's face turned stony, and she knew that Negan was close by and his voice carried through the air as he spoke.

   "Rick, Rick, Rick," he called out in a genial voice as he approached the gate. "Why on earth do you have so many people lined up waiting for us? And is that Daryl that I see up there? I have to say, I'm very disappointed." Negan moved slightly, just out of Talia's line of vision, and she eased her finger off of the trigger so that she didn't shoot without a good line of sight.

   "A little birdie came to me and sang a song," he continued as Rick watched him, keeping his hands on the wall. "It wasn't a good song, Rick. In fact, it was the worst fucking song I've heard since this world went to shit." He let out a rueful chuckle. "No, this song was a story of betrayal. A song about a group of beaten dogs that think they can fight the Big Bad Wolf." A wave of laughter rang throughout the group of Saviors as Rick shifted slightly. "If this little story is true, Rick, I'm afraid I'm going to have to huff and puff and blow your little fucking house down."

   Talia leaned to the left to see if she could get a better view and nearly pitched forward as Negan spoke again.

   "But before we get down to business, I have a question. Where is Talia?"

   "Why?" Rick demanded as she saw Negan's head tilt back through the leaves.

   "Do I really need a reason to want to visit with my lovely sister-in-law?" Negan asked in a calm voice as he took a step forward, putting him out of Talia's view. "Get her where I can see her. Now."

   "She's not here," Rick lied, his face smooth as he leaned forward slightly. "She's out on a run getting supplies for Alexandria."

   "For Alexandria?" His tone was deadly, and Talia had to strain to hear him.

   "For Alexandria," Rick affirmed, placing his hands on his hips. "We'll be supplying ourselves from now on and no one else."

   It was so quiet at that moment that Talia could only hear the rustle of the leaves as a breeze gently blew. Negan took a step back, and he was almost right between her crosshairs as she focused on him, almost missing Rick's final words.

   "Oh, and Negan?" he taunted as she watched Negan's shoulders stiffen. "It was pretty fucking stupid of you to bring a bat to a gun fight." Whipping out a gun, Rick screamed, "Now!"

   And all hell broke loose.

   Talia pulled the trigger, but Negan moved as she pressed down, and the shot went through his shoulder as he dropped to the ground. "Fuck," she whispered to herself as she continued to fire, aiming at anyone that she could. The sounds of screams and gunfire filled the air as people scattered. The Saviors began to return fire as smoke started to filter up through the trees and she scanned the road for any sign of Negan, but someone must have come to his aide, because he was nowhere to be seen.

   Grabbing another gun, she continued to fire, taking out two Saviors, including the large one that had taken her gun and beat Aaron, his chest exploding at the bullet ripped through him. But the Saviors were prepared, and there was an explosion that shook the ground as someone lobbed a grenade over the walls, ripping a hole into the pantry house.

   With shaking hands, Talia picked up one of their grenades, pulling the pin before standing up and hurling it through the trees. As soon as it left her hands, she hit the ground, covering her ears. The blast was so loud that her ears were ringing as she sat up and her head was pounding.

   Before she could grab the second one, a boot came flying up, kicking it out of her hand. As she turned her head, a woman punched her so hard in the face that she saw stars. Talia felt hands close around her neck and the Savior pushed her onto her back, straddling her chest. She reached futilely for one of the guns, but the woman kicked them away and they scattered across the floor. Spots began to cloud her vision as she clawed at the woman. She felt her strength starting to ebb, and Daryl's face flashed through her mind.

   Closing her eyes, she summoned all her remaining strength to her legs, swinging them up and wrapping them around the woman's neck and sweeping her backward. The woman's head hit the wood floor with a crack as Talia struggled to take a breath. Air filled her lungs as she pulled her legs from underneath the woman, shaking herself free. Leaning to the side, she kicked the woman in the chin as she began to sit up, and the woman fell back again, her arms laying out to her sides, twitching.

   Her arms were shaking as she grabbed one of the rifles, bringing it down on the woman's head with a screech. Talia slammed it down over and over until the woman's head had such a large dent that there was no way she was still alive.

   Gunshots were still ringing out as she heard the sound of trucks starting up. Crawling over to the corner, she took the last grenade, pulling the pin out and tossing it out the window towards the retreating vehicles with her last bit of strength. The ground shook again as her eyes fluttered closed, and the world went silent to her.

 

 _She floated on her back in the water, not a care in the world, bobbing up and down slowly as she ran her hands back and forth through the current, kicking her legs a leisurely pace. Gina was next to her, smiling at her as they moved further and further out. They were twelve years old, all elbows and knees as they broke the house rules yet again._  
_They were never to swim in the lake, never to jump off of the pier. But as soon as their dad left to go to work, they took off at a run, barreling down the hill and sprinting off of the edge of the wooden slats, doing flips and somersaults into the water._

_"It's not safe," he always warned them. "There are animals in the water. There could be parasites in there."_

_She and Gina didn't care. The water represented freedom. Freedom from rules, and freedom from the unrelenting supervision of their nanny. It was their escape from the house that was a constant reminder of their mother._

_Out of nowhere, Talia felt a sting in her neck, and she opened her eyes to find her father standing on the dock, watching her sadly. Gina was standing next to him, holding his hand, her face disappointed._

_Her neck began to burn as she struggled to swim back to the dock. "Help me!" she cried as her father and Gina took a step back._

_"I tried to tell you," he father said as he turned to leave. "I tried to warn you."_

_"Gina! Please!"_

_But Gina just waved to her before turning around and taking their father's hand. She felt herself go under the water, popping back up once, twice, three times as she watched them get further and further away. She went under a fourth time, but this time she didn't come back up._

 

   Talia's eyes opened as she tried to sit up, gasping for air as strong hands held her down. Her arms flailed out, and she let out a hoarse scream as she felt soft lips on her forehead.

   "Shhh," a gravelly voice told her, caressing her head softly. "You're going to be okay."

   As she began to focus, she saw Daryl looking down at her, his blue eyes inches from her face. With a shuddering breath, she let her head drop onto the pillow, and the arms that were holding her down let her go. Turning her head, she saw that it was Rick, who sat back down in the chair next to her bed.  
  
   Her voice was hoarse as she tried to speak. "Did we get him?"

   Rick gave her a grim smile. "You injured him pretty good, but he got away."

   Talia closed her eyes as tears slid down her face. She wasn't sure if it was from disappointment or because her face and neck were throbbing with every beat of her heart.

   "Hey," Rick said as he leaned in towards her. "You were amazing. Everyone was. We took out over twenty of his men, and we only lost two people."

   "Who?" she asked softly as she kept her eyes closed.

   "Holly and Eric."

   Her chin quivered as she struggled to swallow. Her throat was swollen, and she reached up blindly to feel her neck. The skin was warm, and she moved her hand up to her face. Her right cheek was sticking out and the opened her eyes again, searching Daryl's eyes as he stood over her. "How bad?"

   "Rosita thinks you have a chipped eye socket, and you were choked pretty good. You're going to have to take it easy for a while."

   She reached out, clutching his hand to her chest as she began to cry again. "Are you okay?" she croaked out. "Is everyone else?"

   "We're fine," he assured her, leaning in to kiss her gently on the lips. "Don't cry," he told her as he rubbed her head. Looking around, she finally realized that she was in the infirmary along with a few other people.

   "I want to go home," she said in a broken voice as she looked at Rick.

   "I'll go talk to Rosita." He stood up with a nod to Daryl as he went over to the other side of the room. Without letting go of her hand, Daryl came around the head of the bed to sit in the seat that Rick had vacated.

   Talia was exhausted, all she wanted to do was sleep, but she wanted to do it in her own bed. As she drifted in and out, she could feel Daryl running his fingers through her hair, and it calmed her down. Her eyes opened again as she heard the rattle of a pill bottle.

   "Rosita said if you can swallow these pain pills, you can go home and recuperate there, but she wants to see you first thing in the morning," Rick told her as Daryl lifted the head of the bed. Her head swam as she got upright and she had to take several deep breaths through her nose to fight the nausea that was bubbling up in her gut.

   Extending her hand, Rick dropped a decent sized pill into her hand and she set it on her tongue before taking the glass of water. It took her two tries, but she was able to get it down, opening her mouth to prove the pill was gone. "You're free to go, but take it slow," Rick said with a smile, kissing her on the forehead before walking back over to Rosita.

   Daryl held her hands as she sat up, giving her another minute to get her bearings. When she got to her feet, she swayed slightly before he scooped her up in his arms, carrying her towards the door. Talia rested her good cheek on his shoulder as Tara held the door open for them to exit. His gait was steady as he made his way down the street, and in a few minutes their house was looming up in front of them.

   After climbing up to the porch, Talia reached down to open the door, and they stepped through, going straight up the steps to the bedroom. Daryl laid her gently on the bed and she took a deep breath until the room stopped spinning. When he was sure she was stable, he slipped downstairs for some more water. By the time he returned, she was already asleep.


	24. Chapter 24

**Gina**

   

   Gina watched Negan grow smaller in the rearview mirror as Daniel drove her away from the Sanctuary. She was spending the day on a run while he went to Alexandria to settle some business as he put it. Afraid for both him and her sister, she had insisted that she couldn't sit idle while he was gone.

   Rising before him, she had gone quietly into the shower, hoping to be dressed and ready to go before he woke up. But as she was lathering up her hair, the shower curtain had opened, and Negan stepped into the shower with her.

   "You weren't trying to sneak out on me, were you?" he asked as he wiped some of the bubbles off of her forehead. His voice was scratchy, and he had pillow marks on his face as she reached out and flicked some of the shampoo at him.

   "No, I wasn't," she said as she tilted her head back, letting the water rinse her hair clean. "I was going to talk to you first."

   Gina twisted around to let him under the shower head as she soaped up the washcloth. When he turned away from her, she began to wash his back before wrapping her arms around him and cleaning his chest. His hands slid over hers, directing her lower down with a grunt of satisfaction.

   "You're insatiable," she chuckled as he turned back around with a grin on his face. "You can't blame a guy for trying," he retorted as he kissed her.

   "I also think you're trying to distract me," Gina replied as she tossed him the washcloth before reaching for a towel. Stepping out, she walked into the bedroom still dripping wet with a bottle of lotion. She was as slick as an oil spill when he finally walked out, his own towel wrapped low around his waist and a toothbrush in his mouth.

   With his eyes on her, she slid into a pair of jeans, hopping up and down to get them over her lotioned up legs. Pulling the towel off of her head, she eased into a white t-shirt before tossing an Army jacket onto the bed. Negan handed her his own towel as she passed by him, and she hung them back on the towel rack before combing her hair. He was already dressed when she came back out and laced up her boots.

   Walking over to his desk where he was looking over some papers, she sat down on his lap, resting her arms on his shoulders as he grasped her waist. Lifting her hand, Gina combed his wet hair back with her fingers as she touched her lips to his temple.

   "What time are you leaving?" she murmured as she leaned back.

   "In about an hour," he told her as his hand slid down to her thigh, gripping it securely.

   She took a deep breath, trying to push down the anxiety that was causing her heart to contract. Sensing her distress, Negan let go of her thigh and lifted her chin so that they were looking each other in the eye. "I'm not going there to wipe out the town," he told her as she frowned slightly. "I just want to keep things on track, with as little bloodshed as possible."

   "Promise me," she urged him as her hands continued to sweep through his hair.

   "Promise you what?"

   There were so many things that she wanted to say. _Promise me that you'll come back to me. Promise me that you won't hurt my sister. Promise me that we can live in peace one day._

   "Just...promise me," she said as she kissed him quickly, lifting his hands off of her as she stood back up. Squaring her shoulders, she went back for her jacket before heading for the door, closing it behind her quietly. Lexie was walking into the lounge as Gina approached her. The young woman smiled hesitantly at her, and Gina touched her lightly on the shoulder as she passed. They hadn't seen each other since Gina had walked out a few days before, and she made a mental note to stop in to see them when things calmed down.

   After grabbing a freshly baked roll from the kitchen, she headed outside to see what time Daniel was heading out to the same neighborhood that they had swept previously. There were still several houses that were left to check, and it would take most of the day to accomplish. Hopefully, by the time they returned, Negan would be back and everything would be okay.

   When she approached, he mockingly knelt down as she flipped him off. "I'm coming with you," she told him as he grinned, standing back up. Dwight was going to be going to Alexandria along with several others, so Daniel was taking out two new recruits, a middle-aged man named Seth and a young woman he introduced as Angela. They were married and had been found trapped in an old supermarket a few miles away on one of Daniel's regular routes he told her.

   After nodding at each of them, she went over to get two guns and some knives for protection. Dwight was at the loading bay talking to a few men as she stepped up, taking two long serrated knives as she waited for Ethan to sign her out two pistols. He kept track of all the weapons and was meticulous about what came and went. As he handed her the guns, Gina initialed her name next to the descriptions of them as she shook her head.

   "Be careful out there," Dwight said as she holstered the guns in her belt.

   "It's not me I'm worried about," Gina said as she looked up. "Please do whatever you can to make sure everything stays calm," she continued as she gave him a quick hug. "And stay safe."

   Dwight patted her on the shoulder as she stepped back, and a variety of expressions crossed his face as she turned around to head back to Daniel's group. As they pulled out of the Sanctuary, she caught sight of Negan as he watched them leave.

   They were speeding down the highway when Daniel cleared his throat, giving her a sidelong glance. "So, what's the big boss really like?" he asked with a smirk.

   "Like a terrifying Santa Claus," Gina said with a straight face. "He sees you when you're sleeping, and he knows when you're awake. And he sure as shit knows when you've been naughty."

   She fought to hide a smile as Daniel's smirk faded away.

   "You're one of Negan's wives?" Angela asked, sounding skeptical.

   "Yes."

   "If you've got such a cushy gig, why the hell are you out here?" she asked as Gina turned around to glare at her.

   "Because I'm fucking good at it," she said, staring her down until Angela dropped her eyes. Satisfied, Gina turned back around. It felt good to get some of her pent up energy out on this woman since she had no other outlet at the moment.

   The rest of the trip was silent until they turned onto the shaded street that they'd be working on. There were a handful of walkers milling around, and they started shuffling slowly towards the truck as the four stepped out. Angela was the first to head towards the walkers, and Gina assumed it was because the wanted to prove herself.  Unholstering one of her guns, Gina held it up as she watched the young woman approach the cluster of the dead, stabbing one in the head. For some unwise reason, she turned around to look at Gina, and one of the walkers, who must have recently turned, moved at a fast clip, grabbing Angela by the arm, startling her. Before anyone else could react, Gina pulled the trigger, hitting it in the head, and it pitched forward, knocking the girl backward onto her ass. Seth ran forward, getting in front of his wife as Gina and Daniel followed. The two men stabbed the remaining walkers in the head as Gina extended her hand out, helping Angela back to her feet.

   "This isn't a pissing contest," she said firmly as Angela dusted herself off. "We're all out here to work together."

   With a grim nod, Angela went to stand next to Seth who looked to Daniel for direction.

   "You two take the right side of the street and we'll take the left," he ordered as each duo split off.

   "Fucking kids," Gina muttered as they walked up the first driveway.

   "You're going to be a great mom someday," Daniel joked as he rapped on the door.

   "Shut up, Daniel," she said with a genuine smile as they waited for movement.

   Gina and Daniel were sitting on the tailgate drinking water and sharing an extremely stale bag of chips when Seth and Angela finally came back down the street, dragging two blue totes. They had cleared all of the houses, and Daniel helped to load them up as Gina hopped down. Without a word, she held the bag out to Angela, who took it from her with half a smile.

   Climbing back in the truck, Gina turned on the air conditioning as she pulled her hair into a ponytail, fanning herself slightly as Daniel pulled into one of the driveways to turn around. The day had been beautiful, but extremely hot and muggy, and Gina looked forward to getting back to the Sanctuary. Hopefully, Negan was back, and they could enjoy a peaceful evening together.

   Her thoughts drifted to Alexandria as she wondered how everything went. Hopefully, Rick had stood down, and there wasn't much of a fight. Negan and Talia were her main concern, but she also didn't want anyone else to die. She knew that there would have been some sort of punishment if they had defied Negan, but maybe, just maybe, cooler heads had prevailed. Deep down in her gut, she was aware that the possibility was minute, but what was the point of living if one didn't have hope?

   As they turned on the road to the Sanctuary, her scalp started to burn, and when she saw Dwight waiting for them, her hands started to tremble. Whatever happened wasn't good, judging by the look on his face.

   Before Daniel could even come to a complete stop, she was opening her door, walking quickly to Dwight, who grabbed her firmly by the arms.

   "Just tell me what happened," she demanded, her voice rising.

   "Alexandria had weapons, a lot of weapons," he began as she interrupted.

   "Dwight," she said, her voice a warning. "Just fucking tell me."

   "Negan got shot-"

   She was out of his arms in a heartbeat, running into the Sanctuary at full speed, elbowing people out of the way as she pushed towards the infirmary. Two of the Saviors were guarding the door, and Gina pushed past them, whipping it open.

   Her heart was pounding as she saw him laying on one of the beds. His eyes were open, but he was covered in blood as some guy worked on him. He was younger than their old doctor, but she had no clue who he was. She stepped forward slowly, unsure of what to do, but wanting to be with him. Negan caught sight of her but started to tense up as the unnamed man dug into his arm with large tweezers.

   She rushed forward coming up to his good side and taking his hand. "This fucking hurts, Doc," Negan swore as the man continued to dig in the hole. He was laying on his good side, and the doctor was apparently trying to pull a bullet that was lodged in the back of Negan's shoulder.

   "I've almost got it," the doctor said with a grunt as he twisted the tweezers further, causing Negan to twitch and let out a string of swear words. A second later, he removed the tweezers and in between the prongs was a bullet, completely intact. He dropped it into a metal bowl and it clattered around before rolling to a stop. Gina turned her attention back to Negan, who was panting lightly.

   "You're Gina, correct?" the doctor asked her. She nodded her head as he resumed speaking.

   "I'm Doctor Carson," he told her as she cocked her head to the side. "The other Doctor Carson was my brother," he explained.

   "Okay, Gina," he said as he resumed checking the wound, "I'm going to need you to hand me that bottle of saline that's on the tray just over there," he said, pointing behind her. Without letting go of Negan's hand, she reached back and handed it over to him. Dr. Carson's steady hands directed the stream of water into the wound as Negan's eyes closed in pain. Her throat was dry as she peered at the gaping hole in his shoulder, and her stomach turned at the carnage. This was different than seeing a decayed, damaged walker. They didn't feel pain.

   After pressing a clean bandage to the gunshot, the new Dr. Carson held it firmly, checking it every few minutes to see if the blood flow was starting to slow down. When he was satisfied, he went to the supply cabinet, rummaging around for supplies and coming back with a suture kit and a sling. While he began to stitch the wound, Simon and Dwight came in, standing at the foot of the bed.

   "Is he going to be okay?" Simon asked, his hands on his hips as Dr. Carson glanced up. His hands were steady as he clipped the thread. "I'm fairly confident that there shouldn't be any nerve damage. He'll have to keep his arm immobilized for a few days, and obviously take it easy. I'll follow up, and then we can go from there."

   "Thank you so much," Gina told him as he turned his attention to her. He seemed startled that she was sincere, but he gave her a tentative smile. After cleaning Negan's chest and shoulder, he went to the sink to wash his hands. Stepping back, Gina watched as he helped Negan into a seated position. His face was pale as he took a deep breath and Dr. Carson slipped the sling over his head securing it firmly. He went over to the medicine cabinet, pulling out a bottle of pills, placing them in Gina's hand.

   "Give him one every six hours for the pain, and I recommend that he eats before taking them. They're pretty strong."

   "I'm standing right here," Negan snapped as Gina thanked him. Placing her arm around his waist, she helped him walk slowly to the door as Simon held it open. The hallway was clear, and they made their way to the stairwell where Dwight was waiting for them. About halfway up, they stopped for a few minutes so that Negan could get his bearings, resuming at a slower pace. By the time they reached the top floor, he was leaning heavily on her and she gripped him tighter as they headed for his room.

   When they reached the bed, she let go of him to prop up the pillows, and Negan sat down gingerly, leaning back with a grimace. Gina set the pills on the night table as he crossed his legs. "I'll be back in a few minutes," she told Simon before going downstairs to the kitchen.

   Scott fixed her a large plate of pasta with some more of the rolls from the morning along with a few bottles of water. Balancing the tray, she opened the stairwell door before climbing up the steps quickly, anxious to get some food into Negan's body before giving him a pain pill. When she reached the top, the door opened, nearly causing her to drop the tray. It was Lexie, and she caught one of the water bottles as it rolled off the edge.

   "Thanks," Gina muttered as she walked through the door. Lexie put the water back on the tray before Gina turned towards their room.

   "Is he going to be all right?" Lexie asked, seeming more curious than concerned. Gina gave her a tight smile before answering.

   "He's going to be fine."

   The door to her old room opened up, and Candy peeked out until she saw Gina, shutting the door swiftly. Gina had forgotten they were still on the floor, and she ground her teeth together before walking away.

   When she was back in the bedroom, she set the tray on her side of the bed as Negan ordered Dwight to keep watch on Alexandria from now on.

   "Either you or Simon and your crews are to have eyes on them at all fucking times," he said in a cold voice as Dwight nodded. "I want to know every move they make."

   "I'll take care of it personally," Dwight promised before glancing at Gina quickly. With a nod to Negan, he left. A moment later, Simon headed for the door with Gina hot on his heels. She tugged on his arm as they stepped out into the hallway, and he looked at her with interest.

   "Can you have someone move the two blondes back downstairs?" she asked as his eyebrows went up. "Negan already knows about it," she assured him as he shrugged his shoulders.

   "I'll take care of it tonight," he told her as she squeezed his arm. She knew it was petty and not the most important issue at hand, but she wanted them gone like Negan promised.

   Closing the door behind her, she hustled back into the bedroom where Negan was watching her. "What was that about?" he asked in a tired voice.

   "Just taking care of some unfinished business," she said as she bent over to pull his boots off.

   "The bimbos?" he guessed as she smiled at him.

   "Can you stand up?"

   "My legs aren't broken, doll," he said as she held out her hand. He grasped it and pulled himself into a sitting position before setting his feet on the ground. When he was upright, she unbuttoned his pants, letting him balance himself on her back as he stepped out of them one leg at a time. After tossing them into the laundry basket, she went into his armoire and retrieved a pair of pajama pants so that he would be comfortable.

   Once he was settled back, she went around to the other side, placing the tray between them. Cutting up the pasta into bite-sized pieces, Gina held out the fork. "I'm not hungry," he said petulantly as she took a calming breath.

   "You're going to eat," she told him as she shook the fork in his face, "and then you're going to take your pill and get some rest."

   "I'm fucking angry," he muttered before opening his mouth. Gina bit back a reply, choosing to open the bottle for him instead. Beneath her irritation was a profound relief that he was alive because she knew it could have ended much worse. He ate about half of the spaghetti before declining any more, and she didn't push the issue. Climbing off of the bed, she carried it into the office area, shoving a few bites into her mouth before taking the pills off of the night stand and handing it to Negan. He chucked it into his mouth before taking a long drink, handing her the bottle.

   Curling up on his uninjured side, she ran her fingers through his hair as he closed his eyes. "Aren't you going to ask me what happened?" he questioned as she pursed her lips.

   "I don't want to talk about it today," she told him as he sighed. "I just want to focus on the fact that you came back in almost one piece."

   "Your sister wasn't there as far as I know," he said as he shifted slightly. Gina felt a tickle in her chest as she pictured her sister, but didn't respond.

   His voice got a little drowsy as the pill began to kick in, and he opened his eyes to look at her. "How did you end up taking shooting and self-defense lessons?"

   Scooting down so that her face was close to his, she continued to run her hands Through his hair as she spoke, her eyes unfocusing slightly.

   "My parents were pretty well off. My dad worked as a defense contractor, and my mom came from money. We lived in a pretty nice house, and never really wanted for anything. Talia and I were young, maybe four when our dad took us on a trip to San Francisco. While we were gone, someone broke into our house, thinking it was empty. My mom walked in on them robbing the place and the guy panicked. He shot her and left her to die." Her throat closed up as tears pricked at her eyes. "When the housekeeper came the next morning, she found my mom."

   "I'm so sorry, darlin'," Negan said as she blinked the tears away.

   "After that, my dad became what some would call overprotective. He wanted his girls to always be safe, and he insisted that we learn to defend ourselves and never be without a gun."

   "Did they ever catch the guy?"

   "My dad told us that they caught him about six months later. Apparently, he had a drug problem and had robbed several houses in a short span of time. I'd like to think that he's rotting, literally rotting in a cell right about now."

   He turned his head towards her and she kissed him softly. "So given my tragic past, I would appreciate it if you would be a little more careful," she said softly. "I just got you all to myself, and I'm looking forward to many years of fighting with you, fucking you, and loving you."

   Negan's eyes drifted closed as she whispered into his ear. "Promise me."

   "Hmmm?" he mumbled sleepily.

   "Just...promise me."


	25. Chapter 25

**Talia**

 

   Her little bird started chirping as soon as the sun rose, and Talia rolled over, her arm flopping onto Daryl's stomach. Startled, he sat up quickly as she opened her eyes.

   "Sorry," she rasped, her throat still aching. Reaching onto the nightstand, he opened the pill bottle, shaking out one of the white pain pills into the palm of his hand.

   Talia sat up slowly, getting her bearings as her cheek throbbed steadily. It was so swollen that it obscured her vision, making it impossible for her to see anything below the right side of her nose. Almost as bad, her muscles were sore from fighting the female Savior, though it was better than being dead.

   Taking the pill from Daryl's hand, she set it on her tongue before taking a drink of water from the glass that he handed her. She was able to get it down in one try, and after pulling her legs free from the covers, she stood up carefully before limping into the bathroom. She knew she probably looked bad, but nothing prepared her for the reflection that stared back at her when she flipped on the light.

   "Holy shit," she muttered as she examined her face. The whites of her eyes were covered in red spots from broken blood vessels and her cheek was almost comically enlarged, blooming out in shades of red and purple. A two inch cut along the outside of her eye capped it off.

   Daryl hovered in the doorway as she turned to look at him instead of whatever passed as her face. "I look hideous," she mumbled as he approached her, brushing the hair out of her face.

   "Ya look like a woman who survived a hell of a fight and won."

   Leaning down, he kissed her tenderly on the lips before placing his hands on her waist, pulling her closer to him. "You'll feel better after a shower."

   Talia sat down on the toilet lid as Daryl started the water for her. When it was ready, he helped her take her shirt off, making sure it didn't graze her cheek. "I'll fix ya some breakfast while you clean up," he said before closing the door. Stripping off the rest of her clothes, she climbed into the stall, wincing when the water hit her cheek, causing it to sting.

   Though it was probably a waste of resources, she lingered under the warm water, letting it loosen up her sore body. Replaying the previous day's events in her mind, she pondered if there was any way it could have gone differently. Had she not missed, they may very well have been free of the Saviors. But Negan had escaped, and given his temper, he would be hell bent on revenge.

   However since they were no longer opening their gates to him, they would be able to continue to build up their arsenal and supplies. Once she was recovered, Talia wanted to talk to Rick about heading back to the naval base to retrieve everything that wasn't nailed down. They would need to fortify their walls for sure, since Negan and his crew were in possession of some firepower of their own.

   One of the Saviors grenades had damaged the pantry house, though, from her hazy recollection, the house was repairable. They could probably take some supplies for that job from the naval housing. What they really needed were some big trucks. The bigger the better.

   After drying herself off, she went back into the bedroom, where Daryl had laid out some clothes for her. A pair of shorts and a men's tank top were put together. Smirking at how sweet he was, she put her bra and panties on before sliding them on. The top hung loosely on her and the bra straps were sticking out, but in light of more serious issues, she shrugged it off.

   Talia rubbed her head with the towel before combing her hair and twisting it up into a wet bun. Making her way downstairs, she could hear the clatter of dishes, and she hurried a little faster to see what he was up to.

   Daryl had set the table for two, and there were two steaming bowls of tomato soup. Talia walked in smiling broadly.

   His face flushed slightly when he glanced up and saw the expression on Talia's face. "I hope you like tomato soup. I know it's not really a breakfast food," he said gruffly, which only made her smile wider. "What?" he asked as he pulled out the chair for her to sit in.

   "You're just too adorable for words," she said with a goofy smile before rubbing her swollen cheek lightly.

   "I think your pill is kickin' in," he muttered as she placed a napkin in her lap. "Besides, it's not like ya have a lot of men to choose from."

   "Whoa, whoa," she said as she looked at him sharply. "Hold on a second. Are you insinuating that I'm with you because I don't have any better options?"

   "That's not what I meant," he replied lamely as he sat down next to her.

   "Oh, I think it is." Hurt washed over her as Daryl refused to look at her. "The question is, why would you want to be with me if you really think I'm that shallow?"

   "I don't think you're shallow," he replied as he lifted up his spoon, letting it dangle in his grip. "I just meant that you and I are different. We came from two different worlds, and if there was someone better out there, I'd want ya to be with them."

   Talia struggled against her instinct to lash out at him. Instead, she took a deep breath and tried to see things from his point of view. She knew that when she told him about her life before, that it only served to highlight their differences. But she also thought that she came across as the kind of person that didn't care about material things.

   "Why are you saying this now?"

   Daryl shrugged as he dipped his spoon into the soup, swirling it around without looking up at her. She reached out and placed her hand on his arm to stop him, feeling his muscles tense as she waited patiently for him to acknowledge her. When their eyes met, she spoke as evenly as she could.

   "Have I ever given you a reason to think that I think I'm better than you? If I did, then I want to apologize."

   "No, you haven't," he told her as she wrapped her fingers around his wrist.

   "While it's true that I've dated men that came from privileged backgrounds, I've also dated others that haven't. Regardless, none of them ever had what I was looking for. You do."

   Talia released his wrist, lifting her hands to his face. Running her thumb across his cheek, she watched as his eyes closed, and he brought his hand up, placing it over hers.

   "I thought you were dead when I found you," he said, sounding so forlorn that it actually made her throat close up more. "You were layin' there so still, and your chest didn't look like it was moving. I just kept thinkin' that someone else coulda kept you safe. Someone else coulda ended this before you ever had to be in that position."

   "Daryl, I was in that position because I chose to be, and I would do it again. No one, man or woman could have prevented any of this. In fact, if I would have been more careful and prepared, I would have blocked the door. What happened was on me and only me. You can't keep blaming yourself for everything that goes wrong. No one else does."

   His eyes opened as he studied her face. "Besides, now you're stuck with a woman that looks like Quasimodo," she said with a smile.

   "I don't care how you look," he growled as he pulled her hand into his lap. Her eyebrows rose, but he continued on. "You're beautiful inside and out, even if you look like whoever the hell you just said."

   Talia used her other hand to pull him to her, kissing him deeply before letting go. "Then stop killing my pain pill buzz, and let's eat this awesome breakfast."

   When they were done, Talia stood up, carrying the bowls to the sink. Walking to the door, she slipped into a pair of sandals and threw a light jacket over her shirt as Daryl held the door open to walk her to see Rosita at the infirmary. Since her muscles were still sore, she kept the pace leisurely, and Daryl didn't seem to mind, leading her by the hand as people bustled about.

   Several of the Alexandrians were hard at work repairing the damage from the fight the previous day. Someone had gone out and found wood, and the sounds of hammering echoed in the air as men worked on the pantry house. Rick was overseeing the crew as he caught sight of the two of them.

   They reached him as he wiped his forehead, already sweating in the morning sun. "How are you feeling?" he questioned as he took in her injuries.

   "Exactly like I look," she replied with a smirk. "I'd say I've been through worse, but I don't think I have. Wait," she said, rubbing her chest scar,"yes I have."

   "Well, I know Rosita's waiting on you, so let her give you the once over."

   "Sure, boss," she teased as he rolled his eyes. Talia knew that he didn't like being called that even though he was clearly in charge. With a shake of his head, he headed back over to the pantry, talking with Tobin as they examined the chimney.

   The infirmary was quiet as they entered, and Rosita turned around from where she was stocking supplies. She appraised Talia quickly before pointing her to the nearest bed.

   After grabbing a penlight, she came over, standing in front of Talia as she had her follow her finger, testing her eye movement. Then she shined the light in her eyes to test her pupil reaction. Finally, Rosita felt her face, testing the swelling as Talia tried to breathe through her nose.

   "Open up," she ordered as Talia complied, and Rosita pointed the light down her throat. "Swallow." It was uncomfortable but manageable, and she waited for Rosita to give her opinion.

   "The swelling in your throat looks better," she said as she tapped the penlight on her palm rapidly. "Stick to liquids for the time being. Your eyes seem to be okay as well, and you've got good movement and reaction. So you're going to have to rest for at least seven days to allow the swelling to go down in your face."

   Talia opened her mouth to argue but stopped when she saw the look on Rosita's face.

   Turning quickly, she walked over to the cupboard, pulling out a small pill bottle. "You also need to take this antibiotic twice a day to prevent an infection," she instructed as she handed it over to Daryl.

   "What the hell am I going to do for a week?" she muttered as Rosita scoffed.

   "Heal," she said sharply. "So you can help us continue to fight."

   "Fine," Talia replied just as heatedly. "Thanks for checking me."

   Hopping down, she headed for the door with Daryl following behind her. "She's acting like I did this on purpose," Talia snapped as he caught up to her.

   "She's just upset," he reasoned. "She thought we were going to kill Negan yesterday."

   "Well, it's not like we didn't try," Talia said as they walked home. "She's pushing everyone away, and it's bullshit. We all want this over with."

   "I know," Daryl agreed. "But she lost Abraham, watched Spencer die, and Eugene got taken because of her stunt with the bullet."

   Talia softened slightly as she thought about it. Rosita did have a lot to digest, she reasoned. "You're right," she said as they got to their walkway. Climbing up the steps, she pushed the door open, walking into the living room. Their couch was big and comfy, one of those overstuffed varieties, and she curled up on her side, adjusting the pillow as Daryl covered her up with the blanket that usually hung over the back.

   He went into the kitchen, returning with a bottle of water that he placed in front of her as she gazed up at him. "I'm going to go help Rick out for a while. Get some rest," he told her as he kissed her on the forehead. "You'll be better soon, and maybe we can go out to get some supplies together."

   "You always know how to cheer me up," she said as her eyes started to close. The last thing she heard was the door closing softly, and her bird chirping happily outside.


	26. Chapter 26

 

   Daryl handed Talia the keys to the blue truck as Michonne leaned against the driver's side door. "I can still go with you," she offered as Talia tilted her head to the right. 

   "You'd really pass up the chance to have a night away with Rick?" she asked with a grin as Michonne chewed on the inside of her cheek. 

   "It's not like he's going to a bed and breakfast," she grumbled as Talia smiled wider. "He's spending the night at the Kingdom to try to convince Ezekiel to join us finally in fighting."

   "You can be just as persuasive as Rick," Talia replied. "In fact, the combination of you two is pretty hard to resist." Michonne's cheeks darkened as she rolled her eyes. "You guys have the perfect opportunity to pull the Kingdom in with Dwight on watch."

   A few days before, Dwight had returned to Alexandria to update them on the Sanctuary. Negan was recovering from his gunshot wound and had ordered Dwight and Simon to watch their community for any activity. He wanted to know if Rick was in collusion with any of the other settlements, and was also determined to find out where Alexandria was getting its weapons. When Dwight was on watch, he always checked in before retreating outside the walls in case Negan sent someone to observe the observer. 

   The Saviors were continuing to collect from the Hilltop and the Kingdom, while Maggie and Sasha trained their people in secret, away from Gregory's prying eyes. This would be Rick and Michonne's first visit back to the Kingdom since they were refused any help. Rick was hopeful that with a gift of weapons and an update of the stand that they had taken would inspire King Ezekiel to join them. 

   Dwight had also told Talia that Gina was closer than ever to Negan, taking care of him at all times. Talia had taken that news hard, retreating to her room to mope until Daryl came to check on her. 

   "I'm going to lose my sister over this," she told him sadly as he pulled her into his arms. 

   "Time heals all wounds," he told her softly, sounding so unlike himself that she stepped back to look at him. He ran his fingers across her healing face as she swallowed hard. "It'll heal yours, and it'll heal hers, too."

   As Michonne stood up, Rosita and Aaron approached, each carrying a bag. "Are we heading out?" Rosita asked crisply as Aaron glanced at her out of the corner of his eye. 

   "We were waiting on you," Talia answered with exaggerated patience. She wasn't happy when Daryl told her that Rosita was joining them, but he insisted that she would be more than useful, especially as they searched the naval base for more weapons. Rosita was still walking around with a chip on her shoulder, lashing out at anyone and everyone. Talia was the complete opposite of happy to find out that she and Rosita would be working together. 

   "You two are ridin' together," Daryl told her as Talia glared at him. After squeezing her hand, he motioned for Aaron to follow him. This was the first time Talia had seen Aaron since they lost Holly and Eric, and she knew he was hanging on by a thread right now. Rick had suggested that they take him to get him away from Alexandria for a while, sensing that he needed some space away from his and Eric's home for the past couple of years. 

   With an internal grumble, she waved goodbye to Michonne and climbed into the driver's seat, starting up the truck with a rumble. Rosita positioned herself in the passenger's seat, tossing a bag into the back seat before unrolling the window. Putting the truck in reverse, Talia backed up slowly before heading for the gate, which was already open. She then proceeded down the road before checking the rearview mirror to verify that Daryl was behind her. 

   Once he cleared the gate, she pressed down on the gas, speeding up as they turned onto the highway. They rode in silence for about a half an hour before Talia finally decided to give it a try. 

   "Where'd you get all the medical training?" she asked as Rosita continued to stare out the window. After waiting over a minute with no response, Talia took a deep breath.

   "Look, I'm trying here," she said as Rosita let out a huff. "I don't know what to ask you that won't tie directly back to Abraham and Eugene. If you don't want to talk, fine. You're doing a bang-up job at pushing people away. So well that you may find yourself alone if that's what you really want." Talia unrolled her own window before glancing at Rosita. "And if being isolated is your goal, then why the hell are you still fighting for Alexandria?"

   Rummaging around in the glove box, she found a cd and popped it into the stereo. The twangy sounds of the classic country came blaring out of the stereo, and Talia rolled her eyes. Still, it was better than sitting in an uncomfortable silence with Rosita. 

   It wasn't until they could see the Potomac on the horizon that Rosita finally spoke.

   "I was a medic in the Army."

    "Is that where you learned everything else you can do?" Talia asked as Rosita turned the radio down slightly.

   "Any man that's ever made his way through my life has taught me something," she said coldly before continuing. "Some men, they look at women like us, and all they see is the outside. They think we're weak, that we need to be pampered and protected. So I'd let them for a while. I'd feed their ego, ask them to show me how to do what they could do, whether is was shooting a gun or fixing an engine. When I got all I could out of them, I'd move on."

   Talia couldn't help but smile as she turned onto the bridge. "I've had many a man doubt my shooting abilities. They always thought that I was exaggerating, or try to talk down to me when I'd mention it. But a quick trip to a firing range would always shut that shit down real fast." The corners of Rosita's mouth turned up slightly.

   Slowing the truck down as they approached the base, she and Rosita scanned carefully for any signs of life. There were a smattering of walkers along the entrance, so Talia stopped next to the guard gate so that they could clear the way. Daryl and Aaron pulled up behind them, stepping out with knives drawn and the foursome each took a direction. Talia cleared two walkers as Rosita had three on her side. Daryl and Aaron each dispatched of four walkers in quick succession before meeting back up with the two women.

   Talia drove cautiously into the base as Rosita pulled out a few guns from the bags, ready for anything. Keeping to the outside streets as they scanned the buildings, Rosita pointed out the armory. Parking the truck in the middle of the lot, they fanned out towards the large, nondescript building. As they approached the doors, Aaron pulled a pair of bolt cutters out of one of the bags, using it to removed the large set of chains that circled the metal door knobs. 

   The doors opened only after Daryl and Aaron kicked at them for several minutes, swinging open with a metallic screech. Stepping back, they waited for any walkers that were trapped inside, but nothing materialized. Rosita handed everyone a flashlight, and they stepped inside cautiously. The air was stale and smelled strongly of death and decay.

   Taking the first turn to the right, Rosita led them through a series of hallways that snaked to the center of the large armory. Just outside a set of large double doors, there were two walkers laying on the ground, barely more than skeletons covered with a thin layer of skin. Aaron pulled off their helmets as they weakly reached out, ending their undead lives.

   As Rosita examined the doors, Daryl and Talia divested the former soldiers of their weapons. Reaching into the bag, Rosita pulled out one of their blowtorches, lighting it expertly. Holding up the flashlight, Aaron extended his arm as close as he dared while she worked on trying to get the lock melted. 

   While they waited, Talia and Daryl continued down the hallway, finding a break room around the corner. The cupboards were still stocked with coffee, dry creamer, and sugar as well as several boxes of snacks. It wasn't high on the list of priorities, but they took everything just the same. 

   "We're in!"  
  
   Hurrying back down the hall, they found Rosita pushing at the doors with Aaron. It took several attempts to get them to open just a few feet wide. One by one, they squeezed themselves into the large room which was filled with weapons from floor to ceiling. There was every kind of gun imaginable, and they loaded up large carts, setting the stash down carefully as Rosita lit up the torch again, this time cutting through the metal gate that secured the ammunition. 

   Once she cut a hole large enough to crawl through, she used some of the water that they brought, pouring it along the hot edges to help it cool down before crawling through. Talia dragged a large dolly over that was propped up in the corner, stacking the boxes of ammo in neat piles as Daryl and Aaron made several trips back and forth to the trucks. After handing Talia the last box, Rosita hefted herself back onto the counter, wiggling through and taking Talia's hand as she jumped back down onto the ground.

   Talia pulled her into a hard hug, not caring if Rosita wanted it or not. "You're fucking amazing," she told her before releasing her. Rosita gave her a genuine smile as they took the handle of the dolly, pulling it to the doors. Once they got there, they realized that the opening was too narrow to pull it through, so they each took a side, yanking at the doors until they opened just wide enough to allow them to wedge the dolly through.

   When they reached the entrance, Daryl came over to help them the rest of the way while Aaron kept watch, securing a tarp over the black truck to hide the guns. Once everything was in place, they pulled out, heading back the way they came. The job had taken them several hours, and Talia suggested that they go to the base housing that they had stayed in on the previous trip. 

   "I'd like to come back in the morning," Rosita told her as they made their way back onto the main road. She was looking out at the river as they drove and Talia glanced over. 

   "Why? What do you think we're missing?"

   "There's probably some vehicles we can take. Hell, there may be some pretty heavily fortified trucks here. All bases usually have a filling station, so if we can get the generator up and running, we can get fuel, too."

    "Would the fuel even be good at this point?" Talia wondered as the walls of the housing community stretched out along the road.

   "It can be filtered if it's not too bad. We just need cans so we can transport it back if there's not a fuel truck there."

   "Sounds like a plan."

   When they reached the gates, Talia hopped out, pulling the chain back off that they had tied loosely to keep the appearance that it was still locked up. Leading Daryl, she turned down the first street they cleared, pulling into the house that they had stayed at previously. Rosita went over to the garage door and was able to heft it up as Talia turned around in the street so that she could back the truck in. It was a tight squeeze, but Daryl was able to fit the other vehicle in as well, and she climbed out the window, swinging her legs out and jumping down onto the concrete floor.  
  
   Daryl took her by the hand as they closed the garage door, securing the fruits of their labor before making their way into the house. Once inside, Aaron dragged one of the chairs from the living room over to the large picture window to keep watch, closing the drapes halfway, leaving enough to see the street. Dropping her supply bag on the table, Talia unzipped it, pulling out water and food for everyone. 

   "If you want to take the first watch," she told Aaron and Rosita, "Daryl and I will get some rest and finish the rest of the night."

   Aaron gave her a wan smile as he accepted the water and canned fruit. "It's okay," he told her. "I don't get much sleep anymore."

   Brushing his head lightly, Talia squatted down next to him. "I can only imagine what you're going through, but you need to try," she murmured as Daryl walked up the steps to the second floor. "We'll take over in a couple of hours. Rosita wants to go back to the base in the morning, and everyone needs to be well rested."

   Squeezing his shoulder, she stood back up, nodding to Rosita before carrying some food and drinks upstairs. Even though the master bedroom was empty, she found Daryl in the same bedroom as the last time. He had reopened the windows, and the curtains blew lightly as he kept watch out the window. Setting the supplies on the bed, she came up behind him, wrapping her arms around his waist and leaning her head in between his shoulder blades. 

   "Come eat," she told him as he turned around in her arms, kissing her softly before kicking off his boots and climbing onto the bed. Talia did the same, sitting cross-legged across from him as they each opened their water. She had brought him a pack of jerky and a bag of crackers for herself, though they shared them evenly.

   When they were done, Daryl settled back as Talia laid her head on his chest, listening to the wind chime that was hanging outside the window. Before she knew what was happening, Daryl was shaking her awake. It was the middle of the night as she sat up, yawning so widely that her jaw popped.

   "We should go relieve Aaron and Rosita," he said, raising his hands above his head to stretch his arms. Sliding to the edge of the bed, she shoved her feet back into her boots before standing up and touching the floor with her hands to loosen up her body. She trudged downstairs after Daryl and found Rosita sitting in the kitchen, watching out the back door. 

   "Go get some sleep," she told her in between yawns as Rosita stood up. 

   "I'll be up as soon as the sun comes up," she replied as she passed by, her footsteps fading as she rounded the corner. 

   The rest of the night passed slowly as Talia kept watch out the back window. The stars were sparkling up in the sky and the moon was full, shining brightly down on the houses, giving everything a silvery glow. One lone walker wandered aimlessly through the backyard, alerted by the wind chime that blew overhead. She considered going out and killing it but decided to wait until daylight, instead bracing her legs against the door.

   When the sun finally rose, Talia stood up stiffly, kicking her legs back and forth to get the blood flowing. She unlocked the back door, catching the walker's attention and drawing it towards her. Plunging her knife into its temple, she stepped back as it dropped to the ground in a heap. Turning around, she jumped slightly as she spied Daryl in the doorway watching her.

   "Can you not always be so quiet?" she asked as she kissed him on the cheek, walking past him into the kitchen. He had set out a toothbrush for each of them along with some water. By the time they cleaned up, Rosita and Aaron came stumbling down the steps, looking as tired as Talia felt.

   She and Daryl climbed in the blue truck while Rosita took charge of the black one, and they retraced their route back to the base. Daryl let Rosita through the gates first, and followed behind her as she wound her way around several buildings before stopping at the gates of a chain link fence with barbed wire surrounding the top.

 

   As the sun started to set, their caravan of vehicles approached the gates of Alexandria. They had acquired one tanker truck and three armored vehicles, two of which were towing their regular trucks behind them. Talia fought to keep her eyes open until they got just outside the entrance and she saw two large livestock trailers parked outside the fences. 

   The procession slowed to a crawl as the trucks navigated their way into the community. Rick directed them into the parking area as a group of people crowded around.

   Shutting off the ignition, she opened the door as Daryl waited for her, helping her step down. 

   "How did it go?" Rosita asked as she joined Rick and Michonne while Aaron unhooked one of the trucks before stripping off the tarp so that the guns could be unloaded.

   "Come on back to my house," he instructed them with a wave of his hand. 

   They followed him in silence as people swarmed around, pulling everything from the trucks. When they walked into his house, the smell of pasta filled the air. Carl was at the stove, scooping portions onto plates as everyone else sat down at the table. Bringing them over, he set them down one by one as people started to dig in, hungry from working all day. 

   "First off," Rick said as he wiped his mouth, "I want to thank you for all your hard work. You exceeded even my lofty expectations. I thought you would return with some guns, not the entire U. S. Army."

   "Thank Rosita," Daryl said in between bites. "This was all her."

   Michonne raised her glass to salute Rosita, holding it out of Judith's grasp as everyone followed suit. 

   "Secondly, Michonne and I met with Ezekiel, and he's agreed to join the fight. We're going to be spending more time there coming up with some strategies over the next few days."

   "You really are persuasive," Talia said with a grin as she winked at Michonne, whose face fell slightly.

   "It wasn't really us that tipped the scales," Michonne said as she looked at Rick. "It was Carol."

   "Carol? You found her?" Daryl asked, his face turning stony.

   "Yeah, we found her," Rick said, setting his fork down. "She's been living in a house just outside the Kingdom. Ezekiel took us to see her."

   "She's been around this whole time?" Rosita snapped, her good mood gone.

   "She needed time," Rick argued as he stood up. "She was in a bad place when she left."

   "Yeah, well, we're all in a bad place," she spat as she stood up and walked out. 

   Shaking his head, Rick let her go without a word. He drummed his fingers on the table as Daryl sat stiffly, still reeling from finding out that Carol was with the Kingdom the whole time, something Morgan had neglected to mention. 

   "I told her about Glenn and Abraham," Rick announced as Talia pushed her plate away, her appetite gone. "It tore her up pretty bad."

   Talia could only imagine. She knew that Carol had been with Glenn from the start, and she never got the chance to say goodbye. Reaching out, she took Daryl's hand under the table, squeezing it gently before letting it drop.

   "I don't mean to change the subject," she said as she stood up, carrying her plate to the sink, "but where in the hell did you find cattle trailers, and what are they for?"

   A chilly smile formed on Rick's lips as he leaned back in his chair, causing the back of her neck to tingle. "There's a farm about ten miles south of here, and the trailers were out near the road when we passed. We took Tobin back with us and we were able to get them started. They're going to help us make a very special delivery to the Sanctuary."


	27. Chapter 27

  
**Gina**

 

   Pushing herself faster, Gina turned the outside corner of the Sanctuary pulling her baseball cap lower to block out the sun. It was just before noon, and the air was thick with humidity, but she relished the chance to be outside burning off some energy.

   The past two weeks had been unpleasant, to say the least. The longer Negan was out of commission, the surlier he got. If he wasn't lashing out at Gina, he was barking orders at Simon and Dwight, obsessing over Alexandria. She understood why, but she resented being a bullseye for his frustration. Most nights they slept facing away from each other, though Gina thought about reaching out to him several times before stopping herself.

   She and Daniel had only made one run, and it felt so good to be out of the Sanctuary that she had for the first time dreaded returning. When she arrived back, Negan was already asleep, and he hadn't asked her about it the next day. Her patience was beginning to wear thin, so in the interest of keeping the peace, she went out for a run as he discussed strategy with Simon.

   As she passed by the picnic tables, she saw Candy and the other blonde sitting with Daniel, one on each side. Choosing to ignore them, she kept up her pace, continuing around the building. On her second pass, Gina hit a pothole and went flying, her knee crashing down into the asphalt as she threw her hands out. Pain exploded through her leg as she heard peals of laughter behind her.

   Stunned, she rolled herself onto her butt as she propped up her leg. Blood was running down her shin and she had scrapes and pebbles embedded in the heels of her hands.

   "Jesus, are you all right?"

   Looking up, she saw Daniel standing over her with wide eyes.

   "I'll be fine," she muttered, her pride hurting almost as badly as her knee.

   He bent down, scooping her up in one quick motion as she tried to protest, carrying her towards the building. Resigned to being babied, she put her arm around his shoulder as she hugged her other hand to her chest, her palm stinging. Candy and her friend were glaring at her as they passed by, though Daniel didn't seem to notice.

   "We'll have Dr. Carson take a look at you to make sure you're going to be okay," he said as he rounded the corner, walking steadily towards the main door.

   "Really, I'll be fine," she replied, her cheeks burning, "I just need to wash it off."

   "Don't be stupid," Daniel retorted with a grin. "You don't want it getting infected."

   They passed through the cafeteria as people watched them in open curiosity before walking down the hall to the infirmary. Using one hand, he opened the door and carried her over to the bed closest to the doctor's office.

   Dr. Carson was currently stitching the hand of one of the Saviors, and he glanced up, nodding to her that he'd be with her soon. Daniel plopped down next to her as she pulled her legs up to her chest, her hand resting in sticky blood.

   When the Savior was cleared to go, Dr. Carson washed his hands before coming to stand in front of her with a smile. "So what happened here?"

   Daniel spoke before she could, answering with a chuckle. "She took a header, Doc. Bounced like a rubber ball."

   "Ouch. Did you hit your head, Gina?"

   She glared at Daniel before answering. "No, I just went down on my knee. I put my hands out to break the fall," she said, holding them out for him to examine.

   "Okay, let's get your leg cleaned up first so I can see what we're working with."

   After applying antiseptic, causing Gina to swear under her breath, he began to pick out bits of rock that were dotting the large scrape. Daniel watched in fascination until the door swung open, hitting the counter with a bang. All three looked up as Negan came storming through, his face red.

   "Get the fuck out before I split your fucking head open like a cantaloupe," he snarled at Daniel, who hopped off the bed so quickly that he was practically a blur. Turning his glare towards her, he stepped up behind Dr. Carson, whose hands trembled slightly while he continued to remove the debris from her knee.

   "Leave. Now."

   Without a word, Dr. Carson set down the tweezers and disappeared into his office, shutting the door quietly.

   "What is your problem?" Gina asked angrily as he stared down his nose at her.

   "My _problem_ ," he sneered as he glared at her, "is that I have people telling me that you and that little asshole had your arms wrapped around each other outside in front of the whole goddamned building."

   Gina started to laugh until she saw the look on his face. "Oh my God, you're serious."

   "You think this is a joke?" he said, putting his face inches from hers. "Nobody disrespects me. Ever."

   "Well, did these mysterious people also bother to tell you that I fucking fell while I was running?" she yelled, shoving her hand into his face, causing him to take a step back. "Or did they leave that little bit of info out? And the reason he was even touching me was to carry me in to get help."

   His nostrils flared slightly as he looked down at her leg, but his expression didn't change. "You've got a lot of nerve accusing me of anything," she said angrily. "I've spent the last two weeks waiting on you hand and foot without so much as a thank you. I've never given you any reason to think I'd do anything behind your back, but you're so quick to believe someone else. And we both know goddamned well who it was."

   "Doctor Carson," Gina called out as she locked eyes with Negan. The door opened a crack as he stuck his head out. "Can you please come back and finish cleaning my knee?"

   To his credit, the doctor walked out calmly, edging around Negan as he resumed his work. Gina put her head down, disregarding both of them until she heard the door slam, shaking the window. "Sorry about that," she muttered as he patted her shoulder gently.

   After cleaning and wrapping her knee, he cleansed both of her hands, patching them up with bandaids and sending her on her way with some antibiotic ointment. Limping slightly, she headed for the stairs, climbing to the top floor slowly.

   When she got back to their bedroom, she opened the door to find it empty. Gina stripped off her running clothes, tossing them into the hamper before going to the bathroom and showering. While she was toweling her hair, she thought long and hard about what she wanted to do regarding the situation with Negan.

   She was dressed and zipping up a large duffel bag when he finally returned, carrying Lucille on his uninjured shoulder. He had stopped wearing the sling a few days before, though he wasn't allowed to use the arm much.

   Standing up she picked up the duffel bag and walked towards him as he watched her silently. Her face was neutral as she stood in front of him.

   "What are you doing?"

   "I have some things to take care of," Gina said as she hoisted the bag over her shoulder. "Meet me outside in a half an hour."

   "Why?"

   "Because I asked you to," she said quietly, closing the door behind her.

   Gina was leaning against a small pickup truck that was rarely used when he came out the door, looking around warily. After a quick scan, he spotted her and walked over, still carrying his bat. She noticed that his face dropped slightly when he saw that there were two large bags in the bed of the truck along with a cooler. Before he could say anything, she opened the passenger door.

   "Get in."

   "What?" he asked in surprise, dropping the bat at his side.

   "Please get in," she said with excessive patience. Shaking his head, he pulled himself into the seat, and she shut the door behind him.

   Coming around the front of the truck, she opened the door and hopped in, starting it up quickly. Sticking her arm out the window, she waved to the guard who opened the gate, and they sped out into the late summer sun.

   Surprisingly, he sat silently with the bat between his legs as she drove, twisting and turning down several roads before veering sharply in between two bushes that were so overgrown, they covered up the dirt lane that was there. The branches brushed up against the sides of the truck as they passed through, opening up to a shaded dirt passage.

   The grass was long and swaying in the breeze as she continued on, driving several minutes until a house came into view. It was a large farmhouse that had been completely gutted and rebuilt, nestled back on a large property that was secluded from the surrounding areas.

   She and Daniel had found it the other day completely by chance. Gina had been looking out the window and noticed the dirt road just underneath the overgrown branches, and convinced Daniel to turn around and go back so that they could explore. Whoever had owned it left it in pristine condition, even covering up all of the furniture with sheets, perhaps confident that they would return someday.

   Bringing the car to a stop in the gravel in front of the large porch, she turned off the ignition and opened the door. Reaching into the bed, she pulled out the bags, tossing them up onto the porch before lifting out the cooler.

   "Gina, what the fuck are we doing here?" Negan asked as he walked towards the steps. She didn't answer as she stepped around him, climbing up carefully before squatting down and lifting up the faded mat that sat in front of the door. The key that they found was right where they left it, and she slid it into the lock before dropping it back on the porch and using her boot to cover it back up.

   He looked around cagily as he walked in. The furnishings were still covered, but the walls were bright white, and the ceilings were covered in distressed wood. Gina set down the cooler, limping over to the couch that sat in the middle of the parlor, pulling the sheet off carefully so that dust didn't fly everywhere.

   "Please sit down," she told him before disappearing into the kitchen with the cooler. She set it on the counter before unlocking the door to the garage. In the corner of the large room was a generator, and she flipped the switch, causing it to hum to life. Satisfied, she walked back in to see a few lights on and the light on the stove blinking.

   She turned it on to preheat before walking back into the parlor where Negan was sitting just as she asked him to. Her heart began to thump as she approached him, placing her uninjured knee along his thigh and straddling him carefully.

   "My first instinct after you embarrassed me horribly in the infirmary was to lash out," she said quietly as he looked up at her. Negan opened his mouth to speak, but she placed her finger to his lips. "I don't think I've ever given you a reason to think that I'd cheat on you. I've never cheated on anyone in my life, and I certainly wouldn't start now. You're the only man that I want."

   "It also hurt me that you'd take the word of a girl that wants to get back at me," she continued as he frowned. "I'm a pretty straightforward person, and if I wanted out, I'd tell you, and I hope that you respect me enough to tell me if you do."

   "I'm sorry," he replied, dropping his head so that it rested against her chest. "I got angry. I'm just so fucking angry about everything right now."

   "I know you are," Gina said as she ran her nails down his neck. "I know being hurt has taken its toll on you. That's why I brought you here. We need a break, just for one night."

   She lifted her arms as he let her go, and she stood up carefully. "I'll be right back," she told him as she went back into the kitchen, putting their dinner into the oven to heat up. Flipping on the basement lights, she walked down the steps into the lower level which was musty but cool. There were racks and racks of every type of wine imaginable, and she thought briefly of never returning to the Sanctuary. She could happily live in this house forever.

   After selecting two bottles, she returned upstairs, turning on the kitchen faucet, which shook and screeched before brown water started to trickle out. While she poured two glasses of wine, the water began to clear, so she turned it off before returning to Negan.

   "I don't know who these people were," she said as she handed him one of the glasses, "but they were living the dream."

   "Christ, they even had wine?" he said as his eyebrows rose, and he swirled it around to let it breathe.

   "This is a very nice Bordeaux," she murmured as she watched him. "They've got a wine cellar in the basement."

   "Can you even imagine?" she asked as she leaned back. "Wine cellar, solar powered generators and complete solitude."

   Glancing over, she saw that Negan was watching her sorrowfully. She sat up as she turned to face him. "What's wrong?"

   "Darlin', you know I can't stay here. I have unfinished business, and the Sanctuary is our home."

   Gina could feel the tears forming in her eyes unexpectedly as she smiled at him. "I know, Negan. I just want one night of normal, okay?"

   He nodded at her as she stood up. "I'm going to get the food. Can you take the sheet off of the dining table?" She walked away before he could respond, retreating to the kitchen before the tears spilled down her cheeks. Wiping them away with the back of her hand, she opened a few drawers before she found an oven mitt, and pulled the food from the stove.

   Part of her, deep down, was broken-hearted at his words. But she knew who he was when she fell in love with him. She knew that he would never stop until he conquered the world. She either had to accept it or move on. And she loved him too much to move on.

   Taking a deep breath, she shook her hair out of her face and carried the plates into the dining room, where he was sitting at the head of the table. With a smile, she sent the hot meal in front of him as he watched her closely. Blessedly, he didn't say anything as she took the chair next to him.

   Their meal consisted of breaded chicken with a cream sauce, roasted potatoes and baked apples which were overflowing with caramel sauce. She had the head chef prepare them for this trip, and they whipped it up in record time. They ate quietly, each enjoying the wine and the food.

   After setting down his fork, Negan reached for her hand, pulling her out of her chair and onto his lap. She sat carefully, making sure not to lean on his shoulder. He traced the outside of her lips before kissing her, his hands squeezing her waist.

   "I know I'm an asshole," he said with a smirk. "I know you probably deserve better than a man that would accuse you of something he knows that you wouldn't do. And I know I've made mistakes, but don't give up on me. I need you."

   Her skin began to tingle where his warm breath bloomed over it, and she smiled as she brought her hand to his cheek. "Say it then, asshole."

   "I love you, Gina. I do."

   "Then meet me upstairs in fifteen minutes," she said as she stood up, carrying the bags up the steps to the second floor to the master bedroom to get ready.

   His boots clicked against the wood floor as he made his way down the hall, and she sat on the edge of the bed, which was made up with fresh sheets. Gina had opened the balcony door, and the warm summer air swirled around the room, causing her hair to move softly in the breeze. When he walked into the room, she stood up, enjoying the feeling of him looking her up and down.

   She was wearing his favorite, the white silk nightgown that he had always requested when she first became a wife. His steps were swift and self-assured as he reached out to her, pulling her against his chest. Gina gasped as he kissed her neck, the contrast of his rough stubble mixed with his warm tongue making her shiver.

   No matter what happened between them, every time he touched her it lit a fire inside her that was hard to quench. She had a chemical reaction to him that took over her senses, altering her reality. Her hands grasped the back of his head, pulling him up to her lips as she opened her mouth. His tongue probed hers, causing her stomach to clench in anticipation of what was to come.

   As he continued to kiss her, she felt his fingers slip under the silk straps, sliding them down her shoulders and baring her breasts. Her nipples stiffened as his shirt rubbed up against them and she stepped out of the garment when he pushed it past her waist, letting it pool onto the floor.

   Gina grabbed the hem of his shirt, lifting it slowly as she bent down, kissing his abdomen and feeling his muscles tighten beneath her lips. Helping him remove it, she lightly traced the outside of the bandage that circled his shoulder, covering the gunshot. "Are you up for this, old man?" she asked with a grin as he narrowed his eyes at her.

   "You're going to pay for that," he muttered as he pushed her back onto the bed, yanking her down to the edge. His head slipped between her legs as he bit her softly on her thigh, causing her to let out a squeak. He moved his mouth, kissing around the outside until she finally begged him to put her out of her misery. When he finally complied, she buried her fingers in his hair, gripping tightly as he inserted first one, then two fingers inside her. She would get close, and he would ease off until she swore so loudly that he actually reached up, placing a hand over her mouth.

   She felt the release building up in her belly, biting down on his finger as she came, her thighs squeezing his head as she bucked back and forth. It was powerful and long overdue, and he pulled her legs apart, coming up for air as her chest moved rapidly up and down. She caught her breath as he undid his pants, yanking them off while she slid back on the bed.

   His moves were predatory as he crawled onto the bed, hovering over her like a lion stalking a gazelle. Hitching up her right leg, he entered her with a grunt, pushing himself so deep that his hips smacked against her. Back and forth he moved, swiveling his hips as his eyes closed and his head tipped forward.

   Worried that Negan would rip his healing wound, she put her hands on his chest, directing him onto his back. Swinging her leg over his waist, she guided him back in as he fondled her breasts, his thumbs rubbing back and forth. Gina moved in slow circles as she gazed up at the ceiling, not really seeing anything, rather focusing on the feel of him inside her.

   She knew that he was getting close when he started to make the little groans that he always did, and she slowed down, torturing him like he did to her. His face was almost pained before she sped up, letting his hips buck up rapidly, matching her in time until he dug his fingers into her waist, holding her in place as he came, grinding himself against her.

   They were both sweating as she slid off of him, falling onto her back. Her knee was throbbing from kneeling on it, and she lifted her leg to check to make sure it wasn't bleeding through the bandage. Deciding that it was fine, she turned to her side, running her hand along his chest as he wiped his forehead.

   "Two weeks is way too fucking long to go without that," he said with a grin as he looked her up and down.

   "Agreed," she murmured as she leaned over to kiss him, letting Negan pull her onto his chest, which was covered in a fine film of moisture. The sun was setting, illuminating the room in a pale orange when she stood up and walked to the master suite, flipping on the light.

   The bathroom had a large glass shower with one of those rainfall shower heads, and she twisted the knob, watching as the water sputtered out, at first brown like the kitchen sink before finally running clear. Gina wasn't sure if the hot water heater had warmed up the water, but since it was so balmy out, she stepped in after a few minutes, having pulled their toiletries from the smaller duffel bag.

   Her eyes were closed as she heard the door open, and a second later she felt his lips on her neck as he joined her under the water. It was lukewarm, just enough not to shiver, and they cleaned themselves up before walking back into the bedroom. Gina tossed him his pajamas as she slipped one of his shirts over her head. There was a lounge chair in the corner and she pulled the afghan off of the back of it before walking out onto the little balcony which contained two Adirondack chairs and a small glass table.

   Ten minutes later, Negan appeared with fresh glasses of wine in his hand, setting one in front of her as she lifted up her legs to rest them on the ledge. Crickets were chirping in the distance, and the stars were starting to come out, shining through thin streaks of clouds.

   "I would've fucking killed for a house like this before the world went to shit," Negan said as he stretched his legs out, crossing them at the ankles.

   "What kind of place did you live in?" she asked as he watched a bat fly from one of the trees, swooping down low to the ground before disappearing across the large lawn.

   "We just had a little one-floor house," he replied before taking a sip of wine.

   "We?"

   "I was married," he replied, not looking at her. She blinked at him before facing forward again. "She died just after the world fell apart."

   "I'm so sorry," Gina said softly, her heart beating faster as she thought of him and this unnamed woman. She wasn't jealous, but there was a part of her that struggled to see him with anyone else that wasn't purely physically motivated.

   "I was a shitty husband," he muttered as he set down his glass. "Cheated on her, left her alone a lot. I don't know why she even stayed with me."

   His reaction earlier in the day made sense to her now. Negan clearly hadn't made peace with that part of his life. "She must have really loved you," she said softly as he stiffened.

   "Well, I sure as fuck didn't deserve it."

   In an instant, his face cleared and she knew that sharing time was over. "I'm going to hit the sack. You've worn me completely out," he said, wiggling his eyebrows as she smiled. "Are you coming?"

   "I'll be there in a minute," she said as he bent down to kiss her.

   Gina ended up staying out there for a few hours, in no rush to face the next day. They would go back to the Sanctuary, and this little bubble of peace and normalcy would be over. The moon was high in the sky when she finally laid next to him, wrapping her arms around his waist as she kissed his neck.

 

   She ended up letting Negan drive back, directing him until he knew where he was. He held her hand until they approached the Sanctuary, and when he dropped it, she knew they were back to reality. He put his leader face on as the gates opened up, and they pulled off to the side.

   They had stopped at the WalMart that was raided a few weeks ago, bringing back the remaining medical supplies. Gina had brought some guns with them, and Negan took great joy in firing at the walkers that had clustered around. He was still unable to swing his bat without pain, but this was a good way for him to get out some of that male frustration.

   Simon came out of the Sanctuary to help as they unloaded the bed, and after speaking with him for a few minutes, Negan followed her into the cafeteria.

   Gina immediately zeroed in on Candy, who was sitting with Daniel and a few other girls. Glancing back at Negan, she smiled sweetly. "May I?" she asked as his eyebrows rose.

   Everyone in the cafeteria bowed down as he followed her between the tables. After Daniel and the girls stood up, Gina motioned for them to sit while Negan stood behind her.

   Taking the empty chair next to Candy, she looked at her pleasantly before leaning in to speak.

   "I appreciate you giving it the old college try, but if you ever fuck with my relationship again, I'll fucking kill you."

   Candy's eyes flew open wide as Gina stood up, aware that everyone at the table had heard. She turned and followed Negan back through the crowd to the steps. He opened the door for her with a chuckle and they started the long climb back to their floor.

   "And people think I'm fucking brutal," he said as he smacked her on the ass.

   Gina huffed as they reached the top floor, flinging the bags on the bed as they finally reached their room. She had just unzipped the first bag to unpack it when an alarm blared out, nearly shaking the walls.

   Rushing to the window that looked out over the front of the Sanctuary, she watched in horror as a large truck filled with walkers came barrelling through the gates.


	28. Chapter 28

 

   Negan's hands were plastered against the window as the truck hit both the gate and the fence which only slowed it down slightly before it slammed into the factory, shaking the walls. As soon as it came to a stop there were two more small explosions, and the gate on the back of the truck folded down, smacking onto the asphalt. Seconds later, walkers came stumbling out while Gina lunged for the black bag that held gun and bullets.

   She pulled them out with shaking hands as Negan roughly grabbed them, running for the door with Lucille as well. Following behind him, she sped towards the steps, her sore knee forgotten as she flew down the steps two at a time. Screams and cries echoed in the stairwell as she hit the bottom floor. There had been dozens of people outside since it was in between shifts, and she pushed against the swarm of people who were trying to flee to the upper floors.

   Searching the crowd for Negan, she saw the top of his head as he slipped out the main doors. The sounds of gunfire mixed in with the panic as Gina tried desperately to keep up with him. She was terrified that he would injure himself further, adrenaline coursing through everyone.

   As soon as she hit the door, she was knocked backward by a large man who was trying to run in to the factory, his arm ripped from shoulder to knee. The gun flew from her hand as she hit the corner of the door, skittering along the wall. Shaking the cobwebs from her mind, she dropped to her knees, crawling towards the gun.

   Her hand was slick with sweat as she grabbed it, and stood up, pointing it towards the fence. Walkers were everywhere, and she took aim firing as quickly as the gun would let her. Once one dropped she swung her arm, shooting again. It took her a moment to register the click of the weapon, signaling that she was out of bullets.

   Gina reached behind her back for her knife, her only protection as she made her way towards the weapons bay, where Ethan was rapidly doling out guns. There were several walkers feasting on dead bodies, and she stabbed any that she came upon, slipping once in the rapidly expanding pools of blood.

  Squeezing in between two Saviors, she ripped two guns out of Ethan's hand before pushing them aside, looking for Negan. He was just inside the fence, swinging Lucille down onto the head of a walker that used to be one of his men. He was her only goal as she ran forwards, firing through the fence as more walkers streamed in. Someone had brought another truck to the Sanctuary, placing it about a thousand feet away from the entrance to allow the second wave of destruction.

   Coming up just behind him, she aimed for the outside walkers while he continued to demolish the ones nearby, his bat coming so close to her head that it yanked a small chunk of hair out by the roots. Her hands were aching as she continued to fire over and over into the thick horde until she felt someone grab her arm, pulling her backward.

   With a screech, she aimed turned her gun, nearly shooting Dwight in the face as he stabbed a walker that had appeared at her side without her even noticing. Panting, she turned back around, taking out three more before dropping the now empty gun. She had one left and she walked forward steadily, not hearing Negan yelling at her. She had one singular focus, and that was the remaining horde that was mere feet from the ruined gates.

   Everything went silent in her mind, and they seemed to be moving in slow motion as she fired, watching them drop one by one. She was vaguely aware of others joining her, and they formed a line, shooting over and over as the pile of bodies grew. When the last one dropped, the sounds came rushing back and Gina felt two hands digging into her arms, spinning her around.

   It was Negan, and she could see his mouth moving as he yelled at her, but she couldn't hear the words, couldn't understand them as she stood there stupidly. After a moment, he finally gave up, letting her go and starting towards the truck that had run into the wall. It was still running, the tires spinning in blood. She watched him blankly as he tried to open the door, yanking at it before swinging Lucille at the window, causing it to shatter.

   Stepping up onto the running board, he reached in and unlocked it. Gina stumbled forward as he turned off the ignition and she could see that the wheel had been tied to hold it straight and that someone had wedged a pipe on the gas pedal to keep it going. The engine was smoking, and she watched Negan jump down, muttering to himself.

   She couldn't look at him anymore, but she didn't want to look at the people that they had lost. The fight with Alexandria was real to her now. It had always been just an abstract thing to her, something that happened outside the walls, somewhere where she never had to see it. But it didn't involve just the Saviors anymore. It carried over to the residents of the Sanctuary, people who were here to be protected because they couldn't survive on their own.

   Planning and thought had gone into this attack, and her sister was a part of it. She had to be. Still clutching her knife, she walked slowly towards the doors. Gina moved stiffly, robotically as she sidestepped bodies of walkers and the soon to be walkers. People were milling around, some as dazed as she was, and she passed them like they weren't there, walking into the cafeteria towards the kitchen.

   Several of the workers had barricaded the door, and she knocked steadily as she heard the sounds of shuffling and dragging of large objects. When the head cook finally stuck her head out, Gina pushed her way in, walking towards the storage room. She bent down, pulling a box of garbage bags out and taking one from the roll before leaving the rest laying on the ground.  
  
   Outside, she waded through the dead bodies, stopping here and there to put pieces of clothing into the bag. A hat from one, a shoe from the other, they all went in as she moved from person to person. Her last stop was the weapons area as she waited for Ethan to turn his back. When he was otherwise occupied, she nicked one of the revolvers, stuffing into her waistband and covering it up with her shirt.

   The bag dragged along the ground as she approached the little pickup truck, standing alongside it, waiting for her chance. Lifting the door handle, she opened it slowly as she looked around warily. The key was still in the ignition and before anyone could stop her, she tossed the bag on the seat and slammed the door. Her hands were unusually steady as she started the truck, putting it quickly into drive as she gunned the engine.

   Running over the bodies of the walkers, she nearly hit the ceiling as the truck bounced up and down, and for a moment she thought that she would get stuck, but the vehicle jerked forward as she sped away. Gina focused only on the road. Not the people behind her, not the destination she was heading towards. Only the road. The road wasn't lying dead on the ground. It wasn't reaching out to tear the flesh from her bones. It was just there. It was steady.

   She drove only from recollection of the single trip she took there. Sweat was rolling down her face before she finally unrolled the window and tucked the limp wet strands of her hair behind her ears. Her hands, spotted with red and black blood held the wheel as she made the long drive. Turning on the last road, she pulled to a stop several yards from their gates.

   Leaving the keys in the truck, she pulled the bag out with her, walking slowly towards the entrance, her hands away from her sides as a man watched her approach from the top of the metal walls. She saw him gesture behind him and she stood patiently in front of the gate, waiting for someone to open it. She wasn't sure how much time had passed before it rolled open.

   Standing behind it was her sister, Daryl, Rick, a woman with dreadlocks and a petite woman with long dark hair and a hat. Talia rushed towards her, her arms open until Gina held up her hand.

   "Don't fucking touch me," she swore in a raspy voice, dry from exhaustion and pain. Talia came to a sudden stop as she stared at her in shock. Turning her eyes towards Rick, she addressed him.

   "I came to congratulate you on your brilliant tactical strike," she said in a wooden voice as he shifted onto one leg, his hand poised over his gun. "It was very creative."

   "Gina," Talia began as she shut her eyes.

   "Don't speak," she said as she gripped the bag tighter. When she opened them again, she struggled to focus as she looked back at Rick, who was watching her carefully.

   "I just thought you'd want to know that you managed to take out about two Saviors."

   "Good," the dark haired woman said, glaring at her as she took one step forward.

   "Good," Gina repeated as her grip on the bag slackened. "Yeah, good." Opening up the bag, she stuck her hand down into it, rummaging around and pulling out a bloodstained baseball cap. Rick held up his hand in warning to the group as she tossed it at his feet.

   "That was Josiah. He was sixteen. Never held a gun in his life as far as I know."

   Next was a watch. "That was Stanley. He used a walker to get around. Very dangerous guy that deserved to get taken out if you didn't want that walker to roll over your feet."

    The gold ring she threw at Talia. "His wife Beatrice. They were married for fifty years."

   "Kelly. She was sixteen, too. About the age of your son, if I recall. Survived alone for six months." The flowered tennis shoe bounced on the ground, hitting Rick in the leg.

   Her chin quivered as she pulled the final item from the bag, a pink bandana that she held up. "Gretchen. Took care of the gardens, and never so much as swatted a fly. She had her throat ripped to the bone and choked on her own blood." The bandana was the only thing that she didn't toss down, clutching it to her chest.

   "Gina, we didn't-" Daryl said as she turned towards him.

   "You didn't what?" she replied, her voice rising. "Didn't know that there were innocent people there, or you didn't care?"

   "He killed our people," the dark haired woman hissed, stepping forward as Rick stuck his arm out, stopping her. "We aren't going to let that go."

   "You're no better. You're no different," Gina said as she backed away. "You may not have bashed anyone's head in with a bat, but you murdered people. This is only a few of the people that you murdered in cold blood. Don't ever for a minute think that you're not killers, that you don't take innocent lives. You no longer hold any superiority over Negan."

   She continued walking backward as Talia followed her. "Gigi, please, wait a minute. Let me talk to you."

   Gina shook her head as she looked at her sister coldly. "You made your choice, Talia, and I've made mine. I'll never raise my hand to you, but I don't want anything to do with you ever again."

   "You're choosing him over me?"

   The words cut into her heart as she swallowed hard. "You forced it. I would have done anything to stop all of this. But you killed something in me today. I don't think you even thought about me at all when you made this decision. When you became a cowardly murderer."

   Turning around, she walked away from her sister, the last link to her family. Gina let go of the bag as she reached the truck, letting it drift into the grass. Talia was still standing outside the gates as she turned the vehicle around, driving away towards the sunset. The others were in the same spot inside their walls as she looked back.

   Halfway between Alexandria and the Sanctuary, she pulled off to the side of the road, her hands shaking too hard to drive. The reality of what she just went through, both at home and Alexandria came rushing up, and she stumbled out of the car to vomit. She was on her knees in the overgrown grass, retching and heaving so hard that her eyes began to water. When she thought she was finally done, she wiped her eyes and mouth on her arm. Gina was climbing slowly to her feet when she heard a snarl behind her.

   With a deep breath, she pulled out the gun she took, aiming it at the walker that had come out of the woods, its arms reaching out to her. She shot once, and the ghoul dropped into the grass. She could only see the top of its exploded head, and she backed up to the truck, keeping her eyes on it as she shut the door.

   Gretchen's bandana was sitting on the seat next to her. It was covered in dried blood, but Gina didn't care. She rolled it up, tying it around her neck before veering back towards home. It was hers now. Her reminder of the brutality that people were capable of. All people, not just Negan.

   The sun was nearly down as she approached what was left of the fence. Negan was still out directing several crews of men who were disposing of the bodies. When the headlights hit the side of his face, he looked over, both fury and relief evident. He moved lightning fast to the truck, whipping it open and yanking her out.

   His hands were pressing into her arms as he shook her slightly. "Have you lost your fucking mind?" he yelled so loud that people that were around them took a step back. Gina didn't speak, instead staring blankly at his neck, watching his Adam's apple bob up and down.

   "Everyone back the fuck off," he snarled as anyone in earshot retreated several feet away. "Gina, what did you do?" he asked, shaking her again.

   Her eyes closed as she began to mumble. "I had to show them what they did. I had to. I had to show them. I had to show them who they killed. They had to know." Tears began to drip from her eyelashes as she continued on, unable to stop the words from coming. "That had to know what they did. They had to. They killed. They killed them and they had to know."

   His arms wrapped around her tightly as he pulled her against his chest, his hand securing her head as he rocked her back and forth.

   "Shh, darlin'," he murmured as she continued to lose her mind.

   "She made her choice, and I made mine. She chose them over me, and I chose you over her. It's over. It's all over."

   Negan kept his arms around her as he led her towards the factory, trying to prevent her from seeing the remaining dead bodies that they hadn't disposed of yet. Keeping her moving, he steered her towards the steps, leading up to their floor where he set her on the bed. She was still mumbling so he laid her back and climbed on the bed to face her, pulling her into his arms as she buried her head in his chest.

    The tears started, and she shook with sadness and pain while Negan gently rubbed her back and kissed her forehead. She would remember this day as long as she lived. She couldn't forget even if she tried.

   "It's okay, Gina. Everything is going to be okay," he murmured softly in between kisses. She cried herself to sleep, clutching his shirt as he continued to hold her throughout the night, his duties outside forgotten.


	29. Chapter 29

**Talia**

 

   Talia bent over and picked up the tennis shoe that was spattered in blood as Daryl did the same with the baseball cap. The ring that Gina threw at her was clutched in her hand as Rick held the watch, it's face cracked and broken, also ringed with blood. No one spoke as the gate closed with a clank, and Talia walked towards the cemetery in the back of the community. 

   She felt Daryl's presence behind her as her neck prickled and her stomach churned. Gina's face was haunting her thoughts along with the imagined faces of those who died.

   Too stunned to cry, she grabbed a shovel that was lying against the metal wall, carrying over to a patch of grass just under a nearby tree. Setting the shoe and the ring down, she began to dig as Daryl attempted to take the shovel. 

   "No," she said as she pulled it back. "No."

   The hole was small, but she knelt down, setting the hat and shoe alongside each other before placing the ring between the two. She felt someone bend down next to her, and she watched as Rick placed the watch in the pile.

   "What have we done?" she asked in a shaking voice as she began to smooth the dirt over the articles with her hand. Rick began to help, his face pale as she looked up at him. "What have we done?"

   "I don't know," he muttered as he patted the loose soil down. "Dwight didn't tell us that there were going to be civilians out there. He said that yard was strictly for the Saviors. Maybe he didn't realize that they'd be outside."

   "Does it even matter?" she said dully. "We wanted to take out Saviors, the actual people that terrorized us, not children and elderly people that had nothing to do with any of this."

   "We're monsters," Talia stated in a low voice. "This is not what I wanted at all."

   "None of us wanted to kill innocents," Rosita snapped as she stood over the three.

   "Well, you don't seem too fucking broken up about it," Talia challenged her as she got to her feet. Rosita shrugged her shoulders in disinterest and Talia lunged for her before Rick and Daryl pulled her back.

   "You are a real fucking piece of work to just fluff this off," she spat at her as Rick and Daryl kept dragging Talia away. 

   "This is about killing Negan, you bitch," Rosita swore as Michonne approached, stepping in between them. 

   "But we didn't _kill_ Negan, you dumb twat! We killed people that he was taking care of. This was a really fucking brilliant plan, Rick."

   "I didn't know!" he exploded at her, his face enraged as Michonne put her hand on his arm. He shook it off as he stalked away towards his house. Seconds later they heard the door slam, and Michonne followed without a word. 

   Talia and Rosita continued to stare each other down until Rosita finally muttered something in Spanish, throwing up her hands and taking off in the opposite direction.   
Dropping back down next to the hole, Talia put her head in her hands. Everything had gone to shit in the span of twenty minutes. The promise of ending this conflict was now null and void. Aside from their poorly thought out decision, she knew that Negan would come at them with everything he had. And he had outposts full of people at his disposal. 

   She felt Daryl's hand on her back, and she looked up at him dully. "Can I get some time to myself?" she asked as he stood back up. 

   "I'll be at the house," he told her before leaving her alone. 

   Wrapping her hands around her chest, she crossed her legs as she stared at the tiny grave. Gina had every right to hate her. All she wanted was to break her away from Negan, and she just drove her further into his arms. She couldn't even blame her. Negan had killed their people, but other than Olivia, he only went after fighters, people who had stood against him. She in no way excused any of his actions, but this attack may have just given him license to rip their town apart if they didn't already just do it to themselves. 

   The sun started to set before Talia finally climbed to her feet, laying the shovel back against the wall. A few feet away was a white hydrangea bush, and she pulled off a few stems, placing them on the dirt. As she started for her house, the same thought rotated through her brain. _We're killers. We killed innocent people_.

   The living room was empty when she arrived, and she climbed up the steps with a heavy heart. The shower was running as she sat down on the bed, kicking off her shoes and curling up on her side to stare at the wall.

   When the bathroom door opened, Daryl walked out with a towel around his waist, steam from the shower blooming out behind him. After he put on a shirt and pants, he sat down, resting his hand on her knees.

   "What to we do now?" Talia wondered aloud as he rubbed her leg, still staring at the wall.

   "I think we learn from this," he mused as he ran his hands through his hair. "This is not who we wanna be, for sure. And we need to clear the air with everyone else tomorrow."

   She switched her gaze to him as he looked back at her. "Did you know there were regular people there?" she whispered, afraid of his answer.

   "I never left my cell," he replied. She could tell by the steady cadence of his voice that he was telling the truth. 

   Daryl tried to get her to go downstairs to eat, but she declined. When he left the room, she went into the bathroom to shower, before climbing back into the bed and shutting her eyes. She was out cold when he returned and she woke with a start, blinking into the darkness. 

   Glancing at the clock, Talia saw that it was after midnight. Lifting his arm gently, she wiggled out of the bed, feeling around for his jeans and pulling his cigarettes out.

   Tiptoeing down the steps, she opened the front door quietly before sitting on the porch. She hadn't smoked in years and had always chastised Gina for doing so. But now, she pulled one out, lighting in and taking a deep drag, feeling the smoke filling her lungs with a tingle. 

   The street was dark and quiet as she looked up at the moon, wondering what Gina was doing. Was she asleep? Helping to plan the next move on Alexandria? Or mourning? 

   "Hey."

   Her breath came out in a rush, as Rick appeared in front of her, his hair sticking up all over and his shirt wrinkled.

   Talia scooted over on the steps towards the railing as he sat down next to her, rubbing his face. "I didn't know you smoked," he said quietly as she flicked an ash into the grass.

   "I don't," she replied. "But I figured today was as good as any to start."

   "I used to sneak one or two a year. Usually while out on a fishing trip with my friend Shane," he said as he held out his hand. She set the pack and the lighter in his palm as he continued. "My wife, Lori, she could always tell. It didn't matter if it was two or three days before I saw her and the smell was long gone. She just knew."

   "Did she give you grief?"

   "Nah," he said as he put one between his lips. The lighter sparked up, illuminating the two of them. Rick took a drag before blowing out a cloud of smoke. "She would just give me this look like she was disappointed in me. I can't really explain it."

   "But it didn't stop you from doing it," Talia guessed as a sad smile played on his lips. 

   "No, it didn't."

   They sat in silence for a while until he finally cleared his throat. "I'm sorry, I truly am."

   "I'm sorry, too," she murmured. "We all fucked up with this one." She twisted herself slightly to face him. "You're our leader, Rick," she said as his shoulders hunched over slightly. "You're the one that makes the calls, and you're the one that also takes things the hardest when they don't go well. I know that."

   His voice was rough when he spoke. "I've done things in this world that I'm not proud of, believe me. Things that have kept me up at night. But they were always done in reaction to something, or someone. I've never gone out of my way to hurt anyone. I've only wanted to protect my family. I thought that this was the right call, and it wasn't. I've never killed anyone that wasn't causing a direct threat, or could be."

   "So what do we learn from this? Where do we go from here?" she asked as she ground out her cigarette. 

   "I don't know," he admitted. "We're going to have to figure out a way to defeat the Saviors without taking out the Sanctuary. Dwight can maybe point us in the direction of the outposts for one. And if he gives us a heads up when Negan plans to attack, and he will, we'll have to send our non-fighters away. And be prepared."

   He stood up after handing her back Daryl's pack of cigarettes, walking back towards the street before returning. "I'm sorry about your sister."

   "So am I," she said with a bittersweet smile.

   "When this is all over, you can repair the damage we've done," he said with a confidence that she didn't share. She nodded to him as he disappeared into the dark.

   Crawling back into bed, Talia draped her hand across Daryl's chest and let the steady sound of his breathing lull her into a fitful sleep. 

   The next morning, she was up before him, and she went downstairs to fix them some coffee. As the water started to boil, she heard a knock at the door. When she went to the front porch, she could see Rosita standing on the porch. Turning the knob, she stepped back, letting her walk in and waving her to the kitchen.

   Talia went to the counter and poured a two cups before setting out sugar and creamer. Sitting down, she watched as Rosita gripped the cup in both hands, glaring at the liquid.

   "I can't stop being angry," she said as Talia sat back to listen. "I wasn't angry that Abraham left me. I was hurt, but not angry." Her fingernails tapped on the cup in rapid succession as she continued. "I'm happy he was happy, you know? Even if it wasn't with me, I was happy for him."

   Talia nodded her head, even though Rosita wasn't looking at her. 

   "And I never got to tell him. We never got the chance to square away our past. Because of him, because of Negan."

   "He took a lot away from everyone," Talia said as Rosita looked up finally. "Maggie lost her husband, and we've all lost great friends." Leaning forward, she placed her hand on Rosita's wrist. "When we end this, though, what's going to replace that for you?"

   Rosita narrowed her eyes, glaring at her. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

   "I mean, this is going to end. It will, but we have to keep living while we're fighting. There has to be a balance, and you can't only focus on this revenge because when it's gone, it's going to leave you empty."

   "I don't have anyone else," she snapped, pulling her arm away. 

   "You have me, you have Daryl, and you have Rick. Michonne. Carl. Aaron. Maggie. Sasha. Gabriel. Tara."

   Talia leaned forward, willing her to listen. "You have to let them in. You have to grieve, and you have to heal."

   The kitchen was quiet as the two women stared at each other. "I don't know how," Rosita whispered as Talia stood up, pulling Rosita to her feet and into a hug. 

   "Cry. Yell. Rage. But let it out."

   Talia felt Rosita's shoulders shake as something finally broke in her, and she held her as she cried. It didn't last long, but it was a start, and when they pulled apart, Rosita let out a shuddering breath. 

   They could hear Daryl coming down the steps, and Rosita wiped her eyes before walking quickly for the door. She could hear it close as he entered the kitchen, looking curiously at the coffee on the table. 

   "Was someone here?" he asked as Talia carried the cup to the sink, pulling out a fresh one for him. 

   "Rosita."

   Pouring some for him, she handed over as he sat down. 

   "Did you two make up?" His voice was scratchy as she perched next to him, taking a sip.

   "Kind of," she replied as she leaned her head on his shoulder.   


   An hour later, they were dressed and heading for Rick's house when he came out with Michonne and a set of keys in his hand. Meeting in the street, he took Daryl by the arm.

   "I want to head to the Kingdom to update him on what happened."

   "What time are we going?" Daryl asked as Michonne shook her head. 

   "Can you guys check in on the Hilltop?" she requested as Talia cocked her head.

   "Because Dwight was here this morning, and Gregory is the one that's selling us out. I don't know when Negan is going to visit them next, but it would be in our best interests to make sure the people at the Hilltop that want to fight are ready to do so. We're going to have to get Gregory out of his self-appointed leader mindset and let Maggie do what's she's been doing." Michonne crossed her arms, clearly having no love for Gregory. 

   "Well, does Dwight have any excuse for what went on at the Sanctuary yesterday?" Talia asked bitterly. 

   "He swears that the regular people were not to be in the front of the factory."

   "Well, his swears cost several people their lives. We have to be more careful from now on," Talia said. 

   "I agree," Rick chimed in. "So let's get out of here as quickly as we can and do the best that we can to get them ready."

   Talia and Daryl took one of the trucks and pulled out, heading straight for the Hilltop while Rick and Michonne were updating the Kingdom. Hopefully, each was successful in continuing to build up their allies for a fight.


	30. Chapter 30

**Gina**

 

   Pulling a purple plum out of the basket, Gina rubbed it on her shirt before taking a bite, the juice dribbling down her chin. It was still warm from the summer sun, and she plucked another one, tossing it to Angela who caught it deftly.

   They had two trucks filled with peaches and plums, all picked from the old fruit farm that they found. Gina had remembered it her first night alone as she was craving something sweet. Their housekeeper who took care of them growing up used to take her and Talia there, and she recalled being allowed to pick their own fruits.

   The four had spent the last two days clearing walkers and exploring the grounds, which had hundreds of fruit trees on the property. They were overgrown but were still producing fruit. While they were there, Gina had made a mental note to check the Sanctuary library for books on pruning, hoping to convince Negan to make this a little outpost that they could continue to farm their own food.

   Seth and Daniel were sitting under one of the trees drinking water, exhausted from working hard the last few days. They were covered in bug bites and scratches, but it was a job well done. When they got back home the four planned on returning again, but Gina was anxious to spend some time with Negan first.

   The first day after the attack at the Sanctuary was difficult for her. She knew that Negan was torn between wanting to support her and shoring up the outposts along with the Kingdom and the Hilltop. With Alexandria on full attack, it was more important than ever for him to make sure there weren't similar uprisings in either community. Perhaps that's why she felt such a strong need to contribute, to take some of the pressure off of him.

   Gina had woken up in his arms the morning after still covered in blood. Negan was watching her as she opened her eyes, and she had begun to cry again, much to her dismay. She was still wearing Gretchen's bandana around her neck, and he had untied it carefully before helping her out of the bed and leading her into the bathroom to get cleaned up.

   "I'm sorry," she sniffled, wiping at her eyes as he started the water.

   "What are you apologizing for?" he asked as he pulled her shirt over her head.

   "I don't know," Gina admitted as she unbuttoned her jeans, letting them slide down her legs. "People are going to die, I get it. But the way they went," she said, shuddering as she ran her hand through her hair. "No one should suffer like that. They were kids and older people. they never had a chance."

   "But why did you go to Alexandria?" he questioned as she stepped into the shower. "I almost went after you."

   "Because they needed to know," she said, repeating her rambling from the previous night. "My sister need to be aware of the consequences of her choices. I know you're not a saint, Negan, but would you have done something like that? Would you have killed defenseless people?"

   It was quiet for a brief moment as she tilted her head under the water. When he still hadn't spoken, she peeked her head out of the shower curtain, finding him sitting on the counter with hunched over.

   "I've done things I never thought I'd do. I've executed people, Gina. I've run this place with strict and severe rules, all designed to keep people in line. To keep them from getting ideas." He looked at her as she wiped the water from her face. "If just one person decides that they want to take over, what's to stop them from slitting my throat in my sleep?"

   "But is that the life you want? To live in such uncertainty?"

   "Of course not. But that's what this life is. That's how we stay on top, and how we keep this place fed."

   "I know," she sighed, letting the curtain close. "I just worry about you. I worry for you."

   When she was dressed and settled on the bed, he came to sit next to her, taking her hand in his. She knew what he was going to say before he even spoke.

   "I'll be gone for a few days," he began as she leaned forward to kiss him.

   "You don't need to say it," she replied as she pulled him towards her, pressing her forehead against his. "I understand."

   His breathing was steady as they sat together for a few moments until a knock at the door broke through the serenity. He stood up and went over to the desk, picking up Lucille and his leather jacket before walking out.

   Gina had gone down to the gardens to check to see if there was any damage from the previous day, but no walkers had made it far enough to get through the fence surrounding it. She helped to weed and pick vegetables before returning to their room alone. Hugging his pillow to her chest, she spent most of the night tossing and turning, wondering where he was and what he was doing.

   The next morning, she woke up determined to get herself back on track. She found Daniel in the cafeteria and he had readily agreed to out with her to explore the old farm, rounding up Seth and Angela to join them. Dwight and Simon had gone with Negan, so there was really no one to check in with before they left. Instead, they rounded up some containers in case there was fruit to be had and a few weapons for protection.

   It had taken several hours to get there, so they had decided to make it an extended trip beforehand, packing extra food and sleeping bags. The old farm store was cleared out, but it was in relatively good condition and secure, so they hunkered down that night as they took turns keeping watch. Gina's thoughts would ping pong between Negan and Talia.

   She wished no ill will towards her sister, but she doubted she could ever have a relationship with her again and it tore her up. They had shared a womb, a room, and a bond that she didn't ever think could have been broken. But their lives had taken such different turns since they got separated that she didn't think they could ever see eye to eye again.

   In the darkest recesses of her mind, she wondered what would have happened if the situation had been reversed. Would Talia have fallen for Negan like she did, or would she have only seen who he was on the surface? Could she have shared him at first? Gina already knew the answer to that. Talia was way too puritanical for such an arrangement. She would have never agreed to it, even if it meant safety.

   Could she have fallen for Daryl like Talia did? Gina thought not. Daryl seemed to be a nice enough guy, but he didn't have that spark that Negan did. That larger than life confidence and engaging personality that drew her to him. Maybe this was how it was always meant to be, she mused until the thought occurred to her that one of them was probably destined for heartbreak. Shaken, she tried to push the thoughts out of her mind as the sun began to rise on the second day.

   Now they were loaded down with fresh food, and ready to return to the Sanctuary. Gina wasn't sure if Negan was back, but she was ready to see him, to make sure he was safe.

   Daniel and Seth climbed slowly to their feet, laughing as they approached the truck.

   "What's so funny?" Angela asked as she tossed Seth the keys to one of the trucks.

   "We were just thinking that with all this fruit, someone better makes sure the toilets are in pristine condition," Daniel replied as Gina rolled her eyes.

   "You're an idiot," she muttered as she went around to the passenger's side. He chuckled as he started the engine.

   "Come on, that was funny," he said as she looked at him with one eyebrow raised. "The boss doesn't make jokes like that?"

   "No, he doesn't," she said with a sly smile. "That's why he's the boss."

   "Can't be much fun, then," Daniel muttered as she started to laugh.

   "You have no idea how much fun he is," she said as his face started to turn red.

   "Please," he said with a grimace. "I don't want to think about you and him like that. You're like a little sister or something."

   The smile fell from her face as he glanced over. "What did I say?" he wondered as she tried to compose herself.

   "Nothing. You didn't say anything wrong," she assured him as she tried not to think about Talia. "I'm just ready to get home. Sleeping on the floor is starting to get old."

   The rest of the ride was quiet as Gina became lost in her thoughts. Her fingers ran back and forth over the pink bandana as she stared out the window, watching the trees fly by in a green blur. Life and death. Death and life. You couldn't have one without the other. They were tied together now more than ever.

   The sky was a deep purple by the time they pulled up to the Sanctuary, and Gina looked hopefully for Negan before realizing that they still weren't back. The gate had been repaired and the gates had been fortified with metal panels as guards patrolled overhead, and it was starting to look like nothing had ever happened there.

   Several people came out to help them unload, and there were many smiles as people took in the large volume of edibles. Even though there was a points system, she handed every resident two pieces of fruit. Considering the week they had just gone through, she assumed everyone had earned a little treat. Negan could just bill her, she figured.

   With a wave to Seth, Angela, and Daniel, Gina carried a small basket of peaches and plums with her to the top floor. Knocking on Lexie and Leticia's doors, she gave them a few before retreating to her room. They were cordial but not overly friendly, thanking her before closing their doors. But they were quickly forgotten as she settled in bed after taking a long shower.

   She was awakened from her sleep by the sound of the door opening. Reaching over, she flipped on the lamp to find Negan setting the bat on the desk. Her heart lurched as she saw that he was covered in blood. Whipping the covers off, she flew towards him, running into him so hard that he actually grunted.

   "Is any of it yours?" she asked as she gripped him tightly.

   "No," he said as he held her.  
  
   "Oh, God," she whispered as he pulled her back gently. "What happened?"

   Gina couldn't tell if he was stunned or furious when he spoke.

   "The Kingdom and the Hilltop turned. We're going to war."


	31. Chapter 31

   The shower was still running as Gina sat in the middle of the bed with her legs resting against her chest. One of them always seemed to be showering off someone else's blood anymore, but it was the conversation with Negan that was upsetting her more at the moment.

   Simon had gone to the Hilltop only to be denied access by the residents. Gregory was nowhere to be seen, and two women and a man stood on the fence, armed to the teeth with other people, informing him that the Saviors were no longer welcome.

   The de facto leaders were friends of Rick's and had taken over at the Hilltop with the blessing of the Hiltoppers. A small skirmish had taken place, though no lives were lost, and Simon and the rest of the Saviors retreated, meeting up with Negan and Dwight at one of the outposts. They had gone as one large group to the Kingdom only to be met with the same fate, but it was Rick who was standing with King Ezekiel behind the entrance.

   Negan had told her that this King had a large army, and they were also fully prepared to fight. His temper had gone off the rails, and the Saviors had fired on the Kingdom without even uttering one word, his rage at seeing Rick pushing him into conflict without any strategic planning. And since the other side had been way more ready, it was the Saviors who suffered the heaviest losses.

   Surprisingly, what had done some of the damage was a tiger. Gina had actually shaken her head in disbelief when he told her that, trying to picture it in her mind. It had leapt out of nowhere, taking down one of the men that was standing just a few feet away from Negan, sending people scattering. Over fifteen men had died and coupled with the losses from the Alexandria fight, they were down a healthy amount of fighters, forcing him to pull almost everyone from the outposts.

   The entire time he had relayed this story to her, his voice had been detached, almost clinical, in a way she had never heard it before. Negan was a man of big emotions, all flash, and this was an entirely different side of him. It had thrown her, quite frankly, because Gina had never dealt with it before. She had no frame of reference for it.

   The shower turned off, and she sat expectantly in the bedroom waiting for him. It was late, after three in the morning, and she was both tired and vibrating with tension.

   When he emerged, he was nude, still dripping with water, and he strode towards the bed with purpose, pinning her on her back as he kissed her.

   Gliding his hands down her body, he pulled her shirt off quickly before attaching himself to her breasts, licking and kneading them as she struggled to catch her breath. This wasn't just lustful, though she knew he wanted her, it was him reclaiming control of something, anything in his life.

   "Negan," she breathed as his thumbs hooked themselves inside her shorts, tugging them down as his tongue dragged across her stomach, causing her muscles to twitch. He continued further down, swinging her leg over his shoulder as he buried his head between her legs. Her hands dug into the bedspread as he moved quickly, determined to get her there as fast as possible. But it wasn't her that needed the release.

   Trying to fight the pleasurable sensations, reached out blindly for him as he lifted his head. "Let me do this, Gina," he said in a rough voice. "I need this."

   She dropped her hands briefly before covering her face as he resumed with a fervor that she could barely keep up with. Her back arched as she climaxed, groaning and panting as he stood up. Her eyes were still closed as she felt him climb on top of her, spreading her legs as she dug her nails into his back. Entering her with a groan, Negan placed his hands on the sides of her face, causing her to open her eyes.

   He locked eyes with her as he moved in and out, letting his fingers tangle into her hair. Gina moved her hands lower onto his hips as he plunged himself deeper and deeper inside her bending down to nip at her lips until she began to kiss his neck, causing him to shudder as he sped up, his strokes becoming erratic as he finally crested, filling her with warmth.

   Still inside her, Negan kissed her over and over before letting his full weight fall onto her body, seemingly sapped of energy. She didn't mind, enjoying the feel of his skin on hers, and hoping that he had peace of mind. No matter what was happening outside this room, she was his and he was hers.

   Lifting himself off with a groan, she turned to her side to shut off the light and then rolled to rest her head on his chest. The lights from outside gave the room a gray hue, leaching the color from their skin as she pulled the sheet up around them. Tomorrow promised to be difficult, but tonight, tonight it was serene in their room if not in their brains.

   A few hours later as the sun rose, she woke to an empty bed again. Turning to her side, she replayed Negan's words in her head. Something about the conversation was gnawing at her brain and she couldn't put her finger on it at first. But when the realization hit her, she sat up straight in bed.

   "Fucking Talia," she swore as she jumped off of the mattress and fled into the bathroom. Sibling rivalry reared it's ugly head in her mind.  _How the hell did she figure it out before me?_

   She hastily opened the armoire, pulling on one of Negan's shirts and her own pants before getting her boots on and grabbing her jacket off the chair roughly. Slamming the door behind her, she practically jogged for the steps as Lexie's door opened.

   "Hey, Gina-"

   "Not right now," she called over her shoulder as she turned the knob, rushing downstairs, plowing into Simon as she entered the hallway.

   "Where's Negan?" she demanded as he bounced off of the wall, his arms smacking out wide.

   "Outside with Ethan."

   Gina took off through the cafeteria before he had even stopped talking, ordering people to get out of the way as she moved and not giving a shit if they were offended.

   Once she got outside, she spotted him by the weapons bay and marched over. He noticed her when she was halfway there, and she motioned for him to follow her to the fence.

   "Baby, I don't have time right now-"

   "Just shut up a second Negan," she said as his face hardened. "You said the Hilltop and the Kingdom were armed to the teeth, right?"

   "Yes."

   With a grim smile, she crossed her arms over her chest. "I know where they're getting the weapons."

   "What? How?" he demanded, focusing on her with a laserlike gaze.

   "I guarantee my sister took them to one of the military bases," she told him as his eyes narrowed. "We grew up on them, and we know them well."

   "Motherfucker."

   "I need a map so we can get our own guns," she said as he shook his head.

   "You're not going," he replied as she glared at him. "You show me on the map and I'll send some men out."

   "No fucking way," she snapped as he got angrier. "I figured it out, I know those bases, and I'm going."

   "I said no."

   "You know goddamned well you can't stop me," she replied as he took her by the arm.

   "Do you want to fucking bet? I'll throw your ass in a cell," he snarled as he started dragging her back towards the Sanctuary.

   "I'm warning you right now, Negan, you better let me go or so help me God I'll drop you on the ground right now in front of everyone."

   "I'm not fucking playing with you, Gina," he yelled so loudly that everyone in the yard turned to stare at them.

   "Neither am I," she said in a soft voice, waiting for him to calm down. "We either do this together or not at all. You're wasting time."

   Gradually he calmed down, dropping her arm as she stood quietly, waiting for him to come to a decision. "You follow my fucking orders, do you understand?"

   Gina fought the urge to roll her eyes before nodding her head. "Make sure you bring some explosives and blowtorches." _The male ego is a precious thing_ , she thought to herself. She knew he was pissed at her as he went back over to the guns. When she stepped up next to him, Ethan handed her one of the maps without making eye contact.

   She took it without a word, carrying it back into the cafeteria and spreading it out over one of the empty tables. Studying it intently, she shouted out for someone to bring her a pencil. A minute later, one appeared in front of her face as she muttered a brisk thanks without looking up.

   "You're welcome," came a husky voice as her head snapped up. It was Sergio. "Are you headed somewhere?" he asked politely, not seeming at all uncomfortable, though Gina surely was. She hadn't really seen him since the night he kissed her.

   "Uh, we're going out to look for weapons," she answered, putting her head down before she could blush.

   "If you need any extra men, let me know," he replied amicably, retreating before she could answer.

   That's all she needed, she thought crossly. Negan and Sergio in the same group. Blocking him out of her mind, Gina marked out where the Sanctuary was before calling Simon over to show her where the Alexandria community was. With quick strokes, he circled it for her as she plotted out the bases that were the closest, putting a star next to the ones she thought Talia would have gone to.

   "I really miss Google maps," she sighed as Simon let out a chuckle.

   When she had a good idea of which two bases she thought they should explore, she folded up the map and walked to the kitchen to ask them to prepare some food for the road. There was a good chance that they would also find supplies around the base but she didn't want to take any chances.

   Scott from the kitchen appeared a few moments later with a large cooler on wheels, packed with food and water. She thanked him with a smile as he offered to help her out with it. Declining, she took it by the handle, pulling it behind her around the tables and out the front doors.

   Several men and a few women were hustling around, loading up trucks up with weapons. She handed the cooler off to Dwight, who took it without speaking to her. He hadn't had much to do with her since the walker attack, and she was curious as to why, but before she could say anything, Negan ordered the Saviors to get into a circle.

   "We've had a few fucking setbacks," he began as he walked around the gathered groups. "But that changes today. Right fucking now. One of my wives," he said as he looked at her, and she bared her teeth at him in a brutal smile, "has thought of something that none of you fuckers have."

   He swung the bat in an arc, causing a few people to flinch. "We're going on a little road trip to some military bases. Dwight is going to take half of you and the rest of you are with me. Do not, and I repeat, do not fucking return here without an assload of guns. We have a score to settle and it's going to be bloody. Now get the hell out of here."

   Motioning to her and Dwight, she followed him over to his black truck with Dwight right behind her. He held out an extra map as she showed them the two bases that she picked out. After a quick discussion, Dwight went over to his group, instructing them before getting into his truck and heading out.

   Gina stood there stewing about his wives crack while he talked to Simon, and when she saw him approaching she got into the passenger's seat, slamming the door loudly.

   Negan got in and set Lucille on the seat between them as she looked out the window, ignoring him until his hand flashed in front of her face. She tossed the map in his direction without looking at him and he opened it roughly, nearly tearing it in two.

   "I don't fucking need this attitude right now," he snapped as she turned towards him. "I've got enough to deal with as it is."

   "Tough shit," she shot back as he clenched his fists, wrinkling the map. "Everything that happens from this moment forward affects me too."

   "I don't want you involved in this," Negan said through clenched teeth.

   "But I am involved," she explained calmly. "How can I not be? You're knee deep in shit and I'm right there with you."

   "This has nothing to do with you."

   "You see, that's what you're not getting through that thick skull of yours. This isn't just about your ego or your standing. This is about our lives. Yours, mine and everyone in that factory."

   "Don't you think I know that?" he argued, slamming one hand on the wheel, causing it to shake.

   "I know you know that," she said serenely. "I just don't think it's the first thing you think about. One of the things I love about you is that you're passionate. And you're smart," Gina added. "But those two qualities don't always mesh well. Passion will almost always override intelligence. So I'm going to do everything I can to make sure that doesn't happen."

   She reached out, cupping his face in her hand. "Look at me, please."

   He turned his head, looking at her cautiously. "I don't need this place. I only need you. I know it's different for you, but I need you to come through this. I was always independent," she admitted bitterly, "but I don't want to go through this world without you."

   His eyes softened as he covered her hand with his own. She knew that he couldn't echo her words, but Negan closed his eyes briefly before handing her back the map.

   After passing out of the gates, she directed him towards their destination, hopeful that it wasn't in vain.


	32. Chapter 32

   The stench of decaying and decomposing bodies was overwhelming, even after two days of being around it. Gina tried to breathe through her mouth as much as possible, but then she felt like she could taste the filth. They were almost done packing up the trucks, and she dreaded the return to the Sanctuary. Negan would surely be putting some sort of plan into motion soon, and he was as happy as a child with their new bounty.

   It had taken them almost a full day to fight their way into the armory since the base was inundated with walkers. Gina could barely lift her arms after firing and swinging a knife for hours, and she had sat in outside the doors for some time before joining the rest of the Saviors as they worked to get into the secured storage. A loud explosion had alerted her to their hopeful success, and she had dragged herself along the darkened hallways towards the sounds of laughter and cheers.

   She and Negan spent the night curled up in the bed of the truck on a pile of blankets, and while he slept she watched the stars move across the sky. Bleary eyed the next morning, she worked quietly away from him, volunteering to squeeze into the smaller ammunition portal to hand out the bullets. There were hundreds of boxes and cases, and each one could take out more walkers than anyone could dare dream of, but instead, they would be taking human lives, possibly even Talia's.

   Negan came strutting out as she sat on the tailgate, sipping water and pouring some down her back. He had his cocky smile on, laughing and joking with one of the women as he made his way towards her. Her legs were swinging back and forth as she waited for him to reach her.

   "Are you ready to head back, doll?" he asked as the woman continued on. _My name is Gina._

   "Whenever you are," she replied, pouring some of the water into her hand and pulling her shirt down, letting it trickle down her chest. She was more than ready to get a real shower and clean herself up. She also didn't mind his little performance with the female Savior, she knew that's who he was, she was just too hot and irritated to want to witness it.

   "Well, hop down and let's get going," he said with a smile as she complied. Opening the door to let it air out, Gina bent down, stretching her legs to loosen them up for the long trip back. After slamming the tailgate closed and making sure the weapons were securely tied down, Negan started up the truck, blasting the air conditioning as he put the vehicle into drive.

   They were the first to move, and he swung in a large arc through the parking lot, trying to avoid the bodies scattered on the ground. Gina pulled the bandana out of her pocket, tying it in a headband to keep the little wisps of hair out of her face. As they moved slowly towards the front of the base, she tilted the seat back, resting her head on the headrest as Negan hummed softly.

   "I told you that you didn't have to come," he told her as she watched the base get further and further away in the side mirror.

   "I'm fine," she replied as she crossed her legs, her foot bouncing up and down.

   "You've barely spoken in the last two days," he noted while she bit her lip. "You were also up most of the night last night."

   "Why talk when you don't have anything to say?" she said.

   She could see his shoulders stiffen out of the corner of her eye.

   "I don't know why you're getting upset. This wasn't a pleasure trip for me."

   "Jesus Christ," he muttered as she closed her eyes. Gina didn't want to fight with him, so she remained silent the rest of the way.

   The familiar sight of the Sanctuary rose up out of the horizon, causing Gina to adjust her seat, sitting back up as they pulled in, parking right next to the weapons bay. She left Negan to direct his men while she headed to the cafeteria to make a request with the kitchen before heading upstairs for the night. Hot, sticky and tired, she stripped off her clothes as she made her way through the room.

   The shower felt amazing, and she pampered herself, washing her hair twice before shaving and cleaning up, letting the experience rejuvenate her body and soul. When she was done, Gina lotioned herself up before throwing on a nightgown, leaving her legs free. She had just finished drying her hair when there was a knock on the door.

   Answering it, she found one of the kitchen workers holding a large tray with food. Thanking the young woman, she carried it to the bed, setting it down before crawling on.

   Lifting the cover, she was pleased to discover plump tomatoes and cucumbers drizzled with oil and vinegar along with linguine and fresh garlic bread. Digging in, she ate her fill before covering it back up, leaving the rest for Negan.

   After brushing her teeth, she curled up with a book, laying on her side across the bed. Several minutes later, Negan came in, joined by Simon and Dwight. Gina didn't bother to look up, but she pulled the nightgown down slightly, covering up her knees as they congregated at his desk, making plans for the next day.

   "We leave at dawn," he ordered the two men as he took off his jacket. "I want Rick fucking Grimes dead by mid-morning."

   Before they left, Negan stopped Dwight. "You did a good job with the weapons, so take the night off and enjoy yourself."

   She heard the door close and Negan's footsteps as he entered the bedroom, but she continued to stare at the book, reading the same sentence three times before finally giving up. Flipping the cover closed, she leaned her head on her arm as he took off his shirt, tossing it haphazardly towards the hamper. He did the same with his pants, boxers, and socks, walking into the bathroom and closing the door behind him.

   With a sigh, she stood up and put the clothes all the way in the basket and then set the book back on the shelf before sitting down on the edge of the bed. Listening to the shower run, she felt a prickle of fear running down her spine. The later it got, the closer they were to this war. Negan would be leaving in the morning, and it may be the last time she ever saw him. It was a fact that she could no longer ignore, and even though he was riding a wave of bloodlust, she was sinking down below an ocean of fear.

   Once the water shut off, she heard the sink flip on and the sound of an electric razor start up. Gina pulled herself to her feet and opened the door. He glanced at her briefly as she leaned against the doorjamb before focusing back on his reflection. Overwhelmed with emotion, she came up behind him, putting her arms around his waist and resting her cheek against his back.

   Almost immediately, he stopped working on his face, setting the razor down and turning himself around to face her. She wasn't crying, but her eyes were glassy as she looked up at him, desperately wanting to beg him to stay with her, to just let it go.

   "Come and eat when you're done," she said instead as she backed away from him.

   "I'll be right out," he told her as she shut the door again. Gina spent the next few minutes walking around the room, trying to rid herself of the sense of foreboding that had taken over her. As she passed the desk, there was a soft knock at the door.

   Lexie was standing in the hallway with a smile. "Sorry to bother you," she chirped, "but I was wondering if you had any more fruit? I've been craving it for days."

   Gina walked over to the table, picking up the entire basket and carrying it with her. Everything was going to shit, and all Lexie cared about was food.

   "Take it all," she said, handing the basket over.

   "Oh, no, I don't want to do that," she protested, holding up her hands.

   "Really, it's fine," Gina said dully. "I can always go out and pick more."

   "Oh, thank you, Gina," she trilled with a grin. "You're the best. Have a good night."

   She gave Lexie a cursory smile before closing the door. Negan was now sitting on the bed, picking through the food as she continued to pace, her chest burning.

   "You're going to wear a hole in the floor, sweetheart. Come sit down," he said between bites.

   As she approached him, he pushed the tray away, patting his lap and reaching for her. Gina sat on him, burying her face in his neck, which was now smooth. One of his arms held her waist while the other supported her back.

   "It's going to be okay," he said as she started to cry. "Believe in me."

   She clutched at his neck, taking large shuddering breaths. This could be the last time he ever held her. The last time she would be safe in his arms. Her face was wet as she wrenched him towards her, burying him in kisses. His forehead, his cheeks, his chin, and finally his lips.

   The tray crashed to the floor as he laid her back. He leaned away to pick it up, but she whimpered a no, pulling him back on top of her. She needed full contact with him, every bit of his body as she ran her hands all over him before reaching into his pajamas and grasping him in her palm. Reaching down, Negan yanked the pants down before lifting the nightgown up, and she guided him towards her.

   He entered her slowly as she brushed the hair out of his face, kissing him tenderly. They made love, and it was intimate, full of words that she didn't think either of them could say. Every caress and every touch told the story for them. Their lips didn't part until he moaned her name into her ear as he came, and a tear slid down her cheek.

   Raising his head, Negan wiped it away with his thumb before turning her to her side. They lay facing each other as he ran his fingers from her shoulder down to her elbow and back up again.

   "Thank you," she whispered as she closed her eyes.

   "For what?" His voice was as soft as hers.

   "For walking down those steps that day."

   Gina fell asleep to him stroking her arm, sleeping so heavily that she didn't feel him kiss her goodbye at dawn.

   When she woke the next morning, she was still curled up on her side. There was a piece of paper on his pillow and she reached for it with shaking hands. There were only two sentences written.

    _This isn't goodbye, love._

_I'll see you soon._

 

   With a heavy heart, she got out of bed and went to the window, but there was nothing to see. All of the trucks were gone, and there were only the residents and guards remaining. Gina went in and brushed her teeth, pulling her hair up as she pulled out one of his shirts, which she had taken to wearing more often. A pair of shorts and tennis shoes completed her wardrobe and she left the room to go down to the garden.

   It was so early that most of the people in the Sanctuary were still sleeping or eating breakfast, so she was alone when she opened the gate, dragging her supplies in with her. Time seemed to be at a standstill as she moved from row to row, pulling weeds and picking ripe fruits and vegetables. When she got to the last plant, she handed off all of the bounty to one of the older women. She had worked through lunch, not that she could eat.

   The longer he was gone, the more she knew he wasn't coming back. She knew deep in her soul that something had gone wrong, and a wave of dread hit her so hard that she found herself short of breath. She stood in the middle of the lot struggling to breathe until Seth and Daniel came rushing over to guide her into the cafeteria.

   They were almost to the door when the sounds of trucks approaching caused her to break free of them to rush towards the gates. Her heart was beating so rapidly that she could feel it pounding behind her eyes as the gates opened slowly. Dwight was driving in the first truck, and he was alone. Five trucks pulled in behind him as she stood frozen in fear.

   The doors of the other vehicles opened, revealing her sister, Rick, Daryl, and several other Alexandrians, and she knew. She knew as she ran towards Dwight, punching and kicking at him as she screamed hysterically. "What did you do? What did you _do_?"

   Strong hands clamped down on her wrists pulling her arms behind her back as he took a step back. "I did what I had to do, Gina. I did what I needed to do to end this."

   All of the strength left her body as whoever was holding her let her go and she slumped to her knees. Dwight continued to try to talk to her, but his voice was lost in the buzzing in her brain as she shut down completely.


	33. Chapter 33

**Talia**

 

   Talia climbed down the ladder as she finished her guard shift, and she was starving. She had skipped lunch since it was too hot to eat with the sun beating down all afternoon. Aaron had taken her spot on the wall and she headed slowly towards home.

   The last few days had been quiet, much quieter than she had anticipated since the Saviors had shown up and the Hilltop and the Kingdom. Maggie, Sasha, and Jesus were able to drive Simon and his men away after making sure Gregory was secured in one of the mobile homes. They had gathered their people together to inform them of what had gone on at Alexandria, and they were overwhelmingly in favor of fighting back as well.

   Gregory had tried to turn the tide, only to be unceremoniously voted out of his position as leader. He had been angry, demanding to be let go, but since Maggie knew that he would head straight for the Sanctuary, looking to sell them out and reestablish his position, he was currently being kept comfortable with a guard assigned to him day and night.

   Rick had been at the Kingdom when Negan and his men arrived, and the fight had been more intense. When Ezekiel had denied him entrance, Negan had immediately begun firing on the community, but thanks to Rick, they were more than prepared. The bullets flew through the air, along with Shiva and when the smoke cleared, they had taken out a large contingent of Saviors. Negan had retreated, leaving the Kingdom to fight another day.

   Dwight had been MIA for the last few days, and Rick thought that he was out with Negan planning whatever attack was sure to come next. So the three communities were on watch, prepared for any situation, hopefully.

   Talia opened the front door, kicking off her boots and setting down her gun. They no longer went anywhere without being armed, even if it was in their own homes. No one knew when or where the next attack would be, so Rick wanted everyone to have at least some sort of protection.

   Daryl still wasn't back yet, so she went into the kitchen to put together a quick dinner. The Hilltop and the Kingdom had given them a generous supply of fresh food, including eggs for the weapons, so she put together a small salad and boiled some of the eggs. Rick and Daryl had gone back to the Kingdom and the Hilltop today to go over any contingency plans in case Negan attacked them first, and Rick had made arrangements to send the weakest Alexandrians to both places if Dwight came through and let them know that they were first on the list.

   She was just wrapping up the leftovers and setting them in the fridge when the door opened and Daryl came in. Grabbing them back out, she set the plate down in front of him as he sat down and got him some water. 

   "How did it go?" she asked as he ate quickly. 

   "Alright," he mumbled.

   "By all means, no need to elaborate," she said as she cocked her head to the side.

   Daryl looked up, glaring at her as she grinned at him. He set the fork down with a smirk before wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

   "Both places are ready to fight. They also agreed to take our people if we get hit first. Maggie and Sasha have all their fighters securing the land around the Hilltop and Rosita is gonna go there tomorrow to set up some dynamite in the fields."

   "Was that so hard?" she teased as he resumed eating. All she got was a grunt in reply. "Do you want some more?" Talia asked as he cleaned his plate.

   "Nah, that was enough," he told her as she took it over to the sink, turning on the water. He sat watching her as she tidied up the kitchen before they climbed the steps to their bedroom. On the nights that they were home together, the usually showered at the same time, both to save water and to just spend time together.

   She went in to turn on the water as he began stripping off his clothes. His skin was bronzed as he spent more and more time outside, and his muscles were prominent as he pulled his shirt over his head. She felt a tingle in her thighs as she watched him. He looked up and caught her staring, causing her to turn quickly back to the water, sticking her hand in and testing it. 

   Jumping slightly as she felt his rough hands on her arms, she let him lift her shirt up over her head, hearing it drop to the floor as he reached around her waist, unbuttoning her jeans and easing them down over her hips. Her bra was next, and she could feel his chest hair tickling her back as he unsnapped the back and pushed it down her shoulders. When her panties were off, she could feel him against her, hard against her back. 

   Pulling him into the shower, they kissed under the spray of water, and she could taste salty sweat on his lips. It had been days since they had been intimate, and she was craving him. Reaching blindly, she felt for the shampoo, breaking away from him finally as she poured some into her hand. He continued to fondle her as she started washing his hair, struggling to concentrate as his hands slid up and down her body, including between her legs. 

   It was becoming a contest of wills, to who could last longer, and she took deep breaths as he kissed her neck, soaping up a washcloth and starting with his back. She made her way over his scars gently before sliding down to his backside. He groaned lightly as she smiled, bringing her hands back around to the front and running them down his chest. 

   When his entire body was clean, she finally bent down onto her knees as he looked down at her. She took him in her mouth as his hips bucked forward, pushing him in all the way. Her head bobbed back and forth as he put both hands on the back of her head, steadying her, and her hands twisted back and forth. After a few minutes, he came in her mouth with a grunt, squeezing her head before pulling out slowly. 

   Daryl helped her to her feet as Talia turned to the water, rinsing out her mouth as she felt him kiss the back of her neck. She quickly washed her hair as he recuperated, and he handed the washcloth to her, licking his lips as she washed her chest. He took over for her as she leaned back into the water, enjoying the feel of his hands on her. 

   She turned off the water once her body was free of soap and he dragged her still soaking wet towards the bed, scooping her up and laying her on her back as she laughed. His hair was sticking up everywhere and she tried to smooth it down as he kissed her from the tip of her nose to her feet, finally making his way back up towards her thighs. The laughter soon turned to moans as he teased her with his tongue, probing between her legs as she squirmed. 

   He brought her up the peak slowly, achingly slowly as she twisted her hips, trying to urge him on, but he pushed her back down, wanting to take his own way. So she shut her eyes, giving herself over to the sensations, letting them build until she finally spasmed, her stomach clenching as she called out to God.

   Her skin was still tingling as he kissed his way back up her body, coming to rest on top of her as she linked her legs around his waist. Daryl was kissing her neck as she reached between them, and finding him hard again, urged him inside her. He eased in, moving in and out as she rocked back in time, leaning up to take his earlobe in her mouth, sucking on it as his hand dug into her hip, tilting her slightly. 

   She held onto him, feeling his muscles move beneath her hands when he sped up, pounding into her with a vengeance, and she held her breath as he climaxed, continuing to move as she tightened around him. 

   The doorbell rang, breaking them out of their trance. He quickly got off of her, springing to the window and looking out. "It's Rick," he muttered as he opened it with a squeak. "I'll be right down," he yelled out before closing it. 

   Talia threw on some clothes before going in to brush her hair. Her face and chest were splotchy and she groaned inwardly. There was no way to hide what they were doing. Of course, they were adults and could do as they pleased, but it was still embarrassing. Daryl was already dressed and downstairs by the time she came out of the bathroom, pulling her hair around her neck to cover some of the redness.

   Rick was standing in the kitchen with Daryl and Michonne as she walked in, and Michonne gave her a smirk as she ducked her head. 

   "Sorry to interrupt your evening," Rick said awkwardly as she died a little inside, "but Dwight just got here."

   "We'll be right over," Daryl said as Rick and Michonne each nodded before strolling towards the door. When it closed behind them, she leaned against the wall as Daryl moved towards her with a smile.

   "Shut up," she muttered as he pulled her hair away from her face, kissing her neck gently. 

   After putting on their shoes, they headed towards Rick's house, joined by Tara and Rosita. They joined Rick, Dwight, Michonne and Aaron in the kitchen, each taking a seat at the table.

   Dwight glanced at her as he began. "Your sister figured out where you guys were getting your guns." Talia's face blanched as he continued. "We've spent the last two days at two bases, and we were very successful. Negan's going to be here at dawn, and his main goal is to take you out, Rick. He thinks if he kills you, your group will stand down."

   "They won't," Rick replied as Michonne took his hand. "No matter what happens to me, we won't go back."

   "I know that, but this has to be it. This has to be when we defeat them. He'll just keep coming for you."

   "Have you recruited anyone in the Sanctuary?" Tara asked as she stared at him. Her face was neutral, but her words were sharp.

   "I have a few guys that have bought in, and I trust them. When we come tomorrow, they'll be on guard, so if we make it through this, the Sanctuary will be under our control. Negan pulled all his fighters from the outposts for this because of the losses at the Kingdom."

   "Does he have a specific plan?" Talia asked as Dwight tapped his nails on the table.

   "He's going to have four teams, one for each side of the fence. He plans on blowing up the walls and storming in. Simple and messy at the same time."

   He stood up, edging his way out of the room. "Look, I've gotta get back before he suspects anything, but you have the rest of the night to figure something out, how you're gonna fortify this place. I suggest you strike first before he even has a chance to put his grenades in play, throw him into chaos. If you can take out the rest of his guards, I'll stick close to him and try to disarm him."

   "Thank you," Rick said sincerely, surprising Talia. She knew that he was still distrustful of Dwight probably up until that moment. But it was Rosita who nearly knocked her off her seat.

   "Stay away from the abandoned cars scattered around," she warned him without looking at him. "They're going to be filled with dynamite."

   His eyebrows rose as he nodded before starting for the door. 

   "We've got a little bit of daylight left, so we need to get moving. Rosita, whatever you've got up your sleeve, take Aaron with you to help you out. Daryl and Talia, can you round up everyone we need to get to safety and take them to the Hilltop? Michonne and I will get everyone else together to get them up to speed and start getting the guns ready."

   Everyone broke apart as they got to work. Talia and Daryl went from house to house, telling everyone that couldn't fight that they need to pack quickly and meet them at the RV. Fifteen minutes later, they were loading people onto the big vehicle as Michonne approached with Judith asleep in her arms. 

   She handed the child off to Talia, who climbed into the passenger's seat with her, laying her on her shoulder before setting her bag on the ground. Once everyone was settled, Tobin opened the gate and they took off. The RV was packed to the roof with people, some of them sitting on the floor as the older residents sat on the couches and bed.   
The sun had gone down by the time they arrived at the Hilltop, and the gates opened immediately as soon as they were in sight. Daryl pulled off to the right as Sasha and Maggie came out of the big house. Opening the door, she handed the baby over to Sasha as she climbed out.

   "Negan's attacking at dawn," she said as Maggie shook her head. "Sorry for showing up unannounced, but Dwight just told us."

   "Come on in," she urged them, waving the residents towards the house. She and Sasha spent the next hour getting the Alexandrians settled as Talia put Judith down in Maggie's bed, making sure she wouldn't roll off before turning on the monitor that Michonne had packed.

   When she came back downstairs, she walked into Gregory's old office where Daryl, Maggie, Jesus, and Sasha were sitting on the couches. 

   "We're coming with you," Jesus told her as Talia sat down next to him. 

   "Are you sure that's the best idea?" she asked as she looked at each of them. "If we don't win, he'll probably hit here next."

   "We're going to make sure that doesn't happen," Sasha said confidently, smiling at Daryl.

   "I'm going to stay, obviously," Maggie replied as Talia handed her the monitor. "We're going to keep some of our fighters here but Sasha, Jesus, Desmond, and Hannah are going to join you. Are you going to let Carol and Morgan know what's going down?'

   Daryl and Talia looked at each other before Daryl spoke. "I just that should be our next stop."

   They stood up as Jesus and Sasha quickly left to round up the other two, and Maggie followed them to the door. "Be careful," she said before pulling them each into a hug.   
Talia gave her a reassuring smile, even though her stomach was starting to hurt. The turning point was here, and there was no going back. They were either going to be free or die trying.

   She sat quietly in the back of the RV as Jesus rode in the passenger's seat next to Daryl. She was zoned out, thinking about her sister. Gina would be devastated if Negan died, but how do they let him live, knowing all of the misery he's caused. If he had just left them alone or agreed to be trade partners instead of their oppressors, it would have never come to this. 

   She truly wanted to know how this man earned her sisters loyalty. Perhaps there was a human being deep down inside of him, though she had never seen it. If Negan had shown just an ounce of compassion or humanity, she would think differently. But now he had to die. They had to take another human life for the betterment of the rest of humanity. 

   When she finally looked up, she noticed Jesus watching her. "Are you nervous?" he asked gently, moving over to sit next to her. 

   "I'm thinking about my sister, about how this will affect her."

   "Aah, I see," he said understandingly. "She doesn't see the same Negan that we do."

   "If there was some way to reason with this man, I would do it." 

   "Are you nuts?"

   Sasha leaned forward. "He killed the man I loved. Beat him to death with a baseball bat. He took everything away from Maggie and I. He took away our future."

   "And I'm taking my sisters away," she replied hotly. "It's not something I'm happy about. I just wish the situation was different."

   "Well, it's not," Sasha said, "so you need to accept it."

   Daryl glanced back at her to make sure she was okay, but she just shook her head as Sasha joined him up front. It was dark when they pulled up to the Kingdom gates, and everyone climbed out as they parked in front. 

   When the guard saw Jesus, they opened the gates and the rest followed Jesus inside. The area was deserted as one of the men climbed down to speak with them.

   "We'd like to see the King if we could," Jesus said pleasantly as the man hustled off towards his quarters. 

   About ten minutes later, King Ezekiel appeared, followed by Carol, Morgan, and his right hand Jerry. 

   "Good evening, Jesus," he said regally as Carol flanked him on one side. Daryl moved forward to hug her, pulling her tightly against his chest. 

   "Alexandria received a visitor today," Jesus explained as Daryl let go of Carol, who was looking from person to person as Morgan moved his fighting stick from hand to hand. "Negan is attacking Alexandria at dawn."

   Ezekiel's face gave nothing away as he nodded slightly. 

   "We wanted to warn you in case it doesn't go well. Dwight has given us some information, and Alexandria is busy preparing to defend their home. The Hilltop has taken in the people who can't fight, and a few of us are joining them."

   Carol squared her shoulders before walking over to join them. "I'm coming with you," she said before looking pointedly at the other men. 

   "Carol, perhaps we should discuss this first," Ezekiel said as she leveled him with a glare. 

    "There is no discussion," she said before walking towards the RV. 

   Everyone stared as Ezekiel shook his head in frustration. "If my queen gives an order, who am I to argue?"

   Talia fought to hide a smile as she and Sasha looked at each other. His queen? Apparently, they had missed out on a lot of information in the past few days. She elbowed Daryl in the arm and he closed his mouth, which had been hanging open. 

   "Morgan, Jerry, you will accompany them in the recreational vehicle, and I will have Richard ferry Shiva and I. We will be there shortly," he said before turning and heading back towards his home. 

   Jerry had a big smile as he followed behind Morgan. At least someone was happy to be fighting. 

   This time Talia retook the front seat as everyone climbed into the RV. They were bringing back at least eight more fighters, so Rick would be happy. After turning the big vehicle around, Daryl directed them home, weaving around a handful of walkers that were wandering aimlessly in the road. 

   It was nearly midnight as they approached Alexandria, and they could see that the residents were still hard at work. There were cars lined up at angles along the road, waiting to be placed bumper to bumper once they got back. They rolled through the open gates as Rick came out of the armory to meet them, and a wide grin formed on his face when he saw the extra passengers. 

   Opening the door, he shook hands with Jesus, Jerry, and Morgan before hugging Sasha and Carol, the latter for several seconds. Afterward, Jesus introduced him to Desmond and Hannah, who were looking around in awe at the houses. 

   Michonne came out a few minutes later, and after the introductions were made again, she showed them to some empty houses where they could get some rest before dawn. Everyone but Daryl and Talia took their leave, and Rick waved them over towards his house.

   "Ezekiel is coming soon with his tiger," Talia told him as they walked up the steps, "so I hope you have somewhere to put them. I think Carol would prefer to stay with him."  
Rick stopped short, his eyes going wide as Daryl huffed to himself. "Really?' he asked in surprise as Talia smiled. 

   "Oh, yeah."

   They sat in the kitchen, waiting for Michonne to return as Rick rubbed his face, looking tired. 

   "Are we ready for this, Rick?" Talia finally asked as he clasped his hands, laying them on the table. 

   "Rosita set up eight bombs, I guess you could call them," he said as he kept an eye on the door. "There are two on each side of the fences, far enough away to keep them from damaging the walls, and each one has a remote button. The weapons are all ready to go, and each wall is also going to have grenades. Hopefully, we can keep them outside, but if any of the walls do come down, I instructed everyone to retreat."

   The door opened and Michonne shouted for Rick, though she didn't come in, and he stood up quickly as Daryl followed behind. Talia remained seated, unsure if she wanted to see Shiva again. Curiosity finally won out, and she stepped out onto the porch. Rick was greeting Ezekiel as Shiva prowled around nearby. No one else was brave enough to get close, and Rick walked him slowly through the town as Daryl came back to get her. 

   "Come on," he told her, "we need to get a little rest."

   Taking his hand, she walked beside him as they went home, crawling into bed together as he set the alarm for four thirty. Talia listened to Daryl's breathing slowed gradually and she shut her eyes, trying to will herself into sleep. She got maybe an hour before the alarm starting ringing, causing Daryl to sit up straight in bed. 

   Talia's eyes felt like someone had poured sand in them, but she stood up, brushing her teeth and hair quickly before hurrying downstairs to make a quick cup of coffee. She wanted to be sharp, needed to be sharp for the next few hours, so she drank it black, choking it down before handing a cup to Daryl. He did the same and they set the cups in the sink to head outside. 

   People were beginning to line up for weapons as they joined the growing group. Rick was already out there, directing people where he wanted them to set up, and when he spied Daryl and Talia, he waved them over to direct them. "Can you guys supervise the east wall?" he asked as Daryl nodded his head. 

   The east wall looked over a large field, which would give Talia a good sightline to view any incoming Saviors. They walked over, taking several guns and some grenades as Rosita approached them holding a small box.

   "There are five cars out in the field," she said as she handed Talia the box. "The white button goes with the red car and the black button matched up with the black car."

   "Got it," Talia said as Rosita moved towards Sasha and Jesus, directing them in much the same way. Arms loaded down, she followed Daryl over to the east wall, climbing up behind him and handing him the box as she pulled herself up. The sky had lightened slightly, and they placed themselves in the middle of the wall as people spread out on either side of them. 

   It was quiet as everyone took their places, and Talia tried to breathe deeply to keep herself calm. The day of reckoning was here, and now they could only wait.


	34. Chapter 34

  
   Talia sat with her back against the wall while Daryl kept watch. She held her gun tightly against her chest as she waited for some sign as the sky started to turn orange.

   "I see movement in the trees," Daryl said softly around twenty minutes later as he ducked down, waving to the people on either side. Talia got up on her knees, peering through the slats of metal.

   "One o'clock," Daryl whispered as she squinted, looking just off to the right. Sure enough, there were four or five men dressed in black running towards the old tan car that had been parked about twenty feet away from the woods. They stayed behind the vehicle, waiting for some sort of cue, she guessed.

   Everyone on the wall was crouched down and ready for any sort of signal to begin firing, but Daryl continued to urge them to stay down as they sound of trucks in the distance began to get closer to the front of Alexandria. Talia didn't tear her eyes away from the men, however, waiting for any of them to expose themselves to being fired upon. Three more men appeared out of the treeline, making a run for the next furthest car in the field, this one being an old white hatchback.

   She could see their feet underneath the car as she looked back and forth between the two groups. They had no idea what was happening up front, and her muscles began to tense as she waited for something, anything to happen. Next to her, Daryl opened the box that Rosita gave him, putting a detonator in each hand.

   "White for red, black for black," Talia whispered as a reminder.

   A series of booms shook the walls, shocking Talia so much that she nearly fell backward off the landing. Righting herself, she saw the three men behind the hatchback take off running towards the wall, and she whipped her gun up, opening fire on them. She hit the closest man in the chest, taking him down as the rest of the Alexandrians on the wall opened fire.

   Someone hit one of the Saviors in the leg and he went down, tossing something small and black to the last guy who ducked down next to the red car. Daryl pressed the button, and the car exploded, bursting into flames. She could hear the man in the field screaming in pain as he clutched his leg and she lined him up in her scope, shooting him in the head as he flopped backward.

   Gunfire flew over their heads as the men behind the tan car emerged with their guns drawn, and she and Daryl ducked down. Tobin wasn't fast enough, and a bullet hit him in the shoulder as he flew in an arc off the wall, landing on his back in the grass with a sickening thud. A second Alexandrian was hit as Talia peered through the hole.

   "Press it!" she screamed at Daryl as three of the men got close to the black car. A second later, it burst into flames, catching two of the men on fire. The other one continued to run, and he got dangerously close to the fence. She watched in horror as he launched a grenade over their heads, and a thunderous explosion went off behind them. She could feel a warmth on her back as the house behind them caught fire.

   Standing up, she let loose with a volley of shots, taking the closest Savior out before Daryl pulled her back down. There were three men left, and they were all firing at the wall. The bullets were hitting the metal, pinging loudly in their ears as divots began to form in front of them.

   "We gotta take them out," Daryl shouted over the sound. "These walls can't take many more shots."

   "Cover me," she told him as she swung back around. They both stood up at the same time, firing out into the field. Three other people stood up as well, and they all aimed for the three remaining men who had taken cover behind the closest car. Talia saw one of them through the window and she fired, causing the glass to shatter in a shower of shards.

   The man's shoulder appeared in the open space and she shot twice in succession, hitting him both times. The second man dropped to the ground as one of the other Alexandrians hit him in the chest, leaving two remaining, both behind the closest car.

   Talia took a deep breath, focusing on the gas tank and praying there was enough gas in there to catch fire. She aimed just below the little square on the side of the car, letting the gun do most of the work. After hitting it five times, a large orange flame bloomed out into the air, causing the two men to run into the field towards the woods.  
Daryl and the others kept shooting, and the two men finally dropped into the grass, unmoving. Talia's hands were shaking as she dropped to her knees. They couldn't relax, however, because the house behind them was still burning, and Tobin was laying on the ground below them. She followed Daryl on shaky legs as he ran for the ladder, practically sliding down it.

   Talia told the others to stay alert as she climbed down much slower. When she hit the ground, she rushed over to Daryl who had his fingers on Tobin's neck, feeling for a pulse. She knelt down next to him as he shook his head, pulling out a knife and inserting it just behind Tobin's ear. They each took an arm and dragged him away from the house to the edge of the street. Talia stood watch over him as Daryl ran to find a hose so that they could try to put out the fire.

   Around them, shots were still ringing out, and as Daryl returned with a hose, he handed it to her and she attached it to the spigot on the house next to the one that was on fire. Twisting the knob all the way, she ran back, handing it to Daryl, who aimed the trigger at the bottom of the house, letting loose a stream of water. While he was trying to put it out, she took off towards their house to get their hose, hoping to get in on the house on the other side.

   Pulling it out of their little garage, she took off towards Daryl, nearly running into Aaron. He was out of breath, but otherwise uninjured. "Here," she panted, flinging the hose at him. "Work on the other side," she told him as she took off back towards Daryl. Talia was no more than ten feet from him when an earsplitting crash came from the front of Alexandria.

   She ran as fast as she could towards the sound as Daryl yelled after her, not even able to think clearly as she rounded the corner. People were scattered everywhere as she saw a truck laying on its side just inside the gate. Men were pouring through the gaping hole as she ducked behind one of the houses, her heart pounding. Clutching her rifle in her hand, she debated on what to do. If she stepped out, she was an easy target, but if she just stayed where she was, people could die.

   Just as she came down on the side of moving, one of the Saviors came around the corner, and she fired, shooting him point blank. "Fuck," she swore, turning and running around the back of the house. The gunfire stopped abruptly, and she waited a moment before moving carefully back towards the street. Peeking out, she stared in shock as she took in the scene.

   Negan was on his knees in the grass by the gazebo, surrounded by Dwight, Michonne, and Rick, who was pacing in a circle, nearly unhinged. She found herself walking towards them, her feet carrying her as if they had a mind of their own. Her gun was hanging limply at her side as she got closer. Dwight looked up briefly, noticing her before turning his attention back to Negan, who was bleeding profusely from his mouth and sporting a split lip. His left eye was swollen and purple as he watched Rick with not a hint of fear on his face.

   Talia came to a stop a few feet away from the group, watching everything numbly. Rick came and stood above Negan, looking down at him with hatred.

   "It didn't have to be like this," he said as Negan looked back steadily. "We could have worked together. All of us. We gave you chance after chance, and you just kept killing."

  Talia took another step forward and Negan glanced at her briefly before returning his gaze to Rick.

   "You started something, but you did it wrong," Rick muttered, talking more to himself than anyone else. "You found communities, and instead of making everyone better, you just took and took.You could have been the one that made a difference.  And you killed. How many people have you killed?"

   Negan spit a large pool of blood on the ground before speaking. "I don't even fucking know anymore."

   A voice came from behind her. "Shoot him, Rick. What are you waiting for?" It was Rosita and she was limping towards them, her leg covered in blood.

   Rick continue to watch Negan, his gun pointed at his face as Talia stepped closer. "He killed Glenn and Abraham," Rosita continued as she edged past Talia until she was just a foot from Negan. "You deserve to die in agony, and if you had that fucking bat with you, I'd give anything to beat you to death with it. Slowly."

   Talia had heard enough. She yanked Rosita back roughly, causing her to fall backward onto the grass. It was one thing to take a life, but if they taunted him like this, they were no better than he was. She looked back at Negan who was watching her almost sadly.

   "Will you do one thing for me?" he asked her as she stared at him.

   "What?" she questioned, her hands shaking.

   "Will you tell your sister that I'm sorry. I'm sorry I fucked things up for her and that I love her. I honest to fucking God love her."

   Talia's chin quivered as she could only nod, afraid to even speak. Once she did, his face seemed to clear and he turned back towards Rick and closed his eyes as Rick cocked the gun.


	35. Chapter 35

   Talia opened the door to her house, and the sound of music drifted down from the upper floor. Setting her gun on the side table, she climbed the steps towards the sound, pleased to see Gina in the hall bathroom applying makeup. She was leaning against the sink, dressed in black capri pants, a red blouse, and sandals, applying eyeliner to her eyes.

   "You look nice," she observed as her sister glanced at her in the mirror.

   "Thanks," Gina replied before setting the eyeliner down and grabbing the eyeshadow palette that was teetering on the edge of the counter.

   "Hot date?" Talia teased as Gina shot her a look.

   "Don't fucking start," she muttered as she applied some shadow to her left lid. "It's just dinner," she replied as she continued to fix herself up.

   Talia mimed zipping her lips before heading to her room. Her heart was nearly bursting with happiness at the change in Gina over the last few months.

   When they had gone to the Sanctuary after the war at Alexandria, Gina had come rushing over to Dwight, hitting him hysterically as Daryl put his arms around her, pulling her back. When Gina had realized that Negan wasn't coming back, she had hit the ground, becoming nearly catatonic.

   Talia had tried to talk to her, but Gina wouldn't respond. She just stayed on the ground for several minutes, staring blankly off into space. She had gotten down next to her, unsure of what to do as she waved everyone away.

   Rick had gone with Dwight to round up the rest of the Sanctuary, intending to speak with everyone about the changes that were now taking place. Dwight was reluctantly taking charge of the community, which would now be allies and trading partners with Alexandria, the Hilltop, and the Kingdom.

   They sat on the ground for several minutes until Gina blinked herself back into reality, seeming to notice for the first time that Talia was next to her. The look on her face sent a shiver down Talia's spine, and she couldn't even summon the bravery to speak when Gina stood up, making her way back into the building.

   Talia was still outside around an hour later when Gina finally reemerged with Dwight following behind her, trying to speak to her. She was dragging two large bags and a blue cooler, and she made her way towards a small pickup truck, tossing the supplies in the bed.

   "Please don't do this," Dwight begged her as Talia approached.

   "Fuck you," she hissed as she went around the back of the truck. "This is no longer my home."

   "Gina, please," Talia said as she grabbed her by the arm, not surprised when she wrenched herself free. "Please just come to Alexandria."

   Gina laughed bitterly as she looked at Talia like a stranger. "That place will never be my home, either. I told you I wanted nothing to do with you before, and I meant it."

   The two stood frozen as Gina got into the truck, starting it up and barrelling out of the open gates. It was only when the truck disappeared from sight that Talia finally moved. She started to cry, deep shuddering sobs as Dwight stood awkwardly next to her, unsure of what to do.

   She had ventured into near hysteria by the time Rick, Michonne, Daryl, and Tara came outside, and Daryl had taken her into his arms, trying to comfort her. "She's gone," she whimpered as he guided her towards their truck.

   "We'll find her," he promised. "But you have to give her some time."

   "She just took off alone," Talia said. "What if something happens to her?"

   Daryl had no answer for her as he helped her into the vehicle, closing the door softly behind her. The trip home had been interminable, and the sight of the wreckage that met them caused her to lose it again. Daryl led her to their house, pulling her upstairs before returning to the kitchen and bringing her a large glass of bourbon.

   He sat with her as she choked it down, letting it dull her senses. When the glass was empty, she laid down on her side, and he got on the bed behind her, holding her as she fell asleep.

   Over the next three months, as Alexandria repaired itself and got back to a differnt normal, which included their new friends, Talia spent most days out looking for her sister. She had visited with Dwight, who mapped out all of the areas where Gina had been on runs and scavenging missions, and she visited each one dutifully, only to end up bitterly disappointed. But she never gave up, until one day, a young man from the Sanctuary named Daniel told her about a place that he had forgotten that they found together.

   "Oh man," he said, snapping his fingers. "We found an old farmhouse a few months ago. Coolest freaking place. It was in great shape and Gina loved it. Maybe she's there?"

   "I need a map," Talia instructed him as he went to fetch one. Dwight looked hopeful and offered to go with her, but she shook her head. "I need to do this on my own," she told him as he nodded shortly. She knew that he was worried about her, too, but Talia felt it was her responsibility to do it.

   It was late November, and it had gotten bitterly cold over the last few days, signaling that winter was well on its way. Zipping up her jacket, she got back into the old sedan after conferring with Daniel and set off in high hopes. Following his instructions, she ended up passing the entrance three times before finally noticing the dirt road that was buried underneath two old boxwood shrubs.

   Pushing her car through the dense shrubbery, she followed the road for several minutes as small flurries drifted down from the sky. Just when she was about to give up, the old farmhouse loomed up in the distance, causing her heart to start thumping. The outside was beautiful, and she could see why Gina fell in love with it. The old pickup that had driven away from her was parked in front of the porch, and she pulled next to it with shaking hands.

   Her legs felt like jelly as she climbed the steps and knocked on the door. No one answered, and she stood there for several minutes. Talia had just about given up and turned to walk away when she heard the sound of the door unlocking. It opened slowly, and she was face to face with Gina.

   She was wearing a thick cable-knit sweater and jeans, and her hair was shorter, just brushing her shoulders as she looked at Talia suspiciously.

   "May I come in?" she asked softly as Gina opened the door slightly. Stepping in, she looked around as she heard the door close behind her. The house was fully furnished, and it was beautiful. Gina walked past her towards the kitchen, and Talia lamely followed her in.

   The counters were covered in mason jars which were filled with canned fruits and vegetables, and the lights shone brightly in the kitchen as Talia finally figured out that the house must have a generator. Gina leaned against the wall with her arms crossed.

   "How have you been?" she inquired as Gina continued to watch her.

   "Fine," Gina muttered. It wasn't friendly, but it wasn't overtly hostile.

   "Have you been out here by yourself the entire time?"

   "Who else would I be with?" Gina snapped, color blooming in her cheeks as she tucked her hair behind her ear. "I don't have anyone else. Not anymore."

   "I didn't come here to fight with you," Talia implored her, taking a step forward.

   "Why did you come, then?" Gina asked, her face unreadable once again.

   "I came to ask you to come to Alexandria," she said as Gina shook her head vehemently. "Please just hear me out," she continued. "Winter is here, and it's not safe to be out here by yourself. Please just come until spring. If you're still dead set on being alone, I won't stop you, I swear. You don't have to interact with anyone you don't want to, and you can stay with me or have your own place."

   Gina closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "I can't."

   Talia came to stand in front of her, placing her hands on Gina's shoulders, feeling her stiffen underneath them. "I know you hate me," she said, the tears starting to form in her eyes. "And I don't blame you, but I love you. You're my other half. I can't live with myself if I don't try. Please, Gigi. Just until spring. Please."

   She held her breath as Gina bit the inside of her cheek. Talia knew that she was debating what to do, having watched her do this their entire lives. The silence was deafening until Gina finally spoke.

   "I'll come tomorrow," she said as Talia exhaled in relief. "But after this, I don't owe you anything. If I want to leave, you have no right to stop me."

   "I promise."

   "Then I'll close this place up and see you tomorrow."

   "Do you need help?" Talia asked as Gina finally opened her eyes.

   "No, I can do it myself. I've been taking care of this place for the last three months."

   Talia backed away towards the door, trying not to do anything that would change her mind. "I'll see you tomorrow, then."

   Gina followed her to the door, closing it behind her and locking it as she walked back down the porch. Talia drove back down the road, making the trip to Alexandria on autopilot. Part of her thought that Gina wouldn't show the next day, but she knew deep down that she'd be there. When her sister committed to something, she usually followed through.  

   When she arrived back home, she went immediately to Rick's house to inform him. He was shocked when she told him that she actually found her, and even more surprised that Gina agreed to come. Rick assured her that she would be welcomed with open arms, and Talia believed him. The only one that would've had a problem with it was Rosita, but since she had moved to the Hilltop, no conflict remained.

   The next morning, Talia paced nervously by the gate, earning several looks from Rick and Daryl. She ignored them as she peeked through the bars, waiting anxiously for any sign of Gina. Roughly an hour later, the small pickup appeared in the distance, and Rick opened the gate, letting it pass through before closing it again.

   Gina got out slowly, looking around suspiciously until Rick approached her. "I know this is difficult for you, Gina," he said gently, "but I want you to know we're happy that you came. I want you to feel welcome."

   She nodded slightly before going to the bed of the truck. There were two bags placed in between several boxes. "I don't have much to offer," she said steadily as she opened the tailgate, "but I brought some fruits and vegetables that I canned along with some wine."

   "That's very generous of you," Rick said with a smile as Daryl stepped up to help him unload the boxes, as Talia offered to show her around. The wind blew steadily as she walked her through the community, introducing her to Michonne, Aaron and Tara along with several new residents.

   After they made their way around the community, Talia sensed that her sister was feeling overwhelmed, so she offered to take her to their house. They went back for her bags, and each took one, walking side by side as they approached the townhouse.

   "The house next to me is empty if you'd like to set up there," Talia told her as they climbed the steps.

   "I'll be fine here for now if it's not an imposition," Gina said formally as Talia opened the door, ushering her in. Setting the bags down, Gina looked around the house, letting Talia show her the lower level before leading her upstairs to the bedrooms.

   Opening the door to the guest room, she let Gina walk in, and she looked around before nodding her head. They went back downstairs to get her bags, and Talia set one on the bed as Gina unzipped the other one, unpacking her clothes and supplies. Talia offered to help her, but Gina declined politely, and Talia shut the door behind her to give her some privacy.

   It was awkward and uncomfortable, but given the recent history, Talia could understand why. She just hoped that in time they could repair their relationship.

   The next few weeks were difficult as Gina adjusted to Alexandria. Everyone was welcoming, but Talia could still hear her cry occasionally at night, long after Daryl had fallen asleep. Unable to take it anymore, she had gone into Gina's room, slipping into bed behind her, putting her arms around her twin and hugging her tight.

   "I know this is hard, Gigi, but I hope one day you can forgive me."

   Gina began to cry harder, and Talia's eyes filled with tears, her heart hurting with an inability to take the pain away. They fell asleep together, and the next day, she sensed a change. Gina began to push her away a little less, and began to interact more with her family.

   It started with volunteering to take a watch shift on the wall. Rick had been surprised, but supportive, allowing her to pick whatever time she wanted.  
  
   The holidays passed quietly, leading into the new year, and Gina ended up going to Rick and asking if she was allowed to go on runs. Talia offered to join her, but she said that it was something that she wanted to do alone.

   "I need to do this myself," she said with a smile as Rick watched the two of them. "I think it will really help me."

   Rick gave her his blessing, and when the weather was nice, she would go out for a day or two at a time, always returning with something, whether it was clothes, medical supplies or even just books.

   As the winter turned into spring, Talia grew nervous that Gina would leave, but after returning from one of her runs, she sat Talia and Daryl down in the kitchen.

   "I think I'm going to stay," she said, folding her hands in her lap.

   "I'm glad to hear it," Talia told her, afraid to make too big of a deal about the news.

   "Me, too," Daryl told her with a smile. "Any chance you'll be canning more fruit this summer? Because it's the best I've ever had."

   Gina gave him a warm smile before punching him in the shoulder. "If you help me pick it, Dixon, you can have all the fruit you want. I'll show you the orchard where I found it. In fact, if you guys are willing to help me trim the trees and get them back in shape, I'm thinking it could be a great place to plant even more food."

   "Deal," he said as Talia got up to fix dinner. She listened to the two of them chat about the orchard, the smile not leaving her face as they continued to laugh and joke with each other.

   That night, she lay in bed with Daryl, snuggled into his chest as she cried, but this time they were happy tears. "Why are you cryin'?' he asked as he rubbed her back. 

   "Because six months ago, I didn't think this was even a possibility. But I think she's finally healing. I think she's going to be okay."

   As spring entered full bloom, Alexandria took on several new residents, a group that said they had been traveling east from St. Louis. There were around ten of them, mostly family members who had been together since the beginning. They met with Rick outside of Alexandria, and after a thorough questioning, he brought them back for a trial run.

   Among them were several people that were good at hunting, and best of all, the leader of their group, Jeremiah, was a doctor. He had been a general physician in St. Louis, and was happy to take on the role for Alexandria. It would be the first person with any real medical experience since they lost Denise.

   Jeremiah's son, Keith, was put in charge of the pantry after they had been in Alexandria for a few weeks, freeing Tara up to go on runs. Keith was more than happy to take the job, having been an accountant in the old world. He was adept at keeping track of what they had and what they needed, providing Rick with a weekly inventory, which highlighted their most urgent needs.

   It was late spring when they received word that Maggie had finally had the baby, and they headed to the Hilltop while Gina was out on one of her runs. When they arrived, Carol and Morgan were there, waiting to greet them. The visit was bittersweet, seeing the newest member of their group, and knowing that Glenn never got to meet his son. But Maggie was strong, and she had the support of everyone in the Hilltop, including Rosita, Jesus and Sasha.

   Rosita seemed like a different person since she moved, and she appeared to finally be at peace. Talia found out that one of the reasons was Desmond, one of the men who helped at the battle of Alexandria. They were smitten with each other, and it showed in Rosita's whole demeanor. She now had a smile that could light up the room, and she greeted everyone with a big hug, even Talia, which surprised her.

   After the confrontation with Negan, they hadn't spoken before Rosita left, and they hadn't had much interaction since. But Talia was genuinely happy for her.  
  
   Maggie had named her son after her father, Hershel, and they were both healthy. Dr. Carson had done the delivery, having been returned to the Hilltop after the Sanctuary was freed. Talia and Daryl spent about an hour visiting before taking their leave to return home. The ride was quiet as Talia became lost in thought. So much had changed since last summer, and all of it good in her opinion.

   All of the communities were thriving, and everyone got along. It was a far cry from their previous interactions, and part of her was waiting for something bad to happen. They felt blessed, and she hoped it wasn't lulling them into a false sense of security. Shaking the morose thoughts out of her head, she saw that Gina was back when they pulled in.

   She was laughing and chatting with Keith just outside the pantry, and her eyebrows rose as she looked at Daryl. "Don't get any ideas in your head," he warned her as she shot him a look. "Leave her be."

   Muttering under her breath, they parked near the gates before walking over. "Hey," Gina said with a smile. "How's Maggie?"

   "She's great, and the baby is beautiful," Daryl said as they stood in a loose group. "How was this trip?" he asked as Gina glanced at Keith.

   "Follow me," she told them as she headed for her truck. There were two large coolers in the back, and she opened one up, looking prouder than Talia had ever seen her. Inside were dozens of fish, all salted and preserved.

   "What the hell?" Talia gasped as she closed the cooler to keep them fresh.

   "I found a couple that can trade with us," Gina said proudly as Daryl reopened the cooler to check again.

   "Gina, you don't know these people," Talia began as she rolled her eyes.

   "Do you think I just strolled up to them?" she snapped as Talia raised her eyebrows. "I watched them for days. It's just the two of them. They live in a little houseboat right on the water."

   "Are ya sure they don't have anyone else?" Daryl asked as he crossed his arms.

   "They had a group, but they were attacked about eight months ago," Gina told him, her face troubled. "They were the only two to get away, and they've been living alone since. They don't trust outsiders, and it took me two days to convince them to talk to me."

   "Can I go with you next time?" Daryl questioned as Gina shook her head.

   "Not right now," she said. "They're skittish, and I gave them my word that they would only deal with me. This is our chance for fresh seafood without having to get it ourselves, and also to have another ally."

   "Well, we gotta at least let Rick know," Daryl stated as Gina pulled the cooler towards the tailgate.

   "I've got no problem with that," she agreed as Keith stepped up to take the fish into the pantry to store it in the fridge. With a grunt, Daryl grabbed the other cooler, and the two men disappeared into the house.

   Talia didn't press, and she wasn't sure if Gina even knew what she had said. She had said _our_ , and _us_. She was finally talking about them as a group.

   The next day, Gina had updated Rick and Michonne, and he concurred with her that she continue to bridge relations with the couple on the sea, so Gina began to take more frequent trips, sometimes spending up to a week away, and always returning with a bounty of fish. On the days she was back she would help on guard duty, usually spending some time with Keith.

   So when she came home one balmy day with pink cheeks, Talia naturally pressed her for answers.

   "I'm having dinner with Keith tomorrow night," she said before practically running up the steps.

   Talia was still in her room when she heard Gina shout out from the hallway. "I'm heading out. Be back later."

   "Okay," she called back before sidling up to the window. Gina appeared a moment later, and she watched her sister head towards the pantry, saying a little prayer that the dinner went well.


	36. Chapter 36

**Gina**

 

   Gina opened the door and walked out of the townhouse towards Keith's. He had asked her twice previously before she finally agreed, and he'd offered to cook for her, insisting that she bring nothing but herself.

   Their group had arrived an Alexandria a few weeks before from St. Louis, heading east towards the water before being sighted by Aaron while out on a run. He'd brought them within a mile of the gates before securing them in an empty house and returning with Rick.

   Keith's father, Jeremiah, was a doctor, and the people traveling with them had seemed on the up and up, so Rick allowed them access to the community on a trial basis which had ended up becoming permanent. Gina hadn't spent much time with most of the men and women but encountered Jeremiah when she returned shortly after they arrived, having wrenched her arm while fighting off a walker.

   Rick had escorted her to the infirmary, where a distinguished older man with salt-and-pepper hair and wire-rimmed glasses greeted them. After making introductions, Jeremiah checked her out and wrapped her elbow tightly while she let Rick know that there were provisions in the back of her little truck, which she continued to drive even though there were better vehicles available. She had grown attached to it and worked with Daryl to keep it in shape.

   After providing her with some anti-inflammatories, she shook his hand and followed Rick back outside. It had started to sprinkle, and they worked quickly to unload the fruits that she picked from her orchard, and offered to take him to see if they could use the area to build up their crops.

   "I'm free tomorrow," he offered as they walked towards the pantry.

   "Great," she replied as they walked up the steps. "The bones are there," she told him, "we just need to beef it up a little. I was thinking we could hit the old library that's down the road for some pruning books."

   The door opened and a tall man with sandy blonde hair emerged, taking Gina's box with a smile. Startled, she glanced at Rick who cleared his throat.

   "Uh, Keith, this is Gina," he said as Keith extended his hand. "She's Talia's sister, obviously. This is Keith, Jeremiah's son."

   "Pleased to meet you," Keith said as he waved them into the house.

   "Likewise," she replied as she stood in the entryway. Rick followed behind him, and she trailed after as they walked through the kitchen into the garage, where most of the food was stored on big metal shelves. Rick and Keith set the boxes on the middle shelf as Keith pulled out a clipboard, marking the fruits down.

   "I see you've met my father," he said as he gestured to her elbow. "I hope everything is all right."

   "Oh, it's fine. I just got careless while I was picking these," she told him, flexing her arm. "I'll be right as rain in no time."

   After setting the clipboard back down, Keith turned to address Rick. "We're getting low on toilet paper and toothpaste in the non-perishable side. It also wouldn't hurt if we were able to find dried pasta and rice."

   Gina spoke up as she shifted her stance slightly. "We're going back to the orchard tomorrow," she told him as Rick looked at her. "I don't think it would be a problem to hunt around for some basics."

   Keith smiled at her as she gave him an unwitting grin in return. She noticed that he had bright green eyes, which crinkled up when he beamed at her. "That would be great. I'll get a count of how much of everything we could use, and if you want to drop by in the morning, I can have it ready for you."

   "Sure. I hope seven o'clock is not too early."

   "Not at all," he said as he let her walk back into the house first. When they reached the porch, he stuck out his hand, shaking hers gently. "Have a nice evening."

   Rick caught up to her as she headed home, and they walked together in silence until they reached his house. "I'll meet you at seven, then," he told her as he tried to hide a smile before jogging into the house.

   The next morning, she knocked on the pantry door, and it opened nearly immediately as Keith stepped out. His hair was mussed and he was dressed in a t-shirt and cotton pants. "Good morning," he said, giving her another brilliant smile.

   "Good morning," she retorted as she tucked her gun in the belt that sat low on her waist. "Sorry to get you up so early."

   "It's no problem," he assured her as he handed her an itemized list, which she scanned quickly, her eyebrows raising slightly at his attention to detail.

   "I was an accountant," he told her almost apologetically as she folded it up and tucked it into her pocket.

   "Well, that explains a lot," she said knowingly.

   "Hey, don't hold it against me," he joked, holding his hands up in the air.

   "Nah, I'm a very forgiving person," she said before dropping her smile. Negan's face popped into her mind at that moment, and she fought a wave of nausea. Keith sensed a change in her demeanor, and his went to say something until his eyes drifted over her shoulder, causing her to turn around.

   Rick was standing there, trying to cover his mouth as he yawned, and Gina gave Keith a half-hearted wave before walking down the steps towards him.

   She followed Rick to the larger truck that most Alexandrians took out on runs, and they climbed in as one of the gate guards whose name escaped her pulled it open.

   When she offered to take him to the orchard, she knew that Rick would try to talk to her about the events of the previous summer, so Gina was not wholly unprepared when he broached the subject after they left the library. She had managed to avoid the discussion since she arrived at the start of winter, but it couldn't be put off forever.

   "I just want you to know that the decision to take the truck to the Sanctuary has haunted all of us," he said quietly as she turned slightly towards the window, unable to look at him. "We only wanted to break free. I never intended for innocent people to get hurt."

   She thought about what she wanted to say very carefully, and her voice was measured as the spoke. "I understand, Rick, but I can't absolve you of any guilt any more than I can excuse the events that led up to it."

   "I don't expect you to," he said as he slowed the truck down to turn onto the highway. "And I can't imagine how hard it was for you to walk through our gates. It means everything to Talia that you're with her. With us. And I hope as time goes on that you'll begin to think of us as friends, if not family."

   "Negan saved my life," she said, finally turning to look at him as he kept his eyes on the road. "It was difficult for me to reconcile the man he was with others compared to the person he was with me. But I loved him, and I knew underneath all the rough, hard, sometimes dangerous edges that he was a man, just like you. He'd suffered losses, just like you. But he didn't have the people to support him, to keep him going like you. You're a lucky man, Rick."

  Rick glanced over at her briefly as she smiled sadly. "You were able to make a new family. I think that's all any of us want anymore. Just to surround ourselves with the people that love us."

   He seemed lost in thought as she peered back out the window, watching the now familiar scenery fly by in a blur as they got close to the orchard. After directing him briefly, they drove up the winding lane towards the old store, and she pointed out some of the trees that she left untouched, and the truck rolled to a stop in the leftover gravel that dotted the lane.

   The leaves of the peach trees were rustling in the summer breeze as Gina climbed the closest one, angling herself against the trunk as she began to pluck off the nearly ripe fruit, tossing them down to Rick, who caught them expertly before letting them drop onto a tarp that he had spread out. Once she pulled all that she could reach, she inched up higher, hanging onto the thick branches while grabbing another several before lowering herself back to the ground.

   They repeated the same drill over and over until the bottom of the truck bed was covered in peaches. Moving further into the property, Rick insisted on trying his luck at the plums, and Gina stood under him, dropping more plums than she caught, cussing outright as she kicked at them to get them onto the tarp. He finally climbed down, offering to switch places as she huffed at him.

   Rick called her down after they cleaned about a dozen more trees, and he tossed her some water as they sat on the hood of the truck.

   "These trees can produce even more after a good shaping," she told him as she tossed one of the plums up and down, letting it smack into her palm. Pointing out a cleared patch of land, she leaned forward. "All of this area is surrounded by fences, so we could plant here. Over by the store is an old barn with plows and tractors. If Daryl can get them running, we could set up a base here, have someone keep an eye on this place."

   "You're right," he said as she tossed him the plum, sliding down to the ground as he took a bite. "I'll talk to Daryl when we get back, bring him out here to take a look."

   As they pulled back onto the main road, he threw the seed out the window before catching the look on her face. "What?"

   "We could've planted that," she said, one eyebrow raised.

   "Oops."

   The sun was low in the sky when they returned to Alexandria, missing only a few items from the list. Michonne was waiting by the pantry as Rick echoed her earlier move, tossing her a plum. She caught it easily, giving them both a smile. "I take it you did well."

   "We were very fruitful," he said with a wink as Gina grimaced.

   "Well, that's my cue," she said as she left him to turn everything into the pantry. Keith came out as she passed by, and he gave her another warm grin as she scooted off.

   They fell into a little pattern when she'd return from runs, and he finally asked her to dinner a few weeks later. Her face dropped at first before she gently declined. She watched as his face fell slightly, but he brushed it off. Gina assumed that he wouldn't want to interact with her after that, but he was nothing but kind to her each time she saw him.

   After his third offer, she finally said yes. She felt it was time, and she knew that Talia was mere days away from broaching the subject. And now she found herself knocking on his door.

   Keith opened it wide, welcoming her in with a smile. He was wearing a pair of khakis and a white button down shirt, and his hair was brushed back off of his face.

   "Please come in," he told her as she stepped into the entrance area. With a gentle hand to her elbow, he led her to the kitchen, where the table was set for two.

   "I hope you like pasta," he said as he pulled out the chair for her.

   "Well, I am Italian," she replied with a laugh.

   "Great," he answered, feigning wiping sweat off of his brow. "I hope my legendary sauce lives up to your discerning palette."

   "Hmmm," she said narrowing her eyes. "We shall see."

   Keith came over with a large pot of spaghetti, scooping some out for her expertly before twirling it onto her plate. She had to admit that she was impressed. He did the same to his plate before setting the pot on the stove and coming over with the sauce. He added a generous amount to the white noodles, his and hers, before finally returning with some freshly baked garlic bread.

   "I'm afraid I don't have any wine to offer you, as the last bottle was taken a week ago."

   It's fine," she assured him. "In fact, I believe I left a few at the farmhouse, so I can get them for the next time. Are you a red or a white man?"

   "I love a good red," he replied as he sat across from her. There were fresh glasses of ice water accompanying them, and that was fine with Gina. "Sounds good."

   They chatted politely through dinner, and she asked him questions about St. Louis and his life there.

   "I was married, no kids," he said as he gave her a sad smile.

   "I'm so sorry," she said, dabbing at her mouth. "I never would have asked if I had known."

   "How could you?" he told her sincerely. "It happened very early on, and believe it or not, she went quickly, which was a blessing."

   After an appreciable silence, she decided to switch tactics. "So you were an accountant," she observed as he smiled ruefully.

   "I know, I know, the old nerdy numbers guy," he said with a grin.

   "Oh, no, that's not what I meant at all," she said, her cheeks beginning to burn. "I was just curious about it, that's all."

   "Trust me, there's nothing to be curious about at all. It's just numbers, and I happen to be good with numbers."

   They continued to eat, and Gina told him how much she enjoyed the sauce. In truth, it was very good. Keith seemed pleased, and when they were done with dinner, they made their way to the living room couch.

   Gina perched on her side as Keith tilted towards her. The conversation rolled on as he told her about how they left St. Louis and their trek east. The group figured if they could get to the ocean, there might be ships that they could live on, away from both walkers and dangerous people. It was sheer luck that Aaron had found them, and they were grateful to be included in a community such as Alexandria.

   The longer they talked, the closer Keith got to her, until he finally leaned his head in to kiss her. His lips were soft, and she let him continue for a moment before gently pushing him away.

   "I'm sorry," she said gently, "but I need to take this slowly. I don't know how much you know about me, but I'm coming out of a kind of traumatic situation, and I'm just starting to get past it."

   "It's fine," he said as he took her hand, placing it to his lips and kissing it gently. "Whatever speed you want to go is fine with me."

   The conversation resumed briefly before she set down her water. Sensing the date was coming to an end, Keith stood up and helped her to her feet. He walked her to the door, and she kissed him softly on the cheek.

   "I'm going on a run tomorrow," she told him, "but if I didn't scare you off, maybe when I get back we could try this again. Perhaps with wine and a movie?"

   "I'll be here," he said with a smile as she stepped out into the warm night air. With a little wave, she walked down into the street. When she was halfway home, a grin crossed her face, and for the first time since she arrived at Alexandria, she was happy for what was to come.


	37. Chapter 37

 

   Sitting at the farmhouse dining room table, Gina began to clear her head by jotting down her thoughts, trying to put them in a linear form. Being here for what was probably the last time felt bittersweet, but also cleansing. She and Negan had spent one night here together, and the rest of her memories of this place were tied up in sadness and regret.

   She had come to pack up the last of the wine, along with a few articles of clothing she left here in the winter when she thought she'd be returning. But this was it. The final time she'd walk through these rooms. A sense of finality had wrapped itself around her as she had walked through each room, gliding her hands over the furniture, straightening the pictures that hung on the wall, and hoping that someday someone would love this place as much as she did.

   When she was done, she folded up the paper, tucking it inside the last box left to load into the truck. Pushing in the chair, she carried the wine to the door, opening it with some minor difficulty before walking carefully down the steps and packing the box in the bed of the truck. After reaching in to lock the door, she shut it quietly before depositing the key back under the mat.

   It had been almost a week since she'd been back to Alexandria, having spent the time on the road and procuring more fish for the community. On her final night out, she decided to spend it at the house, which looked the exact same since she walked out of it eight months before, albeit more dusty. As far as she knew, Daniel had never returned, or if he did, he made sure there was no evidence that he was there.

   Tonight she was supposed to have dinner with Keith, and she needed to get home and get ready for the evening, so she pulled the truck around and backed up to the porch, driving away without looking back. To look back would only cement the change that had occurred in her life, the shift towards a new horizon. None of the last year still felt real to her, and she knew why. Because of him. Because they weren't together. Stamping out the thoughts quickly, she forced herself to focus on what was in front of her tonight.

   When she pulled up to the gates, there were two walkers trapped between the cars that lined the road, so Gina pulled to a stop and extracted her knife, coming up in front of where the cars met at their bumpers. The walkers tried to move through the metal, and as they reached forward, she stabbed each in the head. They fell forward before slumping back out of sight, and she wiped the blade on the long grass before tucking it back into her belt.

   The gate was opened by Eugene, and she drove through, parking near Keith's house. His door opened before she had even stepped out, and he greeted her with a smile.

   "You're back," he said cheerfully as she smiled.

   "I am."

  They walked to the bed of the truck, and he pulled her cooler out for her, setting it on the ground as she grabbed one of the boxes of wine, handing it to him.

   "These are for the residents," she told him as he nodded, "and these are for me if you don't mind." There was a smaller box that she pointed out in the corner.

   "Will any of that be accompanying you to dinner?" he inquired hopefully.

   "If you give me about an hour to get settled in," Gina said warmly, "the wine and I will join you for dinner."

   "Take as long as you need," Keith insisted as he carried the box towards the house. "I hope you like pork loin. Daryl and Terry were able to hunt down a wild pig."

   Gina was impressed as she started towards her house. "I can't wait," she told him honestly. "See you soon."

   As she headed down the street, she saw that Rick was sitting on the porch with Judith, and he waved to her as she passed. Unable to wave back, she nodded and smiled as she continued on her way. Talia happened to be walking out of the house with Daryl as she climbed the steps, so she held the door open for Gina, letting her walk in.  
Setting down the box carefully, she greeted her sister and Daryl as the three stood in the doorway. "You guys running off somewhere?" she asked.

   "Daryl wants to go to the orchard, so we're going to spend the night there. He's been working on one of the tractors, and thinks he's close to getting it running," Talia said, rolling her eyes.

   "And it can't wait until morning?"

   "This goddamned thing has been givin' me fits for days, and I think I finally got the part I need to get her humming. I wouldn't be able ta sleep unless I checked." Daryl shrugged his shoulders.

   "Alrighty, then," she said diplomatically. "Have fun."

   Talia only snorted as she shut the door, leaving Gina alone in the house. Shaking her head, she carried the box into the kitchen and set it on the table. Pulling out two bottles, she put them on the counter before jogging upstairs to jump in the shower.

   When her makeup was fully applied and her hair curled, she appraised herself in the mirror, looking at herself critically. Gina had dressed in a large white t-shirt that she belted low on her hips. A casual pair of black capris and black sandals completed the look. Deciding that she was done primping, she packed up her purse and slung it over her shoulder before descending the steps. She bustled around in there for a few minutes before putting the cork back in the bottle of red wine.

   Five minutes later, she was knocking on Keith's door with the bottle of red in one hand and a bottle of white in the other. He shouted for her to come in, so she turned the knob, sticking her head in. His face popped out from behind the kitchen wall as he urged her to enter. So she pushed the door closed behind her with her elbow before walking in.

   Keith was pulling the roast from the oven as she set the wine down, and he placed the platter in the middle of the table before giving her a chaste kiss on the cheek. "You look amazing," he said as he straightened up, and she smiled before looking down at her feet.

   "Thank you," she murmured. "You're culinary skills continue to impress. That smells delicious."

   "I hope you like it. I used an apple glaze to punch up the taste a little bit. It's not like we can just dress it up with anything these days."

   "I'm sure it's delicious," Gina replied as he pulled her chair out. "I hope you don't mind, but I opened the wine to taste it and make sure it was still good. It should still breathe for a bit, but it's fantastic."

   "Of course," he said as he went to the cupboard, pulling out two wine glasses and two regular glasses. The wine glasses he placed next to the wine, and the regular glasses he filled with water before sitting next to her.

   Keith sliced the roast, serving her a generous portion before adding some vegetables that he had put in the dish. They chatted quietly while eating, and he told her about what she had missed while she was gone. Apparently one of the members of his group, Chuck, had taken it upon himself to go out into the woods alone to clear a few walkers that had clustered there and been bitten on the arm. Jeremiah had been able to save him, but the arm had to be amputated, and Chuck was still in the infirmary.

  "I'm so sorry," she said as she pushed her plate away.

   "Oh, I didn't mean to upset you," Keith replied, frowning slightly.

   "You didn't," Gina assured him. "I guess it's easy to forget how dangerous they can be sometimes."

   Keith's face hardened, surprising her. "People do all kinds of things that the shouldn't. It was stupid of Chuck to try something so reckless."

   Gina's stomach began to churn, but his face cleared suddenly. "Sorry," he muttered. "It's just a pet peeve of mine when people do impetuous things."

   Her fingers clenched as she tried to brush it off. "Don't feel the need to apologize. It shows you care."

   The silence was oppressive until she stood up, clasping her plate in her hand. "Allow me to clean up."

   "You're my guest, Gina, I'll take care of it."

   "Please, you don't need to pamper me. I've never been that kind of girl. Besides, you cooked such a delicious meal, the very least I could do is wash the dishes."

   After another halfhearted attempt to help her, Keith finally packed up the leftovers before sitting back down and letting her reorganize the kitchen. The conversation continued as she washed and dried, and he directed her to where the dishes went. When she finished wiping down the table, Gina picked up the wine and carried it over to the counter with the glasses.

   Swirling the bottle around, she poured him a glass of the red before doing the same with the white for herself. Their fingers brushed as he took it from her and with a smile he suggested they move to the living room. Taking a sip, he hummed to himself before setting it down on the coffee table.

   "Does it meet with your approval?" she asked with a grin as he opened the media center, which was filled with movies.

   "I'm not a wine connoisseur, but it tastes divine," Keith answered. "Any suggestions?"

   "Something light and funny," she offered as she took a sip of the white. Running his hands along the titles, he pulled out an old Jim Carrey movie, holding it up as she nodded. After popping it into the DVD player, he sat down next to her as she crossed her legs. Leaning over, he picked his glass back up, taking a large sip as the movie began to play.

   Keith took her hand and ran his fingers over hers, just caressing them as he continued to drink. When their glasses were empty, she got up to refill them before sitting back down, slightly closer to him. He eventually put his arm around her, pulling her towards him, though he made no move to kiss her. Instead, he simply placed his hand gently on her hip.

   The sky darkened and the picture window reflected only blackness as she leaned against his chest, trying to keep herself calm. Halfway through the movie, she felt his arm slacken and she turned her face to see that his eyes were closed and his head was tilted back on the cushion, his mouth hanging open. With trembling fingers, she felt the side of his neck, relieved that his pulse was strong.

   "I'm so sorry, Keith," she whispered, but there was no response. As carefully as she could, she lifted his arm off of her, setting it against his thigh as she stood up. He didn't move an inch, the sleeping pills she had put in the wine doing their job. Gina took the blanket that was laying on the back of the couch and covered him up before slipping up the stairs.

   She opened three doors before she found his room, and went to his closet, grabbing a shirt and a pair of pants along with a pair of his boots. When she got back to the main floor, she checked to see if he was still out, and he hadn't moved an inch. Her heart was thundering in her chest as she walked towards the garage, but veering to the door just to the right. Opening it as softly as she could, she pulled the keyring off of the nail that was situated next to the light switch.

   With trembling legs, she flipped on the light before descending down the steps. Right off of the landing was a doorway, and she peered through, nearly bursting into tears when she saw him sitting on the bed that was behind the bars.

   "Gina?"

   Her hands were shaking so badly that it took her two tries to open the lock. He was still sitting on the bed when she swung the door open and walked in, dropping to her knees in front of him. He was staring in disbelief as she set the clothes and boots on the bed, her hands digging into his thighs as she began to cry in earnest.

   He was thin and pale and covered in a bushy beard, and he continued to look at her as if she wasn't real. Unable to take it any longer, she raised herself up, taking him by the face and burying him in kisses as he sat as still as a stone. Shaking his face slightly, she spoke in a broken voice.

   "Say something, please."

   His hands were still at his sides as she searched his face desperately.

   "How...how are you here? How did you get in here?"

   "I'll explain everything," she promised as she kissed his cheeks over and over. "But you need to get up. You need to get changed so that we can get out of here."

   "Out of here?" he asked uncomprehendingly.

   "Yes, we're leaving. Both of us."

   Negan finally lifted his hands, placing them on her shoulders as he looked down at her. "I can't leave, darlin'."

   Her breath came out in a rush. "What? What are you talking about?"

   "I deserve to be in here. I deserve to pay for what I've done," he said calmly as she climbed to her feet, looking at him incredulously. "I've spent the last I don't know how many fucking months thinking about what I've done. I've heard the sounds of kids laughing and people living their day to day lives, finally realizing that this world is better off without someone like me."

   Anger was bubbling up inside her like lava inside a volcano, and she was ready to blow at any moment. Before she could stop herself, her hand flew out, slapping him across the cheek with a resounding smack that shocked them both.

   "Get the fuck up off of that mattress right now and get changed."

   "No."

   Gina took a step forward, her fist clenching on its own as she towered over him. "You don't get to sit down here and hide from what you've done. You don't get to take the easy way out, not anymore."

   "How the fuck is this the easy way out?" he snapped, and she finally saw a little life in his eyes.

   "This is letting the past win," she said coldly as he glared up at her. "Did you kill people before the world went to hell?"

   "Of course not," he replied sharply.

   "Then you can live the rest of your life not killing people now," she said harshly. "Maybe you deserved to serve some sort of penance. But you're alive for a reason. Rick didn't kill you, maybe because he thought that you'd be worth something, I don't know. What I do know is that you're worth something to me."

   "Gina," he said before she cut him off.

   "Do you still love me?"

   His silence scared her for a moment until he stood up, a small smile playing across his lips. "I've never stopped loving you, Gina. I've thought about you every day, hoping that you were happy."

   She closed her eyes as she struggled to maintain a grasp on her sanity. "I've been living, Negan. Sometimes I've even found myself laughing or enjoying things. But I can't be happy without you. I can live without you, but I can't have a life without you. So please," she begged, " _please_ change your fucking clothes so we can start that life."

   Negan's fingers brushed her cheek as her lashes lifted, covered in tears. "How do you plan on getting us out of here?"

   She took a shuddering breath as he stripped off the shirt he was wearing. "Leave it up to me. I've been planning this for a while. Now, meet me upstairs, and be quiet."

   Backing up, she nearly fled the room, taking the steps two at a time until she reached the top. Keith was still unconscious, so she went back upstairs to his room, searching quickly for a baseball cap, and finding one on the top shelf of his closet. In his bathroom, she found a razor and clutched it in her hand before returning to the main floor.

   Negan was standing in the kitchen, and he had Keith's shirt and pants on. Bringing her finger to her lips, she led him to the bathroom. "You need to shave, and fast," she whispered as she shut the door behind them. He turned on the water to just a trickle, working at top speed to remove the beard as she bounced from foot to foot anxiously.  
After wiping his face, she tossed him the hat. "Put this on and follow me."

   Opening the door, she walked noiselessly through the hall and out into the living room, where Keith was laying. She could feel Negan's eyes on her, but she didn't look back, instead turning off the living room light and the tv. He didn't stir, so she went to the front door, opening it slowly so as not to make a sound. The porch light had never been turned on, so they stepped out and Gina closed the door behind them before taking him by the hand.

   Alexandria didn't have street lights, so the area was dark, with only the light from the moon to guide them. They walked slowly so as not to arouse suspicion. She held her breath as they passed Rick's house, but there was no one outside, though there were lights on in the lower level. Gina began to relax as they reached the townhouse, and she led him up the steps and into the building, closing and locking the door behind them.

   Negan stood in the hall as she jogged upstairs, grabbing a black jacket and her weapons belt before returning downstairs. Unzipping her purse, she pulled out the paper that she had stuffed inside it. Since she had forgotten to leave it in the cell, she placed it on the kitchen table, and Negan read it over her shoulder.

_Talia,_

_I'm so sorry for hurting you this way, but I have to be happy. Life is too short not to be so. I forgive you, and I hope that one day you'll see it in your heart to forgive me. I don't blame you or anyone here for the choices you've made. You probably did the right thing, and I know that this betrayal will hit you hard._

_I want you to know that this wasn't meant to hurt you or to get back at you. This is the only way I know how to do this without causing trauma. The time I've spent at Alexandria has only served to help me realize that your way is the right way, the only way we can survive. I wish that this was all I needed. And I want to promise you that I didn't do this for revenge, or to ever cause you any harm in the future._

_I love him as much as you love Daryl, and if there was any way for us to live together in peace, I would have never resorted to this. Please believe me that neither he or I will ever return for any reason. You, Daryl, Rick, Michonne and everyone else mean the world to me, and the fact that you accepted me as one of you made this so much harder for me._

_You will be in my heart forever. You are my other half. I love you._

_I love you always._

_Gina_

 

   Swallowing down the lump in her throat, she motioned for Negan to follow her out the back door. Moving carefully, she took them through the backyards of the townhouses until they reached the center square, where the sewer grate was. Negan bent down, lifting it with a grunt as Gina put her feet on the ladder, climbing down with sure steps. She watched nervously as he entered the hole, pulling the cover back with some effort.

   When he hit the ground, she led him through the tunnels after pulling out a small flashlight from her purse. The air was thick with must and decay, and they had to step over the grimy bodies of several walkers before the light began to filter in gradually. At the end of the tunnel was a set of bars that were locked with a chain. Sitting along the wall were bolt cutters that Gina had placed there days before, and Negan picked them up, popping through the links as she held them to keep them from rattling.

   She pushed the door open gradually to keep it from squeaking and popped her head out as she clicked off the flashlight. They were just outside the walls, and they needed to wait for the guard on duty to pass by. Listening closely, she waited for his steps to fade away before pulling Negan by the hand and running into the sparse woods that butted up against the back of Alexandria.

   In two minutes they were completely engulfed by the trees, and she turned the light back on as she followed the trail that she made when she did her practice run. After tripping once, Negan insisted on taking over. Rolling her eyes, she handed him the flashlight and he did marginally better than she did. Twenty long minutes later, they emerged into another grouping of houses, though they were all empty and abandoned.

   Now on familiar ground, she took him by the hand as they moved swiftly down a street that sat horizontally to Alexandria before making a right and doubling back slightly to a house in the middle of the second street. The old beat up Dodge was right where she left it, and she fished the keys out of her purse, unlocking both doors.

   The two of them climbed in, and Negan was surprised to see that the back seat was filled with supplies, including some of his clothes. Gina put the key in the ignition, and it started up, a little loud, but hopefully not enough to draw attention.

   Since they were back out under the moonlight, she left the headlights off as she began to slowly drive away from Alexandria. Closing her eyes briefly, she pictured the route they needed to take in her head and resumed driving. Making their way around the outskirts of Alexandria, she continued on until she was sure that they were far enough away not to be caught quickly.

   There was an old abandoned roadside motel about 45 minutes away from the community, and she pulled in their lot, turning the car around to make sure that they were facing out. After shutting down the engine, Gina realized that Negan hadn't spoken a word. Leaning the chair back, she turned to face him, and he was watching her with a look that she had never seen before.

   "Tell me," she whispered.

   "You risked everything for me. You left everything behind for me." He sounded mournful.

   She reached out and placed her hand on his cheek. "I told you, I need you to have a life. If they could've forgiven what happened and let us stay there, I would have. It's a good place, a place where everyone can be free and happy. Except for you. But I found us a new place."

   Gina leaned forward, pulling his face towards her so she could do what she waited nearly a year to do. She kissed him, softly at first, remembering the feel of his mouth against hers. He didn't reciprocate at first, which both scared and irritated her, but maybe he just needed time, because eventually, his hands found her face, and he moved even closer, letting his lips open up to her, reacquainting himself with her again. The kisses got more passionate, and when she finally broke free, she was breathless.

   Negan's chest was moving up and down as well. "We need to get some sleep, and then you're going to tell me how you did this."

   He leaned his seat back as well, and they linked hands in the moonlight, falling asleep together for the first time in nearly a year. It was uncomfortable but worth it.

 

 


	38. Chapter 38

   The sound of wet slaps pulled Gina from her sleep, she opened her eyes to find herself nose to nose with a walker. Its lips and teeth were smacking up against the glass as bony hands tried to curl themselves through the window. She sat up quickly, fumbling through the supplies in the backseat until she found her belt.

   Lifting it up, she pulled her knife out before lifting the lock and bracing her leg against the door. As she pulled up on the handle, Gina kicked the door with all her might, sending the walker sprawling backward as Negan sat up with a grunt. Stumbling out, she came alongside it, stabbing it in the head before it could get itself back up.

   Everything felt jerky and disjointed since she had woken from a sound sleep, so Gina left the knife embedded in the walker's skull while she tried to get her bearings. Yawning so widely that her jaw hurt, she stretched her hands over her head before bending over to loosen up her back. The car door slammed shut behind her, and she turned to see Negan leaning up against it, rubbing his face tiredly.

   It was just after dawn, and she walked over to him, wrapping her arms around his neck as she leaned against him, resting her forehead just below his ear. "Morning," she mumbled as he rubbed her back.

   "I could've taken care of that," he murmured, his voice dry and scratchy from sleep. She had missed hearing it so much that it actually sent a shiver down her spine.

   "I know that," she told him. "But it was on my side of the car, so I got to it first."

   She dropped her hands, pushing herself off of him to open the backseat door. Rummaging through the bags, she pulled out a smaller tote, unzipping in and producing two toothbrushes, and a small tube of toothpaste and a bottle of water.

   "Come on," she urged him as she pulled the brushes from their cases. "We've got a long ride ahead of us."

   He raised one eyebrow before taking the red toothbrush and holding it as she poured some water on it before squeezing a dollop of toothpaste on. After doing the same with hers, she brushed thoroughly before rinsing her mouth out. Negan took the bottle from her as she put everything back in the bag, tossing it in the back seat. He cleaned the knife for her before putting it in the front seat. Fishing around on the floor, she got them each a piece of fruit before climbing back behind the steering wheel.

   After adjusting her seat, she started the old car, feeling it rumble underneath her. Once they got back on the road, she bit into her peach, moaning with pleasure at how juicy it was. She ate it quickly as she concentrated on the road, making several turns as they headed towards their new home. As she threw out the pit, licking her fingers, she glanced over at Negan who was still holding his.

   "What?" she asked defensively as he watched her.

   "I need to know, Gina. What happened to you? Start from the beginning."

   With a sigh, she settled comfortably in her seat. Reliving the first few days after what happened wasn't going to be pleasant, but she reminded herself that he was here with her. "All right," she said, her shoulders slumping slightly.

   "I knew something had gone wrong when you hadn't returned by lunch. I felt it in my heart. In my gut."

   In a flash, she was back at the Sanctuary, reliving hell. Blinking twice, she finally noticed that Talia was on the ground next to her in front of the Sanctuary. Her sister was there on the worst day of her life. She was one of the reasons that it was the worst day of her life. Gina couldn't control the hatred that was burning through her eyes, and she saw Talia shrink back from her.

   Climbing to her feet, she took off through the cafeteria, pushing people out of the way so that she could get to the steps. She had to get upstairs before her energy ebbed away. A voice was calling her name but she didn't stop. Further and further up until there were no more steps to climb. Pushing the door open and walking down the hall to their room. But it wasn't their room anymore because he wasn't coming back to her.

   Gina was beyond crying. That would come later. Right now, in this moment, she was stuck somewhere between disbelief and denial. The life that she had known was taken away from her, and an overwhelming urge to flee took over, propelling her to the armoire, where she ripped it open, nearly tearing the door off of its hinges.

   The two black bags were stuffed into the bottom shelf, and she yanked them out roughly, flinging them onto the bed as she began grabbing clothes off of hangers, sending the plastic pieces flying into the air. His clothes, her clothes, she grabbed them all. Everything from the bathroom followed, all stuffed into the bags. She even took some of the books from the shelf, packing until they nearly overflowed.

   Using her knees, she managed to get them closed, and as she turned to pull them off the bed, she saw Dwight standing in the doorway.

  Gina couldn't even summon the will to scream at him, his betrayal burning so hard that it destroyed her ability to care what happened to him from this point forward. He walked towards her slowly, holding his hands up in a gesture of peace.

  "Please listen to me," he begged as she stared through him. "I know you hate me, and I don't blame you. But we had to end this before everyone lost their lives. He would've killed everyone in those communities rather than lose them."

   "Save your breath, Dwight," she said coldly. "I knew the kind of man you were when you let Dr. Carson burn alive. You're the worst kind of coward. Because you're weak, and you hide behind good intentions. But they're a lie, you see. You only care about yourself."

   "That's not true," he stuttered but she continued on ruthlessly.

   "Really?" she challenged as she advanced on him. "You came slinking back here because you couldn't make it on your own, and you sold your wife's body to save your soul."

   Dwight reeled back as if she had slapped him, but she couldn't stop. "Whatever his faults are, he didn't force that on you. Oh, Sherry may have _volunteered_ ," she taunted him, "but you let her. You let your wife suffer for your sins. So, I could give a fuck less what excuses you want to throw my way. You got what you want. Congratulations."

   Backing away from him, Gina pulled the straps of the bags, causing them to hit the ground. She dragged them around Dwight, who was still standing where she left him. As her foot hit the hallway, however, he spoke again.

   "He's not dead, Gina."

   Stopping dead in her tracks, she glanced back at him, and he was pale. "Rick didn't kill him. He's in a cell in Alexandria, and he's never getting out. Ever."

   The top of her scalp began to tingle as his words sunk in. "He's alive?"

   "He is," Dwight told her as he took a step forward. "Rick wants him to spend the rest of his life in that cell. Proof that you don't have to kill someone to protect your interests. And isolation will hurt him worse than dying a violent death."

   Gina struggled to take a breath as her hands shook. "God, I don't even know you at all."

   She had to get away from him before she killed him with her bare hands. The bags scraped along the floor as she hauled them behind her to the stairwell, letting them bounce down as she descended further into the factory. Gina stalked through the hallway to the cafeteria, weaving through people to the kitchen door. After pounding on it several times, it was finally opened by Scott, who seemed surprised to see her.

   "I need a cooler with food," she told him in a low voice. He started to shake his head, until she exploded at him, taking her frustrations out on the innocent boy. "Just get the goddamned food," she hissed at him as he shook slightly before scooting off into the back of the room. He returned ten minutes later with the rolling cooler, and she snatched it out of his hands before kicking a chair out of the way, sending it clattering to the floor.

   Rick was standing in the corner, unnoticed by her until that moment, and she locked eyes with him as he shook his head regretfully at her. She could only straighten her posture and march on towards the door as Dwight caught up to her.

   "Please don't do this," he begged her as he followed in her wake. But she was already gone in her mind.

   "Fuck you," she swore at him as she made the walk to her little pickup. "This is no longer my home."

   Talia approached them as well, begging her to come to Alexandria. To this day, she still didn't remember what she told her sister, but it gave her a perverse pleasure to see the hurt wash over her face. It wasn't much, but it was a taste of what Gina was experiencing.

  Once her things were loaded up in the truck, she took off without another thought, speeding out of the gates before the tears finally came. She only made it about a mile away from the Sanctuary before she had to pull over, bending over the steering wheel as she sobbed so hard that her chest began to hurt. It could have been minutes or hours that she sat there, she wasn't sure. But the day was coming to a close, and she needed to find a new sanctuary.

   There was only one place she knew that was safe, so she put the truck in drive and let her instincts guide her there. It was still beautiful, still serene as she pulled up in front of it. Unlocking the door, she dragged the only things she owned inside before kicking the door closed and locking it. The sun had already set, so she felt her way through the dimly lit house to the garage where she fired up the generator.

   The home hummed to life, and she set the cooler in the kitchen before taking the bags upstairs one at a time. Everything was sitting on the floor as she opened the balcony doors before flinging herself on the bed. Gina didn't even kick off her shoes as she curled up on her side, beaten down to her very soul.

   "I spent the next few days cocooned in the house, barely even eating," she said as Negan took her hand, bringing it up to his lips.

   "And then?" he asked as he laced his fingers through hers.

   "I had a dream about you," she told him as she slowed the car down to swing around an abandoned truck. "I was in this muddy field, and I was sinking down into the muck. It was like quicksand, and I was just letting it take me down until I saw you standing on the solid ground that was just out of my reach. You were angry, and you were yelling at me to pull myself out."

   Gina could feel him tighten his grip on her as she straightened the car out. "I was pleading with you to help me but you wouldn't. You told me, and I quote, 'Stop fucking around and get yourself together.' So I did."

   Once they cleared the car graveyard, she pulled off onto the side of the road to stretch her legs. They had been driving for two hours, and she needed to get some fresh air. After cracking her back, she did a few quick lunges before bending over and wrapping her arms around her calves as Negan went to relieve himself. When he returned, he held out his hand for the keys, and she dropped them into his palm before climbing into the passenger's seat.

   Without prompting, she continued to talk as he put the car into motion. "After that, I started to venture out again, looking for food and weapons. Preparing for what, I wasn't exactly sure at the time," she said honestly as she twisted towards him. "Until Talia showed up at my door in November."

   "November?" Surprise colored his voice.

   "Yes," she said, reaching over to run her nails up and down his neck, smiling when his eyes closed instinctively before forcing them back open to concentrate on the road. "She came to ask me to stay in Alexandria until the spring, and at first I refused. But she promised me that if I did and I wanted to leave after that, she wouldn't stop me. So I agreed, and arrived the next day."

   "I gotta say, sweetheart, I am surprised that you'd do it," he replied.

   "I was too, at first," she admitted as she continued to stroke his neck. "But it was a way to be closer to you, and frankly it was nice to be with other people. It took me a long time to become comfortable there, especially given the fact that they had you locked away. And my sister honestly tried to repair our relationship."

   "Gina, you don't have to try and rationalize your choices to me," Negan said as his hands tightened. "My stupid fucking choices were the reason you were in the position that you were."

   "I'm not rationalizing it, I'm just telling you," she argued lightly as she dropped her hand. "My original hope was that I could try to convince them to let you go. Or at least give you a chance, but given everything that went down, I knew the idea would have a snowball's chance in hell. So I dug in and waited for something, anything, really. And during that time, I found myself getting to know them."

   He smiled grimly as she reached back for a fresh bottle of water. "I have to say, it really sucked to realize that they're good people. They're strong, and they care about each other. Almost all of them didn't know each other before the world died, but they're a family. And they began to treat me like I was a part of that family, too."  
  
   Twisting the top off, she took a long drink before handing him the plastic bottle. The next exit was coming up, so she told him to get off the highway, and the next few minutes were spent directing him towards the next long stretch of road. Once the car was humming along again, he prompted her to continue.

   "So," she said, taking a deep breath, "I spent the spring making runs, taking guard duty, and trying to figure out how to get you out of that cell. And my big break came when Rick brought in a group from St. Louis that Aaron had found."

   Gina watched his eyes narrow as he tried to figure it out, but not offering up any words. "And?" he finally asked as she chuckled lightly.

   "I was on a run when they arrived, and when I returned, I met Keith."

   She could see it dawn in his eyes then, and she had to admit, it amused her greatly to see a slight spark of resentment on his face.

   "Oh."

   "You can't possibly be jealous," she teased as he ground his teeth together. "Negan, nothing happened between us, but I could tell he was interested, and I knew that was my way to you since he was guarding you."

   "I'm not jealous," he barked as her eyebrows rose. "I had no claim on you, so you were free to do whatever the fuck you wanted."

   "Listen, jackass," she retorted, "you had four wives when I met you, and you didn't even give them up until I asked you to, so lose the attitude."

   His fingers went up to the bridge of his nose, pinching it as she folded her arms across her chest. It took a lot of nerve to get sanctimonious with her given his past indiscretions and she knew damn well he was aware of that. But the rest of the conversation would have to wait as she clutched his arm, causing him to jam on the brakes.

  
   Directly in front of them was a large group of walkers, stretched across the road.

 


	39. Chapter 39

 

   Negan threw the car into reverse, backing up about fifty feet before turning it off.

   "Pop the trunk," Gina ordered as she opened the door quickly and jumped out. The latch clicked and she had it open in short order, pulling out guns for each of them that she had been stockpiling for several weeks. Each was loaded and several boxes of shells filled the small space, so she left the trunk open as she handed two over to Negan before jogging towards the approaching mass and planting her feet.

   Firing into the moving group, walkers began to drop to their feet as he stood a few feet away from her taking his own shots. When the group got closer, they took a few steps back, switching guns when the ammunition ran out. It cost them several rounds of precious bullets, but they finally got the block under a half a dozen, so Gina tucked the guns into her waist and switched to a knife, approaching one at a time so that she didn't get swarmed.

  Negan did the same, taking out four walkers to her two, and when the last one dropped, they stood surrounded by corpses, panting lightly in the summer sun. Looking around at the gruesome remains, she wiped her forehead without realizing that her hand was covered in blood.

   Extending his hand, Negan helped her over two of the bodies and guided her back to the car where they threw the guns back into the trunk. "That shirt is toast, darlin'," he pointed out as Gina looked down. Dark, greasy blood was spattered across it, so she lifted it by the hem, easing it carefully over her head and balling it up, tossing it over the top of the car towards the grass.

   "It was yours anyway," she said as he took another bottle of water and poured it over her hands as she rubbed them together, removing most of the blood. Negan took off his own shirt and tipped the water onto the fabric, wetting it and wiping off her head as she looked up into his eyes. His face was pale, there were lines creasing his forehead, but his eyes were still the same brown, and they still made her heart flutter in her chest.

   She felt her lips opening slightly as he leaned closer to her, concentrating on getting all of the blood off, but he was mere inches from her mouth, and she couldn't help tilting forward to kiss him, her fingers slipping into the belt loops on his pants and pulling him closer. Their stomachs met and Negan set the bottle on the hood of the car so that he could grasp the back of her neck, his fingers digging in slightly as her tongue swept across his top lip, causing his hips to push into her instinctively.

   It was only when the groan of an approaching walker broke through the trance she was under that Gina stepped back, licking her lips as he handed her the shirt. With quick strides, he raised his knife above his head, bringing it down through the top of the walker's skull with a loud crack. As she tried to get control of herself, she finished washing her hands before tossing Keith's shirt over the car as well.

   Two clean shirts later, Negan got behind the wheel again and they resumed their journey, rolling over the bodies that were strewn across the road. Gina propped her feet on the dashboard as she tried to will away the ache between her thighs. Cursing to herself for even starting anything, she vowed to keep her hands off of him until they were ensconced in their new home.

   He must have sensed that she was thinking about their destination because he spoke up again. "I don't know how much fucking further we're going, but you haven't finished telling me everything."

   "Right," she said as she placed her hands on her knees, rubbing them back and forth. "Where was I?"

   "You were telling me about that little dolt, Keith," he reminded her as she tilted her head back.

   "Right, so I had been making some runs, really just trying to find supplies. Mostly I was staying close to Alexandria, but I went back to the orchard at the end of the run and spent the last day picking fruit for the community. When I arrived back at Alexandria, Rick was there waiting for me."

   "Mmm-hmm," he muttered, though it wasn't laced with any animosity.

    "Now, obviously Tara had been overseeing the pantry, and you, so I was pretty surprised when he had walked out of the house," Gina continued. The sun dipped behind a cloud as they hit a long straight stretched of the road. "He helped us carry in all the food, and he was very nice, but he kept looking at me and smiling. Nothing overt, but enough for me to figure out that he might have an interest. But I wasn't sure until I kept seeing him after a few runs. Once I was  confident, I knew that I'd be able to get inside the house for extended periods of time, so it was time to figure out how to get you out, and also where the hell we were going to go."

   Her fingernails rubbed along the seams of her pants as she remembered the first long trip she took and the divine intervention that had happened.

   Gina knew that she and Negan wouldn't be able to stay anywhere nearby, and the brilliant idea had come to her to head back east towards the coast, closer to where she grew up. There had to be plenty of abandoned houses near the water, she assumed, and with the ocean nearby, they would be safe on at least one side, especially if there was a boat handy. So she approached Rick, informing him that she would be gone longer.

   "Do you really think that's safe?" he asked as she sat next to him on his porch swing.

   "I've been going out for a while now, and nothing's happened yet."

   "I know that, but you've also been staying nearby, where we've cleared routes between the communities. Anything further out than that is uncharted, and we don't know what kind of people are out there, not to mention the sheer amount of walkers that could be milling around," Rick reminded her, careful not to make any direct comparisons to the Saviors, though he definitely alluded to them.

   Gina stopped swinging, holding her legs up as she stared at her boots. "I need to do this," she explained. "This is how I handle being here." She didn't even need to say his name, knowing Rick understood.

   She let the words sit in his brain as she waited for his answer, though she knew what it would be after their trip to the orchard.

   "I trust you," he finally told her as she smiled at her boots. "I trust that you know what you're doing."

   Underneath the happiness was a twinge of guilt, but it wasn't enough to dissuade her. The next few days as she prepared to go out, she studied maps in secret, marking off the towns that she knew best, deciding to check them out first. She and Talia hadn't been there since the beginning, and it piqued her interest to see what had become of them.

   After loading up supplies for the road, Gina had made the daylong trek towards the Reedville area. It sat on the bay and was mostly a fishing village, filled with small streets that jutted off the mainland. The sun was setting as she made it about an hour outside of the area, so she found a small house just off the interstate, a tiny blue ranch house that sat alone on a dirt road. It had a little carport that she tucked the truck into before breaking the window of the back door and unlocking it.

   She spent the night on the old couch that sat in the living room, clutching her knife in one hand and the gun in the other. The next morning, she headed back down the road, watching carefully for any signs of life as she got closer to the town. She knew that she was onto something since the area had little to no walkers roaming around.  
When she got to the old post office, she pulled into the lot, parking between two abandoned cars. After locking the doors, she stuffed the key into her pocket and slung the black backpack over her shoulder that carried some essentials. Guns, ammo, a few cans of food, water, and two knives were tucked away in the bag as she slung it over her shoulder.

   Walking slowly, she looked at all of the buildings and houses for any sign of life, seeing nothing until she rounded the bend towards the old church. Seeing a large wall constructed just beyond it, she ducked back behind the museum, bracing her back against the brick building. She hadn't had time to see if there were any people guarding the wall, so she unzipped the backpack, pulling out one gun and tucking it into the back of her pants.

   Gina tried to think of the best way to approach the wall, and she leaned her head back against the building with her eyes closed as she contemplated the different scenarios. She needn't have bothered, since she heard the sound of a gun cock, causing her to lift her hands in surrender before she even opened her eyes.

   When she did, she saw a man and woman flanking her on either side, each one holding a rifle which they pointed at her head. Her heart was pounding in her chest, but her face remained even as they took a step forward in unison.

   "Are you armed?" the man asked, putting his finger on the trigger of his gun.

   "I am, for safety reasons," she said calmly, keeping her arms up. "But I'm not here to hurt anyone."

   "Turn around," the man ordered, and she followed his directions, placing her palms flat against the building. Hands made their way from her armpits down to her ankles before patting down her back. When he felt the gun, he pulled it out from her waistband as she kept as still as possible.

   "What are you doing here?" the woman asked as she looked at the bricks, closing her eyes briefly.

   "I'm just looking for someplace safe, that's all. I grew up not far from here, and I thought I'd come back around this way to see if there were any homes near the water that were in good condition."

   "You can turn around now," the man said as she twisted herself back towards them. The three watched each other warily as Gina kept herself calm and still. She knew deep down that saying anything at this moment could turn the tide against her. So she left the ball in their court.

   The man and woman glanced at each other briefly before seeming to come to some sort of decision. Reaching into her back pocket, the woman produced a piece of black cloth and ordered her to once again turn around. Following her directions, Gina closed her eyes and felt the cloth slip around the top of her head, pulling her hair slightly when the woman tied it securely.

   Hands took her by the elbows, leading her forward, and she allowed them to take control, fighting the urge to lash out since she was no longer in a position of power. They walked several paces, and the woman ordered someone named Jack to open the gate. The sound of metal grinding met her ears and they resumed their pace. Once they cleared the wall, she could hear the murmured voices of the residents as they made their way along the main street.

   Since she was unable to see, she searched her memories, bringing up fragmented pictures in her mind of the road they were on. Gina remembered visiting this town a few times when they were in school, mainly to visit the museum that she had just been taken from. It was a quaint little town that sat on the bay, and most of the houses on this little peninsula had docks, storing little family boats, but there was also a public dock that sat on the outer corner.

   As they got closer to the water, Gina could smell the sea, salty and cool, and the breeze washed over her skin while it lifted her hair from her shoulders. Suddenly, they veered with her to the right, marching her inside a building and placing her in a straight-backed chair. She sat with her hands in her lap until the blindfold was removed, and Gina blinked in the sudden light as she took in the room.

   They were in an office, plain, with only a wooden desk, an office chair and a utilitarian bookcase that was sparsely populated with ledgers. The man and woman were positioned on either side of her, and she looked at them questioningly until the door to the left opened, and another woman entered, placing herself behind the desk with fluid movements.

   Gina studied her as the woman did the same to her. She appeared to be in her fifties, and she had dark, smooth skin and closely cropped white hair. Her eyes were a pale brown, and she linked her hands together as she placed her elbows on the desk, waiting patiently for Gina to finish evaluating her. Without breaking eye contact, she spoke to the woman, and her voice was warm and mellow.

   "Annabeth, you may return to your duties."

   Gina saw Annabeth nod slightly before exiting the room, and she glanced quickly at the man, who continued to hover just to the right of her. The man held up Gina's backpack, placing it on the desk in front of the unnamed woman. "Thank you, Devin."

   She continued to study the woman as she unzipped the bag, pulling out each of the items inside and placing them in a row on the desk. When everything was accounted for, the woman finally returned her gaze.

   "What is your name, child?"

   Gina's first instinct was to bristle at being addressed in that manner, but something told her that this woman spoke to everyone this way. There was a steely maternal quality to her that commanded respect, so she bit back the resentment at being called a child and told her.

   "My name is Gina."

   "And tell me what brought you to our walls, Gina?" the woman asked.

   Her voice was measured as the replied. "As I told your man, Devin, I'm looking for somewhere safe to live."

   The woman's mouth quirked up in amusement. "You don't appear to be malnourished, nor do you seem to be lacking in supplies. You already have a home, I'm guessing."

   "I never said I didn't," Gina told her as she leaned back slightly.

   To her surprise, the woman leaned over, extending her hand. "My name is Jerika."

   Gina shook her hand, which was strong and slightly rough. Jerika was a woman who worked hard, and most likely did just as much to keep this place running as any man did.

  
   "You have a story to tell, Gina, and I'd very much like to hear it."

   This was the make or break point, and Gina knew it. Jerika was clearly intelligent, and there was no way she'd believe some sob story, so the truth was in order, more or less. So she decided to start from the beginning.

   "My sister and I were together from the beginning," she said as she crossed her legs. "She and I were afforded some luxuries when we were growing up which benefitted us tremendously when the sickness began. I'm not talking about money or material things, I'm talking about skills that we acquired due to a very protective father. And because of those skills, we were able to navigate this new world alone for the first year and a half or so. But due to circumstances beyond our control, we were separated," she said as she took a deep breath. "Suffice it to say, I watched her get shot, and for a long time, I thought she was dead."

   Jerika leaned forward slightly as Gina smiled sadly. "I was taken captive by some very ungentlemanly guys, but before any real damage could be done, I was saved by another group of men, one of whom would become my husband."

   Nodding towards one of the bottles of water, Jerika pushed it towards her and she untwisted the top, taking a drink before continuing.

   "My husband had a community, and he led this group from almost the very beginning. There were other communities near Alexandria, and for several months after my arrival, things continued on an even keel. But another leader soon took over one of the groups," she said with a rueful chuckle, "and the situation changed."

   Gina ran her hand through her hair before placing it on her knee. "Unfortunately, it escalated, and we soon found ourselves in a battle, I guess you could say. Now, my husband is a proud man, and despite my misgivings, he continued to try to bring some control to the state of unrest."

   Jerika's eyebrows rose, but she didn't interrupt.

   "It was only by chance that I found out that this group included my sister." Devin shifted himself slightly beside her and her shoulders slumped. "I did what I could to try to diffuse the tensions between our communities, but it was too late."

   Gina let the true emotions of the past come to the surface, and her eyes became glassy as she stared at the bottle of water. "They ended up wiping out most of our men, and they took my husband as a prisoner. It nearly killed me."

   "I imagine so," Jerika replied softly.

   "I spent the next few months alone, trying to come to terms with the fact that my sister Talia was complicit in the loss of everything I held dear. I know she felt like her community did the right thing, and had I been on the other side of it, I may have even agreed with it. But last winter, she found me. She begged me to come to Alexandria, their settlement, just for the winter. Talia promised me that if I just stayed with them for a few months, she would let me go if I chose. So I agreed."

   Taking a deep breath, she focused back on the woman in front of her. "Now here is the funny part. I got to know them. And they are good people. They've made mistakes, but who among us hasn't? I tried to keep my distance from them, but I couldn't. I saw that they were just trying to live the best way they knew how. But," she said woodenly, "they still have my husband locked in a cell."

   "So I find myself at a crossroads. I can't live there with my husband shut away from the world, and I can't do anything to hurt my sister. All I want is to free my husband and live in peace."

   Jerika's face gave away nothing. "So you plan on getting him out and skipping town, so to speak."

   "Pretty much. I just want to start a new life. With him."

   Jerika stood up and turned away from Gina, facing the window. She was silent for several minutes as she watched one of their boats pass by slowly. "I'm not entirely sure why you feel I would let you live here given the story you just told."

   "I would never presume to know what you're thinking, but my impression of you is that you are a straightforward woman, and I think you know I've told you the truth," Gina replied as she turned back around. "I could've told you any bullshit story, a real doozy of a story in fact, but that's not my style."

   "No," Jerika said with a sigh, "I don't believe it is. But I don't know if I can trust you."

   "Well, I could've taken Devin out about five times already, but I haven't. I could have killed Devin and Annabeth behind the museum as well. But I didn't. I just want a chance to prove to you that I can be an asset to your community."

   Devin stood over her with his gun, scoffing, until Gina brought her elbow into his gut, causing him to bend over short of breath. She was out of her seat in a second, twisting his wrist to get him to drop the gun and pulling him to the floor where she had him lying prone on the ground and his gun in her hand.

   Looking up at Jerika, she could see the woman watching her without fear and Gina immediately let Devin go, pulling him up to his feet and handing him back his gun. He was watching her angrily as she took her seat again, folding her hands demurely in her lap.

   "I only want to find a place that I can be safe. I want to contribute."

   Devin was shaking his arm to loosen it up and Jerika kept her eyes on Gina.

   "Devin, you may leave us."

   With a look to Gina, he stomped to the door, closing it loudly.

   "Sorry," Gina muttered. "Men don't seem to like it when I do that."

   Jerika chuckled, surprising her. "You don't have to tell me. It bruised quite a few egos when I took over this place."

   "I imagine so," Gina said with a conspiratorial grin, before becoming serious. "I just want security, and to be able to help. That's all I want and I'd be grateful if you'd be willing to give me a chance while I figure out how to get my husband free without causing any drama or damage to the people I've actually come to care about."

 

   Gina looked over at Negan as he drove, his eyes narrowed in concentration as he ruminated over her words.

   The sun was coming down and they were still two hours away, so they decided to pull off of the road for the night, and show up early in the morning.

   As they tilted the seats back, they faced each other for the second night. "So they gave you a chance," he said as he stared at her, running his fingers along her cheek.

  
   "I'll tell you the rest tomorrow," Gina replied as she leaned over to kiss him goodnight. "It's our last night on the road, and the last time we should have to sleep in this shitty car, so let's enjoy it."

   Grasping his hand, she snuggled it to her chest. "Goodnight, love," she said in a sleepy voice as her eyes began to close.

   Good night, wife," he whispered, though she didn't hear it.


	40. Chapter 40

   The rain came down steadily as Gina drove slowly towards Reedville. They were only around an hour away, and she struggled to concentrate on the road. The windshield wipers were shitty on the old Dodge, and they left wet streaks along the glass, leaving the view blurry. Since the conditions were so spotty, Negan hadn't pressed her about the rest of her story. In fact, he hadn't spoken much at all.  
She glanced quickly over at him, and he seemed to be lost in thought. Debating on whether or not to just let him be, Gina finally decided to speak up. "Penny for your thoughts?"

     He blinked rapidly before flashing her a smile that didn't reach his eyes. On the surface, he appeared completely unconcerned, but she could tell something was brewing inside him. So she pulled off onto the side of the road, putting the car in park. Lifting her right leg, she twisted to the side so that she could give him her full attention.

   "Talk to me," she said quietly as he gazed at her. His face gave absolutely nothing away, but he wasn't acting like himself. Leaning her head against the seat, she waited as it started to become a battle of wills. This was a man who bounced back from nearly everything that was thrown at him in the time she'd known him, so for the life of her, she couldn't figure out what was going on with him. But when he spoke, his words shocked her thoroughly.

 "I don't think I can do this," he said as he maintained eye contact with her.

   "Do what?" Her voice was steady but inside a trickle of fear began to grow in her stomach.

   "This," he repeated, waving his hand around the car before gesturing to the road. "Put myself in the middle of another community."

   It felt like someone had poured sawdust into her mouth as Gina struggled to form words. "And why don't you think you can do it? I'm afraid you'll need to elaborate."

   "Because I'm not built for this," he replied with a hint of sharpness. "I know who I am, and I was never cut out for domestic life."

   "Okay," she said slowly as if she were trying to form words under water. "So, two days ago you wanted to be left in your cell to rot away, and now that we're an hour from this community, you don't want to go. I'm going to need a little more to go on than 'I'm not built for this'."

   Anger flashed in his eyes and he turned to face the front of the car. "I was always the guy that made the decisions. I ran things. Now I've spent the past year all alone, and here you come to my rescue," he said bitterly, "and you've got our entire lives planned out in some fucking fish town that I know nothing about."

   Gina stared blankly as she nodded her head. A huff of laughter escaped her lips as she closed her eyes. "This is perfect. Just perfect."

   "You asked what I was thinking," he said coldly as she turned to face forward. "You wanted to know. You barged into my cell, and you didn't leave me a choice."

   Clicking her tongue against her teeth, she shook her head as she restarted the engine. "You're right, I did want to know. So thank you for that. And thank you for helping me see things more clearly."

   Turning the wipers as fast as they could go, she pulled back onto the road, driving as quickly as she dared. Shock and anger were battling in her brain at the moment and she wasn't sure which would win. God, she was so stupid. Stupid for thinking what they had was real. And stupid for thinking it could still be alive after the past year.

   He would never change and she was just too dumb to see it. How on earth could love, her love, change this man? Laughter bubbled up again and this time she let it out fully. A tale as old as time, she thought.

   She began to drive faster, weaving through abandoned cars and around curves. She could feel Negan hanging on to the door to steady himself, but she continued at the same pace. "Gina," he said angrily, but she ignored him, continuing to try to get to Reedville as quickly as possible.

   "Slow down," he ordered her in a serious voice, but she maintained the same speed. He wasn't in control of her, and that's what pissed him off the most, she realized right then in that moment. It all came back to the Sanctuary. The decisions were all his, and she went along with them. But now, she had been in charge. And why? Because he went and got himself captured, leaving her to pick up the pieces of her life. A life that she assumed that he wanted to share with her. But she was wrong.

   Gina did everything. She was the one that went to Alexandria to try to move on and be closer to him. She's the one that went on runs. She's the one that found a community. And she's the one that rescued his sorry ass. Apparently, that shouldn't have been in her job description.

   "Gina, I said slow down," he yelled, but she flipped him off without looking at him.

   "This is my fucking car, my fucking gas, and my goddamned supplies that I've spent the last several months putting together. So I'll go as fast as I fucking want to get to Reedville."

   "You need to grow up," he said bitterly, looking at her like a stranger.

   Gina slammed on the brakes so hard that he flew forward, smacking his hands on the dashboard. She pointed her finger in his face and her voice was icy. "You are in no position to tell me to do anything. This community is safe and they agreed to take us. But since you're not _cut out for it_ , you're free to keep the Dodge and move the fuck along. Got it?"

   Before he could say any more, she jammed on the gas and threw some old cd she found in the glove compartment, turning it up full blast. The anger was making her shake uncontrollably, and she refused to look at him. In the span of ten minutes, she'd gone from excitement to finally start a normal life with Negan to being told that it wasn't in his plans. That he just didn't see it.

   After one song played, Negan reached over and turned the music off, but she kept her eyes on the road. Lighting exploded overhead, causing her to clench the wheel tightly as she prayed to reach the walls soon. She had to get away from him, to not see the coldness on his face anymore. Underneath the anger, the sting of rejection and betrayal was building, and Gina knew she wouldn't be able to hold it in much longer.

   They were just on the outskirts of town when he finally spoke again, and his tone was nonchalant. "Believe me, I'm doing you a favor by telling you now instead of six months from now. Sometimes love just isn't enough."

   "What could you possibly know about love?" she said quietly. "You've never loved anyone more than you love yourself. You even told me that. You couldn't even treat your wife with the respect she deserved."

   "My first wife-"

   "No, your only wife," she continued over him. "You've had one wife. The rest of the women in your life were props. We weren't partners with you, we weren't your equals. You just put a fancy name on your concubines."

   "Darlin', you weren't-"

   "My name is Gina. It's not darlin', it's not sweetheart, it's not baby, not doll, and it's certainly not wife," she hissed as he snorted.

   "Love," she muttered. "Love is worrying how the choices you make affect others. Love is the ache in your heart when the person who means everything to you is taken away from you. Love is doing the impossible for them, even when it strips a bit of your soul away. Love is picking up the pieces of your shattered life and trying to put them back together."

   Negan opened his mouth and she held her hand up, but this time her voice was strangled. "Don't speak," she begged as she wiped her eyes. "Just don't."

   The walls finally came into view through the wind and the rain, and she slowed to a crawl as she passed the museum. When the looming metal structure was about twenty feet away, she turned in a circle before reversing towards the gates, bringing the car to a stop just inches from it. Gina could see them open in the rearview mirror, and she pushed the button to pop the trunk before lifting the lock on her door.

   Negan placed his fingers on her wrist to stop her and she turned towards him with red eyes. "Let me at least help you bring your things in."

   "You've done enough," she said as she shook her head, pulling her arm from his grasp. Opening the door, she stepped out into the pouring rain and opened the rear door, pulling her bags out and leaving his things on the seat. Hefting them over her shoulder, she walked to the trunk, taking a few guns and boxes of ammunition.

   Slamming it closed, she saw that one of the guards had come out with his gun drawn, watching Negan warily as she walked towards him. Recognition dawned in his eyes when he saw Gina, and he took the weapons from her hands.

   Negan called her name, but she kept going, following the guard through the door. A few seconds later, she heard the car door slam and the sound of the engine revving. The guard said something to her, but she couldn't hear his words through the wind and rain. Wet drops stung her skin as she made her way down the street.

   Halfway to the public dock, a figure in a yellow raincoat came hurrying out of the largest house, holding up an umbrella. It was Jerika, and she led Gina by the shoulder down three more houses to a two story Victorian. She was pulling Gina urgently, but her feet wouldn't move any faster. Jerika fished a key out of her pocket and unlocked the door, ushering into the house.

   She stood just inside the door, staring blankly as Jerika pulled her bags off of her shoulder, setting them on the rug. Cool fingers gripped her cheeks as Jerika forced Gina to look at her.

   "Why are you alone, Gina?" she asked gently.

   She opened her mouth, but nothing came out. She just watched as Jerika's eyebrows knitted together and her mouth flattened into a fine line. Releasing her face, she took Gina by the hand, tugging her gently. "Come on, child, before you catch pneumonia."

   Each step that she climbed corresponded to the pounding ache in her heart, and by the time they reached the second floor, she could barely swallow. Jerika guided her down the hall to the master bedroom and left her standing in the middle of the room as she entered the bathroom. The shower kicked on and Jerika returned, forcing her gently into the bathroom where she told Gina to get into the shower and clean up.

   Her hands felt like stone as she pulled her clothes off, leaving them in a wet pile on the tile floor. The water was warm, but she stood underneath the spray shivering as she replayed his words over and over in her head. He didn't want to be with her. He didn't want a life with her. He wasn't built for this. He only wanted her at the Sanctuary where he had all the power and control.

   Everything she ever believed about him was a lie. He was the dark prince and he had only wanted to take over the world. She was a distraction, something to pass the time between community visits. She couldn't even think his name, it hurt so much.

   A hand poked through the shower curtain with soap, which she took with shaking hands. Shampoo and conditioner followed, and she set them on the ledge as she moved unthinkingly to clean herself. When she was done, she fumbled with the knob, turning it off after nearly scalding herself with hot water. As she opened the curtain, she saw a fresh towel hanging on the rack and a neat pile of clothes sitting on the vanity.

   After dressing, she wrapped her head in the towel and walked back into the bedroom to find Jerika holding a steaming bowl in her hands.

   "Whose house is this?" Gina asked in a cracked voice as Jerika jerked her head towards the bed.

   "Yours," she replied.

   "I can't stay here," she said dully as she climbed onto the bed. "It's too big for just me." _Alone_.

   "We'll discuss that tomorrow," Jerika replied with an air of authority. "Right now you need to eat this soup and get some rest. This storm is going to go on all day and night by the looks of it. We'll have plenty of time to talk later."

   Perching next to her on the bed, she handed Gina the bowl. It was filled with vegetables and broth, and Gina ate it mechanically. She had no appetite, but she knew if she didn't Jerika would probably hover over her, and she wanted nothing more than to be by herself. _Alone_.

   When she had drained the bowl, Jerika took it from her hands and left the room, returning a few moments later with some water that she placed on the antique night table that sat next to the bed. She unclipped a two-way radio from her belt that Gina hadn't even noticed and put it next to the water.

   "Call me if you need anything and I'll come to you. Otherwise, I'll see you in the morning."

   Gina nodded as she stepped out, closing the door behind her. With her last remaining energy, she tossed the towel into the bathroom and pulled down the quilted bedspread, sliding underneath the covers and rolling to face the large window that sat parallel to the bed. It was covered by white sheer curtains, but she could see the rain coming down, punctuated by occasional flashes of lighting, followed by rolling thunder.

   It took several hours for her eyes to close, and she was blessed with a dreamless sleep. When she woke, she was in the same position, and her body was aching. Gina rolled onto her back, rubbing her hip as it dawned on her that it was daylight. Unsure if it was the same day or the following morning, she rose slowly, walking on bare feet to the window and parting the curtains with one finger.

   The sun was shining brightly on the town, causing a slight glare as the rays reflected off of the wet surfaces. There were a few people milling about, and she headed back out into the hall and down the steps. With unsure steps, Gina walked around the main floor to the kitchen, which had black and white tiles and cherry cabinets. There was a window over the sink and she looked out into the backyard, which led out to a dock.

   Unlocking the back door, she opened it and the smell of sea water filled her senses. The water was churning from the storm, and the sounds of it splashing up against the wooden dock posts were strangely relaxing. Walking through the cool, wet grass, she took a tentative step up onto the dock. It was steady under her feet, and she made her way to the end of it, sitting down on the wet boards as she swung her feet back and forth.

   The air was soothing, and she stared out at the dark water as seagulls flew overhead, some dipping into the water as they searched for food. Her vision started to blur, and she finally allowed herself to process the pain. Bent over, she started to sob, wrapping her arms around her chest as her heart throbbed. It was only when a warm hand touched her shoulder that she looked up to see Jerika squatting down next to her.

   "Tell me what happened."

   In a pained voice, she could only manage a few words.

   "He broke my heart."

 

 


	41. Chapter 41

  
**Talia**

 

   After climbing down from the plum tree, Talia bent down to pick up her bottle of water, taking a large gulp before tossing it back to the ground. She had spent the last several hours picking fruits by herself and tossing them down onto a tarp while Daryl continued to work on the tractors in the barn. He had repaired two chainsaws that were hanging on large metal hooks the day before, and was now concentrating on the larger pieces of equipment.  
Talia had spent the off hours studying the pruning books that Gina and Rick had brought back to Alexandria, and she looked forward to discussing them with her sister. She had been ambivalent about coming to the farm, but after seeing the possibilities, her excitement had grown. She and Gina had come here as children, and with the majority of the orchard intact, it would be a great place to fortify their food supply.

   Talia had spent the off hours studying the pruning books that Gina and Rick had brought back to Alexandria, and she looked forward to discussing them with her sister. She had been ambivalent about coming to the farm, but after seeing the possibilities, her excitement had grown. She and Gina had come here as children, and with the majority of the orchard intact, it would be a great place to fortify their food supply.

    She and Daryl had discussed sending groups out to find all the fencing supplies in the area to secure the lands, and there was still time to plant vegetable seeds this summer according to the books. The old store still had hundreds of seed packets that had been overlooked by whomever had cleaned it out of supplies. If Daryl was able to get the tractor running, they'd be able to clear some of the open grassy areas and have some more crops by fall. The gardens in Alexandria were producing, but they were small, and with all the extra bounty, they'd be able to can for the winter.  
 

    Gina had always had a green thumb, so Talia assumed she would take the lead on this project, though she'd love to be a part of it in between guard duty. She had no intention of giving that up, knowing that their security was one of the top priorities. When she and Daryl had arrived at the farm, they had spent the evening in the store, but the next day as she explored the grounds, she found a small house at the very edge of the property.

   The front door had been broken, and the inside was a shambles, but the foundation was good, and with a little elbow grease, they'd be able to get it into shape, allowing someone to stay on the property full-time. After checking it thoroughly, she had dragged Daryl to see it, and though he had grumbled about the state that it was in, her excitement started to bleed into him, and he pointed out several repairs that he could make to get it up and running. The farm was equipped with several wells, and the only thing they would have to figure out was if they could hook up generators to have electricity.

   Dragging the tarp over to the truck, she placed the fruits carefully into wooden crates that had been stored in the barn. They were leaving the next morning to head back to Alexandria, and she started back for the barn, driving slowly over the bumpy gravel. As she got closer, Talia could hear the sounds of the tractor firing up, and a smile formed on her lips. She knew that Daryl would be ecstatic. Once he put his mind to something, there was no way he'd quit until the job was done.

   Backing the truck into the shade, she stepped out and walked through the large opening to investigate. Daryl was standing on one of the large tires leaning over the engine, tightening something as she approached. As he saw her out of the corner of his eye, he reached over, turning the tractor off.

   "Is there anything you can't do?" she asked with a smile as he jumped down, wiping his hands on his shirt.

   "Plenty," he replied as he kissed her on the lips. "I think we're good to go on this one."

   "It's a great start," she told him as they walked back towards the truck. The sun was setting, and he closed the barn doors before climbing into the truck with her. They made the slow ride back to the store, and she hummed softly to herself as she lowered the visor to keep the sun from blinding her. As she parked the truck, Daryl hopped out, pulling the tarp over the fruit before digging his hand back in, taking several pieces of fruit for them to eat.

   There were several pails of water that Daryl had pumped from the well outside the store, and the next few minutes were spent cleaning up from the day's work. Passing the soap back and forth, they washed the dirt and oil from themselves as best they could, and Gina dumped it outside when they were done. Once back inside, she shut the door tightly before blocking it with the display stand that was sitting next to the cash register.

   Once she made her way back to the rear of the store, she settled down onto the sleeping bag that Daryl had spread out for them. He handed her a plum, and she ate it quickly, washing it down with the water they brought with them from Alexandria. Tossing the seed into a trash can that they found, she settled on her side, resting her head on her arm.

   "How do you think Gina's date went?" Talia asked curiously as she watched Daryl start on his second peach.

   "Whatever happens, don't pressure her," he warned her in between bites.

   "I'm not going to," she replied defensively as she frowned at him. "I just think this is a big step. She hasn't so much as looked at any man since she came to Alexandria."

   "Well, it's not like she has much of a selection to choose from," he responded as his eyebrow rose.

   Talia couldn't help but laugh. They weren't exactly flush with eligible men in their community, though Keith and some of the men from his group were certainly in Gina's age range.

   "Keith is a nice guy, and he's good looking," she argued as he slid himself down onto the bag, turning to face her.

   "No offense," Daryl said diplomatically, "but from what you've told me, your sister doesn't exactly seek out the nice guy."

   Talia sighed as she looked at him. "I know," she muttered. "But maybe she's finally hit the point that stability will mean something to her."

   Daryl reached out to her, running his finger along her arm as his eyes narrowed. "Has she mentioned Negan at all since she's been at Alexandria?"

   Shaking her head, Talia took his hand in hers. "Not to me, and I'm certainly not going to bring it up."

   "It can't be easy on her livin' so close to him," he observed as she grimaced slightly. Letting go of his hand, she pushed him onto his back so that she could lay her head on his chest. Daryl wrapped his arm around her as she placed her left leg between his.

   "I know," she admitted. "Maybe I should talk to her about it. I just don't want to dredge up any more pain for her."

   As the sun set, the chirps from the crickets outside lulled her to sleep. Sometime during the night, she had rolled onto her back, and she woke to the sounds of rain pounding the metal roof. Standing with difficulty, she shook the ache out of her body before wandering towards the front to look for Daryl. He was standing in front of the door watching the rain come down, having moved the display rack.

   "Do ya wanna wait it out for a while or try to head back?" he asked as she came up next to him. 

   "Well, the fruit is probably getting soaked right now, so I'd rather just head back," she answered as a large boom of thunder shook the walls, causing her to jump. He nodded silently, and she went back to gather up their supplies.

   Ten minutes later, they were ensconced in the truck, soaked from head to toe as he started it up. They had to drive slowly so that the truck didn't sink into the mud, and when they finally got back out onto the highway, a large flash of lightning shot across the sky, causing the hair on Talia's arm to stand up. The storm was strong, and the high winds were causing the rain to come in sideways.

   The entire trip back to Alexandria was excruciating since Daryl had to drive at a snail's pace, struggling to keep the truck on the road at several points. A tree had come down on the two lane road back home, and they had to back up and go down several different roads to get back on track. Talia breathed a sigh of relief when Daryl finally made the turn onto their street, and the walls loomed in the distance.

   No one was on the guard walls, so Daryl beeped the horn to alert the community that they had returned. It took several minutes for the gate to open, and Talia was surprised to see that Rick was the one in the pouring rain, pulling it with some effort. As they passed by him, he waved them towards the pantry driveway, where Daryl turned around before backing in, getting the truck bed just outside the garage door.

   They jumped out and ran to the pantry porch where Keith was standing with the door open, and he let them in with Rick following just behind. Talia pushed her wet hair out of her face as Rick and Daryl shook themselves off. When she finally made eye contact with Rick, she got a bad feeling in her stomach. He looked pissed, and he walked into Keith's kitchen while he went to fetch them some towels.

   Daryl was the first to follow him, and Talia followed behind uncertainly. Rick still hadn't spoken, and he pointed to a piece of paper that was lying on the table. She picked it up, and her hands began to tremble as she read the words. The letter was from Gina, and her eyes closed as she finished the last line. Daryl snatched it from her hands, and she heard him cuss under his breath.

   "Why? How?" she whispered as she felt for a chair to sit down in. When her eyes opened, Rick was glaring over her shoulder. A towel appeared in front of her face and Keith handed the others to Rick and Daryl wordlessly. Once he was empty handed, he pulled out the chair opposite her and sat down.

   "Your sister drugged me after dinner and took Negan."

   "What?" she asked weakly.

   "She brought that wine with her," he said coldly. "It was already opened, and she said it needed to breathe. We didn't have it until dinner was done. I drank two glasses of the red and she had white wine. We went into the living room to relax, and I put a movie in. That's the last thing I remember. I didn't wake up until the next morning, and she had put a blanket over me. When I went down to give Negan some food, the cell was empty."

   "Oh, God," she whispered as she looked at him with wide eyes. "I'm so sorry."

   Keith turned his gaze to Rick. "Someone should have told me that they had a history."

   Rick bristled at the accusation, and his eyes flashed with irritation. "She's been here for months and it hasn't been an issue."

   Talia watched as Keith's face turned red. "Well, obviously it was. I was just drugged and used as a means to an end. I didn't sign up for that," he snapped.

   Rick took a step forward with his teeth bared as Daryl held his hand up to stop him before addressing Keith. "Listen, man, if we even thought this was a possibility, you would've been warned. But we thought she had accepted the fact that he wasn't getting out."

   Talia couldn't hear any more. She stood up, grabbing the note back off of the table and headed for the door. Balling it up in her fist, she jogged out into the rain towards her house, leaving their things in the truck. Gina had set her up, making her think that she wanted to rebuild a relationship, to move on, but it was only for show. All she wanted was to get Negan out.

   Too stunned to be angry, she opened the door to the townhouse and went straight upstairs, dropping on the ground next to the bed. Wrapping her hands around her legs, she rested her chin on her knees. If it had been anyone but Gina, she would have been impressed at her ingenuity, and the planning that must have gone into this.

   Daryl came in a few minutes later with a fresh towel for her and she took it from him, wiping herself lightly before laying it around her shoulders. He knelt down in front of her, but he didn't say anything. What could he say? What could she?

   Talia held out her hands, and he helped her to her feet. They walked into the bathroom together, showering quickly before going to bed. Neither one spoke as Daryl shut out the lights, and they faced away from each other. She spent most of the night staring at the window, listening to the storm rage on.

   The next morning, she felt Daryl tug on her shoulder, and Talia rolled over to face him. He looked at her pensively, but she just pulled his face to her, kissing him gently.

   When she broke away, he tucked her into his chest, and she finally began to cry. He stroked her head as she spilled tears onto his chest for what felt like hours.  
With a shuddering breath, she finally lifted her head to see him watching her. After shedding the weight of Gina's betrayal, she resolved to never cry over it again. Her sister's choices were her own, and she wouldn't assume the guilt for them. She had Daryl, she had Michonne and Rick, Tara, and even Judith. There was a family that cared about her right here, and she would concentrate on them from this day forward. Talia knew in her heart that her sister's words were true and that she'd never return. So Talia was determined to mourn her as if she passed, and only think of who her sister was, not who she is now.

   Giving Daryl a weak smile, she kissed his cheeks before sitting up. "We should go get our fruit cleaned up," she said in a dry voice.

   "You can stay and relax, ya know," he offered but she stood up.

   "That's the last thing I want to do," Talia replied as she stretched her arms over her head. "I want to keep busy. We have plenty that needs to be done here."

   They got changed and went downstairs for some coffee, drinking it quickly before walking out into the sunshine. The air was cooler from the storm, but there were leaves and branches down everywhere. Talia made a mental note to pick them up on the way back but continued on towards the pantry.

   Rick was already approaching the truck, and the garage door was open so that they could store the fruit. She picked up a case and carried it into the garage, setting it on one of the shelves. Keith was in the room counting up the fruit, but he didn't look at or speak to any of them.

   They were pulling the last wooden case of peaches out when Gabriel shouted down that a car was approaching. The three left the fruits with Keith as they took off for the fence. When they arrived, the car had stopped, and they could hear the car door open. Talia looked up at Gabriel, but he appeared to be dumbfounded, so Daryl pulled the gate open, and standing next to the car was Negan. He held up his hands to show that he didn't have any weapons, and his face was stony.

   Daryl took off like a shot, pulling his hunting knife from his belt and forcing Negan against the car. His arm was across Negan's throat and the knife was inches from his eye.

   "What the hell are ya doin' here?" he growled as Talia and Rick ran forward.

   "I came to turn myself back in."


	42. Chapter 42

   Rick came to stand behind Daryl with his gun drawn as Talia kept her distance.

   "Why would you do that?" Rick questioned him as Negan kept his gaze on the knife that was inches from his eye.

   "Because I didn't earn my fucking freedom," he replied in a low voice.

   A rising cacophony of voices were coming from inside the walls, and Rick shook his head as if to clear it.

   "Bring him inside," Rick ordered as Daryl lifted his arm from Negan's neck. He didn't resist as Daryl waved the knife towards Alexandria. With sure steps, he walked past Talia into the compound with Rick and Daryl right behind him.

   A crowd had gathered at the entrance, and people were gawking at the spectacle. Keith was still standing by the pantry, and Talia saw him staring daggers at Negan as the group approached. It made her slightly uncomfortable, but she trailed behind the three men.

   Something happened as Negan passed by Keith, causing him to lunge forward, tackling Negan to the ground. He was able to get a few punches in before Daryl pulled him off roughly, flinging him backward several feet.

   "That's enough," Rick bellowed, getting between the two of them as Talia rushed forward.

   Negan sat up, wiping the blood from his mouth as he smirked at Keith, who tried to barrel around Rick to continue the fight. Jeremiah rushed forward, grabbing his son by the arm and dragging him off towards the infirmary.

   "Take him into the house," Rick spat as he followed Jeremiah, taking long strides.

   Talia turned, extending her hand to Negan, who looked at her peculiarly before taking it and heaving himself up. Daryl led them into the house without a word, and Negan took it upon himself to head downstairs. Daryl followed him as Talia walked into the kitchen, rummaging around in a few drawers before she found a dish towel. Running it under the tap, she carried it down the steps and tossed it to Negan, who was now sitting on the bed.

   He caught it one-handed and placed it to his mouth, wincing slightly. Daryl was pacing outside the bars, and she knew that he was irritated. She, on the other hand, was unnervingly calm, leaning against the concrete wall with her arms crossed.

   "What did you say to him?" she asked as she tilted her head.

   "I may have apologized for cockblocking him," Negan said as he shrugged his shoulders.

   "Can you ever not be a dick?" she mumbled as she rolled her eyes.

   "No," he answered, completely serious.

   The three waited in chilly silence for Rick to join them. Around ten minutes later, they could hear his boots clicking across the tile upstairs, and he appeared downstairs with his gun situated back on his hip.

   Placing his hands on the bars, he observed Negan for a few moments.

   "Start talking."

   "About what?" Negan asked innocently.

   "This isn't a goddamned joke," Rick replied, his hands tightening around the metal bars. "Why are you here?"

   "I told you," he said with exaggerated patience. "I didn't earn my freedom."

   "Meaning what?" Daryl asked as he came to stand shoulder to shoulder with Rick.

   "I've spent the last year down here thinking about all the shit that's gone down between us," Negan explained as he looked at the spots of blood on the towel. Setting it on the bed, he leaned back against the wall. "Some real brutal shit. And I've had a lot of time to replay it in my head."

   "And?" Rick's voice was skeptical.

   "And, you were right," Negan told him with a sigh. "It didn't have to be like this. I've caused a shit ton of heartache, and I have to pay for that. And sneaking away in the middle of the night isn't owning up to the horrific things I've done."

   Talia listened to him talk, trying to deduce if he was playing some sort of game. Pushing herself away from the wall, she cleared her throat.

   "Rick?"

   He turned to face her as she took a step forward.

   "Can I get a moment alone with him?"

   Glancing at Daryl briefly, he nodded his head and went towards the steps. He had his cop face on, but he went upstairs and she could hear one of the chairs drag across the floor. Daryl was still standing by the bars, and she touched him gently on the shoulder, causing him to look over at her. He too went upstairs without a word, and she heard another chair being pulled out, leaving her and Negan alone together.

   Backing up, she sat down on the concrete floor, leaning against the wall opposite him. He was watching her expectantly, knowing what she was going to ask.

   "Where is she?" Talia finally questioned.

   "She's safe," he answered, picking at the towel. "She's at the new community she found."

   "Does she know you're back here?" she pressed as he avoided her gaze. "Will she be returning?"

   He shook his head. "No to both of your questions. I made sure of that."

   "I thought you loved her." It wasn't a question or an accusation. "That's what you told me when you were on your knees a year ago.'

   Negan's head snapped up, and she could see anger flashing through his eyes. "I did this because I love her."

   Her eyebrow rose as a grim smile crossed her face. "This is a funny way to show it."

   His eyes closed briefly as he leaned his head back. When he opened them, he looked up at the ceiling. "Your sister is a force of fucking nature. Did she tell you how we met?"

   Talia shifted on the ground as her hand went to her scar, almost unconsciously. "Yes."

   "Well, the guys that took her, we had been watching them. We were waiting to see if they could be friends, or if they would wind up enemies. One of my groups had been put in charge of keeping tabs on them. I wanted to know where they went, how they got their supplies. But we lost them for about a day or so, and I sent Dwight out to sniff them out."

   Talia struggled to swallow as her throat suddenly became dry.

   "Dwight didn't find them until after you and Gina had been taken. It was sheer dumb luck that he even did. He had been checking for supplies in a gas station, and the stupid fucks drove right by him. They were so cocky that they didn't even notice D following them, and as soon as they pulled into the house that they were squatting him, they dragged Gina out of the bed of the truck."

   Her heart began to speed up, even though she knew that Gina was okay. But hearing it again was bringing back the panic that Talia felt in the truck, which is what caused her to jump, thinking that Gina was leaping with her.

   "Dwight radioed back to me immediately, and we set off for his location. Now, I've never claimed to be a saint," he told her, "and in fact, I've done some pretty heinous shit, but one thing I can't tolerate is rape."

   She watched as his face hardened. "When we got there, Dwight was waiting for us on the street behind the house they were in. Suffice it to say, we went in and rained holy hell down on those pieces of shit. And when we got down to the basement, your sister was in a heap over in the corner. Her hair was matted down onto her face, her clothes were ripped, and she was covered in cuts and bruises."

   Talia turned her face to the wall as she struggled to keep herself under control.

   "Do you want me to stop?" Negan asked as she shook her head.

   "But her hands, they were covered in cuts. Her knuckles were shredded and her nails were ragged," he said, sounding somewhat in awe. "She fought, and she fought hard."

   Talia looked back at him as she wiped her eyes. He was still staring at the ceiling, and his fist was closed around the towel.

   "I picked her up as gently as I could, and I carried her up the steps. She never cried, and she never said a word. But she put her arm around my neck and kept a grip on me. I held her in my lap the entire way back to the Sanctuary."

   The sounds of movement upstairs broke the tension, and Talia brought her legs up to her chest as Negan finally dropped his head.

   "It took her some time to recover, for sure. But she agreed to be one of my wives. I figured that she was so fragile, it would keep her safe. I never pushed myself on her, and let her make the decision whether or not she wanted to be with me."

   "Wives," she mumbled as he smiled genially.

   "I told you I was a bastard," he reminded her. "And over time, I got to know the real Gina. She's bossy, she's bitchy, and she's normally calling me a jackass or an asshole," he said with a grin. "And I love that about her."

   Talia couldn't help but smile back, but his face dropped as his eyes unfocused.

   "I never wanted to fall in love with her. Her life would certainly have been better if I'd had just let her go early on. Maybe she would've come here and just had a normal life."  
   

   Talia snorted, startling him slightly as he looked at her quizzically. "Gina would have never had a normal life," she mused. "I don't think she would've ever settled down, at least before the world went to shit. She could never find what she was looking for."

   That only seemed to make him upset.

   "You still haven't told me why you didn't stay with her," she reminded him.

   "When she walked down those steps a few days ago, I can't even explain what it felt like. It was like seeing the sun after a year of nothing but pouring down fucking rain. And she was so happy to see me. _Me_. The asshole who terrorized people for two years. It made me feel human again, not like the monster that you all know me as. So I went with her after refusing at first. But the second night we spent on the road, I watched her while she slept. She'd been tossing and turning, and she called out your name."

   Talia's eyebrows rose in surprise as he continued.

   "It hit me right then. If I went with her, if I was selfish, I'd be depriving her of any sort of relationship with you and the rest of the people here. She wasn't lying when she said that she cared about you all. If I let all this happen, she'd have to spend the rest of her life looking over her shoulder, waiting for someone to find us. And I just couldn't fucking do that to her."

   Negan picked up the towel, twirling it around in the air as he sat up. "So I did what I do best," he told her with a sarcastic smile. "I made her hate me."  
  
   "You figured if you hurt her that she'd eventually get over you," she guessed as he nodded.

   "She can have a normal life now," he said, more to himself than to her.

   Talia climbed to her feet and walked to the bars. Holding out her hand, he tossed her the towel. She turned and walked upstairs, leaving him alone in the cell, and she headed for the kitchen, where Rick and Daryl were still sitting. After dropping the rag in the sink, she went into Keith's fridge, rummaging around for some food. There was some leftover pasta, and she dumped a pile on a plate before placing it in the microwave.

   Rick was drumming his nails on the table while Daryl sat stiffly, waiting for her to say something. When the microwave beeped, she pulled the food out, before taking a bottle of Keith's water and carrying it all downstairs. Negan was still sitting in the same spot, and she stuck the plate through the little food slot that Morgan had installed when he built the cell. Standing up, he took it without a word, smirking at the plastic silverware that she had placed with it. The bottle of water followed, and once he was seated, she trudged back up the steps, plopping down next to Daryl with a sigh.

   "What happened with Keith?" she inquired as Rick continued to drum his fingers on the table.

   "Keith is going to continue running the pantry, but he won't be living here anymore," Rick said shortly as Daryl fiddled with his knife.

   "That's probably for the best," she agreed as he looked at her quickly. "If you don't mind, I'd like to stay here for the time being."

   "What?"

   Daryl was glaring at her angrily. "What kind of bullshit was he spewing down there?"

   "He wasn't," Talia snapped. "He told me why he came back, and I believe him."

   Rick remained silent, his eyes darting between the two of them.

   "You're not staying here," Daryl barked as her face began to turn red.

   "I'm pretty sure we've already established that no one tells me what to do," she said, her voice rising.

   "Do you have amnesia?" Daryl hollered as he slammed the knife down. "This asshole is a murderer and a sadist."

   "I know what he's done," she argued as she stood up. "You don't have to remind me of anything. And I also know my sister, and I have to think that she understands him better than we do."

   "Well, your sister," he began before she cut him off.

   "You better tread lightly," she said coldly as he glared at her. "I'm not excusing anything she's done, nor him. But why the hell did we leave him alive if we weren't going to at least try?"

   "Try what?" Rick interrupted.

   "I don't know," she replied, giving a huff of frustration. "Try to rehabilitate him or something."

   "How the hell can you rehabilitate him?" Daryl asked, still glaring at her.

   "He didn't have to come back here," she challenged, looking at both of them. "He seems to be trying to do the right thing. Shouldn't we at least consider that?"

   Daryl stood up, grabbing his knife before he walked out the front door, slamming it behind him.

   Talia leaned forward, placing her hands on the table as she took several deep breaths. "Am I wrong here?" she asked quietly as Rick pushed in his chair.

   "I don't know," he admitted before patting her on the shoulder. "But whatever we decide, it's not going to be tonight. Why don't you go and grab your stuff, and I'll keep watch here?"

   She left without a word, walking back to their house. Daryl wasn't there, so she went up to their room, packing some clothes and supplies in a bag, shoving everything in roughly. She didn't want to fight with Daryl, but she wasn't going to be bulldozed.

   Negan was a bastard and a murderer, but he also had a conscience and a heart, apparently. This was about more than Gina, once again. If there was hope for redemption for him, why not try? Should they give up on everyone from now on? He couldn't take back what he did, but maybe he could spend the rest of his life making up for it. Maybe he could make a difference in the world from now on.

   When she got back to the pantry, Rick was still there, as well as Keith, who was busy packing up his things. He would have access to the garage, where everything was stored, but not the house. Rick offered to stay with her, but she assured him that she was fine. It took him all day to move out, and several of the people from his group came in to help. Each one gave her a dirty look, but it didn't faze her.

   No, Gina would have never ended up with Keith. He was too sensitive. She didn't blame him for his reaction since he had every reason to be upset with the turn of events, but the nice guy veneer had slipped, and there was no way he could get it back in place completely.

   When he was gone, she locked up the doors before going down to retrieve the plate. It was sitting outside the cell, and Negan was curled up asleep on the bed, facing the wall. Talia carried it up and straightened up the kitchen before taking her clothes and things up to the guest room.

   After the sun went down, she fed Negan one more time before fixing herself some dinner. She thought that Daryl might come to hash things out with her, but he never showed, and she spent the night on the couch, sleeping without him for the first time in a long time.


	43. Chapter 43

  
  
**Gina**

   "Gina, you keep moving."

   "I'm sorry, Casey," she apologized, placing her fingers flat against the table. The seven-year-old was getting more nail polish on Gina's skin than her nails, and she was trying to wipe it off before it dried. The two were heavily into their girls' day, which was completely dictated by Casey, and Gina was catering to the child's every wish today.

   Her parents were killed on a run just before Gina arrived on that stormy day, and the little girl was currently living with Jerika since she had no other relatives. She and her parents were only a part of the Reedville community for a short time, and Jerika was not quite ready to place her with another family. A couple of parents had offered to take her in with their own kids, but nothing had panned out yet. Casey was still traumatized from the loss, and didn't seem to mesh with the other kids involved.

   So Jerika had her set up in one of her guest rooms, but on the days she had to travel to other communities, she asked Gina to care for her. She hadn't wanted to be rude and refuse, but she had barely known anyone that well when she arrived. So when she questioned the reason she was willing to trust Gina with Casey, she was surprised at the logic.

   "Casey watched you as you entered Reedville," Jerika told her as she looked back at her in confusion. "You were walking in the pouring down rain, barely moving at all, and Casey turned to me and said, 'She seems as sad as I do.'"

   Her heart pinched at that comment, so Gina followed Jerika into her house to meet the little girl. She had long, wavy brown hair and big green eyes. Tall for her age, she was skinny and wiry, and her face told a story of sadness. Of course, Casey's loss was far worse than hers, but she got down on her knees so that she could speak at eye level to the girl, who was hesitant at first.

   "Say hello," Jerika told Casey as she stood peeking out behind Jerika's waist.

   "Hi," she said softly.

   Gina held out her hand and the child took it, shaking it quickly before retracting her arm.

   "My name is Gina," she told her, giving her a gentle smile. "Boy, you sure are pretty."

   Casey gave her a little grin before glancing up at Jerika, who nodded encouragingly.

   "Where did you come from?" Casey asked her, peeking out a little further.

   "I came from a community called Alexandria," she explained as she sat back a little. "Where did you live before?"

   "Um, we lived by the beach," she said in her little girl voice, her face scrunching up. "I can't remember the name."

   "That's okay," Gina said soothingly. "Did you like the beach?"

   The longer they talked, the more confident Casey became, until she was standing directly in front of Gina. She had told her about her dog, Max, and that she was a good speller in school. They didn't talk about her parents, but the girl couldn't hide the sorrow in her eyes. Gina spent about an hour with her before Casey went upstairs to play, and Jerika brought her a cup of tea as they sat in the dining room.

   "Now that you've met her, do you think you'd be able to spend some time with her on the days that I have to leave the community?" Jerika questioned as she spooned some sugar into her tea.

   "I guess so," Gina replied before taking a sip. "I've never really spent a lot of time with kids before."

   "I'm sure you'll do fine," Jerika said reassuringly with a smile. "Casey is going to need a lot of support, and I think it would be good for both of you."

   Gina was taken aback briefly before composing herself. When she had confided in Jerika about Negan rejecting her, the older woman hadn't said much. She just let Gina vent her feelings as they sat on the dock the day after she had arrived for good. After she had composed herself, Jerika took her into the house and gave her the official tour. She had tried again to decline the house, but Jerika had insisted. Why, she still wasn't sure.

   The first few days after she arrived, she spent most of her time putting her things away and cleaning the large house. It kept her mind off of Negan during the day, but at night, she would lay in her bed and cry. The turn of events had still left her dumbfounded and heartbroken, and she wondered perversely where he had gone and if he even thought about her at all.

   Jerika had informed her that she would be going on runs for supplies with Annabeth and a guy named Carl whenever Jerika was going to be in town, and that Gina would take charge of Casey on the days that she was home so that the girl could have some stability. She had brought Casey over to Gina's and let her pick one of the guest rooms that could be her own, and the little girl had run from bedroom to bedroom, finally settling on the room just next door to Gina's.

   It had been wallpapered in pale pink flowers on a gray background, and had an antique doll house that was modeled after the Victorian, right down to the colors on the outside. She and Casey had spent hours cleaning and dusting it, and she sat with the child as she arranged all of the tiny furniture to her liking.

   The first night that Casey had spent with her was rough, since the little girl woke up in the middle of the night, crying for her mom and dad. Unsure of what to do, she had rushed into her bedroom, picking her up in her arms and rocking her as she cried. "Shh," Gina whispered, stroking her head. "Do you want me to lay with you until you fall back asleep?"

   Casey nodded her head, sniffling as she placed her back in the bed. Crawling in next to her, Gina continued to stroke her hair until her eyes closed and her breathing slowed.

   Every night that followed on Casey's visits, Gina would lay with her until she was out, and then she would go to her own room. During the day, she would make sure Casey had time to play, but she would also have her practice reading and writing before taking her outside. They would help with the gardening or go down to the docks when the fishermen and women would return with their catches. Training to clean and store the seafood was a learning experience for them both, and Gina found herself looking forward to spending time with Casey.

   When Jerika would return, Casey would leap into Gina's arms, hugging her tightly and ask when she could come back. Sometimes Gina would have to break it to her that she was going on a run for a few days, and the little girl would pout until Jerika would give her a look, eyebrows raised.

   Gina found herself looking for fun things for Casey when they were out on the road like makeup and toys, which is how she found herself sitting at her dining room table getting a makeover. The two had gone exploring in the attic of the old Victorian and discovered trunks full of vintage clothes. Casey had seized an old lacy white shirt which was now doubling as a dress, cinched around her waist with a gold belt.

   A chiffon sundress with yellow flowers had been given to Gina with strict orders to wear it for girls' day, and she had obliged. Casey had put Gina's hair in sparkly barrettes and was now finishing the manicure. When she was done, she put the nail polish to the side, telling Gina to blow them dry.

   "Are you about ready?" Gina asked when the polish had hardened. "Buzz is waiting to take us on the boat."

   "Let me get my purse," Casey said as Gina rolled her eyes with a smile.

   "Hurry up, squirt," she told her as Casey ran up the stairs. Gina slipped on a pair of white sandals before grabbing two cardigans in case there was a cool breeze out on the ocean. Tiny footsteps came bounding down the stairs, and she took Casey by the hand as they walked out into the late summer sun.

   Surprisingly, the past month since she came to town had flown by. Gina was grateful, since she didn't have much time to feel sorry for herself, and she suspected that was Jerika's motivations for pairing her and Casey up together. And she had to admit, it was nice to worry about someone other than herself. She had never thought about having children, either before or after the end of the world. But Casey was a special girl, and she'd carved out a large spot in Gina's heart.

   The street was bustling since it was mid-day, and they waved and said hellos to several of the other residents, many of whom complimented them on their fine dresses. Casey was quick to tell everyone that they came across that the outfits were all her idea, and the adults indulged her with praise, causing her to glow with pride.

   Twenty minutes later, they were making their way over to the public dock, where Buzz was waiting expectantly for them. He had two lifejackets in his hands and a fisherman's cap on his head. Buzz was in his sixties, with a grizzled beard, sunburnt skin and fluffy white hair. He and Jerika were an item, though he never spent the night when Casey was there to the best of Gina's knowledge.

   "I was gettin' ready to call out a search party," he said gruffly, though he gave Casey a little wink.

   "We had to do our nails, Buzz," Casey replied tartly as she stuck her tongue out at him, causing Gina to pat her shoulder.

   "Manners, Casey," she reminded her.

   "I'm sorry, Buzz," she apologized, rather reluctantly.

   "Never you mind," he muttered as he slid the jacket over Casey's head, securing it quickly. Gina put her own on as Buzz hoisted the little girl up, placing her inside his boat. Holding out his hand, he helped Gina in as well before unhooking the rope and jumping in with a spryness that belied his age.

   She and Casey got themselves settled as Buzz busied himself with the sails, and they began to drift slowly away from the dock with help from the motor. Gina sat back and took a deep breath, enjoying the clear blue sky and the fresh air. Seagulls were flying low to the water, squawking merrily as they made their way out into the open ocean.

   On days like today, it was easy to forget the outside world and the fact that the dead were walking around. Inside their walls and out on the water, life was calm and assured. There was very little activity in their area, either from strangers or walkers. And every day, Casey seemed to get a little more open, a little happier. Even without Negan, Gina was learning to live again, though she had no interest in ever being with any other man. Perhaps just having Casey in her life was enough.

   The waves were calm as they rounded the coast, and for the next few hours Buzz took them up to the north, keeping the beach to the left. Casey interrogated him about fishing, and he offered to teach her to hold a fishing pole the next time they came out since he didn't bring one with him. She happily agreed as Gina pulled her thick brown hair back, securing it with the rubber band that she fished out of Casey's purse.

   They spent the next several hours out on the water, eating crackers with fruit spread and drinking water as Buzz told them funny stories about growing up on boats. As the sun started to get lower in the sky, he turned the boat around so that they could head for home. The top of the water reflected the orange rays and Gina stared out at the endless water, gasping when a group of dolphins broke through the waves, jumping in unison.

   "Casey, look!"

   Her face lit up as Gina pointed them out to her, and she was nearly vibrating with excitement as they dove in and out of the water. Her enthusiasm was contagious, and she joined Casey in waving goodbye to them when they began to peel off, heading towards deeper waters.

   The sky was a deep red when the familiar landmarks of home came into view, and Buzz glided the boat in expertly. Two of the men were waiting to help them dock, and Gina let them lift Casey onto the dock before letting Buzz help her up.

   "Thanks again, Buzz," she said as she picked up Casey, who laid her head on Gina's shoulder.

   "It was my pleasure," he replied grandly as he laid the sweaters over Casey's back. Gina carried her up the wooden planks carefully as one of the men offered to help her home. Gina declined with a smile as she continued on her way. It was twilight as she walked through the town, and the air was turning chilly.

   "As soon as we get back, I want you in the tub to get cleaned up, then I'll fix us some dinner," she murmured as Casey twirled Gina's hair around her little fingers.

   "I'm tired," she mumbled as Gina chuckled.

   "Fresh air does that, but you still have to get a bath," she told her as she huffed.

   They rounded the bend to her house, and Gina could see three figures sitting on the porch. Squinting, she tried to make out who it was, but the light was fading fast, making impossible to see any faces. It wasn't until she stepped onto the brick path leading up to her house that she recognized them, and she stopped in her tracks. Jerika was sitting on the wicker sofa between Rick and Talia.


	44. Chapter 44

 

   Gina's breathing sped up as she took in the sight on her porch. Forcing her feet to move, she walked slowly to the steps, climbing up carefully with Casey in her arms, whose head had lifted up at the sudden stop. The lights from the inside of the house were casting a light yellow glow on Jerika, Talia, and Rick, who all stood up when she reached the wooden porch.

   Setting Casey down on her feet, Gina took her hand as the little girl looked from her to Talia and back again, her eyes wide.

   "She looks just like you!" Casey exclaimed in awe.

   Talia smiled as she took a step forward, extending her hand as she bent down.

   "My name is Talia," she said as Casey looked uncertainly up at her.

   "It's okay, Casey," Gina said gently, squeezing her hand. "She's my sister."

   Casey looked up at her with her eyebrows furrowed. "You didn't say you had a sister," she said accusingly. Clearly, this was a betrayal of the highest order.

   "Well, she lives in Alexandria," Gina explained. "I didn't think you'd ever get to meet her."

   Jerika cleared her throat, and Casey took Talia's hand, shaking it quickly before leaning up against Gina, putting her skinny arm around Gina's waist.

   "Perhaps I should take Casey to my house," Jerika offered, but Gina shook her head.

   "I'd like her to spend the night here, please." It was a request, but also a plea.

   "I want to stay here," Casey said plaintively, squeezing her waist tighter.

   Talia glanced from Gina to Jerika as the two women stared each other down. Finally, with a sigh, Jerika waved them all into the house.

   Gina opened the door and walked in with her skin tingling. She didn't think she was in shock, but it was hard to process the fact that Rick and Talia were here in Reedville. How in the hell did they find her? And what were they going to do? They had no claim on her, so the couldn't exactly drag her from here kicking and screaming, but on the other hand, maybe they'd told Jerika just enough to get her banned.

   Turning around to face the three, she spoke woodenly. "I'm going to get Casey her bath and ready for bed if you'd like to have a seat. I'll be back down soon. Jerika, would you mind getting everyone some refreshments?"

   Jerika nodded grandly before leading Rick and Talia towards the dining room. Talia followed behind without looking at her, but Rick was watching her carefully as she backed towards the steps with Casey still holding onto her. His face gave nothing away, which only made her more nervous.

   Casey was abnormally quiet as Gina took her into the bathroom to start her bath. Bending down, she put the plug into the old claw-footed tub, turning on the water to a comfortable temperature before adding some bubble bath. When she straightened up, she saw that Casey was watching her with tears in her eyes.

   "What's wrong?" Gina asked, getting on her knees in front of Casey.

   "Did they come to take you away? Are you going back to Alexandria?" she asked in a teary voice.

   Gina pulled her into a hug, rubbing her back. "I'm not going anywhere, Casey, I promise you."

   The little girl wrapped her arms around Gina's neck, clinging to her tightly. "I don't want you to leave."

   Pulling her back so that they could look into each other's eyes, Gina placed her hands on Casey's cheeks, wiping away the wetness.

   "I'm not going to leave," she reiterated. "I'm going to stay right here. So no more crying, okay? Your bath is filling up, and I want you to get undressed and in the tub while I get your pajamas."

   Patting her on the butt, Gina opened the door and went into Casey's room, pulling out a nightgown and some clean underpants as she tried not to panic. No matter what happened, she swore to herself, she wasn't going to be separated from Casey. No one had any right to keep them apart.

   Balling the clothes in her fist without realizing it, she marched back into the bathroom where Casey was singing some nonsensical song about dolphins, already completely over the most recent turn of events. She had thoroughly accepted Gina's promise of security and stability and had moved on to more enjoyable thoughts. At that moment Gina envied her completely.

   Once she was completely clean from head to toe, Gina helped Casey from the tub, drying her off with the towel and dressing her for bed. It took a few minutes to get all of the knots out of her hair, but once they were done, they walked together into the bedroom, and Gina pulled the covers down, letting Casey climb in before she tucked her in securely.

   "I'm going to go down and see my sister for a little bit, but I'll be back up to check on you later," she told Casey before kissing her on the forehead. Closing the door softly behind her, she made her way slowly towards the steps, hoping to avoid whatever was waiting for her in the dining room.

   She could hear the soft sounds of conversation as her feet hit the main floor and threw her shoulders back with a confidence that she didn't feel as she strolled into the dining room. The chatter stopped as soon as she appeared, and everyone looked at her expectantly as she took her seat.

   Jerika had put out more fruit spread along with freshly baked bread and each one had a cup of tea in front of them. Gina placed her hands in her lap as she looked from Jerika to Talia, finally focusing on Rick.

   "If you've come for Negan, I'm afraid you've wasted a trip," she said evenly as he kept his face neutral.

   "Jerika already informed us that he never entered the community with you," he said quietly as her heart spasmed in her chest. She could feel Jerika watching her, but she kept her eyes on Rick.

   "Well, I am sorry for the way things went down," she said sincerely, "and had I known the outcome, I wouldn't have even bothered. But I don't know where he went or if he's even still alive, so I'm not going to be any help in locating him."

   "We're not here for Negan," he confessed, causing her eyes to widen. "We're here to negotiate a trading pact with Jerika."

   Her mouth popped open in surprise at first, but she closed it quickly. "And how did you come to find out about this place?" she asked, unable to hide the suspicion in her voice.

   "It turns out that we have a trading partner in common," he said mildly before smiling at Jerika.

   "I had the pleasure of meeting your former friends at the Kingdom," Jerika said in her deep, soothing voice. "I was unaware that we inhabited such a small world. It often seems as if we are loners moving through this new reality, so imagine my surprise when King Ezekiel had visitors on my arrival. It was even more shocking to see Talia." Jerika smiled indulgently at her sister, who returned the look with a grin.

   "They explained who they were and where they were located, and expressed an interest in forming a trade deal," Jerika told her vaguely. Gina fiddled with her spoon, spinning in her teacup and feeling like a child that was caught in a lie. "So I invited them back her to discuss the terms, and I thought that you'd like to catch up with your family."

   Gina glanced up, looking at her sharply as she tried to determine if there was an underlying sentiment under her words. But Jerika was watching Rick instead, who was, in turn, looking at Gina. As the silence went on, it was Jerika who spoke again.

   "Well, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to make up the guest rooms for you both. Once you're done here, you can come down to my house. It's the large white one three down as you head back towards the gate. I'll leave the porch light on for you."

   "Thank you for your hospitality," Rick replied, standing as Jerika took her leave. Gina heard the door close softly, leaving her alone with the two people that she betrayed for nothing.

   Talia had remained curiously quiet during the conversation, so Gina lifted her eyes to find her sister watching her. The look was almost pitying, and Gina bit the inside of her cheek, trying to come up with something to say.

   "Again, I am sorry," she told the two of them. "I never meant to hurt any of you. I just did what I thought was right at the time."

   "And you don't think it's the right thing anymore?" Rick questioned, his eyes narrowing as he waited for her response.

   "I don't know what you want me to say," she said stiffly, her cheeks starting to burn. "I can only hope that Negan doesn't return to cause any harm to any of you. But if he does, I'll won't blame you for anything you may have to do." It hurt to say his name, and her voice almost gave out when she did.

   Rick sat back down, pushing his tea away from him. "I just wish you would have come and talked to me before you made the decision to betray us."

   Her eyes began to burn as she looked down at the table. "I loved him," she replied quietly. "and you would have never let him go. Would you be able to live carefree knowing Michonne was locked in a cell? Or Daryl for that matter?"

   "Michonne and Daryl would have never done what Negan did," Rick retorted, his voice cold.

   "I know that," Gina answered in a shaky voice. "I wasn't referring to anything that he did. But love is love."

   Talia finally spoke as Gina wiped at her eyes, angry at herself.

   "Rick, why don't you head over to Jerika's and I'll meet you there in a few minutes."

   He nodded his head before standing up and pushing the chair back in. The door opened and closed once again, leaving the two of them sitting across from each other. Gina continued to stare at the tablecloth, tapping her fingers on the teacup before clenching them into a fist.

   "I forgive you, Gina," Talia said softly, causing her face to crumble as she leaned forward, putting her head into her hands. She could hear Talia stand up, and a moment later she felt her sister's arms around her.

   Neither spoke as Gina continued to cry, big wracking sobs taking over her body. When she could cry no more, she wiped her face with the napkin that was sitting in front of her before she turned to look at Talia.

   "I'm sure you're happy to know that he's not here," she said in a shuddering breath as Talia frowned at her.

   "Why would that make me happy?" she snapped before composing herself again.

   "Because I know you hate him. I understand why you do, and I know that you never approved of my feelings."

   "That doesn't mean I want you to be miserable," Talia said, shifting in her seat at she brushed Gina's hair away from her face. "I've only ever wanted you to be happy. I thought that you could have been at Alexandria, but I know now that it would have been impossible. So if you're happier here, I'm glad."

   "I'm getting there," Gina admitted as she took her Talia's hand. "Having Casey helps."

   "I was going to ask about that," Talia said as one of her eyebrows rose.

   "She lost her parents right before I got here," Gina explained. "And Jerika thought that we'd be good for each other."

   "No offense," Talia replied mildly, "but you've never exactly been fond of kids."

   "I wasn't," Gina agreed. "But I love _this_ kid. She's given me something I've never had before," she said as she stared blankly at the wall, looking at the picture of a garden that was mounted there, but not really seeing it. "I care more about her more than myself or my own selfish feelings."

   "Well, I'll be damned," Talia said in surprise, causing Gina to blink rapidly.

   Feeling self-conscious, Gina began to gather up the cups, carrying them into the kitchen with Talia hot on her heels. After packing up the food, she started to wash the cups and saucers as Talia dried them. Neither one spoke, but it wasn't an uncomfortable silence. When everything was cleaned up and put away, she followed Talia to the front door, and just before her sister left, she stopped and turned around, her head cocked to the side.

   "And what about Negan?" she questioned, watching Gina closely. "Do you think you'd ever forgive him?"

   She felt her eyes prick with tears again and rubbed her face roughly. "You can't forgive someone for not loving you," she said tiredly, bringing her hand to her chest. "It just is what it is."

   Talia held onto the doorknob, looking at her nervously. "Do you want me to stay here with you tonight?"

   "I'll be fine, Talia," she told her. "I'm really tired and I just want to crawl into my bed. If you're going to be here for a while tomorrow, I'd love for you to come over and get to know Casey, though."

   Talia was watching her doubtfully, and she seemed to hesitate. "I'd like that, too, but let's see how everything goes," she replied cryptically.

   Before Gina could ask her what the hell that meant, Talia scooted out the door, closing it behind her and moving swiftly down the steps and out into the street. Befuddled, Gina locked the door and shut off the lights before climbing the stairs to the second floor.

   She opened Casey's door to check on her, and the child was sound asleep in her bed. Shutting it quietly, she tiptoed down the hall to her own room, letting out a squeal when she saw a silhouette standing by her window, illuminated by the moonlight. Flipping on the lights, her heart lurched into her throat when she saw that it was Negan, and he was holding up his hands to show her that he wasn't there to harm her.


	45. Chapter 45

 

   Gina backed away from him, her heart thumping wildly as he took a step towards her. Negan stopped when he took in her demeanor, dropping his hands to his sides as she clutched her throat.

   He was wearing jeans and a t-shirt and he looked years younger, even after just a month. His skin was tanned and he had gained weight. Clearly, he had been living well without her, which only hurt more. She had spent so much time struggling to keep her head above water, and Negan had been as happy as a lark.

   "Leave. Now." It was all she could manage to spit out as he searched her face.

   "Please let me explain," he begged her as her head began to shake.

   "I'm not interested in anything you have to say," Gina said, finally finding her voice. "You made your feelings perfectly clear already."

   "No I didn't," he insisted, taking one step further as she held up her hands, which were trembling. There was a longing in his eyes that she hadn't seen since the Sanctuary, but he stopped where he was, his hand twitching.

   "Just give me five minutes. That's all I ask."

   Pressing herself against the wall, she watched him warily as a million thoughts ran through her head, all of them blending together. "You have three," she finally replied as his shoulders slumped slightly.

   "I went back to Alexandria after I dropped you off," he told her as she continued to breathe rapidly, her chest rising and falling almost as fast as her heart could beat. When it was clear that she wasn't going to respond, he continued.

   "I had to do the right thing," Negan said as he ran a hand through his hair. "I couldn't just run away with you. I couldn't put you in that position. You'd already given up so much for me, and I couldn't take anything else away from you."

   "I don't believe you," she retorted, acid dripping from every word. "Since when have you ever thought about me, or what was best for me?"

   "I have," he insisted, his eyes flashing with anger, or guilt, she wasn't quite sure which. "I always have."

   She was finding her equilibrium again, and she took a step forward, challenging him. "Really?" Gina questioned. "Was it when you took off to fight a losing battle, leaving me broken and alone? Was it when you insisted on hurting people that had never done anything to you, just so you could keep the Sanctuary fed without actually doing any of the work? Or how about when you flaunted other women in my face? Because if you really thought about how any of that affected me, I'd die of shock. Everything you've ever done was about you."

   "I know I've fucked up," he shot back, standing up to his full height, "but I tried to make it right. That's why I went back."

   "You went back for you, not me," she accused him. "Once again, you made decisions without even consulting me, because you either think I'm too stupid or too emotional to handle it."

   Negan shook his head in denial, but she wouldn't be deterred. "Every time you make a choice, I'm the one that ends up hurt and alone, crying until I just can't anymore. I'm the one that has to pick myself up off of the floor and figure out a way to continue on. But not you. You just keep sailing on unscathed."

   "Do you honestly fucking think this hasn't changed my life?" he asked, his face contorting with anger. "I lost a year of my life, a year that I could've had with you, and I have to live with that."

   "No you don't," she said quietly. "Not anymore."

   "Gina?"

   Both of them turned towards the door to see Casey watching them with wide eyes. Gina rushed towards her, picking her up.

   "It's ok, squirt," she said in a soft voice as Casey stared at Negan, who worked to compose himself, smiling at her. Casey leaned in, whispering in Gina's ear.

   "No, honey," she answered, loudly enough for Negan to hear. "He's not my boyfriend. He's just a man I used to know."

   She locked eyes with him as his mouth turned down, clearly hurt.

   "I want you gone," she mouthed to him over Casey's head, hugging her tightly to her chest. Without a backward glance, she fled the room, shutting Casey's door behind them and leaning against it briefly before walking her back to the bed. Setting her down gently, she smoothed the covers back over the little girl's form, smiling broadly as Casey watched her.

   "I'm sorry if we woke you up," Gina apologized. "I was just surprised to see him, that's all." Walking around the end of the bed, she climbed in, brushing Casey's hair to try to put her at ease. "Close your eyes," she told her, "and I'll stay with you until you fall back asleep."

   It took over a half an hour to get her to go to sleep, and when she was completely out, Gina eased herself back off of the bed. When she got back to her room, she was relieved to see that Negan was gone. Unzipping the dress, she stepped out of it, tossing it onto the antique chair that sat in the corner and pulled a pair of sweatpants out of her drawer. After shrugging a long sleeved shirt over her head, she pulled a pack of cigarettes from her closet and put on socks and boots before going down into the kitchen.

   Her hands were still shaking slightly as she hunted down her only bottle of whiskey and taking her things with her to the dock in the back.

   The moon was full, illuminating the land and sea, and she plopped down at the end of the dock, leaning against the pole as she lit a cigarette, inhaling deeply to try to calm herself. Untwisting the cap, she took a large gulp of alcohol, coughing slightly as her eyes watered. She hadn't partaken of either vice since she arrived, but she figured she was well within her rights to do so.

   The sound of footsteps, ones that she knew well, echoed behind her, and she closed her eyes until she felt him sit down next to her. God, he never listened. Gina flicked the cigarette into the water, watching as it extinguished before sinking under the waves.

   "I love you, Gina."

   She took another swig of whiskey before looking over at him. His eyes were glassy with unshed tears, and her chin started to quiver. "I think you were right that day in the car, Negan," she said almost inaudibly. "Sometimes love just isn't enough."

   His face blanched at her words, but he nodded his head before hauling himself to his feet. She stared out at the water as he walked back up the dock, and she didn't move until her cheeks were so cold that she couldn't feel them anymore. Trudging back into the house, she locked the door behind her and made the long trek back up to her room.  
 

   She didn't bother to change her clothes, instead climbing under the covers and turning towards the window. The tears came quickly as she tried to block his face from her mind. No matter what she did, she ended up crying over him, and she just couldn't do it anymore.

   A tiny hand touched her arm, startling her and she rolled over to see Casey watching her. "Do you want me to stay with you until you fall asleep?" she asked as Gina sniffled, wiping her nose.

   Scooting over in the bed, she let her climb in, wrapping her arms around Casey. Kissing the back of her head, she took a deep breath, vowing to never let this little girl see her in such a state again. It wasn't fair to her, and Gina didn't want her to worry about anything. She deserved the chance to be a kid, even in this screwed up world.

   Gina drifted in and out of sleep, waking as soon as the light dawned in the room. She snuck out of the bed, closing the door softly and going down into the kitchen, this time for coffee. The pot was just finishing up when there was a knock on the door. Peeking through the curtains, she saw that it was Rick, and opened the door to let him in.

   He followed her into the dining room, taking a seat while she went in to get two cups and the pot of coffee. After bringing out sugar and creamer, she sat down heavily, allowing him to pour them each a cup of liquid crack.

   It was Gina who finally opened the conversation. "Why did you bring him here?" she asked before taking a sip.

   "Because he earned it," Rick told her as he set down his spoon. He held the cup in his hand, not taking a sip as he took in her bloodshot eyes.

   "Earned it?"

   "Aside from the very beginning, Negan spent the past month doing everything he could to help us, whether it was picking fruit at the orchard or standing guard. He's done it without complaint."

   "So you think he's changed," Gina said doubtfully.

   "I'm afraid I do," Rick told her with a sigh.

   Unable to help it, Gina let out a sardonic laugh, causing Rick to tilt his head.

   "I'm sorry," Gina explained as she set her cup down, "but did you ever in your life think that we'd be switching opinions?"

   "Never," he admitting with a smile. "But what surprises me more is that Talia has been his biggest champion."

   "Huh?" she sputtered as he continued to grin.

   "Talia moved into the pantry when he came back to watch over him," he told her, shaking his head in disbelief. "They spent a lot of time getting to know each other, much to Daryl's intial dismay."

   "Oh, shit," she mumbled, causing him to laugh. It was a deep, pleasant sound, and she found herself smiling at the response.

   "Yeah, he tried to tell Talia she couldn't do it. That was awkward for me, let me just say."

   "Oh, poor Daryl," she commiserated, imagining how that went over.

   "They didn't speak for two days," he informed her as she took another sip.

   "And how did that get resolved?" she wondered as Rick sat back in the chair.

   "Well, Talia made Daryl come down and talk to Negan. It took some time, and a lot of dirty looks and threats on Daryl's part, but he came around. They're never going to be friends, but they could at least be in the same room without Daryl putting an arrow through his head."

   Gina sat quietly in the dining room, digesting all of this new information. She tried to picture Negan toeing the line in Alexandria, but she just couldn't see it. It didn't jibe with the man that she knew, not that she didn't want it to be true.

   "What are you thinking?" Rick asked, causing her to blink rapidly.

   "I guess that I'm thinking that it shouldn't be this hard, you know?"

   Rick nodded sympathetically, as she continued. "I mean, you and Michonne always seem to be in sync. So does Talia and Daryl, at least where Negan isn't concerned."

   "That's not true," he argued lightly. "Every couple goes through their nerve-wracking struggles."

   "Like this?"

   "No, not like this," he conceded. "But you've got to make your own way, whatever that is. Believe me, I have no interest in taking up Negan's cause, but I've seen how much you love him, and I think he feels the same way, or else he wouldn't have come back to take responsibility."

   They were interrupted by Casey, who came stumbling in, rubbing her eyes. When she made eye contact with Rick, she looked at Gina in confusion. "He's not the man from your room," she stated matter of factly.

   "Whose brilliant idea was that anyway?" Gina muttered as she patted the seat next to her. Casey climbed up, sitting on her knees as she looked between the two of them.

   "That would be me," Rick admitted sheepishly, raising his hand into the air.

   "Why on earth would you think that was a smart move?" she asked as she stood up to get Casey some breakfast.

   "He was pacing incessantly, and it was driving me up the wall," he answered defensively, as even Casey looked at him dubiously. "It got him out of my hair."

   "Well you're lucky I didn't have a gun on me," she retorted before going into the kitchen. She returned a few minutes later with toast and jam, setting them down with a glass of water. Out of habit, she peeled the crust off as Casey waited patiently.

   "This is Rick," she said when she was done, watching as Casey popped a piece into her mouth. "He's the leader of Alexandria. Rick, this is Casey."

   "Pleased to meet you, ma'am," he said formally, tipping a nonexistent hat towards her, causing her to duck her head with a smile.

   "So, what are you going to do?" Rick asked, returning his attention to Gina.

   "Nothing, right now," she answered as she ran her finger across her lip. "I have a lot to think about. When are you taking him back to Alexandria?"

   "We're not," he told her, surprise in his voice.

   "What?" she asked weakly, thrown by this tidbit of information.

   "He's already secured a house here, and Jerika put him on the wall to help guard. Sorry," he said, sounding anything but.

   Gina had no response to that, and the conversation dragged until Rick stood up to take his leave. She walked him to the door, and he gave her a little wave before starting off down the steps.

   When she sat back down, she began to nibble absently on the crusts of bread, her mind going blank as she tried to process everything Rick told her. After failing to come to any sort of conclusion, she finally gave up, picking up the dishes and taking them into the kitchen, depositing them in the sink before taking Casey up to get dressed for the day.

   Hand in hand, they left the house and headed for Jerika's. She could see Rick down the street, loading up supplies as he spoke with several people in the community, while others were pulling crates from their trucks. It appeared that an equitable exchange was taking place, which pleased her. She doubted she'd ever set foot in Alexandria again, but hopefully, her relationship hadn't suffered permanently with Rick or Daryl.

   The door opened as they reached the top step, and Jerika looked affectionately at Casey as they entered. Talia was sitting in the living room, and she smiled hesitantly at Gina, who shook her head minutely. The smile faded, but she recovered when Casey skipped into the room.

   "Hey, Talia, can you keep an eye on her for a minute?" Gina asked as Talia nodded swiftly.

   Jerika led her into the kitchen, which housed a small table and chairs. Motioning for her to sit, Jerika offered her some coffee, but Gina declined. If she consumed any more caffeine, she might never sleep again.

   "I don't need to ask how it went," Jerika said gently. "Negan already came to see me last night."

   Gina tucked her hair behind her ears as she shrugged.

   "Do you have a problem with him staying here?" she asked, leaning forward slightly.

   "No, I don't," Gina replied. "I'm actually here to talk about Casey."

   "Okay," Jerika answered, her eyebrows raising slightly.

   "If she's alright with it, I'd like to keep her permanently," she said as Jerika's mouth quirked slightly. "You can take me off of runs, and I can do something here in town so that I can be here for her."

   "That's a big responsibility," Jerika observed, giving nothing away.

   "It's a responsibility that I want," Gina told her, looking her square in the eyes. "I love her."

   "Good," Jerika said, her eyes sparkling.

   Something relaxed inside her, and she let the warmth that was building inside her heart spread, causing her to tear up, but these were happy tears.

   "Casey," Jerika called out, and a moment later, she came skipping into the kitchen with Talia right behind her. "Gina has something she wants to talk to you about."

   Casey came to stand next to her, twirling her long brown curls around her finger as she looked up at her anxiously. Feeling strangely nervous, Gina bent down so that they were eye to eye.

   "Do you want to stay with me all the time? You don't have to if you don't want to, but I'd love for you to live with me."

   The little girl was quiet for a moment as she looked from Jerika to Gina, and a lump started to form in Gina's throat.

   "You mean like a family?" she asked as Gina tried to smile.

   "Yes, like a family."

   Casey's nose scrunched up as she seemed to sort out this offer in her head, which was amazingly stressful for Gina.

   "Yes," she said in a chirpy voice, causing Gina to visibly exhale in relief. Scooping her up into a hug, she held her tightly before kissing the top of her head.

   "Why don't you go and pack up the rest of your things for me?" she suggested as she set her back down on the ground. Jerika stood up to help her and Talia took her seat, watching Gina carefully as she dabbed at her eyes.

   "What?" Gina finally asked, looking at her sister defensively.

   "Nothing," Talia said quickly, trying to act nonchalant.

   "Talia," she warned her, leveling her with a look.

   "Just give him a chance," Talia spit out before pretending to zip her lips.

   "What kind of alternate universe is this?" Gina snapped before standing up. "Tell Casey I'll be right back," she said roughly over her shoulder before stomping to the door, careful not to slam it behind her so that she didn't suffer Jerika's wrath.

   Perched on the edge of the porch, she scanned the town, searching thoroughly until she spotted him. He was helping Rick put the final coolers on the truck and they were chatting quietly.

   Steeling herself, she walked down the steps and up the street towards the walls. It wasn't until she got about fifty feet away that the two noticed her approaching, and Rick beat a hasty retreat while Negan stood there gracelessly, his face damned near terrified of her oncoming steps.

   Coming to a stop in front of him, she saw a range of emotions cross his face, from fear to hope to sure letdown.

   "I came to invite you to dinner tonight, with Casey and I."

   Negan's eyes widened in disbelief, and he actually stuttered.

   "Yes, yes, I, of course, I will," he told her, and it was the most ridiculous exchange she had ever experienced with him.

   "Well, you can come over at seven," she told him before walking away, back to Jerika's to get her girl and get her settled. Everything was packed up, and they lugged the bags the short way down the street to her house. When she glanced back at the front, she could see that Negan was still watching her.

   With a roll of her eyes, she and Casey went into the house to get settled and pick out something for dinner.

 


	46. Chapter 46

  
  
   Talia stopped over before she and Rick headed out, and she promised to come back soon to visit, bringing Daryl with her next time. She had gotten a big kick out of Casey and wanted to get to know her better, much to Gina's delight.

   After waving goodbye to her sister, Gina and Casey took the bags upstairs to unpack and get her completely settled. Once all the clothes and toys were put away, Gina sat her down on the bed to talk to her.

   "The man from my room last night is going to be coming over for dinner, okay?"

   Casey looked at her thoughtfully, her chin wrinkling as she pursed her lips. "Are you going to be friends with him?" she asked.

   "I'm going to try," Gina told her as she nodded her head in approval.

   "That's good, Gina," she replied earnestly. "You should have friends for when I'm in school."

   Gina fought to hide her smile as she reached out, tickling her under the chin. "You're just too smart for me, squirt."

   They chatted for a few more minutes until Gina left her playing with her dollhouse to go down and figure out what she was going to make for dinner. After opening and closing the fridge several times, she finally pulled out some fresh fish fillets and some frozen broccoli and cauliflower that she had been saving. She rummaged around in the pantry, pulling out various spices and some powdered cheese sauce, tossing them onto the counter. Once she had everything prepped, she popped the dishes back into the refrigerator while she went up to get ready.

   Stopping in Casey's room, she laid out black leggings, pink socks and a sparkly pink shirt for her to put on, telling her to brush her teeth while Gina got showered. While she initially whined about changing, Casey got up with a grumble and walked into the bathroom, closing the door behind her.

   Shaking her head and wondering idly if this was a taste of what puberty would be like, Gina went into her own room, jumping under the water as soon as it was hot. She found herself getting nervous for some reason that she couldn't quite get a finger on. It finally hit her as she was toweling herself off. She and Negan had never dated. It was simple and absurd at the same time. She'd gone from being scooped up in a basement to a position as a wife right to being in a relationship with him. He'd never had to court her.

   Chuckling darkly to herself, she tried to shake off her anxiety about the upcoming evening. Gina knew deep down in her soul that this was a make or break situation for them.

   If they ever had a chance at something real, it would have to be in a normal situation like this. Reedville was nothing like the Sanctuary, thank God. There wasn't death and destruction around every corner, at least not so far. Would what they had still work in a normal everyday setting? Or was Negan unwittingly telling her the truth when he said he wasn't cut out for this?

   With a sigh, she turned on the hair dryer, flipping her head upside down as she ran the brush through it. Once the curler was properly heated up, she styled it quickly before putting on just a touch of makeup. Gina stood in front of her closet, trying to figure out what to wear when Casey strolled in, dressed in her dinner clothes.

   "What's up, little bug?" she asked as Casey poked her head into the closet, running her hands along the row of clothes.

   "Can you put my hair up?" she requested, holding out a rubber band.

   "Sure," Gina told her, guiding her into the bathroom. Once she brushed the long brown curls up high on the crown of her head, she wrapped the rubber band around it, looping it quickly before smoothing down the strands of hair. "Perfect," she said, squeezing Casey's shoulders. As she resumed her search for the right outfit, Casey tugged on a red sleeveless dress.

   "You should wear this," she told Gina confidently. "It's real pretty."

   "It's a little fancy," Gina replied gently as Casey shrugged.

   "We're having a dinner party," she argued in her little seven-year-old logic.

   Sighing internally, she pulled the dress off the hanger and slipped into it. The material flared out slightly as it brushed her hips, and she smoothed it down nervously.

   Reaching for the little bottle of perfume that sat on her dresser, she spritzed it in the air and walked through, smiling as Casey imitated her movements. She sprayed a touch more and let the girl walk through it before throwing on a pair of heels.

   The two walked down the steps hand in hand and Gina set off for the kitchen to put the fish in the oven. While the water boiled for the vegetables, she took out a jar of freshly canned applesauce and let Casey scoop it out into a bowl.

   The oven timer buzzed just before the doorbell rang, and she hurriedly pulled the dish out as Casey bolted for the entrance. Her heart sped up as she walked into the foyer, just as Casey opened the door. Negan was standing there with a bouquet of wildflowers, which he presented to Casey with a smile. "These are for you, little darlin'," he told her with a wink.

   Casey took them shyly before backing up to tuck herself behind Gina's waist. Negan was dressed in a crisp white button-down shirt and black trousers. The shirt was unbuttoned along the neck, with just a hint of the chest hair that drove her crazy peeking out. He had a little five o'clock shadow and his brown eyes were sparkling, causing her to swallow hard.

   "May I come in?" he asked politely, startling her back to herself.

   "Right, of course," she said as he flashed a toothsome smile, and she tried to will away the butterflies that were causing her stomach to flutter.

   "Casey, I want you to say hello to Negan," she prompted the girl, putting her arm around her shoulders.

   "Hello," she said shyly before burying her face against Gina's midsection.

   He chuckled lightly before squatting down. "It's my honor to have dinner with you two lovely young ladies, this evening."

   Casey turned her head to glance at him before resuming her position against Gina, squeezing her tighter.

   "Come on, shy girl," Gina told her, patting her on the back, "let's get the food on the table." She pointed Negan towards the dining room as Casey released her grip on her waist, following close behind her into the kitchen. Quickly scooping the vegetables into a bowl, she switched off the burners before ladling the cheese sauce into a gravy boat.

   Casey followed her with the applesauce, setting it on the table with a loud thump as Negan placed his napkin on his lap. Hustling back, Gina brought out the fish, placing it on a potholder in the middle of the table. She and Casey sat next to each other in their usual spots, directly across from Negan. Without prompting, Casey took her napkin, tucking it in her shirt as Negan watched with an amused expression.

   The silence was awkward until she gestured to him to serve himself, but he stood up, reaching over to place a piece of fish on Casey's plate, then hers, and his last. When he sat back down, Gina added some vegetables to both girls plates along with some cheese before handing them to Negan, who gave himself a generous portion.

   There were wine glasses already filled in front of the two of them, and another with just grape juice for Casey, and they began to eat in silence, with only the sound of silverware clinking against the plates. The little girl pushed the fish around on her plate as Gina looked at her with one eyebrow raised.

   "Two," she said simply.

   "Six," Gina countered Negan looked on in confusion.

   "Three," Casey replied.

   "Five."

   "Four," they both said at the same time as Casey picked up a bite. "And all the vegetables," Gina added, earning herself a look. Negan's face cleared and she couldn't help but smile at him as she shook her head.

   "So did you catch this fish all by yourself, Casey?" Negan asked with a grin.

   "No, old Buzz did," she informed him as she sat up straighter.

   "How about we just call him Buzz," Gina said as Casey gave her a serious look.

   "But he _is_ old," she reasoned as her eyes narrowed.

   "Well, it's not polite," she chided gently as Casey took another bite of fish.

   After chewing it thoughtfully, she looked at Negan again. "Buzz catches us the fish but he makes us clean them. He says 'if you're gonna eat it, you're gonna clean it'."

   This earned a hearty laugh from Negan before he took a sip of the wine. "I think that's a damn fine rule."

   Casey tugged on her arm, pulling her down as she whispered into Gina's ear. "I know he used a swear word, little bug," she said, shooting him a look.

   "I'm very sorry, ladies," Negan said apologetically. "It won't happen again."

   The rest of the dinner conversation was superficial as Negan peppered Casey with innocuous questions, asking what her favorite color was and if she liked living by the ocean. It gave Gina a chance to get lost inside her own head for a bit as she found herself watching Negan. Despite how much his leaving her had hurt her, she still felt a pull towards him. She still wanted him, and she wanted him to love her completely. But she came with a caveat now, and that was Casey. And she wasn't sure if that was going to be an issue going forward if they were able to move past the old wounds.

   When everyone had eaten their fill, Gina stood up, going into the study, returning with a workbook and a pencil, placing it in front of Casey as she picked up her plate.

   "Oh, man," she moaned as Gina tapped on the front with her fingernail.

   "School starts in a few days," she reminded her, "and you want Miss Tina to know how smart you are. So if you want to watch a movie after I'm done cleaning up, you'll get hopping."

   Casey mumbled under her breath, and the only words she could make out were 'stupid' and 'work', and she very nearly laughed out loud.

   Negan offered to help her clean up, but she declined politely, lugging everything into the kitchen as he remained seated at the table. By the time she was done, she found them sitting shoulder to shoulder as he helped her practice writing her letters and words. Leaning against the doorway, she watched as he encouraged her to sound out the words, praising her when she got them right. Fighting the urge to tear up, she cleared her throat, causing both of them to look up quickly.

   "Why don't you go pick out a movie?" she told Casey, who shut the workbook and took off skipping towards the living room. Negan stood up, handing her the pencil and book, their fingers brushing as she took them and walked them back to the study. Her hands were tingling where they touched, and she didn't know how much more she could take. Leaning her hands on the desk, she took a deep breath, jumping slightly when she felt warm hands on her back.

   Turning around, she faced him as he backed her up to the edge of the desk, running his finger along the neckline of her dress. _Damn this man_.

   "Negan..."

   He leaned his head towards her, and she could feel his warm breath on her lips. Just before he could kiss her, Casey called out for them to come on, and she laid her hands on his chest, pushing him away as she stepped around him, rubbing the back of her neck. He smelled so good, and it was filling her head, making her mind swim.

   Casey was standing next to the television, holding up her Frozen DVD, bouncing from foot to foot impatiently. Gina took it from her and put it in the player, turning on the tv.

   When she turned around, Negan was sitting on the couch with his legs crossed. She took the seat on the opposite end, as far from him as she could, kicking off her heels and tucking her legs underneath her. Every nerve on the side of her body that was closest to him was burning as she tried to concentrate on the screen.

   As the movie began, Casey came to stand near her knees, leaning on them as she began to sing along, and Gina ran her fingernails through her ponytail absently, acutely aware of every move that Negan made. About halfway through, Casey climbed in between them, her tiny hand playing with the cuff of Negan's shirt as she watched the screen, and she saw him glance down at her before looking at Gina nervously.

   She fought the urge to laugh hysterically as she kept her eyes on the screen, and by the time the movie ended, Casey was leaning fully against Negan's arm, resting her head against him. He was sitting stiffly, apparently afraid to move, and Gina pressed the button on the remote, turning the tv off.

   "It's time for bed," she told Casey, who yawned before insisting that she wasn't tired. "Tough," she replied, pulling her to her feet.

   "Say goodnight to Negan," Gina said as she lifted the little girl into her arms.

   "Goodnight to Negan," she repeated, giggling at her own joke as Negan waved to her with a grin. Rolling her eyes with a smile, she carried her up the steps, stopping in to brush her teeth. After putting her in her pajamas, she sat on the bed, leaning over Casey so that they were face to face.

   "He's handsome," she said as she looked up at Gina. "Like a prince."

   "You think so?"

   "Uh huh," Casey answered, nodding her head for emphasis. "You should kiss him so that he can break the spell."

   "What spell?" Gina asked, cocking her head.

   "The one that makes you sad. If he breaks it, you won't cry anymore."

   Gina's throat seized up as she looked down into those big green eyes. "I'll think about it," she managed to choke out before kissing each cheek and pretending to bite her neck, causing Casey to erupt into giggles. A few minutes later, she closed the door and walked down the hall, taking the steps lightly.

   Negan was still sitting on the couch, taking a sip of wine. He had brought her glass in as well, and it was sitting on the coffee table just inches from him. She sat back in her original position, however, she turned to face him.

   "That kid is a trip," he said as he turned towards her.

   "You were really good with her," she told him as he shrugged.

   "I was a teacher."

   Her eyes bugged out as her mouth dropped, causing him to grin. "Gym teacher," he clarified as she reached for her wine.

   "Why didn't you ever tell me that?" she asked after taking a long drink.

   "I wasn't real big on sharing at the time," he admitted. "One of the many fucking issues I've had to work through."

   "And what are the other issues?"

   "Putting Lucille in the past," Negan said as she frowned at him.

   "Your bat?" Her voice was doubtful.

   "No, my wife."

   If she had been holding her wine, she was sure she would have dropped it. He smiled sadly at her as she linked her hands together, wrapping them around her knees.

   "I told you that I was a shitty husband," he reminded her as she watched him stare over her shoulder. "She got cancer right before the fucking dead starting walking around. I did the best I could to take care of her, but she died. She died and I didn't even have the balls to make sure she didn't turn."

   "I'm sorry," she said softly as he refocused on her.

   "Once she was gone, I was alone. Really and truly alone. And I swore to myself that I'd stay that way. That I'd never let myself care for anyone the way I cared for her. I realized just how much I loved her when it was too fucking late to do anything about it."

   Gina bit her lip as he watched her. "And I almost did the same damn thing with you. I know I've screwed up too many times to count," he told her emphatically, resting his hand on her foot. "I don't expect you to forgive me right away, but I'll do anything to prove to you that I'm serious. I'm in it for the long haul."

   "Do you want to know what Casey just told me when I put her in bed?"

   His hand squeezed her foot gently as she looked up at him, her eyes glassy. "She told me that you were as handsome as a prince."

   He smiled until she continued. "She also told me that I should let you kiss me so that you could break the spell I was under. The one that makes me sad and cry."

   Negan's face clouded over as he retracted his hand, running it through is hair.

   "I love you, Negan, God help me I do. But it's not just me anymore. For better or worse, when you did what you did, it changed the entire trajectory of my life."

   He leaned forward, placing his head in his hands as she sat up, touching him gently on his shoulder. "I don't know what you want for the rest of your life, and we've never talked about the future, because let's face it, we didn't even know if there was going to be a future. But Casey is mine now, and I love her."

   Negan looked her in the eyes, taking her hand in his and placing it to his cheek. "All I'm asking for is a chance."

   Gina put her other hand on his face, rubbing her thumbs back and forth as his eyes closed. "Don't break my heart again, asshole."

   His face broke into a wide smile as he laughed. "God damn, I've missed that."

   She pulled him towards her, finally kissing him as her heart caught fire. Negan pushed her back onto the couch, crawling on top of her as she hitched her legs around her waist. She felt like a teenager as they did nothing more than make out, exploring each other as if it was the first time. His hands moved up and down her body, from her neck to her chest and all along her hips before hooking behind her knees so that he could angle himself against her torso.

   While he was doing that, she buried herself in his neck, sucking on the supple skin as she breathed deeply, committing his scent to her memory, determined to never be without it again. It was only after running her tongue along his collarbone that she broke apart from him, easing him away from her. She was aching to the core, but she stood up, ushering him towards the door.

   "You've got to be kidding me," he moaned, adjusting himself with a wince of pain.

   "Not tonight," she muttered, out of breath. "We just got back on the same page, so we're not going to rush it."

   With a superhuman effort, he nodded his head as he walked stiffly to the door, giving her a quick kiss on the forehead. She followed him out onto the porch as he tried to collect himself. When he reached the walkway she called out softly to him.

   "Hey, Negan?"

   He turned back to look at her and she grinned at him.

   "Now we're even. See you tomorrow."


	47. Chapter 47

Gina, Negan and Casey had dinner together the following two nights. Because she didn't want to disrupt the little girl's life right away, Gina insisted on keeping things semi-platonic until she broached the subject. The problem was, she wasn't sure how to go about it. Casey had gone from losing her parents to splitting her time between two houses, to finally getting settled with Gina. So she observed her interactions with Negan as they got to know each other. 

During the second evening, Casey seemed much more open towards Negan, and he to her. They continued to get to know each other, and when they adjourned to the living room for yet another movie, he helped her pick one out. They both settled on Monsters, Inc., and he listened attentively to her as she explained the characters and plot to him. 

Gina sat on the far end of the couch again, and Casey sat between them, swinging her legs back and forth before edging closer to Negan. She caught him looking down at Casey occasionally, just watching her as she mouthed the lines along to the movie, and she couldn't help but smile to herself. This was a side of him that Gina had obviously never seen before, since he hadn't had much to do with the children and the Sanctuary, and she found it strangely alluring. 

Negan exuded a primal, masculine sexuality, but watching him treat Casey so gently and respectfully made her want him even more. So much so, that she nearly broke her own rule about not rushing things after she put Casey to bed. He had been standing by the entrance, glancing out the window, and she had come up behind him, placing her hands on his waist, causing him to turn around. 

His hands came up to her face immediately, pulling her towards him as he kissed her deeply, causing her to grab his ass, pushing her body into his as he groaned into her mouth. It was only when he tried to steer her towards the couch that she came back to her senses, though it took nerves of steel. As much as he seemed to want her, she thought that it was still harder for her to stop. They hadn't slept together in a year, and it was dominating her thoughts. 

"Can you hang in there a little longer?" she whispered as he unconsciously ground himself against her. 

"How much longer?" His voice was as rough as sandpaper as she dropped her hands, shaking them slightly as if it could remove the feel of him from her skin.

"The night after tomorrow," she promised as his hands squeezed the back of her neck slightly. "I'll see if Jerika can take her for the night."

"Do you know how badly I want to throw you over my shoulder and carry you upstairs?" he asked her as she shivered slightly, imagining it.

"I know how badly I want you to do it," she told him as she placed her hand over his heart. 

He tilted his head so that their foreheads were touching. "Casey," he guessed as she nodded her head. 

"I just want to make sure we don't overwhelm her," Gina explained as he gave her a crooked smile.

"I understand," he reassured her. "She's really growing on me, I have to say."

A wide smile formed on her lips as her hand clenched his shirt, and she kissed him softly. "You have no idea how happy I am to hear that. Our entire relationship has been ass backward, and I want us to change that."

"Don't say that," he replied as he tugged on her hair lightly.

"Why?"

"Because now I'm picturing taking you from behind," he told her, leering at her. 

"Good lord," she muttered as he released her. 

"So old lefty it is for two more nights," he mumbled as he walked towards the door. 

"You're a good man," she said as he walked out into the night.

"Yeah, yeah," he called over his shoulder as he disappeared into the darkness.

The next morning, she woke Casey up so that they could go help out in the gardens. The residents were working hard to get the last of the fall harvest picked so that it could be canned for the winter months, and they got to work, picking vegetables until after lunch, stopping only for a few bites. Casey wandered over to the other children that were helping, and they played more than they worked, but it kept her engaged while Gina did her share.

Negan was waiting for them when they got back to the house, and Casey ran up the steps to greet him, letting him lift her up. He carried her into the house, babbling happily about how hard she worked, and the friends she made. Gina followed behind, covered in dirt, her muscles aching from being hunched over most of the day. 

She excused herself to get showered, and when she came back downstairs, the two had dinner ready and waiting. Negan had fixed them spaghetti, and they sat together as they ate, talking about their day. Once again, his patrol on the wall was uneventful, and Jerika had returned from her trip, loaded down with fresh pork and eggs from one of the communities that they traded with. The community was situated on a large farm and had been able to keep livestock alive for the entire duration of the apocalypse. She would be handing out rations tomorrow, so Gina made a mental note to see her early to secure her babysitting services for the night.

That night, instead of watching a movie, they took a walk around the town. It was a warm evening, and she was secretly glad to not be in the house with Negan, determined to hold on for one more night. Since they were in public, the temptation would be lessened, and with prying eyes, she knew that he wouldn't make any overtures. 

Instead, Casey took each of them by the hand as they walked slowly down the street towards the public dock. As they approached, Buzz was steering his ship into the bay, so the three stood and watched. When the boat tapped gently up against the boards, he threw the rope over as one of the deck hands looped it around the anchor, waving to Casey, who was jumping up and down as Negan and Gina held her hands.

"Well, if it isn't my favorite first mate," he shouted as he jumped down from the edge, mussing up her hair. 

"Did you bring back more fish?" she asked as he took off his cap, smoothing his hair back.

"I brought back something even better," Buzz told her with a wink before disappearing back into the boat. When he returned, he was holding something behind his back as she tried to peek around him. With a flourish, he presented her with a crab, whose legs were waving back and forth, causing her to screech with delight.

Men were bustling back and forth as they hoisted large nets from the boat, causing all of them to take a step back. 

"Have you ever tasted blue crab, first mate?" Buzz asked her as she leaned forward, watching the crustacean move with interest.

"Yep," she said, her fingers tightening around Gina's hand. "My mommy and daddy used to take us to the restaurant by the beach. Mommy would crack them open for me."

"Well, I'll teach ya how to do it, and we'll have a big crab boil. How's that sound?"

Casey nodded her head up and down so fast that Gina burst out laughing. When the sun started to set, they began to head back towards the house, letting her run ahead of them. Negan took her by they hand as they walked slowly behind her. 

"Well, she didn't get upset when she talked about her parents. That's a good thing," she observed as Negan glanced over at her.

"How did they die?" he asked as she continued to watch Casey, who was several feet ahead of them.

"They both went out on a run not long after they got here, I guess. Jerika told me they encountered a herd, and the other person that was with them was the only one that was able to escape. He said that they were surrounded so quickly that they had almost no time to react. Apparently, they weren't keeping watch when they were working on clearing out a store."

"Well that was fucking careless," he said bitterly as his eyes followed her. "They should have never gone out together."

"Probably not. Jerika felt guilty after, and took Casey in."

He let out a huff, and she gripped his hand tighter before calling out for Casey to slow down. She skidded to a stop as she turned, looking at them. "Hurry up!" she called, placing her hands on her hips. 

"Old Buzz isn't that slow," she said as they reached her, causing Gina to stare her down. 

"What did I tell you about that, young lady?" she admonished as Casey glared at her. "You're being very rude."

"I want to go home," she said, stomping her feet. "I want my mommy and daddy and I want to go home."

"Casey," Gina began, but she put her hands over her ears. 

"Let me," Negan told her, scooping Casey up as she began to cry. She kicked her legs out as he carried her swiftly to the house with Gina hot on his heels. Once they were inside, he set her on the couch, and they let her cry, getting out her frustration. Once she calmed down, Gina sat down next to her.

"I wish your mommy and daddy were here, little bug, I really do," she said as Casey took hiccupping breaths. "And it's okay to be sad, and mad about it."

"Why did they have to die?" she asked forlornly as Gina looked at Negan helplessly.

He got down on his knees in front of her, taking her hand in his as she stared down at her legs. "Your mom and dad were very brave. The worked hard to keep you safe, and they're watching over you in heaven. I don't know why they had to die, but they loved you. And they only wanted you to grow up safe and happy, and we're going to do everything we can to make sure that happens. I promise."

Casey was quiet for a few moments before looking up at Negan. "Do you pinky swear?" 

He stuck out his finger, linking it with hers. "I swear."

Letting out a shuddering breath, she leaned forward and he took her into his arms, hugging her tightly. Negan looked over at Gina, smiling sadly as he stood up, carrying her towards the stairs. The three went up to her bedroom, and Gina bent down pulling off her shoes and socks before bringing her a nightgown, sliding it over her head. Casey followed her into the bathroom and she handed her the little pink toothbrush, leaning against the sink as she brushed her teeth. 

When they went back into the bedroom, Negan had pulled down the covers and she climbed in, laying on her back as he covered her up. "Do you want Gina to read you a story?" he asked kindly as she shook her head. "Do you want me to read it to you?" That got a nod, and Gina pulled a book out from her bookcase, handing it to him with a tight smile. Bending down, she kissed Casey on the head before leaving them alone.

Briefly considering just heading to her room, she instead turned back towards the stairs, walking down with heavy steps and veering into the kitchen. She knew if she stayed upstairs, they would end up in bed, so she took out her whiskey, pouring a shot and throwing it back before taking another glass from the cupboard and carrying them into the living room.

Twenty minutes later, she could hear Negan descend to the main level and he sat down heavily next to her. She poured him some of the whiskey and he threw it back faster than she did. 

"Well, that fucking sucked," he said as she curled up next to him. He put his arm around her, pulling her tighter as she draped her arm across his chest. 

"I really thought she was getting better," Gina murmured as she gazed up at him.

"It's only been a few weeks," he reminded her. "That's not very long. She's probably going to lash out for a while."

"I know," she agreed with a sigh. "I just wish I could take the pain away for her."

"It will get easier in time," he assured her. 

"Are you sure you're up for this?" she asked hesitantly as she stroked his neck with her fingertips. "I know this wasn't what you were expecting when you came back."

Negan kissed her on the forehead, leaving his lips there for a moment. "Trust me, darlin'."

They laid together on the couch for a while, just comforting each other and talking about how to best help Casey. Since she was forming a bond with Negan, Gina thought that he should be around more, and after their alone time tomorrow night they should broach the subject of him moving in if it wasn't too fast for Casey. Negan was a little less unsure, but he was willing to talk to her about it.

When the hour grew late, he stood up, helping Gina to her feet. She followed him to the door, and this kiss was more loving, had more feeling than the previous nights. He promised to be over early after she got Jerika to watch Casey so that they can have some adult time before talking with her about Negan moving in.

Gina watched him leave, filled with a longing for him to be here, to hold her. It didn't even have to be about sex. She just wanted him. Hopefully, tomorrow would be better.


	48. Chapter 48

  
  
   The feel of a small hand smacking her in the face woke Gina out of a sound sleep. Her cheek was stinging as she opened her eyes and felt her skin. Casey's arm was splayed across her nose, and she lifted it gently, easing it down onto the mattress, where the little girl was laying on her back, her hair spilling out over the pillow. Sometime during the night, she had crawled into Gina's bed without her even noticing.

   The sunlight was filtering through the gauzy curtains, signaling the start of another day, one of her last before Casey started school, and Gina would begin working on the security team as Jerika had ordered in order to keep her near the town. She'd be going out with the four or five others who patrolled around the outskirts of Reedville, and it was the perfect job for her. Her shift would be during the day while Casey was at school, the same time that Negan would be on the walls, leaving them the evenings together.

   Rising quietly, she left the door open as she walked down the hall, stretching her arms above her head and cracking her neck as she padded down the steps towards the kitchen. She only made it to the dining room before hearing a soft knock on the door. When she went back, she peered out the window before opening it with a smile.

   Negan was standing there with two mugs in his hand, and she waved him in. He bent down to kiss her, but she tilted her head away from him, holding her hand in front of her mouth. "I literally just woke up," she told him, "and I haven't brushed my teeth yet."

   "Does this look like a face that gives a shit?" he asked with a grin, settling for a kiss on the cheek.

   She took one of the cups that he was holding, breathing in the steaming scent before taking a tentative sip. It was still hot, and she set it down on the table as he pulled out a chair.

   "Is the kid still sleeping?" he wondered as she sat down next to him, her fingers moving slowly around the rim of the mug.

   "She's in my bed," Gina said as she crossed her legs, her foot bobbing up and down. "I didn't even realize it until I got smacked in the face just a minute ago."

   "Poor baby," he drawled as he put his hand on her thigh, squeezing it. "Do you want me to kiss it and make it better?"

   "I want you to kiss a lot of things," she shot back, looking at him out of the corner of her eye. "I have big plans for you tonight."

   His fingers slid up higher as he let out a guttural sound. "I can't believe it's been a fucking year," he said as he began to knead her skin gently.

   "Huh," she said with a mischevious grin. "It's only been about six months for me."

   His hand clamped down tighter as she squirmed, and he didn't look amused. "You and that smart mouth," he warned her as she let out a throaty laugh.

   "You can punish me later," she said as the sound of footsteps overhead got closer. Casey came down, her hair standing up every which way as Negan got up from the chair.

   "Hey, peanut," he said with a smile as she traipsed towards him, giving Negan a quick hug around his side before making her way to the table. "I'll see you two beauties later," he told the two as he strolled towards the door. Gina watched him leave, thinking dirty thoughts until Casey let out a tiny yawn.

   "How does oatmeal sound?" she asked as Casey nodded her head, her hands tapping on the table. "Did you sleep okay, little bug?" she questioned, standing up and walking towards the kitchen.

   "I had a bad dream, so I came into your room," Casey stated as Gina smiled at her.

   "I know," she called out behind her, "I saw you when I woke up."

   After fixing a bowl for each of them, she carried them back into the dining room, setting them down gently as she resumed her spot. In between bites, Casey fiddled with her spoon, picking up a scoop of oatmeal and letting it drop back into the bowl, where it made a wet plop.

   "Something on your mind?" Gina asked as Casey shrugged. "You can tell me anything, you know."

   Plop. Another scoop hit the bowl as her legs moved back and forth rapidly. Gina waited patiently, trying not to pressure her. If she wanted to talk about her parents, she wanted to give her the freedom to do so. But that wasn't it, apparently.

   "Is Negan going to be part of our family?" she asked, turning to look up at Gina. She didn't look upset, only curious.

   "Um," Gina floundered, cursing him mentally for leaving, "do you want him to be part of our family?"

   "I like him," she replied, letting the spoon go. "He's nice to me and he makes you smile. Do you like him?"

   Brushing her hair with her fingers, she lifted Casey out of her seat, placing her on her lap. "To tell you the truth, bug, I do. Remember when you asked me if he was my boyfriend?"

   "Uh huh."

   "Well, he was my boyfriend, but we broke up for a little bit."

   "How come?" she wanted to know, fiddling with the button on Gina's shirt.

   She took a deep breath as she tried to think of the best way to explain. "We love each other very much, but sometimes, even when you do, you don't always agree on things. So we had a fight, and decided to take some time apart for a while."

   "But you made up, right?"

   "Yes, we did," she assured her, hugging her a little tighter. "But if you don't want him around all the time, we'll figure it out. I don't want you to worry about anything."

   "No," she said after a brief pause, "I think he should live here. I like when he's around."

   "How about this," Gina offered as she kissed her on the head, "you keep getting to know him, and if you still feel okay, we'll see if he wants to spend the night soon? Then if you're still comfortable, we'll go from there."

   "Can we still watch movies?" Casey asked as Gina tickled her.

   "As long as we take a break from Frozen," she teased as Casey giggled. "I can sing that entire movie in my sleep."

   Once the oatmeal was eaten, they carried their bowls into the kitchen, washing them quickly before going upstairs to get dressed. Casey was due for a bath, so Gina got her set up in the tub, forgoing a shower until later. She wasn't sure if Casey understood everything she said about Negan, but it was a first step. He'd only been in her life for a few days, and she had no intention of rushing anything where the girl was concerned, but it made her happy to know that it hadn't upset her at all when she brought up him spending the night.

   After dressing in a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, she went back in, laying out clothes on Casey's bed before going in to make sure she was clean. Once her hair was shampooed and conditioned, Gina dried her off before sending her into her room to get dressed. Waiting patiently for her to tie her shoes, Gina stripped her bed, telling her to come down with a comb while she went to do the same with her own sheets, starting a load of laundry before they left.

   By the time they headed out towards the docks, the town was in full swing, and she stopped several times to chat with some of the residents, including Tina, who ran the tiny school out of her house. She had been a teacher's assistant in the local school system. Greeting Casey warmly, she bent down and told her how excited she was to have her join the kids in a few days.

   While Tina's daughter led her over to the yard, the petite blonde gave Gina a conspiratorial smile as she looked over her shoulder towards the wall.

   "Have you seen the new guy that got here a few days ago?" she asked, licking her lips slightly.

   "Which new guy?" Gina asked innocently before glancing over at Casey to make sure she was out of earshot.

   "Tall, dark and handsome," Tina said as she shifted slightly to get a better view. "I'm telling you, he's sex on a stick."

   "Why, Miss Tina," Gina replied with mock surprise, "I had no idea you were so naughty."

   "I'm widowed, not dead," Tina told her with a grin. "I've been trying to get his attention for days."

   "No luck?" she inquired sympathetically. She wasn't jealous. In fact, she understood Tina's reaction completely. Negan had that effect whether he was trying to or not. She remembered back when she woke up in the infirmary at the Sanctuary to find him watching her. His brown eyes gazing down at her, his long, slim fingers stroking his chin as he looked her up and down. Given her condition, it wasn't sexual, but he couldn't help the sensual vibes that permeated everything he did.

   "No," Tina admitted. "It's a shame," she said with a sigh before turning her attention back to Gina.

   "Tina, I don't want there to be any awkwardness between us, so I'm just going to come out and say it," Gina told her, smiling gently. "His name is Negan, and he and I are..."

   Tina's eyes widened as her cheeks turned bright red. "I'm so sorry," she apologized, "I had no idea."

   "How could you have known?" Gina told her, touching her on the shoulder lightly.

   "Could we please forget this conversation ever happened?" she begged, clearly mortified.

   "It's already forgotten," Gina assured her as they stood there in an uncomfortable silence. "Casey," she finally called, alerting the girl that they were moving on.

   "Well, we'll see you in a few days," Gina told her pleasantly before taking Casey by the hand. When they got a few steps away, she chuckled to herself as Casey swung their arms back and forth.

   Buzz waved them into the building, and they knocked on Jerika's office, opening the door after she told them to come in. Her face lit up when she saw who was visiting, and Casey ran to give her a hug. Climbing up on Jerika's lap, she let the older woman baby her, cooing to her at how big she was getting, as if she hadn't just seen her a few days before.

   "I heard your trip was a success," Gina said as she sat down in the very chair that started her journey here.

   "It went very well," Jerika said with a smile before rubbing her jaw.

   "Everything okay?" she asked with concern.

   Jerika waved her hand dismissively. "Just getting a toothache, I think. I'll have Doctor Thomas check on me tomorrow. He's dealing with several people who have the flu. I'll just eat soft crabmeat tonight for dinner."

   "Crab?" Casey piped up with a smile. "Is ol-, I mean is Buzz making the crabs boil?"

   "I do believe he is," Jerika told her indulgently. "Would you like to come and join us?"

   Casey turned to Gina, eyes wide, "Can I? Can I?"

   "I think that can be arranged," she said, winking at Jerika, whose head cocked to the side. While Casey was occupied, she whispered softly. "Can she sleep over at your house tonight?"

   "Casey, we're going to be cooking them once it gets dark, so I think you should spend the night, all right?"

   Casey again looked at Gina, this time her eyes pleading. "Can I please?"

   "Oh, all right," she pretended to grumble, "but just for tonight, because school starts in two days."

   "What time should I drop her off?" Gina asked as Jerika gave her an 'I know what you're doing' smile.

   "Five o'clock should be fine," Jerika said, her hands running through Casey's hair. Jerika knew that Negan would be done by five-thirty, so this set everything up perfectly.

   All three got up, and Jerika led them into the storage area, which had just been replenished from her recent trip. Once they signed in, Gina and Casey walked through the aisles, loading up their canvas bags with food and toiletries. Bernard, the man who kept track of their supplies had checked off enough for three people after a quick discussion with Jerika, so Gina tried to grab things that would suit them all.

   Once they were back at home, she put everything away before packing a bag for Casey and remaking the beds. The only thing left to do was wait, so the two went into the pink bedroom, and she and Casey sat on the floor, playing with the dollhouse. Time seemed to move backward, and it didn't help that she kept glancing at the clock every five minutes.

   Finally, at a quarter to five, they rounded up Casey's things and headed down the street towards Jerika's house. Unable to help herself, Gina scanned the wall as they walked, but she couldn't see Negan. Knocking lightly on Jerika's door, they waited patiently until she welcomed them in. She was still rubbing her jaw, and Gina asked her once again if she was sure she wanted to take Casey for the night.

   "I'm fine," the older woman reassured her. "It'll probably be an early night for us, though."

   "Well, I'll be by first thing in the morning so that you can relax tomorrow," Gina promised.

   "Take your time," Jerika said with a wink. "Come on, Casey," she said, extending her hand. "Buzz is getting the water ready for the crabs."

   Gina bent down, hugging her tightly. "I love you, little bug. I'll see you in the morning."

   "I love you, too," she said before hopping off, questioning Jerika about the upcoming meal. She watched the two walk away before backing out the door.

   Hustling back to her house, she flew up the steps to shower, anxious for the evening to arrive. It may be juvenile, but she felt like a teenaged girl who had planned out the night she was going to lose her virginity. In truth, Gina had lost hers in the back of an SUV with her high school boyfriend just after their junior prom. It had been painful and unenjoyable, to say the least, all fumbling hands and quick thrusts.

   But now, she was a grown woman who knew exactly what she liked, and Negan was a man who definitely knew what he was doing. Her stomach tensed up in anticipation as she hurriedly cleaned herself. Once her hair was dried and her skin was smooth, she slipped on an oversized shirt and nothing else before walking over to her window. It didn't take her long to spot him as he headed towards the house. Just before he reached the porch, she let the curtain fall back against the window, walking out of her room and down the steps.

   Gina's feet hit the floor as he walked in, his eyes narrowing as she crossed the foyer towards him. Before he could say anything, she backed him up against the door, pulling his shirt free from his pants, running her hands up his chest. "Take your clothes off," she ordered as he clenched her shoulders, squeezing them tightly.

   "I thought I'd get a shower first," he told her as she tilted her head up, her lips parting slightly.

   "Do you have any walker blood on you?" Gina questioned as her nails curled against his skin, her thumbs rubbing back and forth before she pressed her chest against his.

   "No," he replied, one eyebrow raising slightly. The corners of her mouth turned up as she took him by the waist, leading him towards the living room. Her hands were steady as she unbuttoned his pants, sliding them down and taking him in her palm, rubbing slowly as he sprang to life with a moan.

   "Then take your fucking clothes off," she repeated before standing on her tiptoes to kiss him. She was throbbing with anticipation, every stroke of his tongue against hers causing another wave of arousal between her legs. Biting his lip gently, she stepped back as he whipped his shirt off, tossing it behind the couch, and she bent down to push his jeans and boxers all of the way down. Negan kicked his legs free just before she pushed him down roughly onto the couch.

   Taking her own shirt in her hands, Gina lifted over her head before she flipped it over her shoulder, taking his outstretched hands as she placed one knee on either side of him so that she was hovering above him. There was no time for foreplay, she needed him immediately. She descended on him slowly, easing him inside her with one hand as his eyes rolled back. Once he was completely within her, Gina began to move up and down slowly, rediscovering how good he felt.

   Negan tipped his head forward, and his mouth attached itself to her breasts, moving between them as her fingers wound their way into his hair, pulling at it slightly while her hips began to move. Cupping her breasts, he ran his thumbs around her hardened nipples which sent ripples of pleasure all the way down to her core.

   "Did you miss me?" she panted as he let out a growl.

   "Baby, I missed every inch of you," he groaned into her mouth as she sped up slightly.

   "Tell me," she commanded as he leaned back, letting her have complete control. Her tongue flicked over his earlobe as she took it in between her teeth, tugging slightly.

   "I thought about you every fucking night," he said, struggling to get the words out in between moans. Reaching down to her chest, she took him by the wrists, pinning his hands against the couch cushions, her hips never stopping. Gina moved her head down to his neck, sucking hard. "I would imagine you on top of me, doing exactly what you're doing," he continued, his voice giving out here and there.

   "And? What did you do?" She could feel him struggling slightly against her hands, so she pushed them further into the pillow. "Tell me," she repeated, letting her nails pinch his skin. "Did you stroke yourself, pretending it was me?"

   "Yes," he snarled as she slowed her pace, not wanting him to come too quickly.

   "Good," she said with a wicked smile, her eyes locking on his as she kissed him, pushing her way into his mouth, her hips bucking up and down swiftly until she felt his muscles contracting against her. He came, slamming himself up against her as he swore, and she released his hands, letting him dig his fingers into her hips as she tightened around him. He shuddered slightly as she leaned against him, his chest hair brushing against her bare breasts, laying her head on his shoulder while he continued to spasm slightly.

   Gina peppered him with gentle kisses on his neck while he recovered, enjoying the feel of him inside her after not having him for so long. The last time they had made love, it had been with her in tears, terrified that she would never see him again.

   Once he stilled underneath her, she sat up as he ran his hands up and down her spine. Negan was watching her with half opened eyes as he recovered, while she gently traced her fingers over his scar, faded from a year of recovery. It felt like a lifetime ago when she found out he'd been shot, trapped in a war that would never end, and now they were in a new community, and he was treating her as an equal, a partner instead of someone to be protected.

   "That was..." he finally said, trying to find the words to describe it as she ran her tongue across her top lip.

   "Just the beginning," she interrupted as she swung her leg up and over him so that she was kneeling next to him on the couch.

   "As soon as I catch my breath, you are going to fucking get it," he warned her as one side of her mouth rose up.

   "You'll have to catch me first, old man," she taunted, standing up and heading for the stairs.

   He was a few feet behind her as she took off, laughing the whole way up the steps.


	49. Chapter 49

  
  
   Reaching out with one arm, Gina turned on the shower, wiggling her fingers under the spray as it warmed up. She was covered in sticky sweat and her hair hanging limply against her back. She and Negan had engaged in two extreme bouts of sex, once on the bed and one time on the floor. Her knees were still red from kneeling down as he took her from behind, and her backside was pink from his large hands spanking her repeatedly, a punishment that he doled out in revenge for her earlier antics. She'd never been into rough play before, but she couldn't deny that it had turned her on during the act.

   The sun had set long ago, and she stepped under the water, letting it fall on her face as she ran her hands through her hair, lifting it off of her neck before turning around. She was in no hurry to finish, waiting for Negan to join her after he returned from the kitchen with food and drinks for them. Since his clothes were still laying on the floor of the living room, he'd wrapped the little afghan from the foot of the bed around his waist before he left.

   Gina knew that they wouldn't be able to keep up the frantic pace they'd been moving at, but it felt like they were making up for so much lost time. For her at least, it wasn't even just the pent up sexual release, it was the intimacy that came from sharing herself with him at her most vulnerable, both her naked body and soul. The feel of his skin on hers said as much to her as his words did.

   Smiling to herself, she poured the shampoo into her palm, lathering up her hair as she hummed to herself. The curtain opened as she was rinsing the bubbles out, and Negan stepped in with her, joining her under the warm spray.

   "This feels familiar," he said in an amused voice before tilting his head towards the water, letting it hit him square in the face. Gina added conditioner to her hair before getting her washcloth soapy, bringing it up to his shoulders and running across his back. Negan stood in one spot as she ran her hands over the back of his body, swirling the washcloth around in circles as he grunted in approval.

   "Let me under," she told him, tugging him back slightly so that she could rinse her hair again. Sliding past him, he ran his hands along her chest before taking the cloth from her. When he saw that her ass was still pink, he rubbed the spots gently. "I'm sorry, doll," he murmured, kissing the back of her neck.

   "Don't be," she replied, glancing over her shoulder with a smile. "I enjoyed it."

   "Really?" He seemed surprised but pleased as she ran her fingers through her hair to allow the water to reach all of her hair. "You continue to astonish me."

   When she was done, Gina wrapped arms around his neck, kissing him softly. "Isn't that a good thing?" she asked with a wink, pressing her body against his. The washcloth left his hands, landing on the floor of the tub with a soft thump.

   "Easy, girl," he muttered, though his hands made their way down her waist before coming back up to cup the sides of her breasts.

   "Oh, okay," she conceded, letting go of him. "I know you need some time to recover, given your advanced age."

   "How fucking old do you think I am?" he snapped, though there was no malice behind it.

   "Sixty?" she guessed with a straight face. "I'm going by the amount of gray in your beard."

   "What the fuck did I tell you about your smart mouth?" Negan warned her as she turned the water off. He pulled the shower curtain open roughly, spattering her with water.

   "Oh my God, I'm just kidding," she said tartly as she reached for a towel, tossing it into his face. "I didn't realize you were so sensitive about your age."

   "I'm not," he countered as she looked at him with narrowed eyes. "I'm just well aware of our age difference, thank you very fucking much."

   "Wait a minute," she replied, her hand holding her own towel mid-air between them. "How old do you think I am?"

   He seemed hesitant to reply, possibly afraid of offending her.

   "Twenty-four?"

   It took everything in her not to react, and she impressed herself that she was able to keep her face smooth. Without responding, Gina held the absorbent material along the front of her body, stepping down onto the plush rug and walking into the bedroom. Thank God he was still behind her as she wrapped her hair in the towel before rummaging around in her drawers for some panties and a nightgown.

   "How old are you?" he pressed as he stepped out into the bedroom, rubbing his head dry.

   "I asked you first," she countered, sticking her arms through the straps and pulling the material down.

   "Forty-seven," he grumbled as he watched her closely. Gina backed up, sitting carefully on the bed next to the plate of apples and peanut butter that he had placed there.

   "Well?" he asked as he advanced towards her, coming to stand between her knees. Leaning back on her arms, she lifted her legs, pressing her feet against his chest, keeping her mouth shut. Sliding the plate further away, Gina let her head fall back onto the bed as Negan spread her thighs before crawling on top of her.

   "I'm thirty-three, you pervert," she finally told him as he grinned. "I can't believe you thought I was young enough to be your daughter."

   "What can I say?" he said as he looked down at her suggestively. "I like 'em nubile."

   If their food wasn't sitting right next to them, she would have flipped him over, but she settled for squeezing him between her legs, tightening them harder as he grimaced lightly.

   "You're a pig," she shot back as Negan pressed himself firmly against her.

   "Yes, I am," he replied without any shame, pushing his head down to kiss her. She kept her lips closed as his tongue tried to gain entrance, opening only when his fingers tickled her sides, causing her to laugh unwittingly. Satisfied, he backed himself off of her before crawling around to the other side of the bed and leaning against the headboard.

   Gina sat up and swung herself around to face him, placing the food between them. They each took a slice of the cut apple, dipping it into the peanut butter.

   "Hmm," she muttered to herself while she chewed, thinking hard.

   "What?" Negan queried, licking some peanut butter off his finger.

   "I'm not sure I should tell you, at the risk of inflating your already enormous ego," she mumbled as she popped the remaining piece into her mouth.

   "Is it about the blonde?" he guessed as he picked up another piece, watching her closely.

   Gina's eyes narrowed suspiciously as she cocked her head to the side. "What blonde?"

   Negan smirked as he looked down at the plate, swirling the apple in slow circles. "You know," he prodded her as he continued to focus downward. "The schoolteacher that's been trying to get in my pants. You're not jealous, are you?"

   "No," she answered honestly. "I'm flattered that she thinks my man is 'sex on a stick', as she so eloquently put it."

   Negan laughed jovially as Gina continued. "I nicely let her know that you're off the market."

   "You have an admirer of your own," he informed her as she wiped her mouth with the napkin that was laying on the bed.

   "Who?" she asked in surprise, the faces of the men in town running through her head. She couldn't recall any of them making any advances towards her in the past month.

   Negan grabbed the plate, reaching behind him to set it on the nightstand before laying on his back, tucking the pillow under his head, drawing out her curiosity.

   "Devin."

   "No sir," she exclaimed with a hint of confusion. "That can't be right," Gina said as she scooted her backside towards him in order to rest her legs on the headboard. "He's barely spoken to me since the day I arrived and disarmed him in front of Jerika."

   Negan ran his hand up and down her calf as she undid the towel from her head, leaving it under her neck. "You'd be surprised what a turn on that shit could be under the right circumstances."

   "I will never understand men," Gina grumbled as she ran her nails along his thigh.

   "A truly strong, secure man craves an equally strong woman," he informed her as he caressed the skin just under her knee.

   "Well at the risk of starting a fight, I just have to ask why every other woman in your little harem was decidedly not strong?"

   "I told you before," he said patiently, "I wasn't looking for anything from those girls but sex. You're the one I spent the last year thinking about, not them."

   Gina sat up, pulling the towel out from underneath her and swinging her legs down and off the bed in one fluid motion. She took his as well, hanging them back up before combing out the knots in her hair. When she came back out, he had pulled down the covers and covered himself up to his waist.

   Slipping in next to him, she put her head on his chest, plucking at the dark hair on his chest as he let out a contented sigh.

   "Casey asked me if you were going to live here," she said softly.

   "And?" he asked sleepily as she reached over him to shut off the lamp.

   "I think you should bring some of your things over tomorrow," she told him as his arm tightened around her.

   "Done," he answered as she closed her eyes, drifting off to sleep quickly.

 

   The next morning, she woke early to the sounds of Negan snoring softly, his mouth open slightly. As she stood up, she smiled to herself when she felt an ache in her thighs.

   He'd given her a pretty big workout the previous night, and it had been a long time since her body had felt so sore from sex.

   After tiptoeing into her bathroom, she rummaged around in the cabinet for an extra toothbrush, setting it on the edge of the sink for him. She brushed her own quickly before walking quietly down the steps to start some coffee. Unsure if Jerika was awake yet, she contemplated how long to wait until they could go pick Casey up. While the water started to heat up, she went back into the living room to gather up their clothes. Once she had tossed them into the laundry hamper, she trudged down to the basement of the old house to hunt for clothes for Negan to wear.

   The previous tenants had left behind a lot of belongings, and when she and Casey had gone exploring through the different floors, they had discovered totes filled with articles of clothing. Gina thumbed through the sealed piles, finally finding some acceptable shirts and pants that he could choose from. He could go commando until he got back to his house, she figured as she carried them back up to the kitchen, setting them on the counter.

   Once the coffee was ready, Gina took the handles of the mugs in one hand and the clothes in the other, bringing everything up to their bedroom where Negan was still sound asleep.

    "Rise and shine, sleeping beauty," she called out, setting the clothes on the bed as he rolled over with a grumble.

   "What time is it?" he asked in a scratchy voice and she sat alongside him, holding out one of the mugs.

   "Just after seven," she told him while he sat up to face her.

   Negan rubbed his face before taking the coffee. "And why in the holy hell are we up so early on our day off?"

   "Because I want to go and get my girl," she replied. "School starts tomorrow along with my new patrol and I want to make sure she's settled."

   Gina leaned her arm across his waist after she set her own mug down. "You can stay and rest if you want, but I'm going to head to Jerika's in a few minutes. I just thought after we picked her up we could head to your place to get your things. I found a few pants and shirts for you to wear and there's a new toothbrush on the sink for you."

   "Clothes?"

   "My old boyfriend left them," she teased with a wink as he blinked rapidly. Negan picked up the clothes, holding them up. After looking at them appraisingly, he took the gray cargo pants and a white long-sleeved thermal shirt, setting them next to him on the bed. Gina stood up and went over to her closet, shrugging out of her nightgown as she pulled out a tight black pair of pants, pulling them up over her legs.

   Once she fastened her bra, she added a blue henley after brushing her hair with rapid strokes and pulling it into a ponytail. When Negan came out of the bathroom, she tossed him a pair of socks which he caught with one hand. The clothes fit him well, and the shirt clung to his chest, emphasizing his trim physique. Now wide awake, he led her out of the room and down the hall to the steps.

   They were heading down the street moments later. There were very few people out as they walked towards Jerika's house. The morning air was chilly and the sky was gray as they moved in silence. But when they climbed the steps to the front door, a scream broke the tranquility, and Gina hurried to the door, turning the knob to no avail.  
Negan pushed her out of the way, kicking at the wooden door, hitting it several times until the door frame splintered with a crack, causing it to swing open. The screaming intensified as he raced up the steps to the second floor with Gina right behind him.

   At the end of the hall, Jerika was growling and slapping at one of the bedroom doors as Casey wailed in fear behind it. "Get a weapon," Negan ordered as the corpse of what used to be their leader turned towards his voice. She had turned recently, and her cloudy eyes focused on them as Gina flew down the steps, looking for something that they could use to protect themselves. Frantically, she ran to Jerika's study, nearly weeping with relief when she spied one of her knives sitting on the desk.

   Taking the steps two at a time, she rounded the corner to see Negan holding Jerika by the arms as she snapped at him, her mouth covered in blood. Raising the knife over her head, she ran at them, heaving the knife sideways through the side of Jerika's temple, watching as the life drained from her face and she slumped to the floor as Negan eased her down. He took the knife from her shaking hands as she sped towards the door, turning the knob slowly so as not to terrify Casey any further.

   "Casey," she said as calmly as she could, looking around the room for the little girl. "It's Gina, honey. Where are you?"

   Two little hands poked out of the underside of the bed, and Gina got on her knees, reaching under the mattress to drag the hysterical little girl out. Casey clung to her as she tried to stand up, her heart pounding. "I'm here," she murmured, holding her tightly as she got to her feet. "We're here. It's all over."

   She could hear a door close as she kept Casey's back towards the hallway, not wanting her to see Jerika's body. The snap of a sheet being opened prompted her to kick the door shut with her boot as Casey continued to cry, the tears spilling onto her shoulder. Gina rubbed her tiny back, just trying to soothe her while they waited for Negan.

   A few minutes later, he came into the room, closing the door behind him as she looked at him in shock. "Buzz?" she mouthed to him as Negan shook his head.

   "Okay, baby," she said to Casey, holding her head, "I want you to close your eyes, and we're going to get you out of here. Do you understand?"

   She felt Casey nod her head, and Gina walked to the door with Negan stepping up behind her to block the view. Struggling to keep her momentum, Gina descended the steps slowly as a growing group of people began to filter into the house, all of them looking nervous.

   "What happened?" Annabeth asked as Gina walked past her without a word with Casey still sobbing. Chuck and Devin were standing on the porch with guns in hand, each of them glancing at her questioningly. Negan placed his hand on her shoulder as he spoke over her head.

   "You guys need to get everyone together," he said briskly to Devin, steering her down to the walkway. "Is there somewhere that can hold the entire town?"

   "Yeah, the warehouse at the marina," Chuck replied as they kept walking.

   "We'll be there in a half an hour. Please send the doctor to our house," Negan told the crowd commandingly as they walked away. He put his arm around her shoulder as he took control, herding them towards home as Gina tried to calm Casey, to no avail. When they reached the porch, he hurriedly opened the door, guiding them to the couch as Gina sat down heavily, rocking back and forth in a daze.

   Casey was breathing heavily, moaning as Gina kept ahold of her, murmuring softly to her that she was safe while Negan paced back and forth from the couch to the door. No more than five minutes later, he opened it widely as Dr. Thomas stepped in, moving quickly to the couch. He knelt down in front of Gina with concern as he waited to find out what happened.

   "Jerika turned," Gina managed to choke out. "She was trying to get to Casey in the guest room of her house."

   Dr. Thomas took a deep breath as he lifted his hand, pointing his finger and made a circle, motioning for Gina to turn Casey around so that he could see her.

   "Casey," she said softly, trying to pull her back as the girl clung to her neck, "Dr. Thomas is here and he's just going to check you to make sure you're okay. So I'm going to turn you around, but I'm not going to let go of you."

   Casey didn't answer, but she didn't struggle as Gina readjusted her in her lap. Dr. Thomas gave her a reassuring smile as he looked her over, searching for any signs of physical trauma. After a cursory glance, he pulled himself onto the couch as Negan hovered behind them.

   "You're a very brave girl," he told her as he pulled a stethoscope from his bag, placing it in his ears. "I'm just going to put this on your chest so I can listen to your heart, all right?"

   She nodded with a shuddering sigh as he touched her gently, looking at Negan as he listened. "Good," he complimented as he hung it around his neck. "You're doing a great job," he continued as he placed two fingers on her wrist while looking at his watch. Once that was done, he bent forward slightly.

   "I know you've had a bad scare, but can you tell us what happened?" Dr. Thomas asked as Casey put her arm around Gina's neck.

   It took her a minute to talk, and her eyes were overflowing with tears as she began to speak.

   "I went in to tell Jerika I wanted breakfast," she said, her voice barely above a whisper. "She was chewing on old Buzz," Casey said as her lips trembled. "And she looked up at me and started to growl."

   "And you ran back to your room and shut the door?" Dr. Thomas guessed as she nodded once. "That was very smart," he praised her as she laid her head on Gina's shoulder. "You're the smartest girl I've ever seen."

   Negan cleared his throat behind her, and Dr. Thomas glanced up at him. "Can I talk to you for a minute, Doc?" he asked as the older man stood up, following him into the kitchen.

   "Are you thirsty, baby?" Gina asked, kissing the top of her head.

   "Yeah."

   "Okay, you sit here and I'll be right back."

   Casey didn't fight her as she set her on the couch, standing up and following after the two men. The were talking quietly as she entered, grabbing a glass from the cupboard and filling it with water.

   "Physically, she's fine," Dr. Thomas was saying as Negan crossed his arms in front him, "but emotionally, she's obviously traumatized."

   "And what do we do to help her?" Negan prodded as Dr. Thomas ran his hand along his cheek.

   "I'm going to want to see her, to have some counseling with her," he said as Gina joined them. "She could have varying reactions to this."

   "Like what?" she interjected as he glanced at her.

   "She may be afraid to be separated from you, for one," he explained. "She may have some outbursts, probably nightmares. But with time and help from the community, she should recover. I'd like you to bring her to see me first thing tomorrow morning, and if there are any major outbursts before then, don't hesitate to come and get me."

   "Thank you, Doctor," she said as she squeezed his arm gently, taking the water with her back into the living room. Casey was still sitting there, staring ahead blankly.

   "I brought you some water, bug," she said gently, so as not to startle her. When she sat back down, Casey climbed back onto her lap and Gina held the glass to her lips as she took a long drink. In the meantime, Negan had walked Dr. Thomas to the door before joining them on the couch. He sat down next to them, brushing Casey's hair from the side of her face as he smiled at her.

   "You're home now, little darlin', and you're safe," he assured her as she reached out for him. He took her in his arms, and his eyes closed briefly before he turned to look at Gina, and they seemed to share the same thought.

_What the hell was going to happen now?_


	50. Chapter 50

  
  
   Casey held Gina's hand as they walked down the steps of the porch and out into the street. Negan shut the door to the house and met up with them as they headed towards the marina, following behind a few other stragglers. Gina had gotten Casey dressed and had changed out of her blood-spattered clothes after Negan ran to his house to get some of his things. They were hastily thrown on her bed, waiting to be put away when they returned.

   There wasn't much said after Dr. Thomas left, and Gina wouldn't let Casey out of her sight, afraid of what would happen. She hadn't shed any more tears, but her little body would shake as if she was reliving the experience.

   The trio picked up the pace as the dock came into sight, following behind a small group of residents, all of whom glanced back at them, murmuring quietly until Negan gave them one of his steely looks. He and Gina hadn't had a chance to talk about what happened, and she wasn't sure why he wanted everyone to meet up. Maybe just to get the truth out there of what went on in the house, but she didn't know.

   The large doors of the warehouse were open, and someone had set up folding chairs, most of which were occupied. To the right was a roomy office with large windows, and Gina could see that the town's children were ensconced there along with Tina, who was keeping them entertained.

   "Casey, we're going to have Miss Tina watch you for a little bit while the adults talk, and then as soon as we're done we'll go home, okay?" Gina told her.

   Casey looked up at her with dull eyes, and it hurt her heart so much that she could barely keep herself from crying.

   "Negan and I will be right here, and you'll be able to see us through the window," she assured her as Negan bent down, getting level with her and giving her an encouraging smile.

   "If you want, we'll watch a movie when we get home. How does that sound?" he asked her as he cupped her cheek.

   "Okay," she whispered, squeezing Gina's hand tighter.

   With his hand on each of them, Negan led them to the office door, opening it carefully as Tina glanced up. Giving Casey a bright smile, she held out her hand to welcome her.

   "Hey, pumpkin," she said as her daughter, Rebecca came to join them, holding some crayons. "All of the kids are making pictures for their parents. Would you like to join them?"

   Casey shrugged as Rebecca waved for her to follow, and she dropped Gina's hand to trail behind. When she was out of earshot, Tina addressed the two of them.

   "How's she holding up?"

   "About as well as could be expected," Gina replied with a shake of her head. "She's going to need some time."

   "Of course," Tina agreed sympathetically. "If you need anything, please don't hesitate to let me know. Bring her on by whenever she's ready."

   "Thank you," Negan told her as he took Gina's hand, pulling her back slightly so that they could depart. With a smile, Gina turned around and the two walked back out into the warehouse. Dr. Thomas was just coming in through the doors, so Gina headed in that direction, calling out his name to get his attention.

   After looking around in confusion, he finally spied her and met her halfway.

   "Did you get a chance to examine Jerika?" Gina questioned, having no time for pleasantries.

   "I did, and it doesn't appear that she was bitten, so it had to have been from natural causes," he informed them.

   "Any idea what?" Negan asked, dropping her hand and placing both of his on his waist.

   "Well, without knowing any symptoms of what she may have been suffering from, if anything, there's no way to know," he said with a sigh.

   "Wait a minute," Gina piped in, her eyes closing to remember the previous day. "When I asked Jerika to watch Casey, I remember her rubbing her jaw. She thought she had a toothache, and she was going to come see you today."

   "Are you sure it was a toothache?" he asked, his eyes taking on a look of intensity.

   "No, not exactly," Gina said, watching his face. "She was rubbing her jaw and said it hurt. She assumed she had a toothache."

   "Hmmm," was all he said. He was quiet for a moment, running some scenarios through his head, Gina assumed. When his eyes began to refocus, he took a deep breath.

   "Well, without doing an autopsy, I can only guess, and it sounds to me like she may have had a heart attack."

   "Are you positive, Doc?" Negan interjected. "There's no flu or major illnesses going around, is there?"

   "Again, without doing an autopsy, we can't definitively say, but other than a few cold breakouts here and there, nothing very dangerous has come to my attention."

   Gina saw Devin approaching out of the corner of her eye, and she turned her head to address him as he came to stand next to Negan.

   "Everyone's here," he informed them. "Do you want to speak?"

   "I think we should have Dr. Thomas talk first to let everyone know about Jerika," Negan said as Devin nodded his head.

   "Follow me," he directed as he started towards the center of the warehouse where a makeshift stage was set up. The crowd began to quiet down as Negan, Dr. Thomas, and Devin all stepped up onto the raised platform.

   After clearing his throat, Dr. Thomas walked to the edge, looking out over the anxious faces. All were staring up at him, hoping for answers as to what had occurred just an hour before.

   "As you're all aware, we had an incident this morning," he began, clasping his hands in front of his waist. "I was called down to check on one of the children after being told that Jerika had turned and tried to attack her. Buzz was also killed, unfortunately," he continued as there were a few gasps from the crowd.

   "I want to make sure you know that she wasn't bitten. I examined her body, and there were no signs of any outward trauma. And after being told of her not feeling well yesterday, my best guess is that she suffered a heart attack, presumably while she was sleeping."

   Dr. Thomas waited patiently as the crowd spoke amongst themselves, trying to come to grips with the tragedy, and Gina noticed a few people staring at her while whispering furiously. But it was Negan who took center stage.

   "For those of you who don't know me, my name is Negan, and I arrived here a few days ago. Most of you know my w-," he stopped, correcting himself. "Most of you know Gina, and certainly Casey. And I know waking up to this is a shock. My condolences go out to each and everyone here." His face was a mixture of pity and determination.

   "I didn't know Jerika for very long, but she impressed the hell out of me," he continued with a small smile. "She obviously kept this place running on all cylinders, as you all seem strong and well taken care of."

   Negan went silent for a moment, looking each person in the eye before he spoke again. "Under normal circumstances, I would think that we would all take the time to grieve, take stock of our lives and our loved ones, and generally just take a step back. But unfortunately, we don't live in the type of society that can do that. So I ask, where do we go from here?"

   Gina shifted on her legs as the men and women took in his words. Since she had only been here for a month or so, she didn't know if they had ever experienced anything like this. She was sure they had lost people before, Casey's parents included. But this was a loss of their leader, inside their walls, without rhyme or reason.

   "Who is next in charge?" Negan questioned, his hands in the air. There was no response as people looked at him blankly. Turning to the side, he addressed Devin. "Are you second in command?"

   Devin's face paled slightly as Gina watched him with raised eyebrows.

   "We never discussed it," he stuttered, unhappy to be singled out.

   Blinking slowly, Negan again faced the crowd. "Anyone?"

   "Jerika handled everything," a woman sitting up front said loudly.

   "What do you mean, 'handled everything'?" Negan questioned.

   Another man spoke up, standing to get Negan's attention. "She decided who made the runs, who farmed, who worked security. She handled the ledgers. She did everything."

   After rubbing his face, Negan tried another tactic, attempting to suss out as much information as possible.

   "Okay, so there are people in charge of each department, correct?"

   A few people murmured their assent, and he nodded his head as if they just answered a question correctly on a quiz. "Good. Can those people please stand up?"

   While they were doing that, he beckoned for Gina to join him on the stage. She absolutely hated to be in front of a group of people like this, but she made her way to the steps, climbing up as she felt almost a hundred pairs of eyes on her. Once she reached him, she took his hand, holding onto it tightly. Peering out over the crowd, she could see three people standing.

   "Diane is the only woman, obviously," she said quietly into his ear. "She runs the gardens."

   "Diane, would you mind joining us up here?" he asked with a charming smile, not enough to downplay the tragedy of what was occurring, but it was an adequate amount to get what he wanted.

   She made her way through the crowd, her cheeks turning red as everyone watched her. Diane was in her late forties, with mousy brown hair and a slight build. Gina could see her trembling slightly as she crossed the stage, and Negan shook her hand gently before turning back to Gina.

   "The tall guy in the fatigues is Clinton. He usually oversees the scouts. Spent most of his life hunting. Definitely _not_ military, despite the attire."

   "Clinton?"

   Squaring his shoulders, Clinton made his way confidently towards the front of the warehouse, shaking Negan's hand with a strong grip before going to stand next to Devin.

   "The last guy is Trevor. He worked with Buzz on the fishing boats. He's quiet, smart."

   Trevor joined them onstage without any prompting, introducing himself to Negan before patting Gina on the arm. "I hope Casey's okay," he said softly before stepping behind her.

   They were certainly a unique collection of individuals, clustered together in a group. Gina retreated while Negan began to patrol the front of the stage, looking like he was deep in thought. She could feel the heat from Diane's body next to her, and the woman looked like she was on the verge of a breakdown. The crowd, meanwhile, was giving Negan their rapt attention.

   If she wasn't in front of the group, she would have shaken her head. It was so easy for him to take charge, to draw all of the awareness of anyone in a room with him, whether intentional or not.

   "How many of you have been here since the beginning?" he asked curiously as the majority of the crowd raised their hands. With a grim smile, he shook his head.

   "You're lucky," he told them, and Gina was sure that he was genuine. "Most places aren't as nice as this, and I'm speaking from experience. So I'm sure we're all in agreement that we want to keep this place the same great community. We have a group of people up here that have maintained stability in their respective groups, so I propose to you, as an alternative to having one leader, we nominate a council that would run Reedville."

   "How would that work?" Devin asked.

   "Instead of one person making all of the decisions, it would be a group consensus," Gina volunteered, stepping forward slightly. "Jerika knew every inch of this place, and she had a hand in every different type of job, but no one else did. So if we bring together a representative from all different areas of the community, we could have input from everyone."

   The crowd muttered to themselves as Devin cleared his throat. "Why don't we take a day or so to think on it, and meet again in the morning? Does everyone agree?"

   There was a chorus of yesses, and people began to stand up, clustering into groups. Diane scuttled off of the stage, disappearing into the crowd as the remaining men on stage made their way towards Negan. Gina left them to discuss things as she went towards the office, anxious to check on Casey. When she looked through the window, she could see her sitting with Rebecca, coloring on a piece of construction paper.

   She and a few other parents entered the room, and Casey looked up before dropping her crayon and carrying her drawing over for Gina to see. On the cream colored paper was a large house, with three figures standing outside. The man and woman both had dark hair, and the smaller figure was holding their cartoon hands.

   "Is that our family?" Gina asked as she bent down to examine it.

   "Uh-huh," she replied, tugging on one of her long curls.

   "It's so beautiful," she praised as Casey bit her lip. "I'm going to put this on our refrigerator for everyone to see."

   That got a tiny smile, and Gina scooped her up, planting kisses all over her cheeks. "Come on," she said, moving towards the exit. "Let's get out of here."

   Negan was still deep in conversation with the other men, so she left with Casey, carrying her the whole way back to the house. When they got inside, she set her on one of the chairs at the dining room table before taking the picture and sticking it on the fridge. The stick family brought a little lump to her throat as she stared at it. Never in her life did she think she'd be drawn in that manner, as part of a family that didn't involve her dad or her sister.

   Shaking it off, she cut up a few slices of bread and popped them in the toaster before slathering them in some raspberry jam. She set them in front of Casey along with some water before peeling the crusts off.

   "What do you think, bug? Should we watch a movie, or do you want to take a nap?"

   "Can we watch Frozen?" she asked, poking at the jam with her index finger and bringing it to her lips.

   "Sure, if you eat all of your toast," Gina agreed, just wanting her to get some food in her belly.

   Casey picked up one of the pieces, taking a hearty bite, much to Gina's relief.

   They were halfway through the movie before Negan returned, and Casey leaped off of the couch, running towards him as he lifted her up. "Did I miss the movie?" he asked in mock disappointment, hoisting her above his shoulders as he entered the living room.

   "Only half," Gina told him, patting the seat next to her. He sat down, leaving room for Casey to squeeze in between them, which she did, holding hands with both of them. Gina glanced at him over her head, and he gave her an encouraging smile.

   The spent the rest of the day keeping Casey occupied, and at dinnertime Diane rang their bell, handing Gina a warm covered dish without a word before dashing back down the steps. Gina called out a thank you before shutting the door with her foot, placing it on the table. It was a vegetable casserole, and she got them each a plate, letting Negan dish them all a serving.

   Amazingly, Casey ate every bite, and when they were done, she hustled her upstairs for a bath. Gina added extra bubbles, sitting on the bathroom floor next to her as she played. She was doing well, all things considered, but Gina was nervous that bedtime would bring up bad memories.  
   

   Once she was ready to get out, Gina used the pitcher that she kept next to the tub to rinse out her hair before wrapping her in a towel and leading her into the bedroom.

   "Is Negan going to spend the night?" she asked as Gina slid her nightgown over her head.

   "He is," Gina confirmed as the little girl seemed to relax. "He's going to stay with us all of the time, now."

   "Okay," she said agreeably as Gina carried the towel into the bathroom, returning with the comb. She sat down on the bed, patting the spot next to her, and Casey climbed up, leaning against her side as she brushed her wet hair.

   Negan entered a moment later, toting a book in his hands as Casey crawled towards the pillows, tucking herself in. He sat down on the bed next to her as she looked up at him, her green eyes large against her pale face.

   "I thought we could have a goodnight story," he told her as he opened the book.

   "What's going to happen when I fall asleep?" she whispered fearfully as he put his hand on her head.

   "Nothing is going to happen, I promise. You're here with us now, and we'll protect you," Negan said in a steady tone.

   "But what if you die, too?"

   "Gina and I aren't going to die. But how about this? We're going to keep your door shut tight, and in the morning, we'll knock three times so that you know it's us."

   "Pinky swear," she ordered, sticking her hand back out of the covers.

   Without hesitation, he wrapped his little finger with hers, shaking them back and forth for emphasis.

   Gina came over, kissing her on the cheek before wishing her a good night, and closed the door softly before walking back down the steps. She was exhausted but forced herself to straighten up the downstairs and finish the dishes before turning off the lights and heading back up towards their room.

   Negan was already in there, putting his clothes away in the empty drawers of the dresser. She walked to him, and he took her into his arms, hugging her as she buried her face in his neck, breathing deeply. He started to speak, but she cut him off with a kiss before steering him to the bed.

   "We can talk later," she told him, pulling her shirt off. "I just need to be with you right now."

   He didn't even bother answering her, instead pulling her on top of him as he fell back onto the bed.


	51. Chapter 51

  "I'd like to speak to you alone. _Now_."

   Gina was pissed as she walked out of the warehouse. She tried not to stomp as she headed for the docks, and she failed miserably. A ball of anger was forming in her gut, and several people jumped out of her way as she moved with purpose down the wooden boards, stopping only because she reached the end.

   The wind was blowing, lifting her hair into wild ropes as she took a few deep breaths, waiting for Negan to catch up. When she heard his footsteps approaching, she whirled around, the anger twisting her features.

   "You had no right to do that," she hissed at him as he watched her, absolutely unapologetic.

   "The people voted, and you're a part of the council now," he retorted, scratching behind his ear as she crossed her arms to keep from striking him.

   "You blindsided me," Gina accused him as his eyebrows knitted together, clearly surprised at her reaction. "Did you even stop to consider that maybe I didn't want this? Have I ever once led you to believe that I was interested in any sort of leadership role?"

   "No, but-"

   "There is no 'but'," she snapped, her voice rising higher than she wanted it to. "If you're so interested in who's going to be running this place, you should have nominated yourself."

   "We both know that isn't a good idea," Negan reminded her as he took a step forward, stopping only when she held up her hand. "I had my chance and I blew it. But you're smart, you're fair and you've got a good head on your shoulders. You have no interest in power, which makes you perfect for the job."

   "I don't know anything about leading a community," Gina replied, brushing a few strands out of her face. "I just want to do my patrols and take care of Casey."

   "This will keep her safer in the end," he explained, trying to get her to see his point of view. "You'll be able to go out and negotiate with the other communities and I can continue to help with the security of this place. These are good people, but most of them are not equipped to run it."

   She shook her head, not saying anything. The meeting had completely derailed her thinking. When she stepped up on that stage, it was merely going to be for support, until Diane asked to be released from consideration. She had only wanted to continue managing the gardens and didn't want to have anyone look to her for any decisions. Clinton and Trevor were fine with being on the committee, and Devin had agreed, although reluctantly.

   "Give it a chance," Negan pleaded with her as she looked at him blankly. "If the town didn't think you could do it, they wouldn't have agreed to it."

   "Why is this so important to you?" she finally asked, not mincing words.

   Negan's face cleared as he smiled slightly. His brown eyes were filled with affection as he took one step towards her. "Because I've changed," he told her. "You've helped me change. I don't care about power anymore. I care about you. And Casey. And I believe in you, so believe in me."

   Extending his hand, he gazed at her hopefully while she debated on whether or not to kick his ass. With a disgruntled sigh, she took it and he pulled her forcefully, causing her to bump into his chest. One of his hands gripped her waist as the other tilted her chin up so that he could look her in the eye.

   "Do you think I'm intelligent?" he asked softly.

   "Yes."

   "So are you," he replied. "You can handle this. I would never set you up to fail."

   Gina searched his eyes, and all she could see was love. Exhaling deeply, she put an arm around his neck, grasping his hair between her fingers. "If you ever pull a stunt like that again, I'll drop you to the ground in front of everyone. Understood?"

   "Yes, ma'am," he said immediately before bending down to kiss her. When they broke apart, he was clearly happy, while she was ambivalent as to what came next. She voiced that sentiment as he led her back to the warehouse, which had cleared out considerably.

   Devin and Clinton were still there, but Trevor had left to go supervise the sailors that were embarking on the latest fishing trip. Dropping Negan's hand, she approached the duo with a smile and asked them to accompany her to Jerika's office, where they spent the next few hours hashing out duties.

   It was decided amongst the three that Clinton would continue to be responsible for all of the scavenging, and Devin would run the security along with assigning jobs and interviewing potential inhabitants. Since neither had any interest in managing the ledgers along with the provisions, Gina was going to take over that job, along with visiting the other communities to continue the trading deals.

   Once all of the major decisions had been made, Devin pulled out all of the supply information, piling it on the desk for her. Once he departed, she opened the first one, making notes as she went through the pages. Engrossed, she didn't hear the door open until Casey came flying at her, climbing onto her lap as Negan sat down in the chair across the desk.

   "Hi, bug," she said, kissing the top of her head.

   "What are you reading?" Casey asked, touching the book lightly.

   "Boring stuff," Gina replied, closing the leatherbound journal. "How was your first day of school?"

   "Okay," she answered, her hands playing with the pencil as her legs swung up and back, hitting Gina in the shins.

   "Just okay?"

   "We practiced our writing and we had to read flash cards," Casey told her, still distracted by the books.

   "Did you get to do anything fun?" she prodded, fishing for more details.

   "Um, we colored and then we got to play outside for a while," she said as Gina set her on her feet before pushing the chair in. Negan stood up, escorting them to the door as Gina turned off the light and closed up the office.

   "Well, that sounds fun. Who did you play with?"

   "Rebecca and I played for a while, and then Tommy asked if we could play duck duck goose," Casey said, smiling as she reached for Negan's hand.

   "Did you get to be the goose?" he asked, swinging their arms back and forth.

   "Yeah, and I chased Tommy and caught him. He cried," she told them with a grin.

   "Aww, poor Tommy," Gina said sympathetically.

   Casey giggled as they started towards home, taking jumping steps.

   As she and Negan got themselves settled at the table, Gina went into the kitchen, heating up the casserole from the previous night and opening a jar of applesauce, carrying everything out in one trip. They were just finishing dinner when she cleared her throat, causing Negan and Casey to look up.

  "I have something to tell you, Casey," she began as the child set her fork down, letting it clatter against the plate.

   "I'm going to be going away for a couple days, but I'll be back soon."

   "Why?" she asked curiously, looking up at her as her eyebrows rose.

   "Well, I'm going to be keeping track of our supplies, and meeting with some leaders from the other communities. Some of the places are a ways away, so I'm going to have to spend the night there. But you and Negan are going to stay together."

   She looked between the two of them, and Gina waited patiently for her to respond.

   "Can I go with you?"

   "I'm sorry, baby, but you have to go to school. I'll be back as soon as I can, I promise, and we'll see if Trevor can take us out on the boat. Is that a good deal?"

   "I guess so," she grumbled unhappily.

   "You and I are going to have fun," Negan promised, wiggling his eyebrows up and down. "We'll eat junk and watch movies and play lots of games. It will go by fast, and before you know it, Gina will be back."

   "Can I pick the movies?" Casey asked as she perked up.

   "Don't you always?" Negan teased as she rolled her eyes. It appeared the conversation was over as the two argued playfully about musicals, and Gina cleaned up the table, taking everything back into the kitchen. While she was washing the dishes, Negan sidled up behind her, pressing himself against her as his hands dipped into the warm water, caressing her fingers with his.

   A chill ran up her spine as he kissed the side of her neck, his stubble grazing against her skin. "I'll meet you in the bedroom, lover," he said in a low voice before Casey came bounding in.

   "Come on, pumpkin," he said, dragging his hands along her arms before drying them off on a dish towel. "Let's go get ready for bed."

   It took her a minute before Gina could get her thoughts together. Her arms were tingling where he touched her, and her chest was burning, and she wondered to herself if he'd have this kind of effect on her for the rest of her life. On the flip side, she pondered if it was a one-way thing. When she touched him, did he feel the same? He obviously loved her, that wasn't in doubt. But Gina didn't know if he had the same physical reactions that she did. Determined to find out, she hurriedly finished cleaning up before sprinting up the steps.

   He and Casey were sprawled across her bed, thumbing through a book of fairy tales when she entered, and she climbed up next to them, listening to Negan read about Hansel and Gretel in his deep, soothing voice. Casey was in between them, and Gina played with her hair as she put her head down on her hands, her eyes closing occasionally. If she was anything like Gina was as a child, she was probably imagining all of the candy that made up the gingerbread house.

   When Negan reached the end of the story, Gina decided to herself to look for sweets while she was out of the community, or to at lease find supplies to make some with Casey. Since she was going to be leaving town sometimes, she wanted to do fun things with her when she was here.

   Once she was tucked into bed, Gina and Negan gave her a kiss goodnight, and she rolled onto her side to face them as they left the room, closing the door securely.

   Negan came up behind her, guiding her with his hips towards their bedroom, closing the door behind them as he tried to lead her to the bed, but she wouldn't budge.

   He came around her, surprised at the look on her face.

   "Get on your knees," she ordered him, her eyes steely.

   "Excuse me?" Negan looked taken aback at the change in her demeanor.

   "You heard me," she said in a steady, mildly cold voice. "Kneel."

   "I'm confused, darlin'," he replied, his voice sharp.

   "I thought you were intelligent," she murmured as she cocked her head, looking up at him through her lashes. "You do understand what the word kneel means?"

   "Of course," he snapped, his eyes blazing.

   "Then do it, or I'll do it for you," she commanded, standing directly in front of him.

   His eyes didn't leave her face as he got down on the carpet, kneeling as he kept his shoulders straight.

   Now, she looked down at him, her head still tilted as he began to stew. Reaching out, she ran one finger along his jaw, just watching his reaction. She noticed his breathing speed up, but he kept his face mostly free of emotion. Walking in a slow circle around him, her hands kept time with her, touching his shoulders, along his back before finally cupping the back of his head when she came around again to face him.

   He appeared to be furious and aroused at the same time, and Gina gave him a cocky smile. "I can see why you liked having people kneel before you. It's a very intoxicating experience."

   "Why the fuck are you doing this?" he snapped, looking up at her angrily.

   "Well, for one, because of that stunt you pulled this morning," Gina replied in a cool tone. "But that's not the only reason."

   Using only her fingertips, she pulled at the hem of her shirt, lifting over her head, letting it drop at her feet. Her jeans were next, and she undid the button slowly, easing them down over her hips as he watched her, his hips moving forward. The desire was working its way over his face as she bent down, stepping out of them and taking her socks off, leaving her only in a bra and panties.

   "I know you love me," she continued as she reached behind her back, unhooking her bra and sliding the straps down her arms while she held the material to her breasts. "But I want you to feel exactly what I feel when you tease me."

   "Tease you?" he asked roughly, his hands clenching into tight fists.

   "Mmm-hmm," she purred before making her way behind him. Tossing the bra onto the bed, Gina leaned down to grasp his arms, lifting them straight up. He kept them above his head as she removed his shirt, leaving him bare-chested.

   "I want your skin to burn when I touch you," she said into his ear, pleased when he shivered slightly. "I want you to still feel my fingers caressing when I'm not touching you."

   Starting at the top of his shoulders, she ran her hands down his chest, lingering on his abdomen before making their way back up. When she broke contact, he closed his eyes, a deep rumble making its way up his chest. "Do you feel it?" she asked as he nodded.

   Bringing her lips to the back of his neck, she exhaled, letting the warmth of her breath tickle him before licking at the soft skin, causing him to jerk softly.

   "How about that?" she questioned as his head tilted back.

   "Yes." It was somewhere between a growl and a moan.

   "Good."

   Walking back around leisurely to face him, she stood only inches from Negan's face, as he focused on her stomach.

   "You can stand up," she told him as he climbed to his feet unsteadily, and she could see his erection straining against his jeans. Extending her arms, she looped her fingers inside the material, pulling him closer. Before she could unbutton them, he swept her up in his arms, dropping her on the bed unceremoniously.

   She knew she was pushing her luck, but she couldn't help smiling cockily up at him as he yanked her panties off. Undoing her ponytail, she let her hair spill down around her as he took her by the ankles, tugging her roughly towards the edge of the bed. Negan was practically snarling as be bared his teeth at her, hovering over her body as she felt the wetness grow between her legs.

   Pinning her arms above her head, he brought his mouth down to her breasts, sucking on the tender skin as his rough hair scraped the outsides, forcing her nipples to aching points, and he didn't stop until she let out a moan. Satisfied, he made his way down her body, using his tongue to trace a path to the inside of her thighs.

   Though her arms were free, she kept them above her head as he glared up at her, once again getting down on his knees. His hands clamped down on the sensitive area just alongside her groin, while her skin began to throb in anticipation. But he didn't make a move, he just glared at her, waiting for her to beg him, and she had to bite her lip to keep from speaking.

   It became a waiting game, and she was determined not to blink first. For some unexplainable reason, she needed this. She needed him to acquiesce to her, and he finally did, lowering his head between her legs. When he finally made contact, she let out a contented sigh as his fingers and tongue worked in tandem, bringing her to an orgasm in minutes.

   Her muscles were quaking as she came down from her high, and she sat up as he loomed over her. Negan still had his pants on, and she looked up at him in satisfaction as she undid the button and zipper, tugging them down so that he was totally exposed. He was still hard, and she ran her thumb along the tip, grasping him firmly. Flicking her tongue out, he let out a huff as she tasted the salty fluid before easing him into her mouth.

   She felt his hands on the back of her head which she batted away, wanting to do it her way. In order to do so, she let him go, taking him by the waist and turning him towards the bed as she stood up. He took her spot on the mattress, and Gina got down on her knees between his legs. This time when his hands gathered up her hair, holding it with his fists, she let him. Her head bobbed up and down as she twisted her hand around the base, the other one digging into his thigh as he pulled her hair tighter.

   He came with a groan, yanking her hair towards him as he continued to move. As the pressure on her scalp eased off, Gina let him go, sitting back to catch her breath. Negan flopped backward, his chest moving up and down rapidly. When she could stand, she walked into the bathroom, rinsing her mouth out before climbing on the bed next to him. His eyes were wary as she turned to the side, running her nails up and down his chest.

   "What the fuck was that all about?" he asked, his eyes locking with hers.

   "I don't know," she admitted. "I just wanted to have the same effect on you that you have on me."

   "Why on earth would you think you didn't?" Negan wondered, his voice testy.

   "Because I'm not inside your head," she snapped. "I have no idea what goes through your mind when you're looking at me, or when I touch you."

   He rolled himself on top of Gina, letting his full weight rest on her. "You could just ask me," he told her, his thumb rubbing her cheek gently. "Don't get me wrong, I love you taking charge, but it's highly fucking offensive to me that you'd think I don't want to be balls deep inside you at any given moment."

   "That's romantic," she shot back as she lifted her right leg, wrapping it around his waist.

   "We weren't talking about romance," he reminded her as he kissed her on the neck, making goosebumps rise on her arms. "We were talking about raw sexual attraction."

   "You're right," she admitted as she ran her fingers through his hair. "You just make me so crazy, even after all this time. I just want to know that you feel the same."

   Negan was practically preening as he flashed a toothy smile. "Darlin', I wasn't kidding when I said I thought about you every night in that cell."

   Lifting her head, she kissed him with passion, easing her other leg out from under him and locking her ankles together. He was ready again quickly, wasting no time as he entered her, angling her hips so that he could get as deep as possible. Gina let her head fall back as her hands made their way up and down his back, while he kissed her neck, grunting softly as his strokes got faster.

   The closer he got to completion, the harder he pushed, reaching back and lifting her legs onto his shoulders as he raised himself onto his elbows, bending her nearly in half. Gina cupped his face in her hands, her eyelids drifting closed as Negan let out a groan, his warmth spilling inside her. Clenching her insides tightly, he continued to move spastically, the lingering effects leaving him breathless.

   "I got nothin' else for ya, darlin'," he muttered as she released him, and he dropped face down next to her. Gina turned back onto her side, kissing his cheek as she ran the tips of her fingers across his face.

   "You gave me everything I needed," she said with a smile. "And a new job."

   Negan crawled towards the pillows, pulling the heavy quilt down and collapsing underneath it. Gina, who had slightly more energy, turned off the lights before joining him. He put his arms around her, pulling her towards him and they linked hands under the covers.

   "I love you," she whispered as she fell asleep.

   "Marry me," he said even more softly. It so soft that she didn't even hear it.


	52. Chapter 52

  
   It was still dark when Gina bent over, kissing Negan on the temple before she snuck out of the bedroom, walking silently down the hall. She debated on stopping in to see Casey, but decided not to, afraid she would scare her if she was sound asleep.

   The house was quiet except for a few creaks as she made a cup of coffee, filling a thermos before sitting at the dining room table with a pencil and a piece of paper. Quickly jotting down a few notes for Negan, she left it in the middle of the table for him before grabbing her coat and lacing up her boots. Her weapons belt was in the closet, and she grabbed it last, fixing it around her waist before slipping out the door into the dark gray light.

   Everyone was still asleep except for those on guard duty, and she walked down the middle of the street towards the office. Devin was just coming out of his house as she passed, and he fell into step beside her after greeting her in a sleepy voice. He assisted her in finding the most recent ledgers along with directions to the two settlements that they would be visiting along with Alexandria.

   Once everything was packed up in a large leather knapsack, Gina slung it over her shoulder, and they doubled back towards the walls. The air was crisp as the days hurtled along towards true fall. In low voices, Devin updated her on the previous night's comings and goings. He let her know that a small herd had made it's way to just outside the walls, but it was easily dispatched by the night crew, and no ammunition had been used.

   Trevor was still out on one of the boats, but Devin was well versed in what was being sought while they were out on the ocean, and he volunteered to write it all down for her on the long drive to Alexandria. Since it was the furthest community, they had agreed to go there first, spending the night before rounding back to the Kingdom and the other community that Jerika had a pact with.

   During their meeting yesterday, Devin and Clinton gave her the vital info on the settlement known as Arcadia. It had been a large, working farm that supplied many communities and schools before the apocalypse, and was led by a man named Johnson. Neither one knew his first name, and no one addressed him by anything else.

   "He's an asshole," Clinton had told her, his long arms folding themselves as he rested his head on his equally long fingers. "I only went there once with Jerika, and he is your typical male chauvinist pig. He'll try to cheat you, especially since you're young."

   "Well, he's welcome to try," Gina said with a grin. "But, I'm in love with the original king jackass. I've picked up a few tricks."

   Clinton let out a booming laugh, and he looked years younger. Kinder, too. Gina decided right at that moment that she liked him. Despite appearing to be a backward hick, Clinton was far more worldly. He just hid it well. He reminded her a lot of Daryl.

   When they reached the tiny ranch house that sat right next to the wall, Devin fished a key from his pocket, unlocking the door before letting her enter first. Two-thirds of their weapons were stored here, and the rest were kept at the warehouse. He signed them out a cache of weapons, and Gina slid a large knife into her belt before tucking the guns and ammo into the bag with the ledgers.

   Opening the door to a large red truck, Gina positioned herself behind the wheel, taking the first shift to Alexandria. The bed had been loaded down with coolers filled with crab and fish, all for Rick and her sister's group. Though they had just visited a few days ago, she wanted to increase the number of guns and ammunition her group received from Rick. Eugene had the bullet making factory up and running and he was able to produce a prolific amount of bullets. Where he got the material from, she didn't know, but she was determined to make sure Reedville was always ready for anything.

   The walls were long behind them, and she and Devin had finished all of the coffee before they stopped to change positions, and it was at least another hour before he attempted small talk with her.

   "So, your husband seems to have settled in nicely," he remarked, startling her out of her stupor.

   "What? Oh, yes. Yes, he has. And Casey has taken to him like a duck to water."

   "That's good," Devin observed, glancing in the rear view mirror. Gina studied him while he drove, remembering Negan's earlier proclamation that he had a thing for her. Gina still doubted it, but she tried to imagine herself with him, failing miserably. Devin was attractive, for sure, and she wasn't sure why any of the single women hadn't snapped him up, Tina included. He had dark hair, much like Negan, but he had deep blue eyes, and fine features, rather than Negan's rugged ones.

   "Were you guys together before everything fell apart?"

   "No, we met after," she replied, chewing on her pinky nail.

   "Oh. Was he the one that taught you all that self-defense stuff?" he asked curiously.

   Gina laughed lightly as she shook her head. "That came before. My sister and I both took classes and shooting lessons for a long time. It definitely came in handy."

   "I'll say," he answered flippantly.

   "How about you?" Gina questioned as she slowed the truck down, turning onto the highway. "You seem to be able to hold your own, or you wouldn't be in charge of the wall."

   Devin let out a chuckle as he glanced at her quickly before focusing on the road. "I was in the Army for four years. It was a good way to earn money for college."

   "What did you study?"

   "I got my MBA from George Washington. A lot of good it did me, but, hey, at least I don't have to pay back any school loans."

   "Well, there's a silver lining," she said jokingly as he shrugged good-naturedly.

   "And what did you do in the old world, if you don't mind me asking?" he questioned politely.

   "You know, you're the first person to ever ask me that, if you can believe it."

   "And?"

   "I was a social worker. I worked for the Department of Aging," she told him, and her voice was wistful.

   "Wow," was all he said.

   "Wow, what?" she asked, looking at him critically.

   "I didn't mean anything by it," he told her apologetically. "I barely know you, and I'm not judging. I just can't picture you as a social worker."

   "I loved it," she said simply. "I loved the people I worked with, and I felt like I was making a difference in people's lives. Before all of this, hell, even now, the elderly were often so overlooked. They weren't taken care of like they should have been. And I enjoyed being an advocate for them and their needs. I don't know if you noticed, but I can be a bit bossy and overbearing at times. That served me well."

   "I would never imply that," Devin insisted, but she just laughed it off.

   They continued to converse the rest of the way, and she felt more comfortable with him as they got closer to Alexandria. The familiar walls didn't come into sight until late in the afternoon, and Gina steered the truck slowly towards the gates, coming to a stop just outside.

   Sticking her head out cautiously, she made eye contact with the guard, who ended up being Aaron, and he waved down to someone behind the gate. It rolled open, and she wasn't surprised to see that it was Rick, who directed her over to the right. Once she put the truck into park, she turned it off, leaving the keys in the ignition.

   Rick was at her door before she even opened it, and she stepped out to greet him.

   "This is a surprise," he said as he hugged her quickly.

   "I'm afraid it's not a social call," Gina told him as she beckoned to Devin. "I'm not sure if you two have met, but this is Devin. He runs the wall at Reedville. Devin, this is Rick, the leader of Alexandria."

   The two men shook hands, and Rick motioned for them to follow him to his house. Gina looked around at the surroundings, once so commonplace to her. It felt almost like when she would come home to visit her father. It seemed the same, but not quite, like she didn't belong there anymore. He led them up the steps and into his house, where Michonne was sitting with Judith and Carl. She was on alert instantly, handing the girl off to her brother and shooing them out of the room.

   Gina collected another hug, this one a little more tense, and then the four sat down in the kitchen. She didn't want to beat around the bush, so she just came out with it.

   "Jerika is dead," she told them as Rick's eyes narrowed.

   "Can I talk to you outside?"

   He didn't wait for an answer as he stood up and walked through the living room and out the front door. Gina followed after him, leaving Devin with Michonne. He was leaning against the porch rail with his arms crossed, and she sat down on the swing, waiting for him to talk.

   "Where's Negan?" he asked shortly.

   "At home, taking care of Casey," she answered, keeping her voice on an even keel, even though the question irritated her.

   "Why didn't he come here with you?"

   "There's no reason for him to come," Gina answered.

   Rick straightened his stance as he took a step way from the railing. "I'm sorry, but I'm finding this just a bit coincidental. He's there just a few days and your leader is dead."

   Instead of lashing out at Rick, Gina studied him. He was in full boss mode, and he was trying to take a stance. But she didn't answer to him, not anymore. So she stood up, facing him head as she looked him square in the eyes.

   "Jerika had a heart attack in the middle of the night," she said in a strong voice. "Casey was spending the night with her, and she almost died."

   "I'm sorry," he stuttered, seeming genuinely surprised.

   "You brought Negan to me," she reminded him. "And given his past, I'm sure it's a natural reaction to be suspicious, but I didn't come here to report to you. I came to inform you of what happened and to let you know that our community is now being run by a council. If you'd like to join me inside with Devin, I'll be glad to explain everything to you and Michonne."

   Gina turned and made her way back into the house, where Michonne and Devin were still sitting, neither one speaking. She sat down next to Devin and pulled out her Alexandria ledger, opening it to the most recent page. A moment later, the screen door opened and Rick joined them, sitting down across from her, as she briefly explained their new system to him.

   Michonne didn't say anything, but she listened in with interest as they went over the future exchanges, and Rick agreed to provide them with more bullets and guns for a five percent increase in food. He didn't question why they wanted the additional provisions, and she didn't offer any answers in return. Rick also agreed to try to find them some long range radios so that they could maintain contact with their scavengers. When they finished, he offered to walk her over to Talia's, offering Devin a room in the townhouse next to her.

   After he got Devin set up for the evening, they continued towards Talia's house until he pulled her to a stop.

   "I'm sorry I jumped to conclusions," he told her as she smiled.

   "No, you're not," she replied kindly. "But I understand why you did. I didn't ask for this job, however, I'm determined to do the best I can. I want all of our communities to thrive."

   "And I'll do anything I can to assist with that," Rick promised as Talia's door opened.

   "Gina?"

   Talia stepped out, looking at her in surprise. "What's going on?"

   Rick followed her into the house and they gathered in a loose circle just inside the door as Gina explained the reason for her visit.

   "Oh my God," Talia said in a shocked voice. "Is Casey okay?"

   "She's holding her own," Gina told her, holding her hands up. "She's a tough kid, but she's terrified Negan and I are going to die. We're trying to reassure her as much as possible, and with time, I think she'll be able to move on."

   Rick excused himself, thanking her for the coolers that were still waiting for him in her truck, and she trailed behind Talia into her kitchen, pulling out a chair and sitting down with a sigh. She was tired, and Talia hastily put together a quick dinner. They were just finishing up when Daryl came in, stopping in his tracks when he saw her.

   She gave him a little wave as he made his way forward, giving her a one-armed hug. Gina was relieved that he didn't seem upset with her, seeing as they hadn't seen each other since she took off with Negan, and once again, she revealed her reason for visiting. Daryl listened quietly as she told him about Jerika, Casey, and their new council.

   He, like Rick, offered to help if they needed anything, and she told him that it was appreciated. While he ate, they chatted about the goings on at Alexandria. Apparently, Keith and his group decided to leave after what had happened, leaving them without a doctor again. Gina apologized, feeling genuinely bad for the way things went down, but surprisingly, Daryl waved it off.

   "I liked Jeremiah, but the rest of 'em weren't worth much," he muttered. "Keith was an asshole, and the others wouldn't listen. They hurt more than they helped."

   "Well, if there's anything I can do to make it up to you guys, just say the word."

   "Know that you mention it, I'd like to go out on one of those boats if I could," Daryl said as Talia's eyebrows went up.

   "Anytime," Gina promised, the same time as Talia asked why.

   "'Cause I get bored just huntin'," he told her before shoveling another fork full of food in his mouth. "It's been quiet around here."

   Talia muttered something under her breath that Gina couldn't hear, and it brought a smile to her face. It felt just like when she lived here, and it made her wistful. She did have good memories of this place, and it was mostly due to the people, not the possessions, or the material things.

   They sat together until the sun went down, and Talia laid out a towel for her so that she could shower and head to bed. When she went into the guest room, Gina found a set of clothes on the bed for her, thankful that she and Talia were twins, since she had forgotten to bring any with her. Snuggling in the bed, she laid awke for a while, thinking about Negan and Casey and hoping that everything was going well at home. Willing herself to sleep, she comforted herself with the knowledge that the sooner she was out, she closer she'd be to getting back to them.

   The next afternoon, Devin turned down a winding gravel road that led towards Arcadia. They had spent the morning at the Kingdom, meeting with King Ezekiel and his lady, Carol. It had been productive, and the King was open to continuing their current agreement, which included fresh meats and a plethora of vegetables. Gina came away completely charmed by the man, finding him charming and intelligent. Their community reminded her a lot of Reedville, in that both sets of residents appeared genteel and focused on the betterment of their fellow men. Devin had warned her again on the way to Arcadia to expect a completely different reception.

   A quarter mile after they turned onto the gravel road, they came to a checkpoint, armed by several men. They only had a barbed wire fence, but it was dense and high, with armed guards every twenty feet. Deven pulled the truck to a stop, unrolling the window as a large man with red hair and a machine gun approached.

   "Terry, it's nice to see you again," he told the guard, placing his hands high on the steering wheel so that Terry could see he wasn't holding a weapon. Gina did the same, extending her arms palms up as another man came around to the passenger's side.

   "Where's Jerika?" he questioned, his voice a high pitch that didn't match his imposing appearance.

   "We came to discuss that with Johnson," Devin told him. "There's been some changes, unfortunately."

   Terry frowned, but he unclipped a radio from his belt, radioing to someone named Masters. After a quick conversation, he asked them for any guns that they had on them, and Gina and Devin turned them over without complaint. He let them keep their knives, with the strict understanding that they were only to be removed in case of an emergency. They both agreed, and he motioned for the entrance to be opened.

   Devin thanked him, and they pulled into the compound slowly, traveling another half a mile until a large barn came into site. The property was immense, and there were rows upon rows of crops, with a large silo situated towards the rear. Arcadia also housed dozens of chicken coops along with a main house that was two stories, and held easily a dozen rooms.

   The property was overflowing with people, most of whom were working in the fields, and all of them turned to watch their approach. "There he is," Devin alerted her, pointed toward the house.

   A huge, bulbous man was descending the steps to the house, and Gina was both fascinated and repulsed. He was balding, with piggish features, and he was wearing overalls and no shirt.

   "Jesus," she muttered as Devin snickered.

   "Johnson is someone that needs to be seen to truly be appreciated."

   Gina slipped the knapsack over her shoulder before opening the door, stepping out onto the dirt as Johnson ambled over to the truck. She walked around the front as Devin extended his hand, and Johnson took it, his large fingers wrapping themselves around Devin's and squeezing them, causing Devin to wince slightly. Johnson hadn't addressed her yet, so she waited for an introduction.

   "How the hell are ya, boy?" Johnson asked, clapping Devin on the back with a large clap.

   "I'm doing well," Devin answered as he opened and closed his hand. "We're sorry for coming unannounced, but we've had an unfortunate incident this week."

   At that, Johnson turned, looking Gina up and down with a glint in his eye. She could almost feel him undressing her with his stare and she fought the urge to cover her chest.

   "My, my, are you a sight for sore eyes. Come on over and introduce yourself, sweetling. I won't bite, unless of course, ya want me to," he said as he winked at her.

  She took a few steps forward as she fixed a polite smile on her face. "I'm Gina," she told him and he took her hand, yanking her slightly. "It's a pleasure to meet you."

   "Pleasure's definitely mine, Gina," Johnson replied as his eyes fell to her chest before coming back up to focus on her lips. "How about we take a walk and you folks can get me up to speed."

   Without waiting for an answer, he turned and headed towards the barn, his large form undulating as Gina shuddered internally. Devin smiled at her apologetically as they walked shoulder to shoulder behind him.

   The barn doors were propped open as Johnson strolled through them, and each stall had either a cow or a few goats occupying them. Several bales of hay were stacked along the front of each wall, and the animals seemed well fed. They passed through the other side, and just outside the back was a common area with picnic tables and a fire pit. A wooden fence ran along the back of the property which held a field that butted up against the woods.

   Johnson heaved his large frame up onto the top of one of the picnic tables, which groaned under his weight. Gina and Devin sat down at the table opposite while Johnson snapped his fingers towards a young girl that had appeared seemingly out of nowhere. She nodded and disappeared back into the barn, returning moments later with a pitcher of lemonade and three glasses, pouring one for each of them.

   After she set the pitcher down, Johnson smacked her on the ass, and she hustled off. His eyes were on Gina the entire time, and she forced herself not to react. Grinning, he brought the glass to his mouth, taking a large gulp as some of the lemonade ran out of the side of his mouth, dribbling down onto his overalls. Gina lifted her own glass in a salute before taking a sip, and Devin followed her lead.

   "As Devin said, we've come to update you on our situation," Gina began, but Johnson held his hand up, stopping her.

   "I'd like to hear it from Devin, if ya don't mind, sweetling. No offense meant, but I don't know ya from Adam."

   "Of course," she agreed, lifting the glass to her lips. _I hate this asshole._

   Devin cleared his throat as he placed his hands on his knees.

   "We lost Jerika a few nights ago," he explained as Johnson leaned forward slightly, focusing on Devin. "She suffered a heart attack, and she didn't make it."

   "Now that's a damn shame," Johnson said, and he seemed sincere. "I really came to like that old gal. She had a lot of spunk."

   "Thank you," Devin responded as his fingers gripped his knees, clenching and unclenching them. "As you can imagine, it's caused a bit of an upheaval in our lives. But we came together as a community, and we will now be run by a council, including myself and Gina."

   "Really?" Johnson asked, looking at her derisively.

   "Really," Devin affirmed. "I'll be running our security, and Clinton will be heading up our scavengers. I'm not sure if you've met Trevor, but he's in charge of our fishing vessels, and Gina will be managing our supplies as well as taking over as liaison to our fellow communities."

   Gina gave him a winning smile as he set his drink down. She pulled one of the ledgers from her pack, opening it after she fished a pencil out. Crossing her legs, she looked through it quickly before speaking.

   "I've taken some time to bring myself up to speed on the arrangements Jerika made with the other communities, but I noticed an irregularity when it comes to Arcadia. It seems we've been providing you with fifteen percent of our catches, but we're only getting ten percent in return."

   "That sounds about right," Johnson said with an air of superiority.

   "And why would that be?" Gina questioned nicely.

   "Because that's what we agreed to," he said snidely. "Jerika and I had an arrangement. A bet, in fact. And since I won, she abided by my terms."

   "I'd love to know what that bet was," she told him, smiling as she tilted her head.

   "It was more of a contest, ya see," he replied, as he got down from the table with a grunt.

   "A contest?"

   "A marksmanship contest."

   Gina feigned confusion as he loped over to her, breathing heavily. "A marksmanship contest?" she repeated, her eyebrows coming together. "You mean like shooting?"

   "That's exactly what I mean," he answered, grinning down at her. "She was really good with a gun, but not good enough."

   "I had no idea," Gina said in wonder, as Johnson tucked his thumbs in his overalls, pulling them away from his chest slightly.

   "How about you, girlie? You ever shot a gun?" he asked as he looked down at her, trying to peek down her shirt.

   "I've shot a gun," she affirmed, "but I don't think I'm good enough to take that bet." Devin was looking between the two of them with interest. "Why don't we just stick to negotiating?"

   "I don't negotiate, little lady. You either go with the ten percent or you get going on your way."

   Gina stood up immediately, draining the rest of her lemonade in one gulp. She held out her hand as he looked at it blankly. "Then I guess we'll get going. I appreciate you taking the time to meet with us."

   Johnson snorted as he shook his head. "Bullshit. You need our resources."

   "Actually, we don't," she informed him, her arm still extended towards him. "We have another community that can provide us with vegetables and meat. We'll miss your chicken and eggs," she said honestly, "but we can certainly do without."

   Devin stood up, picking up the ledger and placing it in the bag as Johnson took a step back, refusing to shake her hand.

   "What community?" he demanded, as red splotches formed on his face.

   "I'm afraid that would be privileged information," Gina said as she dropped her arm. "It's not for me to reveal anything about any other groups without their consent."

   With a slight bow, she turned to leave, making it halfway to the barn before Johnson called out to her.

   "You sure you don't want to take that bet?" he called out. She stopped suddenly, causing Devin to bump into her.

   "Why would I take a bet I'm sure to lose?" she said over her shoulder as he chuckled to himself.

   "Life's too short not to try, sweetling," he said as he began to waddle over to them. "You never know, you could get lucky."

   With a sigh, she rubbed her face. "Devin, can I talk to you for a moment? Excuse us."

   Johnson waved them away good-naturedly, and they headed into the barn, just out of his sight.

   "Tell me this is a joke," she whispered to him as he shook his head.

   "It's not. He's a real, dyed in the wool good ol' boy," Devin said softly. "He did the same thing with Jerika. They set up cans on the fence and shot them. Jerika was a good shot, but he was better."

   "Why would she agree to it, though?"

   "I don't know," he answered honestly. "Maybe it was a pride thing."

   "Time's a wasting, girlie. This is a one time only offer," Johnson yelled out, his voice reverberating off of the walls.

   Rolling her eyes, she walked out the door towards him.

   "What are the terms, and how long will they be in effect when I lose?"

   "Tell ya what," he said generously. "You'll only have to provide the fifteen percent for one year when, I mean _if_ , ya lose."

   "One year is a long time," Devin said warningly as Johnson shot him a dirty look.

   Gina bit her lip as she pretended to consider his offer. Johnson tapped his foot on the ground as she looked over his shoulder towards the field.

   "Fuck it," she muttered as he clapped his hands together. "But if I somehow win, you have to agree to an even exchange of fifteen percent. And, you'll send us home today with a dozen of your live chickens."

   "No way in hell, girlie."

   "Then no deal," she insisted as he pulled a red handkerchief out of his pocket, wiping his face and stuffing it back down. "You're going to win anyways, so what's the difference? I'm the one that's getting hosed here."

   "You're a ballsy little thing, aren't ya?" he stated as she shrugged her shoulders.

   "Go big or go home, my daddy always used to say."

   Exhaling loudly, he nodded his head, and they shook on it. "Ya got a deal."

   Twenty minutes later, they were standing in the field. Terry had joined them from the gate, and two large wooden saddle stands had been placed in the middle of the area, each one holding ten cans.

   Johnson handed her a rifle as he explained the rules to her, talking to her as if she were a child.

   "So we got ten cans lined up each, the person that knocks 'em all down using the least amount of bullets wins. Sound simple enough, sweetling?"

   She nodded, wiping her hands on her jeans, as he smirked at her.

   "Devin and Terry here will be our witnesses. Would you like to go first?"

   Gina declined, giving him a nervous smile. "This is your game. By all means, show me how it's done."

   Giving her a wink, he motioned for her to step back, which she did. Johnson brought the gun up, peering through the scope and began firing. Devin was right. He was good, and he got the ten cans in thirteen shots. He held out the rifle when he was done, and Terry took it as he shot her a cocky smile.

   "You're up, little miss. Good luck," he told her, patting her on the ass as he passed her.

   Grinding her teeth, she stepped forward, planting herself directly in front of the remaining cans. Closing one eye, she squinted through the scope before taking a deep breath and exhaling. Eleven shots later, the last can flew up in the air before landing on the ground with a clink, and she held out her own rifle. Terry took it with wide eyes, and she turned around with a smile.

   Johnson's face was now purple, and he spluttered angrily. "You played me, girlie."

   "I wouldn't say that," she argued as Devin came to stand next to her. "I would just say that I made a strategic decision to better my community. Now, are you going to honor the bet?"

   "I'm a man of integrity," he said stiffly as his face twisted in annoyance. "But you best believe we'll be revisiting this a year from now."

   "I look forward to it," Gina told him sincerely.

   One hour later, they were on their way back to Reedville with a dozen chickens housed in cages in the bed of the truck. Once they were on the road, Gina burst out laughing, nearly doubled over as tears began to form in her eyes.

   "Can you believe the luck?" she wheezed as Devin put his head in his hands. "He really is a pig."

   "At least he's an honorable pig," Devin reminded her as she wiped her eyes.

 

    The sun was dark orange and hovering along the horizon as they pulled into the gates. It had been a long two days, and Gina was thankful to be home. Devin told her to head along, that he would get the chickens set up, probably sensing that she was excited to get back to Negan and Casey. She gave him a high five as she passed him, thanking him for all of his help before walking quickly towards the house.

   When she opened the door, Casey's head popped up from the couch, and she ran over, jumping into Gina's arms.

   "What are you wearing?" Gina asked, looking down at her before giving her a kiss.

   "Negan picked it out," Casey told her as Gina set her down. She was wearing a purple shirt, blue leggings, and black socks.

   "I could've guessed," she replied as Negan emerged from the kitchen. "Did you guys have fun?"

   "We ate spaghetti, and soup and omelets and we watched movies and played outside," she answered as Negan came into the foyer, looking drained. He kissed her on the lips before wrapping his arm around her waist.

   "Well, I missed you guys," Gina said as she collapsed on the couch.

   "How did it go?" Negan asked her as he ran his hands through her hair.

   "I'll tell you everything later," she said with a grin, happy just to be with them.


	53. Chapter 53

 

   Casey fidgeted while Gina tied the black ribbon in her hair, tapping her feet on the tile floor of the bathroom. She was wearing new patent leather shoes and they made a pleasant sound on the hard surface. White tights and a black velvet dress completed the outfit, and she looked like an angel with her curls bouncing down her back.

   "Santa will be here soon," she chirped as Gina released her, letting her free to resume a full on dance, her feet moving to a rhythm that she heard only in her head.

   "Santa will be watching to make sure you eat all of your dinner tonight," Gina warned her as the tapping stopped. Large green eyes gazed up at her doubtfully as Gina nodded her head in confirmation.

   "But what if I don't like it?"

  "You never know until you try," Gina told her as she stood up, smoothing down her own outfit. She was wearing a lacy cocktail dress and black heels, her hair swept up off of her neck in a loose chignon. "Come on," she said as she took Casey's hand. "We're going to be late."

  Negan was waiting for them at the bottom of the steps, coats in hand. He let out a whistle when they came into view and Gina gave him a wink.

   "I'm going to have the best-looking dates there," he bragged as he handed Gina her coat, holding Casey's out for her to shrug into.

   "You clean up pretty well yourself," she teased as she fastened the buttons on her jacket.

   He was wearing a black suit, white shirt and red tie that looked striking against his dark hair and brown eyes.

   Gina had just arrived back home after spending three days on the road, and they hadn't had much alone time with the preparations for the town Christmas party. Diane had suggested it, and to her surprise, the entire community had gotten behind the idea. The last few weeks had been devoted to cleaning and fixing up the old fire station, where they would be spending the evening.

  Clinton had spent the day roasting an entire pig, much to the fascination of the town's children, including Casey. None of them had ever seen anything like it before, not that Gina had either. Several of the families had volunteered to cook, so there was going to be a variety of different foods and desserts.

   Besides procuring presents for Negan and Casey, Gina had also spent the last two trips finding things for the other residents, all of whom had provided her a list so that everyone would be getting a gift on Christmas morning. The last three months since the council had been installed had gone amazingly well, so much so that Negan had been placed in charge of the town expansion.

   The neighboring peninsulas on either side of theirs had been cleared of walkers and temporary barriers were constructed to keep it that way. Negan was currently working with several men to build more permanent structures as well as repairing some of the boats that were left behind. It would help them increase the amount of seafood that they would be able to catch, which they could then trade for other supplies.

   He had at first refused the job when Gina suggested it, causing them to have their first argument since they got back together. Negan was content working the wall, but Gina knew he was destined for more. He was too smart to waste his time staring out into the distance for hours at a time. She understood why he was reticent, but after several days of prodding, he had finally agreed. Since then, he was a different person. He seemed to have more purpose, and shades of the old Negan came to the surface, minus the sharp, destructive tendencies.

   The three of them joined the growing number of people that were streaming towards the party, and they walked together in the brisk wind towards the lights. Music was playing softly in the distance, and Casey pulled on their arms to move them along. As they approached, the sounds grew, and they made their way into the old brick building.

   Twinkling lights were hanging from the ceiling, draping everything in a warm glow, and all of the tables were dressed in red and green cloth. Diane was bustling around, directing several people to their seats, and she pointed them towards a large table near the front of a makeshift dance floor. They were sitting with Devin, Tina, her daughter, and Clinton's family.

   Casey made a beeline for Rebecca, and the two of them disappeared into the crowd as Negan pulled Gina's chair out for her. After greeting their tablemates, Negan headed towards the bar that had been set up, joining a few of the men in jovial conversation.

   "You look gorgeous," Tina exclaimed as she moved over a seat to talk to her.

   "Thank you," Gina replied. "You do as well. Green is a great color for you."

   Tina blushed as she glanced down at her dress. It was a dark green and it showed off her toned arms.

   "How are things with Devin?" Gina asked with a wink as Tina's face turned redder. They had finally gotten together after much prodding by Gina, who was relentless with Devin when he accompanied her on her rounds to the other communities.

   "Good," she sputtered as she glanced quickly over at him, but he had left the table to join the men at the bar. "Rebecca's crazy about him, and he's so good with her."

   "I know the feeling," Gina agreed as the two girls came running past.

   Negan returned to the table briefly, bringing her a whiskey and coke, kissing her softly before returning back to the bar.

   "You haven't told him?" Tina asked in surprise as Gina held the tiny stirrer, moving it in slow circles around the plastic cup.

   "Tomorrow," she affirmed as she pushed the glass towards Tina. "I need you to drink this while he's not looking."

   Tina stood up, taking the drink with her. "Come on," she said. "There's a fire out back. We can hide out there."

   She handed the cup back to Gina as they passed by the bar, and Negan watched her curiously as they went out the back entrance. A cozy fire was indeed burning, and several chairs had been placed around it. There were a few other people milling about, and she and Tina sat down.

   Tina took a long drink, wincing slightly from the amount of alcohol as Gina stuck her hands out towards the fire.

   "I can't believe you haven't cracked yet," Tina observed as she took another sip. "When I found out I was pregnant with Rebecca, I told Jason the same day."

   Gina shrugged as she watched the fire. She'd known for four weeks that she was pregnant, and it was a secret that she'd kept to herself, except for Tina, and of course Dr. Thomas. It wasn't that she wanted to keep it from Negan, but she had been so terrified that she'd miscarry, she didn't want to tell him until she was out of the first trimester. She'd also been scared of his reaction. He was happy with Casey, and he loved her dearly, but he'd never once brought up having children of their own.

   When she'd finally figured it out, she was already two months along. At first, she thought that her hormones were just messed up from the birth control implant finally giving out. It wasn't until she started having morning sickness that it dawned on her. Gina had experienced cramping, and she assumed that she'd be getting a period at any time. She'd gone to see Dr. Thomas, who had her take a pregnancy test, but without an ultrasound, he couldn't tell her how far along she was.

   That night, she'd snuck down to the kitchen, pulling an old telephone book out of the cupboard, thankful that she'd never thrown it out. Under the moonlight, she searched the yellow pages desperately until she found an OB-GYN office that wasn't too far out of the way. On her next trip out, she'd dropped Devin off at the gate before going back out, telling that Dr. Smith had requested some medical supplies. He'd offered to go with her, but she'd declined, asking him to inform the doc that she'd be back shortly and to meet her at the gates.

   The office was a standalone building, and there was only one walker wandering through the halls. She'd packed up as much of their supplies that she could, including two ultrasound machines, dragging them to the bed of the truck and rolling them in. When she returned, Dr. Thomas was there, and he directed her to drive the truck all the way to his office. Together, the two of them unloaded all of the supplies, setting both machines up in the back room.

   The first one wouldn't start, and Gina was near tears. But the second was still in working condition, and as soon as he inserted the wand, a little white jellybean appeared on the screen. Dr. Thomas pointed out a little flickering and told her that the heartbeat was strong. She was still in shock, and all she could do was stare at it. It still didn't feel real, and it wasn't until he printed off a picture and handed it to her that she finally broke down.

   Tears of fear, denial, and love began to drip down her face as he handed her a tissue. She had no idea what to do or how to feel. It wasn't that she didn't know this was a possibility, given that they'd always have unprotected sex, but she assumed that if it hadn't happened before, it probably wouldn't ever happen. Gina had harbored the thought that her implant was still functional or it had screwed up her fertility. And they already had Casey.

   After swearing Dr. Thomas to secrecy, she'd tucked the picture in her pocket and walked home on autopilot, wondering how she was going to break it to Negan. She'd had every intention of telling him that night, but when she walked in the door, he was completely frazzled. He'd gotten into an argument with one of his men about the wall and the setup of the new greenhouses, and he was in a sour mood. So she'd shoved the picture in the back of her closet.

   Each day, she'd get up the courage to tell him, only to wimp out at the last minute. The days flew by, and he was oblivious to the changes happening inside her. Outwardly, she'd only gotten a slight pooch to her stomach, and her breasts were tender. When he'd caress them, she'd bite her lip and close her eyes, and he assumed she was enjoying it. If he noticed a change in her appetite, he didn't comment. At dinner, she'd eat a few bites before pushing the rest around on her plate. Gina would get Casey ready for bed and then drag herself to her room. On the nights that Negan would take care of Casey, she'd usually be asleep by the time he joined her.

   He did question her once, but she lied and said she'd spent the whole day loading supplies and that she was just exhausted from the physical work. Negan took her at her word, and she finally scolded herself into setting a date to tell him. Why she picked Christmas, she didn't know, but at least he couldn't flip out with Casey sitting right there.

   Tina finished the drink, handing it back to her as someone rang the firehouse bell, signaling that dinner was going to be served. The two stood up, following the others back into the building, and she grabbed Casey, directing her back to the table where Negan was already seated. His cheeks were rosy from the alcohol, and he planted a kiss on her shoulder as she sat next to him. "Do you want another drink, darlin'?" he asked cheerfully as he put his arm around her.

   "I'm good," she told him as she rested her hand on his thigh. "I don't like to drink while I'm eating."

   "Since when?"

   Gina looked at him pointedly before glancing at Casey. The music continued at a low volume as Diane and several of her workers came around, handing out plates of food. The pork had been roasted perfectly and everyone was served a heaping amount of vegetables. Casey picked at the meat before tasting it carefully. She didn't seem impressed, but she ate it anyway, the threat of no presents clearly having the intended effect.

   The smell of the pork was turning Gina's stomach, so when Casey wasn't looking, she scooped it onto Negan's plate. He eyeballed her, and she thought he might have figured out her secret, but instead, he shrugged, digging in as she ate the vegetables. The conversation rose and fell around them as people finished their meals, leaving their seats to socialize.

   It quieted briefly as Devin stood up, thanking Clinton, Diane and her crew for all of their hard work, and he led a rousing round of applause, causing her face to redden as she retreated towards the firehouse kitchen. The alcohol continued to flow as someone switched up the music, and several people got out on the dance floor. Hovering around the edge, Gina watched in delight as Clinton took to the floor, drunkenly dancing to an old Michael Jackson song. It was completely unexpected, and he moved well for being such a tall guy.

   The music slowed down and Negan came up behind her, wrapping his arms around her. "Would you care to dance?"

   She turned around in his arms, pulling him towards the center as they began to move in a slow circle. The song was Taking You Home, by Don Henley, and it summed up her feelings perfectly. Her fingers played with the hair on his neck as she looked up at him. He held her close as they kept time to the music, and her heart fluttered in her chest.

   "Did you ever in your life think we'd find ourselves like this?" she wondered as he bent his head towards her, placing his lips near her ear.

   "No way in hell," he replied, his voice rumbling in her ear. "But this sure as shit beats the Sanctuary."

   Feeling a tickle in the back of her throat, she clutched him tighter.

   "Are you happy?"

   Negan leaned back to look her in the eye, and he cocked his head as he took in the expression on her face. "Very. Why?"

   "I don't know," she lied. "We're just so far from where we started, I guess."

   "Are you?" he asked, his hand pressing into her back. He didn't look unsure, but his face was not contented.

   "I love you," she told him as her hand moved from the back of his head to his cheek, and she ran her thumb across his lips. "And I'm happy. I'm beyond happy."

   This seemed to satisfy him, and he kissed her sweetly on the lips. When the song ended, he continued to hold her until he glanced over her shoulder with a smile. "Someone's jealous."

   Gina turned around to see Casey watching them, turning from side to side as she held the hem of her dress. After kissing her hand, Negan left her to walk over to Casey. She saw him bend down and talk to her before taking her by the hand to bring her onto the dance floor. After kissing her on the cheek, Gina went back to the table as he danced with her, letting her step on his feet as he steered her around.

   Watching them together, she was overcome with emotion, and she struggled to hide it so that he wouldn't think anything was wrong. When the next song ended, Casey came bounding back over to her, climbing on her lap as Negan walked back over to the bar. The conversation got louder as the night went on, and Gina ended up dancing with Tina, Rebecca, and Casey. The girls soon grew bored, but other women joined them, and they stayed on the floor for the rest of the night. She was having a ball, and as she shook her hips to a Madonna song, she noticed Negan watching her.

   He was looking her up and down, so she focused on him with a grin while she danced until he came over, asking if she was ready to go. It took them a few minutes to get out the door, having to say their goodnights to most of the town, but when they started down the street, he was carrying Casey on one side and he had his hand planted firmly on her backside with the other one.

   By the time they got home and up the steps, Casey was completely out. Instead of waking her up, they slipped her dress and shoes off, carefully sliding a flannel nightgown over her head and arms before tucking her under the covers. Shutting the door tightly, they retreated to the bedroom, where his hands were on her before she had even shut the door.

   "Do those dance moves again," he begged her as she laughed.

   "How drunk are you?"

   "I'm not drunk, baby, I'm fucking horny. We haven't made love in days."

   Negan was already stripping off his tie as he sat at the edge of the bed waiting. To indulge him, she began to sway her hips as she removed her earrings, tossing them on the dresser, even though she felt ridiculous. Stepping out of her heels, she reached back to unzip her dress, sliding her arms out of the lace sleeves and easing it down over her hips, hoping he wouldn't focus on her belly. He didn't seem to notice, he was far more interested in the fact that her breasts were spilling out of the lacy bra that she was wearing.

   Gina walked towards him slowly, coming to a stop in front of him, and she began to unbutton his shirt as his hands gripped her ass, pulling her forward slightly. When she reached the last button, she slid the shirt down his shoulders, and Negan shook his arms free before standing up. He began to kiss her neck as she undid his belt and unbuttoned his pants. She pushed him back into a sitting position, spreading his legs as she turned her back towards him.

   Using his thighs to brace herself, she bent down slightly, grinding on his lap as he let out a satisfied moan. She could feel him hardening against her, and Gina let her head fall back onto his shoulder as she moved. His hands gripped her waist, forcing her down firmly against his erection as she continued to twist her hips until he couldn't take it anymore, and he pushed her forward, standing up behind her as he buried his face in the back of her neck, his hands roaming along her chest.

   He unhooked her bra, his rough hands sliding under the straps before pulling them down her arms, and she let it drop to the floor. Her panties came next, and she stood shivering from both the cool air and the anticipation of his touch on her body. Her libido was rebounding, and Gina could hear his pants fall to the ground. The only thing that was keeping her from attacking him was the faint burn of alcohol that she could smell wafting off of him, and it was turning her stomach slightly.

   Before he could turn her around, she stepped away from him, leaving him nude and erect. She went straight to the bathroom, pulling out their toothbrushes and adding toothpaste to both.

  "Honey, come in here please," she called out softly, and he appeared seconds later with one eyebrow raised. Gina handed him the toothbrush as he looked at her with suspicion. "I know you're not drunk, but I can still smell the alcohol."

   "Why is it bothering you?" he questioned her before putting it into his mouth.

   "It's not bothering me," she fibbed as she ran the brush around her own teeth. "We just ate and drank so much crap tonight, I thought we could both do with some fresh breath." Capping it off with a foamy smile, she rinsed her mouth before wiping it off. As he continued to brush, she ran her hands along his abdomen as she passed by. "Hurry up," she told him as she headed towards the bed.

   When he reemerged, she was laying across it diagonally on her side, her legs and arms twisted so that she was demurely covered. Giving him a come-hither glance, she beckoned him to her with her finger, and he crawled onto the bed as she rolled onto her back. Negan gazed down at her as she licked her lips, and he bent his head to kiss her. The offending alcohol smell was gone, and she groaned in pleasure as his tongue probed her mouth.

   One of his hands slipped between her legs, rubbing and caressing her as she clutched at his hips, pulling him on top of her. Teasing her entrance, he entered her slowly, even as she tried to lift her hips to get him further inside. She was aching so badly that she actually begged him. "Please," she murmured breathlessly.

   "Please what?" he demanded, pulling out slightly.

   "Please fuck me," she pleaded as her hands squeezed his hips, trying to force him inside her.

   "Open your eyes," he told her. She did, struggling to focus as he looked down on her. His eyes were nearly black and they sent a shiver down her spine. "Tell me how bad you want me."

   Gina wanted to scream in frustration. He was witholding pleasure from her, and it was causing her physical pain. "I want you more than anything," she growled through clenched teeth. "I need you inside me right now."

   "Like this?" he taunted, inching himself in. Gina nodded with a whimper, as she wrapped her legs around him. "More," she whispered as he tilted his hips slightly. But it wasn't enough. She needed all of him, and she was practically in tears.

   "Negan, please," she begged him, until he finally put her out of her misery, thrusting himself fully inside her. Gina sighed in satisfaction as he began to move in and out, his hand moving down to rub her roughly. Her eyelids closed in bliss but Negan barked out her name, and she reopened them to see him studying her.

   "Keep them on me," he ordered, maintaining a steady pace. She bit her lip as she fought the urge to throw her head back, her hips making slow circles while he continued to plunge himself into her. The friction from this thumb combined with the smooth strokes caused her to come undone, and she moaned his name as wave after wave rocked her to the core.

   Gina was still shaky as he sped up, his mouth pushing down hard onto hers, while his tongue slipped inside, flicking in and out as she dug her hands into his hair. His pelvis smacked against hers as he grunted, and she could feel the warmth spread as he spasmed, moving erratically.

   "That was long fucking overdue," he muttered before kissing her shoulder.

   "Yeah, well, you're a dick," she snapped as he lifted his head to look at her.

   "Why?"

   "Who makes someone beg for it on Christmas Eve?" she asked as she pushed him off of her. Gina wasn't really mad, she didn't think, but given her emotional state, she was mildly irritated, and to top it off, her she was cramping slightly from the orgasm. It had happened before, so she wasn't worried, but she fought the urge to rub her stomach.

   "This guy does," he replied without shame. She glared over her shoulder at him, but he was grinning so widely that she just got up without a word and rummaged around in her drawer for a nightgown. "Where are you going?"

   "I forgot to put the presents out," she said crossly as she opened the door. Once she was out in the hall, she massaged her stomach, trying to ease the ache as she walked down the stairs. With quiet steps, she went into the study, opening the closet door and pulling out the gifts she had wrapped before her trip.

   The old Christmas tree that came with the house wasn't anything special, but she piled the presents underneath, arranging them by size for some odd reason. Negan's presents were situated towards the back, and she hoped that he'd be happy. He'd be finding out in mere hours that he was going to be a father, whether he wanted to be or not.

   Scolding herself silently, she tried to remain upbeat. He was nothing short of wonderful with Casey, and he'd never once indicated that he didn't want to be involved with her.

   A wave of fatigue hit Gina so suddenly that she contemplated just sleeping on the couch, but she climbed slowly to her feet. Negan was still awake when she got back to their room, but he'd put on a shirt and pajama bottoms. Shutting out the light, she climbed into the bed, laying her head on his chest as he rubbed her arm.

   "Gina, are you okay?" he asked uncertainly as she tightened her grip around his waist. "You seem a bit off."

   "I'm fine," she said, tilting her head to look up at him. The moon was shining brightly into the room, and she could see the concern in his eyes. Scooting up slightly, she kissed him before snuggling against his neck. "I'll be fine," she murmured as her eyes drifted shut.

  Gina woke the next morning to a pair of green eyes peering down at her, and she sat up quickly.

   "Did he come? Did he come?"

   Negan mumbled as he pulled her pillow over his head. It was just after dawn, and Casey clambered onto the bed, jumping up and down.

   "Negan, get up!" she called, landing on his back as Gina rubbed her face. It felt like she just fell asleep, and her eyes were trying to close themselves against her will. "Santa was supposed to come last night."

   Gina threw off the covers, staggering to the bathroom, where she splashed cold water on her face to try to wake herself up. After wiping it dry, she stepped back into the bedroom, where Negan was sitting on the edge of the bed, running his hands through his hair. Casey was still bouncing with excitement as Gina held up her hands in a gesture of surrender.

   "Just a minute," she pleaded as Negan stood, stretching his arms over his head. "Let Negan go down to make sure Santa didn't fall asleep."

   He passed by, kissing her on the forehead as he headed out into the hallway. She could hear him descending the steps and she took Casey by the hand, leading her to the top of the steps. They sat down on the top one, and Casey squeezed her fingers, the anticipation nearly wrecking her.

   "We're all clear," Negan called out as she dropped Gina's hand, racing down the steps at top speed. Gina followed behind, warning Casey to wait as she started a pot of coffee. When she came into the living room, the little girl was perched in front of the presents. Plopping down on the couch next to Negan, she told Casey to play Santa and separate the gifts.

   Looking at each tag, she divided them into three piles, hers being the largest. After shoving Gina's pile towards her and Negan's toward him, she opened her gifts as they watched with sleepy eyes. The floor was covered in wrapping paper by the time she finished, and she was surrounded by clothes, toys, new coloring books, and crayons, along with everything Frozen that Gina was able to hunt down. Without prompting, she stood up, giving each of them a hug and kiss before climbing back in the middle of her booty, completely distracted.

   Gina went into the kitchen, returning with two cups of coffee, handing one to Negan. He sat up and took a sip before setting it off to the side. Reaching down before he could say anything, she handed him a large wrapped package. He opened it slowly, peeling the paper off, seemingly just to annoy her. When he opened it up, a delighted smile spread across his face.

   "It's not the same one," she told him as he held it up, "but it's pretty close."

   The black motorcycle jacket was brand new, and it still had that pleasing leather smell as he admired it.

   "Ooh, that's shiny," Casey said as she came to sit on Gina's lap. Setting her own cup down, she twisted so that she was facing Negan, and she let Casey sit in between them, her fingers combing through her hair.

   After he opened several gift bags of clothes, she reached down and gave him a small container, leaving one gift left. Flipping the little felt box open, he pulled out a silver watch.

   "It's solar powered," Gina said, watching as he clipped it on.

   "I love it," he replied as he held up his wrist. "Why don't you open some of yours?" he suggested as Casey reached down, plucking one out of the pile. With her arms around Casey, she opened it up, surprised to see a beautiful red sweater. She had no idea when he'd been able to go out and find her anything, but he'd done well.

   Jeans, shirts and even a new pair of boots followed, leaving her with one gift of her own. It was a flat box, and she pulled the ribbon off, opening it as a tear came to her eye. Nestled inside was a gold chain with a heart-shaped locket inside. Sniffling, she opened it to find a small picture of Casey.

   "How did you do this?" she asked tearfully as he took it, reaching around her neck to clip it on.

   "I have my ways," he said with a grin. Her heart was pounding as she picked up his final present, laying it on his lap without a word. Unconsciously, she gripped Casey tighter as he pulled off the red paper. The picture frame was face down, and he turned it over, studying it with a serious face.

   Casey leaned over to look at the pictures. Gina had made a collage of photos, using an old Polaroid camera that she'd found. There were shots of Negan and herself, both of them with Casey, and one in the middle of Negan and Casey together. At the bottom of the right corner was the sonogram that Dr. Thomas had done for her the day before, as soon as she had arrived back home. The baby was facing to the left as if he were watching Casey and Negan in the center picture.

   Negan didn't seem to understand, and Casey pointed at the image. "Is that me?" she asked as Negan nodded his head yes.

   "No, sweetie, that's not you," Gina said softly as both of them turned to look at her. Negan's face was still blank as she waited for it to sink in, and his mouth dropped open in shock.

   "You're pregnant?" he asked, looking down at her stomach. His eyes were huge as she smiled uncertainly.

   "Surprise," she mumbled. He stood up quickly, setting the picture on the couch. Casey climbed off of her lap as he pulled her to her feet.

   "How? When? How?" he stuttered as he took her face in his hands. Gina looked up at him with wide eyes, tears forming at the corner. She still wasn't sure if he was happy or not.

   "I'm twelve weeks along. I found out about a month ago."

   His fingers tightened slightly as he squinted at her. "You've known for a month and you didn't tell me?"

   "I-, I wasn't sure how to," she confessed. "I kept working up the courage to, then I'd chicken out. I wasn't sure how you'd react."

   "Don't you know me by now?" his voice was laced in disappointment, causing the tears to fall down her face. "I can't believe you'd go through this alone."

   "I'm sorry," she said as she put her arms around his neck, squeezing him. Negan lifted her up, and she wrapped her legs around his waist, forgetting that Casey was sitting right there watching them.

   "We're having a kid," he confirmed as she nodded silently, her chin bouncing off of his shoulder. "Holy shit."

   Negan set her down, placing his hand on her stomach as he grinned. "This certainly clears a few things up." His face dropped as he glared at her. "Did you drink last night?"

   "No," Gina explained, placing her hand over his. "Tina drank it for me."

   "Are you still going to keep me?"

   The voice was forlorn as both of them turned to look at Casey, who was watching them sadly. Negan picked her up off of the floor holding her in his arms as Gina put her hand on Casey's cheek.

   "What do you mean, bug?" she asked as Casey's chin quivered.

   "If you're having a baby, are you still going to keep me?" she repeated, her voice cracking.

   "Casey," she said gently, kissing her on the cheek, "I love you. I love you as much as if you were my own. You're never going to get rid of me, no matter what."

   "Really?"

   "Really," she said. "I may not have given birth to you, but you're ours, now and forever."

   Casey looked up at Negan, who hoisted her higher in his arms. "I love you too, little darlin'. That will never change."

   She took a little shuddering breath, turning to wrap her arms around Negan's neck as he rubbed her back. "Today is Christmas," he told her. "That's enough tears from both of you. Now, let's get this mess cleaned up and I'll make you my famous pancakes."

   Casey leaned back, looking at him skeptically. "You've never made pancakes before."

   "You're in for a big treat, then," he told her with a smile. "Now, go get a trash bag." Setting her down, she trotted off towards the kitchen as he faced Gina, pulling a small box from his pocket.

   "There's one gift left," he said, tossing it to her. Gina caught it, turning it over in her hands as he waited impatiently. Using her thumbs, she pushed the top open to find a matching pair of wedding rings.

   Negan took them out as he grasped her hand. "May I?" he asked.

   "Are you sure?"

   "I love you and we're having a baby. I've never been surer of anything," he said confidently as he held the smaller ring up to her finger, easing it on. She did the same with his, and he kissed her before getting down on one knee, placing his face near her stomach, kissing it.

   "Can you do me a huge favor though?" he asked as she looked down at him questioningly.

   "Make it a boy."


	54. Chapter 54

 

  
   Zipping up the little overnight bag, Gina picked it up off of Casey's bed, holding it out in front of her enormous stomach. Her back was aching, and she could only take small steps due to the pain in her hips and pelvis. She was days away from giving birth, and she was completely miserable. The first eight months of the pregnancy were relatively easy, and other than normal symptoms, she'd sailed through nicely. 

   But when she hit eight months, her stomach ballooned out and she started to feel tired all the time, achy and just ready to be done with it. It didn't help that summer was here, and it was scorching outside. The old house didn't have any air conditioning, and she'd had Negan set up fans throughout the house. All it did was blow the hot air around, and she sweated her way through several clothes changes every day. 

   Another issue were her constant mood swings. Gina knew she was being irrational, but she couldn't help it. Everything that Negan said or did seemed to irritate her. They way he chewed his food, his light snoring, his joking manner. Anything would set her off, and she had kicked him roughly quite a few times in bed to wake him up when his mouth fell open. It had gotten to the point that he was walking on eggshells around her, afraid to send her into a tirade. She apologized after she calmed down, but something would set her off again, and she'd fly off the handle, or burst into tears. 

   She knew her hormones were making her crazy, and she just wanted the baby out. Tina had offered to take Casey for a sleepover, and Gina had declined at first, afraid of what would happen after the incident with Jerika, but Casey begged her to let her go, and she relented. Rebecca and Tina were downstairs with Casey and Negan as she waddled down the hall to the steps. 

   Negan was laughing and joking with Tina, who stood across from him in a tank top and a tiny pair of shorts. Casey and Rebecca were waiting at the door, and Casey was carrying an armful of toys. Both adults looked up as she made her way down the stairs, and Negan stepped forward to take the bag from her. 

   "Oh, honey, you look miserable," Tina commented as she gave Gina a commiserating smile. 

   "I'm hanging in there," Gina replied as she silently cursed Tina out in her head, with her tiny body and skimpy shorts. _Bitch_.

   "Well, it looks like the baby dropped," Tina said, resting her hand on Gina's belly. "That's a good sign."

   "It's a little easier to breathe," Gina agreed as Tina chuckled. 

   "Get some rest now, because once the baby comes, sleep will be a thing of the past," she chirped as Gina fought the urge to smack her. If one more person told her that, she thought she'd lose her mind. 

   Her face must have been a picture because Negan stepped in, trying to steer them out the door. 

   Leaning down slightly, she hugged Casey and gave her a kiss.

   "Be good for Tina. And have fun."

   "I will," she promised, inching her way towards the door. 

   Bending over, Tina picked up the bag and Negan's eyes strayed towards her ass. When she straightened up, he opened the door, waving them out. 

   "Are you fucking kidding me right now?"

   "What?" he asked, his eyes widening.

   "Did you seriously fucking check her out with me standing right here?"

   "I didn't," he argued, trying to control the anger in his voice.

   Normally she wouldn't give a damn. That's just who he was. But she was in no mood for his bullshit when she was the one who was miserable. 

   "I may be pregnant, but I'm not blind," she snapped as she turned away from him, walking slowly into the kitchen. 

   Whipping the refrigerator door open, she grabbed a cold bottle of water, holding it against her chest as she made her way back into the foyer, passing him without a word. Huffing and puffing up the steps again, she pulled her dress off, dropping it into the hamper. 

   Turning on the faucet, Gina let the water run into the tub, inserting the plug as she bent over with a grunt. The baby was pushing up on her ribs and it was like someone was clinging to them. When it was about halfway full with lukewarm water, she pulled her granny panties off, stepping in carefully. She had to ease herself down slowly, and she sighed in satisfaction as her body began to cool down. 

   A tiny bottle of lavender bath oil was sitting on the edge, and she poured a few drops in. Closing her eyes, Gina tried to relax. Her stomach jiggled as the baby moved, and she rubbed the spot absently. The closer it got to the evening, the more active he or she got. They still didn't know what they were having, but it wasn't intentional. Every time she had an ultrasound done, the baby was always positioned so that Dr. Thomas couldn't tell the sex. She didn't mind not knowing, but Negan was disappointed. 

   The nursery was done and ready, and they'd painted it in creams and yellows. The room was across from Casey, but Gina had found a bassinette that was currently sitting in their bedroom. She wanted the baby with them for at least the first month, since she planned to breastfeed. 

   Casey seemed excited for the new addition to their family, and she was hoping for a little sister. She'd started calling them Mommy and Daddy a few months ago. It had been gradual, just once or twice, and they'd tried not to make a big deal of it. Soon it was all that she'd address them by, and Gina had dissolved into tears after they put Casey to bed one night. 

   Gina had given her a kiss goodnight, and Casey had let out a sleepy mumble. 

   "I love you, mommy and daddy."

   "I love you, too, baby," she'd whispered, her eyes filling up as Negan covered Casey up. 

   "Love you, little darlin'."

   When Gina got back to her room, she'd sat on the bed, crying until Negan came in. He'd put his arms around her, just holding her while she got control of herself. They never talked about it, but after that, Casey started to blossom. She seemed to leave her fears about them dying behind, and she worried less and less about what happened with Jerika. 

   Gina ran her hands along her stomach as she shifted herself in the water. It was starting to get cool, and she was pruning up. As she attempted to get out of the water, she couldn't pull herself up. Her arm strength was nonexistent, and she was trapped. That sent a fresh wave of emotion, causing her to lay there in tears. Who can't get out of their own tub? She tried to roll over, but couldn't turn herself. 

   Ten minutes later, she could hear Negan enter the bedroom. "Gina?" He called out cautiously, afraid of suffering her wrath. He saw the bathroom door was open and made his way in there just peeking his head in.

   "Is everything all right?"

   "No," she sniffled. "I can't get out of the tub. I'm stuck." The tears really started to flow after that and Gina could see him trying to keep a straight face. 

   "It's not funny," she said, crying harder. "I'm trapped like a beached whale."

   "You're not a beached whale," he replied, kneeling down to pull her up into a sitting position. "Why didn't you call me?"

   "Because I was mad at you," she reminded him as she wiped her face. "And now I'm even uglier, all pruned up."

   Negan got to his feet, climbing into the tub so that he could lift her up. Grasping her securely under her armpits, he hefted her from a sitting position to her feet. He pulled the towel from the rack and handed to Gina, and she wrapped it around her body before he helped her from the tub. With a sigh, she walked gingerly out to the bed, sitting down with a groan. 

   "Dr. Thomas is here to check on you," he told her as he rummaged around in her drawer, tossing her a clean nightgown. "I'll be right back."

   She shrugged into the loose material, pulling it down before taking the towel into the bathroom. By the time Negan returned with the doctor in tow, she was back on the bed, pulling her hair into a messy bun. There was a breeze blowing through the windows that she had opened earlier, but Gina was already starting to get warm again. 

   "How are you feeling?" he asked, setting down his little case as he looked down at her. 

   "I'm hanging in there," she said, resting her hand on the top of her stomach. 

   "Any bleeding? Bad cramping?"

   "No bleeding, but some occasional contractions," Gina replied. "Nothing regular."

   Reaching into his case, he pulled out a portable doppler as he motioned for her to lay back. Lifting her legs, she leaned back, as he turned it on, running the wand over her belly. The familiar whooshing filled the air along with the sounds of shifting every time the baby moved. Negan hovered in the background, listening until Dr. Thomas turned the little machine off with a snap. 

   With his stethoscope, he listened to her heart before checking her blood pressure. When that was done, the physical exam came next, and after washing his hands, he returned, helping her back into a sitting position. 

   "Well, everything looks good. You're still three centimeters dilated, and about fifty percent effaced. So I don't see this baby coming tonight."

   Gina's eyes closed briefly and when she opened them, Dr. Thomas was looking at her sympathetically. 

   "I know that's not what you wanted to hear. But you can try taking a nice long walk to help speed things along. Sex sometimes helps as well."

   "Really?" she asked, doubt written all over her face. 

   "Really," he confirmed. "It can help with the contractions. Just make sure you're comfortable. I'll be back to check on you tomorrow, but call me if you need anything. I'll keep my radio on me at all times."

   Negan shook his hand, walking him back down to the front door. By the time he came back, she had changed into a loose pair of shorts and a clean bra and a tank top. 

   "Will you help me put my sandals on?" she asked as she kicked them out of the closet.

   "Now? It's getting dark."

   Gina took a deep breath so that she didn't snap at him. 

   "Yes, now. It's going to cool down outside finally, and you heard the doc. Walking might help, so I'm going to try."

   Once again, she sat on the bed while he kneeled down, slipping the shoes on her feet. The trip down the stairs was slow going, but she made a quick detour into the kitchen for some more water, and when she got back into the foyer, Negan was waiting for her at the door. 

   The sun was setting as they made their way into the street, and there were still plenty of people out enjoying the warm weather. Devin had taken over her duties for the last month, and he would be making her visits until she felt comfortable leaving the baby. 

   Taking Negan's hand, they followed the sun towards the marina, walking slowly. Several people came up to them, and nearly every one of them mentioned that Gina looked ready to pop. Each time one of the residents made the observation, she squeezed Negan's hand tighter until he finally just started cutting them off. 

   Two boats were docking at the marina when they reached the water, and the ocean was disturbingly calm, a sheet of dark blue glass against a purple sky. It was beautiful, and Gina leaned her back against Negan's chest as they stared silently out at the scenery. He had his arms around her, and she tilted her head to the side to look up at him. 

   "I know I've been a monster for the past month," she murmured as he continued to look out over the water. "And I'm really sorry. You've been amazing."

   "You just want to get me into bed," he answered with a smirk before kissing her on the temple. "Besides, I'm used to you going off on me."

   They stood quietly until the sun went down, and he took her by the hand again to lead her home. When they entered the house, Negan helped her up the steps to their room, and before he had even closed the bedroom door, she was on him, kissing him as he struggled to remain standing. 

   "Baby, wait a minute," he said, holding her at arm's length. 

   "What? Dr. Thomas said it was fine."

   "I know that. Let's just take it a little slower," Negan said as her face dropped. "Come over by the bed."

   Gina walked over to the edge, letting him lift her shirt before he helped her out of her shorts, leaving her just in a bra and panties. His hands moved gently over her shoulders and down her arms before coming back up to massage her back. Letting out a deep breath, she closed her eyes, enjoying the soothing movements until he brought his hands around the front, resting them gently on her stomach. Kissing her neck, Negan turned her around so that she was facing him. 

   He took her face in his hands as he guided her down onto the bed, laying her back as he kissed her sweetly. Gina shifted to her side while he undressed, and he came to lay next to her. They took their time, moving slowly until he finally stripped the rest of her clothes off. With help, she shifted onto her knees, resting a pillow under her belly as he entered her from behind. Letting out a moan of pleasure, Gina let her head drop to the mattress as he moved in and out steadily. 

   Their sex life had gotten off track in the last month, but it felt good to have him inside her, rekindling their intimacy. She let her hand wander in between her legs, stimulating herself while he held tightly to her hips. She came before he did, her stomach clenching as she breathed in and out heavily, her back arching almost painfully. And then it happened. 

   Negan called out a name as he orgasmed, and it wasn't hers. Gina's eyes flew open in shock as he continued to move behind her, but she was frozen in one spot until he eased his grip on her sides. Before she knew what was happening, she was scrambling away from him towards the other side of the bed. When she righted herself, he was looking at her in confusion. 

   With labored breaths, she barrelled past him to the closet, pulling out a bag and flinging at his head, hitting him square in the face. Clothes followed, sailing through the air and landing at his feet. 

   "I want you out of this house, now," she screeched as he stood there uncomprehendingly. 

   "What the fuck is going on?" he asked as she whipped his drawers open, throwing handfuls of clothes towards him. 

   "You just called out your dead wife's name," she told him as she balled up a couple of shirts, tossing them on the floor. 

   "What? No, I didn't," he said, his head moving from side to side. 

   "If you don't get the fuck out of this house, I'm going down to get my gun," she warned him as she hurriedly slipped on her nightgown, backing towards the door. 

   "Have you lost your mind?"

   "Have you?" she yelled, clutching her stomach. "We've been together for years, I'm carrying your fucking child, and you're still thinking of her. While you're inside me!"

   Stepping out into the hall, she backed away from him towards Casey's room. "You can go bunk with Tina. Hell, you can go find yourself another Lucille for all I care, but you better be gone in five minutes or I'm going to call for every man in this town to physically remove you."

   "Gina-"

   She wasn't sure what he was going to say because she slammed Casey's door so hard that the walls shook. Ten minutes later, she heard his footsteps outside in the hall. They stopped briefly just past the door before continuing on down the steps. A moment later, the front door opened and closed. Once she was sure he was gone, she went down and locked the front and kitchen door before sitting on the couch and bursting into tears. 

   Of all the things that had gone on between them, this hurt the worst. He was thinking of Lucille while he was with her. Maybe he always did, but she'd been blissfully ignorant to the fact. She knew that it was normal to fantasize. Hell, she was a red-blooded woman. She'd done the same. But she'd never called out someone else's name. And the fact that she was so close to giving birth to his child made it even more devastating, along with the fact that he didn't even realize he'd done it. 

   As if sensing there was something amiss, the baby moved restlessly, making Gina nauseous. She rubbed her stomach, trying to soothe him or her as she laid down on the couch, pulling the afghan over her body. She and the baby laid awake for several hours before falling into a brief sleep. 

   The sound of a knock on the door woke her, and she got herself to her feet unsteadily, before stumbling to the door. If it was Negan, she was going to lose her mind. But as she peeked out, her entire body relaxed, and when she swung it open, started to cry. 

   Talia was standing there with a suitcase, and her eyes were wide as Gina threw her arms around her sister.


	55. Chapter 55

   Talia set her suitcase down and followed Gina into the dining room. Pulling out a chair, she sat down as Gina went into the kitchen, returning a few minutes later with a cup of coffee and some tissues.

   "Gina, what's going on? Why did Negan show up in Alexandria in the middle of the night?" Talia asked as Gina set the cup down in front of her.

   Gina started to cry again, burying her face in her hands as Talia came around to sit next to her, rubbing her back until she got control of herself.

   In a shaky voice, Gina told her everything. She told her about the past month, how hard it's been, how emotional and tired she'd felt. How Dr. Thomas told her the night before that she still wasn't ready to give birth yet, and that he'd suggested that she take a walk, and even try having sex.

   "When he finished," Gina continued, not looking at her sister, "he called out his previous wife's name."

   "Which one?" Talia questioned hesitantly, assuming it was someone from the Sanctuary as Gina looked at her with red eyes.

   "His real wife. The one from before everything happened."

   "Oh, Jesus."

   "Lucille. Her name was Lucille," Gina said morosely. It pained her just to say the name. The mysterious woman that she had to share Negan with.

   Talia placed her hand on Gina's, causing her to look up into her twin's eyes. "You know he didn't mean to hurt you."

   Gina glared at her sister, her face twisting into something ugly. "Would you like it if Daryl called out Beth's name while you were having sex? Do you think you'd be so quick to shrug it off?"

   It was a low blow, and Gina knew it, even as she said the words. Talia had told her about the young woman from Daryl's past in confidence, and her face hardened in response.

   "Look, I'm sorry," she apologized, blowing her nose. "I just don't want to hear you defend him right now."

   "I'm not defending him," Talia replied. "I'm not. But he shows up in the middle of the night, telling me I need to pack a bag and come here to take care of you, and doesn't tell me why. He didn't talk the entire way back, and wouldn't follow me to the house."

   "Because I kicked his motherfucking ass out after it happened," Gina said harshly. "He's lucky I didn't shoot him."

   Talia sighed as she stood up. "You need to get some rest. Go upstairs and go to sleep."

   "I'll be fine."

   "Gina, just do what I tell you to do."

   Grumbling under her breath, Gina stood up, rubbing the small of her back before climbing the steps to her room. All of Negan's clothes that she had thrown at him were gone, and she pulled down the covers before laying down, pushing his pillow off the side of the bed. She didn't want to have anything of his near her. The baby was still, and she rested her hand on her stomach, falling asleep in minutes.

   A contraction woke her a few hours later, and Gina grabbed the clock off of the night stand, squinting to see the time. It was after eleven, and she hefted herself into a sitting position. Her feet were swollen, and she rolled her ankles around, trying to get the blood flowing before standing up.

   After brushing her teeth, she went down to the main floor where Talia was eating lunch with Casey.

   "I didn't hear you come in, bug," Gina remarked, bending down to kiss her on the top of her head.

   "Tina brought me back a while ago," she said, looking up. "Aunt Talia made me some lunch, and we're going to go down to the docks. Do you wanna come?"

   "I do," Gina told her, sitting down next to her, eating the crusts that were laying along the edge of the plate.

   An hour later, they were sitting in chairs by the water, and Gina leaned her head back, letting the sun soak into her skin. She could hear Casey and Talia chattering next to her along with the seagulls crying for food as the men unloaded their latest catches. A part of her wanted to go into her office to review the ledgers, but another contraction killed that desire as she kept her eyes closed, breathing deeply.

   This was the fourth one since she'd woken up, and they were about a half an hour apart. Gina was hopeful that this was the beginning of the end of this pregnancy.

   "Daddy!"

   Gina's eyes flew open to see Negan approaching them from the side. Casey was out of her seat in a flash and up in his arms, kissing his cheek as he looked at Gina warily. She, however, refused to speak to him, struggling to stand up from the chair. He extended his arm to help her, but she ignored him. Once she was on her feet, another contraction began, and she doubled over, breathing through her mouth as the three watched her.

   "Momma, is the baby finally coming?" Casey asked as she rested her head on Negan's shoulder.

   "Pretty soon, honey," Gina said as she regained her composure. Right now, she wanted nothing more than to go home, and she started walking towards the house with Negan, Casey, and Talia all following behind her.

   When they got to the front door, Negan set Casey down, hovering outside as the rest of them went into the house.

   "Come on," Casey told him, pulling him in by the hand. He stood just inside the foyer as Gina sat down in the dining room. Talia disappeared into the kitchen, returning with some water.

   "Can I please talk to you?" he asked, coming to the edge of the room.

   "Casey," Gina called, looking past his shoulder as she came running into the room.

   "How'd you like to have a sleepover with daddy?" she asked as Casey looked between the two of them.

   "A sleepover where?"

   "Over on the other street," Talia interrupted, trying to diffuse the tension. "I think your dad's going to spend the night over there working so that mom can get some rest."

   "Oh. Okay," she said, unaware of the underlying stress that was building in the room.

   "Come on," Talia told her, taking her by the hand. "Let's go pack you a bag."

   The two of them passed Negan by, and her sister exchanged a glance with him that she couldn't see. When they were all of the way up the steps, he sat down as far from her as he could get, while Gina stared at the glass of water until another contraction started.

   Balling her hands up into fists, she took deep breaths as the pressure built, leaning forward until it started to dissipate.

   "Please tell me what I can do," he pleaded, trying to get her attention. "I never meant to hurt you. I didn't even know that I said it."

   "Lucille," Gina corrected as she finally looked him in the eye. "Her name was Lucille. Not 'it'. Say her name now."

   Negan's mouth opened and closed quickly, nothing coming out.

   "Say it," she prodded, her voice rising.

   He dropped his eyes to the table. "Lucille," he said quietly.

   "Right," she replied just as softly. "That's all I needed."

   "What do you mean?" His voice was sharp as he looked back up.

   "I'll make sure you're notified when I go into labor, and you can be there of course. But I don't want you in this house."

   "Gina, don't do this," he said, standing up to approach her. She stood as well, holding her hands up to stop him.

   "You're not going to make me feel guilty for this," she warned him. "You have no idea how that felt. You never will, because I could never do something like that to you. But for argument's sake, let's say I had. If I had been on top of you, and I called out another man's name as I was moaning in ecstasy, how easy would it be for you to just forget about it? Especially if it was my deceased husband?"

   She watched him swallow hard, his Adam's apple moving up and down as he tried to think of something to say that wasn't a lie.

   "I would be fucking furious and hurt," he admitted.

   "Negan, I know you love me," she replied, her eyes starting to glisten, "but I can't compete with a ghost. I don't know how, and I've got to protect myself. Any time we go through a crisis, I'm always the one that gets hurt. And I just can't do it anymore."

   "So this is it?"

   "For now," Gina told him, wiping her eyes. "I may be able to get over this someday, but today isn't that day. And you obviously have to face your past, since you can't seem to let her go. And that's not even remotely fair to me."

   Talia and Casey emerged from her room, and she went to pass him when he put his arm out to stop her. Looking up into his eyes, she could see the pain there, but it was no match for her own. He didn't touch her, but she could feel the heat from his body until Casey hit the bottom steps, and he dropped his arm to let her go.

   "What's wrong?" Casey asked, seeing that Gina's eyes were red.

   "Nothing, bug. I'm just having some more contractions, and they're getting painful. Do you have everything you need?"

   "Yeah," she said, holding up her little bag.

   Gina wrapped her arms around her, hugging her tightly. "Oh, I'm going to miss you. But have fun, and I'll see you in the morning."

   "I will," Casey promised, putting her hand on Gina's belly. "Bye, baby."

   Struggling to swallow, she watched as Negan took Casey by the hand, walking her to the door. The little girl stopped suddenly, narrowing her eyes at Negan.

   "You didn't kiss her goodbye," she accused as he looked at Gina helplessly.

   Negan let go of her to walk back to Gina, bending to kiss her on the cheek. She inhaled deeply, taking in his smell as he hovered near her, and she very nearly broke. But her hand came up, resting on his chest before pushing him away gently.

   Gina stood on the porch, watching them walk away hand in hand, and she started to cry in earnest as they disappeared towards the gate. Talia touched her on the shoulder, and Gina followed her back into the house, sitting on the couch next to her as she continued to sob, stopping only when another contraction hit.

   She spent the rest of the day cleaning the house as Talia hovered over her, trying to get her to eat. The radio would spark to life occasionally, as Dr. Thomas and Negan checked in on her condition. Gina would talk to the doctor, but when Negan radioed in, she'd hand it to Talia, only speaking when Casey's voice came over the speaker.

   Daryl showed up just as they were sitting down to dinner, and he came in, dropping a duffel bag on the floor as he looked around suspiciously for Negan. Talia pulled him into the kitchen to update him on what was happening, and to his credit, he didn't say anything to Gina. He just kissed her on the forehead before loading his plate up with food.

   Too upset and anxious to eat, Gina took a few bites before leaving the table, trying to walk through the contractions, which were coming more frequently. By the time the sun had set, she was having them every eight minutes or so, and Talia convinced her to take a walk around town to try to work through them. Daryl had to help her back into her shoes, which were tight on her feet due to the swelling.

   They walked to the pier and back twice, and by then, Gina felt like her pelvis was going to split open. While Daryl slept, Talia kept her company, rubbing her back and helping her work through the pain. The baby continued to move restlessly, and she wanted Negan with her so badly that she nearly called him on the radio, hesitating several times before finally letting Talia make the call.

   He must have been sleeping because she had to try four times before he finally answered. Fifteen minutes later, he came rushing through the door with Casey fast asleep in his arms, moving swiftly up the steps to put her in her room. When he returned, Gina was leaning over the arm of the sofa, whimpering as Talia dug her thumbs in the base of her spine.

   "They're down to six minutes apart," Talia told him a weary voice. "I'm going to go up and get a little rest, but call me if you need anything. Dr. Thomas wants to know when they're four to five minutes apart."

   Gina was oblivious to all of this, and when the pain stopped she straightened up to see Negan hovering over her. He opened his mouth, and she interrupted.

   "I don't want to talk about anything," she warned him with tired eyes. "I just want to get through this."

   He nodded his head that he understood, and she sat on the edge of the couch. Her legs were shaking from the effort, and she leaned back against the cushions while he perched next to her.

   "Can you get me a wet washcloth?" she finally asked and he rose, returned a minute later, laying it across her forehead. It was cold, and it felt good until another contraction hit, and she flung it off as she sat up and leaned over her knees, moaning slightly. Negan dug his hands into her back just like Talia had done, and she clenched her knees as her entire body tightened in pain.

   "I need you to keep track of the time," she panted as the cramping subsided.

   It was just before dawn when the contractions reached five minutes apart, and Negan got on the radio, alerting Dr. Thomas. He advised them to head down to his office, and Negan snuck up the steps to get her bag. He was back in seconds as she rocked back and forth, holding onto the banister. She felt his arms around her as he steadied her, and Gina leaned back on his chest when it was over. Beyond exhausted from a lack of sleep, she let him lead her out into the cool air after he left a note for Talia.

   They almost made it to the office before another one struck, and she clutched his hand as she doubled over, breathing rapidly in and out through her nose. They were able to resume their steps shortly after, and Dr. Thomas was waiting on the porch, ready to help them inside.

   "Are you two ready to have a baby?" he asked jovially as Gina followed him into the little exam room. Everything was set up for the delivery, and he left her to change into a hospital gown while he stepped out. She let Negan help her since her arms felt like jelly, and when she was properly covered up, he called for Dr. Thomas to come back in.

   He strapped her to a fetal monitor that Clinton and his crew had found, and got an iv going, stopping only when the contractions came. Once he got her feet into the stirrups, he checked her progress while Negan stayed up by her head. Whatever he was doing was uncomfortable, and she closed her eyes to block out even more pain.

   "You're up to eight centimeters and almost fully effaced, so it shouldn't be too much longer," he told her, smiling broadly as he stripped off the rubber gloves. "I'll be back to check on you soon."

   After he left the room, Gina turned to her side, facing the monitor as Negan sat down in the chair on her other side. He didn't say anything until he heard her sniffling.

   "Are you in pain?" he asked unsurely as her shoulders moved up and down.

   "I just can't believe this is how it's happening," she said in a hoarse voice. "This was supposed to be a happy experience."

   "I know I'm a fuck up," he said urgently, and she heard the chair shift as he stood up, walking around the table to get down near her head. "I've been one as long as I can remember."

   His eyes were red as he ran his hands through her hair. "I'd just been feeling so guilty lately."

   Gina watched him as his eyes unfocused slightly. "I failed her. This was the life she'd always wanted us to have, and I was too selfish to give it to her. I've felt guilty because I got a second chance to be happy, and she didn't."

   Another contraction started, and he blinked rapidly as she brought her knees up as high as they could go, watching the machine as the pain increased. When it eased off, he continued speaking.

   "You deserve better, and maybe you're right to kick my ass to the curb. All I ever do is make you cry," he said, wiping the tears off of her cheek. "See?" he said with a sad smile, holding up his thumb.

   "I hope I'm a better father to these two than I ever was as a husband."

   The door opened and Dr. Thomas came in, handing her a small cup of water. Gina shifted onto her back as Negan walked out of the room.

   "Is everything alright?" he asked, watching her closely.

   "No," she said honestly.

   "Something I can help with?"

   "No, Doc, it's got nothing to do with the baby," Gina explained as he rested his hand on her shoulder. "It's a relationship problem."

   "Ahh," he said understandingly. "I don't want to pry, but I do want to tell you that this stage of a relationship is very trying. I've seen a lot of people that were deeply in love falter because it's a tense situation. I can only recommend that you not make any hasty decisions. Give yourself a little time and perspective."

   Gina nodded, giving him a little smile to placate him. She wondered if he'd be so quick to write it off if he were in her position, but she didn't want to drag him into their bullshit. His only job was to deliver their baby, not to make her feel better about being a consolation prize.

   Twenty minutes later, Negan returned as she was in the throes of another contraction. His eyes were still bloodshot, and his demeanor was completely defeated. Dr. Thomas shot him a look before politely asking him to stay with Gina while he went to get ready. Her back was really hurting, so she climbed to her feet, letting him help her to the ground.

   The next contraction was intense, and she wrapped her arms around Negan's chest, clinging tightly as she moved from side to side. He kissed the top of her head as she moaned into his form, massaging her back until it ended. She dropped her hands, but he didn't, continuing to hold her as if he thought it would be the last time. He held her so long that Gina ending up grabbing him again as she went through another one, this time crying out in pain. The discomfort reverberated through her entire body, and Dr. Thomas hurried back in, helping her back onto the table.

   Quickly putting her legs up, he checked her again before turning on the overhead light.

   "You're fully dilated," he announced, pulling a table over that was loaded down with medical supplies.

   "Help hold her legs," he instructed Negan as he got down near the edge of the bed, pulling out a removable part of the table. "Okay, Gina, on the next contraction, I want you to push. Concentrate all of your energy on your bottom."

   Nodding tiredly, she grasped her knees, bearing down when he told her to. After counting to ten, he told her to relax, and she let her head drop back onto the table. There was a knock on the door, and Dr. Thomas' assistant, Heather, came in. She was a polite woman in her forties who'd joined their community just after the holidays. Heather had been an OR nurse, so she was a great backup to the doctor. She was also very energetic, and she greeted them with a big smile before coming around to help assist.

   Gina continued to push on every contraction, but it didn't feel like she was making any headway, other than the pain increasing in her abdomen. After a dozen or so pushes, she felt a gush of warm liquid, and she assumed it was her water breaking until Dr. Thomas stood up quickly, his hands covered in blood. It was dripping onto the floor, making a plopping sound.

   "I need you to stop pushing," he said sharply as Heather rushed out of the room. "Your placenta has abrupted," he told her, reaching for the missing table piece and attaching it quickly before lowering her legs.

   "What about the baby?" Gina gasped, clutching her stomach as a wave of pain shot through her.

   "We need to do a c-section now," he said, wiping betadine on her stomach as she reached for Negan's hand, her eyes filling with tears.

   "Is she going to be okay?" Negan demanded, looking down at her as his face paled.

   "I have to move quickly," Dr. Thomas said as Heather came running back in, grabbing her iv and inserting a needle into the line. "The baby is losing oxygen."

   Seconds later, spots began to crowd her vision, and the last thing she remembered was Negan looking down at her, and his mouth was moving but she couldn't hear the words as she drifted into darkness.


	56. Chapter 56

**Talia**

 

   The guest room was dark as Talia entered, feeling her way to the bed. She tripped over her suitcase, swearing loudly as the lamp clicked on. Daryl was squinting in the light as she limped over towards him, collapsing on the bed.

   They were once again plunged into darkness, and she settled onto her back, listening to Daryl's breathing slow back down.

   "How's your sister?" he asked quietly as she rolled over to face him, waiting until her eyes adjusted before reaching out for his hand.  
   

    "Getting closer," she said, pulling him towards her.

     "I take it the asshole's here?"

     "He just got back," Talia told him with a sigh. She knew how Daryl felt about him, but he had thawed considerably since Negan returned to Alexandria to serve out his sentence. "He should have been here the whole time helping her."

   "Talia, ya need to stay out of it," he warned her as she made her way into his arms. "Ya wouldn't want her interferin' in your life."

   "She's my sister," Talia reminded him. "My twin. I don't like to see her in pain."

   Daryl tightened his hold on her. "Well, there's only one source of her pain. The same one every time, and I don't understand why ya always seem to overlook that."

   She thought about it for a while before answering him.

   "He's also the source of her happiness," she said softly. "He's a damaged human being, but underneath the attitude and bluster, Negan is vulnerable. You forget that I spent a lot of time with him, and I saw how much he really cares for Gina."

   "That doesn't mean they're right for each other," he argued as she reached out to caress his face in the darkness.

   "Maybe you're right," she conceded. "But you might be wrong. And either way, they're having a baby, so they'll be a part of each other's lives as long as they live."

   He didn't respond, and she closed her eyes, listening to his breathing, letting it lull her to sleep.

   As the light dawned, she opened her eyes to see that Daryl was laying on the edge of the bed, his back to her. He was still deeply asleep, and she got up as quietly as she could to go down and check on Gina. The main floor was empty, however, and she started for the kitchen, spying a note on the dining room table.

   It was from Negan, and it said that they'd headed to the doctors. There wasn't a time on it, so she had no idea when they left. Her excitement was growing, so instead of starting some coffee, she went back upstairs, shaking Daryl awake.

   "Daryl, wake up," she said, nudging him in the back. He sat up quickly, rubbing his eyes while she unzipped her suitcase, pulling out fresh clothes.

   "Gina's at the doctor's, so I'm going to head over there. Can you keep an eye on Casey?" Talia asked, stripping off her clothes and putting on clean ones as he got out of the bed.

   "Yeah, yeah, no problem," he told her as she gave him a quick kiss before hurrying out into the hall and to the steps. Opening the front door quietly, she called out to the first person she saw, asking them where Dr. Thomas's office was. They pointed her towards the pier, and she kept a swift pace until she got to his door.

   Talia contemplated knocking, but she was too nervous to wait, so she opened it up, her heart dropping to her feet as she saw Negan pacing the hall like a caged lion.

   "What's happening?" she asked, too afraid to really know.

   Negan didn't look at her as he kept moving, going back and forth to one of the doors, and the fear, anger and uncertainty were wafting off of him.

   "Negan, what's going on?" she asked again, this time more forcefully.

   "She started bleeding," he said in a rough voice, and when he turned to face her, the top of her scalp started to tingle. "They said they had to do a c-section and kicked me out."

   Talia could see the pain and desperation on his face, and she wasn't able to form any words. Negan resumed his pacing as she leaned against the wall until they heard the sharp cries of a newborn. Her eyes pricked with tears as they listened to him wail, while Negan rested his forehead against the door until it opened and a woman emerged, holding a baby in her arms. Talia had never seen her before, and she thrust the child into Negan's care. Her face was grave as Talia approached.

   "My sister," she whispered as the woman looked at her, startled no doubt by resemblance.

   "I have to get back in," she said steadily. "I'll update you as soon as I can, but stay nearby."

   "How is she?" Talia begged as Negan held the baby to his chest.

   "She's still losing a lot of blood. Just stay put in case we need you to donate some."

   Without waiting for a response, the woman went back into the room, closing the door. Talia's legs nearly gave out, the only thing keeping her upright was the whimpering bundle in Negan's care. He was looking down, and she could see a tear run down his nose, dripping onto the blanket.

   Inching forward, she peeled back the blanket, exposing a face with silky dark hair and a pink skin. The baby's eyes were closed, and Talia unwrapped the bundle with shaking hands as she let out a long breath, covering him back up.

   "It's a boy," she said tearfully as she looked up at Negan, who was struggling to maintain his grip on reality.

   "Can you take him?" he asked in a hoarse voice, and nodded, securing the baby in her arms as he charged towards the door, opening it.

   Talia had seen a lot of things in her life, but nothing prepared her for what lay behind that door. The doctor had his hand inside Gina's stomach, working furiously as blood continued to flow out of the opening. The nurse was handing him surgical tools as Gina lay unconscious, her mouth slightly parted.

   Negan let out an agonized wail, and the nurse looked up, ordering them to close the door. One handed, Talia reached out, pulling it shut as she tried to drag Negan backward. He didn't resist, and when she guided him down the hall looking for someplace to sit, he let her lead him. Talia very much wanted to break down, but Negan had beat her to it, so she needed to maintain her sanity for the time being.

   He slumped onto the sofa, resting his head in his hands as he finally lost it, his shoulders shaking. Talia looked down at the little boy, rocking him as she tried to soothe him.

   "It's okay," she cooed. "Your momma's going to be just fine."

   The baby let out a squeak before finally opening his eyes. They were a slate blue, and she watched him in wonder, praying fervently that Gina would be okay.

   The minutes ticked by slowly while they waited for any word, but no one came to see them until about a half an hour later. Dr. Thomas walked into the living room, and Negan shot out of his seat, getting as close to the doctor as possible.

   "She's alive, but she's lost a lot of blood, and she went into shock," he said, looking between the two. "We had to resuscitate her, and fortunately she responded."

   Negan's hands clenched the doctor, who winced at the pressure.

   "Is she going to be okay?" he demanded, the anger growing on his face.

   "I need her sister to donate as much blood as she can," Dr. Thomas replied, shaking his arms free. "She's unconscious right now, so it's a waiting game."

   He looked between the two of them, and he seemed grave. "Let's get her some blood so that she can recover, and hopefully she'll regain consciousness," he reiterated, motioning for Talia to follow him.

   Unable to think, she handed the baby back to Negan, trailing behind the doctor who was already back in the room. _Hopefully_. The word rattled around her brain as she stepped into the aftermath. Blood was still all over the floor as she avoided looking at Gina as long as possible, and there were bandages littering every surface.

   The woman led Talia over to the table, where Gina was covered up with a thin sheet. Her skin was ghostly pale, and her lips were tinged a slight blue. She looked barely alive, and Talia let out an involuntary gasp. The woman told her to sit down next to her sister, and Talia fell heavily into the chair as the woman bustled around. Nothing about this felt real.

   She held out her arm mechanically as she placed the other one on Gina's hand. It was cool to the touch, and Talia began to cry as she felt a pinch on her skin. The woman inserted a needle quickly, and she attached the tubing to a similar spot on Gina's arm.

   "Is she going to make it?" Talia asked, not taking her eyes off of Gina's chest, watching it move up and down slightly.

   "She's young and otherwise healthy," the woman said softly, going around the other side of the table and inserting a stethoscope into her ears. She placed it on Gina's chest, listening to her heart. "Once we get some blood and fluids into her, we'll know more."

   "How could this have happened?" she whispered, too stunned to speak any louder.

   "It's not common for a placental abruption to happen this late in a pregnancy, but it can occur. If we'd have been at a hospital, we'd have more at our disposal. But Dr. Thomas worked fast to control the bleeding, and the baby is healthy."

   Once she was sure the blood was flowing properly, she exited the room, leaving Talia alone with Gina. Her stomach was still swollen, and the dark circles under her eyes stood out against her chalky skin. Reaching out, Talia smoothed her hair back before resting her hand on Gina's forehead and leaning in towards her ear.

   "Gigi, please come back. You can't leave now," she said, her voice pained. "You have a son. A daughter and a son, and they need you."

   Her vision blurred as she blinked away the tears. "Do you remember what it was like without mom?"

   Talia closed her eyes, bringing up the image of her mother. Her memories were hazy, so the only recollections she had were made up of pictures. Their mother had been beautiful, with long glossy black hair and warm hazel eyes. Several large portraits had been scattered around their house growing up, showing the twins in their mother's arms, or posed with both of their parents.

   "Don't let your kids grow up without you. They need you to guide them. To protect them as only a mom can. You've fought for too long for what's yours to slip away like this, so fight," she whispered, laying her head down next to Gina.

   A few minutes later, Negan came shuffling in, stopping short when he saw Gina's face. Talia could hear him breathing rapidly, but she didn't lift her head. When he came around, she saw him out of the corner of her eye, and he sat down in the other chair by her head.

   She'd seen him cocky, and she'd seen him broken, but Talia had never witnessed him completely despondent like he was now. His eyes were hollow, and he looked like he was ready to keel over. With shaky hands, he turned Gina's head slightly, kissing her softly on the lips as he rubbed her cheek gently.

   "Talk to her," Talia urged softly as she lifted her head. Negan closed his eyes, bending down to her ear, much like Talia had done.

   "I don't know what to say," he admitted, his closed eyes squinting shut even more as Talia felt a flicker of annoyance.

   "You love this woman," she said in a low voice. "How could you not know what to say to her? What if this is the last thing she ever gets to hear?"

   Negan's eyes opened, and he glared at her in anger. "Don't say that."

   "It's time to nut up, Negan," she challenged him. "You've got a long rambling speech for every occasion, and you can't possibly come up with words for my sister?"

   He looked back down, his thumbs moving tenderly over Gina's eyelids, and when he finally spoke, it was with halting words.

   "I would give anything to switch places with you," he murmured. "But you're so much stronger than I am. You can come back from this. You've made it through so much. So, so much. A lot of it caused by me, king of the assholes."

   He let out a derisive laugh. "Now, I know I'm a handsome fellow, but beyond that, I didn't understand for the life of me what you saw in me. You weren't afraid of me like everyone else, and I couldn't use that to control you. For the longest time, I thought I did have you under my thumb. But just when I assumed I had you figured out, you'd do or say something to surprise me."

   Talia flexed her arm, watching the tube as he continued to talk.

   "I found myself seeking you out, thinking about you when I wasn't with you. You dragged me kicking and screaming back to humanity. But I can't do this without you, darlin'. I need you. The kids need you, and they deserve to know what a wonderful mother they have. So please, please, don't leave me. Not again. Not ever again."

   He bent down, kissing her over and over until the door opened and Dr. Thomas came in, looking upset with Daryl right behind him.

   "You can't donate any more blood," he said, reaching to disconnect the needle.

   "What are you talking about?" Talia replied, holding her arm away from him.

   "You didn't tell me you were pregnant," he told her, beckoning her to comply.

   "What difference does that make?" she asked, keeping her arm out of his reach.

   "Because your body needs it," he insisted as Daryl made his way forward.

   "Talia, they found a few donors," he replied, his eyes wandering down to Gina before looking back at her. "They're going to make sure that she gets as much as she needs."

   Her shoulders sagged as she let Dr. Thomas remove the needle, bending her arm when he was done to stop the blood flow.

   "I'm so sorry," Negan said sincerely as he continued to rub Gina's face. "I didn't know."

   "You didn't do anything wrong," Talia assured him, standing up as Daryl took her by the arm. The woman returned, thrusting a cup into her hand and insisting that she drink it, before introducing herself.

   While she downed the apple juice, Heather checked Gina's vitals, proclaiming that she was holding steady, while a man came in hesitantly, hovering by the door until Dr. Thomas directed him to the seat that Talia had just vacated.

   "Where's the baby?" Talia asked as Heather pointed down the hall. Daryl followed her back to the living room, where Casey was sitting with a doll, while the baby was nestled in a bassinet.

   "Hey, sweet pea," Talia told her, sitting down next to her.

   "Hi," Casey said, completely oblivious to the sad turn the baby's birth had taken. "Did you see my new brother?"

   "We did. Isn't he handsome?"

   In typical child fashion, she scrunched up her face. "He's all squishy."

   "Well, he's brand new," Daryl told her, squatting down as she frowned.

   "When can I go see my mom?" she questioned as Daryl glanced up at her.

   "Your mom is sleeping right now," Talia said gently, sitting down on the couch next to her. "She had a long night, and she needs some time to recover."

   They sat there for about a half an hour until Dr. Thomas came into the room, gesturing for her to follow him out into the hall.

   "She's still unconscious, but we're going to keep pushing fluids and we found three more people to donate blood if needed. Right now it's a waiting game, and under the circumstances, her husband doesn't want to leave her. Will you be able to take care of their children?"

   "Of course," Talia told him as he led her into his office. Twenty minutes later, she was back in the living room, gathering up Casey and the baby, handing Daryl a list of instructions for what they needed to do, and any troubling signs that they should look out for.

   Holding the baby carefully, they exited the house, heading towards their temporary home. Casey let Daryl lift her up so that she could watch the baby while they walked, and Talia noticed several people start to approach, each one looking upset. One look from Daryl sent them scattering, and Talia covered his face, shielding him from the sun.

   Negan stopped at the house briefly to check on Casey and the baby, and he tried to maintain some normalcy for the little girl. She questioned him over and over about when she would get to see Gina, and he told her with a smile that she would be home soon. While the baby was sleeping, Talia tried to get him to eat but he refused until Daryl spoke up.

   "Ya need to keep your strength up," he muttered in his gravelly voice. "You'll be doing her and those kids no favors if you're passing out from not eatin'. They're all dependin' on ya."

   Without responding, he ate quickly before thanking them for watching the kids.

   "Has there been any change?" Gina asked hopefully as she walked him to the door.

   "No, she's still the same. She hasn't woken up."

   His voice bore the tone of someone in shock, and she made him promise to send someone to come get her if there was any change at all.

   Once he left, they got Casey to bed before bathing the baby and bringing the bassinet into their room along with diapers, wipes and another sleeper in case of an accident.

   Talia was exhausted, but sleep eluded her as she worried. The baby, Gina and her own future child dominated her thoughts, and it wasn't until she put him down for the second time that she finally fell into a restless sleep.

   The following morning, she was feeding him a bottle when there was a knock on the door. Handing the baby off to Daryl, she opened it to find Heather standing there out of breath.

   "You need to come now," she told Talia, turning and rushing down the steps.

   Her heart pounding wildly, she took off without a second thought.


	57. Chapter 57

 

**Gina**

   The pain was gone. Everything was gone. The baby, Negan, and Casey didn't exist anymore. There was only blackness, stretching out infinitely, like an expanding universe of nothing. She was vaguely aware of it, in some small recess of her brain. But there was nothing she could do, and nowhere she could go. So Gina just floated along in the nothingness for an undetermined amount of time. 

   Until a voice long gone but never forgotten called out to her.

   "Sveglia, figlia cara." _Wake up, darling daughter._

   Her eyes opened immediately, and the first thing she saw was a flowered wall. The same wall that she woke up to every day of her young life. Rich, pink hydrangeas on winding leaves against a pale, blue background. Posters scattered, covering parts of the wall, and a fluffy white chair. One that she'd curled up in time and again as she got lost in a book.

   "Sono qui con te." _I'm here with you._

   It came from behind her, and she rolled over painlessly to a smiling face. There was only one person who spoke so effortlessly, so richly, and he looked the same as she remembered.

   "English, papa."

   The words came automatically. She didn't have to even think them before she spoke them. It was natural, an instinct from years of the same conversations. He spoke both languages fluently, and he always tried to make her and Talia do the same. Gina had always hated when he did it growing up. It had always embarrassed her when he did it in front of her friends. None of them were Italian, and she'd had to put up with endless jokes and teasing. 

   "Is your dad in the mafia?" they'd snicker, and she'd roll her eyes. As if that's all Italians were capable of. Sometimes, just to fuck with them, she'd say yes, and warn them to never tell. It was satisfying to see their eyes widen, to see the uncertainty flicker across their faces.

   Her father was dressed in the same suit they'd buried him in. A black pinstriped suit with a white shirt and a black tie. But he looked younger, like he did when she was a girl and he was her whole world. 

   "Sit up, Gina."

   She did, and he came around the bed, easing down next to her legs. 

   "Am I dead?" she asked as he cocked his head. A small smile played on his lips when she reached out to touch him. She could feel the material of the suit, his strong arm underneath it. He felt real. This didn't feel like a dream, and she reached forward, throwing her arms around his neck. She thought that she would cry, but she didn't feel sad. She only felt peaceful.

   "Am I dead?" she asked again as he placed his hands on her shoulders, easing her back. 

   "You're not dead," he told her as she shook her head in confusion. "But you're not dreaming, either."

   Gina struggled to understand, and his blue eyes were crinkling at the corners as he took her by the hand. "You're in between."

   "I don't know what that means," she said, thoroughly confused. "In between life and death?"

   "Yes."

   Looking around the room, it appeared to be daylight, but there was nothing outside the windows. It was just white, like they were in a fog. 

   "Well, what happens now?"

   "That's up to you, figlia."

   He squeezed her hand as she tried to comprehend what was going on. Dropping his hand, she pulled the covers off of her legs, standing up easily. Looking down, she saw that she was still in a hospital gown, but there was no physical sign of her pregnancy. Gina walked around the room, running her hands over her things. The dresser, the trophies, the carpet, everything felt exactly the same to her, and when she turned around, her father was watching her with amusement.

   "Let me see if I understand. I was put under so that they could get the baby out," she began before sucking in a deep breath. "The baby. Is the baby okay?"

   "Your son is fine," he assured her, still smiling. 

   "Son?"

   "You have a son," he said, nodding his head. 

   Warmth filled her heart as she thought about him. Casey wanted a brother, and she got her wish. But she still wasn't sad about her predicament and she didn't know why.

   "All right," she continued. "So, something happened when they put me under. I didn't die, you say, but I'm not completely alive."

   "Yes."

   "And you're saying I can choose whether to live or to die?"

   "Yes," he agreed, patting the bed next to him. 

   Gina sat back down, and he put his arm around her. 

   "Does everyone get to choose? Did you?"

   "No, not everyone," he said gently. "But I did."

   For some reason, that surprised her. It also astounded her that he chose to leave them when he could have stayed.

   "Why did you go?" Her voice was small, and the pain flitted across her face. 

   "Because I'd done everything I needed to do," he explained to her as she leaned her head against his shoulder. "I raised you girls and sent you out into the world. And look how well you've done. You're both strong, and determined, and you've created new families. And I wanted to be with your mother again. She's my soulmate, and I was ready to be reunited with her."

   "We could have used you, papa," she said forlornly as she looked at the flowers on the wall. "The last few years have been unfathomable."

   "You didn't need me," he reminded her. "You've survived, and I'd say you've even thrived. You've made a difference in the world, and now you both have a legacy."

   He let her absorb his words, and she contemplated her place in the world. While they were sitting together, a small buzzing started, growing louder and louder until it transformed into words that echoed around the room.

  _"Don't let your kids grow up without you. They need you to guide them. To protect them as only a mom can. You've fought for too long for what's yours to slip away like this, so fight."_

   The voice belonged to Talia, and Gina could hear the sadness in her words. 

    _"Please come back to me, Gina. Please. I don't want to be in a world that doesn't have you in it. You don't even have to forgive me. I just need you here. Even if I never hold you or kiss you again, it's enough for me just to be able to see your face. But don't leave these kids, who need you as much as I do."_

   Negan sounded as despaired as she had ever heard him. 

   "Would they be all right if I moved on?" she asked, not really expecting her father to answer. But reply he did.

   "I cannot tell what to do, daughter, but answer me this. You lived without your mother, but would your life have been infinitely better had she been there for you and your sister? Given the chance, would you have wanted her back?"

   "Of course," she whispered without hesitation. She would have given anything to have both of her parents growing up. The hole that losing her mother left in all three of them was immense, and she knew that her father had suffered in silence for many years, missing the other half of his heart, having lost her in such a tragic way.

   The overwhelming sense of tranquility permeated her again, and she wondered why she wasn't more sure about living. The children were her world, but going back meant pain, hurt and the possibility of dying all over again. If she moved on, all of that would disappear. There would be no more heartbreak, no fighting the dead just to survive. 

   "I don't know what to do," she admitted, staring around the room. "Why?"

   "Gina, you know in your heart what the answer is. You've never been one to run away and hide. But there are two choices here. You can take my hand and walk with me to the door and leave the room, or you can lay back down and close your eyes."

   Her stomach started to burn, the first physical sensation that she'd experienced since she opened her eyes. It reminded her of what sent her into the darkness, and she knew the answer. A child, her child that she had never laid eyes on, was waiting on her. Casey, who lost so much in her young life, needed her. And Negan, who time and again shaped the course of her existence, loved her even if he screwed up over and over. 

   Her father leaned in, kissing her on the forehead, bringing tears to her eyes. "Your mother and I are always with you girls. We're always watching over you, figlia."

   "Ti amo, papa."

   "Ti amo anch'io, Gina."

   He stood up, watching serenely as she lay back down on the bed, putting her hands over her stomach while she closed her eyes. One last time, she felt her father touch her head, and a warmth spread from the top of her scalp through the rest of her body. However, the warmth soon turned hot, searing her stomach as she fell back into the darkness, searching for a way to stop the pain. 

   It continued on interminably, and she struggled to open her eyes, but it felt like her eyelids were glued shut. The buzzing returned and Gina could hear garbled words, but they were hard to understand. Since she couldn't see, she tried to move her body, but it seemed like every limb was weighted down with lead. 

   Concentrating on her right arm, she pulled whatever strength remained in her body to that spot, and she managed to lift it a few inches before it flopped back down. But it was enough to get the attention of whoever was in the room with her, and she finally recognized Negan's voice as he spoke loudly next to her, causing her head to throb. 

   "Oh my God, her hand just moved," he told someone, and she felt her arm raise again, this time by someone else's movements. 

   "Gina? Gina, can you hear me?"

   One of her eyelids was opened, and her eyeball rolled around in a circle as she tried to control it. The other eyelid followed and she was plunged into light again, but this time it was painful and she let out a moan. It took a second, but she recognized the face looming over her. Dr. Thomas was shining a light into her face and her head moved instinctively to avoid the burning glare. 

   "It's okay, Gina," he told her soothingly. "Go and get her sister," he ordered someone, and she could hear a door open and close. The stabbing pain in her stomach throbbed and her other had lifted slightly, landing on her side as she whimpered in pain. 

   "It hurts, I know," Dr. Thomas told her as he let her eyes close back up. "I'm going to get you something for the pain soon, but I need to know if you understand what I'm saying. Can you talk?"

   Gina's lips were parched, and she opened them slightly, her tongue feeling like it was three sizes too big for her mouth. 

   "My son," she croaked out. The voice didn't sound like hers at all. It was deep and rumbling, and she repeated it. "My son."

   "How did she know?"

   The question came from Negan, and she could feel his breath on the top of her hand before his lips touched the skin along with rough stubble. 

   "Your son is healthy, Gina," Dr. Thomas reassured her. "He came through everything amazingly well, and he's at home with your sister and your brother-in-law."

   "I'm tired," she mumbled as Dr. Thomas lifted her left arm, his fingers pressing on her wrist, checking her pulse. 

   "You've been through a lot," he agreed. "I'm going to give you some pain medicine, and you can get some rest."

   The next several hours she spent drifting in and out of consciousness, and the pain in her stomach was dulled by the medication that he administered. She could again hear bits and pieces of conversations that occurred around her, mostly from Negan and Talia. Gina attempted to tell her sister about seeing their father, but all that came out of her mouth was a stream of jumbling words, most of them making no sense. 

   When her eyes were able to open of their own accord, her head was turned to the right, and she saw two Negans sleeping next to her arm. With effort, they blended into one, and Gina was able to pull her arm from his grasp, but every muscle shook with the effort. 

   He sat up with a start, blinking several times before he saw that she was awake. There was a limited amount of light in the room, but she wasn't sure if it was evening or dawn.

  "Can you talk?" he asked as his hand rested on the top of her head gently.

   "Yes," she whispered. 

   "Oh, darlin'," he said in a shaky voice, as his eyes closed, and he put his face next to hers. "I'm so sorry."

   "Is the baby here?" she said, her voice slightly stronger. "I need to see him."

   "Talia took him home," he told her, kissing her temple. "They'll be back in an hour or so."

   "Where's Casey?"

   "She's there, too. Everyone will be here soon," he promised. "Are you in pain?"

   In truth, she was, but it was manageable, and she said as much while he continued to stroke her head. 

   "I want to sit up more," she commanded as he nodded his head, leaving her alone to get Dr. Thomas. They returned after a few minutes, and he assessed her before tilting the head of the bed up so that she was able to see around the room. Even though she still had the iv in her arm, he let her take a sip of water to coat her throat, which felt like sandpaper.

   "Thank you," she told him, meaning everything that he'd done for her, and he patted her hand before giving them some more alone time.

   "Darlin', how did you know we had a boy?" he finally asked as she looked at him with tired eyes. 

   "My father told me," she replied as he looked at her nervously. 

   "Your father?"

   Gina nodded her head as one side of her mouth turned up. 

   "I know it sounds nuts, but I went somewhere while I was out, and he was waiting for me."

   The door opened as she was speaking and Talia came in, holding the baby, while Daryl held Casey's hand. 

   "Momma," she said happily as Gina extended her arm towards her. 

   "Hey, bug," she said softly as the little girl approached her carefully. Leaning forward, Casey kissed her on the cheek before going around the bed to sit on Negan's lap. 

  "When are you coming home?" she asked as Gina watched her.

   "Soon," she promised. "I just have to get my strength back."

   Once Casey seemed satisfied, Gina turned her attention to her sister, who was holding a little bundle in her grasp. Very carefully, she placed the baby in her arms, supporting the head so that Gina didn't overwhelm herself. 

   Her son was wide awake and he looked up into her face as Gina's eyes teared up. He had blue eyes, black hair, and tiny dimples just like his father. Tiny pink lips opened and closed as he watched her face. 

   "Ti amo, figlio," she whispered as Talia's hand tightened on her arm.

   "Gina?" 

   She looked up to see Talia's eyes flitting back and forth to Negan. 

   "What?" Gina asked as Talia sat down in the chair, still keeping ahold of her arm.

   "I haven't heard you speak Italian in years," she observed as Gina leaned her head back on the pillow.

   "I haven't even thought about it in a long time," she admitted tiredly before handing the baby over. Her strength was fading, and she knew she'd be falling asleep soon. Daryl took the baby, urging Casey to follow him as he left Talia and Negan alone with her. 

   "She said her father told her the baby was a boy," Negan piped up, sounding anxious as Talia looked over her head at him. 

   "What's he talking about?"

   Gina's eyes closed and she reached for each of their hands. 

   "I'll tell you later."


	58. Chapter 58

  
   It was a slow journey back to her house, and Gina held her stomach as she walked with halting steps to the walkway. Dr. Thomas had cleared her to finally go home, and Negan had arrived early to escort her.

   Talia and Daryl had decided to stay with them for a few weeks, and they were home with Casey and the baby, who still didn't have a name. Given everything that she'd been through, Gina asked Negan to wait until she was released to discuss what to name him. He'd agreed, and she suspected he'd let her do whatever she wanted if it meant that their issues were over.

   They still hadn't spoken about what transpired before the birth, and Gina knew that they would have to address it head on at some point. In the grand scheme of things, it wasn't a big deal, but she thought that they should clear the air, especially since he wanted to resume their normal lives.

   When they reached the steps, Negan held her arm as she climbed slowly to the top. Before her surgery, she never would have guessed how many muscles worked in tandem with her abdominal muscles. Even wiggling her feet seemed to cause a jolt of pain where her incision was. It had only been a few days, but she didn't think it would still be so tender.

   Sucking in her breath through her teeth, she stopped when they reached the door, taking a quick break before they entered the house. Casey was spending the afternoon at Tina's, and Daryl was walking around with the baby, rocking him gently from side to side as they entered.

   "Ya finally made it," he growled as she took small steps into the foyer.

   "Let me split your stomach open and see how fast you can go," she said but wasn't with any anger. Daryl smirked at her as he made his way over to where they were standing.

   He held up the baby, who was sleeping, and she started towards the living room, easing herself down onto the couch with Negan's help. Once she was situated, Daryl placed the baby in her arms, and she brought him up to her lips, kissing him softly as he let out a little sigh.

   While she was holding him, Negan disappeared into the kitchen, returning with a warm bottle. Gina was still on painkillers, so they agreed to bottle feed him until she could wean herself off of them. Her milk had come in, and she was pumping and dumping to keep her supply up. After tickling his cheek, she placed the bottle in his mouth, and Daryl went upstairs to check on Talia.

   Another surprise she'd awoken to was the news that Talia was pregnant, and it was one of the reasons that she and Daryl were sticking around. They still didn't have a doctor in Alexandria, and Talia liked Dr. Thomas. Daryl had gone back to their townhouse, rounding up their clothes and some of their things. The guest room was their temporary home, and Negan was working on clearing out Jerika's house for them to move into. Gina was ecstatic, hoping it would become permanent. They were both expanding their families, and she wanted to have her sister nearby.

   Negan took the baby, burping him before handing him back, and she held him for a while, just studying his tiny face. It was still too soon to know what he would look like, but he did have the tiny dimples, along with a head full of black hair. Shifting in her arms, he let out a little squeak in his sleep, and she held him tighter, resting her lips on the top of his head.

   Once he was fully out, she handed him off, and Negan took him upstairs while she pulled herself to her feet, wincing in pain. The steps took her a long time, and she was just coming up to the top when Negan appeared.

   "Please don't do that," he asked, coming to take her hand to assist her.

   "I want to get a shower," Gina told him as they walked down the hallway. "Do you know how long it's been?"

   "It hasn't really been my top concern, quite frankly."

   "That's because you're clean," she replied as they reached the bedroom door. He went into the bathroom, and she could hear the shower starting up while she pulled her shirt off, grunting with the effort.

   Her stomach was still swollen, and she waited for him to return to help her pull her pants off. When he did, she saw him eyeballing her incision, which she couldn't see. "How bad is it?" she asked as he looked back up at her.

   "Not bad."

   She could tell he was lying, but she didn't press the issue, instead pulling off her bra and throwing it in the hamper. It wasn't until she was directly in front of the shower when she realized that she'd have to swing her leg over to get in. Sucking in a deep breath, she lifted it, grabbing just under her knee to help guide it in. Strong hands heaved her over, and she looked back to see Negan watching her.

   "I'll be fine," she told him, closing the curtain. She appreciated his help, but she wanted just a few minutes of privacy so that she could try to feel human again. Someone had been hovering over her ever since she opened her eyes that day, and she'd had no time to even think about everything that she'd been through.

   She'd told Negan and Talia about what happened while she was unconscious, but neither of them seemed to believe her. Dr. Thomas thought that she'd been able to hear them talking around her, and that it had seeped into her brain. But she knew what she'd experienced, though she didn't tell them how she'd struggled with what to do.

   Shaking away the morbid thoughts, she washed her hair twice before cleaning the rest of her body, shutting the water off only after it started to get lukewarm. Opening the shower curtain, she pulled a towel off of the rack, drying herself off before starting the awkward process of getting out of the tub. Once she was on solid ground, she brushed her teeth before going back into the bedroom, where a nightgown was laying on the bed.

   Dressing herself as quickly as she could, Gina brushed her hair before sitting down on the bed and rolling herself over to face Negan's side. She was almost asleep when she heard the door opening, and the bed jostled when he climbed in, facing her.

   "Is the baby still sleeping?" she asked as he nodded his head, yawning loudly.

   "Are you ready to talk about names?" Negan asked, moving his head so that they were eye to eye. "He's going to think his name is 'the baby'."

   "I wouldn't mind naming him after my father," she said, watching his reaction.

   "Which was?" he questioned, his voice even as his eyebrows rose.

   "Luigi," she lied, trying to see how much he was willing to bend just to please her.

   "Luigi," he repeated, trying not to grimace. Gina could see his shoulders tightening. "That's a good..." He trailed off as she started to smile.

   "I'm fucking with you," she told him as he visibly relaxed. "His name was Michael."

   "Michael is a damn fine name," he said, grinning as she adjusted her pillow.

   "What was your father's name?" she wondered, imagining some off the wall choice, seeing as his name was so unique.

   "Thomas."

   "So, does Michael Thomas work for you?"

   Negan closed his eyes briefly before focusing back on her. "Whatever you want, darlin'."

   He leaned in to kiss her, but she moved her face back slightly. "I thought that you'd be fine with never touching me or kissing me again, as long as I came back."

   Negan looked astonished as he stared at her, but she didn't smile this time. Gina knew that he hadn't expected that sort of response from her, and he struggled to hear this come out of seemingly nowhere, no matter what she told him about her experience.

   "I told you I heard things while I was out of commission."

   She reached out with her left hand, twining her fingers in his left hand while he swallowed hard. It was the only part of their bodies that were touching, and she closed her eyes, unwilling to be distracted.

   "I don't know or care if you believe me anymore, because I'm sure of the truth. What I do want to say is that it felt like a difficult choice to come back to myself. The peace and security I felt was unlike anything I've ever experienced, and I genuinely struggled with what to do. It wasn't until I thought about Michael and Casey that I was reminded what it was like to grow up without my mother.I didn't want them to have that hole in their lives." Gina could feel warm tears at the corner of her eyes, but she kept going.

   "The only other tether in my life is you. And you've hurt me more times than I ever imagined, whether it was intentional or not."

   The bed shifted slightly, but she kept talking.

   "Please just let me say my piece," she asked, and the mattress grew still.

   "My father told me I had a choice, and when I asked him if everyone did, he said no. But he told me that he did, and he chose to leave. When I asked him why, he said that he'd done his job. He'd raised us girls, sent us out into the world, and that he was ready to be with my mother because she was his soulmate and he'd been missing her for so long."

   Her throat was hurting from trying to keep her emotions in check, but she soldiered on. "That's when I thought about you, and what would happen if you lost another wife."

   When she opened her eyes, Negan was watching her with glazed eyes.

   "You had a life before I came along, but I'd like to think that we were meant to meet. And I also believe that I've changed your life as much as you've done mine. So the thought of leaving you alone in this shitty piece of hell on earth was one of the other reasons I fought my way back. I know how unbearable it would be for me if the situation was reversed, no matter what sort of crap you've put me through at one time or another. But I'm begging you," she said, pulling her hand from his and wiping her eyes, "please don't hurt me anymore, not when you can help it."

   Gina lay there quietly, letting him absorb everything she said, and he didn't talk either. He just studied her, his eyes moving from her face down to her chest and back again.

   "I'm not trying to sound like a martyr, and I know I've screwed up and hurt you, too. And I'm sorry for any pain I may have caused you in the past. I hope that we can just work on loving each other, and keeping these kids safe and happy."

   He still didn't say anything, so she started babbling to fill the silence.

   "So that's all I wanted to say, really. I'm not sure how you're feeling since you're not talking-"

   Negan placed his finger to her lips, stopping her mid-sentence.

   "If you'll kindly shut the fuck up, I'll respond."

   Gina's nostrils flared out slightly, but she kept her mouth closed. He removed his hand, and she turned her head towards the pillow, looking at his chest instead of his eyes.

   "When I saw you laying on that table, split open with the doctor's hands inside you, I went to a bad, bad place. I was right back in Lucille's room, watching the life leave her face. You looked like you were already gone, and I don't remember your sister closing the door and dragging me away. I do recall being told that you had to be brought back, and I thought that this was it. You had finally had enough and you were really leaving me. Not just me, but the whole fucking thing."

   She couldn't look up. It was enough to hear the pain in his voice as he drew her a picture of what was happening on the other side of her experience.

   "If it wasn't for the kids, I might have just slipped right back into a complete utter lack of humanity, just like I did at the beginning. The worst fucking part was the way we left things. It would've been bad enough to know that you were gone, but for it to be after I screwed up again, I don't know if this place would still be standing."

   It was a scary and sobering thought, since she'd witnessed the darkest part of him and his temper before. Negan was a man full of passion and power, not all of it good, but not all of it bad, either.

   "But I sat there, talking to you after your sister busted my balls for not knowing what to say to you at first," he continued, smirking slightly as she finally looked up at him. "You two are a real fucking pair. The worst moment of our relationship, and she's calling my ass out."

   Gina smiled back as he resumed his story. "I wasn't sure what to say to you, and I damned sure didn't think you'd hear any of it. But I meant every idiotic word I said to you. You being happy makes me happy, and if it meant that I had to leave this house and leave you with the peace that you so richly fucking deserve, I would."

   "I don't want you to leave," she whispered as he took a long, deep breath. "I want you to love me, treat me like a partner, and just try your best. That's all I've ever wanted."

   Tired of talking, she put her hand around the back of his neck, pulling his head to hers, and they kissed for the first time since she kicked him out. It wasn't passionate, it was tender and loving, and she felt like she turned yet another corner with her feelings for him. She didn't realize how much she needed him, and missed his touch until that moment, but it didn't last long.

   He broke apart from her, pushing her back carefully before standing up. Rubbing her lips together, she watched him leave the room, returning a few moments later with the baby, a glass of water, and her pain pills. Once she'd taken them, Negan placed the baby on the bed between them, and Gina watched him until her eyes closed.

   

   The next several days passed by in a blur. Between taking care of Michael, recovering from the birth, and getting Daryl and Talia settled in Jerika's old house, they barely had time to do anything else. Devin had continued to run her job as well as his own, and he communicated with her over the radio.

   Negan only left for a few hours a day to supervise the expansion, and Daryl joined him, spending most of the daylight out on the other peninsulas. They'd gone from mortal enemies to a fragile camaraderie, communicating frequently throughout the day. It was a testament to Daryl's capacity to forgive, and Negan said as much to her one evening after they put Michael and Casey to bed.

   "He's a sharp guy," Negan mused as he pulled the covers back on the bed. "It's one of the reasons I took him," he admitted as Gina shook her head.

   "Well, you catch more flies with honey, I guess," she replied. Her incision was healing, and her stomach was starting to shrink, making her look more out of shape than pregnant. "Has he said anything about he and Talia staying here permanently?"

   "No, but he's not exactly in a rush to leave, I don't think."

   Talia had been having some major morning sickness, and Dr. Thomas was keeping a close eye on her. She'd spend most of the day throwing up, unable to keep much down, and the doctor had her on a healthy dose of supplements, along with some iv hydration. Hopefully, she would feel better soon. She was only a few months along, and Gina sympathized completely.

   Casey, on the other hand, was handling the changes like a trooper. Other than a few complaints when Michael cried in the middle of the night, she was completely enamored of the little boy, holding him whenever possible, and showering him with kisses. Gina tried to spend time alone with her often, and Negan would take her to work with him so that she didn't feel marginalized or forgotten. So far, everything was going well.

   Once they got into bed, she rested her head on his chest, listening to his steady heartbeat. Gina was still weeks away from being cleared to have sex, but she let her hand wander down his chest, dipping under the covers. His heart started to beat faster as she reached into his pajamas, and she smiled in the dark.

   Before she could get very far, the radio crackled to life, and it was Devin. Rolling back over, she picked it up off of the nightstand while Negan flipped on the light.

   "It's Gina," she said, lifting her thumb off the button.

   "I'm sorry," Devin apologized, "but we have a situation out here. Rick Grimes is here with a group of people and he says they've been attacked."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have to admit, I've fallen in love with these characters, and I had planned on wrapping up the story, but I feel like it could go on for a while, so if you're still enjoying this journey and you want me to continue, please let me know!


	59. Chapter 59

  
  
   Gina put Michael back in his crib, setting him down gently on his back. Kicking his legs out slightly, she waited until he stilled before sneaking out, shutting the door noiselessly before tiptoeing back to her room.

   Negan still hadn't returned from Alexandria, and she peeked out through the window, watching for any signs of the trucks. The old sense of nervousness and unease had risen from the depths of her mind since Rick had shown up at their gates, battered and broken.

   When Devin had notified them that the Alexandrians were attacked, Gina didn't know what to think. Things had been quiet and peaceful since Negan had been removed from power at the Sanctuary, and she knew of no other threats. The other communities that they dealt with were all peaceful, and Negan had left immediately, bringing Rick to their house before going to get Daryl and Talia.

   She had been waiting at the door, and the scattering of people that followed him looked like refugees from a war. Carl was carrying a sleeping Judith in his arms, and Rick was covered in blood, moving in slow motion. Gina had to physically lead him to the dining room, where he stood, dazed and not talking. While they waited for Negan to return, she pointed Carl up the steps, telling him where the guest room was, and he left, limping noticeably.

   Aaron and Tara sat down on either side of Rick, both battered and bruised, with ripped clothes and filthy hair. Gina went into the kitchen, returning with warm, wet towels, handing them out as they sat unmoving.

   The door opened, and Daryl came flying in, stopping short when he saw the condition of his friends. Gina sat down, and Negan took the chair next to her while Talia came in, looking faintly green. She took the chair on the other side of Gina, while Daryl came to stand behind Rick.

   "Where's Michonne?" Gina asked softly as Tara's face crumpled.

   "She didn't make it," Tara managed to spit out before dropping her head into her hands.

   "Can someone tell us what happened?" Negan asked after a moment of shocked silence. Rick didn't move or speak, he just stared blankly at the wall. He barely even blinked, and Aaron finally started to talk.

   "Someone started throwing grenades over the wall, just before dawn," he said, his face still registering disbelief over the events that had occurred. "Grenades and smoke bombs. It woke everyone up, and I remember rushing outside. The guards along the wall were dead, just laying on the ground. People were rushing everywhere, and two large trucks drove through the gates. When they got out, they were covered from head to toe in fatigues and body armor. Their heads were even covered, and they just started firing, taking out any woman that they passed."

   Gina sucked in a breath, imagining the carnage. Aaron's head began to shake from side to side as he relived the experience, and his eyes began to lose focus, staring over her head as he continued.

   "They grabbed a few men, and Eugene was one of them. I tried to run for the armory, but they'd already gotten there, and one of the intruders shot at me, but I don't think they were trying to kill me. They just wanted to stop me. So I took off for the back of the property, and I found Tara hiding behind one of the houses. We managed to get the sewer grate open, and I sent her down while I tried to find anyone else I could."

   Negan's body stiffened as Gina worked to keep her mouth from dropping open. That was how she and Negan escaped the night she broke him out of his cell.

   "I was able to get a few more people, and I found Rick and Carl, shielding Judith, but Michonne-"

   Aaron's voice faded away, and he sat back, all of his energy gone. Talia had covered her mouth with her hand, and she looked like she was going to be sick. Rick still hadn't moved, so Gina got up, going upstairs to grab the radio that was sitting by the bed. Carrying it into the bathroom, she called Dr. Thomas, who answered almost immediately.

   Briefing him quickly, he said he'd be right over, so she went down the hall to the guest room, opening the door a crack to check on Carl and Judith. Both were laying on the bed, and Carl's shoulders were shaking as he cried quietly next to his sister. Her heart broke for him as she shut the door. She checked on Casey and Michael before walking back down the steps.

   By the time she brought back in glasses of water for everyone, Dr. Thomas was knocking on the door. He looked tired, and she directed him towards the living room, sending Tara and Aaron in to get looked over.

   Daryl took Aaron's seat, and he placed his hand gingerly on Rick's shoulder. He didn't acknowledge the gesture, and Gina worried that he was in shock. Her heart was aching for him, and she could only imagine what he was going through. To be sleeping one minute and then looking over the body of the woman you loved the next had to have been incomprehensible. She knew how much they loved each other, and Gina couldn't wrap her head around a bunch of strangers coming into Alexandria and gunning down the women.

   Talia excused herself, rushing to the bathroom, and Gina reached under the table, grabbing Negan's hand to calm herself. He squeezed her fingers gently, and she stole a look at him as Daryl tried to get Rick to talk. He appeared as disturbed as she did, and she wondered if he was thinking about the past. He too had invaded other communities, taking people out, but not in such a destructive and wanton way. But in the recesses of her mind, she wondered if he had any theories about what these strangers were after.

   "She's gone."

   It was quiet. It was sorrowful. And it was heartbreaking. Rick was a man without hope, and without his partner. A prospect that he may not recover from. Gina knew that he'd lost his wife during Judith's birth, and Daryl had mentioned that Rick gone out of his mind for a while. Another thing he and Negan had in common, and it took a long time for him to get over it, however much one could.

   But Michonne was his equal, and the perfect counterbalance to Rick's fiery passion. She'd been methodical when he was rash. She was calm when he was wound up, and she'd been the one who could reach him when no one else could.

   "I'm so sorry, man," Daryl said, pulling Rick into a side hug. Feeling like she was intruding on a personal moment, she got up from her chair, walking into the kitchen and staring out the window into the night. The moon was up, and it reflected on the water's surface, bouncing up and down on the waves.

   Negan came up behind her, and she reached back for his hands, pulling them around her waist as his chest bumped up against her back.

   "This is fucking unreal," he muttered as she leaned her head back against him.

   "I don't know what to think or to say," Gina said as he rested his cheek against her temple. "I can't even fathom what they're going through."

   "We're probably not going to get much more out of them tonight," he observed. She didn't respond, and they stood together for a few more minutes until they heard Dr. Thomas call Rick into the living room. When they walked back in, Daryl and Rick were gone, and Tara and Aaron had returned, along with Talia. With a quick glance to Gina, Talia told them to follow her, and she left to take them to Jerika's house so that they could get some rest.

   Negan left to go check in with Devin after expressing concerns with their security, and they both agreed that all patrols would have to be doubled from now on. Gina waited in the dining room, and Dr. Thomas returned, sitting down next to her.

   "He's in shock, and I gave him a sedative so he should lay down as soon as possible. I'll want to see all of them in the morning for a follow-up."

   "Thank you for coming so quickly."

   "It's what I'm here for," he told her, getting up and grabbing his bag. "I'm not sure of what happened, but I have to say I'm concerned."

   "We all are," she agreed, walking him to the door.

   Rick was still on the couch, and Daryl was hovering over him, unsure of what to do. Gina approached him carefully so as not to startle him, and she leaned down a few feet away from him.

   "Rick, why don't you come with me up to the guest room," she urged in a soothing voice. "Judith and Carl are up there, and you should really get some rest."

   He didn't respond, causing Gina to glance up at Daryl, who touched him gently on the shoulder.

   "Come on, brother," he told him, causing Rick to jump, swinging Daryl's arm off of him.

   "I need to go back," he replied, standing up and swaying lightly. "I have to bury her. I can't just leave her there." His voice cracked, and he went down to his knees with a bang.

   "We're gonna go back," Daryl promised. "We will, but it's dark out now, and it's not safe. I swear, we'll go back in the morning, and do whatever needs to be done."

   "Please, Rick, just come up with me and be with your kids," Gina begged, reaching out her hand. It was hard to keep her voice from breaking, but her hand was steady. He stared at it for a moment before taking it loosely, and Daryl helped him to his feet. She led him slowly up the steps and down the hall, opening the door. In the light of the hallway, she could see Carl curled up on the far end of the bed, with Judith laying on her side in the middle.

   "If you need anything, just come to our room, it's right over there," she whispered, pointing to her door. Nodding once, he limped towards the bed, and she shut the door softly before checking on her own kids. They were sound asleep, so she made her way back down, where Daryl was sitting on the couch in the same spot that Rick just vacated.  
He looked up when she sat down beside him, and his eyes were dry, but they had a red tint to them.

   "I shoulda been there," he rasped out, dropping his head into his hands. Gina rubbed his back, struggling to find the right words to comfort him.

   "I'm so sorry, Daryl," she replied, her hands moving in circles around his shoulders. "I can't imagine how you're feeling, but if you were there, you could very well be dead or gone, too. The only thing we can do now is try to support who's here, and figure out what the hell happened and who these people are."

   The house was quiet except for Daryl's raspy breaths and the sound of her hand moving across the material of her shirt. He sat hunched over for several minutes before finally climbing to his feet, his shoulders bent.

   "I'll be back first thing in the morning, but call me if ya need anything," he said before walking to the door. Gina followed behind him, watching him disappear into the darkness. Closing the door, she went back to check on Michael, who was stirring in his crib, his lips smacking together. She carried him downstairs so that he didn't wake anyone up, and she turned off the lights except for one in the kitchen, settling with him on the couch.

   He fed for a long time, and she had to wake him twice to continue. She was just fixing her shirt and putting him on her shoulder to burp him when Negan finally returned.

   "Hey," she said in a low voice, causing him to jump. He doubled back, sitting down next to her as she patted the baby's back. With one finger, he traced the top of Michael's head in a circle.

   "Did you talk to everyone on the wall?"

   "Yeah," he told her. "They're on alert, but I didn't go into all the gory details. Did everyone get settled?"

   Gina told him what Dr. Thomas said, and that Rick, Carl, and Judith were in the guest room.

   "He wants to go back to Alexandria tomorrow to bury Michonne," she whispered, lowering the baby into the crook of her arm.

   "I'm going to go with them."

   "Why?"

   "Because I want to know what we're dealing with. I saw Aaron outside and he said they'd gone to the Hilltop first, but it was totally destroyed, too."

   "Oh god," she gasped. "Did anyone get out?"

   "About half the people made it out, but he said they lost Sasha. She was one of theirs."

   "Well, where are they?"

   "He said the survivors are at the Kingdom. I guess Carl is the one that decided the Alexandrians should come here. He thought Rick would need to be with Daryl."

   "He's a smart kid. He's been through so much," she murmured, thinking about Casey. She'd have to be up early to explain to her somehow about all of the visitors in the house. Rick would probably go stay at Daryl and Talia's tomorrow, but that was not for sure.

   Negan helped her to her feet, and she handed him the baby. They walked upstairs together, and she stopped him before they got to Michael's room, motioning for him to just put him in the bassinet in their room. Once he was out, Gina turned off the bathroom light, crawling into bed and turning on her side to face the baby. Negan pulled her back slightly, and he draped his arm over her waist as he kissed the back of her head.

   As soon as the sky began to lighten, she snuck out of the bed. She'd fed Michael about an hour before, so she went down to the kitchen, starting a pot of coffee and putting together something for all of the kids to eat. Unsure of when they'd be up, she kept the oatmeal warming on the stove, putting out bowls and silverware on the table along with coffee and cups.

   Remembering that there were totes full of clothes in the basement, she went down carrying up several piles of clothes. Everyone came with only the things they were wearing, so she put everything on the steps.

   Carl was the first one to emerge, and he had Judith in his arms when he came down the steps. She had her head on his shoulder, looking around sleepily.

   "Sit down, sweetheart," she told him, gesturing to the nearest chair. He sat down, moving his sister onto his lap, and she reached out for some food, her hands opening and closing. Gina scooped her some breakfast, placing it in front of her, and she held the spoon clumsily, getting more on her face than in her mouth.

   A second bowl followed, and Carl ate almost methodically, spoon to mouth and back again. There was no enjoyment there, just habit, and Gina wanted to tell him how sorry she was about Michonne, but the thought of mentioning her name was too much. She didn't want him to have to feel obligated to talk about it. So they sat in silence, except for the sounds of Judith babbling.

   Negan was the next one to come down, carrying Michael in his arms, his hair sticking up every which way. Carl nodded at him tersely before focusing back on his bowl. He sat down next to her, and she poured him a cup of coffee before taking the baby, who was now wide eyed.

   "Baby," Judith said, pointing a pudgy finger in their direction.

   "This is Michael," Gina said, tilting him so that she could see his face.

   "Baby," she repeated, fidgeting in Carl's arms. He set her down, and she toddled over, trying to climb up in Gina's lap. Balancing him on one side, she picked up the little girl, who was leaning in to watch him.

   "Carl, I put some spare clothes on the steps. Why don't you grab whatever fits and go up and get cleaned up? There are towels in the guest bath and I think there are some new toothbrushes in the medicine cabinet. We'll watch Judith for you," she told him.

   "I'm good," he said, pushing the bowl away towards the middle of the table. His clothes were filthy, and he had dirt and blood smeared on his arms and neck.

   "You need to get a shower, kid. I know you probably feel like hell right now, and cleaning up will help a little. We'll keep an eye on your sister." Negan took a sip of coffee, eyeing Carl until he finally stood up, and they heard slow footsteps on the stairs and down the hallway.

   "Did you get any sleep, love?" Gina asked, reaching up to smooth down his hair as Judith climbed down.

   "About as much as you did."

   "I really wish you'd stay here today," she admitted, continuing to run her hands through his hair.

   "I need to go," he insisted. "Two communities were damn near wiped out, and people were taken. I'm going to make sure that it doesn't happen here. And to do that, I need to know what exactly went on."

   "But we don't even know if it's safe," she tried to argue, watching the little girl as she ran around the table in a circle.

   "Gina, I get what you're saying, but this isn't a negotiation." His voice was sharp and his eyes were cold. "I'm going."

   Stung, she got out of the chair without a word, taking the baby into the living room, and Judith followed behind her. Leaning down, she put one of Casey's DVDs in, and the little girl sat down on the ground, watching as the screen came to life. After feeding Michael and putting him in the little vibrating chair, she sat with one hand on the chair and the other rubbing her chin as she zoned out. She was tired and nervous, and it seemed like a bad idea to return to Alexandria so soon.

   The people that attacked could still be there, still watching to take care of whoever escaped. Worse, they could be waiting to follow them back to Reedville. When Negan came into the living room, she left to go check on Casey, refusing to look at him as she passed by. Casey was just coming out of her room, and Gina took her by the hand, explaining to her that they had guests.

   They were sitting together at the table when Carl returned, with Rick right behind him. Thankfully, he had also showered, though that was the only improvement in his appearance. Judith came running in, and he picked her up, holding her close as he took a deep breath. She could see the pain in his face, and it damn near shattered her heart.

   Negan carried the baby in, setting the seat on the table before jogging upstairs to get changed. While he was gone, she set a heaping bowl of oatmeal in front of Rick, insisting that he eat. He tried to decline, but she was firm, and he ended up consuming it all as Judith pulled at his hair.

   Daryl and Talia came in without knocking, and Talia looked exhausted. Daryl didn't look any better, and the two of them sat down. Daryl poured himself a small cup of coffee, downing it quickly as Negan rejoined them, securing a weapons belt around his waist. As if on cue, the three men stood up, and Talia took Judith into her arms.

   Kissing her, Michael and Casey, Negan walked out without another word, and he strode ahead of the other two men, taking the lead.

   The day dragged on, and Carl ended up wandering around the town for most of the afternoon. By the time Gina had put Michael to bed, she was practically shaking with tension. Casey was insistent that she wanted to wait up for Negan, but Gina refused.

   "I don't know what time he'll be home," she said, trying not to snap at her. "I'm really tired, bug. We need to get to sleep, and I promise that daddy will come in and kiss you goodnight, even if it's really late."

   Petulantly, she stomped off to her room, closing the door in Gina's face, though she didn't slam it. Talia had taken Judith to her house for the night, so it was just her and the kids. The night dragged on, and when she couldn't keep her eyes open any longer, Gina fell asleep on his side of the bed. By morning, he still wasn't back, and her stomach churned, a feeling of deja vu washing over her.

    _This was bad. This was very, very bad._


	60. Chapter 60

  
   Once she was sure the sling around her was secure, Gina slipped Michael into it before taking Casey by the hand and heading out the door towards Tina's house. It was early, and she wanted to drop her off for the day so that she could meet with Devin, Trevor, and Clinton. Word had spread around town about the attacks, and they needed to come up with a game plan to make sure they were ready for anything.

   Negan still hadn't returned, and they were well out of radio range. It made her nervous, but she knew he'd want her to soldier on, so she was determined to make sure that Casey was unaware of what was going on. When she'd woken up, she came into the bedroom, hopping up and down, wanting to know where he was, so she said he'd taken an overnight trip and would be back soon. Casey seemed to accept it rather easily and had gone back to get ready.

   After feeding both kids a quick breakfast, she'd hustled them out the door. While they walked down the street, several people had attempted to approach her to find out what was going on, but she ushered them away with a promise to hold a town meeting later in the day. Casey had asked her if something happened, and she just told her that there was a problem with the other communities but there was nothing to worry about.

  By the time they reached Tina's house, the baby was asleep, and she knocked lightly. The door opened after a minute, and Tina waved them in. Casey took off to find Rebecca while Gina took a seat at the kitchen table.

   "Do you mind keeping her for the day?" Gina asked, rocking the baby slightly as Tina sat down across from her.

   "Of course not," Tina told her. "You never have to ask."

   "I appreciate it."

   "Devin told me what happened," she said, rubbing her arms briskly. She seemed quite disturbed by what happened, of course. "It's just so terrifying. Have they gotten back yet?"

   "No. So we need to be prepared, just in case."

   "Oh, honey," Tina told her, resting her hand on Gina's. "I'm sure they'll be all right."

   She was trying to be supportive, but it wasn't helping. Of course, all Gina wanted was Negan back home, but he'd made the decision without her, and she was at the mercy of time. There was no way of knowing where they were and what was happening, and sitting home worrying about it wasn't going to get her anywhere. Thanks to his pigheadedness, she was a council member, and she had a say in what happened with the community, and she was going to make sure he remembered that when he got back. If he came back.

   Closing her eyes, she cleared her head and gave Tina a smile.

   "You're right. We have to stay positive. Listen, I don't mean to cut you short, but I really want to get to the office to meet with everyone. Has Devin left yet?"

   "He's just getting ready. I'm sure he'll be along shortly," Tina told her as she stood up. She came over to peek at the baby, pulling the wrap down to see his face. "Oh, he's just so handsome," she murmured. "He looks like Negan."

   "He does," she agreed, looking down. Michael had a tiny smile on his face, and she wondered what he was dreaming about. He smiled a lot in his sleep, and it fascinated her. They were lucky that he was such a calm little thing. Squeezing him a little tighter, she waited until Tina had her fill of baby love before giving her a quick hug. "I'll be by later to get Casey, or you can drop her off at the house."

   "She can stay for dinner, and I'll bring her by after."

   "You're the best."

   Ten minutes later, she was seated behind her desk with a handful of maps spread out. Michael was laying in the bassinet in the corner with his diaper back next to him, and the mobile turning softly, playing a tinkling version of Twinkle Twinkle, Little Star. Studying the area around the town, she tried to think like Negan would. Where they should be keeping an eye on, escape routes, and by the time the men joined her, she was ready.

   She told them briefly about the Hilltop, and the few details she knew about the attackers. Devin had been at the wall when Negan talked to them immediately after Rick and company had arrived, but Clinton had been out on a run and Trevor was still out on the water. But everyone was back, and they were resigned to the fresh problems.

   Leaning over the desk, she pointed out several spots on the map outside the walls. "Here, here, and here," she said, tapping the spots on the paper. "We should have checkpoints at all of these spots. They're all a half a mile out, giving us some notice if we see anything suspicious. We can retrofit these buildings with weapons, and thanks to Eugene's hard work, we have a ton of ammunition and guns stockpiled."

   Clinton chimed in, dragging his finger along one of the points. "There's access to the roof on the old plant right here. It's high enough up to give us a full view of the area for miles around. We should station a group up there full-time for the time being."

   "Well, what happens if they manage to get to the walls?" Devin seemed unsure about their plans, and Gina sat back down in the chair, pulling out the most recent ledger.

   "Trevor, how hard would it be to have a few boats standing by in case we need to leave in a hurry?"

   Leaning back in his chair, he ran his fingers along his jawbone, stroking the stubble that dotted his face. "None of our ships are going to break any speed records, but we have a few that can be kept along the outer corner of the marina. If we keep them ready to go, we can get people loaded and head out of the inlet in minutes."

   "Okay," Gina said, reading through the ledgers. "I'll have Jared in the warehouse pull some non-perishables that we can do without, and you can direct him to which boats you want to use."

   They continued to brainstorm for the next several hours, taking breaks only when she had to attend to Michael, and by the time they broke for the day, Gina felt a renewed confidence in the town and their ability to handle anything. Clinton and Trevor were going to spread the word to the residents to meet at the warehouse at sunset, and she took Michael home to get ready.

   Talia was sitting on her porch with Judith in her lap when she approached, following her into the house. She looked worn down and worried, and she had large bags under her eyes.

   "Can you watch all of the kids after dinner?" Gina asked her as Talia set Judith on the ground. "We're having a town meeting to update them on what's going on and all of our contingency plans."

   Talia nodded, and Gina walked back towards her, placing her hands on her shoulders. "I know you're worried and you're tired. I promise I'll be back as soon as I can."

   "Where are they, Gigi? Why haven't they come back yet?"

   Squeezing gently, Gina tried to calm her heart. She was just as worried, but it wouldn't do anyone any good to fall apart right now. If Talia needed her strength, she'd give it to her.

   "Daryl and Rick are smart. They're not going to walk into this blind. We just have trust that they know what they're doing. And we have to be strong. You and I are going to get through this together, I promise."

   She could see Talia try to physically pull herself together, and when Gina was sure that she had control of her emotions, she dropped her hands and went into the kitchen to fix a quick dinner. Though she had no appetite, Gina choked down the pasta before feeding Michael one last time.

  Casey came barreling in as she was getting ready to leave, and she asked if Negan was back yet.

   "No, bug, he's not back yet, but he will be soon, I'm sure of it."

   She could only hope that she wasn't lying to their daughter, and Casey went into the living room to play with the kids, promising that she'd help Talia keep an eye on them.

   Tina was waiting outside for her, and they walked together to the warehouse. Everyone that wasn't on guard duty was there, and they were clustered in groups, chatting quietly. Someone had constructed the stage again, and she joined Trevor, Devin, and Clinton, who were already standing together above the crowd. When they saw that she had arrived, the men and women took their seats, and a hush fell over the group.

   "Thank you all for coming," Clinton began as they turned their attention to him. "As you know, we received some visitors a couple days ago, and it wasn't under good circumstances." He patrolled the edge of the stage, looking out at the faces of people who were watching him with varying degrees of seriousness. "The communities of Alexandria and the Hilltop were both attacked, and they suffered significant losses."

   Gina studied the crowd as he continued to speak, and when he was done, he gestured to her to come to the front of the stage. Clasping her hands in front of her, she made her way to the center. "I know this is a lot to take in right now, but I want to assure you that we're taking what happened seriously. We're going to be increasing the number of people on watch and extending our field of safety. And Trevor is going to prepare a few boats just as a last resort."

   She could see several people looking back and forth between each other, and she knew that they were worried. "It's also the decision of the council that no one will be leaving the walls without clearing it with us. And that goes from the top down."

   When she was done talking, Gina gave the floor to Devin who went into more detail about the security, before Clinton closed it out, recommending that anyone who had any questions stay behind and meet with them one on one. The meeting broke up shortly thereafter, and they spend about another hour fielding questions and reassuring nervous residents, especially the older men and women.

   Mentally and physically exhausted, she dragged her tired body back towards the house. The lights were on, and when she opened the door, Casey came running at her, hugging her tightly. It stung her still healing stomach, but under the circumstances, she didn't say anything. Carl was sitting in the living room with Talia, and Judith was asleep up in the guest room.

   "How's my boy doing?" she asked, sitting down with a groan in the chair.

   "I just gave him a bottle and put him down," Talia told her as Casey sat down next to Carl, who was leaning against the arm of the sofa, resting his head on his fist.

   "Did you eat, Carl?"

   He didn't answer, but he did nod his head, and Gina didn't press him. She hadn't heard him speak more than a few words since he arrived. It's possible that Talia had gotten more out of him, and she thanked them both for their help. Carl got up without a word and went up to get his sister. He and Talia left, and Gina brought Casey to her room, telling her to get into her pajamas while she went in to make sure the baby was okay.

   Sound asleep, she bent over, kissing him softly on the forehead before going to tuck Casey in. She was holding a book on the bed, and Gina sat down next to her, listening as Casey read it out loud to her, sounding out the words she was unsure of. Gina felt a rush of pride at how well she was doing, and she praised her when she was done, covering her face with kisses, causing her to giggle.

   Once she was under the covers, she tugged on Gina's hair, which was hanging just above her face. "What's on your mind, sweet pea?" she asked as Casey twisted the strands around her finger.

   "Did something bad happen?" she wondered, looking up at Gina with scared eyes. She was a smart girl, and she was well aware that things weren't normal at the moment. Not with new people in town and everyone acting so subdued.

   "There was a problem at one of the other communities," she told her, trying to temper the severity. "Dad and a few other people went to check it out, but they should be back soon."

   "You keep saying that," she whispered, pulling Gina's face down to hers.

   "I know I do, but I can't tell you for sure when he'll be back because he's too far away for the radio. But look at my face," she said, smiling. "Do I look worried?"

   "Uh uh."

   "Okay then. I don't want you to worry either. You just keep reading like a superstar, and I'll see you in the morning. I love you," she said, kissing her on the cheek. Casey wrapped her arms around her neck, hugging her.

   Tossing her clothes into the hamper, Gina put on one of Negan's shirts before falling into bed, flipping off the lamp before staring at the wall in the dark. The moon cast shadows on the wall, and she watched them move slowly across before her eyes drifted shut, only to be woken a few hours later by the bedroom door opening. She flipped on the light, and Negan came into the room.

   Scanning his body, she felt a release of tension to see that he was perfectly fine, if not exhausted. After kicking off his boots, he undressed slowly before crawling into the bed, laying down as she sat up. He tried to pull her back down, but she wouldn't budge, and with a sigh, he scooted himself up so that he was leaning against the headboard.

   "Hi," he said, causing her to glare at him in disbelief. "I'm back."

   "Is this a joke to you?"

   "No," he said calmly, but the coldness was still in his eyes. This was the second time he'd looked at her that way, and it reminded her of the Sanctuary.

   She ground her teeth together so that she didn't say something she'd regret, and after reaching over to shut off the lamp again, she slammed her head against the pillow, pulling the covers over her shoulder.

   "So this is how it's going to be?" he snapped at her as she yanked the sheet away from him, ignoring him. God, he didn't even have the decency to feel guilty about they way they left things.

   "I don't have anything to say to you right now," she informed him over her shoulder. "But you might want to stop in and give Casey a kiss goodnight. She's been asking about you for two days."

   His silhouette moves across her field of vision as he went back into the hall, returning a few minutes later. Michael was whimpering in his arms, and she sat up to feed him, feeling like she would never get a full night's sleep again. Lifting the shirt, she snuggled him against her breast as he rooted around, finally attaching as she looked up at the ceiling, wishing for some magic dust that she could sprinkle in her eyes to put her to sleep immediately.

   Negan had no such trouble, and she could hear him snoring lightly while she adjusted herself before burping their son. Soft steps led her to his room, and she hovered over Michael to make sure he was out. When she got back in bed, she made no effort to be quiet or accommodating, and Negan woke up with a huff.

   He'd be in for a much ruder awakening tomorrow.


	61. Chapter 61

  
  
   The house was sweltering when Gina opened her eyes, and she was covered in a fine sheen of perspiration. The room was bright, and the sun was hitting her face through the curtains. When she turned her head, she saw that she was alone in the bed. The clock said eight, and she sat up quickly, realizing that she'd had several hours of uninterrupted sleep.

   Negan must have gotten up with the kids, and she went into the bathroom, brushing her teeth and combing her hair before throwing on a pair of shorts and heading downstairs. Casey was sitting on the floor of the living room watching a movie, and Negan was passed out on the couch with Michael sleeping on his bare chest. It was a stirring sight, and she hated to wake them, but she was engorged, needing to pump or feed him.

   The baby squeaked, kicking his legs out when she lifted him up, and Negan's eyes opened immediately, looking around in confusion.

   "Has he eaten lately?"  
Negan sat up, rubbing his eyes before looking at his watch. "About two hours ago."

   "Thanks for letting me sleep," she said, carrying him into the dining room. Michael started smacking his lips together as she lifted her shirt. "Okay, baby," she murmured. "Just a second."

   He began sucking in earnest, causing her to wince as Negan entered the room, sitting down next to her. She readjusted him, letting out a sigh of relief when the pain started to dissipate, and she crossed her legs so she could support his head.

   "Are you ready to talk about it?"

   He was still icy with her, and she immediately reacted.

   "I don't know. Are you ready to stop acting like you went on a fishing trip with your pals?"

   "For fuck's sake, Gina, did you really expect me to sit here and not take action?" He was angry, and he shot daggers at her while she looked steadily back at him. He was acting like no one else was concerned or affected by what happened.

   "No, Negan. I didn't. But you didn't even discuss it with me. I had no way of getting ahold of you, and you were gone for two days. You left me here with a newborn and an eight-year-old less than two weeks after I almost died."

   It was simple to her, and he didn't even consider it. He was always on alert and ready to take action, but he wasn't in charge anymore and he had other people to consider. Gina felt like he really didn't think it was a big deal, whether it was true or not.

   "I'm sorry, but I had to go."

   "Once again, you're not hearing me. Maybe you did need to go, but you didn't talk to me. You just told me what you were doing, and you gave me about five minutes notice. This community is our priority, and we had a meeting while you were gone. So, I'd like to hear what happened and then I'll tell you about what went on here while you were gone."

   She switched sides while he watched her, and when Michael was settled he began to tell her about what they found. The first stop they made was at the Kingdom to check on Maggie and her people. It was uncomfortable for Negan, who was told to wait outside at first. She knew that it had probably bothered him, though he brushed it off at first. It was only when Rick insisted that he be allowed to enter that the whole group made their way in.

   Only Maggie and about a dozen of her people made it, and they were as battered and beaten as the Alexandrians. Her son didn't seem to show any after effects, but everyone else was trying to find their footing in the new community, traumatized by their sudden ousting from home. The Hilltop had been completely demolished, and the main house was nothing but a pile of rubble. There was no way to rebuild the house, and the trailers that sat on the property had all been destroyed. Since there was plenty of room at the Kindom, they were going to stay there for the foreseeable future.

   A group similar to the one that attacked Rick had shown up in the early hours of the same morning, laying waste to the property. All of the people were again wearing fatigues and armor, and no one got a look at any of their faces. Between the gunfire and the explosions, about four men were taken, and scores of women and teenagers were killed. Jesus, Maggie's lieutenant, had been grabbed, but was able to escape, and he told Rick that he was pretty sure the person that he fought with was a woman. She had been smaller in stature, and when he kicked her in the chest, she'd let out a high pitched squeal.

   "Women did this?"

   It was hard for Gina to comprehend. Not that women weren't capable of violence, but for it to be so meticulous and well thought out, it just didn't make sense to her.

   "At least one of them was, but he couldn't tell what the others were. He was just trying to get as many people out of there as possible."

   By the time they got to Alexandria, it was late in the afternoon, and the gate was hanging along the entrance, seemingly held up by only a few bolts. The rest of the walls were tilted perilously, and several bodies were scattered along the grounds along with those that had already risen. Daryl had hastily thrown the truck into park, leaping out to clear the walkers. Negan followed him along with Aaron and Tara, while Rick lagged behind.

   Once the area was clear, he'd taken off towards the remains of his house, and the rest came up behind him. Michonne was still lying on the ground, and an eerie silence had come over the area as they listened to Rick's sobs. Daryl knelt down next to him and Negan had gone into one of the garages that were still standing to find a shovel. Most of the houses had been damaged, and debris was everywhere. Pictures, clothes, all of it was strewn about as if it had never belonged to anyone or held any importance. Anything that was of any value had been pilfered, and all that remained was memories.

   Negan had gone to the cemetery, digging a hole for Michonne's body. Aaron joined him with another shovel, and before the sun set, they had a few graves dug. Someone had retrieved a white sheet, and Daryl and Rick carried her gently. The wind was blowing softly, lifting the leaves as they placed her in the first grave, and Rick knelt with his eyes closed. They gave him a few minutes privacy, and they could see his lips moving as he spoke his final words to her.

   With unsteady movements, he began to fill in the dirt, and Daryl rejoined him only to be brushed off. So they gathered up the other bodies, putting them in the other open graves, working quickly as the sun went down.

   There were only two houses that were habitable, so the five of them all stayed together in the one closest to the entrance. Rick had retreated to the rear of the house, and he spent the night alone.

   "We took turns keeping watch, but no one showed up and nothing out of the ordinary happened."

   Gina put the baby in the portable seat before fixing Casey some breakfast. Negan took the opportunity to go up and get a shower, and when he returned, he took Casey to Tina's to play with Rebecca. When he returned she was dressed and sitting in the living room. Plopping down next to her, he focused on Michael's sleeping face before continuing.

   The next morning, in the light of day, Alexandria seemed to look even worse. They spent the next few hours walking around the community to get an idea if it was salvageable, but the houses were too far gone to be repaired. Tara had tried to convince the rest of the Alexandrians to move permanently to the Kingdom, but it was Daryl that tried to sell them on Reedville, which had surprised Negan under the circumstances.

   "Talia and I are stayin' there for good," he said, kicking at a broken dish that littered the walkway by the gazebo. "It's a nice place, and they're surrounded by water, so if these assholes show up, we'd be able to get away in one of the boats. Plus, with Talia bein' pregnant, their doctor can't be beat. He saved Gina when she nearly died, and I ain't takin' any chances."

   The only one who hadn't given their opinion was Rick, and everyone looked to him, but he was still not talking.

   "I don't have a problem with the place, but everyone I know is at the Kingdom, so I'm with Tara. That's where I plan to be," Aaron said. He seemed almost apologetic as he looked at Daryl, who only shrugged.

   "Ya gotta go where you're comfortable," he muttered.

   "It wasn't until they were exiting what was left of the gate that Rick finally spoke up.

   "I want to take Tara and Aaron to the Kingdom, and then I want to stop back at the Hilltop to see if there's any way Daryl can track whoever did this."

   "I don't think that's a good idea," Tara began, but she quickly shut up when she saw the look on his face.

   "If I have to spend the rest of my life looking, I'm going to find the fuckers that did this," he said. "Plus they took our people. I'll figure out a way to get them back."

   No one seemed to doubt that, and it was then that Negan finally joined the conversation.

   "I'll help you."

   Rick nodded his head, walking briskly to the truck. When they arrived back at the Kingdom, he waited outside this time as Tara and Aaron were escorted in by Daryl and Rick. They returned with both food and more guns, and Daryl drove them back to the Hilltop. Since it was surrounded by dirt roads, he was going to see if there were any tracks leading away that didn't belong to any of the vehicles that were on the property.

   "He struck minor gold when we got to the back," Negan told her as she listened closely. "There were oversize tire tracks that didn't match any of the trucks there, and he was able to follow them for a few miles, but once they turned onto the highway, the mud faded eventually. But we have an idea of which way they came from and it looks like they drove in from west of both properties. So it's a start."

   Gina had only been a few miles west of Alexandria, and it was the furthest community of all the ones they'd dealt with.

   "From there, we headed back here, but we took a long and drawn out route just in case we were being watched."

   "And Rick? Is he moving to the Kingdom?"

   Negan shook his head, seeming as surprised as anyone. "He said he's staying here as long as we'll have him. Daryl's as happy as a pig in shit."

   Gina smiled at the description, and she wondered if Negan was okay with it. When she asked him, he astonished her with his answer.

   "I'm glad he's staying. He's smart, he's strategic, and he'll be a hell of an asset. I've been on the receiving end of his fury," he said with an impish grin. "I can only imagine what he has in store for those cunts." The smile faded from his face quickly as he continued. "He's a broken man right now, and I don't envy the position he's in, losing his woman like that." There was a knowing look in his eyes, and she figured he was thinking about his own position a few weeks ago.

   Gina unbuckled the baby from his seat, carrying him upstairs to bathe him as Negan followed. He started the water while she got him undressed, and she handed him over, letting Negan put him in the tub. He began to cry, and she washed him quickly.

   "He lost his umbilical cord?"

   "Yesterday," she replied, cleansing around the area, which was still slightly red. He seemed thoughtful as he rubbed soap off of Michael's head, and the baby's eyes fluttered with the sensation, his little lips curling up. It made Gina's heart hurt with how much she loved this little thing, and she couldn't imagine how lucky she was to be here with him. Somehow, looking back on her indecision when she was out of it seemed ridiculous, and she was grateful to be able to be here, however long it was.

   Once he was lotioned up and dressed, she put him on the bed, laying on her side as he kicked his arms and legs, and Negan got on the other side of him, letting Michael curl his hand around his finger.

   "I can't believe we made this little fucker," he said affectionately, and she smacked him on the shoulder.

   "Don't call him that."

   "I say it with love," he replied, watching the baby with an enraptured expression. She'd never even seen him look at her like that, and it was genuine. "Isn't he just the absolute shit? I mean, don't we just have the coolest kids?"

   "You're incorrigible," she muttered. There were no other words that fit.

   After the baby settled down, his eyes drifted closed, and Negan carried him to his crib before resuming his exact spot. Gina was stretching her legs, pulling them towards her head, and he ran his finger along her thigh.

   "When are we allowed to have sex again?"

   "Probably not for another month, I think."

   He growled softly under his breath as she continued. "At least I can't get pregnant again."

   Dr. Thomas had been unable to repair her uterus, and she'd had a hastily performed hysterectomy. "Does that bother you?" he wondered and she actually laughed.

   "Hell, no. We have a boy and a girl. I'm all set."

   "All right, boss lady, tell me about your meeting."

   Gina rolled back over to her side, and she rested her head on her bent arm.

   "Clinton, Trevor, Devin and I got together, and I think you'll be proud of me," she said as he looked at her in amusement. "I tried to think like you, to figure out what you'd do. So we decided to extend our patrol area and double the number of people on watch at all time. We're going to have new checkpoints about a half-mile out, and there's a factory that we're establishing a permanent watch point at. It has an unobstructed view of the entire area, and it's going to be reinforced with an arsenal."

   He looked suitably impressed, but she wasn't done. "Also, Trevor is outfitting two boats to get us out of here in the event that we can't leave on foot. I've authorized some supplies to be loaded on them, and he's putting them in the far corner of the marina, so we can have everyone out of here in minutes if we need to. The entire community's been briefed on the new protocol, and everyone is going to do a practice run tomorrow."

   "Jesus, darlin', you're not messing around."

   "No, I'm not," she assured him, pulling his face towards her.

   "There's one more thing," she said, "and you're not going to like it."

   "What?"

   "No one's leaving the community without the permission of the council from now on."

   "What?" This time the question wasn't curious, it came from a place of disbelief, and he removed her hand from his face.

   "That's the new rule, and it applies to everyone."

   Negan sat up, and she followed his lead.

   "We can't run a community like that," he said, and she could hear the anger in his voice.

   "We _are_ running the community like that because that's what those of us on the council decided." Her hackles were raised and she got off the bed, grabbing the pile of laundry that was sitting in the basket, dumping it on the bed and folding it angrily as he paced the room.

   "So you're pulling rank on me?"

   The words were laced with derision, and she kept her head down, putting the clothes into neat piles.

   "I'm pulling rank on everyone," she snapped as he came to a stop. "It's my job now to make the decisions, remember? That's what you wanted."

   "Yeah, but I didn't-"

   "You didn't what?" she interrupted, spinning around to face him. "Didn't think my rules applied to you? Did yours apply to me in the Sanctuary? Wasn't I expected to respect your choices?"

   Gina could see him bite back a reply, and she turned back around. "Don't put me in a tough position, Negan, because you may not like what I'm forced to do. And I'd appreciate it if you let your new buddies Rick and Daryl know."

   If the baby wasn't sleeping, she was sure he'd slam the door. As it was, he stomped out of the room, the sounds echoing through the house as he went down the steps and out the door. She peeked through the window, and he went directly to Jerika's house.

   She spent the rest of the afternoon ruminating on the conversation, and it pissed her off. Negan was the one that wanted her to succeed supposedly, and the first time she did something he didn't agree with, he threw a tantrum.

   Once again, she spent the night alone with the kids, doing everything, and she went to bed by herself, waking up the same way.


	62. Chapter 62

 

   A near constant breeze was blowing, and Gina pulled her hair into a ponytail while she waited for Daryl to arrive at the gate. She was taking her first trip away from the baby, and she was both excited and nervous. He was four months old, and she'd spent the better part of the morning hovering over him before getting Casey off to school. They were only going to be gone for the day, but she found herself more emotional than she thought she'd be.

   When she went in to get him for his morning feeding, he'd rolled over in his crib for the first time, and she had just missed it. Scooping him up, she kissed his face, and he babbled happily until she got him settled. It seemed that he was growing and changing every day, and he was starting to look more and more like Negan. His eyes were still blue, but his hair had started to thicken, laying across the top of his head in silky waves and when he smiled, the dimples on his cheeks deepened. Gina didn't see any of herself in him, but Talia told her all the time that he made the same facial expressions as her.

   "Were you getting your beauty sleep, Dixon?"

   Daryl shot her a look as he loped over to the truck, climbing in the passenger's seat and slamming the door before tilting his head back and closing his eyes. Chuckling to herself, she got behind the wheel, setting her gun on the seat between them. The truck rumbled to life, and she glanced over at him before moving out.

   "You don't have to come with me, you know. I can ask Devin to come instead."

   "Nah, I'm good," he told her. "I could use a day away."

   "Trouble in paradise?" she joked, pulling out slowly and rolling down the window to let a little air in. It was cool, but not unbearably so, and she always liked to have the windows open whenever possible. Since they lived by the ocean, it smelled like childhood to her, and it conjured up memories of summers at the beach, swimming and playing along the shore.

   "Yer sister is mean. She's just flat out mean right now," he grumbled, lifting up his leg and setting his dirty boot on the dashboard, ignoring her glare.

   Chuckling lightly, she turned on the music to a tolerable level, and she found it hard to disagree with him. Talia was right around eight months, and she was hitting the same emotional highs and lows that Gina did at the end of her pregnancy. Watching it happen to someone else was amusing, to say the least. Most of the anger was directed at Daryl, though no one was completely immune from her mood swings. Just the night before, she'd bitten Gina's head off when she asked Talia how she was feeling.

   "How do you think I feel?" she snapped, sneering at Gina with narrowed eyes. "My back hurts, my feet are swollen, and I have shooting pains down my leg. I'm fucking miserable."

   "Why don't you go lay down?" Daryl suggested, and she turned her laser glare towards him, causing him to recoil slightly.

   "Because laying down is not the answer for everything. Just let me complain about it, and stop trying to help all the damn time."

   At that point, Gina had excused herself, hurrying out of the house like her life depended on it, feeling guilty about how horrible she was during her own pregnancy, so much so that she was actually going to apologize to Negan again when she got home, but he was already asleep.

   "I was the same way," she reminded Daryl, who was fiddling with his knife, twirling the sharpened tip on his thumb. "She can't help it. She'll be back to normal once she has the baby."

   "Man, that's not for another month."

   "It'll go by fast," she lied. It most definitely wouldn't but there was no harm in trying to make him feel better.

   "What about you? Are you and the asshole gettin' along any better?"

   Gina knew he was trying to get the spotlight off of himself, and he still called Negan the asshole even after all these months. He didn't say it angrily, and he even did it to Negan, who didn't seem to mind.

   Her fingers pressed into the wheel, and she lifted her shoulders, letting them drop without responding. The last few months, their relationship had been strained, to say the least. Ever since she and the rest of the council declared that no one was allowed to leave without permission, he'd been cold and distant with her. Their future was teetering on the precipice of doom, and she wasn't sure how much longer she could hang on. They were more like roommates than spouses, and they hadn't had sex since before the baby came.

   At first, she'd tried to reason with him, but it got her nowhere, and the week after they put the travel restrictions in place, he'd gone out before dawn while she was sleeping. He and Rick had taken one of the trucks, presumably to look for the mysterious group that had attacked the settlements. They didn't return until the following day, and she'd been waiting at the gates with Clinton, Devin, and Trevor.

   Clinton had ordered them to surrender all of their guns and keys to the trucks, and they'd both been reassigned to marina duty. Rick pulled her aside later, apologizing for not clearing it with the council, but Negan was defiant to the end, refusing to sleep in the bedroom with her, and only interacting with Gina when Casey was around.

   Over time, she'd become numb to it, and it was a new normal in their house. Negan would go to work all day while she stayed with Michael, and he'd return at dinner time where they'd eat together with Casey. After they were done, he'd spend time with her before giving Michael a bath and then he'd get them to bed. Some nights, he wouldn't even come to their room. He'd sleep in the guest bed or go out for the night. She, meanwhile, would work through the evening, shoring up her responsibilities, and then she'd go out to their dock, sitting on the edge.

   It was there that she'd wonder how much more she could take. Life was too short to spend it miserable, and no matter how much she loved him, she refused to spend the rest of her life being ignored and dismissed, all because she was doing what he wanted her to do. The last several weeks she'd walked around with a pit of anxiety in her stomach, and tonight was the night that they'd have it out, one way or another.

   "We're almost there," she told Daryl, changing the subject. Gina couldn't talk about it, it hurt so much.

   Sensing her distress, he let the subject drop, sitting up straight as they turned onto the road to Arcadia. Studying the area, he let out a little grunt as they approached the outer fence, and she slowed to a stop, rolling the window down all the way to greet Terry, who was on duty.

   "Right on time," he said jovially as she shook his hand, introducing him to Daryl. After a cursory check of the vehicle, he let them keep their guns, and they made their way to the main house. Johnson was standing out on the steps, still in his overalls, and still without a shirt.

   "What the hell?" Daryl mumbled, and she chuckled under her breath.

   "I know, right?"

   Gina turned off the truck and stepped out, and Johnson pulled her by the arm into his chest, and her cheek bounced of his man breast.

   "It's nice to see you, sweetling," he boomed out, releasing her and appraising her figure. "You sure did bounce back from that pregnancy, didn't ya?"

   Smiling to hide her disgust, she waved Daryl over so that she could introduce him. "Oh, is this your fella?"

   "No this is my brother-in-law," she explained, and Daryl extended his hand. "Daryl this is Johnson. Johnson, this is Daryl."

   "Nice to meet ya," Daryl said in a gravelly voice, and Johnson folded his meaty fingers around Daryl's, shaking his arm up and down as Daryl's mouth pruned up.

   "Ah, a fellow country boy," he observed, taking a step back and sticking his thumbs in the corners of his overalls. "Welcome to Arcadia."

   Johnson snapped his fingers, and several men went to the trailer that was attached to the truck, unloading the seafood that they brought, as Gina pulled out her ledger, checking off the cartons as they were carried off.

   Before she gave birth, she and Johnson had renegotiated their agreement, and he'd begged her for another shooting competition, claiming that he had spent the year practicing. He did, in fact, improve, but she was still better, and he'd grudgingly given up two female goats along with a male, which were now supplying them with a meager helping of milk and cheese.

   Once the trailer was empty, Johnson snapped his fingers again, and Daryl's face was a sight. The clomping sounds of hoofbeats echoed through the air, and a horse came around the bed, pulling a cart that was loaded down with supplies. Daryl joined the men loading them up, and Gina stood alongside them, marking everything down as Johnson clucked his tongue.

   "Now, have I ever shorted you, sweetling?"

   "Of course not, but I have to keep track of everything regardless, so this saves me a step when I get home."

   "I understand," he conceded, rocking back and forth on his heels. "Ya want to get back to those young'uns, I expect."

   She grinned as Michael and Casey's faces flashed through her mind. This was the longest she'd been apart from the both of them, and she and Daryl were still going to try to hit up the orchard before they went home.

   "So, you still haven't seen any strangers around have you?" she asked, and he shook his head, nodding at Daryl as he came to stand on her left side.

   "No, my men have done patrols every day for months for miles around our land, and we've seen neither hide nor hair of anyone, aside from a few deaders."

   Gina reached into her bag, pulling out a long range radio. She flipped it on, but there was only static. "You'd probably have to head in a few miles to get reception, but if you should need anything, call us on this channel," she said, showing him as he leaned in towards her. "We can be here within a couple hours."

   "You're good people," he said, and he was sincere. After wiping off his brow, he shook her hand and she and Daryl got back in the truck. She let him drive since he was much better at backing up with the trailer than she was. They got back on the road in minutes and she glanced over at Daryl out of the corner of her eye.

   "That guy is a piece of work," he finally muttered and she snickered to herself before telling him about her first meeting with Johnson. One of his hands dipped into his pocket and he fished out a pack of cigarettes. "You care if I smoke?" he asked and she shook her head. He put one between his lips, lighting in and taking a deep drag while putting the window all the way down.

   Gina settled back in the seat after finding her sunglasses, and she zoned out while he drove them towards the orchard. The familiar burning in her gut started as she thought about returning to see Negan, and she unconsciously began to twist her hair around her finger. The good thing about Daryl is that he knew when to leave her be, and he turned the music up, speeding towards the farm while she stared out the window, the trees buzzing by in a multi-colored blur.

   The orchard was quiet when they arrived, and she and Daryl took turns pulling the fall apples from the trees. He'd reminded her the night before to bring crates, and they were rapidly filling up with the brightly colored fruit. They each ate several while they worked, and it was probably around four o'clock when they decided to call it a day.

   Gina's cheeks were pink from the sun and the wind and her hair was beyond hope, though she did her best to comb through the knots. All in all, it felt like a successful first day back in the real world, and she knew that she made the right choice in returning to her duties. Her only regret was not knowing what kind of reception she was coming home to.

   The only thought implanted in her mind was to give it one more try and go from there. She planned dinner out while Daryl drove home, and the sun was setting as they got back home. He told her he'd get everything unloaded, and she harbored her own belief that he, too, wasn't sure what he was walking into, though their circumstances were night and day.

   Opening the door, she was greeted with a hug by Casey, who had just gotten back from school. Tina was standing in the foyer holding Michael, who was drooling.

   "Hey, sweet boy," she cooed as she took him in her arms, kissing the top of his head. He talked back to her in a series of squeaks, and Casey rubbed his head as she stood between the two women.

   "How did everything go?" she asked as Tina smiled warmly.

   "He's an angel," she assured him. "Drank all his bottles, and we had lots of tummy time. He's getting really good at staying up on his arms."

   "I was good, too," Casey chirped, getting Gina's attention.

   "I never have to worry about you, bug," she praised her, putting on arm around her shoulders. "You're always on your best behavior."

   They chatted for a few minutes before Tina took her leave, and Gina got to work making dinner. She herself had no appetite, but she put together a full meal, making chicken and vegetables, which was sitting on the table when Negan walked in. They were all in their seats, and he greeted Casey first before kissing the baby on the head. Gina received a cursory glance, and her face fell slightly.

   Dinner was focused completely on the kids, as Negan kept a running conversation with Casey. A sinking feeling grew in her stomach, and Gina pushed her food around on the plate, looking up only when Casey called out to her.

   "Mom!" she said with exasperation, and Gina turned to look at her. "I called you like three times."

   "I'm sorry, bug. What's wrong?"

   "I asked if I could have some more."

   "Of course you can," Gina said, taking her plate and adding more chicken. When she dared to turn her eyes to Negan, he was giving her a cold gaze, and she lowered her lashes quickly, trying not to let the stinging in her eyes turn into actual tears.

   As soon as they were done, she got up to clear the table, and Negan took both kids up to get ready for bed. By the time everything was cleaned up, she didn't even recall doing it. When he came back down the steps, she was sitting at the table with a glass of whiskey in front of her, twisting her ring around her finger in circles.

   "This is nice," he said sarcastically. "I was just thinking that it was time our son had his first drink."

   "I already pumped, and I'm going to throw out this batch," she said as he sat down across from her with a put-upon sigh. "I needed it for this."

   "For what?"

   His entire demeanor was filled with disdain, and she slowly pulled off the ring, holding it between her thumb and forefinger before setting it on the table and sliding it towards him. It made a scratchy sound as it traveled across the wood table, and when he looked at her, she saw that one eyebrow was raised, as if he was daring her to say something.

   "Is this some kind of joke?"

   "No," she said, quietly. "I don't need it anymore."

   "...Because?"

   "Because I think we're done." Gina took a deep breath before continuing. "No, I'm sure we're done. We've spent the last few months living like strangers, or like two people who were thrown together to raise these kids. Neither of us is happy. That's not breaking news. But I was willing to try, I really was. If you had just come home today with a smile for me. With any sort of effort-"

   Negan snorted as he flicked the ring back towards her, and it clattered against the glass before she picked it up and took a long swig, wincing as it burned going down her throat.

   "I'm really not in the mood for your histrionics," he said as he stood up.

   But she had one more bombshell to drop.

   "Okay, well, then, there's also the fact that you slept with Annabeth."

   Negan sat back down abruptly and his face went slack as he stared at her openmouthed. The attitude was gone in the blink of an eye.

   "How did you know?"

   Gina smiled through the pain. Smiled as her heart ripped in two. But there was also a strange sense of release, like sucking the poison from a snake bite. She was sucking the poison from the fresh hole in her heart.

   "It was just a guess, until now. But thank you for not denying it."

   She knew something was going on a few weeks ago, during a weekly meeting. Gina saw Annabeth watching Negan with a look on her face that she'd seen many times on countless other women. Coupled with the furtive glances that Annabeth sent her way, and Negan brushing the blonde off repeatedly, she knew. She knew deep in her soul, even though she spent the last few weeks trying to rationalize every look, every move to herself.

   Negan's hands shook minutely as he placed them flat on the table, and she pushed the ring back carefully, both of them watching the journey across the empty space between them. That's all there was anymore. An empty space between them.

   "It only happened once," he confessed, his voice shaky. "I was drunk and I didn't even finish. I knew it was a mistake and I wanted to tell you-"

   Gina took another drink, her eyes closing as she breathed through her nose.

   "I don't need the details."

   The silence was oppressive as her mouth filled with saliva, and she fought to keep from vomiting. Swallowing twice, she continued to look at the ring as he stood up again, this time coming to kneel down at her side. Reaching out, he tried to touch her, but she recoiled, and he dropped his hands.

   "Please give me a chance to make this right. I'll do anything."

   "I-"

   She had to clear her throat before she continued, and her voice faded in spots. "I have nothing else to give you, Negan. I've given you my heart, my body, and my soul. I've given you my pride. I don't have anything else."

   His nose began to run, and he wiped it away roughly with his forearm. "I'm left with nothing. I'm no one now because I've given it all to you. But this is me taking it back. This is me getting myself back. All of it."

   "I'm so sorry," he pleaded as his head dropped onto the arm of her chair, and she stood up, backing away from him towards the kitchen.

   "I'm sorry, too. I'm sorry I wasn't enough for you, but that's my fault."

   His head snapped up at that, and his eyes were red as she held the glass between her hands. The liquid shook slightly as she spoke. "I knew who you were when I fell in love with you. I knew that this was always a possibility, and it's my fault for thinking that my love was enough."

   "That's not true," he protested, standing up and taking a few steps towards her. "This is about me. About how I always fuck things up."

   Gina shook her head, taking another step back into the kitchen, where her jacket was hanging on the hook. "We'll figure out arrangements where the kids are concerned, and you can see them anytime you want."

   He tried to say something, but she continued talking over him. "I hope you'll be available to take them when I have to leave the compound, and we'll figure out a sleepover schedule whenever you get settled at another house. I'll go outside and give you some time to pack up."

   "No," he tried to argue until she added one last comment. It was the meanest, most truthful thing she could ever say to him, and it came from deep in the shattered remains of her heart.

   "I don't regret anything, though." Gina pulled on her jacket, zipping it up as the tears continued to fall down his face, dripping off his chin as he stood with his arms out. "I got the best part of you, and he's upstairs sleeping. I'll get over this," she promised, more to herself to him. "I'll be fine, but you," she said, looking him straight in the eyes. "You won't."

   Gina turned away from him, opening the kitchen door softly before closing it behind her. She walked through the dark to the dock, sitting down at the edge and pulling out a cigarette. Daryl had given her one without question, and she lit it up, taking a deep puff. She felt slightly uneasy, but since she wasn't giving Michael her milk, she continued to inhale, blowing out a large exhale of smoke that mixed with the condensation from her breath.

   It was done. It was over. She'd drained the poison from her heart, and tears replaced the venom that had eaten away at her over the last few months. The whiskey was emptied and her eyes were stinging when she made her way back into the house. Her ring was gone from the table, and after she shut out the lights, she went up into her room and his clothes and things were gone, except for a piece of paper that sat in the middle of the bed, and there were only two words written on it.

    _I'm sorry._

   With a strangled sob, she balled it up in her fist and threw it in the trash.


	63. Chapter 63

  
   There was a soft knock at the door, and Gina left her coffee cup on the table while she went to answer it. Standing on the porch was Negan, and he was wearing the leather jacket that she got him last Christmas. She waved him in, and he stood awkwardly in the foyer while she went to take her cup into the kitchen.

   "Casey should be down in a minute," she called out before coming back to put on her boots. He didn't answer her, but she looked up to see him watching her. It had been over a month since she'd ended things, and he still tried to convince her to take him back almost daily. Each time, she'd cut him off, refusing to even entertain the idea. 

   Ignoring his gaze, she went into the living room, pulling Michael from his bouncy chair and bringing him out to see his father. Negan's face lit up as the baby reached out for him, and he took him into his arms, smelling the top of his head as Michael pulled on his chin whiskers. 

   "My boy," he murmured, his eyes closing while Gina went to grab her coat. "You're getting so big."

   "Casey," she called up the steps. "You're going to be late. Let's go."

   Footsteps pounded above them as she took Michael back, bundling up in his coat and hat before strapping him into his car seat. 

   "Can you take both of them for the night tonight?" she asked, hefting him up and resting the handle in the crook of her arm. 

   "Sure," Negan said, replying much too quickly. "Are you going on a run?"

   "I have a date tonight," she told him, looking him in the eye. He blanched slightly, but she didn't back down. "We're having dinner here. I can pick the kids up in the morning."

   "Oh."

   "If you can come by around six, I'll make sure they're fed, and I'll pack up some food for Michael along with his bottles."

   Casey came flying down the steps, flinging her pink backpack behind her as Gina held out her coat. 

   "Hey, little darlin'," Negan said, clearing his throat. Gina could tell that he was struggling to remain nonchalant, but it wasn't her problem. She wasn't going to feel guilty for moving on. Too much had happened in the past month, and she was ready to see what the future held for her. 

   "Hey," Casey said, distracted by the zipper on her coat. When she was done, she took Negan by the hand, and Gina leaned down to kiss her on the top of her head. 

   "I'll see you after school," she said before glancing at Negan. "Thanks again."

   He nodded silently before walking out the door, and she could see his shoulders slump as he led Casey to school. 

 

   The morning after Negan left, Gina had brought Michael into bed with her, watching him as tears fell from her eyes. She had him propped up against her bent legs, and he squeaked and cooed while she struggled to breathe. Her life had changed irrevocably the night before, but this time she wasn't alone. She had him, and she had Casey, and they would see her through yet another heartbreaking situation where Negan was concerned.

   Casey had come into the room about a half an hour later, and she crawled into the bed with them, laying on Negan's pillow. 

   "What's wrong, mom?"

   "I need to talk to you, bug," she said, sitting up and resting Michael between her crossed legs. She had rehearsed what she was going to say over and over, but in the face of her big green eyes, Gina struggled to come up with words that wouldn't upset her. 

   "Dad's not going to be living in the house with us anymore," she said, and Casey sat up, crossing her legs to mirror Gina. 

   "Did you get into a fight?" she asked, her mouth turning down sadly. 

   "We just weren't getting along anymore, and both of us were sad. So he's going to live in his own house, and we're going to stay here. But you can see him whenever you want, and he'll still take you to school. I don't want you to worry about anything," she assured her, cupping her face in her hand. "We'll both be much happier now, and you can spend the night with him whenever you want. We both love you very much, and that will never change."

   Casey looked down at the baby, and her voice was high when she spoke. "Did I do something wrong?"

   "No, baby," she said forcefully, leaning down so that they were eye to eye. "This has nothing to do with you or Michael. This is adult stuff, and I promise you, things will be much better from now on."

   By the time Casey was ready for school, Gina had Michael dressed to go to the office with her. She didn't think that Negan would show to take her, but he was standing just on the other side of the door, arm raised when they went to walk out. He looked like he hadn't slept, but Gina refused to interact with him other than to hand Casey off, who was watching the two of them very carefully. Giving him a simple smile, they walked out together, but she and Michael moved ahead of them. 

   When he dropped Casey off just before dinner, Gina had sent her right upstairs to get changed, and Michael was napping in the playpen. She was going to shut the door, but he stopped it with his arm. 

   "Can we talk? Please?"

   "Sure," she replied, leaning up against the door frame, resting her hip against the wood as she crossed her arms. He was relieved at first until she continued speaking.

   "I'd love to talk. In fact, I'll just ask you the questions that have been floating around in my mind for the past few weeks, all right?"

   His face dropped, but she pressed on. "For example, when you kissed her, did you do the little trick with your tongue? You know, when you swirl it around counter-clockwise?"

   "Gina-"

   "Oh," she went on, her eyes glittering, "did you use your hands or your mouth on her breasts? I mean, I know you're fond of both, but that was another question that kept me up at night when I was picturing you two together. Were you two looking each other in the eye, or did you take her from behind? I'm torn on that one," she said, looking up as if she were truly contemplating it. "On one hand, I'm thinking face to face, since she doesn't have an ugly scar across her abdomen. But on the other," she drawled, lifting up her hand, "you do like fucking from behind."

   Gina snapped her fingers as if she just remembered something important. "Did you call out Lucille's name? When you put your dick inside her, did it feel different than me? Was it better? Tighter? Looser? Come on, Negan, spill."

   He looked like he wanted to vomit, and she cocked her head to the side, waiting for a response. 

   "Nothing? I thought you wanted to talk," she finally said, shaking her head. 

   "If I could take it all back, I would," he told her as she smiled. "I've spent the last few weeks making myself sick over it."

   "No," she corrected him. "You spent the last few weeks making _me_ sick over it. You treated me like an inconvenience, like someone you were stuck with."

   She watched his mouth open and close, and she knew he was going to try to deny it. But he didn't speak, he just looked in her eyes, and something he saw there took him back a step. Maybe he could see that she finally had enough.

   "The good news is that you're not stuck with me anymore. And you can spend your days fucking anyone on two legs. It's no longer my concern. The only thing I ask is that you help out with the kids."

   "I'll do anything you need me to."

   Gina stood up straight, reaching back for the door. "Thank you," she said, closing it firmly and locking it.

   The next morning, she dropped Michael off at Tina's before walking slowly down the street. The last house before the armory had a red door, and she knocked on it three times, pasting a smile on her face when it opened. 

   Annabeth was standing there in surprise as Gina walked past her, plopping herself down on the flowered couch that sat in the living room. 

   "Good morning," she said pleasantly, watching as Annabeth shifted from foot to foot, her face concerned.

   Gina stifled a yawn before giving her an apologetic grin. 

   "Sorry," she told her, shrugging her shoulders. "I'm always tired, thanks to the kids. You understand," she continued, winking at her.

   "Is there something...?" 

   Annabeth trailed off, taking one step towards her as Gina looked her up and down. She was short, and though she had a decent body, her face was worn down and rough. It wouldn't have made it any easier if Annabeth was pretty, but it would have been understandable. Negan was a pig, and he always slept with good looking women. Maybe it was just that this woman was ready and available.

   "I don't want to take up much of your time," Gina said genially, "I just wanted to know where you'd be going when you leave here for good."

   "Going?"

   "Oh, sweetie," she said with a hint of sadness. "You didn't really think I'd let you stay here after you fucked my husband, did you?"

   Annabeth's face began to get red blotches, and she took a step forward as Gina stood up. She looked up into Gina's eyes, and her mouth gaped open.

   "He told you?"

   "He didn't have to. How stupid do you think I am?"

   "I don't," she protested, putting her hands up. "It was just once, I swear-"

   "Oh, I know," Gina assured her. "So, do you have someplace to go?"

   "I'm not going anywhere," she snapped, anger beginning to show in her features. "It's not my fault you couldn't keep him satisfied-"

   Gina slapped her across the face, and Annabeth's head rocked to the side from the blow. She swung her fist towards Gina, who swept her legs out from under her, knocking her to the ground. A huff of air escaped Annabeth's lungs, and Gina produced a knife, holding it against her throat. 

   "We can do this one of two ways," she said pleasantly as the blonde sucked in a breath. "You can pack your things and leave. We'll tell everyone that you found some old friends, family members, I don't care what. Or," she continued, pressing the blade a little deeper so that the skin puckered around it, "I'll call a town meeting right now. I'm sure the other women in this town would love to know that you're sniffing around their husbands."

   "I'm not," she squeaked, her eyes filling with tears. 

   "Who do you think they'll believe? You or me?"

   In a flash, Gina's eyes filled with tears of her own. "Annabeth chased after my husband for months," she whimpered, laying it on thick. "She was relentless, and she got him drunk..."

   Leaning down into her shocked face, she smiled. "You can stay and take your chances with me, of course, though I wouldn't recommend it. I don't take kindly to people who can't be trusted, and you, sweetie, can't be trusted."

   "Now," she said, standing up quickly, "I'm going to ask you again, where are you going to go?"

   Annabeth sat up, rubbing her neck. There was a tiny red mark where the knife was, but no blood. "I don't know." Her hands were shaking and she looked up at Gina, terrified.

   "The Kingdom and Arcadia are off limits," Gina warned her. "I'll expect you in my office in an hour. I'll make sure you have enough food to get you wherever you need to go."

   She walked to the door and spoke over her shoulder. "I know you're angry," she said in a soft voice. "But don't underestimate how fucking serious I am. If you try anything, there won't be enough of you left over to bury."

   Looking over her shoulder, she winked at Annabeth once again. "You fucked with the wrong woman."

   With a little pep in her step, she crossed another task off of the to-do list in her mind. Every minute that passed, she was rebounding from the beating her ego had taken, and she could feel the old Gina returning, the one from before Negan ever entered her life. The one who would love 'em and leave 'em. 

   Exactly one hour later, Annabeth was standing in her office, a large duffel bag slung over her shoulder and her hands in her pockets. Gina walked her to the warehouse and got her a week's worth of supplies. Several people gave them questioning looks, but Annabeth pasted a smile on her face, telling anyone that asked that she found her best friend while on a run, and that she was moving to her community. Gina feigned disappointment that they were losing such a valuable member of their community, and looked Annabeth in the eye.

   "We sure will miss you," she said, watching as Annabeth shivered slightly before giving her a small nod. Gina walked her to the gate, pulling her into a hug. 

   "Don't ever set foot within ten miles of this place, or I'll have you shot on sight. Hell, I'll do it myself, and you know I won't miss," she uttered into her ear. 

   When she released, there were tears in her eyes, and Annabeth took a step back. Gina held out a knife that she could use for protection, and the other woman took it with her fingertips, not daring to come any closer. 

   After the gates closed, Gina climbed up on the wall, watching until Annabeth was out of sight, driving their oldest truck off into the distance. As she hit the ground, she saw that Negan was back on the main road, and he was staring at her. She kept her head held high, passing him without a word. 

   The days flew by, and if she wasn't working or with the kids, she was at her sister's. Talia was suspicious about why she and Negan broke up, but all Gina would tell her is that things had just run their course. It wasn't a secret that they hadn't gotten along the last few months, but Talia wasn't buying it. She had tried to press Gina several times until she finally blew up.

   "It's nobody's fucking business why we're done," she screeched as Talia's hand went to her throat. "I don't pry into your relationship, so stop prying into mine."

   Shock gave way to anger, and Talia hefted herself out of her seat, her hand supporting the bottom of her stomach. Daryl came to stand between them, and they were both breathing heavily as they glared at each other. 

   "That's enough," he barked so loudly that they both turned to stare at him.

   "I keep tellin' ya that ya need to mind your own business," he snapped at Talia. "And you don't need ta be yellin' at her when she's just concerned. Neither of ya has any sense that God gave a goose. Fer Christ's sake."

   Gina took a step back, running her hand down her face. 

   "I'm sorry," she muttered as Talia crossed her arms, still giving her a dirty look.

   Daryl gave her a pointed gaze and she muttered a half-hearted apology as well. 

   Gina tossed and turned that night, angry at her sister and at herself. Why she was still covering for Negan she didn't understand. But deep down, it was her pride again. She didn't want anyone to know that he'd cheated on her. It hurt too much, and she didn't want them to look at her like she was some scorned woman. 

   A week before Talia's due date, Gina went to Negan's house to pick up the kids. She'd been out on a run with Rick, and they didn't get back until almost dark. He was living on the peninsula across from Gina's house, and she could hear music coming from his home as she walked up the steps to his tiny enclosed porch. He'd taken a small ranch house and there were only two other families that lived on that stretch of the community. 

  _"In another life, I would make you stay_

_So I don't have to say you were the one that got away_

_The one that got away"_

   She knocked loudly, hoping that someone could hear her over the singing, and a few seconds later, the door opened. The house was a mess, and she could see dishes piled up on the counter of the kitchen and toys everywhere. Negan was holding Michael, and Casey was dancing in the living room. 

    _"In another life, I would make you stay_

_So I don't have to say you were the one that got away_

_The one that got away"_

   The song continued to blare as she reached out for her son, who's face was covered in green gunk, presumably green beans or peas. 

   "Would you like to come in?" Negan asked hopefully, but she shook her head.

   "No, thank you. It's been a long day. I take it they've eaten?" she replied over the music. Casey spied her out of the corner of her eye, and she shut the cd player off, running over to hug her.

   "Mom!"

   "Hi, baby. Did you have fun today?" 

   "It was okay," she said as Negan began to collect their things, handing her Michael's coat while he helped Casey into hers. That surprised her because usually, Casey was bubbling over when she got back from staying with Negan.

   After he handed her their bags, she took Casey by the hand, not bothering with a goodbye. Casey climbed into the truck, and she buckled Michael in his seat. The light from Negan's open door was still shining on her as she shut the car door, and she went around the front of the vehicle so that she didn't have to make eye contact with him. As they drove away, she questioned Casey about her day.

   "Didn't you have a good time with Dad?" she asked, peering back at her in the rearview mirror.

   "I did until I played the music," she said, twisting her hair around her finger. 

   "The music you were just listening to? Who was that?"

   "Katy Perry. Dad found me a bunch of CDs in one of the houses, and when I played that song, he got all sad. He made me play it over and over."

   "Jesus Christ," she muttered under her breath, bringing the truck to a stop. Looking behind her, she reversed back to just before his driveway. "I forgot something, bug. I'll be right back."

   Gina slammed the door and strode up to his door, knocking again impatiently. Negan opened it, looking at her with a ghost of a smile until she poked him in the chest.

   "You better get your shit together," she snapped. "We're done and that's never going to change. So stop mooning around like a fucking teenage girl and freaking our kid out. Own your shit. Got it?"

   She didn't bother waiting for a response. Gina got back in the truck and peeled away, swearing under her breath. _Fucking asshole_.

   That night, after she got the kids into bed, she was surprised to get a late night visitor. When she peered through the curtains, she saw that Rick was standing at her door. 

   "Hey, is everything all right?" she asked, waving him in.

   "Oh, yeah," he said, wringing his hands together. "Talia and Daryl are fighting, and Carl is spending the night with that kid, Julian. I just had to get out of there."

   "Where's Judith?"

   "She's conked out, and she can sleep through a hurricane. I just couldn't listen to those two sniping at each other anymore. I didn't interrupt anything, did I?"

   "No, I just got the kids to bed and I was going to straighten up. Come on in."

   "Are you sure? I don't want to impose."

   "Make yourself at home," she said, directing him into the living room. He sat down as she picked up the toys that were scattered around. When she was done, she brought in a brand new bottle of whiskey and two glasses, pouring them each a small bit. 

   "So, what are they fighting about now?" she asked with a grin.

   "Daryl didn't fold the towels right."

   She laughed, clinking her glass with Rick's before taking a sip. "I don't miss those days at all," she told him as she coughed lightly from the alcohol.

   "My wife, Lori, once kicked me out for three days because I tracked mud all over the kitchen floor that she'd just waxed," he told her, smiling off into space as he reminisced. "I almost missed Carl's birth because of it."

   "I'm suddenly feeling better about my own mood swings," she joked as he smiled back at her. 

   "Yeah, it's not really a fun time, is it?" he observed. "All those baby books and magazines, showing those glowy, happy couples lulls you into a false sense of security. Then all of a sudden, you're not speaking, or someone's in a one-sided argument, and the other one has no idea what's going on."

   They continued to chat, talking about their kids as the whiskey flowed. It wasn't until Rick glanced up at the clock and saw that it was after midnight that he put down his glass.

   "I'm sorry I kept you up so late," he apologized, getting to his feet. 

   "No need to apologize," she replied, walking him to the door. "It was nice to have some adult time, and it's not like I sleep a lot, anyway."

   "I don't either," he told her, the smile fading from his face. 

   "If you need anything, please tell me," she said, touching him on the shoulder. 

   "It's just good to have someone other than Daryl to talk to," he said, nodding at her before stepping out onto the porch. "I'll see you tomorrow."

   Gina watched him make his way down the street, and she kept an eye on him to make sure he got back to the house. Once he was out of sight, she shut the door, heading up to her room. She thought about Rick while she waited to fall asleep. They'd begun spending more time together since he was accompanying her on runs, and he was still working through his grief over Michonne's death. It put things in perspective for her, and she decided to talk to the council to see if they could give him more responsibility. 

   He hadn't asked for anything since he arrived, and he'd seemed content to just help out wherever needed, but he was a good leader, and they could use his expertise. There was no sign of the group that had attacked his community and the Hilltop, but Gina had the distinct feeling that they hadn't seen the last of them. 

 

   Blinking rapidly, she came back to the present. Negan and Casey were long gone, and Michael was still sitting patiently in his seat. Scolding herself, she got moving, hustling to work to get her job done. She looked anxiously at the clock, and when it was time to leave, she carried him home, excitement building in her stomach as she planned what to wear for her date.


	64. Chapter 64

  
   "Mom, why are you all dressed up?"

   Casey was looking up at Gina as she came down the steps in black leather pants and a gold sweater. Her hair was styled and she was wearing makeup. Straightening her top, she hit the ground floor and tousled Casey's hair.

   "I'm having a friend over for dinner," she told her as she carried Michael into the living room, sitting him on his play mat.

   "Who?"

   The tone of her voice was so much like Negan's that she did a double take.

   "You know the new man who came a few days ago? John?"

   Casey nodded her head, running her hands along the shiny material.

   "Well, I invited him over since he's new and he doesn't know anyone."

   "Is it a date?"

   She looked mildly upset, but not overtly so. Gina didn't want to lie to her, but she also didn't want to cause any future issues. Besides, it was only a dinner.

   "It's just dinner, bug. I want him to feel welcome. You understand that, don't you?"

   "I guess so."

  
   Gina pulled her to the couch, letting her sit on her lap. She rubbed Casey's back as they watched the baby.

   "Tell me what's on your mind, honey."

   Casey's lips trembled as tears threatened to fall down her face.

   "I just want you and daddy to be together. I was happier when we were a family."

   Gina's heart throbbed with pain. Even in the apocalypse, a broken home sucked. Michael rocked back and forth as he tried to move his legs, his toes curling up as he grunted in frustration.

   "We're still a family, Casey. We just aren't all in the same house anymore. I love you and so does daddy."

   "Don't you love him anymore?" she asked, and Gina wiped a tear from her face, wrapping her in her arms.

   "I'll always love him." It was the truth and it hurt.

   "Then why can't you make up?"

   "Because I need to be on my own. I know it's hard to understand. But even when two people love each other, it doesn't always mean they're right for each other."

   Gina struggled to think of a way to help her understand.

   "You know how you love candy necklaces?" she said, and Casey nodded her head. "Well, they're not good for you if that's all you eat. It's kind of like that in a way. It's just not good for me to be with dad."

   Her brows furrowed as she tried to link the two examples together. "You mean you get a stomach ache if you have too much of him?"

  _You have no idea_ , she thought.

   Gina couldn't help but laugh. "Yes, bug. I get a sort of a stomach ache." She grew serious, giving Casey a tight squeeze. "I know your dad is probably sad right now, but it will get better. He'll be happier soon, I'm sure of it."

   She didn't look convinced, but the doorbell rang, and Casey climbed down from her lap, running over to answer it. Gina got up, grabbing their overnight bags before picking Michael up and strapping him in his carrier. When she brought him over to the door, Negan was looking at her, and he seemed irritated as he took in her appearance.

   "May I speak to you for a minute?" he asked and she pointed to the kitchen, telling Casey to keep an eye on the baby. He was leaning against the counter when she walked in, and she positioned herself across from him, crossing her arms.

   "I thought we were going to keep this pleasant and uncomplicated for Casey?" he questioned as she raised her eyebrows.

   "I don't know what you mean," she responded.

   "You couldn't have waited to change until after we left?"

   "I won't have time," she answered, trying not to get angry. "She knows I have plans. It sounds like you're the one with the problem."

   His eyes hardened, and he took a deep breath before he answered.

   "I can't believe you've moved on already. It's only been a month."

   As soon as the words left his mouth, he looked like he wanted to pluck them out of the air and stuff them back in. Gina laughed before straightening up and taking a few steps towards him. "Did you really just say that? Because if you'd like to go there, I'll gladly join you on that train of thought."

   "I didn't mean-"

   She held up her hand, stopping him. "I don't want to fight with you, Negan. Aren't you tired of all this? Aren't you ready to just be done with it?"

  
   He didn't answer her, and she blinked slowly. Something occurred to her right then, and it stung.

   "You didn't think anyone would ever be interested in me, did you? You thought I'd spend the rest of my life alone, pining over you?"

   Focusing on him, she saw that he was shaking his head in denial. "I'm not the same person I was a year and a half ago. I said I couldn't have a life without you, but I was wrong. And you forced me into it. I don't know if you're resisting this because no one's ever refused you before, or if you thought you could just keep blindsiding me and I'd just keep taking it. But if you really loved me like you claimed to, you'd understand that I just want to be happy. And this is what I need to be happy."

   "I do love you," he said, his hand closing into a fist, and she took a step back. "I'll always love you." Gina could see the pain in his eyes, and she could feel the emotion in his voice, and it made her sad, deep down in her soul. If he could have just realized this two months ago, they wouldn't be in this position.

   "Then let me go," she pleaded, her voice catching in her throat, and her eyes closed again. He didn't respond, but she felt his lips as they brushed her temple, and she could smell him, that Negan scent. He left her standing there, and she heard the door close a moment later as she tried to get herself together.

   A week before, she'd been in her office, going over the recent pickup from the Kingdom. They'd been light on their food supplies because of an insect infestation at the end of summer, and she'd negotiated with them for extra food in the coming year. Since they were struggling, she and Rick had brought them an extra truck full of fish and crab, and King Ezekiel had been grateful, thanking them and making them promise to call if they needed extra workers for their boats. Rick had made arrangements for a half a dozen men to come during the winter since the bass was plentiful.

  There was a knock on the door, and she called out for whoever it was to enter, her head bent down over the desk as she wrote furiously.

   "Gina?"

   She recognized Devin's voice, and she waved him in with one hand, not looking up as she continued to write down numbers.

   "I have someone I'd like you to meet," he said, and she finally glanced toward the door, startled as she saw there was another man with him. He was tall, and he was covered in dirt and grime, but he was cheerfully smiling, with bright, white teeth.

   Devin showed him in, and they each took a seat as she closed her ledger, opening up another one that housed vital information about every resident in Reedville.

   "This is John," he told her, and the man extended his hand, shaking hers with a strong grip. His hands were warm and calloused, and hers was dwarfed by his. When he let go, she had dark smudges on her skin, and she reached into her desk for Michael's diaper wipes, taking one for herself and handing the pack to him.

   "Sorry about that," he said sheepishly and she shook her head. He had a deep, baritone voice, and it was strangely calming.

   "Not a problem," she assured him as he took one, wiping his fingers carefully. "You look like you've been on the road a while."

   "Yes, ma'am," he answered, and she shuddered internally at being addressed in such a manner.

   "Please just call me Gina," she said, smiling politely.

   "I found John about an hour outside of Ophelia," Devin explained as she cocked her head to the side.

   "I wasn't aware we were venturing out that far," she replied as he shifted in his seat.

   "We normally don't, but Clinton wanted to see if there were any areas that we could scout, and we did find quite a few new spots that we can scavenge from."

   Gina pulled out another book, writing down information as he explained it to her. Once they were done he resumed his story.

   "John was trapped in a Rite Aid that was surrounded by walkers."

   "You're a pretty big guy," Gina observed, glancing over at Michael, who rolled over in his playpen. "How'd you end up trapped?"

   "We got caught in a herd," he said, balling up the wet cotton wipes in his fist. Gina lifted up her waste basket and he tossed them in, getting nothing but net. "I was with a small group, about five strong, and we got surrounded on all sides while we were moving through the area."

   "I'm sorry," she murmured, and he nodded his head.

   "Thanks," he told her as Devin stood up.

   "I'll leave you to it, just call me when you're done," he said, patting John on the shoulder as he made his way to the door. Gina studied him for a moment, tapping her pencil on the desk while he waited, smiling.

   He had what she assumed was dark blonde hair, but there was a layer of dirt and muck on top of it. It was long, about shoulder length, and he had it tied back at the base of his neck. John was fit, and there was muscle upon muscle bulging out of his shirt. He had dark blue eyes and a strong jaw. All in all, he was a very attractive man, and she stared for perhaps a little too long. He cleared his throat, and she blinked twice, nearly snapping the pencil in half.

   "Sorry," she muttered, "I zoned out for a second."

   "It's not a problem."

   "So," she continued, looking down at her ledger, "how long were you with your group?"

   "About six months or so," he told her. "I'm afraid I've been bouncing around since the start."

   "And where were you in the beginning?"

   "I was in Baltimore, where I worked."

   "What did you do for a living?" Her pencil was moving across the page as she tried to record everything he was saying.

   "I was an athletic trainer. I worked for the football team."

   "The Ravens?" she asked, looking up with curiosity.

   "You were a football fan?" He was grinning from ear to ear.

   "I watched a few games in my day," she said, smiling back. He seemed to perk up as he crossed his legs, resting his right ankle on his knee.

   "I was recruited out of college. Bounced around from team to team until I tore my ACL, so my career was short lived. I went back to school and got my degree, and it kept me around the sport."

   "Wow," she muttered, sitting back slightly.

   "I enjoyed it," he replied, looking over her shoulder out the window.

   "And where were you when everything happened?"

   "I was at the training facility. We were told to shelter in place, so I stuck around. A lot of the guys decided to take their chances since they wanted to get home to their families."

   "You didn't want to get home to yours?" she prodded.

   "I didn't have anyone to get home to," he said, his voice dropping off at the end. "I was single, and my parents were across the country."

   "I'm sorry," she said again, looking down at the ledger as she jotted a few notes.

   "It was fewer people to mourn," John mused, still staring out the window. "I traveled so much, I didn't really have time for a relationship."

   Michael let out a cry, and she set the pencil down, swiveling in her chair to pick him up. Bouncing him on her knee, she turned back around, and John was smiling again.

   "He's a handsome devil," he told her, wiggling his fingers as the baby tried to grab the papers. "It's a trip seeing kids running around again."

   "We're blessed around here," she admitted. "We've got a strong group here, and we're expanding at a good clip."

   Michael let out a squeal as if in agreement, and John chuckled. It was a deep, rich sound, and she felt a warmth in her stomach when she heard it, disturbing her somewhat.

   "So, the groups you've been with," she said, trying to get herself back on track. "None of them had permanent settlements?"

   "We did for about three months or so, but we were overrun by a large group of deadies. It was a small gated community, but they ended up knocking the fences over and only a few of us made it out."

   She was going to apologize for a third time, but she didn't want to sound like an idiot, so she wrote his words down, dodging Micheal's pudgy fingers as he battled with her for the pencil. Reaching down into his playpen, she fished out a set of plastic keys, and he forgot about everything on the desk, shoving them into his mouth.

   They continued to talk for another hour, and she got a feel for this new man. He was thirty-one, and grew up on the west coast, projecting a laid-back vibe. Gina trusted Devin's judgement, and she radioed him to come back to the office.

   "If you're interested in staying, we'd be glad to have you," she told him as they both stood up. "Devin can get you placed in a house, and we'll get you some supplies. He's the one that usually places people on jobs, so we can figure out where your strengths lie, and line you up with something. Unfortunately, until we get that sussed out, I'm afraid we won't be able to provide you with any weapons."

   "I understand completely," he assured her, stretching his arms over his head to loosen them up. His shirt lifted up, and she could see muscles rippling on his stomach. She looked away abruptly, hoisting Michael higher on her hip. "You don't know me from Adam, and I'd probably do the same in your position."

   "I'll check on you once you get settled, and if you need anything between now and then, you can get with myself, Devin, or Clinton. Our other main contact is Trevor, but he's usually out on one of the boats."

   John shook his head in wonder, almost overwhelmed. "It's almost unbelievable how smoothly you guys have things running here."

   "Well, it takes a village. Literally."

   Devin knocked twice before opening the door and shaking John's hand.

   "Welcome aboard," he said, clapping him on the back. John waved goodbye before winking at Michael, and the two men left her office. Gina stood there, lost in thought until she felt a tug on her hair, bringing her back to reality.

   They'd had a half a dozen people join their community since the spring, but John was by far the most interesting one to walk through their gates.

   The next day, she bumped into John on her way to the office, and she had to do a double-take, very nearly not recognizing him. He'd cleaned up, and his hair was shinier than hers, glistening in the sun. He'd left it loose, and it was blowing in the wind. He looked like how she'd imagined a Norse god would appear, and her mind immediately pictured him half-undressed carrying a spear.

   Mortified, she plastered a smile on her face, and he walked alongside her as she headed towards the marina.

   "Good morning," she said, hoping her cheeks weren't turning pink.

   "It is a beautiful morning," he answered, looking around the street as they moved towards the water. "I had the best sleep of my life probably, last night. I slept so soundly that I woke up not knowing where in the hell I was," he joked as she grinned. They passed a few residents, and she introduced him to the men and women who were staring at him openly. She wasn't sure if it was because he was new, or because he looked so intimidating.

   "Where's your little guy?" he asked as they got to the warehouse, and she stopped to face him. "Is he with your husband?"

   "He's with his father," she replied. "We're not together anymore."

    _Why the fuck did she tell him that?_

   "Oh, man, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to pry."

   "You didn't," she said awkwardly. "It happens."

   They stood there in silence until Devin came towards them from the docks, talking animatedly with Trevor who had just returned from a trip. When he saw them, he waved, walking over towards them. Trevor followed behind, and Gina introduced them before excusing herself to go to her office. The whole way there, she cursed herself out in her head.

   Over the next few days, she saw John several times, and he told her that he was going to be going on runs with Clinton, starting on the next trip in two days. Since he was large and obviously good at surviving out in the elements, Devin thought he'd be a perfect fit for the scavenging team. She congratulated him and noted everything in the ledger as he sat across from her.

   "If you're free tomorrow night, I'd be happy to make you dinner."

   The words flew out of her mouth before she could even comprehend what she was doing, and to her surprise, he looked delighted.

   "That would be great. Where and what time?"

   "I'm in the large Victorian halfway up the street. It's the gray one. If you'd like to come by about six-thirty, I'll have something whipped up."

   "It's a date," he told her as he stood up, giving her a toothy grin before walking out. Gina sat there stunned for a moment, her stomach churning wildly. She had no idea what possessed her to do it, but the longer she thought about it, the more the seeds of excitement grew. She was a free woman, and life was short. Hell, she could die tomorrow before she even got to have dinner with him.

   Which was how she found herself fixing a full meal for the two of them, rushing around the kitchen like a mad woman, throwing food into dishes and setting the table.

   At exactly six-thirty, there was a series of knocks on the door, and she took a deep breath, pushing her fingers on the spot above her heart before she walked to the door.

   Opening it up, John was standing there in a gray sweater and black trousers. His hair was pulled back, and he looked like he just walked off of a movie set or something. He was way too good looking, she decided at that moment, and his smile faltered as he noticed the expression on her face.

   Snapping herself out of it, she welcomed him in, and he looked around quickly before entering.

   "Is everything okay?" he asked as she shut the door behind him. "You looked upset there for a second."

   "Hmm? Oh, no, everything is fine," Gina said, trying to come up with a lie. "I was just worried that I didn't make enough food."

   "Trust me, when you live on one can of outdated vegetables a day, you learn to make do," he joked.

   "Well, we have more than just vegetables," she told him, leading him into the dining room. He pulled out her seat for her, and she put the napkin on her lap as he took his own seat. She set the table so that neither one of them would be sitting in Negan's old spot, and she took a sip of wine before offering him some fresh fish.

   "I hope you like seafood," she told him as he let her serve herself first. "It's plentiful around here, obviously."

   "I grew up on the coast," he reminded her with a deep laugh, and she felt like lightning struck her in the belly. "It would be sacrilege, to refuse such a feast."

   "I wouldn't call it a feast until you try it," she said as she handed him the serving spoon. "Even after all this time, I'm still trying to figure out new recipes for fish. I mean, how many different ways can you cook it, honestly?"

   "You'd be surprised, with the right ingredients," he told her, adding a large piece to his plate. "In fact, I'll be glad to cook you a dish whenever I get back."

   "Deal," she agreed, passing him some mashed potatoes. They ate slowly, talking animatedly between bites. Gina was able to forget his looks as she focused on his stories, and he ended up being quite witty. They talked mostly about the time before the walkers, and he shared several stories with her about the teams he worked with, and she asked several questions, trying to deduce which player he was describing.

   The food was long gone when she told him about her kids, and he listened attentively as she filled him in on Casey. She wondered briefly if he was taken aback about her having another child, but it didn't seem to affect him. When she told him about how her parents died, he had almost the exact same reaction as Negan had, and it threw her a little.

   Recovering, she told him to relax, but he insisted on helping her with the dishes, and he loaded up almost everything in his arms, carrying into the kitchen.

   "I have to say, I'm impressed you managed to do that in one trip."

   "I waited tables while I was in college," he told her, and his eyes were glowing as he stood next to her, drying the dishes as she washed them.

   "You're so normal," she blurted out, freezing as she looked up at him. He appeared confused as he continued to dry the plate in his hand, and she was beyond embarrassed.

   "I'm sorry," she said immediately. "I just meant for being out there so long. Usually, when we get new people, they're kind of out of it. Shell shocked, I guess."

   "I've learned to adapt," he said after a moment, and she resumed washing the dishes. "Trust me, this all still doesn't feel real to me, I'm just really good at hiding it."

   Neither one talked until the last dish was put away, and she took their glasses into the living room. John sat down next to her on the couch, and they each took a sip. Her heart had started to speed up, and she wasn't sure if anything was going to happen between them until she set the glass down. His large hand tucked itself gently under her chin and he leaned over, kissing her softly on the lips.

   "That felt real," he murmured, gazing down at her as she tried to keep her breathing even. He leaned in again, and this time, she put her arms around his neck, opening her mouth. It felt both right and wrong, and her heart fought with the rest of her body as he leaned her back towards the arm of the couch. They didn't do anything more than kiss, and when he finally sat up, they were both breathing heavily.

   "I'd better go," he told her, standing up and helping her to her feet. John held her hand as she went with him to the door, and before he opened it, he kissed it softly before leaning in and doing the same to her cheek.

   "I'll see you when I get back," he said, and she nodded with a smile, closing the door behind him. As soon as he was out of sight, she burst into tears.


	65. Chapter 65

  
   Gina was up early the next morning, and she felt like she'd been hit by a truck. After John left, she'd had a mini-breakdown, crying like she'd just lost her best friend. In all truth, she had, and kissing another man was the final nail in the coffin. It was officially over, at least in her eyes. 

   The fact that she'd enjoyed it was another upsetting realization. Negan had been the only man in her life for years, and it was the longest relationship she'd ever had. Visions of the future that she'd conjured up in her mind for them were gone. Holding hands as they watched the sunset, sending their kids off into the world, even getting old and gray together. It wasn't a possibility anymore, and she sat next to the door, letting all of the emotion out. 

   When she was all cried out, she picked herself up off of the floor and went to bed, staring out at the moon for most of the night. As the night turned into day, she decided to do something that she hadn't done in months. She went for a run. 

   The air was bitingly cold, and she pulled on gloves as she stepped off of the porch. After stretching her muscles, she started off at a slow jog, running up and down the street twice before picking up the pace. Her body was screaming in protest, but she continued to push it until she passed by Daryl and Talia's and he motioned for her to come in. She was sweaty and red-faced when she collapsed at the dining room table, startling Rick, who was hunched over a cup of coffee. 

   "You were running?" he asked in a thick, sleep-laden voice.

   "No, I was swimming, dipshit," she joked as he rolled his eyes. "It felt great. I can't believe I've put this off for so long. You should try it."

   "I'll pass," he said, taking a sip of coffee. 

   Talia came waddling into the room, sitting down carefully as Gina stood up to help her, and Daryl reappeared with a cup of coffee for her and water for Talia. 

   "Contractions are gettin' steady," he told her, handing her the blue mug. 

   "Finally," she retorted, ducking her head from Talia's extended arm. "How far apart?"

   "They're still irregular," Talia told her, rubbing the top of her stomach. 

   "Sex and walking. That's what Dr. Thomas recommends," Gina told her before taking a sip. Daryl's face turned red, and Rick let out a coughing laugh before dropping his face back towards the table. She continued drinking nonchalantly before Daryl sat down next to Talia, rubbing her arm until Talia shook him off of her. It was Gina's turn to hide her face, and she exchanged a glance with Rick, who stood up and excused himself to get dressed.

   When she looked back up, Daryl was watching her with a grin that made her supremely uneasy, and she sensed that she was about to pay for something.

   "How was your date last night?"

   Gina let out a choking cough as Talia's eyes narrowed, first at her and then at Daryl, who was coming to the realization that he hadn't thought it all through. 

   "You had a date last night?" she parrotted before punching Daryl on the arm, "and you knew about it and didn't tell me?"

   "What are ya hittin' me for?" he protested as she punched him again. 

   "Don't you think that's the exact kind of thing I'd want to know?"

   "It wasn't my place to say anything," he snapped, rubbing his arm as he scooted slightly away from her. 

   "But it was your place to say it now?" Talia asked, snapping the cap off of her bottle. 

   They were so focused on each other that Gina thought she might be able to get out of this conversation unscathed, but as she went to rise, Talia pointed her finger at her, motioning for her to stay, and Gina flashed back to Mrs. Nixon's class in seventh grade, when she got caught cheating on a science test and they called her father in. Twenty years later, and she had the exact same feeling in the pit of her stomach, and she kicked at Daryl's leg under the table.

   Talia turned to face her, and Gina flinched slightly as her sister used her 'getting the info' face. 

   "Who did you go out with?"

   "I didn't go out with anyone. I just had dinner with that new guy, John."

   Talia's eyebrow went up, and Daryl smirked at her until Talia punched him again, but this time much softer. "He asked you out?"

   "I invited him over for dinner," she huffed with exasperation. "It was just dinner." Gina gave Daryl a dirty look, but he didn't give one back, afraid to get another punch. "How did you know, anyway?"

   "How do ya think?"

   "Why would he tell you about that?" Her voice went a few octaves higher, and Talia shushed her. 

   "I dunno," Daryl admitted, shrugging his shoulders. "It the only thing he said all day while we were workin'."

   "Gina," Talia said, trying to get her attention. 

   "What?" 

   She crossed her arms, slamming herself back into the wooden chair. It hurt, but she didn't react. 

   "It's only been a month," Talia said, but Gina stopped her in her tracks. 

   "I know exactly how long it's been. I know better than anyone. I'm not running off and marrying this guy. I just had dinner. Am I not allowed to have dinner with other people now?"

   Gina didn't realize how loud she'd gotten until Rick stuck his head into the dining room. "Is everything all right?"

   Talia ignored him. "No one said you couldn't have dinner with other people. I'm just worried that you're moving too fast in the other direction."

   "I'm not moving in any direction," she said plaintively, looking at the coffee cup. "I just met a guy, thought he was nice, and asked him to dinner."

   "Did you kiss him?"

   Out of the corner of her eye, she saw that Rick was staring at her, and she took a deep breath. "He kissed me. But that's all that happened."

   "Gina..."

   "Talia, I really don't want to talk about this. I'm a grown woman, and if I'm capable enough to help run this town, I'm capable enough to make decisions about my private life."

   Talia stood up, and approached Gina, pulling her out of her seat. "We'll be back," she told Daryl, and they walked past Rick who moved out of their way before going into the dining room. She followed Talia up the steps and into her bedroom. Talia sat down with a groan, lifting her feet and curling up on her side, facing the opposite side of the bed. She patted the mattress, and Gina crawled on the other side, resting her head on the pillow.

   Countless nights were spent in this same position growing up, gossiping about boys and talking about their plans for the future. There was safety in a bed with her sister, and Gina could feel the cracks beginning to give way in her bravado. 

   "Tell me what happened, Gigi," she demanded softly. 

   The dam broke once again, and she managed to get the story out between shuddering sobs, letting Talia stroke her hair. Neither one said anything for a while, and when Gina spoke, it was with a scratchy voice. 

   "Even though I hate him, I don't want anyone else to, and I don't want everyone to know what happened."

   "I had a feeling that was what was going on," Talia murmured, meeting Gina's eyes. 

   "You did?"

   "I did," she said with a sigh. "I knew that would be the one thing you couldn't get over, and I don't blame you. Lord knows I'd be the same way."

   "But Daryl would never do that to you," she said, and she could see in Talia's face that she knew it was true. Gina felt very tired, then. Tired in her body and soul, and she was weary of thinking about it anymore. Annabeth was gone, but Negan was still here, and she didn't know if she could ever look at him without thinking of the two of them together. The only thing that could heal her was time, and John was a nice distraction, and she mentioned as much.

   "He's a nice-looking guy," Talia told her with a smile, but it only lasted a moment. "But he can't take away the pain, you know that."

   "I know," Gina replied. "But it helps to know that someone, somewhere, thinks I'm attractive."

   They looked into each other's eyes, and Gina noticed that Talia was wincing slightly. She was having a contraction, and she held Talia's hand, encouraging her through it. 

   "Enough about me, for fuck's sake. You've got your own stuff going on. The baby's coming," she stated with a grin. 

   "Don't remind me," Talia groaned, rubbing her hip when Gina let her hand go. "I'm worried about the delivery."

   "You're going to do great, and I want you to call me if you need anything."

   After a few more minutes, Gina got up regretfully to begin her day. She waved goodbye to Daryl and Rick, and headed back to her house to get ready. Negan arrived just as she was walking down the steps, and she sent Casey up to get her school bag, taking Michael and planting a big kiss on his head. 

  "Thanks," she told him, and he just waved goodbye before walking down the porch steps and heading towards the gates. Part of her was relieved, and the other was surprised that he didn't say anything. He moved swiftly, and she thought that she saw some of the swagger back in his step. 

   Casey came rushing down the stairs, and they walked towards Tina's house.

   "How was your night?" Gina asked, and Casey gave her a big smile.

   "It was good. We ate dinner and watched a movie. Oh, and Michael said 'dada'."

   "What?" She looked at the baby, holding him up. "You said your first word, little boy?"

   "Yeah," Casey told her excitedly. "Daddy was really surprised. We kept making him say it over and over."

   Gina got a lump in her throat, and she put her arm around Casey. It sucked that she missed such an important milestone, but she was happy for Negan that he got to experience it. Whatever his faults were as a partner, he was a good dad. She dropped her daughter off, and took Michael to the office, holding him in her lap as she tried to get him to talk.

   "Dada," she said, shaking his hips as he laughed. After trying for a few minutes, she gave up with a sigh, setting him down and pulling out her ledgers. She ended up leaving early for the day, taking Michael home and cleaning the house while he slept. Casey was helping her with the dinner dishes when her radio crackled to life, and she picked it up after wiping her hands off.

   "We're heading over to Dr. Thomas now," Daryl said, and she answered back quickly. 

   "So soon?"

   "Yeah, she's already three minutes apart. It's happening really fast."

   "I'll be there as soon as I can," she told him, finishing at record speed. She told Casey to get some pajamas on, and she changed Michael into his sleeper before shepherding them out the door. Ten minutes later, she was knocking on Negan's door, and he answered it, looking at her cagily as she stood there.

   "My sister's having the baby," she told him, and he closed the door slightly, stepping out into the porch. "Can you take the kids?"

   "Uh, now's not a really good time," he said, and his voice was apologetic. 

   He had company. 

   "Right," she muttered, giving him a brilliant smile. "I'll get Tina to do it. Thanks anyway."

   "I'm sorry," he called out. "If you give me fifteen minutes, I can come and get them."

   "Don't worry about it. Enjoy your night."

   Her skin was tingling as she put the kids back in the car, and she felt sick. She had no reason to be upset, yet she wanted to vomit. It would be hypocritical for her to condemn him for doing the exact same thing she was, but the thought of him with yet another woman caused her to almost come undone. She made it back to the main peninsula in record time, rushing Casey to Tina's and ringing her doorbell.

   When Tina answered, Gina hurriedly told her what was happening, and she readily took both kids, telling her to go. Gina's legs were shaking as she jogged towards the doctor's, and one tear managed to escape her eye, but she wiped it off quickly before walking in.


	66. Chapter 66

**Talia**

  
   The pain in the small of her back was brutal, and Talia turned to her side, begging Daryl to rub it for her. While she took deep breaths, he moved his knuckles in small circles, digging in as much as he dared to. As the contraction ebbed away, she let out a ragged breath. 

   "God, I wish I could have an epidural," she moaned, unclenching her hands. There were small, moon-shaped marks in her palms from her nails, and her fingers were aching. Every part of her body was hurting, and Talia cursed Daryl under her breath.

   "We're never doing this again," she vowed, turning her head to look at him. When she was shot in the chest, it was a burning, stinging, throbbing pain that took her breath away. But it was confined to one part of her body. This, this was all over, and it was sapping her energy. 

   Two quick knocks punctuated the air and Dr. Thomas opened the door, appraising her quickly before sitting down by her feet. "Let's have a quick look, okay?"

   Talia rolled onto her back, spreading her legs so that he had access to feel around. Daryl smoothed the hair back that was stuck to her forehead, and she looked up at the ceiling, taking deep breaths through her nose as he poked around inside her.

   "You're almost nine centimeters dilated," he told her, lowering her legs back onto the table as another contraction started. She pulled her knees up, clasping Daryl's hand as he murmured in her ear, trying to distract her. 

   "You're doing so great," he said, kissing her on the cheek as she squeezed her eyes as tight as they could go, causing white spots to flicker in the darkness. "I love you so much."

   When the pain subsided, her entire body unclenched and she went limp, panting heavily. "How much longer?" she asked, and Dr. Thomas came up on the other side of the bed, feeling her pulse.

   "It can be anywhere from thirty minutes to 90 minutes, depending on how close together they are. From the looks of your readout, I'd estimate we'll be having you push by the top of the hour. "

   Talia nodded tiredly, and she reached up her arms so that the men could help her up.When she got to a seated position, the next contraction came, and she doubled over, completely zoned out and whimpering.

   As she was coming out of it, Dr. Thomas leaned down into her face, and she was in some sort of daze."Talia, your sister is here. Would you like to see her?"

   "Yes," she whispered, becoming teary. "Yes, please."

   Dr. Thomas had an understanding look on his face, and he patted her gently on the shoulder. "I'll bring her in."

   After he stepped out, she climbed off of the table, walking in circles as she tried to visualize the birth being done. It worked for a few minutes until the roughest part of the contraction hit, and she got down on her hands and knees, head bent down towards the floor. Feeling like a dog, she put her head down further, stretching her spine as the door opened, and a second later, she felt gentle hands pulling her hair back. 

   "Hey," Gina whispered, squatting down next to her.

   "Gigi, it hurts," she panted, rocking forward as the throbbing continued. 

   "I know it does," her sister commiserated, putting her hair in a bun and wrapping a rubber band around it. "You're doing great, and there's a light at the end of the tunnel. Dr. Thomas told me that you're almost there."

   "I look like a fool down here."

   "Fuck what you look like," Gina told her, resting her knees on the tile. "It only matters what makes you comfortable, and if crawling around on the floor helps, do it."

   Reaching back, Gina took the small cup of water from Daryl's hand, holding it to Talia's lips so that she could take a drink. Her throat was parched, and it barely made a dent in the thirst that was wracking her system. She asked for more, but Daryl took the cup back. 

   "Ya can't, angel," he said apologetically. "As soon as the baby comes, you can drink a gallon of it, I promise."

   The tightening increased again, and she moaned into Gina's shoulder, swearing allegiance to God or the devil, whichever one stopped the pain. When it backed off again, she sat back on her legs, rolling her neck in circles to loosen it. 

   "Help me up," she asked, breathless as the two of them got her to her feet. It was pitch dark, and she leaned against the cool, glass panes, letting the chill seep into her cheek and shoulder. The baby moved restlessly, and she knew it was going through as much of an upheaval as she was. They'd elected not to find out the sex, but visions of little boys that looked like Daryl danced through her head throughout the pregnancy.

   There was another knock on the door, and Rick peeked in to check on them. Talia gave him a tired smile, and he offered a sympathetic look. 

   "How's it going?" he asked Daryl, who stepped out of the room to update him. 

   After the next contraction, she let Gina help her up onto the bed, and Talia turned to her side as Gina massaged her lower back. 

   "Where are the kids?" she asked, closing her eyes during the brief lull.

   "Tina has them," Gina said in a chipper voice. Too chipper.

   She would have pressed the issue, but her stomach began to tighten again, and she bit her lip, counting the seconds until it dissipated. Daryl came back in the room, and Gina excused herself, leaving the two of them alone. 

   "Where's Rick?" she questioned in a tired voice, lifting her head to take another tiny sip of water. 

   "He's waitin' in the living room."

   Talia rolled over to face the other side, and she took him by the hand as he looked at her with a rare tender expression.

   "I'm glad he's here for you."

   "He ain't just here for me," he reminded her. 

   "I know that," she replied. "But you guys have been together since the beginning. It's almost unheard of anymore, and I know how much he means to you."

   "Yeah," Daryl muttered, trying to keep it cool. "He's as much a brother to me as Merle was."

   And now their family was expanding once again. Rick had offered to move into another house as they got closer to the end of the pregnancy, but Talia wouldn't hear of it. The house that they'd been put in was huge, housing over five bedrooms, so he, Carl, Judith, the baby and Daryl and Talia had their own space. Plus, she'd gotten used to having so many people in the house, and it was a nice change. They had privacy whenever they wanted it, and the kids seemed to like the house and the dock. 

   Dr. Thomas came in to check her, and after another examination, he declared her fully dilated. His nurse, Heather, entered the room with a big smile, and she helped Talia get into position. Daryl held her left leg, and Heather held the right as Dr. Thomas got his stool, sitting down below her. 

   "Okay, Talia, I want you to push when the next contraction starts. We're going to do it for a count of ten."

   She nodded her head, and when the pain started, she pushed, bearing down on her lower body, grunting softly. He told her to stop, and she took a deep breath as Daryl kept watch. 

   "Okay, let's go again," Dr. Thomas told her, and she pushed as hard as she could, feeling the pressure increase between her pelvis. It felt like she was going to either snap in half or shit herself to death, she wasn't sure which.

   "Please," she begged, gripping her knees as another wave of pain began. 

   "Keep pushing," he urged her, counting to ten again. "The baby is crowning."

   Taking a deep breath, she pushed with all the energy she could muster, letting out a yelp as the pressure became unbearable, and she honestly thought that her bones were going to crack open. She could see Daryl looking at her fearfully out of the corner of her eye, but she focused on the doctor, who told her to relax.

   "The head is out," he said, his hands moving rapidly between her legs as she wiped the sweat off of her forehead. Heather released her leg, grabbing a suction ball off of the tray of supplies and planting it in Dr. Thomas's hands. With deft movements, he cleaned the baby's airway and handed it back to Heather.

   "Okay, we're going to do another big push, and your baby should be out. One, two, three."

   The baby slid out, and the agonizing pain lessened to a more bearable throbbing. Talia watched with half opened eyes as he held the baby up. 

   "Congratulations," Dr. Thomas told them. "You have a daughter."

   He placed the slimy, goopy bundle on her chest, and she looked down in amazement as the baby let out a wail, her legs scrunched against her belly. Heather began to clean her off, and she glanced up to see Daryl wiping his eyes. They had a daughter, and she took a shuddering breath, moving the baby up closer to her face.

   "Hey, baby," she cooed, surprised when her eyes looked up at her, almost in confusion. "Mama's here."

   Daryl reached out finally, placing his hand on the baby's head, and she could see that he was shaking slightly. "Daddy's here, too," she murmured, and he leaned down, kissing Talia softly on the lips. 

   Heather took the baby a few minutes after Dr. Thomas cut the cord, and he finished the delivery. Daryl left her side to watch as the nurse did an examination, and the baby continued to cry as she suffered the indignities of life. 

   While Talia was getting cleaned up, he took the baby out briefly to see Gina and Rick, and when he returned, she was reclining on the bed in a fresh gown. He put the baby back in her arms, and she was able to finally get a good look at their daughter. She had soft brown fuzz on her head, and her eyes were a dark blue, much like Michael's were at the beginning. They were also close to Daryl's shade, and she hoped that they didn't turn brown like hers.

   Her little pink face had pudgy cheeks, and her lips were shaped like her own. She recognized the cupid's bow on her upper lip and the way they turned down in the corners. The tears that she'd held back finally bubbled to the surface, and her vision blurred as she brought the baby to her lips. 

   "How can you love someone so much that you just met?"

   Daryl snuggled his head next to hers, and they watched the baby for a moment before he pulled up a chair and sat down next to her. Dr. Thomas excused himself, and they were left alone, just the three of them.

   "So, what do ya think?" he asked, looking up at her. "Did we decide on a name?"

   "Yes, we did."

   "Do ya want me to bring Rick and your sister in?"

   Talia smiled at him and he got back up. While he was out of the room, she tried to get herself into a more comfortable position, her bottom still stinging from the beating it just took. Heather had placed a frozen pad between her legs to help with the swelling and it was stuck between her legs.

   Gina was the first to enter, and she made a beeline for Talia, kissing her as she started to cry. Rick followed behind her, and he kissed her as well, congratulating her as he gazed down at the baby.

   "She's beautiful," he told her, and Daryl clapped him on the back. 

   "So?" Gina asked, pulling up another chair. "I'm dying to know my niece's name."

   Talia looked to Daryl and nodded, and he grinned like a fool.

   "We decided on Evelyn Rose."

   Rose was their mother's name, and Gina's chin started to quiver as she locked eyes with her sister. "Mom would be so happy," she said in a wavering voice. Talia hoped so, and she shifted Evelyn in her arms, turning her onto her stomach as she laid her on her chest. 

   Rick and Gina stayed for a while, and when Talia's eyes started to close, Daryl took the baby. She wasn't sure when they left, but she woke a few hours later needing to use the bathroom. Daryl was sleeping on the couch that sat in the corner of the room, and the baby was laying in a bassinet. With halting steps, she checked on Evelyn before waddling to the bathroom. Cramps came and went, and she was bleeding pretty well. 

   After washing her hands, she crept back into the room, heaving herself awkwardly onto the bed. 

   "I woulda helped you." 

   She nearly had a heart attack as she glanced over to see Daryl watching her in the dark, the moonlight shining only on his face.

   "You need to sleep," she told him, pulling up the sheet around her waist. "Everything changes from here on out."

   Daryl sat up, taking the blanket off of the table and laying across her body. "You know I don't sleep much anyway. I'd rather you get rest and recover, and you let me worry about gettin' up with her tonight. The doc said you can both go home tomorrow if everything still looks good in the morning."

   Deciding not to look a gift horse in the mouth, she curled up on her side, listening as he got himself settled. It was quiet in the room, and before she drifted off again, she had the urge to tell him one more thing.

   "I love you, Dixon," she murmured with a sigh.

   "I love you, too, angel."


	67. Chapter 67

  
  
**Gina**

 

   Bethany.

   Brown-haired, blue-eyed Bethany. Gina finally knew who Negan was spending his free time with.

   Over the past three weeks, they'd barely interacted, apart from exchanging the kids at her door. The night of Evelyn's birth, he'd had someone with him, and she'd taken the kids to Tina's house instead. Gina pushed the thoughts of him from her mind while she was at the doctor's and tried to give Talia all of her attention.

      It was late when she'd gone home and the house was dark and empty. Throwing herself down on her bed, she'd tossed and turned all night, torturing herself with images of random women in his bed, moaning out his name, and she hated herself for it. He was like a splinter, piercing her heart, and she just kept picking at it and picking at it, unable to let it heal or push itself out.

   John returned the day after the delivery, and he'd stopped in her office just before she left for the day. Gina was ambivalent about seeing him at first when he came in, until yet another imagined woman of Negan's floated through her mind, and she actually shook her head back and forth to clear it.

   "Are you all right?"

   "I'm fine," she told him, putting in much more effort to smile than should be required. "I think my brain is just overflowing with numbers." Closing the ledger she gave him her full attention. "How was the trip?"

   "That Clinton is a hell of a scavenger," John said, drumming his fingers on his knee. "He took us all over the damned county, I think, but we brought back several trucks worth of supplies."

  
   "So you got along with everyone?"

  John smiled, leaning forward to give her a knowing look. "I know I'm still sort of auditioning for this place, Gina." His eyes moved back and forth as he studied her face. "My intentions are good, but you'll see that in time."

   He reached out, placing his hand over hers. "All my intentions."

   She could feel his thumb rub back and forth over the top of her hand, and it made her heart thump. It seemed strangely intimate to her, and she had to fight the urge to pull her hand out from under his.

   "I like you, John," she said quietly, and he squeezed her fingers before letting them go, sitting back in the chair. "We barely know each other, but I like spending time with you. I just want you to know that I'm in a delicate position."

   "How so?"

   Her throat was dry, so she took a sip of water, stalling for time. "My ex-husband and I just broke up about a month ago, so I'm still healing."

   His smile slowly faded as she looked down at her hand, still feeling his touch. "There are some single women here that might be more suited to you."

   When she glanced back up, she could see that he was confused and she stood up, taking the chair next to him so that it didn't feel so formal.

   "I'm not in a rush, Gina, despite how our dinner ended. I thought that you were interested in me. At least I assumed so, by the fact that you asked me out."

   Gina could feel her chest burning, and she took a deep breath. "Like I said, I like you."

   He waited for her to continue. "You're a good-looking guy. Very good looking."

   John's eyebrows rose, and he inclined his head towards her. "I'm not going to lie and say I'm not aware of the fact that I'm handsome. It's served me well throughout my life. But that's not all I am, and it's not all I care about."

   "I didn't mean to imply that," she told him, feeling the burn increase, and she rubbed her chest. "This is coming out all jumbled up. I'm sorry."

   "Listen," he said, standing up and extending his hand towards her. She took it and he pulled her up so that they were facing each other. "I think I understand."

   He put his other hand on top of hers and held it between them. "You've obviously been through a lot, and I don't want to put you in a position that you're uncomfortable with. I'd like to spend time with you, getting to know you, and if you want to keep it platonic for now, that's fine with me."

   Relief permeated her body, and she was able to give him a genuine smile. "I'd like that."

   He let her go, and he took a few steps back. "If you're up for it, I'd very much like to cook you a platonic dinner tomorrow night. Platonically." He was grinning again, and she chuckled.

   "Will it be a fish dinner that will knock my socks off?" she said with a smile of her own. "Platonically, of course."

   "We'll see," he teased, winking at her before walking out of the office.

   Negan brought the kids by just as she was finishing up, and he handed her Michael, their hands brushing as they made the exchange.

   "Hey, about last night," he began but she shook her head.

   "You don't owe me any explanations," she murmured, trying not to get Casey's attention. "What you do and who you do it with is your own business."

   "I know that," he told her. "I just wanted you to know that-"

   "Really," she said, a little more forcefully than she intended, and he frowned at her, his eyes scanning hers. "It's really none of my business."

   Negan shrugged his shoulders before bending down to give Casey and hug and a kiss. He did the same to Michael, and they were face to face briefly, and she held her breath so that she didn't take in his smell, preferring to keep her wits about her. Their eyes met once more, but neither one said anything. The moment was over, and after he walked out, she let out the air that was stuck in her lungs.

   Gina spent the rest of the night working hard not to think of either man, instead throwing herself headlong into enjoying time with the kids. She and Casey worked on a puzzle together while Michael sat with them, and dinner was full of conversation about school and the upcoming holidays. Thanksgiving was fast approaching, and Gina was cooking for Daryl, Talia and Rick's family.

   Clinton was planning on taking a group out hunting for wild turkeys, but if that wasn't successful, they'd bred quite a few chickens, which would have to work in their place. Casey was already making a Christmas list, and they were due to have an organizing session with the town just after the holiday.

   Once she got Michael and Casey bathed, she lit a fire, relaxing with a glass of whiskey. Random thoughts drifted in and out of her head, and she wondered how Talia was settling in, feeling guilty for not stopping over. She made a mental promise to herself to check in the following morning. Thankfully, Talia's delivery had gone much smoother than her own, and she had Daryl and Rick there to pick up the slack.

   The other thought flitting through her head was Thanksgiving dinner. She wasn't sure if she should invite either man to join them. John, because he was new and probably wouldn't have any other options. Negan, because Casey and Michael were his children, and the Alexandria crew were his friends. A second later, she remembered that he'd already made a new friend, and her eyes narrowed. Nope, Negan was out. John was, too.

   Holidays were stressful enough, and she didn't want Casey to get the wrong impression. Hoping to turn her brain off, she went into the study, pulling out a book and curling up on the couch, sipping her whiskey slowly as she read, leaving her worries behind as reread Jane Eyre, stopping only when her eyes started to burn.

   The next morning, she took Casey to school and Michael to work with her. He sat happily in his playpen while she met with Devin and Clinton, going over the supplies that were brought back the previous day. They'd managed to bring back some medications that Dr. Thomas might be able to use, along with tools and more greenhouse materials that could be set up in the spring. All in all, it was a good trip, and Clinton informed her that John had done well.

   Devin seemed pleased, as he always was once a new resident started to fit in. So far, everyone he'd brought back had panned out, and his confidence grew with each new recruit. Clinton also mentioned that Daryl would be coming on the hunting trip, which surprised her. Gina didn't think that he'd be so quick to leave Talia and the baby, but Clinton told her that they'd only be gone for the night.

   He gave her a list of everyone that he was taking, and she marked it in her notes before the two men took off. Michael was sleeping in his crib, and she didn't want to wake him, so Gina continued working until he woke up, feeding him a quick bottle before rounding up Casey from school. She was supposed to have dinner with John, and it was Negan's night to keep the kids, so she packed them a bag and had them sitting by the door while she changed her clothes.

   She dressed casually, since it wasn't technically a date, and once Negan left, she walked to Talia's to check in on them. Rick answered the door, welcoming her in. Talia was sitting on the couch, holding the baby with a look of supreme fatigue.

   "How's the new mama?" she asked, sitting down next to her.

   "Exhausted," Talia replied, her mouth emitting a jaw-cracking yawn.

   "I feel ya, sister," she replied with a grin. "Hi, Evelyn," she cooed, taking the baby when Talia handed her over. The baby was sleeping, and Gina ran her finger down the baby's nose. She was sturdy and healthy, weighing in at a robust 8 pounds and 12 ounces, Daryl told her as she rocked her back and forth.

   Judith came over, and Gina tilted the baby so that she could see her. "New baby," she said, pointing at Evelyn before climbing into Talia's lap. She'd gotten very close with Talia over the last few months, seeking her out whenever she needed cuddles or attention, and Gina felt a pang of sadness for the little girl. She'd lost Lori and Michonne, all within the first few years of her life.

   Tearing her eyes away, she addressed Rick. "I'm thinking we should do another drill, just to be safe. We've got so many little ones around now, we need to be ready at any second."

   "I was actually contemplating that," he mused as he sat down on the floor in front of her, Judith watching him as she leaned her head against Talia's chest. "If it's all right with the council, I'd like to go out and look for some sirens that we can place around the town. Something that can be triggered right away, should we need it."

   Gina nodded her head in agreement. "I don't see a problem with that. Can you take someone with you, though?"

   "I'll take Negan," he told her, giving her an apologetic look, but she brushed it off.

   "Sounds good. Just let me know tomorrow what your plans are. If you guys could go before Clinton goes hunting, that'd be awesome. I'm not really comfortable with so many of you gone at one time, especially since it's been quiet."

   "Yes, ma'am," he said with a grin, and she rolled her eyes. He didn't know it, but she had intentions of getting on the council after the holidays. The baby began to stir, and she gave Evelyn to Talia as Rick took Judith onto his lap. Gina said her goodbyes and walked down to the first house by the gate, the one that John was in.

   Even though her stomach was filled with butterflies, she knocked on the door, waiting nervously until he answered. He was dressed as casually as she was, in jeans and a long sleeved shirt, his hair hanging loose, and he jokingly gave her a high five as she walked in.

   Gina had never been in this house, and she looked around curiously as he slipped back into the kitchen. It was small, with just a combination living room and dining room area. The furnishings were modern, and there were several pictures adorning the wall, all of seascapes and boats. It was homey, and there were scented candles burning on the mantle of the fireplace.

   "You got a good house, I see," she called out as he reappeared with two glasses of wine.

   "I would have been happy with four walls and a bed," he replied, handing her one and motioning for her to sit down.

   "Dinner should be ready in a few," he told her, leaning against the wall as she took a sip.

   "Mmm, this is good," Gina murmured before setting the glass on the side table.

   "We found a ton of bottles when we were on the road," he said, bringing his own glass to his lips. She was struck again by how big he was when his arm flexed, straining against the material of his shirt.

   "It's amazing that you've been able to stay in such good shape, being out on the road so long," she observed, and he got a sheepish grin on his face.

   "During the lean times, I was able to raid the vitamin stores. No one was looking for supplements for the last few years. They kept me going, and I always try to exercise as long as I'm not overdoing it. It's kept me alive this long."

   "I'm impressed," she admitted. "I never would've thought to get that kind of stuff."

   "Like I said, most people probably wouldn't. If I didn't spend my life dealing with athletics, I wouldn't have either."

   He excused himself and she continued to drink the wine as he carried a platter out to the table. Rising quickly, she offered to help, but he told her to seat herself at the dining room table and she complied.

   Two more dishes followed before he sat down across from her, and he lifted the foil off of the platter. There were two large pieces of fish, covered in salsa, and it was steaming.

   "That smells amazing," she told him and he gave her an aw, shucks grin. "My compliments to the chef."

   John reached for her plate, placing a piece on it for her after giving her some roasted corn that he'd made and some pickled vegetables. One of the older residents, Genevieve, had made them, and they were plentiful in the warehouse.

   He watched her as she took a bite of the fish, and she gave him a thumbs up. They talked while they ate, and when they were done, she helped him carry the dishes into his kitchen, which was tiny. He was such a big guy that they were nearly tripping over each other as they negotiated their way around.

   When everything was put away, they sat back down on the couch, though he made no attempt to touch her. The wine was gone when she finally got up to leave, and he offered to walk her back to her house, but she declined. He was right next to the walls, and there were plenty of people on duty.

   "Thank you for dinner," she told him, kissing him quickly on the cheek. He smelled like mint and soap, and when she stepped back, he gave her a sweet smile.

   Over the next couple of weeks, they had dinner a few nights a week, when he wasn't on the road or she wasn't with the kids. John never pressured her to take the next step, and she enjoyed just getting to know him, with no strings attached, until they had the town meeting the day before Thanksgiving.

   Gina went early to the warehouse, leaving Michael and Casey with Tina in the office while she met up with Trevor, Devin, and Clinton. People began to filter in gradually, and they were almost ready to start when Negan came strolling in with a woman. She had only been with their community for a few months, and Gina struggled to recall her name. She was about the same height as her, and she had long brown hair that hung loosely down her back.

   They walked over to two empty seats, sitting side by side as Gina turned away, feeling like she was going to be sick. They never touched each other, but as she climbed the steps to the stage, they had their heads together, talking intensely. As she looked out over the crowd, she saw John watching her, and she gave him a quick smile, trying to get her bearings. John turned his gaze from her to Negan, and he appeared unimpressed.

   "Thanks for coming, everyone," Clinton called out, his voice carrying throughout the large area, and the crowd turned their attention towards him.

   "We'll keep this short and simple so that you can all get home. I know it's starting to snow, so we just wanted to let everyone know that Diane will be hosting a Thanksgiving dinner at her house tomorrow for anyone that's going to be working the evening shift, or who isn't planning on cooking. We were able to hunt down, literally hunt down about two dozen turkeys. Gina's got a list, and anyone who's serving more than five people is eligible to receive one. Everyone else will be able to take chicken, and Diane has portioned vegetables for each family, so please see her before you leave."

   Devin stepped up next, reminding the residents about the drill that was scheduled for the day after. Gina didn't have anything to add, wanting to get everyone their shit so she could get the hell out of there. She felt Negan's eyes on her the entire time, and she had to work to not look at him and his new girlfriend.

   As the group broke apart, she took her list, positioning herself by the door, where the turkeys were set up, already slaughtered and wrapped for cooking. A small line formed, and she marked off each family's name from her list as they passed through. Her own turkey was currently sitting in a brine in the fridge, ready and waiting for the following morning.

   When the last bird was handed out, she started to walk towards the office to get the kids, but Negan was blocking her path, standing with the woman.

   "Hey," he said, holding out his hand to stop her. "I don't know if you remember her, but this is Bethany. She arrived a few months ago."

   "I remember," she said evenly as Bethany held out her hand.

   "It's nice to see you again," Bethany told her, and Gina shook her hand quickly.

   "You, too," she answered, trying to keep her voice pleasant, even though she couldn't feel her legs. "I hope you're settling in."

   "Everyone's been so nice," she told Gina, giving her a gentle smile.

   "Bethany is-" Negan said, but someone called out Gina's name, and she nearly started to cry in gratitude.

   "I'm sorry, will you excuse me?" she replied, not sticking around for an answer. She could feel both of them watching her as she made her way over to Clinton, who was standing with Trevor. They had some questions about the remaining poultry. After they got everything squared away, she got Casey and Michael, hurrying them home as the snow continued to fall. Negan and Bethany were long gone, thank god.

   The air was cold, but she barely felt it, the sight of Negan and Bethany replaying itself in her mind over and over. Why the fuck did he think she'd want to stand there conversing with the two of them? Did she flaunt John in his face?

   Snowflakes blew into the house as she hustled the kids inside, stripping them of their coats and taking them upstairs. Once she got Casey to bed, she fed Michael before placing him in his crib. Her hands were trembling by the time she went downstairs and she jumped as someone knocked on the door as she passed by it.

   John was standing on the porch, not wearing a jacket. She let him in, and he stood just inside the door.

   "I just wanted to check on you," he explained as she crossed her arms over her chest, trying to squeeze out the numbness in her body. "You looked upset at the meeting."

   Gina didn't respond, and he tugged on her arm, trying to get her attention. She finally looked up at him, and his face was a filled with concern. Genuine concern. Without thinking, she pulled him towards her, kissing him as she put her hands around his neck. His arms went around her immediately, and she shivered as he held her tight. When they finally came up for air, she placed her finger to her lips to warn him to keep quiet, and she led him up the steps to her room.


	68. Chapter 68

  
  
   Soft lips grazed Gina's neck, and she got goosebumps on her arms as her eyes closed. There was only blackness behind her eyes, no visions of anyone or anything. The only thing that mattered was the sensation of another's skin on hers, making her body react in a way that it hadn't in months.

   She ran her hands along his shoulders, feeling her way down his back, and the muscles underneath moved, undulating under her touch. A soft moan escaped her, and John moved back up to her mouth, letting his tongue slip inside, exploring slowly, and her legs wrapped themselves around his large waist.

   Just when she thought she'd burst into flames, John broke the kiss, and her eyes fluttered open, looking up at him in surprise. She let go of him, and he propped himself up on his elbows, placing a kiss on the tip of her nose.

  "Is something wrong?" she asked, the seeds of uncertainty beginning to bloom in her gut.

  "What happened to you, Gina?"

   She bit her lip, pushing him off of her. He didn't resist, and Gina sat up, bending her legs and resting her arms on her knees, trying to slow the blood that was pumping rapidly through her body.

   "You're asking now?"

   John sat down next to her, mimicking her position, but he leaned his head on his arms so that he was looking up at her.

   "I am."

   "Why?"

   "Because," he said, "you were hell bent on keeping this in the slow lane, and all of a sudden you're driving at top speed."

   She swallowed the lump in her throat, gazing into his eyes as he waited for her to speak. "Don't get me wrong," he assured her, "I could stay her all night doing exactly what we're doing. But I saw you up on that stage, and seeing your ex with that woman did a number on you."

   Gina rested her head on her own legs, looking at him sideways. His eyes were kind. _He_ was kind, and he wasn't Negan. The man she swore to love until her dying day, and the man that she thought would love her the same. Now, he was in the arms of another, and so was she. And this man deserved the truth. Deserved to decide for himself if she was even worth the effort.

   So she told him everything. From their first meeting until their last night together, leaving out only the fight with Alexandria and Negan's worst deeds as a leader. Part of her didn't want to have John judge him based on that alone, and the other part didn't want him to judge her for loving a man who was capable of those things.

   Surprisingly, she didn't cry, but the pain was evident in her voice as she spun her tale, keeping her focus on his face. When she finished speaking, he watched her for a long moment before straightening up and easing himself off of the bed. Gina assumed he was going to leave, but he came around and sat down by her feet, kissing her on the lips.

   "You're beautiful," he told her sincerely and she felt her eyes burn, the tears brimming at the corners of her eyes. "You deserve so much better, and I can't imagine what that must have been like. Any man that can't appreciate you for the unique creature you are doesn't deserve you."

   "I'm trying," she said and he smiled at her before kissing her again. "I really am."

   "And I'm flattered that I was worthy of your attention. So, this time, I'm the one that's going to slow things down, because when we do take the next step, I want it to be because you can't get enough of my body," he replied with a mocking grin before turning serious. "And not because you're trying to distance yourself from a broken heart."

   "That's not why I brought you up here," she insisted but he stood up again, pulling her up into a hug.

   "It's okay," he said into her ear. "I'm not going anywhere."

   Gina stood stiffly for a moment before melting into his embrace, resting her head on his chest. They stood together for a brief time until he released her, and he held her hand as they walked down the steps towards the front door.

   "Enjoy your dinner tomorrow," he told her as he took her by the face, kissing her deeply. "If you're free tomorrow night, you know where I'll be."

   "Good night," she whispered, watching him as he walked down the steps into the snow, disappearing into the white flakes.

   When she went upstairs, she walked immediately into the bathroom, turning on the shower. Studying her face in the mirror, she looked for any signs of the woman she once was. Physically, she was the same. Same black hair, same brown eyes, same rosy lips. Same freckle just below her right eye. But she no longer felt confident, or desirable. And apparently, she was the only person in town besides Rick who wasn't having any sex, she thought as she snorted to herself.

   After toweling off her hair, she put on comfortable pants and a shirt, walking into Michael's room to check on him. He was still sound asleep, so she got into bed, dozing off until he roused her for his next meal.

   The following morning, she bustled around the kitchen preparing Thanksgiving dinner as Michael played in his little busy chair, while Casey sat at the little table, chattering away. She had just basted the turkey, checking the temperature when a voice called out from the door.

   "Come in," she answered back, and Rick appeared in front of her, holding a bottle of wine for dinner. She set it on the counter with a quick thanks.

   "I just stopped by to see if you needed any help," he offered, and she pointed him towards the large pile of potatoes that were sitting on the counter waiting to be peeled. He pursed his lips, but she gave him an unapologetic smile.

   "You offered."

   "That I did," he muttered, rolling up his sleeves and picking up the peeler.

   "Where's Carl and Judith?" she asked, rolling out the dough for biscuits.

   "Hanging at home. They'll be over this afternoon."

   "Well, I hope you guys are hungry because I've seemed to have gone overboard here," she said, gesturing to the food that was scattered across the kitchen.

   "Carl would never turn down a meal," he joked, scraping one of the large potatoes as she dusted her hands with powder. Casey came over to join them, and Gina let her get her hands covered as well, showing her how to cut the spongy material.

   The three worked in a companionable silence until Gina washed her hands, lugging out an old cd player and popping in a country cd. Rick began to hum along absently, and she wondered why he really came over, but she didn't press him.

   It was only after Casey went up to get dressed and Michael sat contentedly in his swing that she spoke up, watching him as he sat on the couch next to her.

   "What's on your mind?" she asked, and he gave her a sad smile.

   "I'm just feeling melancholy, I guess," Rick replied, and she felt like an ass.

   "This can't be an easy time for you guys, I'm sure," she said gently. No doubt not having Michonne was weighing on all of their minds.

   "I wake up sometimes and I roll over to put my arm around her, forgetting that she's not here anymore." His eyes were bottomless, and they held a pain that far outweighed her own.

   "I'm so sorry, Rick. I really am. I can't even imagine what you're going through. And I know it's no consolation, but you have a family that cares about you all. You'll never be truly alone."

   Gina winced as she heard her words and she placed her hand on her cheek, smacking it lightly. "I just realized how asinine that sounded, so feel free to tell me to fuck off."

   "No, I get what you're saying, and it does help. It does," he answered, patting her on the shoulder. "I'm just feeling sorry for myself."

   "I don't think it's feeling sorry for yourself," she replied, getting to her feet. "I think it's a natural response, and I'd be more surprised if you didn't. You loved her, and you were life partners, for lack of a better word."

   Gina took the brush from Casey's outstretched hand as she came into the room, combing her hair as Rick watched them before rising.

   "I'll let you get ready," he said, strolling to the door. "Thanks for the talk."

   "Anytime," she called after him as Casey took the brush back.

   "Is Rick all right?"

   "He's fine, baby. Sometimes the holidays are hard for people, especially when they've lost someone."

   "Oh."

   "Don't worry. He'll get better, and we're going to have a great dinner. Plus, you're spending the night with dad, and I bet he's really excited."

   She noticed that Casey didn't seem as enthusiastic as she thought she'd be, and Gina got down on her knees, searching her daughter's face.

   "What, baby?"

   Casey let out a little sigh, reaching for Gina's hair and running her hands through it. "I just thought you and daddy would have made up by now, and we'd be having the holidays together."

   Gina's hands went around Casey's waist and she pulled her closer, looking up at her. "Listen, honey, even though we're not together, we both love you very much and we want you to be happy. So how about this, if I can swing it, would it make you happy to have him here on Christmas morning? I'll invite him over and we can all open presents together."

   "Really? You'll do that?"

   "I will. Just for you."

   "Thanks, Mom," Casey said, hugging her around the neck. Gina rubbed her back, and the two of them turned towards Michael, who had started crying.

 

   With Michael on her hip, Gina ushered everyone into the dining room, handing the baby off to Rick so that she could bring the food in. Talia looked gorgeous, and she was carrying her post-baby weight well. There was a serenity to her now that Gina never thought she'd see. She was the only one not sitting down, preferring to feed Evelyn in the living room before the meal commenced.

   Gina carried out all of the dishes, placing them on the table as Carl looked on, devouring all of the foods with his eyes, and Gina gave him a wink, startling him slightly. The turkey was last, and Casey oohed and ahhed as she set it down. After taking Michael back, she handed the carving knife to Rick, insisting that he do the honors.

   He theatrically poised the knife and fork above the turkey, drawing out the moment until Carl intervened, complaining that he was embarrassing himself, and Daryl laughed.

   "No one appreciates me," Rick muttered, making the first slice as Gina handed him plates one by one. Once everyone had enough food, they dug in, forgoing a prayer and just taking a moment to themselves to give thanks. And Gina _was_ thankful, despite how the year was ending. She had two healthy kids, a roof over her head, and a group of people she loved. In retrospect, it could've been much worse.

   Carl was on his third helping when Gina brought out two apple pies, and he looked between the pie and his plate before shoving turkey into his mouth, clearing some space before Rick bopped him on the shoulder. "It's not going to get up and run off the table, son. Eat slower."

   Passing out slices, she gave Carl an extra large piece, and he smiled at her, something she was pleased to see. He never really did so anymore, and if it took food to make him happy, she'd gladly give him an entire grocery store's worth of food.

   Rick insisted on cleaning up, and he volunteered both Carl and Daryl to help him, the latter flipping him off behind Talia's back. Gina and Talia rounded up the other kids, taking them into the living room and putting on a Rudolph DVD that she'd found in one of the houses on the other peninsula. Whoever had lived there, they were nuts about Christmas, having nearly every holiday movie that had ever been made.

   Judith seemed entranced by the little figures, and she stood in the middle of the floor, sucking on her thumb as she watched, and Gina fed Michael, who was squirming in her arms.

   "What a day," Talia murmured, kissing Evelyn on the head as she slept. "I don't know how you do it all."

   "I have easygoing kids," Gina smirked, trying to steady a kicking Michael. "Normally."

   "Well, I'll cook next year," she offered, helping Judith onto the couch as she sat between them.

   "I'm going to hold you to that," she told Talia, winking at her.

 

 

   The sun was setting when Negan arrived, and everyone had already gone home. Gina was just coming down with two overnight bags when Casey whipped open the door, jumping into his arms.

   "Happy Thanksgiving, little darlin'," he said, kissing her loudly on the cheek.

   "You too, Daddy."

   Gina set the bags by the door before getting Michael and putting on his coat and hat. Casey was watching her, busting at the seams and Gina nodded silently.

   "Daddy, can you come over Christmas morning to watch us open presents?"

   Negan looked at her cautiously, and Gina gave him a tentative smile to show that she was okay with it. "Are you sure?" he mouthed to her and she nodded once again.

   "I'll be the happiest guy in town if I'm here with you and your brother," he said, snuggling her neck as she squealed. Michael shifted in her arms again, and he called out for Negan, who set Casey down to take him.

   "Dada, Dada," he chirped, clasping his hands around Negan's cheeks, and Gina felt a pang in her heart, watching the two of them.

   "Mom, are out all right?"

   Negan glanced over at her as she smoothed out her face, giving Casey a cheerful grin. "I'm fine, baby, I'm just going to miss you both."

   "Geez, we'll be back tomorrow," she said tartly, and Negan put his hand on Casey's shoulder.

   "Watch your mouth, young lady. You show her respect."

   Gina bit back her surprise, and she crossed her arms as Casey looked up at her regretfully. "I'm sorry," she apologized as Gina stepped towards her, hugging her.

   "Someday you'll have kids of your own, and you'll understand," she said, releasing her and kissing Michael on the cheek.

   "Have a good night," she told the three of them, watching as they walked down the steps onto the snow. Negan turned around once, looking at her wistfully, and she shut the door. Once they were gone, she threw on her coat and headed to see John, laden down with apple pie.


	69. Chapter 69

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My fingers are getting tired from writing so much, but I want to get these chapters out as quickly as possible because I'm so excited and nervous for what's coming. I hope you're still enjoying the story, and stay tuned, because it's about to blow up!

  
  
   Gina sat cross-legged on the floor of the living room, surrounded by presents that still needed to be wrapped. It was already Christmas Eve, and she'd done a piss poor job of prioritizing, leaving her scrambling as the kids slept. On her last run with Devin, they raided an old dollar store, and she'd snapped up as many gift bags as she could. It seemed to fall on her to find gifts for everyone and it kept her out of the community more than she was in it, and the kids had spent more nights with Negan over the last month than she'd originally planned.

   On the up side, it gave her a chance to spend more time with John, and they'd finally slept together a few nights before. Negan had taken the kids, promising Casey that they could decorate his tree, and Gina had gone over to John's house, ready to move their relationship forward to the final stage.

   She and Negan were in a decent place, able to converse more freely, though he said nothing about Bethany, and she said nothing about John. Over the last few weeks, they'd kept their distance during the weekly meetings, and she'd only talked to the woman once, when she ran into her at the warehouse three days before.

   Gina had been filling up her bag with food, standing in the aisle as she tried to decide between rice or pasta when she felt a tap on her shoulder. Turning around, she found herself face to face with the young woman, and Bethany was smiling at her. Gina's own demeanor was guarded, and she wondered what this chick wanted.

   "Hi," she said, tucking her long hair behind her ears. "I didn't mean to disturb you."

   "You're not," Gina told her, setting the rice back on the shelf.

   "I was wondering if I could meet with you, whenever you have some free time."

   "Is it an emergency?" she asked, looking over Bethany's shoulder for Negan, assuming he was skulking around somewhere.

   "Oh, no," Bethany assured her. "I was just hoping I could talk to you about a few things, that's all."

    A trickle of fear began to make its way from her head down her spine, and she had a bad feeling. What if Negan was serious about this woman? What if he wanted to marry her and introduce her to their kids? As far as she knew, Bethany was never around when Casey and Michael were with him, and conversely, John had yet to be introduced.

   "Well, if it's not anything that's pressing, I've got a full schedule until after the holidays. We could set something up after the new year if that's all right."

   "That would be great," Bethany told her, offering her a genuine smile. "If I don't see you until the party, have a great Christmas."

   "You, too."

   Carrying home her supplies, she'd put them away on autopilot, her stomach still doing flips as she tried to figure out Bethany's angle. Whatever Negan did with her was not something she cared to think about, but if their children were coming into play, that was a whole different ball of wax. Her opinion was that it was still way too early to start having new people in their lives, but she and Negan had never discussed it. They were finally at a cordial place, and Gina knew that this could send them right back to where they were at the beginning.

   As the sun went down for the evening, she left her house, walking towards the gates to see if John was back from his trip with Clinton. The trucks were sitting along the road, so she knocked on his door, and he answered wearing a pair of sweatpants and no shirt, a towel around his neck. His hair was wet, and it was still wild.

   "Hey, stranger," he said, opening the door wider to let her in. Bending down to kiss her, he let the door drift closed, and she took a hold of the towel, pulling his body closer to hers. Gina didn't resist when he grabbed her legs, lifting her up so that her head was above his.

   "Welcome back," she told him, laughing as he as he nuzzled her neck, and she locked her ankles around his back. When they got to his bed, he set her down and she flopped backward, pulling him with her. His skin was warm from the shower, and Gina ran her hands down his chest, stopping when she got to his waistband.

   "Are you sure?" he asked, breathing heavily as she smiled up at him.

   "I'm sure. You just need to do something with your hair or I might start laughing in the middle of it."

   He looked up as if he could see what was on top of his head, brushing it back with a groan as he got off of her and went out into the hall, coming back a few minutes later looking much more respectable. In fact, the look on his face caused a flash of heat between her thighs, and it didn't seem so funny anymore.

   John advanced towards the bed, hovering above her as she tried not to squirm, and he resumed his position on top of her body, running his fingers along the side of her cheek. Gina lifted her head, meeting his lips, and he tilted himself off to the side, his hand moving slowly from her face, along her neck and down to her breast, cupping it in his large grip.

   The skin underneath his touch responded immediately, even though there was a layer of clothing between them, and she took a deep breath, giving him a look of encouragement. His hand moved further down, reaching the hem of her shirt, and he lifted it, kissing her stomach as she dug her nails into his shoulder. He didn't seem to notice, and she sat up, removing the shirt completely, while he undid the button on her jeans.

   A brief moment of panic caused her to freeze, and he stopped what he was doing, sitting up. "We're going too fast, aren't we?"

   His voice was deep and husky, and she watched as he tried to slow his breathing.

   "No," she insisted, swinging her legs off of the bed. "It's not that. I just remembered that I have a nasty scar from my c-section."

   "So?"

   "So, I just got self-conscious about it. I mean, look at you, then look at me."

   Irritation spread across his face, and he got off of the bed in one, quick fluid motion. "How many times have I told you that you're gorgeous? How many times am I going to have to say it until you believe it? Just give me a number so that I can catch up."

   Without waiting for an answer, he finished unbuttoning her pants, pushing them down before glancing at the fading red line that stretched across her abdomen.

   "Hmm," he muttered, his hair falling down over his face.

   "What?"

   When he looked back up at her, the anger was gone, and a smile had taken its place. "I don't see an ugly scar. I see a war wound from bringing a child into the world."

   "What is wrong with you? Seriously?"

   "Huh?" He looked taken aback as she pushed him away slightly.

   "There has to be something wrong with you. Some kind of flaw. Is it mental illness? Secret pervert? What? You can tell me," she replied in a half-joking voice. "No one is this nice and good-looking."

   "I have my flaws," he told her, scooping her up in his arms and setting her back on the bed. He was still standing over her, and he undid her shoes so that she could kick off her pants. John let them drop to the floor, and he climbed back on top of her, kissing her feverishly as his hands went from her hips to her thighs, fingers barely touching the sensitive skin.

   Gina wound her fingers into his hair, yanking at it roughly as she pulled his head back, sucking on the base of his neck, and he let out a deep growl, pressing down on the inside of her thigh, his knees spreading her legs and sliding his hand underneath the silky material that covered his access. First one, then two fingers slipped inside her, and she instinctively thrust her hips up, trying to make more contact as she grazed his collarbone with her teeth.

   When she couldn't take any more, Gina freed herself and sat up to unhook her bra. John removed his pants before helping her with her panties, and they were finally laid bare before each other for the first time. Afterward, she couldn't remember what his body looked like, she could only recall how it felt when he finally entered her. It felt strange at first, having another man inside her, but the carnal pleasure that his strokes gave her burned away any remnants of guilt.

   John was a skilled lover, and he used his natural gifts well, moving in and out at a steady pace, his body never stopping, never giving her a reprieve, until she finally came, an orgasm so long overdue that she was actually shaking. But he didn't stop, he kept pounding out a rhythm, while he nibbled on her breasts, causing her to arch her back. His own release was a slow build, and when he did, he kissed her, grunting into her mouth as he continued to thrust his hips.

   Gina was breathless, her chest moving up and down rapidly as he rolled onto his back, taking her hand and kissing it.

   "So what are your flaws again?" she croaked out, looking at him out of the corner of her eye.

   He laughed, turning to his side and running his finger down her chest between her breasts. "I'm a jealous guy," he admitted, watching the trail he was making on her skin. "I tend to get a bit possessive, so if I come on strong, you're going to have to call me on it."

   "Seriously?"

   "Seriously," he said, finally looking up at her. "You're not the only one that's been fucked over."

   The fact that he swore surprised her, since she didn't think he'd ever done so in front of her before. She, meanwhile, must have used every curse word in the book around him.

   "I'm sorry," she murmured quietly, turning so that they were face to face.

   "It was a long time ago," he told her, dropping his hand. "But I don't think I'll ever forget how it felt." His face cleared, and he gave her a lazy smile. "What's that old saying? 'Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, and today is a gift from God, which is why we call it the present.' That's my motto."

   "Vivere una vita bella," Gina whispered as he leaned his head towards her.

   "Live a beautiful life."

   She gave him a skeptical look, and he laughed lightly. "You're not the only one who can speak Italian."

   They laid in bed talking for a while until she sat up, letting out a sigh as she hunted around for her clothes. Tonight was a big step for her, but she wasn't quite ready to spend the entire night with him. Sleeping next to him in bed was yet another level of vulnerability she had to work her way up to, and he didn't try to stop her as she got dressed.

   Sitting back down, she leaned over his chest, resting her arm alongside him, and he brushed her hair back behind her shoulder. "Still too soon for a sleepover?"

   "Kind of, yeah."

   John pulled up the sheet to his chest, grinning at her like a Cheshire cat. "I feel so used."

   She smacked him on the shoulder before getting back to her feet and he called out to her just before she got to the front door. Gina walked back to the bedroom and he motioned for her to come closer.

   "I almost forgot," he told her. "I wanted to ask you to be my date for the New Year's party."

   Tina had decided to have a party to ring in the new year instead of a Christmas party, and it was strictly adults only. Gina tried to get out of attending, but Daryl volunteered to take the kids for the night, giving her no excuse to not go. She'd elbowed him in the side, and Talia had to physically separate them, telling them both to grow up.

   "That would be nice," she said before backing up towards the entrance with a wave. It would be the first time they'd be out together in public, and it was going to happen sooner or later.

   Yanking off a piece of tape, she awkwardly held one of Michael's gifts on her lap, folding the paper down loosely so that he could try to open it himself. She'd gone overboard this year, and the pile under the tree was ridiculous. In this day and age, there was no need for such extravagance, but every time she found something that they could use, Gina had grabbed it. Devin wasn't much better, loading up the trucks with things for Tina and Rebecca.

   The stash for the rest of her family was sitting in the study, and she'd found things for everyone in Talia's house. There was also one small gift for Negan, but it hadn't cost her anything. In fact, it struck a little too close to home. She'd made him a new collage, but only of the kids. It, too, was under the tree.

   Her fingers were aching and her back was throbbing when she finally finished, shoving the last gift under the tree. Casey had left out cookies for Santa, and she stood over the plate, munching on them before going up to bed. Michael was sleeping in her room tonight, and she felt a little less lonely as she moved his little pack 'n play closer to the bed.

   It felt like she'd just closed her eyes when her door creaked open and little footsteps approached her. "Mom, get up."

   "Mmmhmm?"

   "Get up!"

   Gina opened her eyes to find Casey standing over her and Michael lying awake in his crib, playing with his feet, trying to shove them into his mouth.

   "I'm up," she said in a groggy voice, bringing herself to a sitting position slowly. "Watch your brother for a second," she told her, stumbling towards the bathroom, where she quickly brushed her teeth and her hair, wrapping a robe around herself.

   Casey was anxious to get downstairs, and she waited at the top of the steps, hopping up and down as Gina hoisted Michael onto her hip. Negan was knocking at the door as they came down, and Casey flew over to answer it as Gina yawned.

   "Merry Christmas," he called out, picking her up as she gave him a hug.

   Handing Michael over so that she could start a pot of coffee, she went into the kitchen, moving slowly as she blinked rapidly, trying to summon the energy to start the day. When she went into the living room, she handed Negan a cup before sitting on the floor near the couch.

   Casey had already pulled out her own gifts, and with a look to Gina, she ripped into them as Negan held the baby, bouncing him up and down on his leg. There were new CDs, new movies for her to watch, clothes by the dozen and some crafting kits that Gina had pilfered from a home store. When her last gift was opened, Negan joined her on the floor as the four of them started on Michael's gifts.

   Exhibiting a patience that Gina didn't think was possible, Casey held out each present in front of Michael, encouraging him as he pulled at the paper, ripping it off before stuffing it in his mouth.

   The floor looked like a paper factory exploded when they were done, and there was only one present left. Gina handed it to Negan without a word, and he thanked her quietly as he stared at it. He seemed ambivalent about opening it until she spoke up.

   "It's not a bomb," she said, her eyebrow raising. "It's just a gift."

   Casey got up, leaving to go into the kitchen and they were alone with Michael, sitting inches from each other.

   "Sorry," he muttered, sliding his finger under the seam, lifting the tape off. "Just got nostalgic for a second."

   Unable to respond, she focused on the baby's head while he flipped it over, and she saw him swallow hard as he studied the pictures. They were all of the kids. Some of them together and some of just Michael or Casey. She'd managed to get a really nice one of the two of them together on the couch, and Michael was grinning in a big toothless smile as Casey held him on her lap.

   "I figured it could replace the other collage," she said and he looked up sharply, his eyes red.

   "Nothing could ever replace that," he told her, the picture shaking slightly in his hand. "That gift means more to me than you'll ever know."

   "Excuse me," she replied, handing him the baby and standing up abruptly, rushing from the room. Gina knew she was going to cry, and she didn't want anyone to see, so she stepped into the study, closing the door softly. Wiping roughly at her eyes, she looked out of the window, resenting him and loathing herself. This was hard, it was just too hard, and it was exhausting to keep trying to hate him.

   "Hey," came his deep, sandpaper voice, and she turned around quickly, brushing her arm across her face.

   He still had Michael with him, and she leaned against the window as he took tentative steps towards her. "I didn't mean to upset you."

   "I'm not made of stone, Negan. I have feelings and regrets, the same as you."

   Seeming to weigh his words carefully, he glanced down at their son as he spoke. "I'm sorry. It just feels like you've been over me for a while."

   "You were the love of my life," she said in a voice that faded in and out. "You were the one person I thought I'd be with forever. And you're not the only one who's adjusting to the fact that it's over, no matter if it was my words or not that ended it."

   "It's not too late," he told her emphatically, closing the space between them so that they were only millimeters apart, and Michael reached out for her. Holding him against her chest, she looked into his eyes. Really looked, and she saw that he was serious.

   "I slept with him."

   Almost immediately, a coldness came over his features, and his eyes froze over. Faster than she ever thought possible, he turned away from her, walking stiffly towards the hallway and a second later, the front door slammed, while she took shaking steps back out to the living room, collapsing onto the couch. Casey was sitting on the floor, and she got to her feet, climbing onto the couch next to Gina as she sobbed, rocking the baby back and forth, feeling as low as the night he left.


	70. Chapter 70

  
   Rick shifted from foot to foot, growing antsy as she continued to pump bullets into the walkers that had no chance of ever reaching them. They were on their way home, and they'd passed an industrial park, it's back bay sealed by chain link fences. There were dozens of walkers trapped, and she told Rick to stop the truck, the trailer that was hitched to the back swaying as he swung around, circling back to the side of the large, brick building.

   Gina had exited the truck, pulling out guns and ammo as she strode over to the metal links, firing with abandon. Rick had shot for only a short time, holstering his gun as she continued on like a machine, exterminating every ghoul that shuffled towards them, alerted by the sound.

   It was practice, a way to keep her skills sharp, but it was also an outlet, a way to vent her anger and frustration over the shitty events of Christmas.

   Negan had walked out, slamming the door and leaving her with the kids, a broken mess. He had left the picture on the coffee table, and she'd sat on the couch for several minutes, weeping into Michael's back as Casey tried her best to console her. It was only when her daughter started to whimper that she shuddered, taking a deep breath to try and compose herself.

   "Mommy, please don't cry," she'd begged her, clutching at her arm as Michael began to get upset, sensing her distress.

   "I'm sorry, Casey. I didn't mean to upset you," Gina told her, reaching for a tissue and blowing her nose. She reached out, taking Casey against her chest as Michael rested his head on her shoulder, and they sat together in the silent house, still surrounded by wrapping paper and gift bags.

   Once she'd gotten herself together, she kissed her daughter on her head and rose, going into the kitchen to get them both fed. The oatmeal was done in a few minutes, and she sat at the table, feeding Michael bits as Casey ate with no enthusiasm.

   Their afternoon was spent at Talia's, and she'd had to make two trips, one to drop the kids off, and the other to retrieve the presents. Casey perked up as the day went on, and by the time they went back home, she was almost her old self. Gina, meanwhile, hid her emotions until both kids were asleep, and she sat on her couch, once again feeling wretched.

   The following morning, Daryl knocked on her door, and he sat down at the dining room table looking uncomfortable.

   "What?" Gina asked, worried that something was wrong with Talia or Evelyn. She had no idea what was going to come out of his mouth.

   "I'm here to pick up the kids for the asshole," he said, refusing to meet her gaze.

   "Excuse me?"

   Daryl let out a huff of breath, pissed about being put in the middle.

   "I'm gonna pick 'em up and take 'em to his house. He doesn't wanna come here for the time being."

   Any sorrow and sadness that she was feeling evaporated and a white hot fury took over her body, so much so that she actually saw red. Slamming her hands on the table, she stood up, taking the steps two at a time. Casey was in her room playing, and Gina packed her bag, shoving clothes and toys in at record speed. Michael's was next, and she brought them back down, dropping them at the door where Daryl was leaning against it, crossing his arms as he watched her.

   "Casey! Let's go," she called out, putting Michael's coat on and strapping him in his seat.

   Gina had no idea why Daryl agreed to act as a go-between, but she wasn't angry at him. She assumed he only wanted to spare her children an uncomfortable transition. Casey came down the steps, holding her coat and looking at Gina nervously. She tried to smile, however she only made it worse as Casey darted around her, handing Daryl her jacket.

   He helped her into it before picking up the car seat, and without a word, he led them out to the street.

   Fuck that motherfucker. If he wanted to act like a baby and play the victim, she'd give him a reason to sulk. He had his own woman, and he wanted to act like she was the homewrecker? The heartless one? The one who threw what they had away with both hands?

   A half an hour later, she was naked and on top of John, holding his arms down by his wrists as she bounced on top of him, moving with a vengeance. He hadn't even been able to get a word in, and though he could overpower her easily, he let her stay in control, and she worked every last muscle in her body until she finally cried out, collapsing on top of him.

   Resting her head on his chest, Gina caught her breath as he ran his hand up and down her back, and she eased him out of her before shifting off of him.

   "So..." he trailed off, and she kept her head down, refusing to meet her eyes.

   "Please don't," she mumbled, looking at the wall. He wasn't an idiot, and he surely knew that she was upset and reacting to something with Negan. "I don't want to talk about it."

   "Well, that's not fair," he said harshly, causing her to lift her head. It was the first time he'd ever sounded cross with her, and she didn't like it.

   "I'm sorry," she answered, sitting up.

   "Don't apologize," he told her, putting his hands behind his head. "Just tell me what's going on."

   Turning to face the head of the bed, she wrapped the sheet around her body. In as few words as possible, she explained to him what happened that morning, leaving out the events of Christmas. It was a shitty thing to do, but she didn't want to have to defend herself to two different men for the same thing. The only thing she told him was that she told Negan they were together.

   John's face became stony, and she inched away from him as he rolled over, getting out of the bed.

   "I have half a mind to go to that prick's house and introduce myself properly." He was naked and pacing the room, and Gina scooted back to the far end of the bed, terrified that he'd actually go through with it.

   "It's my problem to deal with, not yours," she replied in a small voice. "I don't want any trouble with him. He's the father of my children, and he'll get over it."

   He stopped moving, turning to look at her as she twisted the sheet in her hands. "He can't treat you like that. It's not fair to you."

   "I know that," she assured him. "I do. But let me handle him in my own way."

   After a fraught moment on her end, John got back into the bed, pulling her towards him as she turned around, and he pressed his chest against her back, resting his hand on her hip. She lay there stiffly until he murmured an apology. Once he was asleep, she eased herself out from under his arm and snuck out of his house back to her own.

   They slept together once more before the day of the party, and she hadn't seen Negan since he walked out of her house. But all that was about to change tonight, because every adult except for those on guard duty and the ones watching the children would be present, as Rick was quick to remind her.

   "We've gotta go," he urged as she fired twice more. It was a waste of bullets, but she ignored him until the last walker dropped. Rick shook his head, striding off towards the truck, and she followed behind him, tossing the now empty gun onto the floor. "We still have to get all this shit to the fire station."

   "Sorry," she lamely replied, staring out the window as he let out a deep breath.

   "Believe me, I'm not looking forward to this either, but everyone's waiting for us and it's getting late."

   "This night is not going to end well for me, I can feel it in my bones," she grumbled, pulling out a cigarette and unrolling the window before she lit it up. Rick held out his hand, and she gave him one, eyeing him with skepticism.

   He put the lighter to the end of it, taking a deep drag as he concentrated on the road and it was at least a few minutes before he spoke again, tossing the butt out of his window.

   "I've already warned Negan not to act like a fool tonight, so we'll see what good that does you."

   "You did?"

   Gina was surprised that he'd insert himself into the situation since he mostly claimed neutrality where she and Negan were concerned. He wasn't happy with Negan's actions, but she knew that they'd gotten closer since he moved to Reedville. The two of them never discussed Negan in all the time they spent together, and it unnerved her to think that the two men had conversations of such a personal nature.

   When they arrived back at home, they worked quickly to get the supplies unloaded, breaking apart to go to their respective homes to get ready. Michael and Casey were already with Daryl and Talia, who were tasked with watching a house full of children, and Carl had stepped up and offered to help. Carl's friend Julian was joining them, and Gina had scoured around for some games and snacks for them, thanking them both for assisting.

   After she showered, she stood in front of her closet, rifling through the few dresses that hung on the hangers, finally pulling out the only one she'd never worn, having deemed it too risque long ago. Once her hair and makeup were done, she put on her locket, the one with the pictures of her kids, along with a few gold bangles before zipping up her dress. Gauging herself in the mirror, she adjusted and readjusted the dress until it sat the way she wanted it to. It was red, skintight, and backless, and her hair was up in a twist, showcasing the lines of the garment.

   Her figure was finally back to her pre-baby weight, and she hoped that she looked good, unable to judge her own appearance fairly. Strappy gold sandals were the last thing she put on before spritzing some perfume as the doorbell rang, and she hurried downstairs, opening the door before grabbing her coat.

   John was standing there, and his eyes widened as she kissed him on the cheek.

   "Let's just stay here," he said, wrapping his hands around her waist and kissing her neck. He was wearing a dark gray dress shirt that clung to his brawny chest, and his pants emphasized his muscular ass. "Oh, God," he growled. "You're not wearing a bra."

   "I can't with this dress," she grinned, grabbing him from behind and rubbing her chest against his. A strand of hair had come loose, hanging down on his forehead, and she used her fingers to sweep it back off of his face before extricating herself from his arms and shrugging into her coat.

   They walked slowly towards the fire station, and he took her by the hand. "I didn't actually say the words, but you look amazing," he told her, and she gave him a pleased smile. Who doesn't like hearing that?

   "You look handsome as well."

   Joining the other people that were streaming towards the entrance, Gina took a deep breath, mentally steeling herself to see Negan. The party appeared to be in full swing, and there was raucous music already blaring as they stepped inside. She was set upon immediately by Tina, who gave her an enthusiastic hug.

   "Honey, you are looking sexy," she squealed holding open her jacket as Gina patted her on the shoulder, several people turning to stare at the two of them.

   "Thank you," she answered, raising her voice slightly so that Tina could hear her over the music. "You remember John? John, this is my friend Tina. She's the one that teaches the kids, and takes such good care of Casey and Michael."

   Tina gave him a polite smile, extending her hand, and John shook it. She didn't appear to be as taken with him as some of the other women in town, and Gina felt a tiny bit awkward. It got a whole lot worse when she looked over the crowd and saw Negan sitting across the room with Bethany.

   They made eye contact, and Negan gave her a nasty smile before putting his arm around Bethany's shoulder. Her head had been turned, and she turned to look at him curiously before glancing over and seeing Gina. Resignation flashed across her face, and she leaned in, whispering in Negan's ear. He didn't appear happy with whatever Bethany said, but he didn't take his eyes off of her.

   With a slight shake of her head, Gina spun around to see that John was looking in their direction, and he looked irritated. Tina, sensing the tension, excused herself, and Gina took off her coat, handing it to him to break his focus.

   "I'll meet you at the bar," she told him, but he couldn't hear her, so she pointed to where she was going, and he nodded his head, disappearing with their coats.

   It was already the beginning of hell on earth, and she stood in line, waiting to get a drink as people ahead of her laughed and talked jovially. When she finally stepped up to the makeshift bar, Chuck, one of the guards, gave her a big smile, and she ordered a Jack and Coke, unsure of what John wanted to drink. Looking around for him, she spied him still by where the coats were being stored, monopolized by Mrs. Stevenson, the oldest resident they had. He gave her a pleading look, and she made her way over.

   "You look so handsome, young man," she was saying as John bent down to hear her. "Like a young Robert Redford."

   "Well, thank you," he told her, kissing her on the cheek. She was a widow, and she blushed as Gina fought to hide a smile. "Maybe you could save me a dance later."

   "Oh, my stars," she chirped, and Gina grinned from ear to ear. It was adorable, and she stood silently for a while as he flattered her. Once she toddled off, she handed him her drink and he took a sip, grimacing slightly.

   "Not a whiskey man?" she asked, taking it back.

   "I prefer gin," he replied, leading her back towards the bar. Gina took a big sip, getting another glass for good measure, and they made their way through the tables, as far from Negan as possible, finding two empty seats by the door leading out to the fire pit. Her view of Negan was obstructed, and she began to relax as Diane and a few other people made their way around with hors d'oeuvres.

   Nearly everyone in the room came over to their table, greeting Gina and chatting with the two of them. Rick finally showed up, and she thought he looked dashing in his suit. He'd shaved, and his hair was slicked back as he looked around warily, like a lost puppy. His bestie, Daryl, wasn't there, and she knew he got along with everyone, but he was closest to her and Negan of all the people in the room.

   She waved her arm, catching his attention, and he gave her a grateful look as he came over to the table, sitting down heavily next to her. John gave him an appraising glance, and she hastily introduced them.

   "Rick and I have known each other for years, since before Reedville," she informed him, and he seemed to relax slightly. It irked her, and she seriously considered saying something, remembering how he told her he got jealous.

   "What can I get you to drink?" she asked Rick, standing up.

   "I'll take a Scotch and soda if they have it."

   "They should," she said with a grin. "I think we have cases of every kind of alcohol there is."

   Scooting around John, she walked back towards the bar as she spied Bethany standing by it, and she hesitated slightly before deciding to soldier on. The young woman noticed her approach, and her face tensed up briefly before relaxing into a smile.

   "How are you?" she asked as Gina gave her a friendly look.

   "I'm great," she answered, lying through her teeth. "You look very pretty."

   Bethany was wearing a simple black dress, and her hair was curled. She wore minimal makeup, but she had lovely skin and bright blue eyes.

   "Thank you," Bethany told her, and she seemed sincere. "Look, I know this is weird, but-"

   "Let's just enjoy the evening," Gina interrupted, giving her a cold look. "I really don't want to get into this."

   "I didn't mean to make you upset," she said, her cheeks turning pink.

   "You seem like a nice girl," Gina told her, trying to temper her anger. "But I'm not interested in getting to know you at the moment. Just please keep your boyfriend away from me tonight, and I'll stay away from him. Please."

   Bethany frowned, looking unhappy, but she nodded her head, taking her drink and walking back to her table. She leaned in, talking to Negan, and he shot her a dirty look before she turned back around, asking Chuck for Rick's drink.

   When she got back to the table, neither John nor Rick was talking, and she wasn't sure that they had said a word since she left. Handing Rick the glass, she sat back down, draining her first drink and starting on the second.

   The next several minutes dragged on, and she found herself working extra hard to keep the conversation going, trying to find common ground between John and Rick. John seemed to loosen up, and the two talked football as she finished her second drink, finally feeling some of the effects of the alcohol. She excused herself to go to the restroom, and when she was done, she grabbed her coat, ducking outside for a cigarette.

   Tina was sitting by the fire pit, talking animatedly with Devin, and she walked towards them after she stamped out the butt. Tina patted the seat next to her, and Gina sat for a second before heading back in, promising her friend that she'd dance soon. John and Rick were standing by the bar, and she threw her coat on her chair before joining them.

   John wrapped his arm around his waist, continuing his story. "Nah, the Super Bowl was nuts. I just can't describe it," he said, tilting his glass as he took a sip. "It's just a spectacle beyond belief."

   "I wish my Falcons could've won one," Rick grumbled, leaning against the bar.

   "It was tough to get there if you weren't the Patriots," John joked as Gina got yet another drink. She was feeling good, and even though her skin burned from Negan's glares, she was beginning to have a good time.

   Whoever was in charge of the music was on point, because "California Love" by 2Pac came blaring on, and she handed John her drink, dragging Tina onto the dance floor. Several others joined them, and she rapped along to the music, swiveling her hips as John watched her, his eyes sparkling. He ended up walking out and joining her, holding her waist as she moved, and he rapped along with her.

   Tina seemed a little more at ease with him, and they ended up in a small circle, grooving along to the music. "This song was my fucking jam in my club days," she told them, raising her arms above her head as she continued to dance. Not even Negan could bring her down right now, even though they accidentally made eye contact. He no longer looked angry, but she noticed that Bethany wasn't sitting with him.

   Focusing back on the dance floor, she took a step back when the music segued into a Prince song, and Clinton strolled onto the floor. She let out a whoop as he began to dance, and John stood just behind her, resting his hands on her shoulders while she continued to sway along with the music. When the song was over, the tempo switched, and a slow song came one. John had just taken her in his arms when a gnarled hand tapped his elbow, and Mrs. Stevenson gave him a coquettish smile. Gina bowed out gracefully, going back to grab her coat before refilling her drink.

   It was quiet by the bonfire, and she was the only one out there, until a voice startled her, causing her to spill her drink by her foot.

   "You're making quite the spectacle of yourself in there."

   She was nicely buzzed, and she crossed her legs, the hem of her dress rising while she leaned back in the chair and took a drink. "You should talk, you stunted manchild. Hanging all over that girl like a caveman."

   Negan spat on the ground, staring into the fire until she eventually stood up, making her way past him. He reached out, grabbing her by the arm, and she wrenched away from him.

   "Don't fucking touch me," she hissed, wobbling slightly.

   "What is wrong with you? I don't even know who you are anymore," he snapped, running his hands through his hair. He was irate, and she laughed.

   "Who I am is not your concern, remember? Go fuck yourself. Better yet, go fuck your girlfriend. You're her problem now, not mine."

   Negan seized on that, sensing a weakness, and his eyes glittered as he stared her down. "You're jealous, aren't you?" She could see the fire reflected in his eyes, and she felt the sudden urge to push him into it, wanting to hurt him badly, to make him feel a pain that he could never recover from.

   "What the hell is going on out here?"

   They both turned to look, and John was walking towards them with clenched fists.

   "Nothing," Gina told him, feeling Negan stand up to his full height next to her, his shoulders straightening. "Come on, let's go inside."

   She tried to take him by the arm, but he shook her off.

   "Run along," Negan taunted, waving his fingers at him. He looked dangerous, like he had at the Sanctuary when he found out someone had broken one of his rules. John didn't know him at all, but Gina did, and she wanted nothing more than to get the two of them away from each other.

   "I don't care what the fuck you had with her, if you ever come near her again, I'll kill you," John seethed, and Gina's mouth dropped open. "She's mine now."

   Negan smiled, but it wasn't really a smile. It was sinister, and it was predatory. "I've fucking ended people for less," he warned him, taking a step forward. John was taller than he was by a head, but there was no mistaking his intentions.

   "Stop it," Gina interjected, reaching for John's arm again, but he pushed her away, sending her stumbling. That was all it took, and Negan struck first, punching John in the jaw. She hit the ground on her knees, and her glass went flying, clattering across the concrete. As she rolled over, she saw that they were engaged in a real fight, and John had Negan by the neck, hitting him in the face over and over.

   She screamed, and a few people came running. Negan kicked at John's knee which dropped him to the ground, and he held him by the hair, hitting him in the nose, his hand making contact with a crack. Blood began pouring out, and she watched in horror as John punched him in the gut, causing Negan to double over.

   Rick came rushing out, wrenching Negan away as two men held John by the arms. They were both yelling, cursing and saying horrible things, until she climbed to her feet.

   "That's enough!"

   Gina screamed it so loudly that they both stopped abruptly, looking at her. Everyone around the fire was breathing heavily, and she was shaking from head to toe. Focusing on Rick and only Rick, she limped towards him. "Will you take me home?"

   She was angry, she was embarrassed, and she was hurt. In her current state, she didn't care if she ever saw either man again. "If either one of you so much as looks at each other, I'll have you both thrown out of this town."

   Rick let Negan go, holding out his arm, and she took it, walking away slowly. John called her name, but she didn't look back, hobbling through the door as everyone stared at the two of them. Bethany was standing near the entrance, and she watched them pass by, her face pale. Rick didn't say a word, he just stared straight ahead until they got to her porch. She let go of him, but he followed her up the steps and into her house.

   "I'll be fine," she told him in a shaky voice, but he stepped around her, leading her to the couch.

   "Where's your first aid kit?"

   "The downstairs medicine cabinet," she stuttered, looking down at her lap.

   He was back a moment later, and he knelt down in front of her, opening the metal box. She watched him dully as he cleaned both of her knees, the antiseptic stinging when he dabbed it on her cuts. They were shallow, and he covered them with clean bandages before disposing of the trash and sitting down next to her.

   Gina took off her shoes, still trembling, and he pulled the blanket off of the back of the sofa, handing it to her. The vision of the two of them fighting replayed itself over and over, and she was repulsed.

   "I'm sorry," she muttered, pulling the blanket tightly around her shoulders.

   "What do you have to be sorry for?"

   He seemed genuinely curious, and she turned her face towards his. "I don't know," she admitted. "For tearing you away from that awesome party, I guess."

   Rick chuckled, leaning back against the sofa. "That was a long time coming, I think."

   Gina glared at him, and he gave her a pat on the shoulder. "That," she said balefully, "was a fucking embarrassment, and I'm disgusted that I ever had anything to do with either of them."

   The words had barely left her lips when there was a knock at the door. Rick stood up swiftly, and he answered it, opening it only a crack. She could see John standing on the porch, and he asked to come in.

   "No," Rick told him, blocking her vision. "No one is going to be seeing her tonight."

   "Gina, please," he said, his voice rising. "I have to talk to you."

   Gina stood up, stalking to the door and pulling it wider.

   "I don't want to see you," she told him firmly. "Go home."

   Ten minutes later, Negan was standing in front of her, and she told him the exact same thing, shutting the door quickly.

   "I'm going to sleep on the couch," Rick informed her, urging her towards the steps. "I'll make sure neither one of them comes back."

   "Thank you," she told him, grateful to have him as a friend. Walking up the steps, she made it to her room before she started to lose it, and she fell asleep in her dress, resigned to the fact that she didn't know anything anymore.


	71. Chapter 71

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know...  
> This was a hard chapter for me to write, and some of you are going to like it. Some of you may not.

  
   The smell of freshly brewed coffee filled the house, and Rick came stumbling into the dining room, sitting down with a groan as Gina brought in cups and breakfast pastries. She'd showered and changed her clothes, and her hair was pulled back in a wet ponytail. It was still early, and she sat down across from him, pushing the pot across the table.

   He was disheveled, his hair sticking up everywhere and his shirt was a wrinkled mess. There were lines almost embedded along his cheek, and he grunted as he poured himself some coffee.

   "Thanks again for staying," she told him, and he glanced up at her, giving her a smile.

   "Not a problem. Did you get any sleep?"

   "No," she admitted, watching as he added a small amount of cream and sugar, and he let out a satisfied sigh after the first sip.

   "The thing that bothers me the most is that the fight wasn't even about me."

   Rick looked confused, and she met his eyes again, feeling stupid. "It was about them, and their pride. They both think of me as their property. They just wanted to prove who had the biggest dick."

   He smiled, and she felt even worse. "It's not funny. That's all this town is going to be talking about. How is anyone going to respect me as a leader when I was in the middle of that circus sideshow?"

   "It was definitely mostly about you," he conceded, straightening out his features. Reaching for a piece of coffee cake, he pulled off a part, tossing it into his mouth as she took back the pot, filling her cup before playing with the spoon absently.

   "I have to tell you something," Rick confessed, and while he didn't look guilty, he also didn't seem entirely comfortable.

   "Oh, God. What?"

   "I know about Annabeth."

   Gina's cheeks were aflame, and he hurriedly explained.

   "Negan told me right after you ended things."

   "Why didn't you tell me?" She felt stung that he'd known all this time. They'd spent entire days on the road together, and he never even gave her an inkling that he knew.

   "Because I knew you didn't want anyone to know, and I don't blame you. It's not the kind of thing I'd want to be broadcasted around, even though I went through something similar. Not quite the same, though," he said, watching her reaction.

   She didn't say anything, and he focused on his cup as he told her.

   "My wife, Lori, slept with my best friend Shane. She thought I was dead. It was right when everything started, and I'd been in the hospital."

   Gina knew some of this story. He'd told her before about being shot and in a coma, and that he'd reunited with his family about a month later.

   "I guess it wasn't really cheating since she thought I was dead, but Shane was my best friend. I was as close to him as I am to Daryl now. It felt like a betrayal, and I watched as he became unhinged, unwilling to step aside and accept that she was my wife and that Carl was my son."

   Rick took a long drink, and when he continued, she could hear the regret in his voice. "I had to kill him. I had to take him out before he killed me first. And I spent the next several months freezing Lori out, blaming her for what I had to do to my best friend. We were living like strangers, and I was too proud to see the role I played. I mean, it's not like we were in a great place when the world ended. I could've been a better husband. But that male pride," he said with a smirk, "it really messes you up. All I had to do was forgive her, tell her I understood and forgive myself, and I just couldn't do it. We never made up before she died, and I've lived with that regret since the day Judith was born."

   When she was able to speak, Gina looked over his head, staring at the wall. "Why did you tell me this?"

   "Because I know all about self-sabotage, and I've never seen someone sabotage their happiness more than Negan does. He's a fucking mess of a human being."

   Gina let out a dark chuckle. "I don't disagree with you, there."

   "When he told me what happened, I punched him in the face," he told her with a smile and she had to laugh again. "It felt really good," Rick admitted without guilt, grinning widely before becoming serious again. "I think of you as family, and even him, I suppose, and I was pissed that he'd screw up a good thing, yet again."

   "I feel the same about you, Rick. I never would've thought so all those years ago, but it's amazing what we can overcome." She was sincerely touched that he'd had that kind of reaction on her behalf.

   "That's kind of my point," he told her as he reached out and placed his hand over hers. "I'm not saying I think you should take him back. I just want you to know that Negan's motives for last night were spurred on by his guilt, and his desire to do something to win you back."

   "He has a girlfriend," Gina snapped, and Rick squeezed her hand.

   "That's another thing," he sighed, his eyes narrowing and she started to get nervous. "I promised I would never say anything, but this is getting stupid."

   "Rick..."

   "Bethany isn't his girlfriend."

   She shook her head, denying his words as her blood started to pump rapidly through her heart. "Fuck buddy. Whatever you want to call her."

   "They've never even kissed. They're just friends."

   "You're lying for him," she whispered, and she could feel her pulse throbbing in her neck.

   "I'm not lying. I would never lie to you," he insisted, but he didn't seem offended. "He just spends time with her, and they talk. She's not interested in him in the slightest. Bethany is just trying to help him."

   "Help him what?" she asked, and her voice was high.

   "Help him stop being such a fuckup. They've done a lot of, I don't want to say counseling, but he's been trying to delve down deep into why he continually screws up with you."

   It was all too much. Too much information and too much confusion running through her system. She was overwhelmed with it, all of which should have come from Negan. The man that she refused to let explain himself because she was rightly hurt and betrayed by him.

   "And why does he, do you think?" she wondered perversely.

   Rick chuckled again before composing himself. "Negan is a psychiatrist's wet dream, and if we had one here, I'm sure they'd be ecstatic to have such a ripe specimen. But my feeling, from what he told me, is because of fear."

   "Fear? He's the most fearless person I've ever known."

   "Fear specifically related to you." Rick was watching her, gauging how well she was taking in the information he was providing. "Think about it. When you met him, he was the leader of the Sanctuary. He protected you and oversaw everything. Now, you're the one in charge."

   "Because he wanted me to be," she interjected, feeling defensive. "I never asked for it and I never wanted it."

   "He knows that. But he's watched you blossom from someone that depended on him to a woman that can take care of herself and everyone else. I think part of him is proud of you, but he's also afraid that you don't need him anymore."

   "So he fucks another woman?"

   Rick shook his head. "I know, I know. But it's his default way to hurt people. He knows now that he hurt himself more than anyone else because he doesn't have you anymore."

   Gina stared down at her ring finger. The line from where her gold band sat was still faint. There was still a tiny indentation, and she didn't say anything for a long time.

   "He broke my trust."

   "I know that, and so does he. And I think, deep down, he still holds out hope that he can earn it back."

   Her head snapped up, and Rick was watching her thoughtfully. "How stupid would I have to be to ever trust him again?"

   "I don't think I'd call you stupid. Many other couples have gotten past it before. I'm not saying that it wouldn't take time and effort, and a lot of continued introspection on his part, but anything is possible. Like I said," Rick told her in a soft voice, "I'm not a professional, but I don't think it was about the sex. It was a surefire way for him to speed up what he always feared would happen. That you'd leave him."

   Gina's eyes unfocused as she thought about him and Annabeth again. Negan's proclamation that he'd never even finished screwing her. Not that it made a difference. He'd still engaged in what should have been a sacred act between the two of them. The most intimate thing they shared. The sickening feeling overwhelmed her, and she pushed herself away from the table.

   "I don't think I can ever forget it. I'll never be able to stop imagining him with that woman. He shattered my heart and my self-esteem, all for nothing. I would have never left him, never hurt him or discounted him," she told Rick, carrying her cup into the kitchen and setting it down roughly in the sink.

   Rick came to stand beside her, and he leaned against the counter, crossing one leg over the other.

   "Can I ask you one more question, and I'll let the matter drop?"

   She nodded as she stared out the window, watching the waves. They were choppy this morning, and they crested slightly, soft white foam popping up and disappearing almost before she could blink. It was probably a metaphor for something, but she didn't know what.

   "When you watched the two of them fighting, who were you most worried about?"

   "What do you mean?" she replied, knowing exactly where he was going with this question.

   "Deep down, you cared more about what happened to one over the other. You didn't want one of them to get seriously hurt. Which one?"

   Gina brought her thumb up to her mouth, chewing on the skin around her nail as she stared ahead, refusing to answer, but it didn't matter. Rick knew the truth anyway.

   "I'm going to head home," he said gently as she looked at him once again.

   "Can the kids stay there just a little longer?" she asked, turning her body so that they were both facing the fridge.

   "Absolutely."

   "I'd like to talk to you about something else, later today. If you could bring them to my office, I'd be grateful."

   "Am I in trouble for something?" Rick asked, giving her a silly grin.

   "No, but it just might be punishment," she retorted, bumping her shoulder into his. He shook his head as he stood up straight, and she followed him back through the dining room into the living room.

   "So, I lied, there's one other thing," he said, pulling on his boots, "and this is the cop part of me talking."

   Gina stood above him, curious. "What?"

   "Any guy that gets that unhinged that quickly after starting a relationship is trouble."

   "John warned me that he had a problem with jealousy," she confessed, and Rick looked up sharply.

   "He told you?"

   "He said he'd been cheated on before, and that he got a little possessive, but that I should just call him on it if it got out of control," she recalled, and Rick's eyes narrowed.

   "Gina," he began, and she could hear the disappointment. Feeling contrary, she threw out her hands.

   "I didn't know," she barked out, her heart speeding up with irritation.

   "I'll let it drop," he sighed, walking to the door. "I'm just concerned. He reminds me a lot of Shane." The door closed behind him and Gina was alone once again, her head swimming with random thoughts and feelings, none of which she could nail down.

   Twenty minutes later, she closed her door, locking it behind her and walking towards the gate. The guards had seen her approaching, and they had it opened before she even had to ask. Gina tried to avoid as much eye contact as she could, and she felt questioning eyes on her as she passed through. She was absolutely positive that everyone in town knew what happened the night before. _Fucking men_ , she thought sourly. Women always had reputations as gossipers, but in her experience, it was always males who knew more about what was going on in their little community.

   The wind blew gently as she made her way over to the other peninsula, and she knocked on Negan's door. He didn't answer, so she knocked harder, pounding on the glass with the side of her fist until she saw him stumble out of what she assumed was his bedroom. He approached the door, blinking rapidly as he tried to focus, and once he spied her, he unlocked it, opening it widely.

   She stepped in cautiously, looking around. It was a mess. There were bottles scattered across every flat surface, and it looked like he had broken a glass because there were shards everywhere in the little dining room. Gina set her bag on the couch, perching next to it as he stood frozen at the door, watching her warily. Taking a good look at his appearance, her lips melted into a frown.

   Negan was still in his clothes from the night before, and there was blood spattered all over his shirt. His hair was sticking up everywhere, and his face was a mess. He already had a black eye, and it was swelled nearly shut. There were marks on his neck from where John had gripped him, and he had multiple scratches across his cheeks.

   Her eyebrows rose, waiting for him to do something, and he finally shut the door, shuffling off and returning with a broom and dustpan. Gina sat there quietly as he swept the pieces of glass into a pile, bending over with a grunt to pick it up. When he went into the kitchen to throw it away, she carried her bag to the table, unzipping it and pulling out medical supplies.

   Seeming unsure, Negan edged his way back into the room, and she pointed to the chair. She stood over him, checking his face but refusing to meet his gaze. Wisely, he didn't try to talk, so she wiped his face, using several of her antiseptic towelettes to clean the cuts.

   It wasn't until she started on his knuckles that he ended the silence, and she kept her head down, affixing bandages one at a time.

   "He pushed you."

   "I don't think he meant to," she responded, not looking up. Peeling off another backing, she pressed it down firmly, holding it in place, and the edge of her thumb made contact with his skin, the first time she'd willingly touched him in months.

   "It doesn't matter if he meant to or not, he hurt you."

   " _You_ hurt me," she snapped, her eyes flashing with anger and pain as she locked gazes with him. "You hurt me far worse than any shove."

   "Gina, I'm sorry," he replied, his voice rough. "I can never say I'm sorry enough, I know that. I've tortured myself ever since I made the worst mistake of my life. I've done so many goddamn motherfucking things wrong in my years, but that's the one that haunts me the most."

   The two of them stared at each other, both of them looking for something different. He was looking for absolution, and she was searching for anything that she could hold onto from their life together.

   "I have to go," she said, pulling her eyes away from him and standing up. She balled up the wrappers in her hand, and he reached out to take them. Their skin met once again, and she felt that pull towards him, the one that she fought to free herself from time and again. He must have felt it too, because he had ahold of the back of her neck before she could even react, and he smashed his lips against hers as she stood, immobilized by fear.

   The heat from his breath stung her mouth, and her eyes closed on their own, awash in stinging liquid. It wasn't until his body pressed against her that she finally reacted, pushing him away roughly.

   "No," she cried out, the tears spilling down her cheeks as he inhaled, drawing the deepest breath he could. "You can't force me into forgiveness."

   She sped past him, leaving the bag behind as she flew through his porch, swinging the door with a bang. Her stride was long as she fled towards the gates, into safety, and she didn't stop until the metal closed behind her with a loud clank.

   The wall was freezing, and it leached into her bones as she rested against it, trying to collect herself. John's house was steps away, and once she felt a semblance of control again, she walked towards it, knocking softly. He opened the door almost immediately, and she was taken aback at his appearance. His nose was definitely broken, and both of his eyes had black bruises underneath. He, too, looked like he hadn't slept, and his demeanor was guarded.

   "We need to talk," she told him, thrusting her hands into her pockets.


	72. Chapter 72

   Casey came skipping into her office, giving Gina a hug as she climbed onto her lap. Rick and Carl followed behind her, and Rick had Michael in his arms. Carl was holding Judith's hand, and the little girl was looking around, her cheeks pink from the cold.

   "Happy New Year, baby," she said, kissing Casey on the lips. Her skin was icy, and she pressed her fingers to Gina's neck, sending a shiver down her spine.

   "It's so cold, mom," she told her.

   "I can feel it. Thanks for sharing."

   Gina took her hands, rubbing them between her own to warm them up as Rick sat down, removing Michael's hat and coat. He was babbling up a storm, and he reached out for her over the desk. As they made the exchange, Rick gave her a funny look before turning to Carl.

   "Hey, why don't you take Casey and your sister into the warehouse. They should have a list of our supplies since I didn't pick them up the other day."

   Casey smiled shyly at Carl, getting on the ground as Gina watched her, avoiding eye contact with Rick.

   "Come on, kid," he told her, scooping Judith up in his arms and holding out his free hand. Casey took it, and the three of them disappeared out her door, closing it with a bang. It startled Michael, who let out a cry, and Gina pulled him to her chest, rocking him slightly until he calmed down.

   Rick was still eyeing her, and she gave him a guilty glance.

   "Why are your hands shaking? What happened?"

   She kissed Michael's head, rubbing it to try to calm herself down. Gina hadn't even noticed that her hands were trembling, and she took a deep breath before responding.

   "I went to see John."

   

 

   He'd let her in, and she followed him over to his table, sitting down opposite him, refusing to take her coat off.

   "I wanted to see you last night," he told her, trying to reach to grab her hand, but she kept them out of his reach, looking at him steadily.

   "I didn't have anything to say to you last night," she said. "I needed some time to think."

   The bruises under his eyes were large, almost black in appearance, and the swelling in his nose was so bad that every time he took a breath, it made a rattling sound. John pulled his hands back, laying them on the table, each one balled up in a fist.

   "I know I overreacted," he stated, staring into her eyes.

   "That wasn't just an overreaction," she replied diplomatically. "That was something else. But it's not just that. You also seemed to have a problem with Rick at first, and it made me feel uncomfortable."

   "I talked to Rick," he insisted, clearly not hearing what she was saying.

   "After I worked my ass off to find something for you to talk about. John, I like you, I do. But I'm on the council here. And I have to deal with everyone, men and women. I can't be worrying that everyone I talk to is going to piss you off."

   "Gina, I told you that I can get a bit possessive. I know it's a fault of mine, and I'm working on that. I will work on it."

   "I know that you did," she said, trying to smile understandingly. "And I think it's great that you recognize that it's an issue for you. But whatever you feel for Negan, it's not for you to feel. You don't even know him."

   His eyes hardened, and she knew that he was offended. He looked her up and down before responding.

   "I know enough. I know that I had you in my bed crying over the things he's done to you, so excuse me if I tried to defend you."

   "I don't need anyone to defend me," she said, getting upset. "I'm capable of handling Negan on my own. I didn't ask for you to defend my honor, and I certainly didn't need you beating the shit out of him for no reason."

   He slammed his fists into the table, and she jumped, shrinking back into the chair. "He cornered you out there, and you were upset. Don't try to deny it."

   "I'm not denying it," she said, her stomach contracting nervously. "If I had a dollar for every time he upset me, I'd be rich. But he's the father of my children. He lives here and I have to have a relationship with him, no matter what."

   She felt the urge to get out of this house, away from him, but Gina wasn't sure how to do it. He was obviously angry, and though she didn't think he'd physically harm her, she couldn't be sure.

   "I think we need to take a step back," she told him, and he narrowed his eyes. "I feel like this is going too fast, and I have to focus on my kids."

   "You're going to go back to him, aren't you?"

   "This has nothing to do with Negan. I just-," she stammered. "It's only been a couple of months since I ended my marriage."

   He stood up, and she did as well, edging her way to the door. John moved a step towards her, and she froze.

   "You came to me," he reminded her. "You asked me out. You brought me up to your room and tried to sleep with me. You put yourself out there for me, and now all of a sudden, it's too much? And I watched you walk past my house this morning. You didn't bother to check on me. You went to see that cheating fucker first."

   "John, I'm sorry. I really thought I was ready to move on, but-"

   "So it _is_ about him," he snarled, and she took another step towards the door.

   "It's not," she insisted, her heart pounding in her chest. "It's about me. A lot has happened in a very short span of time."

   A warning bell went off in her head, and something told her to shut up, to stop talking for once in her life. He had size to his advantage and a strong grip. He was capable of hurting her if he really wanted to, and no one other than the people at the gate knew she was here. It could've just been her fear, but she was acutely aware of his proximity to her. He was only an arm's length away, and she stood stiffly, waiting for him to say something.

   "You'll go back to him," he said dismissively. "Women like you always do, if you haven't already." The venom dripped from every word, and his eyes were dull. It was like there was nothing behind them.

   "I'm sorry," she said again, inching away from him.

   "Don't bother."

   He turned around, and she hightailed it towards the door, taking a ragged breath when she was out in the open.

   

 

   Rick looked furious, and she shook her head. "Maybe I was just looking for something that wasn't there after talking to you this morning. I could've just been too upset."

   "Don't," he said, staring her down. "Don't make excuses. We're given the ability to sense danger for a reason."

   "I feel so stupid," she admitted, laying Michael down in the crook of her arm before continuing. "I'm just thinking of things that should have given me pause, but I didn't notice at the time."

   "Like what?"

   She told him about the day after Christmas and John's anger and threat to go to Negan's house. About some of the things he'd said in passing, things that didn't sound odd to her at first, but now, in the cold light of day, set her teeth on edge.

   "When we would, uh, you know," she mumbled, averting her eyes, "he'd repeat that I was his over and over. And, his grip could be strong when he'd hug me. But he's a big guy," Gina reasoned. "Even the first time he ever saw Negan, he seemed to not like him immediately. He'd just watch him at meetings."

   "Well, that might not be so off," he said, trying to lighten the mood. "Everyone hates him at first."

   Gina smiled, but it didn't last, and she put Michael on her shoulder since he was fussing, patting his back. "I really screwed up."

   "You didn't screw up," he assured her, but it didn't help the sense of shame that she felt.

   "I did. I was in such a hurry to try to heal that I rushed into something with the first attractive guy I saw."

   "Ouch," he winced, and she flipped him off.

   "You know what I mean."

   Rick leaned over, taking the pen that sat on her desk, tapping it in his hand as she kissed the side of Michael's face, his eyes drifting shut.

   "Anyway, the lesson is burned into my brain. But the reason I wanted to see you, is more pressing."

   "Okay."

   "I want you to join the council," she said, watching as he bit at the inside of his cheek. "I need you with me. Devin, Trevor, and Clinton are great, but they don't have the experience that you have."

   There were several expressions that crossed his face, and she could see that he was battling with them all.

   "You've seen and done things that none of them have. You have the best interests of this place at heart, and those psychos are still out there. I need you. We all need you."

   "I don't know," he said, gripping the pen in his fist. "I'm still raw, and I'm not always thinking clearly."

   "That's not true," she told him, looking him in the eye. "You know what we need to do to keep this place safe, and you're better than anyone I know at reacting offensively instead of defensively. Together, the five of us can make sure that what happened to Alexandria never happens here. You can train the best people we've got, and maybe we can figure out a way to get back what they've taken away."

   Gina opened her top drawer, pulling out a new radio. She placed it on the desk in front of him, and he stared down at it.

   "It's time," she said with an air of confidence. "It's time for you to step up and help lead this community. Help lead our people."

   The only sound in the office was Michael's soft breathing, and for a minute she thought that he'd refuse, but Rick took the radio, attaching it to his hip as he stood up.

   "I'll be back."

   Relief warmed her heart, and she tilted her head back, closing her eyes as he left. She only opened them when Carl returned, carrying his sister and two sacks of food. Casey came over to her, kissing the baby while he slept, and the four of them waited in her office for a while. When Rick didn't return right away, she bundled the kids up, taking them back to her house.

   She left Carl in charge of watching the kids while she fixed lunch, and Michael slept in his swing as she got them all fed. Casey sat with Judith, helping her get the food into her mouth while Gina made small talk with Carl, who ate two huge servings of pasta. When he was done, he carried his plate into the kitchen.

   "Is it all right if I go hang with Julian for a while? We've almost solved the video game he got for Christmas."

   "Sure. Just leave Judith here. She can play with Casey."

   Carl surprised her, giving her a quick kiss on the cheek before hurrying out, and she stared at the door long after he left, coming out of it only after Casey called to her.

   Rousing herself, she cleaned off Judith's face, getting the spaghetti sauce mostly off, carrying her into the living room where she and Casey sat together on the floor, playing with Barbie's until Michael woke up. He was hungry, and she brought his high chair into the living room, feeding him while the girls ran around playing tag.

   Between bites, it gave her time to think about her conversation with John, and she felt like a fool. She was either the unluckiest woman in the world when it came to relationships, or she had the worst taste in men. Hindsight was 20/20, and she could see now that she was blinded by physical attraction, latching onto the first person who held her interest. Talia was right when she told her that another man couldn't heal her. It had only made things worse.

   Negan had a nasty temper, and a passionate way about him, but in all their time together, she had never been palpably afraid of him, even at the Sanctuary. Could her hurt her with words? Absolutely, and had done so on a number of occasions. Would he have thrown her in a cell? Deprived her of luxuries? Sure. But he would not and could not have ever hurt her physically. She knew that deep down with every fiber of her being. He had beaten and maimed many people, but even when her mouth got the better of her, and she lashed out at him like no one else dared to do, he never so much as laid a hand on her, other than to restrain her.

   John, on the other hand, frightened her today. She could only hope that he was so disgusted with her that he would refuse to have anything to do with her. A part of her also wondered if the cheating story he told her was even true. Maybe the poor soul that dated him didn't do anything, and he'd just flipped out on her, the same was he did with Gina.

   The bowl was empty, and Michael was full, so she cleaned up, setting him on the floor before bringing in the cd player and turning it on. She pulled out an old 70's compilation, turning it up as she picked him back up. Casey and Judith came over, and they held an impromptu dance party. Judith bobbed up and down with a toothy smile as Casey held her hands. Gina had no problem making an ass of herself for the kids, and she sang along as she bounced Michael in her arms, causing him to belly laugh as he gripped her cheeks.

   He looked at her so happily that she felt her spirits rise with every beat of the music. The only man who loved her unconditionally, she realized, and she promised herself that she'd do anything in her power to keep seeing that look on his face. An old Partridge Family song came on, and she sang to him at the top of her lungs, holding him up to her face until she felt Judith tugging on her pants, wanting to be held, too. She had to balance both of them on each hip, and her arms started to ache as she moved through the living room, stopping only when she turned towards the door and saw that Rick was standing there watching her, looking embarrassed for her.

   Casey turned off the music, and he strolled in, taking Judith from her as she sat down on the couch, breathing heavily.

   "How long were you standing there?" she asked, narrowing her eyes at him as he took the cushion next to her.

   "Long enough," he said, laughing under his breath. Casey asked if she could go to her room, and Gina told her it was okay, leaving the two of them with the little ones.

   "Carl went to hang with Julian," she informed him. "I fed them lunch, but Judy probably needs a bath. We had spaghetti."

   "Dance, dada," Judith said, pulling on a lock of his hair.

   "Dada doesn't dance," he told her, kissing her cheek as she tried to push him away. "Dada would make you cry if you had to see him dance."

   She pouted her lips, pulling harder on his hair, and Gina tried not to grin. They were so cute together, and she thought briefly about Negan and Casey. Fathers and daughters were a special thing unto themselves.

   "I'm sorry it took me so long."

   "Where'd you go?" she asked, turning to the side as she leaned back against the arm of the couch, bouncing Michael slightly.

   "I had a little talk with John."

   "Rick-"

   "It's my duty as a council member," he said, giving her a knowing look. "And as your friend. But if he bothers you, or you feel anything is off at all, I want to know immediately." He tapped the radio for emphasis.

   "Please don't tell Negan about this."

   "I won't, as long as everything stays on an even keel. I don't like anything about John, and I don't have any problem taking care of the situation. But these are Negan's kids, and if there are any concerns, he has to be told."

   Gina had to agree. But she knew that he could make a bad situation ten times worse, and so did Rick. "Thank you, as a friend and a fellow council member."

   After getting Rick some lunch, he took Judith home so that she could get a nap, and Gina got Casey and Michael bathed. She wasn't sure if Negan would come by to see the kids, but hopefully, he'd wait a day or so. His face was a mess, and Casey would ask questions.

   She didn't get any sleep the night before, so by the time the kids went to sleep, she was on borrowed time, managing to get her pajamas on before passing out. Her last thought was that tomorrow had to be a better day.

   She never knew how wrong one person could be.


	73. Chapter 73

  
   The sky was blue, the sort of clear, deep azure blue that Gina usually associated with summer, and she was itching to get out on the road. It had warmed up considerably overnight, and the day was shaping up to be unseasonably pleasant.

   She was seated at her desk, surrounded by men, all of whom were droning on about the plans for the wall to be fortified. It wasn't that she wasn't interested in the information, but she wanted to get on the road. Gina and Rick were scheduled to head to Arcadia, both so she could introduce him to Johnson as their newest council member, and to collect some food.

   Their provisions were high, but she had seafood to exchange, and she wanted to keep them ahead of the game for as long as possible.

   "We can head to the scrap yard," Clinton was saying, pointing to the map. "Round up as much metal as we can to reinforce what we already have."

   "I'll come along," Devin offered. "Everyone's squared away on guard, and the point is armed," he told them, referring to the building they designated a while ago as the initial watch tower. Daryl was put in charge of their training once he decided to stay, and the men and women who manned it were overseen by him personally.

   "Great," Rick said, nodding as Gina packed up her ledger. Trevor, Clinton, and Devin all seemed to be buying into having Rick on the council, not that she'd needed to sell it hard. Once she explained who he was to her and his background, they'd deferred to her on the decision to bring him on board.

   "Are you ready?" Gina asked, standing up as the four men glanced at her. "You said you wanted to stop at the Kingdom first and daylight's burning."

   Devin smirked at her before looking at Rick. "Get used to that. She's very bossy."

   Gina shot him a dirty look and Rick laughed. "I already know that, trust me. I've known her longer than you."

   "Tell Johnson I said 'hi'," Devin called after her, and she left them all in the dust as she stepped outside, squinting her eyes in the bright sun.

   Rick caught up to her halfway to the gate, and he kept pace with her as she swung her bag back and forth, happy to be getting away. John and Negan were at the back of her mind, and the closer they got to the truck, the better she felt. Negan hadn't shown up this morning, so Gina took the kids to Tina's, asking Devin to make sure Negan picked them up this afternoon.

   Surprisingly, she'd gotten a full night's sleep, except for when Michael got up for his bottles. And now, she was outside with no coat on, enjoying the sea breeze as she walked.

   Jeff was waiting at the truck for them, holding the key in his hand. As she went around to get into the passenger side, she saw the curtains move in John's window, and she shivered slightly, opening the door and closing it firmly. Once she was inside, she continued to stare straight ahead.

   "Devin," she said, pressing the button on her radio.

   "Yeah." He answered back almost immediately, and Rick climbed in next to her.

   "Can you please head over as soon as possible to talk to Negan? I want to make sure he gets the kids today after work."

   "No problem. I'll head over there now."

   Rick glanced at her out of the corner of her eye, but she kept quiet. He knew why she was worried, but there was nothing either of them could do about it at the moment. He had gone to talk to John and let him know in no uncertain terms that Gina was no longer interested in him.

   The gates rolled open, and they set off down the street. It wasn't until they were on the highway that Rick spoke up, and she lit up a cigarette.

   "Clinton's going to take John with him to the scrap yard. He'll be gone all day."

   "You're the best," she told him with a smile, but he didn't smile back.

   "I saw him watching you out the window."

   Gina took a deep drag, blowing it out the window, though a big cloud of it flew back in her face.

   "You need to be careful, too," she warned him. "I'm sure he didn't appreciate you coming to talk to him."

   "Like I told you, I've handled guys like him before."

   "I know, but we have enough on our plates without worrying about some jilted nutbag. I have half a mind to kick him out of town, but who knows what he'd do on the other side of the wall?"

  Rick chuckled, and they changed topics. Apparently, the babymoon was over and Talia and Daryl were settling into the day-to-day of being new parents, and it left them bickering, though not about anything serious. Since Daryl was helping at the point, Talia was spending more time alone with the baby, and by the time he got back in the evening, she was fried.

   One of their newer members was a middle-aged woman named Ronnie, and she'd been helping out at Tina's with the kids on school days. Possibly she'd be available a few days a week to assist Talia and give her a break. She appeared to be really good with the kids, and she'd bonded with her Michael. In fact, Gina wasn't sure if he ever spent any time out of either woman's arms when he was with them.

   Carl was also bugging his father incessantly to go out with Trevor on one of the boats. They were prepping for their next trip, and he had asked her to put a good word in for him yesterday at lunch. She turned down the god-awful song that Rick was humming to, and his eyebrow rose.

   "So..."

   "So...what?" he asked, his eyebrows still up near his hairline.

   "Carl and I were talking yesterday, and he told me about wanting to go out with Trevor."

   Rick let out a disgusted sigh, and she pursed her lips.

   "I told him he's too young."

   "He's sixteen," she reminded him, reaching into the console and pulling out her sunglasses. "He wants to see if it's what he wants to do, and he wants to contribute."

   Rick didn't reply, so she continued on. "I know it makes you nervous, him being out on the open sea, but they're only going for a two-day trip. Reedville is a fishing village, and it's what our guys did long before the world went to hell. They're professionals, and Trevor is a damn good captain. He'd never put any of their lives at risk, especially not Carl's."

   "I know that," he said. "The rational part of me knows that, but the other part of me worries about him. He's my son."

   "Really? I didn't know that," she retorted, rolling her eyes, but he couldn't see it, so the gesture was unappreciated.  "Seriously," she told him. "It's the first thing I've seen him excited about since you guys got here."

   She could see his face tense up, and she left him alone, busying herself with her ledger. Carl had been struggling since the transition, and he finally seemed to be getting back to the confident kid she remembered. The truck jerked suddenly, speeding up, and she was just about to make a smart comment when she looked up and saw why.

   They were a few miles away from the Kingdom, and there were large blooming clouds of smoke pouring into the sky.

   "Rick, slow down," she warned him, but he ignored her, gunning the engine as they flew down the road, narrowly missing an old car that sat along the edge of the grass.

   "Rick, we don't know what we're driving into. We have to wait and make sure they're gone."

   Reaching out, she grabbed his arm, and he slowed down a bit, still fast, but they would be able to get a good view before arriving at the Kingdom gates. The closer they got, the more the smoke seemed to fill up the sky, and she unbuckled her seat belt, grabbing the weapons bag from the back seat of the truck. Gina had the bag unzipped in seconds, and she handed him a gun as he slammed to a stop, throwing her forward.

   He was out the door before her, and she brought the bag with her, throwing it over her shoulder as she jogged to keep up with him. The walls to the Kingdom were ripped apart, and the only word to describe the scene would be massacre. Bodies were strewn across the grounds, some of them shot, and some torn apart. There were craters in the ground from grenades, and the large school was in three distinct pieces. The air stunk with fire and death, dust and blood.

   She lost sight of Rick as she tried to step over the bodies, coming to a stop when she spied one that was wearing armor.

   "Rick!"

   Gina was on alert, her gun cocked as she turned towards the voice. One of the back buildings was still intact, and she took off as Rick reached the door, embracing someone. When she got closer, she saw that it was Carol, and she was crying. Her shirt was in tatters, and she had a gunshot wound on her shoulder.

   Slowly, more people began to emerge, and they were almost all injured in some way or another. King Ezekiel was the last to come out of the small barracks, and he limped towards them, holding an empty collar.

  "They attacked before dawn," he croaked out, taking Carol's hand. "They took my Shiva."

   "Took her?"

   "One of the attackers shot her with a tranquilizer gun, I think," Carol said flatly. "Before they retreated, they loaded her up in one of their trucks."

    _What the fuck?_

   Gina did a quick census while they stood in a group, and there were only a few people. Carol, Ezekiel, Maggie and her baby, Jesus, Tara and a few Kingdom people that she had only seen in passing, some of them only children.

   "Did they take anyone?" Gina questioned, her gun still gripped tightly in her hand.

   "They took Richard, Aaron, and Steve, one of the guards," Maggie told her, not looking her in the eye. She wondered why for a moment until she remembered that Negan killed her husband. Swallowing thickly, she retreated, heading back towards the armor wearing corpse, kneeling down and yanking off the helmet.

   It was a woman, and she appeared to be in her late twenties or early thirties. She had brown hair, and her eyes stared up vacantly at the sky, a dirty brown. Extracting her knife, Gina stabbed her in the temple, assuring that she wouldn't be returning.

   "Her neck was broken," Jesus said, and she jumped. He was so stealthy that she didn't even notice that he was standing just off to her right.

   "How do you know?"

   "I'm the one that broke it," he told her, kneeling down next to her.

   Gina lifted up the dead woman's arm, examining the outfit as she frowned.

   "This is military grade shit," she murmured. "Were they driving armored vehicles too?"

   "Yes," he answered. "They were in and out in probably twenty minutes, and they were equipped to the balls. Some of them took out the guards on foot before the trucks came crashing through."

   "Did you see it?" she asked, dropping the woman's arm, and it hit the ground with a thump. Gina rifled through the corpse's pockets, but they were empty. There was nothing on this body to tell them who they were or where they were coming from. Maybe they lived on one of the bases.

   "I was up early this morning," he responded, staring at the woman's face. "I couldn't sleep, and I didn't want to wake Aaron, so I figured I'd come outside and exercise. It relaxes me."

   Trying to keep her face neutral, she listened to him as he described the horror of what he witnessed. It was brutal, it was tactical and it was precise. Jesus was too far to reach the armory, but with darkness on his side, he was able to sneak up on three of the strangers, taking each one out by breaking their necks.

   "When I got back to the barracks, Aaron was gone," he said, his voice catching in his throat. "I searched the entire compound, but he's gone. They took him."

   Stretching over, she gave him a quick hug, and he leaned his forehead on her shoulder for a moment before composing himself, and she set her knife down to roll the body over.

   "What are you doing?"

   Gina jumped again, this time because Rick was now standing next to them, and she patted her chest before focusing back on the body.

   "We're taking this armor. We need to strip it off of everyone that Jesus killed."

   Neither man questioned her, and Jesus helped her remove both the fatigues and the heavily plated material, tossing it in a pile with the helmet. When they were done, he led her to the two other remaining bodies, both of which were women, while Rick and Ezekiel went through the town, locating anything that was still useful. All of the Kingdom's vehicles had been trashed, save one, an old Oldsmobile that was hidden in the school garage.

   Everyone gathered by the car, and Gina addressed them all as Rick stood next to her. "You're all welcome to come to Reedville, and you're free to stay as long as you like. I know Ezekiel will probably want to rebuild, but you'll always have a place with us if you want it."

   "I can't go there," Maggie said, looking at Rick instead of her. "I'm sorry, but I just can't."

   Gina couldn't blame her, and she thought long and hard about what to do to resolve the conflict. A thought popped into her head, and she spoke up again, this time looking at Tara.

   "We'll take you guys to Arcadia."

   Tara looked from her to Rick. "What the hell is Arcadia?"

   "It's one of the other communities we deal with," he explained. "That's where we were headed today."

   "I'm sure Johnson will be glad to take you in. Anyone that doesn't want to stay at Reedville doesn't have to. I know you're going through hell right now, and you need time to recover, process and grieve. You should do that where you're comfortable. Arcadia is a good place. It's a farming community."

   The remaining Kindomers clustered together, conferring amongst themselves as she and Rick took a few steps away. The dead would have to wait. They needed to get out of here.

   "Are you sure this Johnson guy is going to agree with this?" Rick asked, searching her eyes. He was shellshocked, and Gina was sure this was bringing back horrible memories for him.

   "It's going to cost us," she admitted. "He's going to rake us over the coals when it comes to supplies, but it's worth it. Plus, he'll be getting a helluva group of people. And Johnson values talent."

   Gina took a step closer to him, and her voice was soft. "Hang in there just a little longer, okay?"

   Rick gave her shoulder a squeeze before walking back over to the group. Gina went to get the armor, stuffing it in a bag that Jesus found for her, and she met Rick, Ezekiel, Carol and Jesus by the truck. The latter three got into the back seat, and Gina tossed the bag into the bed of the truck. The rest of the survivors were going to ride in the Olds, sandwiched in like sardines.

   The ride was quiet, and each of them sat hunched over, staring blindly ahead as Gina drove. Rick didn't fight her when she took the keys from him, and she knew he was stewing, feeling a sense of deja vu. Months of peace and quiet meant nothing, and this other group was still attacking, still targeting communities. With one hand on the wheel, she leaned over, opening the glove box and grabbing the long range radio.

   Pressing the button twice, she waited five seconds before pressing it again three more times. Chuck answered immediately, and she held the radio to her mouth, talking loudly through the spattered static.

   "Chuck, get backup and round up everyone on the outer peninsulas. Get them behind the walls and call back Clinton's group."

   "Yes, ma'am," he replied, not questioning her orders.

   "Alert me when everyone is accounted for."

   "We're on it."

   Arcadia was closer to home than the Kingdom, so he would be able to reach her no matter what they were doing. She wanted to be back home as quickly as they could, to make sure her people were safe, most of all her children. And Negan. The realization that they were once again on the verge of war haunted her, and if they couldn't find this group and neutralize them, she could lose everything that mattered to her.

   Rick turned his head, looking at Carol who was seated behind her.

   "Rosita?"

   In the rearview mirror, she could see Carol's lips quivering as she shook her head. Rick ran his hands through his hair, gripping it as he took a deep breath. Another friend of his lost, and she stepped on the gas, making sure that the Olds could keep up with her.

   They pulled up to the outer fence, and Terry approached, looking wary.

   "Gina," he greeted her, and she stuck out her arm to shake his hand.

   "We were originally coming for our normal exchange," she informed him. "But there's been another attack."

   "Let them through," Terry ordered, waving his arm.

   Johnson was waiting at the farmhouse when they pulled up, and he opened the door for her, helping her out.

   "What happened, sweetling?"

   Gina briefly brought him up to speed, waving the survivors forward to introduce them. Ezekiel had to provide her with the names of the people she didn't know, and Johnson shook each one's hand, offering his condolences. For once, he wasn't his usual pig self, and he called one of his girls over, directing her to take the bruised and battered Kingdomers into the house.

   Once it was just him, Rick and herself, she presented Johnson, who greeted Rick formally. It took them a half an hour to hammer out an agreement, and Johnson vowed to let the newcomers recover there as long as they liked, provided they worked while they stayed at Arcadia. In return, Reedville would be compensating them with an additional ten percent more seafood for the standard fifteen percent they got back in crops and dairy.

   All things considered, it could've been worse, and Gina thanked him.

   "We're a dyin' breed," he observed, his eyes following Rick as he went into the main house to spread the word. "We all gotta stick together now."

   Johnson shuffled off towards the house, and Gina sat on the steps to wait. Other than Carol, Jesus and Ezekiel, she didn't know the others very well. She'd mostly dealt with the three when she made her visits. Still, her heart ached for them all, and she very much wanted to get home. They were going to have to make even more changes, and she wanted to get a good look at the armor, determined to find the weak spots, places on the unnamed enemy bodies that she could exploit with bullets.

   When Rick finally emerged, he was followed by Ezekiel, Jesus, and Carol. She stood up, and Rick pulled her aside as the three went to the truck, climbing back in.

   "They want to come with us."

   "Why don't they want to stay with the rest of their people?" she asked.

   "Carol was with us since the beginning, and Jesus wants to be involved in this fight. He said he can't sit on a farm doing nothing. They have Aaron. And Ezekiel is going to go wherever Carol goes."

   "Let's get the fuck out of here, then," she said, fishing the keys out of her pocket. The truck had already been unloaded and restocked, and one of the Arcadians handed her an inventory sheet, a peace offering from Johnson so that she didn't have to count it.

   Halfway home, the long range radio crackled to life, and she waited for the signals before answering.

   "It's Devin. Everyone's safely inside and we're all set up in the warehouse."

   "We'll be back in two hours," Gina told him, handing the radio over to Rick. "Our doctor will look you guys over," she said, glancing back at Carol, who nodded. Her arm had to be killing her, but she hadn't complained once. She had to be the toughest broad Gina knew.

   Something relaxed inside her when they passed the point, and she could see guards watching them as they drove, their guns ready. The gates were open, and the men along the wall were on high alert. Her hands were aching from gripping the wheel tightly the entire way home, and she opened and closed her fingers as she stepped out, handing the keys to Chuck, who got busy unloading the truck.

   Now that they were back, Gina felt free to freak out, and she walked quickly towards her office, closing the door behind her after tossing the armor bag on the chair. Hidden in the back of her drawer was a bottle of whiskey and a glass, and she set them on the desk, staring at them with unfocused eyes until three soft knocks brought her back to the present.

   "Come in."

   The door opened slowly, and by the time he'd made it all the way into the office, she was in tears. She wanted so badly for him to just take over, to spare her from having to make decisions, just for one day. To fret that every choice she made may make the difference between life and death, and she stood up, nearly hyperventilating.

   Gina didn't think, didn't picture Annabeth's face, she just launched herself at Negan, throwing her arms around his shoulders as she sobbed, and he held her silently, rubbing her back while she cried into his neck, soaking his shirt.


	74. Chapter 74

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually bit my nails writing this chapter, something I haven't done in years. I hope you enjoy it!

   "What happened, baby?"

   Negan murmured the question softly into her ear, and it didn't occur to her to mind that he called her that. Gina let go of him, taking a step back towards the desk.

   "The Kingdom was attacked. Almost everyone was wiped out," she told him, reaching for the whiskey with shaking hands. Negan took it from her, opening it and pouring her a finger of the liquid.

   She picked it up, drinking it in one gulp before setting the glass down with a clink. The bag was still sitting on the chair, and she unzipped it, dumping it on the couch that sat by the door. The armor tumbled out, and one of the helmets hit the floor. Negan picked it up, examining it without a word as she thumbed through the pile, slowly calming herself down. Her face was wet with tears, and she wiped them off absently before going back to her chair.

   Negan kept standing, and they looked at each other in silence. His face was still battered, but the scratches looked better. There was only a faint mark on his neck from John's hand, but his eye was still black. He was much calmer than her, probably because he'd seen so much more savagery like this than she had.

   "How many people made it?" he asked, setting the helmet back on the couch before going to lean against the wall.

   "No more than a dozen. Most are staying at Arcadia."

   The office door opened, and Rick came stalking in, followed close behind by Daryl. After a cursory glance at the pile of clothing, Rick sat down in the chair opposite her.

   "Carol's getting treated by Dr. Thomas, and Ezekiel and Jesus are already in the warehouse," Rick said, looking at Negan.

   "Clinton got some of the scrap metal from the junkyard, but we've gotta build up these fucking walls," Negan commented, cracking his knuckles. "Set up the outside so that something can be triggered to take out anyone that tries to ram them."

   "There are still a few bases that may have supplies," Gina interjected, "assuming this group isn't occupying any or all of them. Between our two old communities, we hit the bigger ones, but there's more that we could go to. Arm ourselves as well as they have."

   Daryl picked up one of the vests, studying it with a foul expression.

   "Hey," Gina said, causing him to look up. "How many really good shooters do we have?"

   He squinted at her, thinking for a minute. "About a dozen and a half, including you and me."

   "Well, when they're not on duty, we need to train them to shoot around this armor. Teach them to hit the exposed areas. The neck, behind the knees, all the soft spots."

   Devin knocked on the door before opening it and sticking his head in.

   "Everyone's ready and waiting in the warehouse," he told them.

   "Let them wait." Rick and Negan said it at the same time, and Gina waved him in. They told him quickly about what was going on, and he sat down next to Rick.

   "I'll take a group to one of the bases I was stationed at. It had been looted, but I know some places that other people wouldn't necessarily have checked," he offered.

   "You should go with him," Rick told Negan, who nodded immediately. Gina felt her stomach drop, but Rick gave her a reassuring look. She stood up, and Negan pushed off of the wall, but she walked out of the office towards the warehouse. Rationally, she knew that Negan was one of the best people to send out, but the emotional part of her was ruling her system right now, and after the carnage she'd seen today, the thought of him running headlong into danger as he was so fond of doing was making her physically sick.

   The stage was set up, once again, and Clinton and Trevor were already on it, so she climbed the steps, peeking into the office window as she ascended. The kids were all in there, and she spied Casey's long brown curls, bouncing up and down as she played with Rebecca.

   Ezekiel and Jesus were standing in the back, and she nodded at each of them in way of greeting. John was there as well, and he was sitting up front, watching her with an expressionless gaze. Gina looked at him for only a second, but she saw his arms flex, and it made her anxious, so she ducked behind Clinton, who blocked her view.

   Rick, Daryl, Devin and Negan all filed up the steps, and Daryl came to stand by her. He spied Talia, and a rare smile crossed his face. Negan and Rick took the front of the stage, and Devin hovered a few feet behind them.

   "There's been another attack," Rick announced, not bothering with any pretense. "Our friends at the Kingdom were the target this time, and their community was destroyed."

   You could hear a pin drop, and the crowd remained frozen in their seats.

   "My name is Rick Grimes, and I've recently been placed on the council. I was the leader of Alexandria, and unfortunately, we were also attacked by the same group."

   Gina edged out from behind Clinton, and she noticed that John was watching Negan with interest, and he didn't seem to be listening to Rick. It sent chills straight through her, and she knew Negan needed to know what was going on.

   Everyone else was paying attention, and one of the older residents raised his hand. Rick acknowledged him, and he stood up.

   "Do you have a plan?" he asked, sitting back down.

   "We're going to be reinforcing the wall, to start with," Rick replied before deferring to Negan.

   "Devin and I are going to be taking out a group to a few of the military bases, and we're going to stock up on weapons. Anyone that's willing to volunteer, or has ever worked or lived on the bases is needed. Gina and Daryl," he continued, motioning to the two of them, "are going to be training our best shooters. The Kindom took out three of the enemies, and they're heavily armed. They've got body armor, and now, so do we. So we're going to find the weak spots, learn to take them out."

   "For now, we're pulling everyone that lives on the outer peninsulas. All residents are going to need to stay on the main street, and we're going to have to double up some of the families," Clinton pointed out. "For the fisherman, it's going to be business as usual, unless you're handy with a gun or familiar with the bases."

   Carol slipped into the meeting, joining Ezekiel and Jesus in the back, and Dr. Thomas had patched her up. Her shoulder was wrapped, and she'd been given a clean shirt, the bandages showing through the collar. Gina continued to move towards the front, finally standing next to Rick, earning herself a long glare from John, which didn't escape Negan's attention, and she felt him inch closer to her.

   The meeting didn't end until an hour later, after which time, most of the town seemed reassured by the preparations that the council was taken. John lingered by the warehouse entrance, and Gina made straight for the office, opening the door to hide from him. Casey ran to her, and she lifted her little girl up, kissing her on the forehead. Tina was holding Michael, who was sleeping on her shoulder.

   When she glanced out the window, she saw Negan talking to Bethany, who looked scared. He leaned down to her, pointing towards one of the younger families in town, and she touched him softly on the arm before walking over to him. She lived on the outer peninsula, and Gina assumed that Bethany would be bunking with them for the time being. Negan looked her way, and she turned her head as she set Casey down on her feet.

   Tina, who had missed the meeting, pulled her away from the kids to find out what was said. Gina gave her the basics, assuming that Devin would get into more detail later on. They hugged after Gina took Michael, and when she left the office, Casey ran to Negan, who picked her up.

   "Daddy, your face," she called out, touching his cheek. John was gone, and Gina took a deep breath before heading towards them. "What happened?"

   "I was a big dumb klutz," he told her, "and I walked into a door."

   "Does it hurt?" she asked, her finger pressing on one of the scratches.

   "I've hurt myself much worse," he said, smiling. "I'll be fine in a few days."

   "Come on," Gina interrupted. "Let's get you guys home and fix dinner."

   They passed by Rick, who said he'd stop over later after getting the others settled, and the four of them left the warehouse, heading home. She and Negan walked together, listening to Casey as she told them about school. Michael was completely out, and she shielded his face from the setting sun.

   Once they got to the porch, Negan hesitated, but Gina curled her finger at him, and he followed her up the steps and into the house. She handed him the baby, and he set him in his swing as Casey went up to change her clothes. Gina plopped herself down at the dining room table, waiting for Negan to join her. He sat down across from her, and he waited for her to explain.

   "We need to talk after the kids go to bed," she told him, and his eyes softened. She wasn't sure why.

   "I'll stop back over later," he said, preparing to rise from the table.

   "Where are you going?"

  "I have to get some of my things and figure out who I'm staying with."

   "I'd rather you stay here, with everything that's going on, if you don't have a problem with it," she replied, watching his face. "In the guest bedroom," she added, not wanting him to get the wrong idea.

   Negan sat back down, gripping the edge of the table. "Are you positive that's what you want?"

   Gina nodded, closing her eyes. There was so much going on, both inside and outside the walls, and she didn't want to be alone in the house.

   "I'll be back in an hour," he told her, and when she opened them, he was already gone.

   By the time he returned, the table was set and dinner was ready. He opened the door, dropping a bag by the side table, out of Casey's sight. Giving her a tentative smile, Negan entered the dining room, and Casey got up from her chair, latching herself onto his hip.

   "Are you having dinner with us?"

   "Yes, little darlin', I'm eating here," he said, leaning down to kiss the top of her head.

   Casey hurried back over, grabbing her plate and cup, giving Gina a smile that pierced her heart.

   "I'm going to sit next to Daddy, okay?"

   "Okay, bug."

   She set the plate down with a thump, crawling up onto the chair as Gina pulled Michael towards her so that she could feed him. He was babbling, slapping his hands on the tray as he eyed the pureed vegetables that she held.

   "Go ahead and dig in," she told them, scooping up a spoonful, putting it in Michael's mouth as he grunted. His eyes were focused only on the food, and if she didn't keep the spoon coming, he got upset, so her meal would have to wait, not that she had much of an appetite.

   Negan served Casey first before loading up some of the steaming casserole onto his own dish, and she could feel him watching her. He and Casey ate quickly, and when Gina was done feeding Michael, she wiped his face, making him cry. As she pulled the tray away, Negan took him, sitting him on his lap. She took a small piece of food, taking only a few bites before pushing it away.

   When she straightened up, Negan was observing her, and she shrugged her shoulders. The four of them sat around the table for a few minutes until Negan offered to get the kids bathed. They had eaten late, and Michael was fussing, so he herded them upstairs while she cleaned up. Her hands shook slightly as she washed the dishes, and she felt out of her element.

   The past two days had been stressful, each in their own way. The personal issue with John still bothered her, and the massacre terrified her. It felt like her life inside her house and the one as a leader were both coming undone, each poised to come crashing down around her.

   Rick, Daryl, and Negan were all more experienced than her at fighting large groups of people, so she'd defer to them on most of the strategic elements of the coming days and weeks. Gina would never secede her place on the council, but there was a sense of relief in having Rick's support and leadership.

   Negan, on the other hand, would no doubt step up, and he was going to be invaluable to Rick as they planned to stop an attack before it ever started. The only problem was, he'd be right back in danger, something she fought to keep him from for years. Prayed that he'd never have to do again. No matter what had happened between them, the thought of him getting hurt or killed frightened her like nothing else ever would, aside from her kids being in harm's way.

   She hated him, and she loved him. She always would, and Gina knew now that it would never change. He hurt her time and again, and she always came back for more. It probably said more about her than him, and she loathed that he was her weakness. He was like a drug, and even though she overdosed over and over, she kept coming back for another hit. And thanks to her, he was directly in John's crosshairs.

   Gina hunted around for the phone book, taking it into the living room with a pad of paper and a pencil. She thumbed through it, writing down a few addresses until she heard Casey's footsteps overhead, and she set it aside to go up and say good night.

   Negan was laying on the bed with her, reading a book, and she stood just outside the door, listening to his voice. It felt like both years and just yesterday since she'd heard him entertaining her, using different voices to punch up the story, and Gina backed away, retreating into Michael's room. He was drowsing in his crib, bundled up for the night in his sleeper, his dark hair brushed off to the side. She watched him until he was out, and when he was peaceful, she went back into Casey's room, sitting down on the edge as she kissed her.

  "I'm so happy Daddy's here," she whispered, as if it were a secret. "He told me he's staying here for a while."

   Gina smiled at her, caressing her face. Casey didn't know why he was here, she was just happy he was. Her eight-year-old dreams had come true, and all she knew was that her parents were together again in the same house.

   "Get some sleep, my love," she said, pulling the covers up.

   Casey spoke again as she went to close the door, and Gina froze as she listened.

   "Thank you, mom."

   "Good night, honey."

   As soon as she could move again, she went back downstairs, taking the baby monitor with her. Negan was sitting in the living room, and she saw that he had brought out her whiskey, sipping on some as she sat down on the couch. He poured her a glass, and she took it, taking a rather large gulp. She opened her mouth to talk, but he beat her to it, and the words came out in a rush.

   "I'm not seeing Bethany. I never was."

   Gina blinked, pretending to be surprised since he had no idea that she already knew this.

   "I tried to tell you the first time you saw us together, at the meeting, but you didn't give me a chance," he said, setting his glass down.

   "And why are you telling me now?"

   He turned to face her, inching closer to her on the couch. She didn't retreat like she normally would, and he studied her face, like he was committing it to memory.

   "I'm telling you because I don't want any secrets. Bethany is a good kid, and she's been really trying to help me."

   "Help you what?" Gina asked, taking another drink.

   "Learn how to be a better man. To not do the things that I do. The ones that hurt you, the person I love the most in the world."

   She took a third sip, the alcohol stinging as she felt it travel down her throat, and her stomach started to burn.

   "Why?"

   "Why what?" He looked confused at the question, and she set her own glass down, backing herself into her usual position, leaning against the arm of the sofa. Her legs swung up, and she wrapped her arms around her knees. This was the most they've talked in the last two months, and she needed honest answers.

   "Why do you want to be better? What are you hoping to get out of it?"

   Negan looked down, and she thought that he was honestly thinking about it. He matched her position, and their feet were only inches from each other.

   "I want to prove to you and myself that I'm worth loving, worth caring about. All the time we were together, I never really let myself feel it. I've loved two women in my life. You and Lucille," he said, keeping his eyes on his knees. "Lucille knew about my affairs, and she never called me on it, never said anything. I'm sure she hoped I'd change one day, and I hoped I would, too. But I just kept on doing it, kept hurting her. The more I did it, the more she tried to make me happy, and it was a neverending cycle."

   When he looked up, she saw that he was on the edge of tears. "There have been exactly three defining moments for me over the last two fucking months. The first was the night you ended things. When I heard you tell me that you knew, I felt in my bones right then that it wasn't the same as with Lucille, that you'd never be able to forgive me, to look at me the same way. And you told me that you'd get over it, you'd get over me."

   Gina swallowed, remembering the feeling that night. Watching him go from cocky to begging for another chance.

   "At first, I didn't want to believe it, I thought you'd cool off, and we'd go back to the way things used to be. I assumed you'd react like Lucille did. But over the next few weeks, you stuck to your guns, and you began to move on."

   Reaching out, he took another drink of whiskey before clearing his throat. "The second was when you told me you had a date. You were definitely moving on. I saw that prick, and he was looking at you like I always did. He saw in you what I saw, but he was the one that appreciated it in a way I thought I did, but didn't. Not really."

   She knew what the last one probably was, but she let him talk.

   "The third was when you told me you slept with him."

   His cheeks were red, and Gina wasn't sure if it was from the alcohol or from his emotional state. "I truly lost you to another man. If what I felt in that moment was only a tenth of the way I made you feel, I wouldn't blame you if you stuck my nuts in a blender and hit puree."

   "So, I've been going back, delving into some really dark shit to find a way to whatever's broken inside of me," he continued, clearing his throat once again. "Owning my shit, so to speak. And if John makes you happy, I won't try to interfere. But if you can ever see your way to forgiving me, I'd die before I ever hurt you again."

   She looked into his eyes, and she saw pain, hope, and love there. He was looking at her in a way that he never had in all their years. For once, he was truly afraid. Honestly vulnerable. Not like when he thought she'd die. This was different, and it scared her more than she ever thought possible.

   "How could you possibly respect me if I took you back?" she asked, continuing to stare into his face.

   "How could I not? How could I not be so grateful that you were willing to trust me with your heart one more time? How could I not spend the rest of my life trying to show you that I love you more than you could ever love a dickhead like me?"

   Negan crossed his legs, leaning forward. He didn't touch her, but he searched her face, looking for anything that could tell him what she was thinking. "Do you love him?"

   She laughed, a bitter tangle of sounds escaping her throat, and Negan rocked back slightly, unnerved by her reaction. Before answering him, she took another drink, emptying the rest of the whiskey into her mouth before swallowing it with a cough.

   "No, I don't love him," she said, closing her eyes. "It turns out that he's kind of insane."

 "What?"

   The word was deadly cold, and when she focused back on him, she got a chill.

   "That's what I wanted to talk to you about. I went to see him yesterday after I left your house."

   Gina relayed the conversation, expressing her discomfort and fear at being alone with him, and she could feel the fury rolling off of Negan's body in waves.

   "I saw him watching you today at the meeting, and it scared me. I don't know for sure that he'd do anything to you, but I don't want you to be anywhere near him."

   "You don't have to worry about me," he told her, pouring some more alcohol into his glass. He downed it in one swallow, and he went to stand up.

   "No," she said, holding her arm out. "You're not going over there."

   "You tell me he scared the shit out of you, and you don't think I'm going to do something about it?"

   "Didn't you just tell me you were going to stop doing things to hurt me, and yourself?" she snapped, causing him to sit back down quickly. "Rick is well aware of what's going on. I don't want you involved unless it's absolutely necessary. We have other issues that need to be attended to. Besides, your face is totally fucked up from the last fight you started."

   He mumbled something under his breath, and she shushed him, hearing Michael stir on the monitor. She got up, sprinting up the steps to check on him, and he'd made a huge mess. Cussing under her own breath, she turned on the light, carrying him over to the changing table. Negan appeared in the doorway, and she pointed him to the crib. He took one look and started to gag, but he stripped the bed while she wiped him down. Once she got him into a new sleeper, she turned off the lights, rocking him in the chair until he fell back asleep.

  Leader, mother, shit cleaner. She lived a glamorous life. Carrying down the soiled garments, she threw everything into the wash before going back into the living room. "I'm going out for a cigarette," she told him.

   "May I join you?"

   Gina nodded, slipping on her coat and shoes and traipsing into the kitchen. He followed her down to the dock, and they sat side by side in the dark, the monitor in between them. Other than her children's laughter, the timbre of the waves gently hitting the poles was one of her favorite sounds. She'd listened to it countless nights when she was happy, sad, contemplative. Tonight, she was all three.

   "I'll try," she finally said, not looking at him. "That's all I can do. But I have to do it in my own way. You can't try to force something that isn't there."

   "I won't," he promised, looking out into the water. "I'll do whatever you want, whenever you want it."

   "It's going to take me time," she warned him. "Asshole."

   He didn't answer, but she reached out, linking her pinky with his. It was all she was capable of, and he kept his head facing forward. She looked at him, and his eyes were glossy. Had she been able to see over his shoulder, she would've glimpsed John watching them, the moonlight casting an eerie glow over his face.

 

 

 

 


	75. Chapter 75

   The boat was loaded up and ready to go. They only thing the fishing crew was waiting on was Carl, who was slowly making his way through the line of people that came to see him off. Rick was standing off to the side, and Gina knew how nervous he was, though he tried to play it off. Hell, a blind man could tell.

   She waited patiently until Carl came towards her, and she pulled him into a tight hug. "Be careful, don't lean over the side, and wear your life jacket," she said, giving him an extra squeeze.

   "You're about the fourth one to tell me that," he said with a smile as she let him go. Gina smiled back, and he hugged Carol, who told him basically the same thing. When he got to his father, Rick shook his hand before embracing him.

   "I love you, son," he mumbled, clapping him on the back.

   "I love you too, dad," he replied, taking a step back. Judith reached her arms up, and Carl picked her up, giving her a kiss on the cheek.

   "We go play," she said, tugging on his shirt.

   "I'll see you soon, Judy. We'll play when I get back."

   Handing her off to Rick, he hurried to the boat, climbing in as everyone crowded around. The horn sounded, and they watched as it slowly eased away from the dock. No one moved until the ship made a wide turn, heading out into open water with a final blow of the horn, and people broke off into groups.

   Daryl, Talia, and Jesus retreated towards their house, and Ezekiel and Carol went towards Tina's, leading Judith by the hand. Gina and Rick stood side by side, and she waited patiently for him to join her in her office. The boat was out of sight when he finally moved, and she gave him a hug.

   "He's going to be fine," she assured him. "He's safer out there."

   "I know," he said, taking a deep breath. "I know."

   It was a hard decision for Rick to let Carl go, but given what had happened over the last few days, it seemed an obvious way to make sure one of his children wasn't in town, where the possibility of an attack was more of a certainty than anything that could happen on the water.

   It had been a week since the Kingdom was slaughtered, and everyone in town was responding well. Clinton had found copious amounts of scrap metal, and his team worked day and night to build up the walls. It kept John busy, and she hadn't seen him since the meeting, thank God. Hopefully, he was finally over her.

   Gina had dragged Daryl all over Virginia it felt like, and they'd found a shit ton of paintball guns and supplies. She'd located a few different shops in the yellow pages, and at first, Daryl had refused to go, calling it a waste of time.

   "We need something that the shooters can practice with," she argued, getting pissed. "We can't afford to waste ammunition, and they'll be able to see where they're hitting."

   "Gina, we need to be preparin' for a real war, not a paintball war," he snapped, crossing his arms. "This is life and death, not a game."

   "She's right."

   Daryl turned to glare at Talia, who was listening to them bicker like they always did. "Why do ya always take her side?" he asked, and she rolled her eyes.

   "Jesus Christ, you and Gina are more brother and sister than we are husband and wife," she muttered. "I'm about sick of the both of you."

   Daryl opened his mouth, but Talia shot him a look, and Gina gave him a triumphant grin, batting her eyelashes at him.

   "Your shooters need to practice. I guaran-damn-tee they've never had to fight in a really fucked situation. They need to face someone wearing that armor, and they need to do it often, so that when, not if these people show up, they won't fold under the pressure."

   "Come on," Gina told him, yanking on his shirt. "I've got a list of places we can go to."

   She spent the entire first trip listening to him curse under his breath, but the first place they visited was a success. She may or may not have shot him in the back with a red paintball, but he couldn't retaliate because they had to fight off about six walkers came streaming through the open door. They had cleared the area around the park, but the two of them spent so much time combing through supplies that they attracted a small following.

   Once they got the truck loaded up, they hit a grocery store that wasn't far from Reedville. It had been pretty much picked over, but she got the hopefully brilliant idea to try to keep the fatigues as clean as possible, so they packed up all the cleaning supplies, along with clear plastic wrap.

   "We could wrap it around the elbows, knees, all the places we want them to shoot at. It'd be less mess to try to get out so that we can reuse the uniforms faster."

   Daryl grunted, and she knew that was all the praise she was going to get. When they arrived back home, Negan was loading up one of the trucks. She pulled next to him, her nerves starting to fire up. He was leaving with Devin to go to one of the bases, and they'd be gone for several days. Clinton was gone with his team at the junkyard, so she didn't have to worry about John watching them.

   He stopped what he was doing when they got out of the truck, and Daryl shook his hand, wishing him luck and calling him an asshole before going to the bed and unloading their booty. She followed Negan to the other side of his truck, where they stood face to face.

   "Are you sure you're going be okay with me being gone?"

   Negan looked carefully at her, searching for any signs of distress. They hadn't spoken about John since the night he moved back in, and Gina knew that he was still intent on having it out with him. Their time with the kids had been sublime, and Casey was ecstatic that he was back. So far, he'd respected Gina's need to take things slow, and he never tried to pressure her or touch her without her permission. The only thing she'd felt comfortable enough doing was holding his hand, and he'd seemed satisfied just to have that.

   Their nights had been spent talking, just trying to reacquaint themselves with each other, and he told her more about his talks with Bethany. Gina had to admit that she was impressed, both with his commitment to better himself and with Bethany's insight for being so young.

   "You really never hit on her?" she asked doubtfully, the night before he was supposed to leave.

   "Nope," he told her, looking her dead in the eye. "I had no interest in her. All I wanted was to find a way back to you." He rubbed his thumb over hers, squeezing his hand a little tighter. "I meant it when I said I'm changing. I don't want to be an asshole, at least not to you."

   Gina nodded her head, trying to reassure him before he left.

   "I'll be fine. Don't worry about me. You're the one going out and putting yourself in danger."

   "This isn't uncharted territory for me. This is what I'm good at," he reminded her with a cocky grin. "Besides, Devin knows this base, so we're not going in blind, for once."

   Giving him a tight smile, she leaned in, kissing him softly on the cheek. "I'll see you when you get back."

   He looked like he wanted to say something, but he bit it back with a nod. Unable to watch him leave, she set off for Tina's to pick up the kids. Devin and Negan were leaving before dusk and stopping at a safe house along the way to the base.

   The first night he left sucked, and Michael was up most of the night. He'd been teething badly, and nothing she did made him happy, other than walking the floor over and over. The subsequent nights were almost as bad, and she felt like the walking dead after the third day, and she and Daryl still had to get more supplies. Her days were long, and so were her nights. Negan was due back anytime, and as she and Rick settled in her office, she let out a yawn that was so long, Rick actually watched her in fascination.

   "I'm surprised your jaw didn't snap in half," he told her in admiration.

   "Burning the candle at both ends blows," she said, rubbing at her jaw. "Michael's teething, and he's a monster all night."

   "I remember those days," Rick replied, a small smile forming on his face. "Michonne and I used to trade off so that one of us could get at least a few consecutive hours of sleep."

   Gina almost made the mistake of telling him that he was lucky, but she caught herself at the last minute. Rick was most certainly not lucky, and she felt horrible for even thinking it.

   "This, too, shall pass," she sighed, pulling out her ledgers. They went over the munitions and supplies for the next hour until he told her to go home and get a nap.

   "I can't," she insisted. "There's too much that needs to be done. We've got every paintball and gun in Virgina, so we need to start practicing. Plus, the kids will be done with school soon, and I've already had Tina take Michael every day this week."

   "Listen, I'll make you a deal," Rick began, holding up his finger as she started to shake her head. "Go home and rest, and I'll get all of the kids after school. If you cook Judith and me some dinner, we'll call it even. Talia's a great mom, but a chef she is not, and I don't think I can eat another peanut butter and jelly sandwich."

   "Can you handle all three?"

   Rick looked offended, and she laughed. "I've led two communities. I can handle two babies and an eight-year-old. I think," he said with a mocking frown.

   "Fine," she grumbled, standing up. "I owe you one."

   Gina gave him a high five as she walked out of the office, leaving him studying the ledgers with a critical eye. It was misty out, not really raining, but moisture was filtering down, settling on her face and in her hair. A twinge of guilt pressed on her spine as she passed Tina's, but she kept going. Rick was right, she needed rest, and if she was overtired, she couldn't be a good mother or leader.

   She left the door unlocked so that Rick could come in with the kids, and with a quick glance at the clock, she climbed the steps, trudging to her room. Gina undid her belt, stuffing her gun in Negan's nightstand before kicking off her shoes and laying down on his side. He was sleeping in the guest room, but she still considered it his side, though she'd mostly slept in the middle of the bed since they broke up. One one of her trips out, she'd found shades, and she pulled them down, darkening the room significantly.

   Once her head hit the pillow, she shut her eyes, and it only took her minutes to fall asleep. Most of it was spent dreamless until Negan popped up in her brain, and he was kissing her, running his hands all over her body. Her conscious self might not be ready to sleep with him, but her unconscious clearly was, and she could feel it in her body as his lips touched every part of her in her dream. Her skin was on fire, and she moaned in her sleep, feeling that orgasmic feeling seizing her muscles, until she became aware of an arm around her actual body. Goddamn him. She told him she wasn't ready.

   "Negan," she murmured, her eyes still closed. "I told you-"

   He tightened his hold, and she felt herself lifted slightly as his other arm slid underneath her, pinning her own arms to her chest, and she opened her eyes in anger. Turning her head, she saw that it wasn't Negan, and she screamed, the sound cut off as John kept her in a viselike grip, restricting her chest.

   "You lied," he muttered, his face red, and she tried to headbutt him, but he kept a firm hold on her, squeezing until she could barely breathe.

   "Please," she gasped, unable to take any air into her lungs. He pinned her legs with his own, turning her before she even knew what was happening so that they were face to face.

   "You lied," he repeated, staring at her with unadulterated hatred. "You let him back into your bed. Admit it. Admit you fucked him."

   "I didn't," she squeaked. Gina was pressed against his chest, and he had his hands on her back so that she couldn't move, couldn't take more than a shallow breath. "He's only staying here. He's staying in the guest room. You can go see."

   "I saw you together. You were sitting on the dock with him after the meeting. You made me love you, and then you treated me like a fool. I only wanted to make you happy, and you'd rather be with a man who lies to you, cheats on you. Hurts you."

   Love her? They'd only known each other for two months. He was crazed, and her heart was working overtime, trying to keep up with the abject fear that she was experiencing.

   "I never meant to hurt you, John," she pleaded, and she stopped struggling. Her adrenaline was coursing, but there was no way she could simply overpower him. She needed him to think that she wasn't going to do anything. She needed to get free of his clutches and maybe, just maybe, she could get to her gun. Gina had self-defense training, and she needed it right now, desperately. The will to live was too strong.

   "I got confused," she lied, looking up into his face with what she hoped was remorse. "He's very good at confusing me."

   "How can you be confused?" he demanded, shaking her roughly. His eyes were wild, and she knew he was totally insane. "I've treated you like a queen. I've tried to show you how much you mean to me, but you didn't appreciate it. You didn't appreciate me. You just used me to get back at him."

   Gina turned her hand slightly so that it was facing his heart, and she stroked her fingers on his chest. "You're right," she whispered, trying to keep her voice steady. "I didn't appreciate the man that you are." That part was true, at least.

   "Can you forgive me?"

   John was breathing heavily, and he stared at her with dazed eyes. Gina tilted her head forward, resting her forehead on his chin, and she didn't have to see his face. "Please forgive me."

   He loosened his grip slightly, and she took a deep breath, finally able to do so. "Forgive me," she said again. "Please forgive me."

   John let go of her with his left hand, and he placed it firmly on her chin, forcing her face back up so that they were nose to nose. Her hand was shaking violently, but she was able to place it on his cheek, her eyes tearing up. She brushed the hair away from his face, running her hand down to the back of his neck. "Can you forgive me?"

   "I still love you, Gina," he told her, using his thumb to wipe away her tears, and she wanted to shudder, to pull her head away, but she didn't. "We can leave here and never come back. We'll take our kids with us and find someplace else."

   "Okay, John," she murmured, desperate to keep him calm. "We can do that. If you can forgive me, we'll do that."

   He let her other hand go, and she put it around his neck, pulling him on top of her so that he had one leg between hers, and she had one between his. "Thank you for being so good to me," she whispered, lifting her head so that her lips met his, and he responded immediately. A wave of nausea came over her as his tongue entered her mouth, but she let him do it until she was sure his guard was completely down.

   Two things happened, both at the same time. She brought her leg up as hard as she could, kneeing him in the groin, and she bit down on his tongue, blood spurting into her mouth as he let out a howl, and she didn't let go until his fist came slamming into the side of her face. John rolled off of her, and he kicked her in the ribs, sending her flying off the bed into the wall.

   Gina saw stars, the wind completely knocked out of her as she shook her head. Reaching out blindly, she pulled the drawer completely out, and the gun went flying across the ground. He had her by the hair as she tried to crawl towards it, and he hit her again. A pain like she never felt before exploded across her face, and she swung her hand in an arc, hitting him across the nose, rebreaking it.

   Her mouth was full of his blood, and she spit it out as her hand closed around the gun. All the while, he was screeching, calling her a bitch, a whore, a piece of shit in a slurred voice as he clambered off the bed. Twisting her body, she aimed the gun at him, pressing the lever, and the bullet hit him in the thigh, sending a spray of blood across her face. Her eyes couldn't focus, and she shot again, this time grazing his shoulder. John retreated, fleeing out of her room as she kept firing, hitting the wall with the remaining bullets.

   Gina kept pulling the trigger until she heard a door open and slam closed. Unable to move, she leaned against the bed, struggling to keep her eyes open. Someone called her name, maybe ten minutes later, but it sounded far away, like she was under water.

   "Gina?"

   Her hands flew up, pointing the gun, and Rick pushed it back down, before getting down into her face.

   "Gina, it's Rick."

   "Rick?"

   It was hard to form the word. Her mouth wasn't working properly, and it felt like she was trying to speak a foreign language.

   He stood up, going to the window. Light flooded the room as he snapped the blind up, and she squinted, seeing the pools of blood that covered the floor. Cool air rushed in as he opened the window, shouting out to anyone that was out there that he needed help.

   "I'll be right back," he promised, running out of the room. She was still in the same position, and the adrenaline was starting to ebb away, leaving only pain. She could hear Michael crying downstairs, and it only made her ache worse. Her chest and side hurt, her face throbbed, and her scalp was stinging where he'd yanked her hair. Her kids could've been here, they could've witnessed this, she thought, beginning to cry. He could've hurt her children.

   Rick was back a few minutes later, and he scooped her up off of the floor, stopping when she whimpered in pain. Faster than she would've ever thought she was capable of, he carried her down the steps and out the door. The kids were gone, and Daryl was waiting at Dr. Thomas's door, holding it open as they rushed inside.

   "Where are my babies?" she whispered as Rick set her on the table.

   "Your sister has them," he assured her, laying her head down. "Don't worry, they're safe."

   Dr. Thomas came in, putting on a pair of gloves as he approached her slowly, trying not to frighten her.

   "Can you tell me what happened, Gina?" he asked in a gentle voice.

   "I'll step out," Rick offered, but she clutched at his hand.

   "Please don't," she begged, wincing as she tried to take a breath. "What if he comes back?"

   "He's not coming back," he told her, trying to placate her. "We're going to find him."

   Dr. Thomas leaned over, and she focused back on him.

   "John attacked me," she said in a trembling voice. "He had me pinned, so I bit his tongue and kneed him in the balls."

   All he could do was nod, so she continued. "He kicked me in the ribs, yanked my hair and punched me in the face. I hit him back, and I think I got his nose, and he let me go. I was able to get the gun," she mumbled, beginning to relive it. "I shot him in the thigh and maybe the shoulder. I couldn't focus, or else I would've killed him."

  "Okay, I'm going to examine you and see what kind of injuries you've got. I'm going to do my best not to hurt you," he promised, and she nodded, closing her eyes.

   Dr. Thomas prodded her gently, running his hands over her face. It throbbed where he pressed down, and she tried to take several breaths. She almost died. She could've died. Rick continued to hold her hand, and she felt him grip her tighter as he lifted up her shirt, feeling her ribs. A cold sensation caused her to open her eyes, and she saw that Dr. Thomas was listening to her chest.

   "Can you take a deep breath for me?" he asked. She did the best she could, but the pain was intense, and she started to cough. It took several minutes until she calmed down, and Rick let go of her to go talk to Daryl. While he was gone, Dr. Thomas cleaned her face, wiping her with a warm cloth. Gina watched the bowl of water become redder and she was thankful that most of the blood was John's.

   "I'm going to say that you have a couple of cracked ribs," he told her, helping her to a sitting position. "I don't think you have any fractures on your face, though you took some heavy blows. There's going to be some swelling. But with rest, you should recover completely."

   Gina nodded, her chin quivering. She would recover physically. Mentally was another story. There was no way she would feel safe until she knew that John was dead.

   "Rick," she called out, and the door opened immediately. He stepped back in, with Daryl just behind him. She'd seen Daryl angry before, but something about his face threw her off. He looked feral, and she looked back to Rick, who was strangely calm.

   "Have they found him?"

   "No," Rick told her. "Daryl's going to try to track him. With the amount of blood he's losing, it shouldn't be hard. He'll be dead no matter what."

   "I want to be the one to do it," she said in a monotone voice.

   "Ya need to rest," Daryl replied, taking a step forward.

   "Promise me." She looked him in the eyes. "I get to be the one."

   He grimaced before finally nodding. "All right. If he ain't already dead, I'll bring him back to ya."

   "Thank you."

   Dr. Thomas left the room, returning a few minutes later with a bottle of pills and two ice packs. He handed them to Rick. "She needs to rest."

   They talked for a few more minutes, and then Rick helped her to her feet. Every breath she took was painful, and they walked slowly towards her house, but Rick kept her moving, leading her to Talia's. "We need to clean your house first," he informed her, and she felt tingles up her spine.

   Talia was hovering at the door, holding Evelyn, and she burst into tears when she saw Gina. "Oh my God," she moaned, shaking her head. "Oh, Gigi."

   "I'll be fine," she lied, not wanting to talk about it anymore. "I just need some rest. Where are the kids?"

   "They're in my room," Talia said, wiping her face. "I didn't think you'd want them to see you like this."

   "I'd like to lay down if that's okay," Gina replied, feeling dead inside.

   Daryl went and got her a glass of water, and Carol came down the steps, looking at her steadily. "I'll take her up. She can stay in Carl's room."

   Gina hadn't even climbed the first step before Rick and Daryl took off, and she made the journey slowly, wrapping her arms around her chest as she moved. Thankfully, Carl's room was right at the top of the steps, and she sat down gingerly, letting Carol lift her legs up onto the mattress. Once she was flat, Carol gave her a pain pill and a drink of water.

   "You're tough," Carol told her in a quiet voice. "You'll get through this."

   Gina didn't respond, laying on her sore side as the door closed. She was tired of having to get through things. Tired of having to press on, only to have something worse happen. Life was pain. A constant cycle of pain with occasional good moments thrown in.

   She wasn't sure when she finally fell asleep, she only knew that when she opened her eyes, Negan was sitting in the chair next to her. She didn't open her mouth, couldn't open her mouth. All she could do was watch him as he knelt down next to her, putting his face down on the mattress by hers. He didn't touch her, and she assumed he was too afraid to traumatize her. But she needed comfort, she needed to be held by someone that loved her, to drive out the feel of John trying to squeeze the life out of her.

   So she reached out, pulling him up onto the bed with her, and she buried her face in his chest, crying herself back to sleep.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


 

 

 

 


	76. Chapter 76

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I know this chapter is shorter than the usual ones I've been posting, but I wanted to get to the immediate aftermath of Gina's attack. Girlfriend is in bad place...

  
   The bedroom door opened with a creak, and a narrow ray of light filtered into the dark room. Negan eased himself out from under her, thinking that she was asleep, and he went over to the door.

   "We found him," Rick said softly, and Gina heard Negan let out a deep breath.

   "Where is he?"

   "Daryl's with him about a mile out. He has him in a house, tied up."

   Gina pulled herself up with effort, and Negan came over resting his hand on her shoulder.

   "You need to stay here," he told her, but she got to her feet, edging past him.

   "He's right," Rick said, opening the door wider as he studied her appearance.

   "I'm going," she said, facing him head on. "I need some shoes."

   He looked over her shoulder towards Negan, and she took another step. "Don't look at him. Look at me."

   Rick focused back on her, and after appraising her appearance he nodded, disappearing back down the hall, returning a moment later with a pair of Talia's boots. Gina carried them down the steps, sitting at the dining room table, and she tried to bend over, only to take a pained breath. Negan bent down, helping her into the boots before standing back up.

   It was still dark as the three of them exited the house, walking towards the gate. One of the trucks was running, and she climbed into the back seat, letting Rick and Negan have the front. Neither one spoke as they pulled out, and she stared out the window into the darkness as they drove her to where John was being held.

   Nothing really floated through her mind. No coherent thoughts came to her, she just let the nothingness consume her body and brain. The only thing she was aware of was the pain in her ribs whenever they went over a bump. The throbbing in her face was tolerable, but every pothole sent a sharp jab into her chest. Because of him. Because of what he did to her.

   It was only a short trip, and Rick slowed the truck down, turning into a gravel driveway. There was only a faint light coming from the small house. It could've been white or gray, but she couldn't tell in the dark. It didn't matter. She'd never set eyes on it again.

   Negan opened the door, and he helped her down, keeping a hold of her hand, but she shook him off, walking stiffly to the front door. Rick stepped around her to open it, and she couldn't see anything besides his back until he shuffled to the side.

   John was slumped in a chair in the middle of the living room, and his blonde hair was hanging in thick strands over his face. Daryl had moved all of the furniture aside, and he was standing behind John, holding a gun at the base of his neck. He glanced up briefly, looking between the three of them before focusing back down, poking John roughly with the muzzle of the gun.

   His head lifted slowly, and he blinked a few times as he looked around. Paler than death, he smiled at Negan, revealing blood-stained teeth. His nose was swollen again to twice its size, and most of his body was covered in dried blood.

   "Visitors," he croaked out in a lisping voice. "How nice."

   Rick took a warning step forward, but John didn't even acknowledge him.

   "How does it feel?" John asked, eyeing Negan with a nasty smile. "How does it feel to know I fucked her? I had her calling my name as she bounced on my dick, over and over."

   Negan lunged for him, and Rick only just got a hand on him, yanking him back with a grunt of effort. Daryl abandoned his spot, coming over to help hold him back.

   "She's amazing in bed, by the way," John taunted him, thrusting his hips up for added emphasis as he grimaced in pain. "She felt like silk when I'd slide inside her."

   Rick backhanded him before pushing Negan back several feet.

   Gina didn't say a word. She didn't react in any way. She just watched him until he finally turned his head towards her. Holding out her hand, Daryl placed the gun in her palm, and she wrapped her fingers around it.

   "I've never killed anyone before," she said, regarding him curiously. "I've killed walkers, but never another human being." Her words were unemotional. "I've never had to, thanks to them," she added, jerking her head to the side.

   "Negan has. Rick has. Daryl has," she told him, looking down at the gun in her hand. "They've all ended people's lives, all to keep the ones they love safe."

   John didn't show any fear or any emotion at all. He just watched her with his dead eyes as she turned the gun over in her hand. "I expect I'll be doing a lot more killing," she reasoned, slipping her finger around the trigger. "But you'll always be my first."

   It felt like all of the sound had been sucked out of the room, except for her voice. "I'm in love with Negan," she told him. "I love Rick, and Daryl, and Talia. My kids. Their kids. I love them all, and you're a threat. You tried to kill me. You would've killed them, too, wouldn't you?"

   "Wouldn't you?" she pressed, taking a step forward.

   "Yes," he answered before rubbing his lips together, smearing blood across them like lipstick, and Gina smiled.

   "I want you to know, after today, you'll never cross my mind again. I'll wipe any memory of you away forever. You were nothing to me. You'll be nothing to me but a psychotic piece of shit who pushed me head first into reality."

   In the blink of an eye, she fired, and he let out a scream that could shatter glass. He threw his head back, writhing in pain as he tried to free his hands. There was a hole between his legs where his dick used to be, and blood poured out, hitting the floor in a stream. Gina watched in fascination as the pool of viscera spread, long strings of flesh swinging back and forth as he moaned. When she'd heard enough of his suffering, she fired again, hitting him in the forehead, just above his right eye, and the sounds stopped. His whole body went slack, but the blood continued to flow, and she felt someone take the gun from her hand.

   She didn't fight it, she just let her hand drop to her side as she looked at the blood on the floor, watching it settle into the grooves of the hardwood floor.

   "I'm ready to go home now," she whispered, turning to see all of them staring at her with horrified expressions. She didn't think they knew that she was capable of such violence. Negan looked the most disturbed, and none of them attempted to come near her, so she walked between Daryl and Rick, stepping out into the night air. The whole affair had taken less than ten minutes, and it was still dark out.

   Gina let herself back into the truck, buckling her seat belt as she waited for them to come and join her. One by one, they staggered out, and Daryl got in the back seat with her, not looking at her. She tapped him on the shoulder, and he reached into his jacket, giving her his pack of cigarettes. Shaking one out, she put it to her lips, lighting in and taking a small drag.

   Once Rick started the car, she unrolled her window, flicking the ash out casually. He was watching her in the mirror, and she smiled at him before taking another puff, coughing when it went too far down into her lungs. Unfazed, she smoked the entire thing as he drove them back, tossing the butt out as they got near the gates.

   Instead of pulling off to the side, Rick continued on down the street, turning the truck around and parking it on the road in front of her house. Pushing the door open, she didn't wait for Negan to help her, instead sliding down onto the asphalt with a grunt. Taking short strides, she made her way up the steps in into the house. The smell of bleach filled her nose as she kicked off the boots, and Negan shut the door behind them.

   The kitchen light was on, and she went in to get a drink, downing an entire glass of water before refilling it. He stood in the doorway, watching her as she washed the glass, setting it back in the cupboard.

   "I left my pills at Talia's," she murmured, rubbing her side.

   "I'll go get them," Negan told her, taking a step backward. "Please don't go upstairs until I get back."

   "Okay," she said agreeably, leaning against the counter. Giving her a troubled look, he moved quickly to the door. When he came back, she was still in the same spot, staring at the fridge with a blank gaze.

   "Gina," he said in a careful voice, shaking her out of her waking coma.

   "Yes," she replied, blinking rapidly.

   "Let's go upstairs," he told her, holding out his hand. She curled her fingers around his, and he helped her up the steps and into her room. The bed had been stripped, and the room smelled like ammonia. Negan went over to the window, opening it up to clear the air, and she stood rooted in one spot, watching him until he entered the bathroom, turning on the shower.

   He got her undressed, wrapping a towel around her as he led her into the bathroom. Gina stood under the water, arms at her sides until he got in with her, fully clothed, washing her hair carefully as she stared up at him. He seemed to have trouble making eye contact with her, and she felt guilty.

   "I'm sorry he said those filthy things to you," she muttered. "That wasn't very gentlemanly."

   His head came up rapidly, and he seemed to struggle to find words. "I don't care about that," he assured her. "I only care that you're okay. I think you're in shock."

   "Yeah," she said in a calm voice. "Yeah, you're probably right."

   He smiled, but his eyes were the saddest shade of brown she'd ever seen.

   "I'll be fine. I think I just need some rest. Michael's teething, you know, so he's been up every night. I just need some sleep."

   Tilting her head back, she closed her eyes as Negan ran his hands through her hair to rinse the shampoo, and she heard a sharp intake of breath. When she opened them, he was looking at her side, and she glanced down, seeing finger marks from where John had squeezed her.

   "He had a good grip going there for a while," she told him. "When I first woke up, I thought it was you in the bed with me."

   "I'm so sorry, baby," he said, his voice trailing off.

   "It's not your fault," she replied, her voice still the same flat affect. "It's mine. I'm the one that..."

   She didn't finish, not sure how to complete the sentence. She was the one that slept with a crazy person, she guessed.

   Negan turned off the water once she was completely free of dirt and blood, handing her the towel before stepping out, dripping everywhere. He didn't seem to notice, only focusing on her. She sat down on the bed while he went to change, and when he came back, she was still sitting, clutching the towel around her chest.

   He rifled through her drawers, getting out a nightgown and bringing it over to her. Gina pulled it down over her arms, and she stood up, giving him the towel, letting him comb the knots out of her hair.

   "Are the kids okay?" she asked, looking at him with wide eyes. How did she not think to ask about the kids?

   "They're sleeping. They're fine."

   "You'll bring them home, right?"

   "Yes."

   "I should probably take my medicine," she told him. "My chest hurts."

   "I'll be right back," he replied, returning with a pill and a fresh glass of water in one hand, and fresh sheets in another. He made the bed, and after she swallowed the pain pill, she crawled onto her side of the bed, patting his side as he stood over her.

   After closing and latching the window, he got on, facing her, and she took his hand, holding it against her chest.

   "Will you wake me up when they get home?"

   "I promise," he told her, kissing her on the forehead as she closed her eyes.

   It might have just been water from the shower, but as she drifted off, she could swear that something was dripping on her head as Negan kissed her over and over.


	77. Chapter 77

 

   It took two weeks for Gina to finally break down and let herself cry, to release all of the pain she was holding inside. And it was all due to an innocuous gesture by Negan. Something to make her smile. A simple song.

   The morning after the attack and subsequent execution, she woke up feeling as numb as she had the night before. The sounds of dishes clattering below shook her from her stupor, and she sat up with effort. Her ribs were throbbing, and Negan was nowhere to be found. Flipping on the light in the bathroom, she analyzed her injuries, having not seen them herself.

   There were lines of purple discoloration along her ribcage, stretching around to her back. Her cheek was swollen, and her left eye had large black bruises underneath. The sight brought no emotions to the surface, just an analytical calculation in her head of how long it would take to heal. She brushed her teeth and hair before dressing in a loose shirt and yoga pants, forgoing socks as she went downstairs.

   Rick, Daryl, Talia, Evelyn, Negan and the kids were all sitting around the table, and the chatter stopped as soon as she walked in. Casey's eyes bugged out as she looked at Gina, and she glanced at Negan for reassurance.

   "I told you mom had an accident," he reminded her gently, nudging her. Casey got up from her seat, approaching her slowly before giving her a half hug.

   There was an empty place for her, with a pill sitting next to a glass of water, and she sat down before picking it up, holding it out as everyone watched her. Casey went back over next to Negan, fidgeting in her chair while Gina took the tablet, chasing it down with a mouthful of water.

   Someone had made pancakes, and they were stacked in the middle of the table, along with some scrambled eggs. The only one who wasn't shy was Michael, who kept bouncing in Negan's lap.

   "Mama," he called, flexing his fingers towards her, and it was the first time he'd ever said it. She thought that she'd tear up the first time he called her that, but again, no feeling bubbled to the surface.

   Negan brought him over to her, and she kissed his cheek, aware that all of the adults were evaluating her every move.

   "Hi, sweet pea," she murmured, smelling his head. He must have been bathed, because the sweet scent of lavender filled her nose, and she closed her eyes.

   "Go ahead," Talia urged, breaking the silence. "This food isn't getting any fresher."

   The attention shifted off of her, and everyone filled up their plates, making superficial conversation as she nibbled at some eggs, balancing Michael on her knee. Avoiding all eye contact, she ate because she had to, not because she wanted to. The entire time, Talia seemed to work hard at keeping her abreast of what the kids were up to, and she only nodded, not really responding.

   Deep down, Gina knew she should have some sort of reaction, but she didn't know how to access her emotions, didn't know of any way to bring them to the surface. So, she just sat, just pretended that everything was okay.

   When the food was all gone, Casey and Judith skipped off to the living room, and Daryl followed behind, putting in a movie for them. He came back in, and Rick cleared his throat, causing her to look up.

   "You look rested," Rick told her, giving her a small smile.

   "Thanks."

   The smile disappeared, and he looked to Negan for help as Michael pulled at her hair.

   "We've been talking, Gina," he said, watching her, "and we think that you need to take a break."

   "A break?"

   "Just some time to rest and recharge," Rick offered. "Once you've fully recovered, I'd like you to take over training the shooters, so that Daryl, Negan and I can start trying to track the strangers."

   "I'm fine," she said, and even she didn't believe it.

   "You're not fine," Rick replied seriously. "And that's okay. None of us were fine after we went through traumatic things. I certainly wasn't. You know that."

   She frowned at him, and he gave her a commiserating look. "We need you. But not when you're running on empty. We'll keep stuff going while you take some time to process everything, and then you'll be right back in the thick of things."

   "We've all had ta take a step back before," Daryl told her. "Every single one of us. That's why we're a family. We step up for each other in times like this."

   "It will be good for you, Gigi," Talia added, placing her hand on the side of Gina's face.

   "So...what? I'm supposed to just sit around and do nothing?"

   "Spend time with Casey and Michael," Negan said, reaching out to rest his hand on her arm. "Get some much-needed rest. You're injured and you need to take care of yourself. We'll keep you updated on everything or nothing, whatever you choose."

   Looking at him dully, she could only shrug her shoulders.

   "Sure," she finally replied, pushing herself away from the table. "I'm going to go lay down."

   Without waiting for a response, she trudged back up the steps, burying herself under the covers, staring out the window. It was raining, and she tried to force herself to cry, but nothing came. No anger, no sadness, no relief. Nothing. Not even when she pictured shooting John.

   She slept through the day, rising only when she knew that the kids were going to need to be fed. Talia was still there when she emerged from her room, and she sat down with Michael, spooning vegetables into his mouth him as Talia tried to entertain Casey. Negan was gone, off somewhere with Rick and Daryl, and she didn't see him until the following morning. He didn't sleep in her room, not that she would've noticed, but he did get up in the middle of the night to feed the baby.

   Before he left, he asked her three times if she was going to be okay with Michael all day, and she told him she was fine. Fine. Everything was fine. Everyone thought she was going to break, crack down the middle. But she was fine. He kissed her cheek before taking Casey to school, and he promised to be back for dinner.

   Once he left, she spent the day playing with Michael, faking enthusiasm for him alone, and since he was so young, he didn't know the difference. Games, books, blocks. They did it all, and when he went down for his afternoon nap, her chest was throbbing with a burning heat, but she didn't even look at her pills. All they did was make her tired, and she didn't want to sleep until she had to.

   By the time Negan and Casey rolled in, she'd made dinner and straightened up the first level of the house. It was quiet as they ate, and when Negan was done, he took all of the plates in, cleaning the mess as Gina gave Casey a bath, taking Michael with her. Sitting in the tub, Casey let out a sad sigh, looking up at her.

   "Are you going to be happy again?"

   Gina smiled at her, but her eyes were tired. "I will, bug. I'm still just really sore. I'll feel better soon."

   But she didn't. Tangibly, each day was an improvement, but mentally, she was stuck in a fog, going through the motions of her life. Rick and Daryl would come by every other day, updating her on supplies and their trips out of town, and she'd nod when she was supposed to, but they knew that she wasn't engaged. Talia tried as well, but she got nowhere, either.

   Negan tried several times to talk to her, to try to get her to open up about how she was feeling and what she was going through, but she shut down each attempt, telling him she was fine, until he finally blew up.

   "I'm going to tell Rick I can't go out with him until you get better," he said, frustration emanating from his voice. His eyes were sharp as he stared at her. They were sitting on the couch after the kids went to bed and he'd turned to face her.

   "I am better," she answered, stretching her arms over her head and waving them around. "See? I can barely feel it."

   "I'm not talking about physically. You're still denying everything that happened, and if you don't talk about it, you're not going to fucking be able to get over it, goddamn it."

   Gina couldn't remember the last time he swore at her or even raised his voice when he spoke to her.

   "Talk to me," he demanded, getting in her face.

   "I'm fine," she said, and he actually threw up his hands, letting them smack down on his thighs.

   "'I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine'," he mocked her. "You know what? I'm going to bed. If you say you're fine, then you're fucking right as rain. I'll be gone for three days at the most. Call Talia if you need anything," he snapped, stomping up the steps. After she heard his door close, she went out onto the dock, and she didn't come in until the middle of the night, just watching the water flow in and out as she counted her own breaths.

  The next morning, Negan departed before she woke up, and he left a note on the table, telling her that he'd be back soon and which frequency he could be reached at if he was in range. Gina got breakfast ready, feeding the kids before walking them to Tina's. She opened the door, giving Gina a hug as Casey took off down the hall.

   "How have you been?" she asked, rubbing Gina's arm.

   "I'm good," she replied automatically. "I'm feeling much better."

   Tina looked unconvinced, but she let the matter drop.

   "Ronnie's been missing Michael, and we're both jonesing for some baby love. Can we keep him for the day?"

   Gina gave her a brief smile, handing him over. "I'll run and get him a bag. That would be great."

   Fifteen minutes later, she was back out of Tina's house and down to the gates towards an empty truck. All at once, she knew where she wanted to go, and she'd have to hurry if she wanted to be back in time to get the kids from school.

   Late January in Virginia was odd, and the weather was always different, but the past week it had been in the sixties. Chuck was in charge of the wall, and she told him that she'd be gone for a few hours, holding up a radio to show him that she could still be reached. He didn't question her, he just waved for the gates to open, and she took off.

   Reason and responsibility were left behind as she sped towards the fresh air and freedom. It took her two hours, two detours and one run in with a group of walkers, but when she got out of the truck, she took a deep breath, wondering if this was the cure for what ailed her. It was her last ditch attempt to kick start her emotions.

   The beach was clear, and only a few pieces of seaweed lay scattered on the sand. She was surrounded by water at home, but this was her place. This was where she came when she was younger, when she needed space to grieve her mother or work through her problems. Peeling off her socks and boots, she left them as she walked, digging her toes in the sand as the wind carried her forward.

   John. Negan. The punches. The kicks. The terror. The gunshots. She let it all wash over her, searching for any sort of release, any response to the endless void in her mind. Nothing.

   "God, please," she whispered, looking up into the sky. "What do I need to do? What do you want from me?"

   Nothing. Not even the screech of a seagull in reply. That's what she got for never acknowledging Him, she thought. It wasn't until her toes were numb that she walked back to the truck, resigned to being an empty shell for the rest of her life, devoid of any happiness or direction.

   By the time she got home, she decided to talk to Rick when he got back, abandoning her spot on the council for good. Maybe she could join the growers, spending her days pulling weeds and picking vegetables. It wouldn't be so bad, she mused. She'd have fresh air and exercise.

   The next two days went by slowly, and she did her best to keep up appearances for Casey and Michael's sake. It wasn't their fault that she was beyond hope. She could at least try to make them think that she was still a human, not a walking talking plant that just took up oxygen and expelled carbon dioxide instead of the other way around.

   It wasn't until after they were in bed that Negan returned. She'd just finished reading Casey a story, kissing her goodnight and promising to take her to the dock to see Carl return in the morning when she heard the door open.

   Not wanting to get into a fight, she stayed in Casey's room until he went into his own, and she heard the shower turn on. Once she was sure he was in there, she went back downstairs, curling up on the couch, pretending to read.

   "Let me guess, you're fine?"

   Gina looked up from the book a short while later to see him standing next to the couch, his arms crossed over his chest, and his hand holding something. His hair was wet, and she could smell the soap from where she was sitting.

   "I am," she murmured, closing the book and setting it on the table.

   "I brought you something," he told her, sitting down next to her and handing her a brown paper bag.

   She stuck her hand in, pulling out a cd case that was covered in scratches, and she turned it over, biting her lip. Even in her deadened state, the fact that he recalled the conversation surprised her, and she felt her hands tighten around it.

   "You remembered," she said, inhaling slowly.

   They'd been in bed one night way back at the Sanctuary, limbs entwined around each other after making love, and he'd kissed her nose, running his fingers over her face as she smiled. He'd asked her out of the blue who her favorite singer was, and she told him, laughing when he gave her a blank look.

   "You're so uncultured," she'd teased him, nibbling on his neck. "How could you not know who she is?"

   "I listen to rock, darlin', not sappy love songs," Negan had smirked, his eyes crinkling at the corners.

   "I did," he replied, leaning over to look at the cover. "I remember a lot of things."

   She studied it, running her finger along the edge until he took it back slowly, pulling her to her feet.

   "I think that this present earns me a dance," he said, reaching over to the cd player and putting it in. "Which one is your favorite?"

   "The last one," she told him hesitantly.

   When the music started, he put his arms around her, ignoring her stiffness, turning her in a slow circle as she listened to the words.

    _You think I'd leave your side baby_  
_You know me better than that_  
_You think I'd leave you down when you're down on your knees_  
_I wouldn't do that_

   Negan dropped his head so that their cheeks were touching, and she tightened her grip around his neck, closing her eyes.

    _I'll tell you you're right when you want_  
_And if only you could see into_ _me_  
_Oh when you're cold, I'll be there_  
_Hold you tight to me_

   Something was building inside her as they continued to move, continued to breathe in sync. In and out. In and out.

    _When you're on the outside baby and you can't get in_  
_I will show you, you're so much better than you know_  
_When you're lost and you're alone and you can't get back again_  
  _I will find you darling and I will bring you home_

   This was him trying. He was trying to reach her, bring her back, and she began to shake.

    _And if you want to cry_  
_I am here to dry your eyes_  
_And in no time, you'll be fine_

   "Negan," she pleaded, her voice wavering. "Please."

   He just pulled her closer, pressing his lips into her shoulder as she clung to him, deathly afraid of what she knew was coming.    

    _You think I'd leave your side baby_  
_You know me better than that_  
_You think I'd leave you down when you're down on your knees_  
_I wouldn't do that_

   "Oh God," she moaned, tears forming as he kept her moving. "I'm scared."

   "I know," he sighed, his hand moving up to her head, gently plucking at her hair.

   The ache and sorrow hit her like a truck, and she began to cry, to finally let it out. He held her, swaying with her as she dug her nails into his neck, shuddering as she sobbed, all of the pain from the past three months spilling out like she'd pulled bandage from a bleeding wound, only she wasn't able to patch it back up. The hole was too big.

   Once she started, she couldn't stop, and he didn't seem to mind. The only thing he did was gradually pull her to the couch, letting her lay on his chest as she whimpered, stroking her hair. At some point, exhaustion took over, and she fell into a fitful sleep, sitting up with a start a few hours later.

   Negan was still out, and she rubbed her face, her eyes as dry as the Sahara desert. She felt like hammered shit as she watched him sleep, his long lashes resting on his cheeks. Overwhelmed, she leaned back down, kissing him tenderly until she heard Michael let out a cry.

   As quietly as she could, she left him lying there, climbing the steps into Michael's room. He'd settled himself back down, and she waited a few minutes to make sure he wasn't going to get back up again before closing his door. Negan was standing in the hallway, and he took her hand, kissing it before going into the guest room.


	78. Chapter 78

 

   Reaching out blindly, Gina nearly knocked the alarm clock off the nightstand, catching it at the last minute. It was early, but she sat up, looking around her room. She'd had a breakthrough the night before, but she needed some more closure, at least on the Negan front.

   Opening her door, she saw that his was open, and she tiptoed in. He was sound asleep on his back, snoring softly, and she made her way over to the bed, climbing on. She'd jostled the mattress, but he was oblivious, and she sat there for a moment, watching him until she started to feel like a stalker.

   "Negan."

   There was no response, so she shook his shoulder, and he mumbled something unintelligible.

   "Negan," she said it a little louder, and he rolled over, facing her with his eyes still closed.

   "I'm pregnant."

   He sat up immediately, his eyes flying open as he steadied himself on the bed.

   "What?"

   "Sorry," she apologized, sitting back and crossing her legs. "I just wanted to wake you up."

   "Unfuckingcool," he mumbled, running his hand through his hair, before collapsing back onto the bed. "What time is it?"

   "Just after five," she told him. "I know it's early, but can we talk?"

   "Yep," he said in a rough, sleepy voice, struggling to keep his eyes open.

   "Thank you for last night," she said, reaching out for his hand as he began to focus on her, becoming a little more alert.

   "You're welcome," he murmured, letting her pull his arm as she put his hand in between hers. She looked down, tracing his digits with her own, just studying the form, the shape. He had nice fingers, long and tapered, with just a trace of dark hair.

   "I know you're probably sick of talking about it, but I just want you to know how I felt when everything happened last fall."

   "Gina, I'm sorry for the pain I caused you," he said, but she cut him off.

   "I don't need any more apologies," she interrupted, still with her head down. "That's not what I want. I just need you to hear me, to understand why I felt so betrayed, and maybe give me a little insight."

   He didn't answer, but he inched a little closer to her, bending his arm to rest his head on his palm.

   "I didn't just lose the man I loved, I also lost my best friend," she began, speaking to his hand. "The sex part of it killed me, don't get me wrong, but it was also the thoughts of you laying in bed with her, sharing your feelings and the secret parts of yourself that I assumed were only for me."

   "I didn't," he tried to assure her. "Nothing like that ever happened. It was one stupid, drunken decision."

   "Well, a part of me wonders what I did or didn't do to drive you to seek comfort with someone else. Did I make you feel less than? Was I neglecting you?"

   "No," Negan said carefully after a pause, trying not to place blame on her. "It wasn't you that did it. I did it to myself."

   "How?"

   "I pushed you to join the council because I knew you'd be good at it. You're smart, generally level-headed, and you're a good negotiator. And you did excel at it. You started to blossom, and you grew into a woman that..."

   He took a deep breath, and she finally looked him in the eyes.

   "What?" she asked. "Didn't need you anymore?"

   "That's what it felt like to me," he said, sounding remorseful. "It's been a long fucking time since no one needed me. I'm okay with not being in charge, I really am, but, you were just so, so on top of shit. My self-esteem took a hit when you ordered me not to leave town without permission."

   "We have such a different take on things," she replied, not meaning to cause offense. "I saw the whole thing as you believing I could fly, and giving me the wings to do so. I thought we were in flight together, a team. And I didn't want anyone outside the walls because it wasn't safe. It wasn't because I thought you couldn't take care of yourself."

   "I did. I do believe in you," he insisted, "it was my fault for not opening my fucking mouth and saying something. I regressed and went back to doing what I've always done. Fucking things up. Wrecking things. I'm like that stupid fucking cartoon that Casey watches."

   "Wreck It Ralph?" she asked, looking at him like he was crazy.

   "Yeah," he said, grinning like a fool. "I'm Wreck It Negan. He kinda even looks like me, right? Great hair, big arms?"

   She had to chuckle. He was trying just too hard.

   "Why are you such an asshole?"

   "I'm working on figuring it out," he told her, easing his hand from hers and resting it on her knee. He gauged her reaction, and she was fine with it. "I'm serious about that, as serious as a heart attack. It's my solemn promise to always be honest with you and to come to you if I start to doubt myself, or my place in your life."

   Uncrossing her legs, she stretched out on the bed, resting her head on the pillow, and Negan looked down at her as she noticed for the first time that he was wearing a gold chain. It was so out of character for him that she reached out, removing it from under his shirt. He tensed up, and when she had it all the way out, she understood why. Both of their rings were hanging together, the gold links looped through them. Deciding not to say anything, she let them go, and they fell back against his chest.

   "Can I ask you something now?" he questioned, stuffing them back under his shirt.

   "Mmmhmm."

   "Will you talk to me about what happened with John? I only know what Rick told me. If you're able to."

   Gina shifted away from him, turning over onto her back as she felt a flash of panic.

   "If you're not ready," he said, letting his head fall back on his pillow. "It's okay."

   "No," she insisted with a flick of her wrist. "No, it's okay. What do you want to know?"

   "As much as you're able to tell me."

   "Like I said, I woke up and he was in the bed with me. I thought it was you, but he had his arms around me and when I said your name, he tightened his grip, turning me over."

   She could feel it in her chest, even though her ribs were healing well. He'd had such a tight hold of her, she remembered struggling to breathe.

   "I couldn't take a deep breath, he was pressing so hard on my ribs," she said, taking one just because she could. "He just was so unhinged, so angry. He said he knew that I went back to you, that I slept with you. Said I made him fall in love with me, and then treated him like a fool, or something. That I used him to get back at you."

   Negan held up his hand. "You don't have to tell me any more, love."

   But she kept talking, letting it out so that it didn't bounce around in her brain anymore.

   "I started to panic at first because he had me pinned, but I thought that if I could get him calmed down, I'd be able to get free somehow. So I lied to him," she whispered, looking over at Negan, who was watching her for any signs of acute distress. "I told him that I was sorry, and begged for his forgiveness. Uh, and I was able to get him to let go of me, and get him on top of me."

   It felt sickening to be telling him this, but she pressed on, averting her eyes. "I got one leg in between his, and I let him kiss me. When I knew his guard was down, I kneed him in the groin and bit down on his tongue. He-, he punched me in the face and I think that's when he kicked me into the wall."

   "Jesus Christ, I'm sorry," Negan muttered, reaching out before retracting his arm. 

   "It's not the first time I've been terrorized by a man," she said numbly. "I'm one of the lucky ones. There are probably lots of women who've had it worse since civilization cannibalized itself."

   "This is my fault, though."

   Gina took another deep breath, counting to ten before she responded.

   "It's not your fault. It's his fault and mine."

   "How do you figure this is on you?" he asked sharply before composing himself. "How so?" he asked again, in a much softer tone.

   "Well, it's his fault for being such a fucking psycho," she reasoned. "And it's mine for even getting involved with him in the first place. I never should've tried to force myself to move on. All it did was bring me more heartbreak, and it didn't change the way I still come back to you."

   There was a flash of heat between them, and she wasn't sure if it was caused by her or him. Gina rolled over so that they were face to face and she noticed that he looked both angry and upset.

   "This is exactly why this is my fault," he said, squeezing his eyes shut. "I'm no good for you."

   "You are and you aren't," she admitted, patting his face roughly, and he opened his eyes. "You're a good man that sometimes does bad things. And I think that I've put you on a pedestal, and held you to expectations that you couldn't live up to. I've romanticized you in my mind, given the way we met and how our relationship has evolved."

   The corners of her mouth lifted slightly, and she tapped him again. "Now I really know that you're just a man. A mess of a man and I'm a mess of a woman. Together, we just might be able to raise our kids into less messy, functional human beings."

   Her hand was still on his cheek, and she caressed it slowly before leaning in. "But I'm still processing everything, and I still need time."

   Negan gazed at her, looking from her eyes to her mouth and back again. "I'm in no hurry. I'll wait as long as you want."

   Emboldened slightly, she kissed him. It was the first step, and she opened her mouth, tugging gently on his bottom lip. He groaned into her lips, and she let her tongue dart out, sweeping across slowly, feeling a pull down in her stomach. The only thing he did was put his hand on her hip, pressing his fingers lightly, and she let her own wander to the back of his neck, where she threaded them into his hair.

   It was a kiss to begin again, and they remained interlocked until Casey's door opened and her little feet made their way to his room. Negan released her, and they both sat up as she came in. Gina was breathing unsteadily as Casey clambered onto the bed in between them.

   "How come you're in here, mom?" she asked, rubbing at her eyes as Negan slid the covers down so that she could crawl underneath them. Gina noticed that he covered up his lap, and she gave him an embarrassed smile.

   "Dad and I were just talking," she said, sliding her butt and legs under the blanket and settling back down. "You're up early, bug."

   "Well, you said that you'd take me to the dock to see Carl come back."

   "I will, but he's not due back for a few hours, I think," Gina told her, stroking her hair. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Negan's eyes narrow as understanding dawned on him.

   "You have a crush on Carl, don't you?" he blurted out, oblivious to Gina's warning look.

   "No! Mom!"

   "You're just a kid," Negan scolded her, and she pushed away from him, hiding her face in Gina's chest.

   "Smooth," she retorted, hugging Casey and rubbing her back. "You know, it's poetic justice that you have a daughter."

   "This isn't funny, Gina," he snapped, and she snorted, but Casey was mortified, and she threw the covers off, running back into her room. The door slammed loudly, and a second later, Michael started to cry.

   Rushing in, she picked him up, soothing him as she brought him back to Negan's bed, rocking him back and forth as she sat facing him.

   "It's just a little crush," she told him, shaking her head.

   "He's sixteen," Negan thundered. "She's just a baby."

   "Jesus, it's not like she wants to sleep with him," she chastised him. "She's just infatuated with him. It's her first bit of puppy love, and it's not like Carl is out there hitting on her. Calm down."

   He continued to splutter angrily until she took a deep breath.

   "Enough," she said. "You humiliated her. You better go in there and fix it. Unless you want her to run away at fourteen and make you a grandfather."

   "I told you this isn't a joke," he growled, but he got out of the bed, and she heard him knock on her door before walking in. Gina wasn't sure why, but she was taking a perverse pleasure in this turn of events. Negan, king of the studs, had to now live life on the other side, worrying that someone was going to steal Casey's heart and her virtue.

   "We're going to make sure you're a perfect gentleman," he purred to Michael, taking him back to his room to get changed. "You're going to open doors, pull out chairs, and treat women like the ladies that they are, aren't you?"

   She got a jumble of nonsense in reply, and she changed his diaper, blowing raspberries on his stomach as he giggled. Guilt over the last few weeks twisted in her heart, but she couldn't look back anymore. All that was behind her was regret and bad decisions. She had to look towards the future, and hope that the damage that was done could repair itself, both with her and the community. Once she had him dressed, she carried him into her room, laying him on the bed surrounded by pillows as she got herself cleaned up and presentable.

   Breakfast was simple, only oatmeal and canned fruit for everyone, and the tension at the table was palpable. For once, it had nothing to do with her, and she watched Negan and Casey avoid looking at each other. An educated guess told her the talk didn't go very well, and she gave Casey a sympathetic wink, causing her to smile a little before reverting her gaze to the oatmeal.

   Michael was oblivious, noshing happily on a bowl of food, and he picked up a small soft piece of strawberry that she'd cut up, shoving it clumsily into his mouth. He was getting so big, and his eyes had begun to change to a hazel brown, making him even more of Negan's clone. The dark hair that hung behind his ears was starting to curl up, and she ran her fingers along it, debating whether or not to cut it.

   "Don't even think about it," Negan warned her as he shoved a spoonful of oatmeal into his mouth.

   "Do you want him to look like a hippie?"

   "No haircuts until he turns one," he said, as if that were the final word on the subject.

  "Dada," Michael screeched, banging his hands on the tray, and Negan gave her a shitty grin.

   "That's right, son," he chortled. "The men have spoken."

   Casey muttered something under her breath, and Gina smirked, watching Negan grind his teeth. The rest of the meal was quiet, and once Casey and Negan got dressed, they left the house to head down to the dock. It was cloudy but warm as they took a casual stroll down the street, and Casey held her hand, standing on the other side of her away from Negan while he pushed Michael in his stroller.

   Rick and Daryl were already at the marina when they arrived, and Rick appraised her as he approached.

   "You look much better," he told her, and she punched him in the shoulder

   "I'm getting there," she acknowledged, letting go of Casey's hand. "I'd still like to take a few more days if you don't mind."

   "Take as long as you need."

   Daryl and Negan stood together, talking in low voices as she and Rick had their own conversation. He'd gone to Arcadia for their latest trade, and Johnson had given him a rough time, wanting to know where she was.

   "I didn't tell him anything," he explained, scrutinizing the horizon as he searched for any sign of the ships. He was much calmer this time since it was Carl's third trip out, and Jesus and Ezekiel had gone with him. "I just assured him that you'd be back for the next trip."

   "That I will," she agreed, looking over her shoulder for Casey, who was holding Judith's hand.

   "Negan finally figured out that Casey has a crush on Carl," she said with a grin.

   Rick laughed, shaking his head. "I want to mess with him so bad."

   "Please don't," she begged. "My house is already prickly as it is. He made a big scene this morning."

   "Oh, come on," he grumbled, giving her doe eyes.

   "If Casey hears you, I'll kick your ass," she told him, and he took off towards Daryl and Negan, leaving her standing alone at the edge of the dock.

   As the seconds turned to minutes, she sat down with her legs hanging over the edge, and she let herself become lost in thought. The previous night and today were a turning point for her, a reminder that life goes on, and she could go along with it, or stay stuck in stasis.

   "Mind if I join you?"

   Gina looked up to see Carol standing over her, and she waved to the empty spot beside her. Carol got down next to her, and they sat in a companionable silence as they waited. There was a lot of hustle and bustle behind them, but it was easy to block out when the ocean loomed before them, endlessly stretching out.

   "I'm glad to see you coming around," Carol murmured, staring straight ahead.

   "I just needed time, I guess," Gina replied. "How about you?"

   "I'm adjusting. I always do."

   "Well, I'll be starting target practice in a few days. It would be great if you could help me. I heard you're a pretty good shot."

   Carol gave her a tired smile. "I've had to be, for a long time."

   Unsure how to respond, Gina smiled back. Carol was an enigma to her. Every time she thought she peeled a layer away, there was always a tougher one underneath.

   "The guys are doing all of the heavy lifting right now, but I have a feeling we're the ones that are going to have to finish this," Carol said, looking at her with a stony expression.

   "Why do you think that?"

  "Because these are women we're going to be fighting. I bet you almost all of them are women, and they're doing this for a very specific reason. And who knows women better than other women?"

   Gina's skin began to tingle, and she felt the hairs stand up on the back of her neck.

   "What reason?"

   Her eyebrows fished downward, and she exhaled sharply.

   "I don't know yet."


	79. Chapter 79

   The roof was warm from the sun, and Gina plopped down on the edge, her legs swinging back and forth as she surveyed the pretend war that was happening below.

   They were on their second week of training, and the ragtag collection of gunners they'd assembled were improving with every practice session. The first day, a few of the men had grumbled and mocked the exercise, until Gina shot each of them in the crotch, causing all of their legs to buckle.

   "If you have no interest in learning, don't waste my fucking time," she ordered, standing over three of them, shooting another shot on the street near each of their heads.

   "This isn't a joke. If you can't take out intruders that are armed to the teeth and wearing protection, then you're no good to any of us. None of you have laid eyes on the carnage that these assholes have caused."

   When she'd turned around, Carol was giving her the warmest smile she'd ever seen on the older woman's face.

   "Fuckwits," Gina muttered, coming to stand shoulder to shoulder with her.

   They had three uniforms, and each day, they'd rotate out guinea pigs, dressing them up and covering their elbows, knees, neck, and back with clear plastic wrap. It kept them clean, and Gina washed the armor and clothing every night.

   After the first few days, she'd handed over the ground work to Carol, preferring to perch on Negan's old roof so that she could observe, calling out instructions from up top. Talia would join them every other training session, and her sister would usually stay with one of the weaker volunteers, helping them with their aim.

   By the time they had to go back out for more supplies, the right peninsula looked like a Jackson Pollock painting, multi-colored splatters decorating nearly every square inch of the neighborhood. Gina thought it looked cool, and if it wasn't being done for such a serious reason, she would've reveled in the beauty of the abstract art.

   Negan spent more time with Rick, Jesus, and Daryl than with her, and they were gone for days at a time, chasing down leads and looking for any other settlements in the area. There was one place they knew for sure that was friendly, but no one had ventured to the Sanctuary yet. They were going to have to see them at some point, but Gina had convinced Rick to wait until their people were trained and Arcadia was included. She and Negan had gotten into a scrap about it, and she hadn't seen him since.

   He was insistent on making the trek there when they did go, and Gina was against it.

   "It's not a good idea," she'd argued, to no avail. "Do you remember how you left that place?"

   "No, I don't need a motherfucking reminder," he snarled, throwing clothes into a bag as she stood in the doorway of his room. "I don't give a good goddamn what they think of me at this stage of the game. We need to go there at some point. We're all separated by geography and circumstances, and that makes us easy pickings. If we don't band together, we're all going to be wiped out."

   "Well, I get that, but you don't need to do it. I'll go."

   "No. When Rick goes, so do I."

   "Stupid dick," she muttered, retreating to her room. God, he was so fucking hard headed. She wasn't just voicing her objections as a council member. It was also the memories of their forced separation guiding her misgivings. Years had passed since the coup, and as far as she knew, Dwight was still running things. But Negan being Negan, refused to even entertain the notion that he'd be more of a hindrance than a help.

   Rick was surprisingly nonchalant when she'd expressed her concerns on their last visit to Arcadia.

   "I need him," he said, refusing to look at her. "He's essential, and you know it."

   "Rick," she began, but he cut her off.

   "One of the only reasons I was able to beat him was because Dwight kept us in the loop," he told her, ignoring the look on her face. She still hadn't forgotten his betrayal. "Negan was top dog because he's smart and he thinks through any possible outcome. I know he did things the wrong way and certainly for the wrong reasons, but I'm glad I didn't kill him. I wouldn't have been able to say that two years ago."

   Gina didn't speak to him the entire way home, and when they passed the gates, she got out of the truck, going immediately to her office where she stayed until after dark.

   "Gina," Carol shouted, breaking her reverie.

   "Yeah?"

   "We're done for the day. You coming down?"

   Crawling back down on the ladder, she began to gather up the guns, offering encouragement to the men and women who handed them off.

   "Cherie, this was your best day yet," she praised, patting her on the back.

   Cherie was even meeker than Diane, but she was a longtime shooter, growing up around guns, and when she had one in her hand, something changed inside her. She became almost machinelike, focusing only on the targets. A definite asset.

   Once everything was cleaned up, she handed a bag to Carol, and the two of them lagged behind the others as they rounded the bend back towards the gates.

   "I'll be going to Arcadia tomorrow with Ezekiel," Carol mentioned as she lit up a cigarette, taking a drag and passing it to Gina.

   "This is your first time going back, right?"

   "Yes. We're going to spend the day at the Kingdom."

   It was undoubtedly going to be a morbid task. Other than returning once to bury their dead, no one had been back as far as she was aware of.

   "I'll be glad to come along and help out if you need it," Gina offered, passing the smoke back, and Carol shook her head.

   "You're needed here. We've got it under control."

   Gina nodded her head. She didn't blame her. The Kingdom was a graveyard, filled with people they still mourned. What she'd seen from the aftermath still haunted her. Though the bodies were laid to rest, the remnants of suffering couldn't be shuttled off into a grave.

   "I've been thinking about what you said that day at the dock," Gina said, giving Carol a sidelong glance.

   "And?"

   "And I think you're right. This group has been sure to take out as many women as possible, and they're only taking men. Why wouldn't they just kill everyone?"

   "I don't know," Carol replied, a hint of frustration leaking into her voice. "Are they building an army?"

   "Possibly," Gina mused, stamping out the butt of the cigarette with her heel. "But why kill the females?"

   Neither one had an answer.

   "Listen, when you get back," Gina said, pulling her to a stop, "I think we should-"

   The rapid approach of trucks cut her off, and they watched as Rick, Jesus, Daryl, and Negan headed into the gates. The two of them followed behind, handing off the bags to Chuck, who took them into the armory house.

   When the foursome got out, they were all covered in blood and dirt, and Gina rushed over.

   "What the fuck happened?"

   "We ran into a small group, nothing major," Daryl muttered, shaking his arm. There was a large bruise forming on his right bicep, and she stepped out of the way as Carol leaned in to examine it.

   " _The_ group?"

   "No," Rick told her, slamming the door shut. "Just a group of about six or seven men. They had the road blocked about twenty miles out."

   "How do you know it wasn't them?" she pressed, giving him the once over before looking at Negan.

   "Because they didn't have any bullets. Just empty guns.They're not a problem anymore."

   Negan came towards her, and she was relieved to see that other than bloody knuckles, he was pretty much intact. Reaching out, she took one of his hands, running her fingers gently along the cuts.

   "Well, did they say anything?" Carol questioned.

   "No," Negan replied, glancing at her quickly before pulling his hand back. "They just wanted our shit."

   She and Carol shared a look. It couldn't be a coincidence, could it? Deciding to keep her mouth shut, she turned towards home. Jesus sidled up next to her, giving her a smile.

   "You don't think it was random?"

   "I don't know," she admitted. "It could be. Or maybe they were just feeling you out. Seeing how skilled you guys are. Are you sure there was no one else just watching? Waiting to follow you home?"

   "We checked the area out thoroughly. Found the house they were staying in."

   "How?"

   "Daryl, of course," he admitted. "They left a trail that even I could pick up, though. We didn't head straight back," he assured her, to no avail. "We were very careful."

   As they passed Talia's the rest of them branched off, leaving her and Negan alone. He pushed ahead of her, opening the door. Tina was there with the kids, and Casey came running down the steps with Rebecca hot on her heels. Keeping his hands out of her view, he kissed the top of her head before greeting Tina with a smile and doing the same with Michael. As Casey hugged her, he took off up the steps to get cleaned up.

   Michael was asleep, so she put him in the swing after Tina left, leaving Casey in the living room while she went upstairs with bandages and antiseptic. Negan was already in the shower, so Gina sat down on the bed to wait. They still hadn't slept together, not that they would've had much of a chance. Between his trips and hers when she wasn't training, they were barely under the same roof most evenings.

   The water shut off, and she leaned back on her hands as the door opened, expelling a cloud of steam. He had the towel barely wrapped around his waist, and she took a deep breath. Gina hadn't seen him this way in a long time, and her thighs were tingling. He looked at her with one eyebrow raised, but she only gestured to the bandages, and he sat down next to her.

   Beads of water rolled down his chest, and she swallowed hard as she tried to keep her eyes on his hands. She was afraid to sleep with him, and she was afraid not to. They couldn't be just roommates forever, not if she was honest with herself. There was too much between them, and each day it was harder and harder to resist. So much so that she wondered why she was. Life was short, and although she couldn't ever forget what happened, she didn't want it to dominate her choices anymore. He'd fucked up. He'd apologized. He'd done whatever she asked without complaint.

   Fighting the urge to attack him, she affixed the last bandage, standing up and walking quickly to the door, back down the steps.

   "Can we eat now?" Casey asked, getting up from the couch.

   "Sure, bug. Come in the kitchen and help me get something ready."

   The two of them stood in the pantry, debating on what to make until Negan came in, holding Michael. He leaned past her, brushing his chest against her shoulder suggestively with a smirk as he grabbed some of Michael's food, and she suppressed the shivers. He knew her like a book, she thought tartly.

   Grumbling to herself, she took a box of pasta, handing it to Casey and plucking a jar of sauce she made herself, carrying them to the stove. Distracted, she cut her finger while she was chopping garlic, swearing so loudly that Casey covered her ears.

   "Mom, geez," she said, rolling her eyes.

   "Sorry," she apologized, running her finger under the water.

   "Everything okay?" Negan called out as she shut the faucet off.

   "Yes, we're fine," she answered, wrapping her finger in a paper towel as she sent Casey to fetch one of the remaining bandages.

   The rest of the meal preparations went better, and she carried the large dish of pasta out of the kitchen while Casey brought in the garlic bread, which was still steaming hot.

   "Thanks, darlin'," Negan said as he wiped Michael's face. "That looks amazing. Now, what are you two going to eat?"

   He chuckled, earning another eye roll from Casey, who sat next to him. They were back to being thick as thieves, and no further talk of Carl and her crush had occurred. He still heard it relentlessly from Daryl and Rick, but Casey was none the wiser.

   She handed Michael a few toys, and he banged them on the tray before trying to shove them in his mouth. Negan dished out the pasta before taking two pieces of garlic bread, giving her the plate, stroking her finger with his own as he smiled at her. Taking one, she set it on the table, slamming it down a little too hard, and he smiled even wider. She wanted to slap him.

   "How was school, baby girl?" he asked, turning his attention to Casey.

   "Um, we did a lot of math, and we had to go into the greenhouses and help pick vegetables."

   The chatter continued as they ate, and Gina brought Michael onto her lap, feeding him tiny bits of plain spaghetti. He responded with a series of shrieks and coos, reaching towards her plate.

   "You love your pasta, don't you sweetie? Just like Mommy," she said, kissing him on the cheek. When she glanced up, Negan was licking his fingers, each one disappearing slowly in and out of his mouth as he eyeballed her.

   Well, two could play that game.

   She did the dishes while he took the kids into the living room, and when she joined them, Casey and Negan were cuddled on the couch together with Michael in between them. Gina got out his play mat, setting him down on it as she got down on her hands and knees, making sure her ass was facing the couch, and she leaned down on her elbows, sticking it up higher. He cleared his throat, and she eased down to her stomach in an almost serpentine way, her legs moving up and down as she crossed them at the ankles.

   Michael rolled himself over, getting up on his hands and knees, scooting towards her as she encouraged him, and he smacked his head into her, leaving a trail of drool on her cheek. Up and down, up and down, her toes would graze his knees until she brought them back up, and she could hear him shifting around on the couch, giving her an ego boost. When the baby started rubbing his eyes, she hoisted him up, resting him on her chest after she got to her feet.

   "I'm going to put him down and get a shower," she told the two of them, giving Casey a kiss goodnight, not looking directly at Negan. Mother and son rocked for a bit in the chair, and once he was out, she set him down, watching him for a minute. He was peaceful, a tiny smile forming on his face as he dreamed, his tiny thumb finding its way into his mouth.

   Undressing as she walked, Gina tossed her clothes into the hamper before walking nude into the bathroom. She turned on the water, hunting around for her body wash that she only used sparingly. Normally, the bar soap was fine, but the wash had a jasmine scent to it, one of her favorites, and she lathered it up, washing twice because it smelled so good. Shaving everywhere took her longer than expected since she'd blown it off lately, usually in a hurry to get to her job or the kids. It was another way to keep her from jumping right back into bed with him.

   After turning off the water, she wrapped her hair in one towel, and her body in the other, applying the matching lotion. Negan came into her room, and she saw him in her peripheral vision, but she didn't turn her head, lifting her leg up onto the sink to apply the lotion, her toes pointed demurely. He was sitting in the middle of the bed watching her, so she did the same with the other leg, sweeping her hands to her stomach as she heard him exhale sharply.

   "Can I help you?" she asked, working overtime to keep from smiling when she finally glanced at him.

   He didn't answer, he just kept leering at her until she left the bathroom, coming to stand just out of his reach. Unwinding the towel from her head, she tossed it at his face, and he caught it as he got to his feet, backing her to the wall with a look of longing that made her knees weak.

   "Are you-" he began, clearing his throat again. "You're torturing me on purpose."

   Resting her teeth on her bottom lip, she looked up through her lashes as she placed her palm flat against his chest. For a split second, she pushed, and his face dropped, but her fingers grasped the thin material, and she pulled him closer so that their chests were nearly touching.

   The teasing was gone, the cockiness was gone, replaced by a vulnerability that she'd rarely seen from him.

   "Are you sure?"

   A kiss was her answer, and she raised herself up, letting go of his shirt to swing her arm around his neck, and he was on her in seconds. Her skin had goosebumps as his finger slid down along her towel, flicking it off, and he pressed her flush against the wall, his tongue running down the center of her neck into the hollow of her throat.

   Grazing lightly over her collarbone, he made his way down between her breasts, cupping them with his hands as Gina steadied herself with his shoulders, sucking in her breath through her teeth. Down her stomach, kissing her scar until he got down on his knees, letting his fingers trail down her stomach and around her waist, lifting up her right leg and setting it along his neck.

   She could feel his hot breath as he inched closer, licking her thighs as she pulled his hair, closing her eyes as soon as he began to lap at her. A throaty moan escaped her as he moved back and forth, his thumb pressing up against her sex, moving in circles as he nipped at her folds. Her nails dug into his scalp, the friction from his beard, warm tongue, and rough, calloused thumb working together to lead her closer to near hysteria, and when she came, her hips bucked into his face while she whimpered, calling out his name.

   Negan didn't move, his mouth continuing to work her overly sensitive skin as he made satisfied sounds, his free hand reaching around to the small of her back to keep her from fidgeting. Her legs were shaking when he righted himself, and she didn't resist when he took her by the hand, laying her down on her back in the middle of the bed.

   After discreetly wiping his face, he took off his shirt, crawling onto the bed above her. Reaching up, she cradled his face in her hands, unable to put together a coherent thought if her life depended on it, lost in the aftershocks of pleasure. One handed, he eased off his pants, letting her take him in her hand, guiding him inside. He huffed in satisfaction as he got deeper so that their hips were aligned, and she wrapped her legs around his waist, gripping his ass as he began to move slowly. Frustratingly slowly.

   She didn't want to make love, she wanted to fuck, and Gina urged him to go harder. He obliged, quickening the pace as she dug her nails in, forcing his mouth open with her tongue. Before he could get too carried away, she flipped him onto his back, reinserting him as she leaned over, kissing his neck and gyrating in circles. He had his eyes closed, and she whispered in his ear.

   "Look at me," she ordered, biting at his neck before straightening back up. Lifting his hands, he massaged her breasts, pinching her nipples between his fingers, eliciting a groan from her as she lifted herself up and down roughly, bracing herself on his waist. Once he started to grunt, she moved as fast as she could, and Negan sat up, wrapping her legs back around his waist as he dumped her onto her back.

   "Fuck, Gina," he swore, coming inside her, resting his forehead on her sternum. "Fuck."

   They were both sweaty and panting, their skin sticking together. He lifted his head, looking at her with a hazy expression before sliding out of her and rolling off to the side, trying to catch his breath. Gina stretched her arms above her head as she arched her back, feeling Negan's fingers skimming over her breasts.

   "How do you feel?" he wondered, and she looked at him out the corner of her eye.

   "Like I need another shower," she replied, turning to the side so that they were face to face.

   "You know what I mean," he said, kissing her gently.

   "I wouldn't have let you in here if I wasn't ready," she told him, draping her hand over his waist, pulling him closer.

   "Do me a favor and never stick your ass up in the air like that again. I was having filthy fucking thoughts with our kids in the same room."

   "Well, then, don't tease me either," she shot back.

   "What do you like about me?"

   "Physically?" Gina asked, taken aback by the sharp detour the conversation had taken.

   "Yes."

   "You know you're gorgeous," she mumbled, dropping her hand. He grabbed it, placing it back on his hip.

   "Yes, I know I'm a handsome son of a bitch," he said with a smirk before tilting her chin up. "But I want to know. What is it about me that you find irresistible?"

   "Why are you asking me this now?"

   "Because," he admitted reluctantly. "I've spent the last few months beating myself up, with good reason. I just want to hear something positive."

   He slumped onto his back, and his lip stuck out slightly as she watched him.

   "Your eyes, for one," she said, and he scoffed. "You asked, asshole. Let me answer."

   "Sorry," he muttered.

  "You have beautiful eyes. They change colors depending on your mood, which is helpful."

   Running her hand upwards, she continued. "Your chest hair."

   "For real?"

   "For real," she told him, pulling at it lightly. "I love your chest hair."

   "You're not one of those furries, are you?"

   "What the fuck is a furry?" she asked, her mouth turning down.

   "You know, those fetish people that get turned on by costumes. Animals and shit."

   "Um, no," she said, laughing. "Different strokes, I guess, but no. You've got just the right amount. If you looked like one of those seventies weirdos with the thick bushy chest hair, and like, a speedo and gaudy gold chain, you'd have never gotten in my pants."

   He snorted, and she continued. "I like your hip muscles, right here." Running her hands south, she traced the dip in his abdomen, happy when he let out a rumble. "When you have your pants low on your hips, I always want to mount you."

   "Nice," he smirked, with a wink. "That's going in the spank bank."

   "My favorite thing, though is your smell," she said, ignoring him.

   "Really?" That brought a round of interest, and he pulled her on top of him, her legs bracing her up.

   "Oh, yeah," she breathed. "You must have some sort of special pheromone or something because when I breathe in your neck, it's another panty dropper." To demonstrate, she bent down, nuzzling him just under his ear. He began to get hard again, and she started kissing her way down, pushing his hands away when he tried to rush her.

   "Gina," he moaned, winding his hands through her hair.

   "Keep saying my name," she demanded, grinning as her head dipped down. "You're my bitch right now."

   "I always am," he sighed, twisting his hips when she took him in her mouth, sucking hard as she bobbed her head up and down.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay, some sexy times! Boo, some bad stuff coming around the bend.


	80. Chapter 80

  
  
_She ran, her feet skimming lightly over the warm, gently worn boards, getting further and further from his calls. The air traveled in and out of her mouth as she laughed, launching herself over the edge with a scream._

_Her feet hit the water first, and she was engulfed by the warm liquid, the current caressing every inch of her skin as she sunk down below the gentle waves. It was silent, with only the sounds of her heartbeat thumping in her ears, and she kept herself under the surface until she felt him jump in beside her. Once her head hit the open air, she felt Negan grab her by the arm, pulling her towards him._

_"I hate it when you do that," he said, wrapping his arms around her waist, and she grinned._

_"It's just too much fun," she sputtered, splashing him in the face before kissing him. His lips were salty, and his skin was hot from the sun, which was high above them in the cloudless sky. The water was so clear that they could see to the bottom, both of their legs treading water until she snaked hers around him, resting her arms on his shoulders._  
_They bobbed up and down with the gentle waves, and she dipped her head back to sweep the strands off of her face with a contented sigh._

_"Let's never go back," she told him, as she sat back up. "Let's just live here forever."_

_"We could have babies, you know."_

_"Babies?"_

_"A shit load of babies," he replied, untying the top of her bathing suit, letting the straps fall into the water. The ocean breeze left a cooling sensation on her skin, bronzed from the constant rays. They drifted together into the shade of the bungalow as he pulled at the bow along her back, setting her breasts free._

_"We just got here," she breathed as he licked at her neck, closing her eyes. "I don't want to leave yet." Here was happiness. Here was the two of them, alone on this island._

_He shook her shoulder._

_"Gina?"_

_"What?" The light behind her eyelids from the sun was orange._

_He shook her again._

   "Gina?"

   Her eyes snapped open. The orange light wasn't the sun. It was the lamp in their bedroom, and she was acutely angry and irritated.

   "Are you awake?"

   "I am now," she snapped. "What the hell do you want?"

   "Jesus fuck, never mind," he said angrily, flipping off the light and turning over roughly as she was plunged back into the dark, unable to make out anything. Negan punched at his pillow, shaking the mattress and she rolled towards him, blinking until she could see the shadow of his shoulder.

   Scooting closer, she put her hand on the top of his arm, and he shook it off. Undeterred, she did it again, this time kissing the back of his neck.

   "I'm sorry," she apologized sincerely. "You woke me up from literally the best dream I've ever had."

   He didn't respond until his curiosity finally won out, but he didn't turn around.

   "About what?"

   "Paradise," she lamented, kissing his neck again.

   Thawing out, he rolled over to face her, and she could just make out his eyes in the dim light.

   "Was I there, by chance?"

   "Yes," Gina told him. "We were in Bora Bora, I think. We were in this overwater bungalow that looked a lot like the one I stayed in when I went there once."

   "I didn't know you went to Bora Bora."

   A wistful smile crossed her face as she thought back in time. "I went on a girls trip. Five of us went, and we stayed for over a week. It was amazing. One of the best times I've ever had."

   "Anyways," she continued, "we were in the water, and you told me you wanted to have babies. And I wanted to stay there forever."

   "We already have babies," he reminded her, and she could hear the amusement in his voice.

   "Well, we didn't in this dream. Maybe we were on our honeymoon or something. You know, I never dream about the kids," she mused, gripping him by the arm. "I think because so much of my waking thoughts revolve around them. But it was just so peaceful. There weren't any walkers, or people trying to kill us. Just papaya, rum, clear water, and you were nice and tan."

   "Damn, I'm sorry I pulled you from that."

   "Me, too. Maybe I can force myself back there when I go back to sleep."

   While she was talking, Negan put his finger under the seam of her panties, running it back and forth around her thigh.

   "So, why did you wake me up?"

   "First I'm going to need to know what you did on your girl's vacation. Did you sleep with a lot of guys?" he asked with a hint of jealousy.

   "Not a whole lot."

   His hand tightened around her leg, and she chuckled. "I was single and on vacation. That whole week was a nonstop party. I had a life before you came along," she reminded him. "I didn't just wink into existence when you found me."

   Negan didn't respond, and she almost made a crack about his manwhore ways, but that would've been unwise.

   "What's wrong?" she eventually questioned him. "Why are you awake?"

   His fingers loosened up, and he went back to stroking the skin along her panty line. "I don't know."

   Rick and Negan were heading to the Sanctuary in the morning, unable to put it off any longer. He'd been quiet all evening, and she wondered if he was apprehensive, going back after all of this time.

   "Talk to me, honey."

   He reached out and flipped the light back on, and she blinked, squinting her eyes.

   "Do you know that's the first time you've ever called me that?" he told her, sitting up. He was facing away from her, but she heard the ache in his voice.

   "No, it's not."

   "Yes, it is. You either call me Negan, asshole, or jackass."

   She felt like the worst person all of a sudden, and she sat up, resting her chin on his shoulder. "I'm so sorry," she whispered into his ear. "I'm the asshole."

   "I don't mind," he assured her, turning his head slightly. "I never did. Just when you said it right then, it felt really good. Really good."

   Gina kissed him on the cheek, pulling his head closer to hers. "I love you. And you're my honey more than you're my asshole. So, I'll try to use that term of endearment more often."

   Lifting the covers off of her legs, she got out of bed. "I'll be right back."

   The house was cool and quiet as she went downstairs, returning a few minutes later with some whiskey in a glass, handing it to him when she crawled back into the bed. Negan downed it in one gulp, setting the cup on the nightstand before shutting off the light a second time.

   He laid on his back, and she rested her head on his torso, reaching under his shirt to comb her fingers along his chest.

   "You're a good man," she murmured, feeling him take a deep breath underneath her. "You're not the same person that left the Sanctuary that day."

   "It doesn't feel like it. I'm always going to pay for the things I've done."

   "We all do," she said, tilting her head down slightly. "There's not one person alive right now that hasn't done bad stuff. We just have to learn from it and try to be better. And that's exactly what you've done."

   He didn't say anything, so she spoke again. "You have a family, now. The amazing part is that it includes people that were most affected by your actions at that point in time. Rick and Daryl are important people in your life, and they'll back you up. They'll stand behind you."

   "Hmmm."

   "What? You don't think that's true?"

   "No," he said, taking a deep breath. "It's true. I just don't understand it."

   "People are resilient. They have to be. The capacity to forgive is one of the strongest weapons we have."

   "I don't know if I would've been able to do it if it was the other way around."

   Gina didn't know either, she was sorry to say. Luckily, they didn't have to worry about that. "I would hope so," she replied.

   They were both quiet for a few minutes until she popped up with another question.

   "Can I call you hunny bunny?"

   "Not if you expect me to answer," he told her, poking her in the ass.

   "You're no fun," she grumbled, kissing him again before closing her eyes.

   "That's not what you said last night," he joked in a sleepy voice.

   She didn't dream about the two of them or paradise again, and when she woke up, he was zipping up his pants, a shirt laying on the bed next to her feet. Rolling over, she pulled the covers up above her shoulders, yawning.

   "It's still early," he said, leaning over to kiss her forehead. "Mikey won't be up for an hour or so. I checked on him."

   "Please be careful." She watched him with anxious eyes. It was her turn to be nervous.

   "I'll see you tonight."

   He left the room carrying his shirt, and she stared at the door for a long time after he left, thinking conflicted thoughts. Part of her wanted him to stay, and the other thought that maybe, just maybe, he had to face his past in order to keep moving forward in the future.

   Perhaps he needed to see the faces of the people that he hurt. Not just the Alexandrians and the Hilltoppers, but the people who were under his control in the Sanctuary, led by the fear of what would happen if they deviated from his rules. There was a chance that seeing him with his former enemies could sow the seeds of reconciliation. If not reparation, then at least co-existence.

   She'd just drifted off to sleep when Michael started fussing, and with a tired stretch, she got up to start her day. His pants were soaking wet, so Gina got him undressed, putting him in the tub where he splashed around, trying to eat the soap as she washed him up. He was clean and dressed when she took him downstairs, getting him a bottle while she fixed him and Casey some cereal.

   "Casey, come and get some breakfast," she called up the steps, sitting down at the table to feed the baby.

  Casey came stomping down the steps, muttering as she pulled out her chair, giving the bowl a dirty look.

   "What's the matter, bug?"

   "I'm still tired," she whined, placing her hands on the sides of her face, resting her elbows on the table.

   "Well, I'm sorry, sweetie, but I have to get to work," she said, dodging Michael's hands as she put the spoon into his mouth. "I have some bookkeeping that I have to get caught up on. Tina will let you take a nap."

   "We don't need stupid school anyway," she complained. "The whole world is ruined."

   Gina set the bowl down, beckoning her over onto her lap. Casey climbed up, looking at her with a serious face. "Tommy said that the dead people are everywhere and they're going to eat us all eventually."

   "Oh, Casey," she sighed, pulling her into a hug. "I'm not going to lie to you, baby, the world is messed up. But those of us that are still alive are working to make sure that the dead people aren't a danger to you."

   "But they are," she insisted, "they could eat me if they get in here."

   This day was a long time coming, and Gina had debated endlessly on what to do. Casey was growing up, and she needed to be able to defend herself. If not to do any actual damage, it would at least give her some self-confidence.

   "Would it make you feel better if I started to teach you some things?"

   Leaning back, Casey studied her face with such a serious look that it made Gina's heart ache.

   "Like what?"

   "Well, I could teach you some self-defense. You're going to be nine soon, and it might be time to let you learn to shoot."

   She twisted her lips, biting on her cheek. "I think I'm ready," she said, resting her head on Gina's shoulder. "You and dad can show me?"

   "Absolutely. When he gets back, I'll talk to him."

   "Okay."

  "Now listen to me," she said, pulling Casey back so that they were face to face. "A gun is not a toy. It's a big responsibility. Guns kill, and when you shoot it, whatever you hit, you do permanent damage. You have to be prepared for that."

   "I know mom," she replied, nodding her head. "I'm not dumb."

   "Of course you're not," she said, setting her down. "Now eat up. We've got to get moving."

   After she finished feeding the kids, Casey got dressed, and she shepherded them out the door. The sky was cloudy, threatening to rain at any moment, so they hustled down the street to Tina's, where she dropped them both off with a quick hello. Even though she'd been back on the job for a few weeks, she'd been seriously slacking when it came to the ledgers.

   Rick had kept track of them while she had her respite, and he'd done a piss poor job of it. She was still trying to decipher his chicken scratch, and nothing was tracked the way she liked it. Nothing if not anal about her office, she had all of the books stacked on her desk, writing and rewriting them thoroughly.

   Talia was beginning to venture out more and had accepted Ronnie's offer to take Evelyn for brief periods of time. When she wasn't helping to train the shooters, she'd come to Gina's office, assisting her on the supplies lists. It gave them more time together, and Talia had expressed her growing desire to shuttle some of the people living with her into new housing.

   "Don't get me wrong," she'd explained, her feet up on the edge of Gina's desk. "I'm happy to bunk up as long as you need me to, but five adults and three kids in one house is a bit overwhelming."

   So on top of everything else, Gina made it a point to review the housing on the main peninsula. Most of the adjustments were going to be easy, and she planned to talk to Ezekiel, Carol, and Jesus about setting up in one of the smaller houses across the street.

   Bethany was still staying with a young couple by the marina, and she seemed content there. Everyone else was satisfied with their arrangements, and things appeared to be working out. The young woman never did come to talk to her, and Gina figured it had to do with Negan. Once they'd gotten back together, Bethany must have figured that she didn't need to give her the lowdown on what was going on with the two of them.

   Unbeknownst to everyone else, Gina and Carol had discussed taking an excursion of their own to try and locate this mysterious group. The only problem was, neither of them thought that the men would want them to do it, not that it would stop them. But it could cause some friction, and she was hesitant to rock the boat when it came to Negan. They'd just gotten their relationship back on track, and Gina finally felt like she'd laid the ghosts of their past to rest.

   Though she occasionally thought about Annabeth, it didn't upset her the same way it did before. She and Negan had talked at length about what happened not long after the night they'd rekindled their physical relationship, and although it pained her to hear about the time he was with her, she made him tell her all the details. It wasn't pleasant, and it wasn't easy, but he was honest, and it helped her stop imagining the worst.

   They'd been drinking with a group of people that worked the wall at Annabeth's house, and as people left for the night, it had ended up being just the two of them.

   "I had so much to drink," he'd told Gina, unable to make eye contact with her. "We were sitting on her couch, just bullshitting. You and I weren't even talking at that point," he said, glancing up. "I know, it was my doing. I'd been freezing you out," Negan amended.

   "Go on," she'd said, feeling her heart pulse in her throat.

   "She just leaned over, kissing me." Taking a deep breath, he rushed through the rest, as if the words were physically hurting him. "She undid my pants and climbed up on top of me. We were only together for a few minutes, and I just couldn't do it. I couldn't continue. I knew it was wrong, it was a mistake. It felt wrong. The worst sort of wrong. I, uh, pushed her off of me, and got myself back together."

   Gina didn't realize that she was clutching her stomach until he pulled her hands away from her midsection, and she'd jerked back from his touch, causing him to flinch. Unable to fight the urge to vomit, she got up from the couch, rushing into the bathroom as he hovered behind her. On her knees, she retched until tears formed in her eyes, and she sat on the cold floor, crying. Negan had gotten down next to her, but she'd slapped his hands away. He refused to move, sitting helplessly as she processed everything he'd told her.

   "I need to be by myself tonight," she'd told him in a hoarse voice, her head in her hands. He'd gotten up without a word, leaving her on the floor of the bathroom, where she sat for at least an hour.

   He'd slept with Lexie, Leticia, Amber and Sherry at the Sanctuary, all while he'd slept with her. And it hadn't bothered her at the time. Because she wasn't in love with him in the beginning. But this was different, and it nearly destroyed her when she first found out, and even though she'd asked him to tell her everything, it didn't stop it from feeling like a betrayal all over again.

   Would he have been able to forgive her if the situation was reversed? If she had to sit there and tell him that some man had climbed on top of her, entering her, even though she knew it was wrong?

   Her legs were numb when she finally dragged herself off of the floor, climbing the steps to her room. Negan's door was closed, and she sat down on the bed, feeling defeated once more. After she'd changed her clothes she got into bed, staring up at the ceiling for hours until she couldn't take it anymore.

   Opening his door, she climbed into his bed, and he put his arms around her as she cried again.

   "Goddamn you," she'd whimpered, taking a shuddering breath.

   "I know."

   It was barely above a whisper, and his arms shook as he folded her into his chest.

   The next morning, she was awake before he was, and he opened his bloodshot eyes to meet hers.

   "I don't ever want to talk about it again," she'd said, getting out of bed to get the kids up. Negan stayed out of her way for most of the day, but by the time evening rolled around, he came home to find her moving his things back into their room. They never said a word about it, and that night, they'd made love. It wasn't sex, it wasn't just fucking. It was slow, and it was meaningful, at least to her. Another way to exorcise the demon that possessed their relationship.

   

   "Knock, knock."

   Gina looked up from her ledgers, realizing how stiff she was. She'd been sitting there working for hours, her bottle of water untouched next to her.

   It was Clinton, and he came in, folding his long body into the chair as she took a big drink, rubbing her stiff neck at the same time.

   "What's up?"

   "We just got done with the target practice," he said, crossing his legs. "I'm thinking that we need to get some more supplies."

   "Are there any places you think we haven't hit? Daryl and I went to these, here," she told him, pulling a blue book from the bottom of her stack, and handing it to him.

   He studied it, tapping his finger in his chin. "Yeah, there's a couple places I could check out. It'll give me a chance to look for some more ammo."

   "Are we getting low?"

   "No, we're good," he assured her, closing the book. "But we could always use more."

   "Why don't you take Ezekiel with you?" she urged, taking the ledger and putting it in her drawer.

   Clinton looked apprehensive, and Gina laughed.

   "He's a great guy. Very resourceful."

   "You don't find it odd in the least that he acts like he just walked out of a Shakespearean play?"

   "Honestly, I'm used to it at this point. I find it charming," she replied, grinning from ear to ear. "It's just too bad you didn't get to see Shiva."

   "Shiva?"

   "His tiger," she told him with a wink.

   Clinton's eyes widened and his mouth dropped. "He had a tiger?"

   "Yep."

   "No shit," he said in wonder, his eyes unfocusing it as he tried to imagine it. Gina sat back as he daydreamed, and she wondered sadly if the strangers killed her, or if they had her caged up somewhere.

   "I hope she's still alive," Gina said, and Clinton snapped back to attention. "She's a fucking awesome bad guy and walker killer."

  He let out a huff of appreciation before standing up. "I'll ask his royal highness if he would be so bold as to accompany me on a perilous journey to procure more balls of paint," he joked, giving her a low bow.

   "You're the best, Clinton."

   He closed the door behind, and she rubbed her eyes, debating on whether or not to call it a day, deciding to stick it out a little while longer.

   Her reminder alarm went off, and she started packing up to head to Tina's when the door flew open, smacking against the couch with a bang. Negan came barreling in, scaring the shit out of her, and her heart nearly stopped beating. He looked so deranged that she thought something happened to the kids, and she opened her mouth to ask him if they were hurt, but he held up his hand, cutting her off.

   "You fucking knew Sherry was alive?" he roared, towering over her as she shrank back.

  _Oh, holy fuck._


	81. Chapter 81

 

  
   Gina took several steps back, but Negan advanced with her, and she ended up in the corner of the office, too afraid to speak.

   "You fucking lied to me for years," he swore, punching the wall beside her head, and she ducked underneath his arm, elbowing him in the side. He was beyond reason, and Rick came through the door with Daryl right behind him, the two of them getting between her and Negan. It was John all over again, the fear was back, the feeling of helplessness when he had her cornered in his house, pinned on her bed, and she clutched her ribs, struggling to breathe as her heart went into overdrive.

   "Have you lost your fucking mind?" Rick shouted, shoving Negan backward as Daryl positioned himself next to her protectively. But it was too much, all too much. She was impotent, trapped under John's massive strength, and her eyes glazed over.

   "Don't you remember what she just went through?" Daryl growled, and Negan's eyes sparked with understanding before he went limp.

   "Gina-"

   She spun around, grabbing her bag and taking off through the door. The overwhelming need to flee had taken over, and her adrenaline pushed her to a run, blocking out the calls behind her. The gate was ahead of her, so she headed there, taking the first truck that was unlocked.

   "Open up," she screeched, looking in the rearview mirror to see all three men closing in fast. One of the men pulled the metal door wide, and she sped out, driving faster than the truck could handle, and in groaned under the pressure to move. She didn't ease off until she was out of sight of the point, and her hands were shaking so much that the truck shifted from right to left.

   There were no coherent thoughts in her head, only the dueling images of Negan and John, both staring at her with crazy eyes, and she pulled off to the side of the road, barely able to put the truck in park.

   Sucking in a lungful of air, she pounded on the wheel with a scream of frustration. She'd never been so afraid of him in her life. His anger over her lie of omission sent him over the edge, one she'd never seen directed at her. Not that he didn't have the right to be pissed, but to come at her so roughly? Knowing what she felt when John attacked her?

   It took her several minutes to calm herself enough to drive, and it was only the worry that Rick and company would follow her that spurred her to get moving. There was no plan when she took off, just the desire to be away from Negan. The sun was still out, and she almost turned down a residential street to take refuge in a house before changing course to the highway.

   He knew about Sherry, and Gina wondered if that meant she was back at the Sanctuary with Dwight. Either he had seen her, or Dwight told him the truth, implicating her in the process. There was only one way to find out, and she fished around in her bag for her cigarettes, pulling one out and lighting it with tremulous hands.

   Belatedly, she realized that she had no weapons, and she leaned over with one hand, praying that there was at least a gun or knife in the glove box. Normally they kept a weapon in each truck for emergencies, and she felt around as she kept her eyes on the road, the cigarette between her fingers on the steering wheel. Her gun was sitting on her desk, where she'd left it as she was packing up her things. 

   Jackpot. Her hand closed around the cool metal, and she pulled it out, setting it on her lap. She was alone, a big mistake, but whatever she encountered, she'd go down swinging. It wasn't until she was halfway between the two communities that she thought about her babies. She'd just taken off without a second thought, too consumed with her own terror.

   Panic bubbled in her chest, but it was too late to go back. Asshole Negan would have to take care of them himself, and Gina prayed fervently that Michael would get a case of the explosive shits. Her fear was slowly changing to anger, and it kept her from wimping out. She had to know what happened to her friend, and how she survived the last few years.

   The sun was long gone by the time she hit the familiar road outside the Sanctuary, and she slowed down considerably, in no mood to be shot by an overeager guard. Debris littered the asphalt, giving it the appearance that no one ever ventured down this street, and as the fields expanded, the walls loomed up ahead, lit only by a few floodlights.

   Stopping the truck five hundred yards from the fence, Gina stepped out, tucking the gun into the back of her waistband, raising her arms as she walked forward. Several men walked above her, and she stayed where they could see her.

   "What do you want?" one called down.

   "I'm here to see Dwight. Call him."

   "Who the fuck are you, sweetheart?"

   "Tell him it's Gina."

   "Yeah, sure thing, lady."

   She didn't bother with a reply, keeping her hands over her head. Nice to see some things never changed. Five minutes later, the gate slowly rolled open, and she took a few steps forward, looking around warily.

   Dwight was standing just outside the main door, but that wasn't who she saw first. Taking off at a run, she was met halfway by Sherry, and they slammed into each other, both crying. Vaguely aware of the stares of the men and women that were nearby, Gina squeezed her tightly, and they nearly fell over.

   "Oh my God," Sherry sobbed into her neck, neither one letting go.

   It wasn't until Dwight cleared his throat that they pulled apart, grasping their hands together.

   "Let's go inside," he said, turning around to walk in. The two women followed behind, and Gina kept a tight hold of Sherry's hand, looking her over. She was thin, and she looked like she'd aged so much. There was an air of sadness that hung over her, despite the watery smile on her face.

   The cafeteria looked the exact same as it had when she'd left, but the most of the people inside were foreign to her. Scattered along the tables, they openly gawked as she passed by until someone called out her name as they took their first steps down the hallway.

   Twisting her head, she saw that it was Daniel, and he picked her up, swinging her around as she let go of Sherry.

   "Holy shit, what are you doing here?" he laughed, spinning her so fast that it made her dizzy.

   "I came to see my girl," she told him, hugging him back.

   "Oh man, you're a sight for sore eyes. We don't have nearly enough hot women here at the moment."

   "It's nice to see that you're still a dick," she said as he set her down.

   "Eh, it works for me. Don't leave without coming to see me," he replied, taking a step back.

   Sherry put her arm around Gina's shoulder, leading her towards the stairwell. "Let's go upstairs."

   "Sher, I haven't been up there since-"

   "It's okay," she assured her. "It's not like it was before. It's just D and me up there right now."

   Dwight opened the metal door, and she lagged behind, feeling so out of place that it made her throat itch. Taking the steps two at a time, she kept her eyes on the ground in front of her until they reached the top floor. Memories came tumbling out of her brain as they stepped out into the hallway. Her room, Negan's room, nights they spent together. All of it came back in a rush, and she wanted to run away again, away from this place. The only thing keeping her here was her friend, the desperate need to know what happened to her.

   Thankfully, the walls were bare, the rugs that used to line the floor were gone, and she followed behind them dutifully until they reached the old lounge. She studied the room carefully, noting that it was furnished differently. All of the fancy couches that they'd had were gone, replaced by more comfortable overstuffed brown ones. The chintzy pillows and decor was no more. Everything looked casual, with only a few pictures on the wall. The only thing that remained was the bar, and Sherry walked over to it, pouring them both a glass of whiskey.

   Gina sat down heavily on the far couch, curling her feet underneath her after kicking off her boots and setting down her bag, while Dwight sat across from her, avoiding her eyes. He'd gained weight, and his hair was short, no longer hanging over his scars.

   "What happened to the other girls?" she finally asked, and his head snapped up to see if she was talking to him or Sherry. Gina was still looking at him, so he spoke.

   "They're still here. Lexie works in the commissary, and Leticia helps out in the gardens."

   Sherry approached carrying the glasses, sitting down next to her as Gina took one, throwing back the liquid like it was water. After setting it down on the table next to her, she turned to face Sherry, studying her profile as she reached for a cigarette, offering her one.

   Gina took it, and Sherry lit it for her, the three of them sitting in silence until she couldn't take it anymore.

   "Where did you go?" she whispered as Sherry cocked her head, looking her over.

   "My story is a pretty long one, so before we get into it, tell me about you."

   "Sher-"

   "Gina," she broke in, her eyes tearing up. "Please. Just give me a minute."

   She bent down, rummaging around in her bag, handing Sherry a picture, one that she carried with her everywhere she went. Turning it over, Sherry let out a gasp, touching the two faces softly with her index finger.

   "Casey and Michael," she said, leaning in slightly. The two of them were smiling, on the floor of her house surrounded by toys.

   "How old?"

   "Casey's going to be nine, and Michael is eight months."

   "Nine?" Sherry confirmed, her eyebrows knitting together.

   "Obviously not biologically mine," Gina explained, sitting back. "But she's my daughter all the same."

   "Of course," she breathed, embarrassed. "He looks just like Negan."

   Gina saw Dwight stiffen out of the corner of her eye, but she ignored him, her attention remaining on the picture.

   "He does," she murmured, tucking it back into the bag when Sherry handed it to her. "He's such a sweet boy. He's just learning to crawl."

   "You're still together," Sherry noted, stating the obvious, and she tried not to sound disappointed.

   "Mmmhmm," was her only response. The two women watched each other, an unspoken understanding arising between them.

   "And you live by the ocean?" she confirmed.

   "Yes. Rick and some of the Alexandrians are with us now, along with some Hilltoppers and Kingdom people that were displaced."

   Sherry listened closely as she explained about Reedville and her place on the council. A look of pride crossed her face, and Gina reached out, hugging her again, still not really believing that she was here, that she was alive.

   "It's a good place," she said, getting up to get another drink. She took Sherry's glass, refilling them both before resuming her spot on the couch. "Hopefully, it stays that way."

   Sherry took the drink, sipping it this time before placing it carefully on the table.

   "I've been back for about six months," she said, and Gina thought that she read her mind. She'd just been wondering how long ago she got back.

   "When I left here, I had no idea where to go or what to do," Sherry recalled, her eyes locking with Dwight's. "I just knew I couldn't be here anymore. This wasn't the life I wanted, for either of us, and I'd have rather died out there alone than stay one more minute."

   Gina didn't blame her. Couldn't blame her. Sherry never wanted to be Negan's wife. It was her only means of keeping Dwight safe, not that it did any good.

   "I waited for him to leave, and I unlocked Daryl's cell. I left him the key to a motorcycle and took off. It was that day that you were in bed, and as luck would have it, there was a small swarm of walkers outside the fence. Everyone was in an uproar, and I snuck out. How they didn't see me, I'll never know, but I just ran. All I had was a few cans of food, the clothes on my back, and a hunting knife that I found in Dwight's room."

   Dwight stood up, excusing himself, and Sherry waited until he was gone before she resumed her story.

   "My first stop was my old house. I waited there for Dwight, praying that he figured out where I went, but he never showed that day, so I left him a note, apologizing for everything, knowing we'd never see each other again. I spent the next few months going from house to house, only staying a night or two, afraid that Negan was going to find me."

   Taking a drag of the cigarette, Sherry gave her a sad smile. "I missed you guys. It was lonely out there all by myself, and I was terrified, but I did it."

   "What about other people?" Gina questioned.

   "For the first year or so, I was alone. Like I said, I kept moving. I found a car that still had some gas, and I traveled the back roads. My original goal was to head north, maybe to the mountains. Dwight taught me to fish and hunt, so I assumed I could just live off the land. Find a little cabin or something. I only ran into a few people. Just some small groups."

   "And?"

   Sherry shifted herself so that they were face to face. "I'd stay with them for a few days, get some supplies, and take off again."

   "I'm so sorry," Gina said, taking her hand. "I can't imagine what it was like to be so alone for so long."

   Dwight opened the door, appearing with a tray of food which he set down on the table before taking the cushion on the other side of Sherry. He'd brought up some sliced vegetables and crackers. With one finger, he pushed it towards Gina, who took a handful of crackers.

   "It got to be a new normal, I guess," Sherry said, taking a slice of carrot, looking at it critically before taking a bite. "Until I met Cleo."

   "Cleo?"

   Sherry seemed to have trouble swallowing the carrot, and she held out her hand to Dwight, who put it to his lips, kissing it softly.

   "She's the leader of the group that's going around killing everyone."

   Gina dropped the crackers back on the plate, smacking her hands together. Her appetite was gone, and she sat up straighter, giving Sherry her full attention.

   "Let me get this straight. You were part of the group that's executing every community around us?"

   "It didn't start out that way," Sherry told her, and she looked like she was going to be ill. "That's why I had to get out. To get away."

   "Sherry, you need to tell me everything."

   The two women looked at each other, and it was Sherry who blinked first. It took her several deep breaths, but when she finally spoke, it chilled Gina to the bone.

   Cleo had come across Sherry about two years prior, scavenging at an empty Goodwill. At that point, there were only a few women in her group, all loners who'd either been abandoned, ex-communicated, or fled other large communities. All of them were damaged, either by circumstances, or by men.

   "At first, it was a relief to find a place to belong, and having female company was easy. There was no jockeying for position, no back stabbing. It was just a community working for a sole purpose. Safety," she reminisced, a small smile on her face. But her eyes were troubled.

   "We set up a permanent settlement on the outskirts of one of the bases, and there were about ten of us to start in that first six months or so. A few of us would go out and look for supplies, and the rest would keep watch, or start to grow food. It was like the anti-Sanctuary."

   "But something happened," Gina guessed, and Sherry leaned back into Dwight's chest, resting her head on his shoulder. It made Gina miss Negan for a brief second, until she recalled the horrible scene in her office.

   "The longer we were together, the more we opened up about why we were on our own. For me, you know the obvious reasons," she sighed. "For others, it was having been raped, or kept like a concubine, passed around camps. Others were beaten, treated like dogs and terrorized. Some of them were so damaged, they ended up taking their own lives, and that's what caused a shift in Cleo's philosophy."

   Gina crossed her legs, resting her head on her hands as she listened, trying to file all of this information away so that she could put it down on paper when she got home.

   "It became less about welcoming in women who needed us, and more about revenge against men. Any men. And the women who supported these men."

   "Wait, so if she's looking for revenge against men, they why is she taking guys from the communities?"

   Sherry shivered slightly, and she closed her eyes. "To keep the population going."

   Gina felt sick, sick down to her soul. "Goddamn it, Sherry, she's taken people I know. People I know are being raped."

   "That's why I had to get out. I couldn't stay there and kill innocent people. Ruin lives," she said, her voice breaking. "I didn't go to either community, Alexandria or the Hilltop. Please believe me."

   The amount of fucked up crazy and wrong that this woman was doing surpassed even Negan's reign of terror, and Gina wasn't sure how to go about attacking this situation head on.

   "The first few communities Cleo went to, it was all ones that the other women came from. She wanted to kill the men who were so far beyond help that they could never, ever be redeemed. But she got this thing, this idea in her head that any women who were there, were complicit. That they were okay with what was happening," Sherry continued, wrapping her arms around her chest. "I was always back at base, but each time she'd come back, there was just a little more bloodlust in her eyes."

   "Did you ever tell her where you came from?" Gina questioned, feeling exhausted.

   "No," Sherry denied, glancing up at Dwight. "I told her from the beginning that I'd come from further south. I said that it had been a small group, one that moved from place to place. At first, I kept the truth to myself because it hurt too much to even think about D. I just couldn't talk about what I'd left behind. And when things spiraled out of control, I was terrified that she'd find out the truth and that the women would come here, hell bent on taking out everything. Obviously, I didn't know how much everything had changed."

   Dwight gave her a solemn look, but she shrugged it off.

   "Well, how has the Sanctuary escaped this Cleo's attention for so long? There's only so many functioning big communities around."

   "So far, she's only gone for places that her disciples have come from or known about."

   Gina shook her head in disbelief. "There are people from Alexandria, the Kingdom, and the Hilltop there?"

   "Uh, Alexandria for sure," Sherry confirmed, thinking hard. "I'm not sure about the other two."

   "Who?"

   "Some woman named Desiree," she said, and Gina's heart sunk all the way down to her feet.

   "Shit, she was with Keith's group from St. Louis," she mumbled.

   "Yeah, she said they were traveling east from Missouri."

   Leaning forward, Gina put her head in her hands, pulling at her hair slightly. She felt responsible. Keith's group left Alexandria after she broke Negan out of his cell, and her actions resulted in the attack on Alexandria.

   Sherry reached out, placing a soft hand on her shoulder.

   "How much of this do Rick and Negan know?" she asked, looking up with a pained expression.

   "I didn't tell them anything," Sherry admitted, surprising her. "I was so thrown by seeing him that I took off."

   "I'm sorry, Sher."

   "I knew he was alive," she said, looking at Gina apologetically. "Dwight told me when I got back, but seeing him just freaked me out."

   "I don't blame you," Gina replied, putting her head back down. "I don't expect you or anyone here to forget what happened, or forgive him. I don't. I just know that he's changed, and Rick and Daryl do, too."

   Dwight let out a sarcastic laugh, and she got pissed, standing up.

   "I should go."

   Sherry grabbed her hand. "Don't, please. You just got here and it's dark. At least stay the night."

   "I don't want to be here with him," she snapped, eyeing Dwight. "He's no innocent, despite what he thinks."

   "You can talk directly to me," he bit back, getting to his feet.

   "Oh, I don't think I can. You're not exactly lily white, asshole. You've done your own share of atrocious shit. Don't act like you were the wounded party. I'm sure Dr. Carson would agree."

   His face reddened, and Sherry pushed both of them back a foot.

   "Stop it."

   "I did what I had to do. You should be thanking me," he told her, balling up his hand into a fist. "I did what I did so that everyone's life got better. Now, look at you. Leading your own community, living the good life, and you've brought that mad dog to heel."

   "Fuck you," she spat, backing up a few feet. "You have no goddamned idea what I've been through, or any of my people. Just keep burying your head in the sand, like you always do until something affects you directly."

   She stormed out of the lounge with her boots in her hands, heading for the steps until Sherry pulled her to a stop.

   "Gina, please," she said, her voice breaking. "Please just stay the night. I don't want anything to happen to you out there."

   Letting go of the doorknob, she turned around, letting Sherry steer her into one of the empty bedrooms. She thought back vaguely, remembering that it used to be Amber's. Light flooded the room, and she saw that there was only a plain, full-sized bed in the room, with a blue comforter. The dresser was bare, and there was a small lamp on the nightstand. All of the pictures and decorations were gone.

   "I'll be right back," Sherry murmured as she sat down on the mattress. It felt wrong to be here, like she was intruding on someone else's life, and she felt more alone than she'd ever felt in this place. She wanted the safety of her own bed, of her kids sleeping in the next room.

   "Here."

   A toothbrush and toothpaste were thrust into her hands, and she went into the bathroom, washing her face and brushing her teeth. When she came back out, Sherry was laying on the bed on her side, waiting for her. The door was closed, and Gina laid down, facing the same brown eyes that comforted her all those years ago. They comforted each other, bonding in a way that none of the other wives did.

   Throughout the night, the two of them talked, each pouring out their hearts. Gina told her about the year after Negan's capture, and the way that they came back together. She confessed all about their breakup, and the attack by John. The whole time, Sherry never spoke, never judged her. She just listened.

   Gina did the same for her, taking in her friend's tales of life with Cleo, and the loneliness and feelings of being trapped in another situation with no way out.

   "It took me months to figure out a way to escape," Sherry confessed, wiping her eyes. "I trained night and day to fight, so that she'd take me to one of the communities."

   "Why?" Gina asked, brushing Sherry's hair away from her face.

   "Because I knew that was the only way I could get away permanently. If she thought I was still alive, she'd find me. She doesn't like it when people don't 'appreciate' what she does. Anyone that tried to leave would be executed."

   They were eye to eye, and Gina let her talk, feeling sorrier for her friend than she ever had before.

   "We went to a small group, one that was in a little residential area. Cleo had been watching them for weeks. They had a wall around just a street or two, something homemade. When the attack started, I separated myself from Cleo and hid in one of the houses. She only stays long enough to take out most of the people, and then would retreat with some of the men. But they always come back to look it over, make sure no one survived, or at least stuck around."

   "So you just took off?"

   Sherry smiled, shaking her head. "Hell, no. That would get her on the hunt for me. Once they were gone, I waited until just after dawn, and I found the dead woman who resembled me enough to fool her. I hope, anyway. I put my uniform on her before she turned, and then took off. I'd seen her when we were casing the place."

   Gina was impressed, despite how morbid it was. She wasn't sure she would've ever thought of that.

   "Trust me, I felt bad about the people that died, but in that moment, all I thought about was myself. Is that horrible?"

   "Nope," Gina said. "Not from my point of view. Those people were going to die, no matter what, thanks to that psycho bitch."

   "After that, I just got as far away from that place as I could. I went back to living day to day for a few weeks, before deciding to check in and see if this place was still standing. I knew something was different when I saw that all of the walkers were gone from around the fence."

   It was the middle of the night when they finally fell asleep, and Gina woke the next morning to find that Sherry was still next to her. Shaking her gently, the two sat up, both still tired, but Gina had a purpose now.

   "Sher, can you write everything that you possibly can about this group for me? All the useful information that you have. Even where they're living?"

   "Gina, I don't want you doing anything stupid," she warned as Gina smiled.

   "When have you ever known me to do something stupid?"

   Sherry's eyebrow rose as she stared her down.

   "Just do me a favor, if Rick or anyone else from my group comes around, don't tell them anything. I think I have a plan At least the beginning of one."


	82. Chapter 82

  
   Sherry handed her the papers, and Gina stuffed them into her bag, sliding them down so that they were hidden at the bottom. Once she got home, she wanted to go over them thoroughly, eager to learn everything she could about this group.

   "Hey, Sher, does this community have a name?"

   Flexing her sore fingers, Sherry gave her a funny look before answering.

   "Cleo calls the group Hell on Wheels."

   "Why? It sounds stupid," Gina said, her face taking on a look of disdain. Not that Reedville was a groundbreaking moniker.

   "She was in the military, and it was the name of one of Patton's divisions during the war."

  Sherry shrugged her shoulders. "I think she thinks she's a war hero, cleansing the earth of the enemy or something."

   "Good to know," Gina murmured, her head shaking on its own.

   They were in the lounge, and Gina stuffed her feet into her boots, lacing them up tightly. She was ready to head home, and Sherry stood in front of her, watching her quietly as she stood up.

   "You have an open invitation to come see me anytime," she said, hugging Sherry tightly. "I don't want to go another three years without seeing you."

   "Please be careful," she told her, keeping her arms around Gina. "Whatever you're planning, think it through. Then think again. Cleo's tough, smart and crazy. It's a dangerous combination."

   "I promise."

   They broke apart, and Sherry walked to the window, crossing her arms as she looked out at the yard. She'd always hated goodbyes, and Gina knew she wasn't going to get one.

   "Love you," she muttered, heading towards the door.

  "Love you back," Sherry answered, placing her forehead against the window.

  As she opened the door to the stairwell, it was yanked from her hand by Dwight, who was coming up. The two stood there awkwardly until Gina edged around him, starting down the steps. Unsurprisingly, Dwight followed after her, and they were almost to the bottom when Gina spoke.

   "What did you tell him?"

   Her feet hit the ground floor, and she rotated to face him as she leaned against the concrete blocks.

   "The truth," Dwight muttered, giving her a remorseful look, or at least a reasonable facsimile of one. "It was obvious once he saw her that he knew I lied."

   "So you had to sell me out, too?"

   "I didn't mean to," he replied, and her face settled into a mask. "He asked me if you knew, and I only said that I told you so that you wouldn't have to mourn her."

   "I wish you would've lied," she admitted, letting out a deep breath. "I never told him the truth, and now he's psycho mad at me."

   Dwight approached her slowly, leaning next to her, she scooted over slightly to give him some room.

   "I'm sorry. I really am."

   "You know, I have a lot to hate you for," she said ruefully, turning her head slightly, "but this isn't one of them. I should've been honest with him once we all moved on."

   "He loves you, Gina. He'll get over it."

   "What makes you think so?"

   "I spent all my time with him, remember?" he replied, smiling a little. "He's never cared about anyone like he does you. You know, one time Simon made a comment about your ass, and Negan slammed him up against the wall so hard that I thought his head was going to split in two."

   Gina gave him a doubtfully amused look. "No, sir. When?"

   "Just after Sherry left. It was a good day," he told her, giving her a real smile. "Come on. I'll get you some food and water."

   They exited the stairwell, and she walked alongside him as they entered the cafeteria. It was crowded with people who were eating, chatting animatedly. Less of them stared at her this time, and Dwight went over to the kitchen, returning with some water and a baggie with a few rolls in it. She stuffed them in her bag before Daniel approached, giving her a big smile.

   "I heard you're a big deal now," he joked, giving her another hug.

   "I always was," she reminded him, punching him lightly in the stomach.

   They conversed briefly before she said her goodbyes, heading for the door where Dwight was waiting for her. Now that it was daylight, she was able to get a good look at the Sanctuary. The factory was the same dull gray, but the outside had a life to it. A good portion of the asphalt had been torn up, and there were gardens scattered around, giving it more of a serene feeling.

   The residents no longer had the worn down looks that she was used to, and there were families grouped together. Some were just relaxing, and others were tending to the food that was growing.

   "It looks good," she told Dwight, and he shrugged his shoulders.

  "We're holding our own."

   "Well, if you're ever looking to trade, we'd be glad to work with you."

   He seemed surprised, and he nodded his head without a word.

   "Does that mean you've forgiven me?"

   Gina studied him before looking up, seeing that Sherry was still standing in the window, and she raised her arm, waving.

   "Are you going to stand up when it counts?" she asked, keeping her eyes upward.

   "Yes," he said after a long moment.

   She gave him a quick hug. "Then we're good," was all she said, turning and walking out of the gates to her truck. The gate closed up as she started the engine, and she turned the vehicle around, backing up before setting off towards home.

   There was a lot to process, and her hand strayed towards the papers in the bottom of her bag, but she took out the food instead, eating it quickly as she drove. Gina tried to organize her thoughts, and talking to Negan was on the top of her list.

   He'd scared her, his anger so great at her that he'd lost control, something he'd never done to that extreme with her ever before. The feeling of betrayal must have sent him over the edge, and she knew that if he'd thought about what she'd been through, he would have never come at her like that. But it didn't change the fact that it threw her for a huge loop, and it could've set her back significantly.

   Carol was the next priority. She wanted the older woman's input on Cleo's group, and she would be a huge help. Rick and Negan were going to want to go in guns blazing, but she had a sick feeling that it would be a mistake. If this woman had military training, she was probably prepared for such an attack. They needed to do this right, and Carol would be able to help her work through her plan.

   She passed just a few walkers on the way back, and Gina swerved around them, not bothering to waste any bullets. It was so stupid for her to just take off, and she knew that she was lucky that nothing happened to her outside of their walls. The truck chugged along, and a few hours later, Gina passed the point, sticking her arm out to wave to the shooters that were perched on the roof.

   The gate was open as she approached, and Rick was standing by the vehicles, his hands on his hips. Steeling herself, she got out, and he pulled her into a rough hug.

   "Don't ever do that again," he scolded her, sounding like her father. "We had no idea what the hell happened to you."

   "Sorry," she muttered, and he released her, taking her face in his hands. He was relieved, and also angry. "Where is he?"

   "Sleeping off a bender," he said. "He was beside himself. The kids are at Tina's."

   "I'll get with you later," she said with a quick smile, heading off towards her house. Rick made his way to the ladder, climbing up to talk to the guards as she walked slowly forwards, feeling like she could sleep for a year.

   The door was unlocked, and she took off her boots before carrying her bag with her up the steps. When she got to her room, she peered in cautiously, and Negan was deeply asleep with the shades drawn. He was laying in the bed, fully dressed, his feet hanging off of the edge. Tiptoeing to the bathroom, she shut the door noiselessly, stripping off her clothes after setting the bag under the sink.

   The water was hot, and she stepped under the spray, trying to clear her mind as she cleaned herself up, and when she was done, Gina quickly brushed her teeth before opening the door. Negan was still passed out, and she rummaged around in her drawers for a shirt and a pair of pants, pulling them on quickly before brushing out her hair.

   Debating on whether or not to wake him up, she finally just crawled into the bed, laying on the edge as she watched him. His head was off the pillow, just below her shoulder, and she reached out, running her hand through his hair. He didn't stir, so she continued to do it, feeling both irritated and guilty. It was shitty of her to take off, but it was just as crappy that he'd pushed her to do it.

   "Negan," she murmured, kissing the top of his head. Nothing.

   "I'm back," she tried again, running her thumb along his cheek.

   He mumbled something, rolling onto his back, and she could smell the alcohol wafting off of him. Giving up for the moment, she scooted down slightly, resting her head on the pillow. Her own eyes shut gradually, and she fell asleep, and it wasn't until she felt fingers lightly rubbing her cheek that she woke up.

   Negan was sitting over her, watching her as she stretched, her arms aching. He looked horrible, and his eyes were bloodshot as he gazed down on her.

   "Hey," she mumbled, bringing herself into a sitting position. He didn't answer her, only twisting his body until they were facing each other. Crossing her legs, she took a deep breath, unsure if she was supposed to speak, or if he wanted to talk first.

   "I'm so sorry," he finally said, grimacing as she tilted her head slightly. "I never meant to terrify you like that."

   "You were angry," she noted, and his shoulders slumped. "You had every right to be angry."

   "I shouldn't have come at you like that," he told her, and she shook her head.

   "No, you shouldn't have. I get that you're pissed. I do. But scream at me. Call me a bitch. A fucking asshole. Anything. I deserve it in a way. But I don't ever want to be as afraid of you as I was in that moment."

   "How could you have lied to me for so long? After everything that we've been through?" he asked, swallowing as if he was trying to keep his anger down to a manageable level.

   "I don't know," she admitted, resting her chin on her knuckles. "I didn't think about it for so long. Once I left the Sanctuary, I just pushed it out of my mind. I thought maybe she'd died."

   "But you knew," he said, his voice getting sharper. "You knew when I questioned you, and you lied then."

   "She was my friend," Gina told him, feeling frustrated. "You and I weren't exactly in love at that point, and you told me straight out that you would hunt her down. Did you really think I'd just give her up to you?"

   "I executed Carson for something that she did," he reminded her, and she dropped her eyes, looking at her hands. "He died because Dwight set him up."

   "It was your choice to do that," she replied quietly. "No one forced that on you."

   He let out a sarcastic laugh, and she kept her eyes down.

   "I've never intentionally hurt you in all our time together," she said, and he swung his legs around her, getting off the bed. "I should've told you after it was all said and done, and I'm truly sorry. But I'm not sorry that she's alive, and that she's safe. Sherry was my lifeline in that place for so long. She's the only one who truly understood me, and she's one of the people that kept me going."

   "And I'm not?"

   "You weren't, not at that point. You were leading the Sanctuary, and still sleeping with two other women."

   "So I'm going to have to live that down for the rest of my life, too?" he snapped, taking his shirt off and throwing it in the hamper. "I can't change the past, and I can't undo that shit."

   "No, Negan, you don't. I'm just telling you my thoughts at that time. I didn't lie to you and tell you Sherry was dead. I didn't plant the note in Carson's room. So, I'm not going to let you blame me for that. But I'm sorry I wasn't honest with you later on. I really am. I hope you can forgive me in time."

   Unfolding her legs, she turned onto her side to face the window, and she could hear him walk into the bathroom. He didn't slam the door, but he didn't exactly let it drift closed either. Her stomach was burning, and she was wholly unfamiliar with this feeling. He'd never been this angry with her before. He'd never sounded so disappointed in her, and she didn't like it. This time, she was the one who had to wait it out.

   The shower turned on again, and she ran her hands along his pillow absently, thinking about Sherry. About everything that had happened to her once she left the Sanctuary. It was her choice to leave and had Gina and Negan continued on the path to couplehood, she wondered if he would have eventually given Sherry up, freeing her to go back to Dwight.

   Once again, she decided that looking back was pointless. There were a thousand different ways things could've gone down, and she'd never know for sure. Each choice that was made got them all to where they were, and she needed to focus on the future. Cleo's group was still out there, and they needed to come up with a plan.

   Sitting up abruptly, she snuck into the bathroom, opening up the cabinet to retrieve her bag. She grabbed a rubber band off of her dresser before going downstairs and putting on her boots. Out the door minutes later, she went to Talia's, knocking on the door.

   Daryl opened it a few seconds later, and he hugged her, asking her if she was okay. Nodding once, she went into the dining room where Carol was sitting with Ezekiel.

   "Can I see you for a minute?" she asked, and Carol stood up, following her back out the door. Gina gestured towards her office, and the two women walked to the marina, avoiding the people who were working on the docks.

   Locking the door behind them, she sat down at her desk, reaching her hand down into the bag and retrieving the papers, setting them on the desk and sliding them towards Carol. With a curious glance, she picked them up, and Gina watched her eyes move back and forth as she read Sherry's words.

   Carol's face went from curious, to surprise to anger, and when she set the last page down, her cheeks were slightly pink.

   "I know," Gina mumbled, stuffing them back in the bag so that no one else would see them.

   "Who else knows about this?"

   "Only Sherry and Dwight. They didn't tell Negan and Rick, and I told them not to."

   Understanding crossed over her face, and Gina raised her eyebrows. "I think we need to take a road trip. If you're up to it."

   "You've already got a plan," she guessed.

   "I understand if you'd rather stay here."

   "I've lived that life," Carol said, giving her a twitchy smile. "I could do this in my sleep."

   "They're not going to be happy," Gina said, leaning forward as she fiddled with the strap of her bag. "They'll want to just attack."

   "I told you before that we'll need to step up, and I meant it," Carol replied, getting to her feet. "I'll start pilfering some supplies and getting us some weapons. When do you want to leave?"

   "In a few days."

   "Good," she said, heading for the door. "Are you sure? Can you leave your kids behind?"

   Gina got up, approaching her after she shut the bag away in her drawer. "I'm doing this for those kids. I'm not going to lose them or anyone else here."

   They walked back down the hall, passing Devin along the way, who gave them both a smile.

   "Once we're ready to leave, we'll tell them," Gina said, giving Carol a glance to see if she was in agreement.

   "Okay."

   Squeezing her arm, Gina took off ahead of her, jogging to Tina's house. She was outside with the kids, and Casey was chasing Rebecca around, both girls squealing as they ran. Michael was in a walker, pushing himself forward on the road, and when he saw her, he started to squeak.

   "My sweet boy," she called out, catching Tina's attention. Michael reached up for her, bouncing up and down on his chubby legs, and she smothered him in kisses, nuzzling his neck.

   Casey came running over, wrapping her arms around her waist as she bent over, kissing her as well. "Hello, my favorite daughter," she said, walking towards Tina with both of them clinging to her.

   "Hey," she said, giving Tina a smile. She smiled back, but it was brief. She knew that Gina had been upset when she took off, but it wasn't the time or place to bring it up.

   "I'm glad you're back," she told her sincerely. "I hope everything is okay."

   "Yeah, it's good," she said pleasantly. "I found out a friend of mine was back at our old settlement, so I had to see her."

   "Oh that's great," she trilled, glancing towards Gina's house. She was sure Tina knew that Negan was off kilter the day before, but she didn't mention anything.

   "I'll pop by tomorrow, and we can catch up," she promised, leading the kids home.

   Casey was talking a mile a minute, barely taking a breath.

   "Carl brought me back a mole crab, mom. It's so creepy and cute, and I have it in my room. Isn't that the coolest?"

   "That was so sweet of him, baby. You should make him a thank you card. What did you name him?"

   Casey smiled, her eyes nearly disappearing into her cheeks. "I named him Negan, after daddy."

   "Oh, I'm sure dad loved that," Gina said, grinning like a lunatic. "Daddy sure is creepy and cute, too."

   "I know, right?" she giggled, skipping ahead of her to the steps of their house. Once they got inside, she dragged Gina up the steps to her room, where an aquarium tank sat on her dresser. Someone had set it up, and there was sand on the bottom and a lamp overhead.

   "Negan, come on out, you little thing," Casey called out in a singsong voice.

   "What?"

   Negan's head popped into the room, and Gina couldn't help it. She busted out laughing, which caused Casey to get the giggles. The look on his face was priceless, and he stood there confused until Gina could catch her breath.

   "She's talking about your namesake," she said between laughing breaths. "She wants little Negan to come out of the sand."

   He bit his cheek to keep from smiling, and finally wandered over to look at the aquarium. The little crab was trying to burrow into the sand that filled the bottom, using its legs and arms to cover itself.

   "Aww, Negan," Casey whined, "don't go to sleep. I just got home."

   "Come on, baby," Gina told her. "Let little Negan get some rest while we get some dinner. Then you can come up and play with him.

   "Oh, all right," she grumbled, setting her bag down and following Gina back downstairs. She passed big Negan with a goofy grin and he shook his head.

   They had a quick dinner of eggs and steamed vegetables, sitting down together to eat. The meal was actually pleasant, and Negan cleaned up the dishes while she got the kids bathed and dressed for bed. Michael took another bottle, and she fed him in his room, rocking him in the dark until he fell asleep, She put him in his crib before saying good night to Casey, who didn't ask her where she went.

   The kids were settled, so she wandered into her own room, slipping into something comfortable, one of Negan's shirts. She sat on the bed with her lotion, rubbing it over her legs before lifting her shirt and massaging her stomach, making it as smooth as a baby's bottom.

   A hand appeared in front of her face, and she handed him the bottle. Negan squeezed a fair amount onto his hands, beckoning her to lift her shirt, so she did. He got on the bed behind her, rubbing the scented lotion on her back, massaging her shoulders before sliding his hands down to her waist, inching her panties off.

   Gina rolled over onto her stomach, and he pulled them all of the way down, his hands running along her ass, squeezing her cheeks as he continued to smooth her skin, and she put her head on her hands, looking at him out of the corner of her eye. He didn't talk, he just continued to run his hands all over her back, his fingers brushing the outer edges of her breasts before leaning over, kissing the back of her neck.

   It sent shivers up her spine, and her breathing sped up.

   "Is big Negan still mad at me?" she asked, her eyes closing in pleasure.

   "Big Negan is going to be punishing you tonight," he said in a low growl, flipping her onto her back as he pulled her pants off. He bent over, nuzzling her stomach with his stubble, causing her to twitch, trying to push him off. But he wouldn't be deterred, pinning her arms to the bed as he teased her, running his beard upwards, between her breasts as she shuddered.

   Achingly slowly, he kissed her neck, licking her earlobe as she took rapid breaths, fighting to get her hands free. She wasn't panicked or itching to get loose because she felt trapped, it was more sensual than she'd expected, and she was desperate to have him inside her.

  Finally, after more teasing, he entered her, and she took a firm grip on the back of his neck, sucking on his bottom lip as he pounded into her, hoisting her thigh so that he could get as deep as possible.

  "You're going to continue to make this up to me," he warned her, kissing her roughly, his hand reaching between the two of them.

   "Okay," she gasped, her eyes rolling towards the ceiling, more turned on by him taking control like he used to, the thoughts of Cleo and Sherry dissipating in her brain. The punishment was just too good.


	83. Chapter 83

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The adventure begins!

   The food was still in the oven, being kept warm as Gina started on her second glass of wine. Both of the kids were already in bed, and she was waiting for Negan to get home. He'd gone out with Clinton on a scavenging trip two days ago, and they were due back any time.

   Unbeknownst to him, Gina and Carol were leaving the next day, and she'd fought to remain in control of her emotions for the last several hours. Their bags were packed, guns already hidden away, and maps in the truck. Negan being gone gave her ample time to prepare, and she and Carol had spent hours upon hours honing their stories so that they'd be ready for any questions that Cleo would ask.

   The trick was going to be getting out of the community without Rick, Ezekiel and Negan trying to stop them, not that they could. She and Carol had agreed to sit them down in the morning, giving them all the information that they knew, except for the location of Cleo's group.

   She'd spent the entire day with her kids, catering to their every whim, and wishing that she could tell them that she'd be back soon. But she wouldn't. It would more than likely be weeks before she'd see them again, if she even survived, and it tore at her heart and soul. Michael was only eight months, and she'd be missing a crucial part of his life.

   Casey was old enough to resent her, and Gina had written her a letter, leaving it on her dresser after she went to bed. In it was a declaration of love, and a basic explanation of why she had to leave, and what she was hoping to accomplish. It was insufficient, but all that she could offer. Hopefully, it was just enough to make the girl understand that she wasn't abandoning her.

   The door opened, and Gina got up, going into the kitchen to retrieve his dinner. By the time she returned, he was standing in the dining room, looking exhausted. With a smile, she set down his plate, taking the seat next to his for once.

   "You playing housewife while I was gone?" he asked, smiling as he leaned down to kiss her. He smelled like sweat and heat, and she pulled his head back for a longer interaction, letting out a sound of satisfaction.

   "Something like that," she replied, patting the chair.

   "Did you eat with the kids?"

   "Yes," she lied, giving him a nod. In truth, she'd barely eaten over the last week. Just enough to keep her going, and it showed in her frame as he appraised her. She needed to look like she'd been on the road a while, struggling. If she looked healthy and well fed, it would easily be suspicious. "Eat up."

   He sat down with a tired groan, shoveling the food into his mouth as she continued to sip on her wine, bringing her leg up to her chest, resting her heel on the edge of the chair. Unconsciously, Negan placed his hand on her knee as he ate, squeezing it gently.

   "Michael started crawling," she mentioned between sips, feeling bad when he looked at her wistfully.

   "I feel like I'm missing everything," he complained, stabbing at the chicken with his fork, and her heart thumped in response. It wouldn't be him missing everything soon. It would be her.

   "You're not," she assured him, reaching out and running her hands along the back of his neck. "He only just started yesterday. Wait until you see him, though. He smiles like a goof when he gets going, almost as if we've been holding him back or something. It's like he's been wanting to do this since he was born."

   "He's my son," Negan huffed with a grin. "He's gonna have moves like his old man."

   "Lord help the ladies," she muttered as his hand slid down onto her thigh.

   "You fucking know it, beautiful."

   Gina put her leg down, kissing him on the cheek. "I'll see you upstairs."

   Barefoot, she walked up the steps, stopping in each room to kiss the kids, wiping away tears as she went into her room, putting on a shirt and tossing her dirty clothes into the hamper. Checking her reflection in the mirror, she made sure that her eyes looked okay before crawling onto the bed, laying on her stomach facing the bathroom.

   Negan came in, shirt in hand, tossing it on top of her clothes in the hamper before undressing completely. He was in a playful mood, and he stood there nude, waving his dick at her as she laughed.

   "Get your shower, you fucking weirdo," she said, pushing him away as he thrust it in her face. He sauntered towards the bathroom, shaking his ass as she watched, nearly coming undone. It took her several deep breaths to keep from crying again, and it was only the thought of losing him permanently that kept her resolve. Cleo could find them at any time. She'd kill him, or take him prisoner, using him as a breeding machine.

   She was still lying prone when he came out, his face clean shaven and covered in water droplets, the towel low on his waist as he glanced down at his abdominal muscles before looking back at her. Gina crawled forward, leaning on the edge of the bed as she tucked her fingers into the material, pulling it away from his body.

   His muscles rippled as she ran her nails across them, bending her head to kiss his stomach while she gripped his hips, pulling him closer. He smelled like soap, and she nibbled on his skin, eliciting a deep rumble from his chest. She could feel the vibrations on her lips, and Gina lowered her face, sliding her hands down, her fingers tracing his thigh muscles.

   Wrapping him tightly in her hand, she looked up to see his eyes closed in pleasure, and she rubbed his length along her lips before opening her warm mouth to him, taking him in fully, bracing him so that he wouldn't choke her. His musky scent filled her nostrils, and she let out a moan, tightening her hold on him as her head moved back and forth, bringing him in and out, letting him pump his hips slowly as she accommodated his length.

   Bringing him pleasure only made her more turned on, and she increased her pace, feeling his fingers digging into her scalp as he pulled at her hair, trying to slow her down. But they only had so much time together, and she was on a roll, massaging him as her tongue and lips did the work until he let out a groan, seizing into her mouth, the warmth going down her throat as she continued to move, releasing him only when she was sure he was spent.

   Sucking in a lungful of air, she sat back on her heels as he swayed slightly on his feet, reaching for his hand and guiding him onto the bed, where he fell onto his side, causing the mattress to bounce.

   "I should go away more often," he murmured, tracing the design on her shirt, his fingers running over the letters that crisscrossed her chest. Sated for the moment, he let her kiss his neck, and she continued to explore every inch of him, committing it to her memory. The scar on his chest, a small one on his knee, and his smell. None of it escaped her lips, and she burrowed herself into his arms, nibbling on the soft skin below his ear as he tightened his arms around her.

   "You still have your shirt on," Negan noted, lifting the hem, and she pulled it off so that they were skin to skin, avoiding his eyes, afraid that if he looked at her, he'd see the truth.

   "Any other requests?"

   "Give me a minute, lover. I'll come up with something," he told her, lifting her leg so that it was resting on his hip. Moving his hand to her face, he ran his thumb across her bottom lip, licking his own. "Claudia Cardinale," he mumbled, the corners of his mouth turning up as his eyes lit up with relief.

   "Excuse me?"

   "I've always thought you looked like someone, and it's bothered me for years. I literally just this second figured it out. You have the exact same mouth as her."

   Gina leaned back so that she could see his face, completely lost.

   "She was an actress," he explained with a grin. "She was gorgeous. Great tits. You look a lot like her."

   "Where do you come up with this?" she asked, shaking her head.

   "You don't even want to know," he chuckled, tilting her head back up. "She was in this movie with Brigitte Bardot, and they had a cat fight. I may or may not have jacked the beanstalk to it."

   "Oh my god," she muttered, turning him on his back as she straddled him, sitting up. "Just when I think I've learned every possible disturbing thing about you, you throw that thought right out of the window."

   "I'm a mystery, baby," he chortled, reaching up to caress her breasts, sucking on his bottom lip, his dark lashes fluttering. "In a way, I've been stroking it to you since I was a kid."

   "Yeah, not the same," Gina replied, leaning over. "Sei un malato," she whispered in his ear, blowing lightly as she felt him twitch against her thigh.

   "Say it again," he moaned, "whatever the hell it meant."

   Repeating it, she grinned as she slid down further. "It means you're sick."

   She reached behind her, working him again, and when he was fully hard, she sat back up, lowering herself down onto him with a sigh. Not caring if she came, Gina pumped rapidly, focusing only on him, bringing him enjoyment all over again as he wrapped both hands around her waist, lifting her up and down as his eyes never left hers. They were a deep brown at the moment, almost black and she made another memory, storing it away for the lonely future.

   The rest of the night was spent on his chest, listening to his heart beat, matching the timing of her own, and when the sun came up, she snuck out of the room, carrying her clothes with her. She'd left a note on her pillow, telling him to meet her at the office once he'd dropped the kids off. She couldn't face them, knowing it would weaken her resolve. 

   Carol was waiting outside her door when she got there, and she was also wearing old clothes, filled with stains and rips. Their supplies were safely locked in her office, and she opened the door, letting the older woman walk in first.

   "Are you sure you want to do this?" Carol asked, sitting down across from her, her shoulders stiff.

   "I'm positive," Gina affirmed, her heart pounding in her chest as each minute ticked off of the clock, sending them closer to their mission. "I've never been more sure about anything. You?"

   "I've been prepared for this since they destroyed my home."

   They sat in silence until they heard footsteps down the hall, and both of them stood up, perching on the edge of her desk. Rick came walking in, followed by Negan and Ezekiel, and each one was looking at them warily, knowing something was going on.

   Ezekiel closed the door, and the three stood at attention as Gina leaned back, opening the top drawer of her desk, pulling out three envelopes, handing each man one. They opened them, scanning them quickly, and Negan was the first one to finish, looking at her angrily.

   "No. Absolutely fucking no."

   "We're going," Carol said, making eye contact with him. "We're leaving this morning."

   "Carol, please," Ezekiel began, but she held up her hand. "This is the only way."

   The only one who hadn't said anything was Rick, and he was glancing at both women in shock, crumbling the notes in his fist.

   "I can't allow this," he finally said, and Negan and Ezekiel came to stand next to him, effectively blocking the door.

   "You're not allowing anything," Gina replied calmly, staying seated on her desk. "It has to be us. We have to gain access to her community and find out everything."

   "If you think I'm going to let you put yourself in danger, you've lost your fucking mind," Negan boomed out, shaking the paper towards her.

   "I'm in more danger here," she shouted back, causing Carol to jump slightly.

   "Darling, please tell us where this camp is, and we will take care of everything," Ezekiel pleaded, causing Carol to snort with anger.

   "Did you fools even read what was written? Men are the reason this bitch is doing what she's doing. Sick, fucking asshole men, who've brutalized females, long before and long after the world died and went to hell. I was one of them," she reminded everyone, "and so was she."

   All three looked back and forth between the two of them, speechless for the time being.

   "We know where she's set up. We're going to head that way, and get ourselves situated just outside her base. With any luck, she'll find us quickly, and we'll get access to her community. We can find out exactly what we're dealing with, and make sure every one of our friends that were taken is still alive, and get some real goddamn intel," Carol said.

   "You got this from Sherry, didn't you?" Negan barked, his voice as sharp as a razor wire, and she nodded, unapologetic.

   "This is wrong. It's wrong," Rick interjected, taking a step forward so that he was standing between the two of them. "We should just attack."

   "Not until we come back," Gina told him. "Not until we figure out a way to get our friends free."

   "But you may not come back," Negan exploded, pacing in a tight circle. "You could die there."

   "I could die here. So could you, and everyone here. Including our kids," Gina argued, her hands gripping the wood of her desk. "She might already know about this place. What if Annabeth is there?"

   Negan's eyes closed, and she shook her head. "I sent her away, and she could've ended up there, telling this Cleo everything about our community. I'm responsible if anything happens to you, or them," she continued. "It's all my fault."

   "It's not," Rick tried to console her, but she stopped him.

   "We need to go. I want to be outside her walls by sunset."

   Carol got down from the desk, hugging Rick tightly before taking Ezekiel by the hand, exiting the room with a nod to Negan.

   Gina finally got to her feet, her legs shaking slightly, and she pulled Rick into a hug, embracing him. "Take care of him," she whispered, and he nodded, releasing her. His eyes were glassy, and he left, touching Negan lightly on the shoulder as he walked out, leaving the two of them alone.

   He refused to look at her, letting the papers drift onto the floor, and she approached him, flinging her arms around his neck. He didn't hug her back until she forced his face to hers, kissing him in a frenzy, soaking up the last bit of love that she could.

   Negan reached down, swinging her legs up, and she wrapped them around his waist, letting him set her back on the desk, and she didn't resist when he gripped her face tightly, searching her eyes.

   "Please don't do this," he begged, trying once more to change her mind.

   "I'm doing this for us, for our family," she answered, leaning her head against his chest, hearing his breath hitch in his throat. "You can yell and scream at me when I get back. You and Casey. You'd do the same and you know it."

   Lifting her head, she pulled his face down so that they were eye to eye. "This isn't goodbye, love. I'll see you soon."

   It was the exact same thing he'd written her when he left the Sanctuary for the last time, and she knew he remembered. She would do anything humanly possible to make sure it was true again.

   They kissed for several minutes until she finally pushed him away, getting back to her feet. The bags were light, and she threw both of them over her shoulder, opening the door. Keeping her head down, she walked out into the fresh air, a steady pace carrying her towards the gates.

   Carol, Rick, and Ezekiel were already there, and Carol took the bags from her, tossing them into the back of the truck. Their first stop was going to be just outside of town, where an old car was waiting for them, gas cans already filled and secured in the trunk.

   Rick kissed them both on the forehead, clearing his throat, and Ezekiel brought Gina's hand to his lips, bowing lightly before saying his goodbyes to Carol. Negan opened the driver's side door, helping her in before pecking her softly on the lips.

   "I love you, Gina."

   The words were halting, and she smiled, fighting back tears.

   "I love you, honey."

   He stepped back with an exhale, and she shut the door firmly, starting the engine. The three men took several steps back as they reversed, and she watching them in the rear view as they passed through the gates.

   All of them looked catatonic, and they stood in the same spot until the gate rolled closed. Carol opened the glove compartment, pulling out a pack of cigarettes, handing her one as she lit the one between her lips.

   "To victory," she mumbled, exhaling a cloud of smoke out the window.

   "To luck," Gina added, lighting her own.

   Once they were outside the safe area, Gina turned down a side street, pulling into a small brown bungalow that had a two-car garage, and Carol jumped out of the truck, opening it. Pulling in next to their new vehicle, Gina turned off the ignition, leaving the keys under the mat.

   Carol got into the driver's seat this time, and Gina was just getting herself settled when Carol punched her in the face.


	84. Chapter 84

   Gina's head rocked to the side as Carol's fist collided with her cheek, sending dark spots across her vision, stunning her. A second blow landed on the corner of her mouth, causing her lip to swell immediately. Instinct alone brought her arm up, blocking another shot, and she turned angrily.

   "What the fuck?" she screamed, pushing her hand away roughly.

   "We need to look abused," Carol told her calmly, shaking her fist, which was probably stinging.

   "So you attack me unprovoked?"

   "I didn't want you to flinch," she said matter of factly. "If you knew it was coming, you might've tried to block it."

   "Bitch."

   Carol shrugged, turning to face Gina, who spit out blood onto the floor of the car. 

   "Hit me," she urged, squaring her shoulders. 

   "Gladly," Gina muttered, rearing back and socking her in the nose. Carol's head flew back, smacking against the window, and Gina fired again, getting her along the jaw. 

   They were both breathing heavily, clutching their faces, when the two of them started to laugh. It was a hysterical sound of disbelief, and Gina wondered what Negan would think if he'd seen the display the both of them just put on. 

   "Jesus Christ," she stuttered, rubbing her cheek. "Two women who've been beaten up before, slugging each other so that some other bitch will have pity on them."

   Carol wiped her eyes, and she gave Gina a genuine smile. "We're sick, I know."

   Gina held out her arm, leaning over. Carol knew what she wanted, and she clasped her hands around her upper arm, squeezing hard enough to leave bruises as Gina's eyes closed through the pain. Her arm throbbed when Carol released her, and she slumped back against the seat. 

   "Do you think it's enough?" she asked as Carol started the car, pulling the gear shift into reverse. 

   "Yeah, I think we're good."

   Once Gina pulled the garage door down, she got back in the old car, unfolding the map so that she could direct Carol towards the base that Sherry detailed in her notes. It would take them most of the day to get there, and that was if everything went smoothly. 

   Cleo had set her people up just outside the Marine Corps headquarters, and Gina had only been there once, with her father. She was vaguely familiar with the area, and there were dozens of military housing units in the area. Sherry told her that Cleo had taken over the one just to the south of the headquarters. Almost all of them were gated communities, with large brick walls surrounding them. It was the perfect place to live, already protected from walkers.

   The roads were clear as they got further away from Reedville, and Carol and Gina went over the details of their past. They'd decided on telling Cleo that they were from North Carolina, fleeing a group from the Raleigh/Durham area. Carol had passed through the area when they made their way to Washington, and she filled Gina in on a small neighborhood they'd squatted in for a few days, describing the houses in minute detail, along with the surrounding areas.

   As they drove, they quizzed each other, asking questions they thought the bitch leader would want to know, down to the names of everyone in their supposed group. The one detail they weren't going to lie about was what happened to each of them. Carol was going to use her husband Ed as the source of her abuse, and Gina was offering up John as the straw that broke her back, so to speak. 

   It took them hours to get to around five miles from Cleo's group, and they searched around carefully for a place to stay, the sun starting to set. They wanted to be somewhere safe, but also where they could easily be located if Cleo's group did regular sweeps of the area. 

   A country club was south of the base, and they picked a cul de sac that at along the golf course, and it had a small stream running along the back of the yards. There were a handful of walkers in the neighborhood, so she and Carol parked along the street, clearing the road before setting off to explore the brick townhouses. 

   After a minor debate, they settled on the second one in from the main road, and it took them several minutes to get the garage opened. The door into the house was locked, but Gina knocked out the window with the butt of her gun, sending glass flying into the hallway. They waited a few minutes, but there was no sign of life, and she reached inside, flipping the lock and pushing the door open. 

   Carol handed her one of the bags, and she unzipped it, pulling out a flashlight. The hall had no windows, and it was dark inside, so she swung the light around, holding her gun steadily as she moved inside. Turning the corner, she found herself in a small kitchen, and Gina opened the curtains, allowing a weak amount of light into the space. It was modern, and there was an attached dining area. 

   Everything was covered in dust, little motes swirling around the beams of the flashlight as she continued on. There was only a small living room on the bottom floor, and she let Carol climb the steps ahead of her to the second level, which housed a large family room and a bathroom along with a bedroom. The third floor housed three bedrooms along with two bathrooms, one in the master suite. 

   Carol threw her bag along the side of the bed, opening up the light blocking drapes, and Gina headed back down to the main floor, bringing in the rest of their supplies, including several jugs of water. When she got back to the bedroom, Carol was standing at the window, looking out with her arms crossed. 

   Searching through the bathroom closet, she found a few towels that weren't too dusty, soaking the edge of one in a small amount of water, handing it to the older woman. Carol wiped the dried blood off of her nose without a word, and Gina got to work on her lip, which was still mightily swollen. 

   It was done. They were here, hours from home and seemingly minutes from Cleo. Now they had to wait.

 

**Talia**

 

   Talia rolled over, placing her head on Daryl's chest as Evelyn fussed at their bedside. She'd been cranky all night, and Talia had dragged her old bassinet into their room, unwilling to spend the night walking back and forth to her nursery. It made no sense to keep everyone else awake, and she and Daryl took turns trying to soothe her.   
Pinching his side lightly, Talia pressed her head firmly on his chest, and Daryl began to stir. 

   "It's your turn," she mumbled, pushing him as he sat up. She'd taken the last shift, walking Evelyn around the first floor as she whimpered, unsoothed by anything. Talia thought that she had colic, and her nerves were fraying a little more every day. Dr. Thomas was going to see them today, but she needed at least an hour of uninterrupted sleep if she had any hope of functioning. 

   With a grumble, Daryl sat up, rubbing the back of his head, sending his hair into spikes as she moved into his spot, which was still warm, burying her face in his pillow.   
"Come on, sweetheart," he mumbled, hoisting Evelyn onto his shoulder, walking silently to the door. "Yer mom is going to be a witch if she doesn't get some rest."

   Talia grinned into the pillow as the door closed. Yes, she would.

   She was out in minutes, waking with a start a few hours later, completely out of sync. Pulling the clock close to her face, she saw that it was after eight, and she crawled out of the bed, splashing her face with icy water in the bathroom before wrapping a robe around her body. 

   Trudging down the steps, she saw that Daryl was laying on the couch with Evelyn resting against his bent legs, talking to her in a soothing voice. He was swinging her arms up and down as she cooed, and Talia felt the desire for him sweeping through her stomach as she watching the muscles move in his arms. 

   They hadn't had sex in weeks, overwhelmed with exhaustion and Daryl's frequent trips out of the compound, and it was something that they'd need to rectify soon. Their relationship was on solid ground, but in the dizzying first few months of parenthood, it had taken a backseat to Eveyln's needs. 

   "Good morning," she murmured, leaning over the couch to kiss him. 

   "Mornin'," he growled, nibbling on her lip as she breathed him in deeply. He smelled good, like baby powder and fresh air. 

   "Hello, my angel," she trilled, reaching out to take her daughter, snuggling her in her arms. She also smelled like baby powder, and Talia ran her nose along the top of her head, her eyes closing in bliss. It was amazing what a few hours of sleep could do for a person's sanity. 

   "Where is everyone?" Talia asked, walking around to sit on the couch. Daryl went to get up, but she waved him back, settling herself between his legs, leaning back against his chest, putting the baby in the same position that he'd just had her in. 

   "Carol was gone when I got up, and Rick and Ezekiel just went to Gina's office for a meetin'," he said, running his hands along her arms, sending her nerves into overdrive. 

   "Hmmm, about what?" she asked, not really listening. His fingers skimming along her bare skin was distracting her, and she removed a hand from Evelyn's side to clamp it on his thigh. She could feel the muscle tense underneath her fingers, and Talia tilted her head back with a grin. His eyes were nearly closed, and he let out a grumble. 

   "I don't know," he growled, getting hard against the small of her back, and she stretched her head to kiss his neck. 

   "We need some adult time tonight, baby," she murmured as he dug his fingers into her hips, pulling her back slightly. 

   "A-fuckin'-men," he said, his voice rough. "But ya gotta get off me now or we're gonna have a mess."

   With a sigh, she sat up, kissing the baby's cheeks as he jumped off the couch, adjusting himself as she grinned. 

   The door opened, and Rick, Ezekiel, and Negan came in, each looking as defeated as she'd ever seen them, and she immediately became worried. Cuddling the baby she followed them into the dining room, where each sat down heavily, heads in hands. 

   "What's going on?"

   Rick looked up briefly, locking eyes with her before shaking his head and putting it back down. 

   "Negan?"

   His head came up slowly, and he looked depressed and angry at the same time. "Your goddamned sister is gone."

   "What the hell do you mean she's gone? Gone where?"

   Ezekiel handed her an envelope, and she passed the baby to Daryl, sitting down at the table to read it. The further she got into it, the more her stomach started to ache. "She didn't," Talia whispered, staring at Negan. "Tell me she didn't."

   "She and my darling Carol left this morning to find this group," Ezekiel told her, his voice low and melancholy. 

   "And none of you stopped them?" she asked, her voice rising in anger and disbelief. 

   "How are we going to stop them?" Rick asked, a little snippier than usual. "They have a plan and they're going to see it through."

   "So, you let those two go out into god knows what, with some psycho woman that wants to kill everyone, and you thought it was okay?"

   Negan slammed his hands down on the table, his frustration building. "None of us wanted them to go. Are you fucking kidding me? We tried to tell them no. Do you think they listened?"

   "They could die out there," Talia sneered, giving each of them a withering glare. 

   "Don't you think we know that?" Rick shot back, his face getting red. 

   "Well, what the fuck are you going to do?"

   Negan stood up, his face still red. "We're having a town meeting. We're going to let everyone know what's going on, and we're going to keep preparing for a war."

   "No, we have to go after them," Talia insisted until Rick stood up, holding his hand in front of her face. 

   "We're staying here and preparing for what comes next. That's our decision."

   Talia laughed bitterly as she studied the three. "So we're just leaving my sister, _your_ wife," she said, shooting Negan a look, "and your woman out by themselves to face this psycho," giving Ezekiel a pointed gaze. 

   "Yes," Negan said, passing her without another word as he left the house, his shoulders slumped. 

   "Maybe you will, but I'm not," Talia said, taking Evelyn upstairs as she tried to figure out how to find her sister.


	85. Chapter 85

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your comments and continued hits! I may not have responded to the latest, but believe me, they mean the world to me. I'm trying to get the story advanced, and this is a bit of a transition chapter. That being said, we're rapidly making our way to the new community!

   Daryl followed her into their bedroom, taking Evelyn as she opened one of her drawers, pulling out a pair of jeans and a shirt.

   "You're not goin' anywhere," he warned her, earning himself a dirty look.

   "Like hell, I'm not," she swore, fastening the button on her jeans with anger, nearly ripping her shirt as she shoved her arms through.

   "Will you stop for one second and think about this?" he asked, placing his hand on her arm, grunting when she shook it off.

   "Think about what? My sister just went traipsing off to God knows where, planning to offer herself up to this lunatic bitch," Talia said, glaring at him as Evelyn started to whine.

   "Exactly," he prompted, rubbing the baby's head. "Do ya think she went there without a plan? Do ya think Carol would? If you try ta go after her, causin' a big scene, it'll start somethin' that we may not be able to finish right now."

   "Daryl," she began, but he cut her off, taking her by the back of the neck and pressing her against his chest, Evelyn sniffling as she looked up at the two of them.

   "Your sister didn't just step off the turnip truck," he reminded her in the most soothing voice he had. "Give her a chance to get there and get some info. She ain't gonna put herself or her family in danger, not after all she's done to put it back together."

   Talia hated when he was more level headed than she was. It irritated her greatly that he was making sense, and she let her head drop, her shoulders bowing over as she reached out, rubbing the baby's back.

   "Well, what am I supposed to do now?"

   "We're gonna go to the meeting, and Rick will figure out something," he said, kissing the top of her head. "I know this sucks, but Gina and Carol are tough. If anyone can get in there and get the layout of this place, it'll be them. Have faith for once."

   Her head rose slowly, and she looked into his eyes. He was calm, and he gave off an air of assuredness that she wasn't sure she could ever feel. She knew that he cared strongly for both women, and if he could be optimistic, then there must be something to this plan.

   Grumbling under her breath, she took the baby, carrying her into her room to get her dressed while Daryl jumped in the shower. Evelyn was due to be fed, so she got her cleaned up before taking her down to get her some milk. Judith was already at Tina's house with Gina's kids, and Carl was still out on the latest voyage.

   As the baby sucked on her bottle, Talia's thoughts drifted to the letter she read, and she grabbed it off of the table where it was still laying. Scanning it again, she felt uneasy as she read the information, especially about what was being done with the men that were taken. For someone that was so irate about women being mistreated, this Cleo seemed to have no problem doing the same thing to others, with no knowledge of who these men were, or even what kind of people they were.

   They had Eugene. Gabriel, Aaron, and so many more were all there, being treated like animals. Like it was some kind of stud farm if they were even still alive. Maybe she tortured them or killed them if they didn't fulfill their sordid duties.

   Deep in the dark, black recesses of her mind, she was thankful that she and Daryl weren't at Alexandria when the attack happened. Besides the thought of losing him to a bullet, some psycho taking him and holding him hostage again would've damn near killed her.

   That line of thought led her to think about Negan, and she wondered how he was holding up. It must've destroyed him to watch Gina leave, after everything they'd been through. The Sanctuary, his internment at Alexandria, and their breakup due to his own stupidity. The two of them had lived a lifetime's worth of drama in the last few years, and as Daryl descended the steps with his boots in his hand, she was struck by how grateful she was.

   Gina was strong-willed, and Talia was, too, but in an entirely different way. Their passions burned at different levels, and though she and Daryl might not have the fiery, explosive type of relationship that Gina and Negan did, their love was every bit as great. Maybe greater, she mused, because they were so connected. They operated on a wavelength that was the complete opposite of her sister's and Negan's.

   "What?" Daryl asked, breaking her stare.

   "Nothing," she told him, getting to her feet as she burped Evelyn. "I was just thinking about how different you and I are from Gina and Negan."

   "Well, we're obviously the better-looking couple," he deadpanned, and she shook her head with a smile, patting Evelyn's back.

   "Do you still hate him?" she asked, startling him as she watched him closely.

   He was quiet for a moment, and she almost regretted asking him but he pursed his lips, and she thought that he looked almost rueful.

   "In a way, I've made my peace with what happened. I'll never forget what he did, but he's sincerely apologized for what went down," he said, sitting down to put on his boots. "And I don't know, but maybe we wouldn't have Evelyn if all this didn't go the way it went. I'll miss Glenn and Abraham for the rest of my life, but, I think he's genuinely sorry for what he'd done. I don't know if we'd still be here, or if we'd have the life that we do if he didn't come into it. He's still an asshole, though," he said with a small smile.

   Talia was sincerely touched by his words, and she bent down to kiss him. "You're a good man."

   Once he stood back up, he took her hand, and the three of them left the house, stopping at Tina's to drop Evelyn off. Tina seemed distracted, and Talia was relieved that Ronnie was there to help. Rebecca and Casey were playing, and she kissed the little girl on the top of the head before handing Evelyn off to Ronnie, anxious to get this meeting over with.

   They were one of the last ones to arrive, and Rick waved them towards the front row, where two chairs had been left open for them. Ezekiel was standing on the stage, conversing quietly with Clinton, who didn't look happy, and Negan was standing next to Rick with his arms crossed. His face was stony, and he nodded slightly as Rick muttered something.

   The crowd settled down, and Rick stepped up, looking businesslike as he started to speak.

   "I know these meetings are happening with an unfortunate regularity, but this time, it's with a good, solid update. We now know who this group is that we're dealing with," he said loudly, and several people in the room let out a murmur.

   "It's a group of women who are behind these attacks. Their leader's name is Cleo, and they've hit several communities, not just the ones we're in regular dealings with."

   One of the men stood up, raising his hand.

   "How did you get this information?" he asked.

   "There's a woman from the Sanctuary that escaped the group," Negan said, uncrossing his arms. "She's given us all the intel that she has."

   "So what's the next step?" the same man questioned. Talia thought his name was Joseph.

   "Gina and Carol have left the community to see if they can gain access to this new group," Rick said, placing his hand on Negan's shoulder. A ripple of excitement flowed through the crowd, and Talia suppressed a shiver of dread.

   "How?" someone else shouted out.

   Rick stared him down, and the room got silent.

   "This particular group was formed because they were mistreated, either by other men from prior communities or by strangers. They've all come together under this Cleo, who's made it her mission to take out any men that she can. She's also targeting women in these groups, because she feels that if they're there, then they condone the brutality that her women have suffered."

  "Gina and Carol are going to see if they can ingratiate themselves with this woman, and verify if the men that were taken from the communities that she's attacked are still alive. Once they get as much info as they can, they're going to come back, and we can plan our attack," Negan told the men and women in attendance.

   "Until we hear from them," Rick interjected, "we're going to build up our arsenal, and continue training anyone that has any proficiency with a gun. I'm going to head to the Sanctuary in a few days to see if they can give us any more useful information. I just wanted to make you all aware that we're getting closer to ending this nightmare."

   A few more people shouted out questions, but Rick only provided the barest of information. As the meeting broke up, Talia got out of her seat, approaching him straight away.

   "I'm sorry," she told him before he could speak, and Rick visibly relaxed.

   "I know you're worried about them. I am, too," he said, rubbing her arm. "But we're going to get through this."

   "How's he doing?" she asked, inclining her head towards Negan, who had partnered up with Daryl. They were in the corner, heavy into a conversation that she would've given anything to have heard.

   "He's beside himself," Rick muttered, exhaling sharply. "He feels responsible for her leaving."

   Talia let out a chuckle, causing him to give her a strange look.

   "After all this time, he still hasn't figured out that Gina does what she wants, everyone else be damned."

   Smiling, Rick shook his head.

   "She reminds me a lot of Michonne," he retorted, his eyes clouding over slightly. "Both headstrong."

   Sadness settled in the air as she stood with him, letting him reminisce. He had as much right to vengeance as anyone. This group destroyed their home, and took away his future with the woman he loved. For no real good reason. No one at Alexandria ever laid a hand on a woman since Pete died that she was aware of.

   Rick roused himself, putting his game face on as Negan and Daryl came over, and the four stood in a loose group, meanwhile Ezekiel was making his way over to Jesus, who just got back from a trip to Arcadia. He was still unaware of what had transpired while he was gone, and she watched his face fall as Ezekiel spoke to him.

   Negan stood the furthest apart, and he looked like he'd just lost Gina all over again. Overwhelmed with pity, she pulled him into a hug, ignoring the gazes of some of the people in Reedville who were still loitering around, hoping to hear some details that Rick had flat out refused to discuss.

   "I'm sorry I bitched you out," she muttered, and he held her loosely.

   "I always get bitched out," he said softly. "Usually by your sister."

   Releasing him, she held his hand, squeezing it as she spoke.

   "My sister is going to come back. I know it."

   "You weren't that sure an hour ago," he reminded her, his eyes still a dull brown.

   "Look at everything she's been through," she reminded him. "If anyone can ninja their way into that den of snakes, it'll be Gina and Carol. This cunt has no idea what's coming for her. You just need to make sure you take care of your babies. If she comes back and there's so much as a scratch on them, you know she'll have your head."

   That elicited a small smile, and she dropped his hand just in time for Daryl to punch him in the shoulder. "Just think of the makeup sex you'll get ta have when she gets back."

   Negan's face went flush, completely thrown off by the comment coming from Daryl, and it caused Daryl to chuckle before he pulled Talia towards the door.

**Gina**

   

   The first night was peaceful, actually, and she and Carol took turns keeping watch from the master bedroom. It was a corner room, and there were windows along two walls which provided a pretty good view of the front of the townhouse and the main street since they were just off the road.

   There was no movement that night, from humans or walkers, just the occasional breeze, rippling through the still bare branches of the trees that dotted the yards.

   On Gina's shift, she leaned against the window, worrying about what she left behind, and terrified of what she was walking into. Negan, Casey, and Michael were all at home, presumably safe and sound, and Annabeth was possibly with this new group, feeding them information. Not to mention Desiree could still be there, and she might recognize Gina, even though it had been years since they'd seen each other.

   She'd expressed her concerns to Carol in the car, but Carol said to leave it up to her, that she'd handle it. Gina didn't bother to question how. If anyone could come up with a plan, it would be Carol.

   The next morning, she and Carol went to the stream, filling up buckets that were in the garage with water, and they cleaned themselves up as best they could. Neither bothered to change clothes and before exploring the neighborhood, they went through the house, hiding their extra guns and ammo in strategic spots, just in case they ran into someone worse than Cleo.

   The master bathroom held their rations, hidden in the tank of the toilet after they cleaned it out, and two small pistols were at the back of the walk-in closet, their last resort if need be.

   Choking down a few homemade granola bars, they set off down the street, making their way from house to house. A few of them had already been broken into, and there was nothing of value to them inside. They fared better in the unexplored homes, finding two more guns and some spare clothes that were in their size. Added to their loot were a few bags of rice, a bottle of honey, several Tupperware containers of dried red beans, and one unopened bottle of soy sauce.

   That evening, they ate some of the rice and beans, flavoring them with the soy sauce, and Gina forced it down, disgusted with herself at how spoiled she'd become. There was never a struggle to feed themselves at home, and she'd forgotten what it was like to have to suck down anything that she had to just to keep herself going. She hadn't had to fight for food since she and Talia were living like scavengers, and it almost pissed her off that she was so soft now.

   "I'm never taking home for granted again," she muttered, swallowing another spoonful as Carol smirked at her.

   "No one saves us but ourselves," she said, tipping her spoon towards Gina.

   "Who said that?" Gina asked, chewing on a gummy bean, trying to unstick it from her tooth.

   "Not sure," Carol admitted, gargling with some water. "It's true, though."

   Letting out a sigh, Gina stood up, opening the curtains in the living room to let some of the remaining light in.

   "I hope they come around soon," she murmured, watching for something. Anything.

   "We should go out a little further tomorrow," Carol said from behind her. "See if we can't draw some attention to ourselves."

   Gina nodded, taking the last bite of her shitty dinner, carrying the bowl back into the kitchen and setting it down in the sink. It had been over twenty-four hours since they'd left, and she was missing her kids with an ache that seemed like it would never dissipate. As much as she knew she was right in coming, it didn't change the fact that she'd left a part of her behind. Not to mention not telling her sister what she was doing. She couldn't imagine how that went over when Talia found out.

   "Do you want to take the first watch?" she called out, and Carol answered in the affirmative.

   Trudging upstairs with a deep breath, she laid down on the large bed, tucking her arm under the pillow as she stared at the wall. There was a picture of the family that lived there, and they were posing happily for the camera, sitting on a picnic blanket. Mother, father, son, and daughter were smiling, barefoot and all in red, white and blue, and Gina wondered if any of them had survived. Pondered if they sold their souls for a little more time on Earth and changed their entire outlooks in the new reality.

   She fell into an uneasy slumber, and when Gina woke up, it was fully dark. Carol was sitting by the window, her finger tracing the outline of her gun and she watched the outside.

   "Anything?" Gina asked, covering her mouth as she yawned.

   "Nope," Carol told her, rising to her feet. "It's as silent as the grave out there. Not even a walker."

   "Fuck, they keep this area under control," she observed, taking Carol's place in the chair.

   "Not necessarily a bad thing," Carol reminded her, curling up on the bed facing away from her. "Wake me if you see anything."

   Gina did end up seeing something, and it sent her heart racing, but she didn't wake Carol up. Just before dawn, a rumbling truck engine sounded in the distance, and a few minutes later, it came down the main street, its lights illuminating the asphalt as it sped towards its intended destination. It was a sign of life, and they needed to make sure the next person that crossed their paths knew they were there.

   The following evening, Gina got her wish.


	86. Chapter 86

   Snip, snip, snip. 

   The scissors grazed the back of her neck, and Gina tried not to fidget as wisps of hair drifted down lazily, tickling her shoulder as Carol continued assaulting her head.

   "Don't move," she said for the third time, letting out an exasperated breath.

   "I can't help it," Gina bleated, shaking her shoulders softly. "It's itching my skin. Are you almost done?"

   Carol ran her fingers through her hair, grasping the ends with the tips of her fingers to measure them against each other. "A couple more cuts and you're good."

   Her head felt weirdly light, and she flicked a pile of hair off of her thigh where it had settled a few minutes earlier. Boredom had driven her to beg Carol for a haircut, and she didn't fight it when Carol suggested a swingy bob. "It would look good with your face shape," she'd told her, examining her with a critical eye. 

   "All right," Carol sighed, setting the scissors down on the counter. 

   Gina stood up, carrying the flashlight into the bathroom, shining it on her head as she studied her reflection. It had been years since she'd had a cut, not since she'd done it herself when she was staying at the farmhouse after Negan was captured. It felt odd, and looked even odder since she was so used to having it long. 

   Flipping her head over, she combed her fingers through the damp locks, fluffing them up before righting herself. Not bad for an apocalypse. 

   "Thank you," she said when she came back, brushing off her shoulders and chest as Carol washed her hands with the bucket of water that was sitting by the sink. 

   Nodding her head, she dried her hands before picking up the scissors and attaching them to her belt. A gun was sitting on her hip, and Carol leaned against the counter as Gina put her shoes and jacket on. 

  It was late afternoon, and they'd spent most of the day outside, keeping an eye out for Cleo's group. The older woman was irritated when Gina had told her about the truck, but after a brief debate, she let it go. The truck was going entirely too fast for them to have caught up with it, nor would they have seen them if they'd turned on a flashlight. Hopefully, the strangers would come around again.

   Leaving the door open, the two went back outside, heading for the main road. They'd decided to make a little mess to see if it would draw anyone's attention, and Gina was carrying a hammer in addition to her gun. On the opposite side of the street was a set of apartments, all with big picture windows along the circular driveway. 

   Picking their way through the tall grass, they approached the first one, and Gina swung at it, the hammer bouncing back and almost clocking her in the face. Swearing loudly, she aimed again, and this time it broke through the glass, causing hundreds of splintering cracks. With two more swings, a huge chunk of the window collapsed, and she backed up swiftly as it came down, half in and half out of the frame. 

   The window was low to the ground, so she threw her jacket over the bottom of the wood frame, hoisting herself in with a grunt. Stupidly, she didn't wait to see if there were any walkers, but the apartment was empty. She picked her way through the shards, opening the door and making a left towards the front entrance. Carol was waiting at the door, and the duo retreated to the abandoned rooms, searching for anything that they could take. 

   Other than a questionable few boxes of cereal, there was nothing worthwhile, so they went through the other units, finding very little to take. Swinging the hammer with a flick of her wrists, Gina led them back outside, where it was quickly getting dark, a pillowcase filled with the few valuables they'd been able to take. 

   The sky was purple, with little wisps of clouds slowly moving across the sky. There was a little bite to the air, and they walked along the front of the building. Gina smacked at each window they passed, feeling a sick sense of satisfaction when each would break. Sometimes, she just needed to make a little mess that she wouldn't have to clean up. 

   They were just past the building, walking along the edge of the road when they heard it. The sound of a truck, approaching from the south. Panic gripped her stomach as she felt icy fear trickle down her spine like water. Clutching Carol's hand, they poised themselves along the curb, waiting until the truck was in sight. 

   Taking off at a run, she and Carol bolted diagonally across the side street, booking it to their townhouse in a flash. There was only the sound of their boots slapping on the concrete, the breath escaping from their lungs, and the rumble of the truck as it got closer. 

   Pushing Carol through the door, Gina closed it behind her, locking it as Carol started up the steps. Her palms were sweaty as she took off her belt, jogging up to the third floor and stuffing it under the mattress. Carol was bent down, shoving their bags under the bed as Gina edged to the window to see if they'd been spotted. 

   The reverberation of the truck was getting closer, and Gina closed the window, drawing the shades to just a crack, the curtains moving slightly in her shaking hand. With one eye, she kept watch, hissing when the truck came into sight, slowing down as it turned onto the street and halting just along the edge of the first driveway.

   "They stopped," she whispered, afraid to even breathe loudly. The truck idled along the curb, and the windows and windshield were tinted, blocking the view of the occupants. Gina could feel the heat of Carol's body as she pressed up behind her, peeking over her shoulder. 

   "We have to get into position," Carol murmured, pulling her arm back. "I don't want to fuck this up."

   Gina remained immovable, staring at the vehicle with bated breath. She had to know for sure. "What if it's not them? We could get trapped by the wrong people."

   "We still have our guns," she reminded Gina, forcefully yanking her towards their hiding spot after she let go of the curtains. 

   Retreating into the bathroom, Carol shoved her head first into the closet, and she fell to her knees, scrambling back towards the wall. Turning herself around, she pulled the suitcase that was sitting next to her along the side of the wall, hiding the crawl space that contained the rest of their guns.

   "I left the edge of one of the bags sticking out," Carol whispered in a stunted breath, collapsing next to her in the corner. Both of them were breathing heavily, from both excitement and dread. 

   The house was silent except for the rapid exhales of carbon dioxide they were expelling, and despite the chill outside, the closet was warm, both of their bodies in overdrive. Gina brought her knees up to her chest, her gun held loosely in her dominant hand. Hangers of clothes brushed their shoulders, hiding their faces from view as they waited. 

   It wasn't until about twenty minutes later that they heard the sound of the door being hit with something heavy. Three loud thumps pierced the air as Gina shrank back slightly. It was coming from almost below where they were sitting, and she reached out into the pitch black, clutching Carol's hand. Hers was as slick as Gina's, and she could feel her arm shaking slightly. 

   Rhythmic clumping signaled the approach of the strangers, and Gina closed her eyes, taking shallow breaths as the sounds got closer. Abject terror took over her system when the door to the master bedroom creaked open, and she very nearly pulled the trigger of the gun by accident. Easing her finger off, she prayed over and over again, the same chorus. _Please be the right ones. Please be the right ones._

   Something shifted in the air, and two sets of boots entered the bathroom, creating an echo that bounced throughout the room. A single beam of light flashed under the crack of the door, and without warning, Carol called out.

   "Please! Please don't hurt us!"

   Gina was so affected that her hand twitched in Carol's, and the doorknob turned slowly, the glare of the flashlight blinding them both.

 

**Talia**

 

   "Do you need me to come over there?"

   Talia lifted her finger off of the button, waiting for Negan's response. 

   "He's pissed all over me twice," Negan replied, huffing air into the radio as Michael cried in the background. 

   "I understand that," she said patiently, making a face at Daryl as he listened. "But you need to leave the diaper off as much as possible. The rash needs to breathe."

   Evelyn was already asleep for the evening, and Rick had retreated to his room with Judith, giving them some quality time alone. Of course, once they got upstairs, Negan had come blaring over the radio in a panic when he went to get Michael stripped for his bath. 

   "The baby's ass is all red," he'd called out, causing them both to jump. 

   Daryl was laying on the bed, listening to the increasingly unhinged Negan as Talia tried to explain to him what to do.

   "You're going to have to bathe him gently, and then let him spend as much time bare-assed as possible. And you need to find the pink diaper cream and put that on every time you change his diaper. Frequently."

   "What cream?"

   Talia winked at Daryl, finding this hilarious. "The pink cream that Gina keeps in his room. It's right next to the baby powder. You'll see it. It's in a white tube and it says Pinxav along the side."

   Negan held the button down, and they could hear him fumbling around, knocking something over as Michael cried. Talia felt a stinging in her breasts at the sound, and she almost walked out the door without waiting for him to ask for help, but Daryl held out his arm, taking her by the wrist. 

   "Give him a minute," he told her, pulling her onto the bed. Talia rested the radio next to her side as he kissed her neck, trying to dissuade her from intervening. It wasn't that he was unsympathetic. He was just incredibly horny.

   While they were making out, his voice came over the speaker again, but it wasn't directed at them. 

   "I have a feeling this kinda shit never happens when your mother is here," he mumbled over Michael's wails. "Ok, son," he soothed as Talia and Daryl broke apart, "daddy's going to fix it. Let's get you a bath."

   "Poor thing," Talia whispered, pushing Daryl's hand away from her shirt. The two watched each other as Michael got quieter, and when Negan didn't reply, they resumed their make-out session. 

   Daryl pinned her arms above her head as he got on top of her, his knees spreading her legs wide. With a grunt, he resumed his spot on her neck, nibbling at her skin that was taut in her throat, her head thrown back as she let out a sigh, looking at the ceiling as he tortured her kindly. 

   "S'been too fuckin' long," he muttered as his teeth grazed her collarbone, one hand holding her wrists together, and the other unbuttoning her shirt. 

   His hips were aligned with hers, and she could feel him pressing in on her abdomen, already hard and ready for her. Cool and warm air both hit her chest as the shirt was tossed open and his breath heated the space between her breasts. Releasing her wrists, he wrenched up her bra almost to her neck, attacking her breasts with both his hands and his tongue, swirling it around one nipple as he pinched at the other with his thumb and forefinger. 

   Talia squirmed underneath him, a burning heat pooling between her thighs as she tugged at his hair, but he was undeterred, torturing her sensitive skin with his mouth and fingers, making it so she couldn't even think, and his other hand held her waist still to keep her from shifting underneath him. 

   With a strength she'd forgotten she possessed, she pushed him up, and he loomed over her on his knees, staring down at her with his laser blue eyes, looking nearly undomesticated. It made her think of a wild wolf looking to mount its mate, and she hurriedly unhooked her bra before nearly ripping the shirt off of his back. 

   The entire time, there was the low murmur of activity from Gina's house, but they paid it no mind, and Talia reached for the button of Daryl's jeans, yanking it open as she reached down, palming him in her hand. He was already sticky, and she drew her thumb across the tip, making his eyes flutter shut as he growled, sending a shiver up her neck. One of the things she loved about him was how wild he was, and it drove her crazy when she was the one to make him this way.

   Inching her arm out of the way, he unfastened the button of her pants while she continued to stroke him, pulling them down roughly before jerking her hand away so that he could take them all the way off. He yanked on them so hard that she slid a few inches down the bed, knocking the radio to the floor with her hand. 

   Grinning, Daryl stepped out of his jeans, slithering back on top of her as Talia licked her bottom lip, her eyes heavy with desire. Teasing her entrance, he inserted himself with one hard thrust, rocking her back on the bed as she whimpered with gratification, feeling whole for the first time in a long time. 

   He filled her up, moving in and out roughly, resuming his hold on her breasts while she tightened her legs around his waist, relishing the feel of his hot skin on hers. They were sweaty within minutes, and Talia dug her nails into his neck, urging him on as she licked his neck, sending him into a frenzy, and he picked up the pace even faster, ramming into her pelvis as he moved one hand underneath her, lifting her hips for even more depth. 

   Daryl came with a moan, thrusting erratically as she felt the warmth spread throughout her womb, and when he was done, he pulled out, ignoring her pleas to stay where he was. Down her torso he kissed, pecking at the skin under her ribs, circling his tongue around her belly button until he got to her thighs. His kisses turned into soft bites, and he dropped his head, rubbing and sucking her core as she thrashed on the bed, clenching her fists into the sheets, balling them up. 

   Calling out his name, she spasmed for several seconds, experiencing the strongest orgasm she'd had in months. Her muscles were twitching as he came up for breath, resting his chin on her stomach, letting his fingers trace the skin on the side of her waist. 

   "I fuckin' love when ya yell out my name," he said with a smirk, not caring when she rolled her eyes. 

   "I'm sure Rick loved it, too," she retorted, glancing towards the door. 

   His face froze before she started to laugh, and he crawled back on top of her, placing his hand over her mouth. 

   "Ya don't think he heard, do ya?"

   "Half the town probably heard," she teased him, kissing him on the lips. 

   At that moment, the doorbell rang, and Daryl's eyes widened in mortification. It took them a second to realize that it didn't come from their house, but from the radio, and Talia raised herself up onto her elbows, grabbing the walkie talkie off of the floor as she put it to her ears. 

   They could hear footsteps, presumably as Negan carried the radio downstairs, unaware that the button was stuck, and Daryl rolled off to the side, leaning over her shoulder as they stared at the black piece of plastic, waiting for it to tell them who was at his door in the dark of night. 

   The door creaked open, and a woman's voice floated through the air. 

   "I thought maybe you'd like some company."

    _Oh hell to the fucking no._

 


	87. Chapter 87

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so this is my first Negan narrative chapter. I hope you enjoy it. I felt the situation warranted it, and if you'd like to see more from his view, let me know. That said, here we go!

**Negan**

 

   He ran a motherfucking community. How the hell could he be failing at wrangling a baby and a kid?

   Holding Michael in his arms, Negan beckoned Casey over to the couch, holding the brush out as she sat down next to him. Michael was pulling at his beard, and he ran the brush through the little girl's hair, getting it stuck as she let out a yelp.

   "Dad! Stop! You're hurting me," she whined, slapping his hand away, leaving the brush hanging in the middle of her hair.

   "I'm not trying to, baby," he said, setting Michael down in his little walker, trying again. "When was the last time you combed your hair?"

   "I dunno," Casey mumbled, fidgeting as he tried to free the bristles, wondering how he went from having a hundred men cowering in fear every time he walked into the room to feeling emasculated by a nine-year-old.

   "Work with me, Casey," he pleaded, trying not to yank out her hair as she ducked her head.

   "Well, that's not how mom does it," she muttered, sending him into a minor fit.

   "Mom's not here, so let's act like a team, okay?"

   She sucked in her breath, looking up at him with teary eyes, and he felt like a dick.

   "I'm sorry, little darlin'," he soothed, pulling her onto his lap, and she leaned onto his chest. "I'm really trying. I know it's hard not having her here, but I mean it when I say let's be a team. I need your help. In case you haven't noticed, I'm not the best at this."

   Casey took the brush from his hands, running it down the back of her head, getting out most of the knots, and he finished it as she sat quietly, letting him get completely tangle free.

   "Why did she leave us?"

   Negan turned her around so that they were face to face and he weighed his words carefully, knowing that Gina left her a letter, telling her that there were bad people who were looking for them, and she needed to try to stop it.

   "She didn't leave us. Mom is very brave, and she doesn't want anything to happen to you. She went to this other community to try to stop them from hurting people."

   Under the pain, anger was simmering and she climbed down, kicking at the rug that sat in front of the television. "Someone else could've gone. She didn't have to abandon us."

   Negan got down on the floor, resting Michael in his lap as he studied her. She was getting older, and they couldn't placate her with fairy tales and half truths forever.

   "Look at me," he said, waiting until he had her full attention. "She didn't abandon us, I swear. This other group is made up of women, and the only ones who could get in are other women." She continued to look at him dubiously, and he rubbed Michael's back as he crossed his legs.

   "Your mother is a tough broad. She's not just your mom," he reminded her, his voice taking on a fond tone. "She's a leader here, and she's a good shooter. She's strong. Did I ever tell you that she knocked me to the ground before?"

   Casey's eyes widened and she edged forward, biting on her fingernail. "She did?"

   "Oh yeah," he chuckled, thinking back to when Gina took him out at the Sanctuary, just after she found out that Talia was alive. "I pissed her off, I mean, made her mad," he self-corrected, "and she swept my legs out from under me and had me pinned in about five seconds."

   The little girl giggled, getting down on her knees as Michael reached out for her, and she held out her hand, letting him gnaw on her knuckle.

   "So trust me, if she can take a big tough guy like me out, she's not going to let some woman hurt her."

   "Do you promise?" she whispered, and he held out his little finger.

   "I pinky swear."

   Casey linked hers with his, and he felt a sense of pride that he'd once again made her happy. Negan, the fuckup, the bastard, had at least three people that thought he hung the fucking moon, and that was enough.

   Herding the two of them upstairs like sheep, he got Casey dressed and ready for bed before giving Michael a bottle, spilling half of it on the counter, letting out a colorful string of expletives that could've probably stained the wall.

   Tired to his bones, he carried his boy upstairs, pulling off his clothes and diaper, only to find that his backside was flaming red. What fresh fucking hell was this? Worked up, he unclipped his radio, turning to Talia's frequency.

   "The baby's ass is all red," he barked over the line, waiting impatiently for an answer.

   After a static filled silence, Talia responded.

   "He has a diaper rash." Well, no shit, Sherlock.

   "So, what do I do?"

   The radio was silent for a moment, and he swore that if she was laughing at him, he'd kill himself in a blaze of fucking glory.

   "You need to give him a bath and be gentle. Then let him be bare-assed for as much as possible. And you need to find the pink diaper cream and put it on every time you change his diaper."

   "What cream?" he asked.

   Fumbling through the crap on the changing table, Negan pulled out a tube of pink gunk, laying it on the table as Michael cried in his arms.

   "Ok, son," he murmured, carrying him into his room as he sat the radio on Michael's dresser. "Daddy's going to fix it."

   The baby let out a hiccuping sigh, resting his head on Negan's shoulder, and he walked into the master bath, feeling a twinge in his gut when he looked at the empty bed. She was gone, and he was probably going to accidentally kill their kids.

   Filling up the bathtub with lukewarm water, he got down with a huff, setting the boy in his little bath seat, rubbing him gently as he whimpered. Of course, the baby would get a fucking rash when Negan was taking care of him alone. Gina never would've let him sit in a wet diaper, or let Casey's hair get so goddamned knotted that even a sandblaster couldn't get through it.

   He commanded the most ruthless men left on Earth. Provided food and provisions for hundreds of people. Oversaw an inventory of thousands of supplies. And now, he had a son with a red ass, crying pitifully in the tub, begging to be taken care of.

   Wrapping him in a soft towel, Negan carried him back to his room, squeezing a generous amount of the pink crap onto his finger, coating the red areas softly before diapering and dressing Michael in a sleeper, rocking him until he was out.

   Doing this one or two nights alone was one thing. But now, Gina was gone for who the fuck knows how long, and these two kids looked to him for everything. If he was still at the Sanctuary, he'd just order someone to take care of everything for him.

   As soon as he had the thought, the sting of guilt flashed through his brain. Michael and Casey weren't some inconveniences to be fobbed off on a lesser. They were his, and he could do this. "Step it up, asshole," he muttered to himself.

   Setting the baby on his back, he grabbed the radio, walking down the steps to the kitchen, pouring himself a large glass of whiskey, downing it in two gulps, ignoring the burning in his throat as he refilled the clear tumbler.

   The doorbell rang, and he carried the glass and the radio with him, setting them both on the table as he opened the door, expecting it to be Talia, coming to check on the kids to make sure they were up to Gina's expectations.

   Instead, it was Tina, who was dressed in a pair of skintight leggings and a lacy shirt that barely covered her tits, breathing nervously. Jesus Christ, did he have a sign on his back advertising fucking stud services or something?

   "I thought maybe you'd like some company," she breathed, her chest moving in and out rapidly.

   Tina was a hot little number, no doubt, and a perverse curiosity pushed him to open the door wider, letting her slip into the foyer. She glanced around furtively as he let the door drift closed, walking past her as he grabbed his drink, heading straight for the couch.

  Following him, she stood just beyond the couch as he sat down, extending his long legs out, crossing them at the ankles with his eyebrow raised. Negan was a pig, but he wasn't fucking stupid enough to fuck things up with Gina again. However, he saw a chance for some fun, and he was going to take it. It just wasn't the kind of fun that Tina had in mind.

   "Wanna drink?" he drawled, tipping his glass towards her.

   "Sure," she replied, her hand going to her hair as she smoothed it down.

   He stood back up, brushing past her shoulders as he made his way back to the kitchen, pouring her a small cup of alcohol. It was nowhere near as much as he had, and he didn't want her to lose her inhibitions any more than she clearly already had.

   When he returned to the living room, she'd already taken a seat and he could see down her shirt as he handed her the small glass, steeling himself.

   "How are you holding up?" she asked, feigning sympathy as he sat back down at the far end of the couch.

   "We're managing," he told her with a smile, locking eyes with her over the rim of his drink as he sipped it slowly.

   "I can't imagine how hard it's been for you with Gina just taking off like that," Tina observed, and Negan noticed that her hand was trembling as she brought her drink to her lips, wincing as she swallowed a tiny bit.

   His first thought was to school this little girl's ass about what Gina was actually doing, but he stopped himself, instead changing tactics.

   "I imagine I'll be a single dad for a while until she resurfaces," he admitted with a rueful chuckle, turning on the charm.

   Tina tilted her body so that they were facing each other, her free hand going up to run her fingers along the collar of her shirt, emphasizing her cleavage, and Negan watched her carefully, ignoring the obvious distraction. "Devin was heartbroken when he found out what she was doing."

   Ahh, there it was. The real reason for her visit. All was not well in Tina Land. She was pissed that Devin still had a little thing for his Gina. Negan didn't blame him. He wasn't fucking happy, but he didn't blame the little bastard. Gina was unaware of all of this, obviously, just like she didn't know that there were a few other men in town panting after her like dogs in heat.

  "Was he?"

   "Mmmhmm," she purred, inching closer to him. "It really hurt to see how much he cares about her. Does that bother you?"

   Her blue eyes were round as she looked up hopefully at him, wanting him to get jealous. And what? Was she going to teach Devin a lesson?

   "Nope," he told her with a smirk, enjoying watching her face fall. "My girl is a tough act to follow. Very few women these days could live up to her."

   Negan leaned forward, invading her personal space, and it almost made his dick hard to see her squirm as she came to the epiphany that she'd miscalculated his response.

   "I'm sure my fucking reputation is well known, but if not, let me bring you up to speed, Tina," he said coldly, setting his drink down as he kept his eyes on hers. "I don't fuck around, not anymore. And even if I did, it sure as shit wouldn't be with someone that my wife considers a friend."

   Her mouth opened and closed, emitting only a tiny squeak as she skittered away from him, getting to her feet, but he was out of his seat before she could react, and he rounded on her, backing her into the wall.

   "For both of our sakes, I'm going to pretend that this failed little attempt at getting back at Devin never happened," he informed her, boxing her in with his arms, watching her eyes fill with tears. "If I told you what really happened with that neandertal John after what he did to Gina, you'd piss your lacy little panties, sweetheart. Imagine what she'd do to you if she found out that you tried to seduce me two days after she left to put her fucking life on the line for yours."

   "I didn't," she stuttered. "I'm not."

   "Good," he said, straightening up, flashing a genial smile as his face cleared. "Then we don't have a problem. Thanks for coming to check up on me."

   Tina bolted for the door, and he closed it behind her, whistling a jaunty tune, locking it for good measure. As he made his way up the steps, he had the wild thought that maybe Gina set this up as a way to test him.

   No, that was the kind of shit he'd do, not her. She would never try to fuck him over like that. It wasn't in her. She didn't think like a snake. Like Negan.

   The kids were both sound asleep, and he stumbled to his room, kicking off his jeans and tossing them in the general direction of the hamper before lurching into the bathroom. The air in there smelled like Gina, and he began to get aroused as he stood there with his eyes closed, breathing in the smell of jasmine.

   Goddamn, he could picture her in his mind. Her soft, full lips, smiling at him. Brown eyes that looked at him like he mattered. Not because of what he could do for her, but to her. Her long legs and the way they wrapped themselves around his waist. Warm, olive skin that responded to his touch, and her voice when she called out his name.

   With a grunt, he pulled his dick out, stroking it with his hand as he imagined her underneath him, encouraging him to fuck her, that filthy, dirty mouth of hers. Swearing at him, demanding that he go harder, go faster. Even her hair, when she kissed her way down his chest, letting the silky strands caress his skin as she made her way further south.

   Groaning, he shot his load into the shower, leaning over it with one hand. Fuck. Pulling up his shorts, he'd never felt more like a perverted deviant, jacking himself off while Michael and Casey slept two doors away.

   He fell onto the bed face first, crawling up to the pillows, surrounded by her scent again, and he mumbled to himself as he drifted off.

   "Come home soon, baby."

 

**Gina**

 

   "Toss out your weapons, now."

   Gina's heart was thrumming at a rapid pace as she registered that the voice was female. They were still blinded by the flashlight, so she couldn't see who the voice belonged to, but she pitched the gun forward, losing sight of it as it bounced along the floor. Carol's gun followed, and the two of them held up their hands as a shadow reached down, plucking them off the ground.

   "Is there anyone else in the house?" the same person asked, and Carol shook her head.

   "It's just us. Please," she begged, her voice sounding teary, and Gina wasn't sure how much of it was an act. "Please don't hurt us."

   The voice spoke again, this time less irritated.

   "We're not going to hurt you unless you give us a reason to. Just come out slowly with your hands up."

   The shadows backed up, but they didn't lower the flashlight, keeping it in their faces as she and Carol crawled forward on their knees, both of them moving cautiously.

   When they were upright in the bathroom, Gina was able to make out three figures, each holding guns that were pointed directly at their heads. In unison, the trio took several steps back so that they were now in the master bedroom, and they placed themselves in a line. The curtains were still drawn, and there was no light in the room, save for the beams that were focused on her and Carol.

   "Where are you from?" as second voice asked, much higher than the first.

   "R-Ral-Raleigh," came Carol's stuttering reply. "We're from Raleigh."

   "You're a long way from Raleigh," the first voice said dryly, and Gina cleared her throat.

   "We're heading north," she explained, her hands shaking slightly as she evaluated the situation. If these people didn't shoot immediately, she was prepared to go out in a blaze of glory. They were lined up, and she guessed that if she lunged for the one in the middle, it might make enough of a scene that Carol would be able to take another one out.

   "North where?" asked the second.

   "Canada," she lied, squinting to see if she could make out any of their faces. The third one hadn't spoken. They just held their gun steady.

   "Why?"

   "We figured there'd be fewer people there," Gina said, planting her feet squarely, ready to attack if need be. "Maybe we could find a little cabin or something. Live in peace."

   The first one turned her head towards the third, and they had some sort of silent conversation. Carol continued to breathe erratically, and Gina closed her eyes, waiting for them to respond.

   "Did you have a group?" asked the first, lowering the flashlight minutely.

   "Not anymore," Carol offered, her voice scratchy. "We had to get away."

   "Don't move," the third figure spoke, retreating slightly. Gina and Carol listened, not even daring to blink. With shadowy steps, the unseen woman drifted out of the room, leaving just the four of them. They could hear footsteps as she descended the steps and the air was pulsing with tension.

   When number three returned, she was carrying two electric lanterns, and Gina got her first look at the strangers. Standing before them were three women, all wearing army green cargo pants, and black boots. They all had matching black shirts on and were wearing army jackets. The other two were each holding an automatic rifle in their right hands, and the third had hers hanging off of her shoulder as she set the lanterns down.

   Carol whimpered as they all studied each other. The woman on the far left was the shortest, and she had black hair which was pulled back in a braid. She had dark eyes that darted between the two of them with a hooked nose and thin lips. If Gina had to guess, she would say she was in her forties. She carried herself with a hardness, her shoulders stiff and unmoving.

   The second was slightly taller, and she had pale blonde hair that was cut close to her head, save for a set of bangs that swooped down over her forehead. She was skinny, with barely anything to her frame, but she had bright blue eyes, framed by thick blonde lashes. A little pug nose sat in the middle of her face, and she had pale lips which were currently set to a frown.

   The third was tall, possibly an inch or so taller than Gina. She also had dark hair, and she had cornflower blue eyes, kind of wide-set but a perfectly straight nose, dotted with freckles. She was the least tense of the three, and she looked Carol up and down before turning her attention to Gina.

   "What're your names?" she asked, jerking her head towards Gina.

   "Gina and Carol," she replied, staring at her with suspicion. She didn't want to play it too wimpy, knowing that this woman wouldn't buy it. She had a feeling that this situation was developing organically, and if they were both a tad too helpless, they wouldn't take the two women with them.

   "You?"

   The third smiled, and it was slightly disconcerting.

   "I'm Ivy," she finally said after a pregnant pause. "Leonore," pointing to the blonde, "and Maria."

   Maria took a step towards her, and Gina took one back, keeping some distance between them. Carol clutched at her hand, playing up her distress, and Maria halted.

   "We're not going to hurt you," Ivy promised, "but we need to check to make sure that you don't have any more weapons on you. For everyone's safety."

   Giving Carol a reassuring hand squeeze, she let go of her, taking two steps before turning her back and raising her hands again. Maria's hands ran from her wrists down her arms, patting her sides before running over her legs.

   "She's clean," she barked out, and Gina went back to Carol's side.

   Carol took her spot, and she winked at Gina as Maria did the same to her, nearly causing Gina to laugh.

   "You can step back," Ivy said, and just like that, Carol's face returned to barely concealed terror. When she got back to Gina's side, they linked arms, waiting for the trio's judgment. Leonore finally dropped her gun, and she beckoned them forward.

   "We have a community. You'd be safe there."

   "I'm sorry," Carol whispered, "but we don't know you. How are we supposed to trust you?"

   Thrown off, Leonore looked towards Ivy, who was obviously the higher ranking of the three. Ivy's face softened and she set her gun down.

   "You can trust us," she said, this time smiling genuinely. "We were all like you once. But now we're with a group that takes care of each other. No more black eyes," she promised, glancing at Gina. "No more busted noses."

   In a blink, Carol started to cry, the kind of ugly, shuddering cry that would break anyone's heart, and she threw her arms around Gina, who closed her eyes in relief and victory. They fell for it.  

  "Okay," Gina murmured. "If you can promise that we won't be hurt, and we can leave if we don't feel safe."

   "Deal," Ivy said, extending her hand. "Once we get there, you have my word that you'll get your guns back and go on your way if it doesn't sit right. In fact, I'll give you your knives when we get there. It's not much, but it's a sign of faith."

   Gina took her hand, shaking it firmly.

   "We'll take it. We've got nothing left but faith."


	88. Chapter 88

 

   Negan. Michael. Casey. Talia. Daryl. Evelyn. Rick. A neverending volley of faces flashed through her mind as she rode blindfolded in the back of the truck, bouncing up with every pothole that they hit. It almost felt intentional, and Gina's hands flew out to brace herself as the truck rocked from side to side.

   She and Carol were sitting in the back seat with Maria between the two of them, and they had been riding for what felt like hours but could have only been twenty minutes.

   After agreeing to go with the three women, they had pulled their bags from underneath the bed, following Ivy down the steps and out into the cool air towards the truck. Maria had insisted on putting black bandanas over their eyes, telling Ivy that it wasn't smart to let two strangers know where their base was.

   Gina had pointed out that they had no clue where they were, being from North Carolina, but Ivy had agreed, albeit reluctantly. Shrugging, Gina had leaned her head down once she was in the truck, letting Maria tie it around her head. The black material scraped against her still sore cheek as she tied it tightly, and she heard Carol let out a breathy sound as Maria fumbled with the other one.

   Once the truck started up, Gina sat back in her seat, formulating an imaginary conversation in her head with the mysterious Cleo, trying to figure out what she would ask first. Of course, she and Carol had prepared for any possible scenario, including why Gina had a c-section scar. Any guilt she was feeling about lying about her baby was pushed out of her body when Carol had scolded her.

   "This is a fucking war," she'd snapped, her eyes cold as she stared at Gina. "We say anything we have to in order to get into this bitch's good graces. Imagine what she'd do to Casey or Michael if she found Reedville."

   Her face had gone red, and she fought the urge to wring Carol's neck in the car as they drove towards Cleo's base that first day.

   "Don't talk about my fucking kids," she'd sworn, turning to face the window. "You have no idea how this feels."

   Carol had laughed derisively. "That's where you're wrong, sweetheart. If I had been this tough years ago, maybe my own daughter would still be alive."

   Her head snapped around as she looked at Carol in shock. She'd had no idea that Carol had a child.

   "I'm sorry," she murmured softly, thrown a bit when Carol just shrugged her shoulders dismissively.

   "I've made my peace with it."

   Now, as they made their way to the base, she took slow, deep breaths, picturing the people she loved in her mind, vowing to fight until her last remaining breath to make sure that they had a life after this. If only to stick it to this sick piece of shit.

   The truck turned without warning, and Gina nearly landed in Maria's lap, grunting with the smaller woman shoved her back hard. Cool air filtered through the small space as a window was lowered, and Leonore spoke out to someone.

   "Bringing back guests, Nora?" came a bored sounding voice, high and lilting.

   "Two possible new recruits," Leonore answered, and Gina could hear the sound of metal clanking shortly before the truck lurched forward. They drove on, turning several times before the truck slammed to a stop and the engine cut off.

   The blindfold was pulled off of her face, and Gina swore under her breath as her cheek throbbed. Glancing to her side, she saw Carol gingerly pressing at her nose, and Maria poked her in the arm before gesturing to the door. She didn't like this woman at all.

   It wasn't until her feet hit the ground that Gina took a second to look around. They were in a housing development, and a pretty cool one at that. Antique looking street lights were on the corners, and the houses that she could make out in the night were brick. They were all two-story houses that had cars in the driveways, and there were a couple of women walking up and down the street that they were parked on, each holding weapons.

   This community apparently had generators, because a few of the homes had a light showing through the windows, giving the area a homey appearance. Maria pushed her out of the way as she exited the truck, and Gina followed her to the bed, retrieving her bag as Carol came around, clutching her own to her chest. Gina noticed her looking around carefully, masking her studious gaze with rapid blinks and deep sighs.

   "Come on," Ivy said, curling her fingers at them as she started down the street. "We're going to put you in the medical house for tonight and get you checked out first thing in the morning."

   With long strides, she led the way, Maria and Leonore walking behind them as Carol and Gina carried their bags, holding hands. Ivy nodded to the women as they passed, and they stared at the newcomers with interest. It was hard to make out in the dim light, but Gina thought that they were on the younger side, and they were also wearing the standard outfit of the community.

   The medical house ended up being the last one on the right side of the street. It was nondescript, with a simple sign in the yard that said had a white cross on it. The porch light was on, and Ivy knocked on the door as the remaining females stood on the edge of the open porch.

   The door opened after a moment, and an older woman opened the door, her hair askew and her glasses sitting dangerously low on her nose as she took in the group standing in front of her.

   "Sorry, Liesl. I forgot to radio ahead," Ivy apologized as the woman's mouth hardened.

   "No matter," the woman replied in a slight German accent. She was short and matronly, and she opened the door, waving them in. "I will check them now."

   Maria pushed her in the back, and Gina spun around, getting irritated.

   "You're the tough one. I get it," she said harshly, causing Maria's eyes to narrow. "How about you lay the fuck off for five seconds?"

   Leonore stepped between them as Carol pulled on her arm, jerking her into the house. Her eyes never left Maria's but she could see Ivy smirking slightly out of the corner of her eye.

   "Maria, take off," Ivy told her in a cool voice. "Nora and I will get 'em settled."

   Maria backed away before turning abruptly, slamming her feet down as she walked down the concrete walkway, disappearing into the dark as she retreated back down the street.

   When she faced forward again, Liesl was looking her up and down, her eyes wandering back to her cheek as Ivy pulled her bag from her hand, doing the same with Carol's.

   "They're from North Carolina," she explained, leading them through the foyer into the kitchen. The room was large and sparsely decorated, save for a number of decorative plates the lined the top of the cabinets.

   Ivy pointed to the table, a rich, dark round wood piece that sat near a sliding glass door. Each of them pulled out a chair, sitting down as Liesl went to the refrigerator, pulling out a pitcher of water, placing it on a tray with plastic tumblers, setting it in the middle of the table.

   Briefly, Ivy filled the older woman in on where they were found, and Liesl set off to the examination room, telling Ivy to send them in shortly.

   It was awkward and quiet as she and Carol sat opposite each other, neither speaking until Gina finally apologized.

   "Sorry for snapping," she muttered, meeting Ivy's eyes.

   "Don't be," she told her, drumming her nails on the table. "Maria can be a bitch. She likes to assert her dominance. I like that you have some spunk to you."

   The right side of Gina's mouth twitched as Carol reached out shakily for a cup, retracting her hand when Leonore grabbed the pitcher, pouring a glass and handing it over.

   "Thank you," Carol said, her voice barely audible.

   "So...are you two related?" Leonore asked, reaching up to smooth her bangs off to the side.

   "No. Technically no," Gina replied, pouring herself a small glass of water. "But she's my family nonetheless. We've been together for a while."

   Liesl shouted out from the other room to send one of them in, and Carol stood up, rushing off with her shoulders bowed.

   "She's a skitterish thing isn't she?" Ivy observed, watching the door long after Carol disappeared through it.

   "Carol's been through a lot," Gina said, watching Ivy steadily as Leonore looked between them. "She hasn't had the best life."

   "Yeah, well, none of us has," Ivy retorted with a hint of sharpness.

   Gina kept her composure as she took a chug of water. "I never said we didn't. But we can't all be steel magnolias, can we?"

   Leonore snorted before trying to disguise it as a cough, and Ivy leveled her gaze at her, making the blonde blush. There was an interesting dynamic between the two of them, and Gina couldn't quite put her finger on it. Were they more than just friends? She wasn't sure.

   "So, are we going to meet your leader tonight? Is he here?"

   Ivy's blue eyes crinkled in amusement, and Gina gave her a questioning glance, playing dumb. 

   "No, our leader won't see you until tomorrow."

   The three sat in silence until Carol returned, her eyes rimmed with red as she sat down, looking forlornly at the table.

   "Next!" came Liesl's sharp voice, carrying throughout the room. It set Gina's teeth on edge, reminding her of a schoolmarm, and she stood up, walking slowly down the hall towards an open door in the back of the main floor.

   Peering in, she saw that Liesl was wearing a white coat, and there was a fancy examination table set up along the wall. The floor was made of ceramic tile, and glass cabinets lined the room, filled with supplies. The strange woman patted the table, and Gina climbed on, the butcher's paper crinkling under her ass as she tried to sit up straight.

   Pulling over a metal tray filled with supplies, Liesl instructed her to open her mouth, shining a penlight in as the stranger looked around quickly before shutting her mouth for her and turning her head to the side to study the bruises on her face.

   "How old?" she questioned in a brusque voice, though her fingers were soft as she ran them over the still swollen areas.

   "Less than a week," Gina replied, keeping her gaze on the blinds that covered the windows. They were sparkling clean, she noticed, somewhat impressed.

   "Hmph," Liesl muttered, reaching for alcohol and a few cotton balls, soaking them before dabbing them on her skin, the cool liquid stinging her sensitive skin. When Gina took a deep breath through her nose, the fumes caused her to sneeze, startling the German.

   "Sorry," she said as Liesl resumed her work. When she was satisfied, she ordered Gina to strip so that she could check the rest of her over. Her first test was coming, and she pulled off her ratty old shirt, knowing that Liesl would notice two things. She caught sight of the bruises on her arm, and she touched them lightly, frowning but not saying anything.

   "Off with your pants, please," she ordered, tossing her a hospital gown.

   Gina shrugged her arms into the holes before standing up and kicking off her boots, sliding her jeans down her legs.

   "Lay back."

   She did as she was told, and Liesl lifted one-half of her gown, flopping it over the other side as she checked her reflexes, range of movement general wellness. As she looked down further, she saw the scar, and she hissed out her breath, her finger running along the still jagged incision.

   "This was recent," Liesl told her, looking at her suspiciously.

   "I know," Gina said, staring dully at the ceiling, refusing to look at the other woman.

   "And?" The word was laced wth irritation and curiosity.

   "The baby didn't make it." She said it with the emotion of having lost everything in her life. In truth, had she really lost Michael, she may not have lived herself. The pain would've been too great. But this Gina, the one with a story is a warrior, and though she didn't get to have her child, she had revenge on the man who took it away from her.

   "I am sorry, young lady," she said, and though her voice was still clipped, it also had a softer tone.

   "I"m hopeful I could conceive again," Gina lied, knowing very well that she couldn't.

   "Time will tell," Liesl sighed, covering her back up. After that, she checked Gina's eyes and ears before listening to her heartbeat.

   She was declared well, if not undernourished, and told to head back to the kitchen. Gina shoved on her clothes, making her way back to the other women who were again sitting in complete silence.

   Liesl returned in short order, wiping her hands with a towel as she leaned against the counter.

   "They are otherwise healthy, if in need of some food and rest. I recommended keeping them here tonight in the red room."

   "The red room?" Carol sputtered, looking between Liesl and Gina.

   "It's a safe room," Ivy explained, much more nicely than she could have. "It's a way to protect you and protect us until you meet with the leader. There are beds in there and a shower. You can get cleaned up and get some sleep."

   "You said we could have our knives," Gina interjected. "You said you'd make sure we're comfortable."

   "And I will," Ivy told her testily, getting to her feet. "Once you get you settled in the red room, the knives are yours."

   "So show us the way," Gina prompted, earning a huff of exasperation. As she swung around, she caught Liesl giving Ivy a look of warning. What it was about, Gina wasn't sure.

   She just wanted to be alone with Carol to decompress and have a chance to breathe.

   Liesl led the way, with Ivy behind her. She and Carol walked in tandem and Leonore brought up the rear so that they were effectively boxed in. They followed the two women up the steps and to the right, down a dim hallway to a metal door.

   Unlocking it with a key that she kept around her neck, Liesl let them in. Looking around, Gina saw that it was indeed a red room. Blaringly so. Dark red walls, painted with a shimmery tone. Red hardwood floors, and two twin beds with red pillows and blankets. A simple lamp with a red shade sat on the nightstand that stood between the two beds.

   The windows had been boarded up with the red wood, so there was no way to escape, presumably.

   "This is great, thanks," Gina said, setting her back down and sinking onto the bed.

   "Shampoo, conditioner, soap and toothpaste are in the bathroom. Clean yourself up and get some rest," Liesl commanded before handing Gina the knives and locking the door.

   Gina could see Ivy watching her through the small crack until it disappeared completely. Once they heard the clink of the lock in place, the two of them flopped backward on their respective beds, looking at each other with wide smiles.

   Carol was the first to bathe and clean herself up, emerging with a towel wrapped around her as she pawed through her pack, looking for something to wear.

   Gina trudged tiredly in next, cleaning herself well under the warm spray, her thoughts drifting to Negan and the kids, wondering how they were holding up. She wanted him so badly with her at that moment, if only just to kiss her tenderly and tell her that she was doing the right thing. She missed his face, the stubble that tickled her lips and chin when he didn't shave. She longed for his strong arms, that could hold her so securely. His lips that could be so hard and so soft at the same time, whispering loving words or dirty thoughts as he hovered above her, causing her to shiver. Mostly she missed his smell. The smell of love and safety and the knowledge that he was hers.

   Once she was dressed, she combed her shorter hair before yanking back the covers and sliding into the bed, watching Carol as she bustled around for a few minutes before she, too, got in bed. They lay facing each other, both lost in thought.

   "And so it begins," Carol murmured before turning out the light, plunging them into total darkness.

   Surprisingly, the two of them fell fast asleep, thoughts and dreams of what awaited them the next day bouncing through their minds.


	89. Chapter 89

  
   The door opened with a creak, and light shot into the room, causing Gina's eyes to snap open. She sat up quickly, squinting towards the door, momentarily confused. It took her a second to place the woman staring at her, and she finally remembered her name was Liesl. The medic.

   "It's morning," she informed them in her clipped voice. "Get dressed and I'll get you some breakfast." The door shut with a final sound, and the lock clicked back into place.

   "Carol," she moaned, flopping her head back down. 

   A muffled grumble came from the other bed, and Gina reached out with her right arm, flicking on the lamp. Once again, they were engulfed in red, and Gina blinked several times, trying to get a grip on their situation. They were really here in Cleo's community, and she would no doubt be meeting with them.

   Swinging her feet out of the bed with a groan, she pulled herself into a sitting position, smoothing her hair out of her face as Carol opened her eyes, watching her warily.

   "Gretel has commanded us to rise, and she will be fixing us breakfast," Gina said in a mocking German accent as she stood up, and Carol gave her a smirk. 

   Throwing off the covers, she joined Gina in the bathroom as they brushed their teeth. She turned the faucet on all the way, filling the room with the sound of rushing water. 

   "Hey, do you think anyone would recognize you from the Kingdom?" she asked in a low voice as Carol chewed on the bristles of her toothbrush. "Sherry told me that they watched the communities before they attacked."

   Carol thought for a moment, spitting out some of the foamy toothpaste into the sink before answering. 

   "I don't think so," she said, wiping her mouth with a red towel. "I wasn't out and about a lot right before the attack."

   "Why not?"

   "I'd been sick," she told Gina, hanging the towel back up, making sure it was centered on the towel rod. "I'd been bedridden with the flu for a few days, and before that, I was spending a lot of time indoors, repainting the school rooms."

   "You sure?"

   Carol looked at her with one eyebrow raised and Gina shrugged. "I'm just making sure. We're already behind the eight-ball if Annabeth or that idiot from Alexandria is still here."

   "Like I said, just let me know if you see either one," Carol said over her shoulder as she walked back to her bed, tidying it up before slipping into a shirt and a pair of jeans. 

   Gina studied her reflection as she brushed her hair, pulling it back into a little ponytail. Her cheek was purple from Carol's punch, but it was beginning to fade, leaving several different dark shades of violet underneath her eye. Her lip was no longer swollen, but there was a little scab in the corner of her mouth. The only other telltale sign of suffering was the large bags underneath her lower lids, giving away the fact that she hadn't slept much lately. 

   Raising her eyebrows at her doppelganger, she shut off the bathroom light, getting dressed before making her bed. The two sat in silence until the rattle of a key in the look got them to their feet. They had tucked their knives back into their bags, anxious to look accommodating as the door opened.

   This time it was Ivy who was standing in the hall, and she smiled briefly before waving them forward. Gina let Carol walk ahead of her, once again impressed with how quickly she got into character. She'd dialed down on the fear a bit but still moved with jerky movements as if she expected an ambush at any moment. 

   Meanwhile, Gina kept her eyes moving, taking in as much of the house as she could, also studying Ivy's body language as she led them towards the steps. The tall woman seemed slightly rigid as if anticipating trouble, though she swung her arms back and forth haphazardly. 

   The air was filled with the smell of pancakes, and Gina's mouth watered automatically, practically able to taste them through her nose. The trio walked one by one into the kitchen, and Gina nodded her head once at Leonore, who sat facing the doorway, waiting for them. 

   Ivy gestured towards the same seats they'd taken the night before, and she and Carol set their bags down before each pulled out a chair, sitting down. 

   "Did ya sleep all right?" Leonore asked, pouring them a glass of water as Gina placed a napkin in her lap. 

   "Pretty well," Gina replied, resting her elbows on the edge of the table, glancing at Carol. "Thanks for asking, Leonore."

   "You can just call me Nora," she said, setting the pitcher down with a thump. 

   "Nora it is, then."

   Liesl was busy at the stove as the four glanced at each other, and Gina noticed that Ivy was biting the edge of her cheek as if she was deep in thought. Part of her wanted to ask her if there was a problem, but she knew that if there was one, they'd certainly be made aware of it. Instead, she turned her attention to the plates that were across from the table, lined up along the top of the cabinets. 

   They were entirely too ornate for her taste, but then again, it wasn't her house. Still, there were a few that were covered in blooming flowers, and they reminded her of the wallpaper in Casey's room. A wave of sadness came over her like a punch to the gut, and she actually ran her hands over her stomach.

   "Feeling all right?" Ivy asked, watching her closely.

   "Just hungry, I think," Gina muttered, grimacing lightly. "The food smells delicious."

   "It really does smell wonderful," Carol added, her face turning a light shade of pink. "Is there anything I can help with?"

   Once again, she was amazed at how Carol could do what she did. She was like a chameleon, able to disguise herself to fit any situation.

   Liesl grunted a possible no over her shoulder, and she brought over a large stack of pancakes a minute later, setting them in the middle of the table. A bowl of fruit followed along with maple syrup, and she served everyone a healthy portion before disappearing out of the room after Gina and Carol thanked her. 

   It was quiet except for the sound of silverware scraping across the dishes, and Gina ate more than her fill, feeling full for the first time in over a week. She'd damn near starved herself the week before they left, and it didn't take much to make her stomach feel almost bloated. 

   "After we're done, I'm going to take you over to meet the big boss," Ivy informed them, wiping a bit of syrup off of her mouth with her hand. 

   Right on cue, Carol's hand began to tremble slightly, and Gina reached over the table, giving her a squeeze. 

   "Is there anything we should know beforehand?" Gina asked, keeping her eyes on Carol. 

   "Such as?" Nora asked, looking between the two of them curiously. 

   "I don't know," Gina admitted, looking down. "That's why I'm asking, I guess. Is he nice? Stern?"

   "Just be honest," Nora advised her, smiling as she pushed her plate away. "That's all that's expected."

   Without prompting, Carol stood up, collecting the dishes from the table and carrying them to the sink. Ivy gave her a puzzled look, but Gina just shook her head. "She's fine," she mouthed.

   Once the table was clear, the two residents stood, and Gina picked up her bag, as did Carol. Ivy called out a goodbye to Liesl, and they made their way to the door. 

   The sun was shining brightly as they got their first look at the town in the light of day. Shielding her eyes, Gina swept her gaze up and down the street, surprised at a number of women that were outside. Each house was well manicured, and the ones that had grass were neatly mowed. Alternating houses had removed the grass, and it appeared that they'd already planted crops for the upcoming season. It was an efficient use of space. 

   While she was looking around, Gina kept her eyes peeled for Annabeth and Desiree, but none of the women looked familiar. Of course, they were only on one street, so they could potentially be anywhere, but Ivy began to walk down the driveway, and she got moving as her nerves started to fire up.

  _It's just a play. Remember your lines._

   Gina repeated the mantra over and over in her head as they walked south towards the bottom of the street. While they moved, some of the women stopped what they were doing to stare at the newcomers. There were females of varying ages on the street, and they appeared to be healthy, if not hard around the edges. 

   When they reached the end of the road, Ivy led them to the right and Gina saw that there was a large common area in the center of the community, filled with benches, two gazebos, and a large brick fire pit. 

   "Like what you see?" Nora asked, coming to her side with a grin. 

   "You have an amazing set up here," Gina admitted, and it was the truth. These people had restored this neighborhood to its former glory, and the hard work they put in showed. It was just too bad that they were killing innocent people for no good goddamned reason. 

   Glancing back, she saw that Carol was just behind them, wearing an expression of awe and trepidation, and she reached back, pulling her by the hand as Nora made room for her. 

   "Together?" Carol asked, loud enough for Nora to hear.

   "Together," Gina affirmed, smiling at her. 

   Nora seemed touched, so it had the intended effect as they sped up, keeping pace with Ivy, who was leading them towards the entrance. As they rounded the bend, she and Carol saw that the guard station was still standing and there were two women inside the little booth, both armed. Several more were walking along the walls, keeping watch, and all were in the green and black uniform. 

   They passed the entrance and headed towards the adjoining street, and Ivy quickened her strides, turning up the first driveway to a pale brick house that was surrounded by flowers. Crocuses, irises, and Hyacinth all bordered the edges of the house and they were awash in color, giving the home a cheery appearance, quite at odds with what she'd heard about Cleo. 

    _It's just a play. Remember your lines._

   If she said it enough, maybe she could start to believe it. 

   Ivy knocked on the door three times, and a young woman answered almost immediately, ushering them inside. 

   "You can set your stuff down," Ivy told them, and Gina piled both bags next to the door. 

   The house was tastefully decorated, leading Gina to wonder if Cleo kept whatever was left here, or if she made changes once she installed her group here. There was no time to wonder because the sound of footsteps overhead drew their attention to the staircase.

   A pair of black boots came slowly into view, and she felt Carol stiffen next to her. Cleo apparently loved an entrance, because her legs appeared next, moving at a glacial pace as Gina's heart began to thump in a stilted rhythm. Hips came next and finally her arms, which were muscular. Her face finally followed, and Gina was thrown when she came into view. 

   She wasn't sure what she was expecting, but it wasn't this. Maybe a brusque, mannish woman since Sherry said she was in the military. But this woman was very feminine and very pretty. 

   Her hair was a reddish brown, and cut short, almost in the same style as Nora's. She had large, green eyes that seemed to take up half of her face, giving her an enchanted appearance. A pert, upturned nose and full lips completed her look, and she was curvy in all the right places, even though she was muscular. 

   For some reason, Negan flashed through her mind, and she thought that if he and Cleo had met when the world first went to hell, they could've been king and queen of the ashes. Two gorgeous, brutal people to rain hell down on the rest of them. 

   She didn't realize that she was so thrown off until Carol pulled her hand from her grasp. Gina was obviously squeezing it hard, and she tore her eyes away from the woman as she worked to get herself as calm as possible. 

   "Ivy. Nora," the woman said, her voice a rich deep sound. Christ, she even had the perfect voice. 

   "This is Cleo," Ivy said, turning to face Gina and Carol, not quite smirking, but not warmly smiling either. "Our leader."

   Gina tried to look awed, and Carol fidgeted next to her, drawing Cleo's attention. 

   "You must be Gina and Carol," she purred, closing the distance between them with her arm extended. Gina shook her hand, and Cleo's grip was strong. Carol was next and she could feel Cleo trying to get a sense of who they were. 

   "Come on," she gestured, turning towards the left, where there were a set of double doors. "Let's get to know each other."

   The woman who let them in opened the doors, revealing an office, which was filled with books and framed maps. There were two leather couches set on an oriental rug facing each other and a large, polished wood desk. 

   Cleo sat down on one of the couches, so Gina and Carol took the opposite one, sitting close together as the doors shut behind them. 

   "Ivy told me that you two were staying not far from here," she began, perching on the edge of the cushion, her hand resting on her fist as if they were going to tell her an entertaining story. Her posture and tone were completely neutral, and Gina couldn't read her.

   "We'd been on the road for a few days," Gina offered, crossing her legs and linking her fingers together around her knees, doing her best not to fidget. 

   "So you came from North Carolina, correct? At least that's what I'd been told."

   "Yes, ma'am," Carol said, her voice cracking slightly as Cleo's green eyes roamed over her face. 

   "Why?" It was simple and to the point. 

   "Ed. John. Both or either. Take your pick," Gina scoffed, letting a little anger bleed through her words. She noticed that Cleo's eyes glittered dangerously, and her mouth hardened. 

   "I'm going to need you to elaborate," she said, her voice ringing with authority, and she felt Carol melt into her, just as they'd practiced. 

   Gina took a slow, deep breath, closing her eyes as she leaned back against the cushion. _Here we go_.

   "Ed. Ed was a dick of a man. One of those impotent, 'women should be seen and not heard' types of assholes. Always drunk and raging, bitter over his own shortcomings. Treating Carol like a piece of shit," she said, her voice growing stronger as she continued, though she refused to open her eyes. "He didn't even bother to hide the fact that he was abusive. At least, not after a while. Oh, sure, he disguised it when we all first met up, but really, how long can you make up excuses when your wife shows up with new bruises every other day?"

   Carol shook next to her, and Gina's eyes fluttered as she reached an arm around her shoulders, protecting her from her memories. 

   "The people in our small little group would separate them, but Ed would always promise to be on his best behavior, and our asshole leader Jim would put them back together, just to keep the peace."

   Cleo's eyebrows furrowed as she looked at Carol, who could only nod. 

   "Why did you put up with it, Carol?"

   Carol's eyes filled with tears, and Gina gave her an encouraging look. 

   "I thought I had to," she rasped, wiping at her eyes. "I couldn't shoot, I couldn't hunt. I couldn't do anything, I assumed. Ed always took care of us."

   "So what changed?" Cleo pressed, and Gina saw that her knuckles were turning white. 

   "Gina and I got close," Carol told her, giving her a simpering smile. "She taught me to fight and to shoot. To learn how to take care of myself. And I saw that I didn't have to be a punching bag anymore. I could do this."

   The two women smiled at each other, and it was genuine, at least on Gina's end. 

   A knock on the door caused the three of them to turn their heads, and the young woman came in, carrying a tray with three cups on it. Setting it down between them, she retreated, leaving them alone again. 

   Cleo leaned across, taking a mug filled with coffee, sipping at it before setting it down. Gina and Carol each took one, and the three watched each other with only the clicking of a grandfather clock in the corner of the room making a sound. 

   "And who was John?" Cleo inquired, matching Gina's posture, giving Gina her full attention. 

   "My boyfriend."

   "He was an abuser, too?"

   "Not at first," Gina sighed, dropping her eyes. "He was sweet. Charming."

   A reminiscent smile crossed her face and she brought her gaze back up. "He was tall. Maybe six-five. And he had this long, blonde hair that hung down his shoulders. I thought he looked like a Viking when I first met him," she mused, letting her eyes unfocus. But instead of picturing him, she thought of Negan as she spoke. The man she truly loved. The one she was sitting here for. 

   "That's how they get ya," she said, snapping back to attention, aware that Cleo was listening intently. "They reel you in with charm and whispered promises. Loving gestures when you're lying in bed in the dark, all wrapped up in each other."

   Giving her an understanding smile, Cleo inclined her head for her to continue. 

   "No, it wasn't until I got pregnant that things changed," Gina lied, praying that she wouldn't go to hell for this whopper. "He got jealous or something," she opined, biting at the loose skin on her bottom lip. "Didn't want to share me with the baby, I think."

   "I'm sorry," Cleo murmured, but Gina didn't acknowledge her, once again closing her eyes as she plumbed the depths of her imagined grief, feeling her nose start to run and her eyes start to water. 

   "I was maybe seven months when we got into a fight one night when we were lying in bed," she said, letting her breathing start to speed up. Gina could feel her nose start to drip, and she let it flow, not bothering to wipe it. "He-he kicked me so hard that I flew into the wall." 

   "You don't have to say anymore," Cleo told her, but she kept going. 

   "I started to bleed almost immediately," she continued, her hands running over her stomach as she spoke. "They tried," she whispered. "They tried, but they couldn't save him."

   She could feel Carol clinging to her, and the combined heat from their bodies caused her face to go flush. When she opened her eyes, Cleo looked ill, and Gina very nearly felt remorseful. The only thing stopping her was the memories of the carnage at the Kingdom, witnessed firsthand. 

   "They had to die. Why should they get to live when my boy was dead? When she and I were broken beyond repair?" she wondered aloud. "Carol and I get to live. Not them."

   Cleo's mouth twitched, and Gina feigned self-consciousness. 

   "I'm sorry," she apologized. "That probably wasn't the kind of story you were hoping for."

   The leader's head tilted to the side curiously. 

   "I understand if you don't want us here. Ivy said we could have our stuff back and be on our way."

   Cleo rose to her feet, walking with sinewy steps to the window, her hands on her hips as Gina and Carol stared at her. Her voice was low as she spoke over her shoulder, and when she did, her words gave Gina a thrill of victory and fear. 

   "Trust me, ladies. You belong here."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They shoot...and score!   
> Fair warning: there will be some seriously messed up stuff coming in the next few chapters.


	90. Chapter 90

**Talia**

 

   Evelyn shifted in her carrier as Talia walked, the handle laying in the crook of her arm. She was on her way to drop her off with Ronnie, bypassing Tina's for the time being. 

   It had been several days since her failed attempt to sleep with Negan, and she and Daryl hadn't told anyone what they'd heard. When the voice first came over the radio asking her sister's man if he wanted company, Talia had flown up out of the bed, pushing Daryl back as she tossed the radio on the bed next to him.

   "Oh, this bitch," she'd muttered, grabbing her clothes off of the floor, sliding them on quickly as Daryl scrambled off the mattress, radio clutched in his hand as he blocked the door. 

   "Ya can't go bargin' in there," he growled, turning up the volume. "How the hell are ya goin' to explain it?"

   "I don't have to explain it," she hissed, trying to push him out of the way. 

   "Shhh," he ordered her, turning his attention Negan's voice as he asked Tina if she wanted a drink. The sounds of footsteps followed, along with someone taking several deep breaths. "Let's hear what he does first. Then if ya have to kill someone, I won't stop ya."

   Talia's jaw clenched, but she didn't make any attempts to move. 

   A minute later, the footsteps sounded again and she heard Negan sit down again. At least, that's what she assumed was happening as the couch creaked in the background. 

   "How are you holding up?" Tina asked, trying to sound concerned, her voice low and breathy. 

   "We're managing."

   "I can't imagine how hard it's been for you with Gina just taking off like that."

   Daryl shook his head as Talia snatched the radio out of his hand, carrying it back to the bed. "She didn't just take off, you asshole," Talia muttered, staring at the radio with anger. Wow. She wanted to jump through the speaker and throttle this woman. 

   Negan made some comment about being a single dad, chuckling, and she got even more pissed. If he was going to flirt with Tina, Talia was going to have two deaths on her hands. 

   Daryl walked back and sat down next to her after he threw his pants back on, seemingly ready to follow her out the door if not to assist her, then at least to help with the aftermath. 

   "Does it bother you that Devin is so upset?"

  What? What did she miss? Devin?

   "Nope," Negan replied. "My girl is a tough act to follow. Very few women could live up to her."

   Talia's breathing started to increase as she listened to him let loose on Tina. Oh, thank God. They paid close attention as he told her that he had no intention of cheating on Gina and that if she ever found out what Tina did, she'd be more than sorry. 

   After the door closed over the radio, she and Daryl heard Negan whistling, and the sound faded, leaving only the faint whisper of nothingness. 

   Relieved, Talia set the radio on the nightstand as she flopped back on the bed. No one would die today, least of all Negan. Daryl smirked as he pulled her towards his chest, running his hand through her hair. 

   "The asshole's gotten smarter," he observed, meeting Talia's gaze as she shook her head slightly. 

   Since that night, Tina had claimed she had the flu, and Ronnie had taken over school duties so that she could recover. 

   Whatever was going on with her, Talia knew damn well that if Gina ever found out, she'd fucking flip her shit. Negan still didn't know they'd heard everything, and she was currently debating on whether or not to tell him. 

   Knocking on Ronnie's door, Talia balanced Evelyn in front of her, giving the woman a smile as she invited them in. Casey was already there for the day, playing with Judith, and Michael was sound asleep in the swing in the living room as Ronnie took her daughter. 

   "Thanks again," she said, kissing the baby on her head. "I won't be too long. I just need to meet with Rick for a few minutes."

   "Take as long as you need," Ronnie assured her. "We'll be having a good time here."

   Rick was currently set up in Gina's office, and Talia headed towards the dock, curious as to why he wanted to meet her there. They lived in the same house, so he could talk to her anytime, but he'd specifically requested that she come there. A part of her wondered if he'd heard from Carol and Gina, and it caused her to move faster towards the docks, nearly mowing down one of the fishermen as he tried to pass her. 

   Throwing an apology over her shoulder, she opened the door to the offices, heading down the hall to the last door. She knocked, and Rick's voice floated through, telling her to come in. He was sitting behind the desk, surrounded by ledgers as he ran his hand through his hair, causing it to stick up in little tufts. 

   When he looked up, he saw that Talia was watching him with a skeptical frown and he let out a sound of frustration. 

   "I need you to take over the books," he said, pushing away from the desk. 

   "Huh? I don't know anything about this stuff."

   "You're going to learn," he barked, pulling her around the desk and forcing her into the chair. 

   "Rick," she whined, but he held up his hand, in no mood for pleasantries. 

   "I'm serious. You have to do this."

   Talia was about to make a smart comment until she came to a sudden realization. This wasn't because he didn't know what he was doing, or he didn't want to do it anymore. He was setting her up for something. 

   "Why?" she demanded, crossing her arms over her chest. "I want the truth."

   Rick turned himself around, leaning against the edge of the desk as she glared up at him. His eyes were downturned as he refused to make eye contact with her. 

   "Because I'm leaving."

  
**Gina**

   A bead of sweat rolled down her forehead, and Gina wiped at it absently as she sat back on her haunches, evaluating the strip of land in front of her. She'd been working for hours, pulling up grass and loosening the soil for planting.

   She'd been placed on gardening duty for the last week, and it was showing in her physique. Her muscles were becoming more clearly defined in her arms, and despite the fact that it was early spring, Gina was getting tan, especially since it'd been sunny for the last several days. 

   There was a minor ache in her shoulder, and she rubbed at it absently. Her tattoo was still healing, and once in a while, she felt the skin tingling. It was one of Cleo's rules, put in place not long after Sherry had left, apparently. Everyone was required to have one to make it easier to identify if something should happen to them, and each design was recorded for posterity.

   Carol had asked for a flower. A Cherokee rose, specifically, and Gina had guessed it had some sort of special meaning for her. It had taken Amelia, the tattoo artist several hours to complete it, and Carol had stayed silent the entire time, never moving her wrist, where it now sat, blooming for eternity.

   She had chosen only three letters for herself, a linked design of an M, C, and N on her back right shoulder. Cleo questioned her about it, and Gina only told her that they stood for the name of her son. It had taken considerably less time than Carol's, and she'd looked at it sadly in the mirror when it was done. Cleo assumed the was mourning her deceased child, when she was actually trying to hold herself together, imagining the three people she loved most in the world moving on without her. 

   It had been over a week since she'd laid eyes on them, and they dominated her thoughts. Gina missed the smell of Michael's head. She wanted to hear Casey's voice, telling her how much she loved her. And Negan. What could she say? She ached for everything about him. 

   Shortly after they'd told Cleo their reasons for fleeing Raleigh, she'd spent the next few hours questioning them about damn near everything, including their plans for the future. 

   "We just want to be safe," Carol had told her passionately, clasping her hands together. "We'll do anything you need us to."

   "That's good to hear," Cleo replied, smiling serenely. "I work hard, and I expect the same from everyone here. We've built our supplies up as well as our territory. All I ask is that you contribute."

   Gina and Carol were then shown the entirety of the community. Every road and building except for one. There was a plain warehouse at the rear of the property, not far from where Gina was currently working. Cleo had bypassed it on their tour, and when Gina questioned her, Cleo came to a stop in the middle of the road.

   "That building is off limits until I'm sure that you can be trusted."

   She opened her mouth to speak, but Carol placed her hand on Gina's arm, stopping her. "We understand completely."

   Cleo had turned her green eyes towards Gina, almost in a challenge, and she'd shrugged her shoulders. "Sure."

   The rest of the trek had been uneventful, and Cleo took them to a house two streets over from her own, the opposite direction of the medical house. Producing a key from her pocket, she placed it in Carol's hand, gesturing her towards the door. With a disbelieving smile, she unlocked it, and they got a look at their new abode. 

   "Your new home," Cleo said, shutting the door behind them. The house was nice, fully decorated and already stocked with food. She gave them a quick tour before settling at the dining room table. 

   "Take the next day to get settled, and learn your way around. I want you to come see me the day after, and we'll set you up with jobs. I know you can handle yourself," she said, giving Gina a smile, "but for the time being, I'll want you inside the walls."

   Gina gave her a small smile in return. "We appreciate everything you've done."

   "Yes, thank you," Carol murmured, her eyes becoming glassy. 

   "There's just one more thing," Cleo said, her face hardening slightly. "You've never questioned why there are no men around."

   She and Carol exchanged a glance before Gina replied. 

   "I assumed that it was intentional."

   Cleo zeroed in on her response, licking her bottom lip as her eyes narrowed. "Intentional how?"

   Gina chose her words carefully then. "Either you don't have any men here, or you thought it would be best to let us get settled once Ivy brought us back. I assumed she warned you ahead of time about the state she found us in. Am I wrong?"

   Of course, she didn't get an answer. Cleo got to her feet, striding towards the door. "Make sure you visit the commissary. They've been instructed on what to provide in the way of clothes and supplies for you."

   The front door had closed with a slam, and she and Carol were alone. The remainder of the first day had been spent cleaning the house from top to bottom, though not because it was dirty. It gave them the chance to look for any cameras or microphones that may have been placed there to monitor them. Carol seemed slightly disappointed that there were none, but Gina was relieved. As far as they knew, Cleo was trusting them, at least a little bit. 

   Once they'd met up with her again, she assigned Carol to work in inventory, and Gina was put with the growers. The group was led by a woman named Melissa, who greeted her warmly on her first day, shaking her hand with a strong grip.

   "Welcome," she said, pulling her forward gently. Melissa was young, with brown hair and friendly hazel eyes. "I heard we had some new members."

   "Thank you," Gina said, pumping her hand up and down. "Just show me where you need me and I'll be glad to get busy."

   "Do you have any gardening experience?"

   "I sure do," she answered, looking around with interest. In addition to the little gardens that were set up at the houses, the park in the middle of the compound was littered with greenhouses. Melissa took her around, introducing her to the other workers, all of whom seemed friendly enough. They were of varying ages, maybe a dozen in all. 

   Each of the buildings was already set up for the upcoming harvest, and she was placed in the last one to help with transplants. All of the facilities were equipped with solar panels, and they were regulated well. She spent the first few days inside the warm air, watering plants and pulling weeds until Melissa asked her if she was willing to try something more labor intensive. 

   After agreeing, she was taken to the back wall, near the mysterious building, listening to Melissa as she went over the plans to expand the growing areas. There were large open patches of sod that served no purpose and could be torn up to plant larger crops like corn and sunflowers. 

   She had no problem working alone, and it gave her time to observe the building as she did. At least once a day, groups of three or four women would enter and stay for about an hour. They'd all leave together and then a new set would come along. It turned her stomach, positive that it was where the men were being held. 

   Each night, other than when they met with Cleo for a follow-up, she and Carol would have dinner together, discussing what they saw that day. Being in inventory, Carol was keeping track of what they had at their disposal, although at this point, she was only given access to food and personal items. But she'd been able to deduce that weapons were kept underground, below the main floor. 

   Only a few people had keys to get downstairs, and Carol was currently working on befriending one of them. Her name was Karenna, and she was close to Carol's age, though not nearly as fit as she was. She was also a chatty thing according to Carol, and she'd been able to get information on a good chunk of the women here. 

   "They've been royally fucked over," Carol told her, scooping out a serving of spaghetti as Gina plopped down in her chair one night, covered in dirt and scratches from tearing out barberry bushes along the brick wall. 

   "Yeah, well, so have we. You don't see us kidnapping men and raping them."

   "I'm not excusing it," Carol said patiently, her face unmoving. "I'm just telling you what I'm hearing."

   "Sorry," Gina grumbled, taking the plate and setting it down with a thump. "I'm just cranky."

   She was tired, she was missing her home and they were here for who fucking knew how long. It was going to take them time to find out enough to take this place out, and she knew that going in, but it didn't change the fact that she was missing out on the rest of her life. "Go on."

   "Karenna told me that she'd been a part of a group in D.C. before Cleo found her. Her husband was a diplomat and they weren't able to get a flight home once everything fell apart. They'd been protected by their security detail at the beginning when shit was chaotic, but the men eventually took off, realizing that the weren't obligated to put their lives on the line for two middle aged foreigners anymore."

   Carol took a bite, chewing slowly as Gina pushed hers around her plate, not really wanting to hear anyone else's sob story. 

   "They ended up being found by a group that wasn't too dissimilar from the Saviors."

   Gina's head popped up, and she shot Carol a dirty look, but the older woman had zoned out. 

   "Needless to say," she continued, blinking hard, "her husband was executed, and she was attacked and kept prisoner."

   Anger bubbled up, causing her cheeks to flush, and Gina stood up, her appetite gone. "Negan never raped anyone, and he killed any man that did."

   She stomped up the steps, yanking her clothes off as she jumped into the shower, scrubbing her skin roughly while she fumed. Gina was well aware of Negan's faults, but a rapist he was not. And she wasn't going to justify anything that happened years ago to Carol. 

   When she emerged from her bathroom, Carol was sitting on her bed, looking uncomfortably apologetic. In fact, it threw her, since she'd never seen Carol remorseful about anything. She just was who she was.

   "I didn't mean to upset you."

   "I love him," Gina said after a minute, sitting down heavily. "I know who he was to you, but I know who he _is_ to me. And he's not that man you think he is anymore. You may not believe it, but I don't care. I know it for a fact."

   Carol was looking down, tracing her new tattoo with her index finger. 

   "I hope you're right," she muttered, rising to her feet. "I really do."

   Gina jammed the shovel into the ground, rising to her feet as she came back to the present. The sun was going down, and the streets were oddly quiet. Placing both hands on her back, she bent backward, trying to stretch out her sore muscles. All she did was give herself a cramp in her stomach, and she swore under her breath as she rubbed the pulsing area. 

   Extracting the shovel from the earth, she carried it over her shoulder as she headed back towards the greenhouse, quickening her pace as the wind started to pick up. She realized that the sun wasn't going down so much as a storm was heading in, and Gina was going to end up in a downpour if she didn't get her ass in gear. 

   The wind blew her hair out in a tussle as she rounded the corner, ducking into the largest greenhouse as the rain started to fall. After leaning her shovel in the corner she closed the door, listening to the storm beat against the glass, creating a rattling sound that drowned out her thoughts. 

   She stood motionless, watching the rain slide down the walls in large rivulets until a flash of lightning exploded overhead, illuminating the little room. 

   Her heart nearly jumped out of her chest when she realized she wasn't alone. In the corner, ducking down under one of the raised beds was a man.

 


	91. Chapter 91

   The man was crouched down low, stuck against the wall alongside the garden bed, and he watched her with wide eyes as she jumped back, pulling her knife from her belt.

 _Fuck Cleo for not letting me carry my gun_ , she thought, reaching back for the shovel. With one weapon in each hand, she kept her eyes on the stranger, who began to crawl towards her.

   "Stop," she ordered, trying to keep from hyperventilating, and he stopped as another flash of lightning went off overhead, giving them both more sight.

   "Please, lady," he begged, inching forwards. "Please help me."

   He was young, with dark hair and dirty, tattered clothes that looked a lot like scrubs, and she held her knife out in front of her.

   "I need to get out of here," he croaked, holding up his hands as he got shakily to his feet. The man wasn't much taller than her, and she could see in the dim light that he wasn't wearing any shoes. His feet were covered in dirt and bits of grass, and she took a step back towards the door, her heart pounding as thunder began to roll, causing the windows to shake. "Please help me."

   When he got within striking distance, she swung the shovel, catching him in the shoulder as he lunged for her, tackling her around the midsection. The both of them flew backwards as he tried to wrench the knife from her hand. Old traumas came roaring to the surface as she kneed him in the groin, causing him to let out a scream of pain, and he rolled off to the side.

   Scrambling for the shovel, she hit him directly over the head, and he went slack, unconscious. Gina sat panting for a few minutes as she tried to regain some semblance of control. It wasn't the same. It wasn't John. It was a stranger.

   Looking around the small building, she spied a large roll of twine sitting on the tool bench that they used to tie up plants, and she got to her feet shakily as she pulled it off of the wooden shelf. The man was lying on his side, so she shifted him onto his back, tying his hands securely before grabbing the scissors that hung on the wall, snipping the material once she was sure his arms were immovable.

   After watching him for a minute and determining that he was still out, she set to work binding his legs, but leaving enough slack that he could walk. The stranger was breathing slowly, and when she was done, she patted him down to make sure he didn't have any weapons on him.

   The room lit up again, and she saw that he was, in fact, wearing scrubs. Red ones. Why he didn't have shoes, she had no idea and she contemplated what to do with him. He must be one of the men that were taken hostage. It wasn't that she didn't feel sorry for him. She did. She just cared more about herself at the moment, and if she did help him get away, she'd be the one to pay the price.

   It also occurred to her after a beat that this might be some sort of test. That Cleo may have manufactured this scenario to see if she'd help him. Well, fuck her. She wasn't falling for it.

   Gina stood over him, thinking furiously as the rain started to diminish, and when it began to come down normally, she went around the room, looking for something to transport the unconscious man in.

   Hidden in the corner, underneath one of the beds was a black, steel gardening wagon, filled with supplies. Crawling underneath the wooden structure, she dragged it out, sure that she was probably covered in spiders, smacking at her skin with revulsion. She'd always hated spiders.

   After unloading the tools, she wheeled it over to where the man was laying, and she heaved him into the frame, dumping him on his side. He didn't wake up, and she began to worry that he was seriously injured.

   Peering out of the door, she saw that the streets were still empty, so she took hold of the handle pulling the man out onto the gravel path. They got stuck twice, and she grunted in frustration, nearly tipping the wagon over as she got him onto solid ground. The rain fell on both of them as she headed to Cleo's house, wiping the excess moisture off of her face as she glanced back to make sure he was still there. He was.

   Gina left him at the base of the porch while she climbed up, putting her knife back in her belt, knocking sharply on the door before ringing the bell.

   The young woman that she'd met the first night opened the door, her eyes widening as Gina stepped aside to let her see the gift she'd brought. Hayley was her name, and she rushed off, opening the office doors and disappearing behind them as Gina tried to wring out her hair, the drops spattering onto the porch as she shivered.

   Cleo came strutting out after a moment, and she took in the scene with an inscrutable face.

   "Get Ivy and Nora," she instructed over her shoulder. Hayley edged around her as Gina leaned up against the side of the door.

   "Care to tell me what happened?" she asked in a cool tone as Gina raised her eyebrows.

   "Would you care to tell me?" she shot back, wiping her face again. Cleo didn't appear amused and she shrugged her shoulders. "I went to put my shit away in one of the greenhouses, and he was hiding in there."

   Cleo's eyes narrowed as she looked down at the lump in the wagon, and her head shook back and forth. "Did he say anything?"  
"He asked me to help him get out of here."

   Ivy and Nora came jogging up the driveway, faltering only slightly before coming to a stop behind the wagon. Without a word, they both reached down, picking the strange man up and hauling him inside as Gina stepped out of the way.

   Carelessly, they dumped him on the floor, and he moaned slightly before going still again.

   "Go home and get cleaned up," Cleo ordered before closing the door. "I'll stop by later."

   Gina stood there a moment, looking at the house in disbelief before turning around and walking home. She was shaking as she opened the door, dripping all over the foyer as Carol walked out of the kitchen, drying her hands on a towel.

   "What the hell happened to you?" she asked, looking at her suspiciously.

   "I'll tell you in a minute," she muttered, taking her belt off and setting it on the side table. After she kicked off her shoes, she climbed the steps, rubbing her arms to try to bring back some feeling to them. They were numb from the cold, and she stripped her clothes off as soon as she got to her room. Her jeans stuck to her legs, and she ended up falling over to her side as she tried to peel them off.

   She turned on the shower as hot as it would go, stepping in and standing under the spray as the feeling started to return to her extremities. Her fingers and toes were tingling as they started to return to normal, and her thoughts turned to the man in the greenhouse. Gina wondered if he was the first one to try to escape, and she struggled to figure out how he did it.

   Scanning her memories, she tried to bring him up in her mind. Vaguely, she remembered seeing marks around his wrists as she tied the twine around them, and she surmised that he was probably in handcuffs or some other sort of restraint. She didn't think he had the same marks on his ankles, though, but she couldn't recall.

   After cleaning herself up, she turned off the water, dressing quickly in a sweatshirt and flannel pants, putting on a fresh pair of socks. She took the time to dry her hair before walking back downstairs, finding Carol waiting at their dining room table with two cups of coffee in front of her.

   Gina sat down across from her, taking one of the mugs and holding it between her hands.

   Carol listened closely as she told her about the man and how she knocked him out, taking him to Cleo's.

   "Good thinking," she murmured, sipping from her cup. "It was probably a test."

   "That's what I thought, too, but Cleo and Hayley seemed surprised to see him."

   "It could've been an act," Carol reminded her, and Gina tilted her head slightly as she lifted the cup to her lips.

   "I don't think it was," she said, frowning after she took a drink. "Cleo hasn't even told us about the men yet. I'm thinking she would've waited until we knew about them to try something like this. I'm guessing this guy actually got free and was trying to get away."

   "Hmm," Carol murmured, her eyes staring over her shoulder as she thought about it. "True."

   "Cleo is coming over here," Gina informed her, recapturing her attention. "Do you wanna be around for it?"

   Carol got to her feet, taking her cup over to the sink and washing it quickly. "Probably not. I don't want her trying to gauge my reaction just yet. She still thinks I'm fragile, and the longer we can keep that going, the better. I'll stay upstairs unless she requests to see me. Just tell her I was asleep when you got home."

   "Yep."

   Stopping by her chair, she touched Gina lightly on the head. It felt nice.

   "Are you okay?"

   "I'm fine," she reassured her, giving her a quick smile.

   The older woman left without saying any more, and Gina sat with her coffee, drinking it slowly as she waited.

   It was dark for real when the rain finally stopped, and Gina saw a figure approaching through the window. She rose out of the chair, opening the door before Cleo could knock on it, letting her in.

   Cleo went straight into the kitchen, sitting at the table as Gina followed behind her.

   "Coffee?"

   "Yes, thanks," Cleo replied, sitting in the chair that Carol had occupied earlier. "Where's Carol?"

   "She was asleep when I got home, and I didn't want to wake her, so I just let her be."

   Gina shuffled to the coffee maker, brewing up another pot before carrying it to the table with sugar and creamer, setting out a clean mug.

   "I'm sure you're wondering who that guy was," Cleo said casually, pouring herself some coffee, keeping her eyes down.

   Gina sat down again, touching up her own drink when Cleo let go of the pot. "I'm assuming he's a prisoner of some kind if he was trying to escape."

   "And does that bother you?"

   "Not much bothers me anymore," Gina replied, which was almost true. Using people just for procreating unnerved her, but she wasn't about to let Cleo in on her feelings. "If he's locked up, I'm guessing you have a reason. Did he kill someone or something?"

   Cleo stared at her, her green eyes trying to bore into Gina, and she met her eyes, holding her own.

   "In a way," Cleo finally said, stirring her drink without breaking eye contact. "We have several prisoners, and they're all men."

   "Okay..."

   "All of them are from communities that my women have come from."

   Gina put a look of confusion on her face, playing dumb.

   "Every woman here has a story similar to yours. They were attacked, beaten, raped, or held against their will," Cleo told her, her gaze losing focus as she spoke. "I can't allow them to live in fear once they've found me. I've sworn to myself that I'd make the world a safer place. And it will only be safe when all of those kinds men are dead."

   The air lingered between the two as Gina pushed her cup away, bringing Cleo's gaze back to her.

   "I lead my women into their old camps, and we kill these men. The ones who think nothing of treating women like dirt, like pieces of property. And the men that stood by and did nothing get brought here."

   She stood up, walking around the table in a slow circle, making a show of her power, Gina assumed.

   "Does that bother you?"

   "I don't know," Gina answered, trying to sound truthful. "I'm not an idiot, and I've been alive too long to not know what men are capable of. But I won't lie to you and tell you that I think all men are evil. A good amount that are still alive, sure. But not all of them."

   Cleo continued to walk in slow circles before coming up behind her and placing her hands on Gina's shoulders. Her hands were warm, and they dug in slightly as she leaned over, putting her face next to Gina.

   "The only reason these men are alive is because they never actually assaulted my people. But they can't be left to their own devices. Idle hands are the devil's tools, they say."

   Gina could feel Cleo's breath on her cheek as she bent her head, and their cheeks were almost touching. "They'll never be set free. Never get the chance to hurt us, that I can promise you."

   She froze as Cleo leaned in, kissing her softly on the cheek.

   Releasing her, she ran her hand along the back of Gina's neck, sending a shiver down her spine and leaving a tingling sensation on her skin.

   "The only freedom we allow them is sex. They're all available to any woman. There are only a few that are promised to certain members of our community. If you feel so inclined, you can treat yourself to a good fuck," she said with a smile that made Gina's stomach turn to ice.

   She bit her lip as she tried to come up with the right thing to say. Cleo was a fucking psycho, but in her mind, she thought that this arrangement was okay, and it was far from it.

   "I'll be honest with you, Cleo," she said, her face turning pink even as she tried to remain calm. "I miss sex. I miss having a man in my bed. But I don't know if I could share a man with anyone else here, even if it was just fucking."

   "Like I said," she answered lightly, resuming an easy tone. "Some of the men are for one woman only, and since you did me a service today, I'll take you over there tomorrow and show you our stock. If you find one that isn't already claimed, you can have him."

   A slow smile spread across Gina's face. A grateful smile. Hopeful.

   "Thank you."

   "Do you think Carol would have a problem with this?"

   Gina frowned lightly, letting her lips drop down.

   "Carol is fragile. She's been through a lot," she admitted, turning her cup around with the tip of her index finger before looking up. "But she's also adaptable. Most women who've been abused are. I'm not saying she'll ever partake, but I don't think it will traumatize her."

   "Good," Cleo said, getting to her feet again. "I'll come by tomorrow morning and take you over."

   Gina got up, trailing behind her as Cleo strode to the door. She opened it, turning back suddenly and taking Gina by the chin, stroking the sides of her face with her fingers.

   "I like you," she murmured, leaning in and kissing her lightly on the lips. "I think you'll do very well here."

   With a wink, she walked out into the dark, moving languidly down the driveway. Gina shut the door quietly, wiping her mouth as she turned the lock, leaning her head against the wood. This bitch is fucking loco.

   Taking the steps two at a time, she burst into Carol's room, making her jump as she sat up straight.

   "I'll be getting into the building tomorrow," she said, dropping down on Carol's bed with a disgusted sigh.

   "What did she say? Tell me everything."

   Gina told her, watching as she got more repulsed with every word. "I get to pick my own man if I want," she said dully, pulling the sleeves of her sweatshirt down over her hands, feeling cold again. "And the bitch kissed me."

   "I think I'm going to actually enjoy killing her," Carol said, rubbing her face as she let out an involuntary shiver. "Who fucking brings someone around to pick out a man like a piece of fruit?"

   "I'll hold her off, tell her none of them appeal to me, but if I want access to them continually, I'll have to think of something. I need to see what we're dealing with first."

   Carol's eyes closed for a moment, and when they reopened, she rubbed her tattoo, her finger moving slowly over the petals that were still healing.

   "Did she say anything about me? Am I supposed to know any of this?"

   Gina stood up, tired all of a sudden. "I told her you'd probably never go in there, but that you'd be fine. She seemed to accept that."

   "Good. I'll be meek Carol, but also accommodating Carol."

   "Just be prepared to be the real Carol when we find out everything."

   "You know I will."

   Exiting the room, Gina went straight to her bed, crawling under the covers fully clothed. She could still feel Cleo's lips on hers, and she fell asleep eventually, dreaming of men in chains, reaching out for her with dirty hands, all of them claiming they loved her.


	92. Chapter 92

**Negan**

 

   He'd had the same dream three nights in a row. A fucking nightmare, really.

   He had Tina bent over the couch, fucking her from behind, and Gina would walk in right as he was moaning out her name. He'd look up, and she'd be watching him, giving him a cold look, a pained look. Like she knew he'd do it. She knew that he'd screw her over and hurt her again. She'd turn to walk away, and he'd try to chase after her, but his legs wouldn't move. Tina would laugh in victory, and he'd wake up in a cold sweat.

   When he woke up on the third night, he nearly had a fucking heart attack when he saw a small body next to him on the bed, buried under the covers. His heart was working overtime as he turned on the lamp, only to find out it was Casey. She'd apparently crawled into the bed in the middle of the night, curling up on Gina's pillow.

   Lurching from the bed, he went into the bathroom, splashing his face with cold water, gazing at his reflection in the mirror. He was a pig. A cheater. And he couldn't even be faithful in a goddamn dream.

   He sent Tina away the night she tried to seduce him and hadn't seen her since, but he kept dreaming about her. And not Gina. The actual woman he loved. Disgusted with his own reflection, he turned off the light, slipping out of the room as Casey let out a deep, sleepy breath. The moon was still high overhead as he went into the kitchen, taking out a bottle of whiskey and carrying out to the dock after putting on his jacket, sitting down at the edge.

   Gina always liked to come out here, sitting for hours when he went to bed. He never understood why, until she left and he was alone with the kids. By the time he got them settled and put into their beds, he was fried, feeling like he was failing upwards. They were reasonably happy, well fed and adjusting to being with him exclusively, yet he felt like he was ruining them somehow. That if he was all they had to look up to, they'd be doomed forever.

   Untwisting the cap, he took a large swig, listening to the water as it swelled up against the dock, waves rolling onto the sandy shore underneath. It was a fucking lonely sound, and he thought it was fitting. A year in a cell in Alexandria, and he never felt as alone as he did since she left.

   Falling in love with her left him weak and vulnerable. He was as helpless as Mikey, and it pissed him off. Negan didn't want to be defenseless, dependent on her for his happiness. But he didn't have the slightest clue what to do about it. How to get back the best of himself before she came along. He didn't want to be without her, but he needed to get some semblance of strength back, some machismo.

   Getting to his feet, he stuck his hand in his pocket as he walked back to the house, his fingers closing on a piece of paper that was folded up in there. He pulled it out, scanning it in the dark as he approached the back door. It wasn't his, and he could see scribbled writing on it.

   Setting the bottle down haphazardly, he leaned over the sink, scanning the note under the nightlight. It was from Gina.

_Negan,_

_Hopefully, you find this. There were so many things I couldn't say to you before I left, but I want you to know how much I love you._

_I plan on making my way home again, but if I don't, I never want you to doubt how much you've meant to me and that you are a good man. From that first day in the basement until our last night together, I never knew that I could love anyone as much as I love you, Michael, and Casey. You're my legacy._

_No matter what we've been through, we've done it together, and I know it hurts you that you couldn't do this for me. For us. But now it's my turn to take the risk, to make sure that everything we've built together doesn't come crashing down around us._

_I didn't make the decision to leave without careful consideration, no matter what you may think, and I knew that if I gave you any notice, you'd talk me out of it. But I can't lose you or the kids._

_I love you. I'll never be able to say it enough. I love you._

_You were the best thing to ever happen to me. Believe it always. Believe in me._

_Gina_

 

   He read it over and over, the sick feeling growing in his gut. He should have never let her go. The alcohol churned in his stomach as he folded up the letter, holding it gingerly as he tossed his jacket on the table, carrying upstairs.

   The baby was sound asleep, curled up in the middle of the crib, and Casey was still in their bed, though she'd moved closer to his side. Negan set the note down on her dresser, running his finger across it one more time before crawling back onto the bed.

   Casey inched over towards him, reaching out in her sleep, and he cradled her to his chest, kissing the top of her head. He didn't have a fucking clue what to do, how to fix the mess that their lives had become.

   The next morning, he was on autopilot as he got the kids dressed, making them breakfast as they sat in the dining room. He fed Mikey, vaguely aware that Casey was only pushing the cereal around in the bowl, never scooping any up.

   "What's on your mind little darlin'?" he asked, wiping the baby's face as she kept her eyes down. She didn't respond, so he tried again. "I can't help you if you don't talk to me."

   With a shuddering sigh, she climbed down from her chair, coming to stand next to him as Michael reached out for her, babbling at a high pitch.

   "Mom promised to teach me to fight and shoot before she left," she said, watching him warily with her wide eyes.

   "She did?"

   Nodding her head, she ran her fingers through her curls, twisting them around and around. "She said she'd tell you and you'd both teach me to be able to take care of myself."

   "Casey," he began, but she took a step forward, gazing up at him.

   "She promised," she insisted. "She didn't want me to be afraid anymore, and I want to be like her. I want to be brave."

   Negan pulled her up onto his lap, ignoring her attempts to free herself. He didn't want her to grow up, he realized suddenly. He didn't want her to have to struggle in life, fighting walkers and fending off dangerous people. People like him.

   "Okay," he conceded, his voice gruff as she stopped struggling. "Go brush your teeth and get your shoes on. We'll take Mikey to Ronnie's house and I'll start teaching you. But you have to listen to everything I say," he told her, turning her face towards his, wanting her to take every word he was saying seriously. "This isn't a game and guns aren't toys."

   She rolled her eyes, clucking her tongue. "Mom already told me. I know."

   He chuckled, struck my how many of Gina's mannerisms she'd picked up. She was really their daughter, no matter how she came into their lives.

   Casey climbed down, scuttling off as he got the baby the rest of his cereal, cleaning him up and getting him into his coat. She came down quickly, and he had half a mind to send her back up, positive she did a shit job brushing her teeth, but he let it go.

   With Mikey in his arms and Casey at his side, the three left the house, walking to Ronnie's instead of Tina's house, with Casey chattering a mile a minute the entire way. She hadn't questioned why Tina wasn't taking care of them anymore, which left him slightly puzzled, but he decided not to look a gift horse in the mouth.

   Ronnie was pleased to see them, giving the baby kisses as he handed him off, mildly surprised that Casey wasn't going to stay, but she didn't question it.

   Taking the little girl by the hand, he led her towards the armory by the gates, noting that she gripped his hand tighter as they got closer to the walls.

   Chuck was standing guard, and he walked forward to greet them as Negan explained what he needed. If Chuck had any reservations, he didn't show it, retreating to the house and returning with a .22 rifle and a box of shells, handing over with a quick smile to Casey.

   "You're a smart girl," he told her. "Be brave and listen to your dad."

   She nodded seriously, looking quizzically at the rifle as he led her towards the gates. They walked in silence to his old street, which was still brightly colored from the paintball wars that took place over there. He should've gotten one of the paintball guns instead, he thought before soldiering on.

   After making sure it was empty, he held it out to Casey, who took it gingerly, looking at him with both fear and excitement. Getting down on one knee, he went over it thoroughly, showing her every part of it, and let her practice holding it and pressing the trigger and working the safety before teaching her how to load it.

   He had to admit, he thought that she would chicken out, but her determination to learn everything filled him with a sense of pride. She was taking this to heart, and she showed proper respect to the weapon in her hand.

   Once the weapon was ready to fire, he took it from her, leading her over to one of the fences that surrounded the little home in the middle of the street, ordering her to stay put while he set up a target. It was just a mailbox across the way, but he went over to inspect it to make sure that it was sturdy enough.

   After firing a few times himself to test her fear and reaction to the sounds, he got behind her, helping her to hold it properly. It kicked back slightly the first time she shot, and it scared her briefly, but she insisted that she was okay.

   His baby was shooting a gun. Negan was full of mixed emotions as she continued to fire, getting closer to hitting the target each time. All he ever wanted was to keep the people he loved protected so that they never had to be in danger. Now Gina was gone, and he had no idea if she was even still alive, and his little girl was shooting a rifle, looking determined and almost enjoying it.

   "Okay darlin'," he said, taking the rifle as she pouted at him. "That's enough for today."

   "But, why? Aren't I doing good?"

   "You're a natural," he praised her, watching as her eyes lit up. "But I don't want to overdo it. Your arms might get sore. We'll keep practicing, I promise."

   Unexpectedly, she threw her arms around his neck, hugging him tightly as he set the rifle down, facing away from them.

   "Thank you, daddy," she said, kissing him on the cheek. "I feel so much better."

   A rush of emotion tore through his heart as she clung to him. Casey was happy, and she felt some sense of control over her circumstances. The powerlessness of Gina leaving her was being replaced by a confidence that Negan envied. She was sure that she'd be able to protect herself, and he vowed to himself that she wouldn't have to for a long time.

   By the time they got back behind the gates, he felt his spirits rise just a bit. Casey was happy, Michael was happy, and he had a hand in that.

   Of course, that feeling disappeared as soon as Talia came barrelling towards him, telling him in a breathless voice that Rick was gone.

   Motherfucker. It never ends.

 

**Gina**

 

   Carol swatted at her as she continued to pace around the kitchen, too wound up to sit down.

   "You'd better not act this unhinged when she gets here," she warned Gina, tired of watching her stomp around like a madwoman.

   "I won't. But excuse me if the thought of visiting people we know in a secure brothel doesn't sit well with me," she snapped on her third pass by Carol's chair.

   "We're all disgusted by it," Carol reminded her in a sharp voice. "That's why we're here. Just take a deep breath. You getting in there is one of the last things we needed to do. We're getting closer to getting the fuck out of here."

   Gina finally sat down, drumming her fingers on the table, ignoring Carol's glare as they waited. Twenty minutes later, there was a knock on the door, and Carol rose, answering it.

   Cleo came in, walking with a measured pace as she looked at Gina. She gave the leader a brief smile, asking if she wanted something to drink, but Cleo declined.

   "I assume you know what's going on?" she asked Carol, whose hands fluttered nervously to her neck.

   "I do," she replied, little red splotches forming on her skin as Cleo continued to evaluate her. "I'm not interested at this time, but I know you'd never do anything to put us in danger, especially Gina."

   "I won't," Cleo confirmed, resting her hand on Carol's shoulder. "These men are under our control, and I'd never let them hurt any of you."

   Carol visibly relaxed, giving Cleo a wondering smile as Gina rose from her seat. "I thank God every day that you found us."

   Gina wasn't sure if Cleo was buying it or not, but she started for the door after giving Carol a quick hug. "I'll see you tonight."

   Whispering a goodbye, Carol retreated to the kitchen, her face impassable as Gina and Cleo went to the door. They walked in silence down the street at a leisurely pace, and several people waved to Cleo, giving her adoring smiles.

   "Is she for real?" Cleo finally questioned, looking at Gina out of the corner of her eye.

   "Yep," Gina said. "She's a study in duality," which was the truth. "She's fragile and strong at the same time. Carol is unique, but she can stand up when it really counts."

   Cleo grunted lightly, and Gina wasn't sure if that was a good thing or a bad one. They rounded the bend, turning down the back road and her heart started to thump as the building came into view. It was white, gleamingly so, with a large metal door that was unattended. Maybe three stories high, it sat alone in the compound with nothing around it, not even shrubbery.

   She let Cleo take the lead, following behind her as they got closer. There weren't any sounds coming from the building, and she had the disturbing thought that this was a trap, that maybe Cleo was taking her here to kill her. Reaching to her side for a gun that wasn't there, she clenched her fists as they got closer.

   When they got to the door, Cleo knocked four times, stepping back a pace as a lock was turned. The door was opened by a young woman with curly brown hair and an assault rifle, peering out with suspicion until she saw that it was Cleo. Her face relaxed immediately, and she stepped aside to let them in.

   "This is Heidi," Cleo said, waving to the young woman. "Meet Gina. She's one of the new ones we picked up last week. She's also the one that found Ben."

   "Pleased to meet ya," Heidi said, letting her gun drop to the side as she extended her hand, shaking Gina's briefly. "Good work."

   Gina smiled before finally taking a look around.

   The middle of the warehouse was completely empty, and there were cells built all around the sides of the building. The metal bars were sturdy, and all of them had curtains that could be pulled closed in front of them, though some of them were wide open. There had to be at least two dozen of the prisons, and she tried not to show her revulsion as she let her eyes wander.

   "Bring some out," Cleo ordered, and Heidi nodded once, starting down the left side of the building. Pulling a large key ring from her belt, she opened the first cell, running her gun along the bars as it made a metallic clink, echoing through the large space.

   "Rise and shine," she called out, taking a step back. "We got company. Put on your best face, Don."

   Gina's chest started to tingle as a man stumbled out, clearly nervous. He was wearing green scrubs, and his hands and feet were shackled together, preventing him from any major movement. Maybe in his late thirties, he had sandy brown hair, but she couldn't tell what color his eyes were since she was still a good several feet away.

   His mouth dropped open when he saw them, and he straightened out his frame, situating his hands down in front of him. Cleo grinned at him as Heidi moved down the row, opening up three more cells. Each man that stepped out was wearing the green scrubs, and Gina deduced that these were the men that weren't explicitly spoken for.

   The first cell on the right side that Heidi opened up brought her the sight of Aaron, and her throat closed up involuntarily as he caught sight of her. His face was pure terror, and she tried to will him into submission with her mind as Cleo took a step forward.

   Three more men joined him in line on the right side. There were eight men in total that were unclaimed, and Eugene was one of them. He was still pudgy, but someone had cut his mullet, and he cowered in line, never making eye contact with her.

   "See anything you like?" Cleo purred, causing Gina to jump slightly.

   "Um, can I get closer?" she asked, fingering the collar of her shirt.

   "Sure," Cleo told her, waving her off.

   Not wanting to draw any attention to the people she knew, she started with Don, approaching him slowly as Heidi watched, her gun ready to fire.

   Feeling like a creep, she looked him up and down, noting that he was trembling slightly. He was nice looking, and she bit her lip as she moved on, trying to appear nonchalant. The next man in line was not as attractive, but he smiled at her with encouragement, making her skin crawl. Gross.

   The third and fourth she bypassed quickly, trying to seem like they weren't her type at all. She could feel Cleo watching her, her eyes burning into her skin. Passing Eugene, she gave him a slight smile, pleased when he didn't react. Hopefully, he was figuring out why she was here.

   She saved Aaron for last, aware that Cleo had made her way closer. Gina reached out, running her thumb along his cheek as he flinched back. Trying to communicate with him using only her eyes, she pulled at a few tufts of his hair.

   "This one's cute," she observed, looking at Cleo when she came to stand next to her. "Really cute. Why isn't he taken?"

   "He has trouble performing," Cleo said in a bored voice. "Can't get it up or keep it up. I'm not sure which."

   "Oh," Gina replied, dropping her hand, trying to project disappointment, instead of pity. Clearly, they didn't know he was gay, and poor Aaron wasn't going to tell them, sure it would bring about his death. "Jesus would be sad about that."

   Aaron's head snapped towards her as she dropped her gaze. She was reasonably sure that he got the hint. Cleo snorted as Gina grinned at her, shrugging.

   "Well, none of them are really jumping out at me, if you know what I mean."

   "Pity," Cleo murmured, looking her up and down.

   "Do we ever get fresh ones in?" Gina inquired with a glint in her eyes. She was sick to her stomach, but Cleo seemed pleased with her question.

   "Mmmhmm," she said with a flick of her wrist, sending Heidi towards the line of men, ordering them back into their cages. "Usually every week or so we find a lone man, or one or two around our territory. If they're decent looking, we bring them back to be checked out."

   Before Gina could reply, a large roar sounded through the air, sending her bumping into Cleo's chest, and the other woman steadied her.

   "What the fuck was that?" she wheezed, looking around as the men retreated behind the metal bars.

   Without waiting for an answer, she took off towards the back of the building, ignoring Cleo's calls as she slipped through the open door along the wall. There was one more cell, and it housed Shiva, who was pacing in the small room, letting out angry roars as she moved. The metal bars that contained her were set closely together, and Gina approached the cat without thinking, dropping to her knees as the animal let out a guttural growl. Thankfully, the feline would be unable to do any more than get one claw on her.

   "Shiva," she breathed, watching in surprise as the tiger turned its gaze on her, loping forward. They were face to face as Gina raised up on her knees, extending her hand to the bars, palm out. "Shiva," she whispered again in a quiet voice.

   She was beautiful. Stunning, and she was wasting away in this cage. The cat's eyes closed as she leaned forward, letting Gina run her fingers along her forehead, stroking her in wonder. Holy shit.

   Letting out a deep purr, Shiva opened her eyes, suddenly letting out a growl as Gina scrambled back, crab-walking away from her until she bumped into something. Looking up, she saw that it was Cleo, who yanked her to her feet.

   She continued to roar, pawing at the bars as Cleo's fingers gripped her arms, digging into them painfully.

   "Don't ever fucking run away from me again," she barked, her face red.

   "I'm sorry," Gina squeaked, going limp in her hold. "I don't know what came over me, I really don't."

   Cleo's jaw clenched as she let go of her, pushing her slightly.

   "You have a tiger," she exclaimed, turning back around to the cage. "How in the hell did you get a tiger?"

   "We took her from one of the communities," Cleo said shortly, watching the cat as she began to pace again. "I thought she'd be a good weapon, but no one can control her."

   "Oh," she muttered, taking another step forward until she felt Cleo pull her back.

   "I'm thinking about just putting her out of her misery."

   "Oh, no," Gina protested, unable to stop herself. "You can't."

   "Excuse me?" The voice was chilly and so was the woman it came from.

   "I'm sorry," she apologized, treading carefully. "I just think that would be a shame. Look at everything she's survived. She's like us," Gina insisted, her voice taking on a pleading tone. "She's meant to be here."

   "She?"

   Damn, she fucked up. Gina had no way of knowing it was a she. Trying to feign confidence, she scrambled to regain her verbal footing as she studied the cat.

   "I'm guessing it's a she. I don't see any balls."

   Cleo appeared to buy it, and they stood shoulder to shoulder for a moment, listening to Shiva howl, back to pacing at a frantic gait.

   "Let's go," Cleo finally ordered, waiting for Gina to move first.

   When they reemerged into the main area of the warehouse, she noticed that all of the men were back in their cells. She let Cleo take the lead again as they made their way to the front, and Heidi held open the door, looking at Gina curiously.

   Neither one spoke until they got back near the greenhouses, and Gina apologized again before going to work.

   "I'm really sorry," she said, fumbling with her hands. "I won't defy you again."

   Cleo took a few steps forward, leaning down into her face with a grin. "You're forgiven on two conditions."

   Gina's eyebrows folded together as she watched her in confusion. "Okay," she replied uncertainly.

   "One is that you start helping Heidi care for the cat. You're the first one she's ever let near her, so maybe you can get her under some sort of control. The man that had her was able to get her to walk on a leash. I'm not saying she'll ever leave the cage," Cleo assured her as her eyes widened in fear. "I'm just saying if you can get her calmed down a little, maybe we can figure out a way to use her."

   Gina nodded faintly, fighting the urge to back up as Cleo came even closer.

   "The second is that you have dinner with me tonight."

   "You know I'm not gay, right?"

   "Everyone's a little gay," Cleo joked, licking her lips. "Besides, it's just dinner. I want to get to know you."

  Goddamn it.

  "What time?"

   Cleo stepped back, running her hand through her bangs, sweeping them back off her forehead. "Come over around seven."

   "I'll see you then," Gina told her with a smile, waving as she turned towards the greenhouse.

_What the fuck was she getting herself into now?_


	93. Chapter 93

  
   Gina could hear music as she trudged up the steps to Cleo's house, dreading the evening. She was tired of being on all of the time, tired of lying, and tired of acting like this place was normal. It was wearing on her heart and soul, and she wanted to go home. Back to her normal life, with her own damaged, crazy family that she understood. But she had to compartmentalize that once again as she balanced on the mile-high tightrope that was Cleo.

   Part of the reason she was drained was Carol's reaction to finding out Shiva was alive and well. When Gina told her that Shiva was in the men's building, she burst into tears, the first real feelings she'd shown since they left the townhouse with Ivy.

   "Can you get me in to see her?" she rasped, her shoulders shaking with grief and emotion as Gina held her hand.

   "Of course. Just give me a day or so to get a read on Heidi."

   "Thank you."

   Gina gave her a gentle smile. "For what? I didn't do anything."

   "I"m..." she stammered, keeping her eyes down. "I'm just glad I'm not here alone."

   Impulsively, Gina leaned forward, hugging her tightly. "Me, too."

   Now, the mask was back on for both of them. As Gina was walking out the door for dinner, Ivy was approaching their house to visit with Carol. Waving at her as they passed each other, she headed towards Cleo's, ambivalent about what was going to come.

   She knocked twice, secretly hoping that Cleo couldn't hear her and she could go back home, but the door opened, and Cleo was in front of her, smiling with a drink in her hand. Stepping to the side, she motioned for Gina to come in, and she stood in the foyer, willing herself to stay sharp.

   Cleo was dressed in black slacks and an off the shoulder red top. For once, she was wearing makeup, and Gina had to admit that she was gorgeous. She possessed a confidence that Gina envied in that moment, a sister twin to Negan. Both of them knew they were attractive, not that Gina thought she herself was ugly. But the both of them also fed on the attentions of others, elevating their egos to proportions that were unsustainable. The only difference between Cleo and Negan was that he was changed, affected by love and a sense of morals that had eluded him for so long after the fall. As far as she could tell, the woman in front of her could never change. She'd been too damaged by God knows what.

   "Come on in," Cleo said, passing her on her way towards the dining room. There were two place settings, and the smell of food cooking filled the room. Gina followed behind her, taking a seat at the large dining room table as Cleo poured her a glass of wine.

   "I hope you like stir fry," she told her, heading into the kitchen with her drink.

   "I do," Gina replied, taking a large gulp. The wine was sweet and easy to put down, for which she was thankful. Her first instinct was to drink it quickly, but it would dull her senses, leaving her vulnerable for the questions that were surely coming. With a tinge of regret, she set the glass down, taking advantage of the time alone to steal a look around.

   There was nothing outstanding about the dining room, except for a picture that sat discreetly on the sideboard table. It was a small frame, and Gina leaned forward to see who was in it. The picture was wrinkled, tattered around the edges. Squinting, she could make out Cleo with her arms around a man, but who he was, she didn't have a clue.

   "My husband," Cleo remarked, causing Gina to jump. She hadn't realized she'd returned, and she set down a large platter, filled with rice and vegetables, still crackling with oil.

   "I didn't realize you were married," Gina said, surprised.

   "Why? Because I've been hitting on you?"

   "Yes."

   "I dont think of myself as gay or straight," Cleo told her with a shrug. "When I see something I like, or someone, I pursue them."

   It was matter of fact, and most likely true, not that Gina gave a shit about someone else's sexuality. It was their own business. She just didn't want anything to do with Cleo.

   "What about you? Other than John, the asshole you killed, did you have anyone special in your life?" she inquired, taking the seat across from Gina.

   "I had a husband."

   Cleo took the serving spoon, dishing out a portion onto Gina's plate before serving herself the same amount.

   "Tell me about him," she commanded, giving Gina a look that seemed both interested and like she was fishing for more about Gina's past.

   Picking up her fork, she took a bite before wiping her mouth. "He was beautiful," she said, the sadness in her voice nearly strangling her. "He was tall, with black hair and brown eyes. A voice like heaven, and he was my everything."

   Mimicking her movements, Cleo speared a piece of broccoli, chewing on it slowly as Gina ate another bite. "Before or after everything went down?"

   "After. He saved my life."

   "How?"

   "I was overpowered by a group of men," Gina began, pushing the food in a circle on her plate. Reliving it felt wrong, but it was true, and she could use it to prey on Cleo's prejudices. "His group saw me being taken into the house, and he came in and rescued me. He saved me in every sense of the word. It took me a long time to realize that I loved him, but we had something that I'll never forget. It's something that can't ever be taken away."

   Lifting her eyes, she saw that Cleo was irate. "This is why men can't be allowed to be left to their own devices. Because that's what they do when there aren't any more rules, or consequences."

   "Surely you don't believe all men are evil? My husband wasn't. I'm assuming yours wasn't either."

   "And that's why they're dead. All the good men are gone, and the pieces of shit have inherited the earth," she said, slamming her fork down on the plate. She glared at Gina with malice, and her eyes were icy, devoid of any warmth whatsoever.

   "I'm sorry," Cleo apologized after a charged moment. "I've just seen too much, heard too much from the women here to think otherwise." Her cheeks were flush as she leaned back in her chair, running her finger across her bottom lip as she watched Gina.

   "It's fine," Gina assured her, giving her a quick smile. "I'm not denying that there are sick people roaming around. I just hope that civilization will come back from the brink, or else what's the point of going on? Why even continue?"

   "Well, we can't depend on the men in this world to take responsibility. We have to make sure that they fall in line, and if it takes imprisoning them, then so be it."

   She didn't have a response to that, choosing to concentrate on her food. Was this all that was left? Trading one monster for another, over and over? It left a pit in her stomach and a pain in her heart. That couldn't be what she was leaving for her kids to navigate for the rest of their lives. It wouldn't.

   Amazingly, they were able to switch topics as Cleo transitioned to polite in a heartbeat, and it felt more like a job interview than a 'date'. Gina mixed in truth with lies as she told Cleo about being a social worker, changing the location to Georgia as she spit out details that she and Carol worked on. Cleo opened up as well, telling Gina that she was in the Army, serving for five years before the event, and Gina was able to suss out that her husband was also in the military.

   Her entire identity was defined by the military, and Gina sensed that it altered her view of life, both before and after the dead started to walk. It gave her the ability to lead, but also to impose her will on others, leaving no doubt about what she wanted to accomplish. Her community was a finely tuned machine, working towards Cleo's end game of structure and order. The only problem was, life wasn't structure and order, at least not anymore. It was messy and chaotic, and that was good, at least in Gina's eyes.

   So many wonderful things came with turning left instead of right. Taking the path that was unknown. It led her to Negan, to her kids and her self-created family, and to herself. She didn't want to follow someone else's orders for the rest of her life, and she sure as shit didn't want to wipe out people or subjugate them just because they could potentially be a problem. She wanted to take this woman out because she was already a problem.

   "Would you like some more?" Cleo inquired, pushing the platter towards her. Gina declined, taking it upon herself to clear the table. She carried the dishes into the kitchen, setting them on the counter as she started up the water, scraping the plates.

   She could feel Cleo behind her, and she had to work hard not to show it bothered her. Why this bitch wouldn't take a hint, she didn't know.

   "Do you know why I like you, Gina?" she asked, placing her hands on Gina's shoulders.

   Shaking her head, she kept washing the dishes, ignoring the trembling in her hands as she moved the washcloth in a circle.

   "You remind me a lot of me," she thrummed, her breath warming the side of Gina's neck. "I think, if you were more open to it, you'd enjoy it." She didn't have to elaborate.

   "But I won't push you."

   Gina's eyes closed, partly in relief, and partly in anger.

   "Thank you. I'm still adjusting."

   "Say no more," Cloe told her, retreating to the dining room and bringing the rest of the dishes in. She bustled around putting the food away while Gina finished washing, and when they were done, she motioned for Gina to follow her, handing her another glass of wine. They went down the long hallway by the stairs, past her office and into a large living room that was decorated in various shades of cream. It was nice, but it only made Gina think about her kids, and how they'd have it destroyed in under a day.

   There were a set of frosted double doors, and Cleo swung them open to reveal a gorgeous patio and a hot tub with the top off. Steam was rising from the water, and it was running, with bubbles popping as the waves swirled around in lazy patterns, while little fairy lights twinkled around the trellis that surrounded the area.

   "Come on," she directed, walking up the steps to the deck that surrounded it. "We'll stick our feet in."

   They sat across from each other again, and Gina let out a groan as she submerged her legs, hiking her pants up as high as they would go.

   "It's ridiculous and a waste of energy in this day and age," Cleo admitted with a grin, "but I just love it."

   "I don't blame you," Gina told her. "I'd probably live in it if that were an option. I love water."

   The conversation ebbed and flowed as they drained their glasses, with Gina still on defense, and when she glanced at her watch, she saw that it was after eleven. She'd been with Cleo for a few hours, and she was tired, drained from the mix of emotions she'd gone through during the day.

   "If you don't mind, I'm going to call it a night," she yawned, covering her mouth as she pulled her feet from the water. Cleo stayed where she was, stripping off her shirt and removing her pants as Gina looked away awkwardly. Sliding into the water, she made her way over to Gina's side of the hot tub, giving her a cheeky smile.

   "I'm sure you can find your way out, right?"

   "Oh, no problem," Gina said, picking up her wine glass. "Thanks again for dinner."

   "My pleasure. I'll see you tomorrow."

   "Good night."

   Turning abruptly, she stepped off the patio, taking her glass into the kitchen. When she went to the foyer to put her shoes on, the front door opened, and Hayley entered, searching the room with her eyes.

   "She's in the hot tub," Gina muttered, watching as Hayley studied her. Without a word, Hayley undressed in front of her, leaving her clothes in a pile by the door as she sauntered down the hall towards the patio.

   She'd seen enough, and Gina hot-footed it out of the house, walking rapidly back to her own home, feeling the need to take a shower. Her nerves were frayed, like they were exposed to fire, and it made her eyes start to water as she reached her room. Carol was already in bed, and she was relieved, in no mood to dissect the evening.

   Games, deceptions, and ploys. That's all that she could see, all she could decipher, and it was exhausting. Lying was killing a bit of her soul every day, and being alone in a web of deceit felt like falling down a hole, the light of truth and her sense of self fading away, getting smaller and smaller as it turned into a tiny pinprick, out of her reach.

 

   It wasn't until three days later that Gina was able to try to get Carol in to see Shiva. Heidi had kept her busy cleaning the cage and running errands when she wasn't with the gardening crew. The other thing that kept her from bringing her earlier was the food.

   The first time that she'd had to feed the tiger, she'd nearly fled, never to return. Heidi had led her out to the back of the property, where several large industrial refrigerators had been placed along the back wall, secured under a chain link enclosure that was held under lock and key.

   "Does she have a name?" Gina asked Heidi as she unlocked the door, pushing it open as it dragged along the concrete.

   "Cleo told me that she thinks the man who had her called her Sheba," Heidi said, stalking over to the middle fridge, removing another padlock. Gina nearly corrected her before literally putting her hand over her mouth to shut herself up. Sheba was pretty close.

   Lifting the handle, she swung the door open, and cool air filtered out as Gina peeked in, seeing tubs filled with meat. Heidi yanked one out, handing it to her with a slight shudder.

   "Where did you get all this fresh meat?" she asked, in no way ready for Heidi's answer.

   "You remember Ben, the guy who tried to escape?"

   "Yeah."

   Heidi made a face, waiting for Gina to connect the dots. When she did, she dropped the tub, backing up several paces. "Oh my God."

   Fighting the urge to vomit, she stood numbly as Heidi bent over, picking it back up and thrusting it into her hands.

   "Get over it," she said harshly, slamming the door to the fridge shut. "The fucking animal was eating people before we took her."

   "So you just kill people and chop them up?" It was too much, even for her.

   "If they're available," Heidi told her. "If not, then we just find her walkers and chop their heads off. She doesn't get sick from them."

   Following Heidi in a daze, they went back into the warehouse where Shiva was pacing, waiting for her meal.

   "I'll leave you to it," Heidi mumbled. "There's gloves over there."

   Pointing to a table, she retreated, closing the door behind her.

   Gina carried the tub over to the table, setting it down as she started to dry heave, the cat mewling all the while.

   "Give me a minute, Shiva," she begged, trying to get the gloves on her hands which were shaking so hard that they looked blurry to her. The cat stopped bleating, sitting down on her haunches as she waited.

   She approached the cage, stopping when she got about five feet away. Gagging as she picked up the first piece, she tossed it in, her stomach flipping as the tiger launched herself at it, ripping into it with a growl. Before she could think, Gina tossed the rest of the pieces in the cage before backing up and slamming into the wall with a huff. Sliding down to the floor, she tossed the gloves as she watched Shiva eat, unable to turn her head away.

   She just held another human being in her hands and fed them to a tiger. A quote from Shakespeare popped into her head, and she whispered it out into the cosmos.

    _"Hell is empty and the devils are all here."_

   Shiva looked up at her, licking her lips as the two watched each other.

   When Ben was gone, the tiger let out a rumble before rubbing herself along the bars. Gina didn't bother to rise, instead crawling over on her hands and knees. Once again, Shiva let her rub her head, her eyes opening and closing slowly as they sat face to face.

   "You'll be free soon, Shiva," she promised her. "And then you can get your own disgusting food."

   The cat snorted, spraying her with snot as gratitude, and Gina rubbed her face, thoroughly repulsed.

   "Thanks."

 

   The drill was the same every day. She'd come twice a day to feed Shiva, passing by all of the cells. Sometimes Aaron's curtains would be drawn, and other times they'd be open. She'd glance at him quickly, but didn't say anything and neither did he. Gina only saw one woman visit him and it had left her feeling so sorry for him that she wanted to bust in and break them up.

   It was Carol who kept her on track, reminding her of the bigger picture. Getting them out of there permanently. They just needed a way to get a message to their friends that were being held. She just wasn't sure how to do it with Heidi always visible around the cells.

   They got a break that they weren't looking for and weren't expecting the day she was going to bring Carol to see Shiva.

   Gina was there for her morning feeding, sweeping the cage out through the bars when Heidi opened the door, causing the tiger to let out a growl.

   "Hey, new girl," she called out, fixing her gaze on Gina with a grin.

   "You know my name," Gina snapped, pretending to unlock the cage.

   "Whatever. I just wanted to tell you Cleo's got two new guys in the courtyard. You better hurry up if you want to call dibs on either one."

  _Eww._

   Handing Heidi the broom, she walked out of the room, speeding past the cells as she hustled into the open air. There were several women heading in groups towards the courtyard where the greenhouses were, and as Gina got closer, she saw that Cleo was standing in the bed of the truck with a man on either side of her. Their faces were covered with burlap bags, and she pushed her way to the front of the crowd as Cleo smiled down at her.

   "Good morning, ladies," she called out, scanning the crowd that had gathered. "We have two to choose from today." There were roughly two dozen women surrounding the truck and the group seemed to ripple with excitement. Apparently, they didn't find anything wrong with handing over other humans like property.

   The two men were of average height, at least compared to Cleo, and their hands were tied behind their backs. One of them stood completely still, while the other was shaking in terror. Cleo jerked him forward, pulling off the sack.

   He was young, maybe no more than twenty, and he looked around with frightened eyes as the women evaluated him. He was filthy, with stringy brown hair, and his lips trembled as two women stepped forward, both wanting to claim him.

   Pursing her lips, Cleo made the decision, pointing to the first woman to speak up, and Gina noticed that there was a rope tied around the man's throat. He was jerked suddenly, nearly falling to his knees, and she saw that Ivy was standing behind the truck. She was the one holding onto the rope, and she led him to the tailgate, forcing him to jump down. The rope was handed over to the woman, and Nora stepped up, pointing a gun at the poor boy, following behind him as he was led towards the warehouse.

   She only tore her eyes away when she saw that Cleo was taking the bag off of the head of the second man.

   Gina had seen some shocking things in the short time she was here, but nothing compared to the face that appeared in front of her, and she stepped forward without hesitation, the urge to kill Cleo higher than it had ever been.

   "I want him."


	94. Chapter 94

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***Trigger Warning***  
> This chapter is disturbing, at least in my eyes. Cleo's group is frightening, and Gina has to do some things that she'd never do ordinarily. It involves implied rape, so if you are sensitive, please skip this chapter. I don't want to upset anyone, but this part of the story is dark. Again, at least to me.

  
   Gina stared into his blue eyes which never wavered from hers, never gave anything away until three more women spoke up, wanting him. Both of them broke the gaze as Gina glanced around to see who was challenging her. Two of the women she knew only in passing, and the other one was Maria. 

   Her jaw clenched automatically as Maria smirked at her, and she clenched her fists, ready to fight for him. No one was going to take advantage of her friend, that she was fucking sure of. 

   "Gee, you seem to be popular," Cleo observed, her voice carrying over the crowd as she pulled him forward slightly. "I think this calls for a special contest." Her eyes met Gina's, who smiled to hide her festering rage. 

   The other two women backed out, renouncing their claim as Ivy climbed up into the truck, taking the rope from Cleo as she hopped off the side, causing the crowd to back up. 

   "I told you no one gets hurt by men here," she said in a low voice as she took Gina by the shoulders, "but we do have spars here occasionally. You're under no obligation to compete, but since this guy seems to appeal to you, if you want to fight Maria for him, you're welcome to. Otherwise, I'll choose who he goes to, and that includes the other two who spoke up."

   Cleo's voice was reassuring, but her eyes told a different story. She wanted to test her, to see if she was as tough as she thought Gina was. And there was no way Gina was going to back down from Maria. She'd pushed her too much the first day they met. 

   "I'll fight," Gina replied, earning another smile and a nod from Cleo. A ripple of murmurs went through the crowd as they formed a circle, leaving her and Maria facing each other. 

   "First one to submit loses," Cleo announced, backing up. 

   She could feel several pairs of eyes on her as she undid her belt, tossing it aside. Maria did the same, and then they were circling each other. Gina refused to attack, preferring to defend herself until she knew how good Maria was. The woman was hot-headed, and she lunged first, her fist grazing Gina's shoulder as she turned to the side. 

   Before Maria could gain her footing, Gina kicked at her back, sending her stumbling as she retreated to the other side of the circle. Maria was on her feet immediately, and her face was red as she barrelled forward quickly, grabbing Gina by the hair as she swung again, this time catching her in the chest as she released Gina's hair. 

   The breath went out of her lungs immediately as she lurched back, sucking in a ragged breath, and Maria charged her, reaching for her waist. But Gina swept her legs out from under her, sending her onto her stomach. She got in a swift kick before Maria rolled away, and the both of them retreated, breathing heavily. 

   Neither one made a move, both sizing each other up as the crowd began to close in slightly, forcing them towards each other. In the back of her mind, Gina assumed that it was Cleo directing them, not wanting to see this dragged out, and as she glanced over at the truck, Maria surged forward, taking her by surprise. 

   She got her arms around Gina's neck, clutching her from behind as she began to cut off her air supply. Panic set in, the fear that she could lose, and she saw his blue eyes watching her again. They were soft, encouraging, and she pitched forward with a grunt, flipping Maria over her shoulder. She landed on her back, and before she could react, Gina dropped to her knees, bending her wrist as she hyperextended Maria's elbow. 

   "Submit," she growled, avoiding Maria's feet as she kicked out blindly. The smaller woman let out a cry but didn't acquiesce. 

   "Enough!"

   It was Cleo, and Gina dropped Maria's arm, scooting back as the two sat on the ground glaring at each other. The leader walked in between them, helping Maria to her feet before extending her arm to Gina, who hauled herself up, her chest burning. Cleo kept ahold of her hand, raising it above her head in a show of victory before walking back towards the truck, where Ivy handed her back the rope. 

   She tugged at it, forcing him towards the tailgate and he jumped down, landing on his feet securely as Maria walked past her, ramming her shoulder into Gina's. 

   "Watch your back, bitch," she muttered, stalking off as Gina ignored her. She could care less about Maria. She was focused on the truck as Cleo made her way over, handing her the rope with a grin. 

   "To the victor go the spoils," she said, winking at Gina before heading towards her house. The crowd followed behind her, leaving Gina, Ivy and her prize standing together. 

   "Come on," Ivy told her. "I'll take you over to the warehouse and get you set up." There was a teasing tone in her voice that irritated Gina, who yanked the rope roughly, sending him nearly stumbling to the ground. "Ooh, someone's wound up," she joked, glancing back over her shoulder. 

   "Yeah, you could say that."

   The rest of the trip was silent as Gina thought furiously about what the fuck she was going to do once she got him alone, how she was going to get out of not actually having sex with him. She had no idea how this process worked, having not really seen more than a woman or two enter the cells. 

   When they got to the warehouse door, it was already opened, and Heidi was waiting for them. She shook her head with a smirk as she saw Gina holding the rope, and she shut the door securely as Ivy led them towards the back of the building. On the opposite side of Shiva was a door with no sign on it, and she opened it, revealing a large bathroom with a shower. 

   "He can get cleaned up in here," Ivy explained, "and we'll get him some red scrubs."

   "I'll watch him while you get them," Gina said, holding out her hand for the gun. 

   "No fucking way," Ivy said, shaking her head. "I'm not leaving you alone with him."

   Gina kept her hand out, anger bleeding out through her face. "He's mine, and no one is going to be seeing him but me. He's my property."

   "Get over yourself. I have no interest in him."

   "I don't care," Gina said in the calmest voice she could manage. "I won him fair and square, and no one is going to see him."

   Ivy rolled her eyes, snorting under her breath. "If he kills you, don't expect me to take the blame for it." 

   She produced a key, unlocking the handcuffs from behind his back before walking to the door. "I'll be back in five minutes. He better be clean by then."

   The door closed with a slam, and Gina rushed towards him, slapping him across the face before throwing her arms around his neck. 

   "What the fuck were you thinking? Do you have any idea who many ways this could've gone wrong?"

   He hugged her tightly before pushing her back, shrugging out of his jacket. "I figured you could use a man on the inside." 

   Unbuttoning his shirt, he grinned at her. "Now look away."

   Gina stepped towards the wall, turning her head to the side. She had no interest in seeing Jesus shower, more terrified of what was going to happen next.

  
**Talia**

 

   Devin sat across from her as she thumbed through Gina's ledgers, counting up the numbers in her head. 

   "We're okay on grains and non-perishables, but we need to restock our vegetables. The greenhouses are keeping us afloat, but we won't have a good harvest from them for another month or so."

   "We're due to visit Arcadia again for our trade."

   "Good. I'd like to come with you," Talia said, looking up to see Devin watching her unhappily. "What?"

   His face blanched and he shifted uncomfortably in his chair. 

   "I'm just worried about what's happening at the enemy camp."

   "You're worried about Gina, you mean," she said with a sigh. This poor kid. 

   He seemed defensive when he responded, a slight flush creeping up his neck. "She's my friend."

   "Devin," she replied, leaning forward so that he'd look her in the eye. "I know you like her, but it's never going to happen. She's with Negan."

   "I don't," he insisted, the flush getting higher, but Talia kept talking.

   "You're not the guy for her. I mean this in the nicest way possible, but, she needs more than you'd ever be able to give her. She needs someone like Negan. Besides, you've got a good thing going with Tina. Don't screw that up."

   He still didn't know what happened between Tina and Negan, and looking at him right now, she didn't have the heart to tell him. She didn't know Devin all that well, but she had the sense that it would break him. Negan knew that Talia knew, but they never discussed it in detail. She just made a passing comment about how she overheard everything, and he had only nodded silently. 

   "We'll go tomorrow to Arcadia if that's all right with you," Talia said, closing the ledger. 

   "Fine." The answer was clipped and so was the voice. 

   Feeling guilty, Talia grabbed him by the arm as he tried to leave. 

   "I'm sorry, Devin. I am. I have a terrible instinct to pry and interfere, and I know it makes me unlikeable sometimes. It's my fatal flaw."

   He shrugged his shoulders, the color beginning to return to normal in his face. "I never liked you to begin with."

   She was taken aback until she saw the corners of his mouth to lift, and she offered him a smile. "Touche."

   They walked out together, and Talia headed to Ronnie's to pick up the kids. All of the kids. Carl was waiting there for her, sitting on Ronnie's porch with Judith, moving gently on the porch swing as Judith pointed to her. 

   "Taya," she shouted, bouncing up and down, her little cheeks pink with excitement. 

   "Hi, sweetie," she called out, kissing the top of her head as she knocked on the door. "Are you ready for dinner?"

   Carl stood up, shifting Judith onto his hip as Ronnie opened the door. She had Michael strapped in his chair and was just putting Evelyn into hers as she stepped in. Casey was zipping up her spring jacket, her hair falling down along her face as she concentrated on the floor. Her crush on Carl was still going strong, and Talia felt a twinge of guilt as she looked down at her. She needed her mom, just like Judith did. 

   "Everyone's good to go," Ronnie told her, breaking up her thoughts as Talia picked up Evelyn's carrier. Carl took Michael and started for their house as Talia held Casey's hand, and they thanked Ronnie before they left. 

   Before Rick took off, he explicitly forbade Carl to go out on the boat until he returned, and for once, Carl didn't argue with him. She thought that he understood the underlying seriousness with which his father spoke, and he'd been a huge help to her, especially when Daryl and Negan left later the same day to follow him. Rick was hellbent on getting more out of Sherry, and he wanted to know where Cleo's base was. 

   Talia was ambivalent about knowing, and she barely understood why at first. It hit her as she opened the door to her house. She'd lost her sister once. She didn't want to do it again, and if someone made it to Cleo's, they'd know for sure if she was gone or not. 

   Her hands shook as she unbuckled Michael first, setting him on the carpet as she took Evelyn into her arms. 

   "Are you all right?" Carl asked, watching her closely as she gave him a reassuring smile. 

   "I'm fine. Can you help me get the kids into their seats?"

   Carl picked up Michael, avoiding his grasping hands as they went into the dining room which was already set up for dinner. Ezekiel emerged from the kitchen wearing an apron and holding a covered dish in his hands. 

   "I took the liberty of fixing a meal," he announced, bowing to Casey who giggled. "I figured you'd have your hands full."

   "Oh, thank you," she breathed, sitting down in her chair with a grunt. Michael was antsy, waiting for his food, and Ezekiel sat down next to him, feeding him some peas as he cooed. She noticed that he was fond of the little boy, even though he looked so much like Negan, the man who caused him an inordinate amount of pain. 

   "My one regret was never having children," he murmured, spooning some more food for the baby as Talia returned with a bottle. "At first, when the world went to ruin, I was grateful, but now..."

   He gave her a sad smile before gesturing to Evelyn. "But I've been enriched in many other ways."

   "You're family," Carl mumbled, shoving a spoonful of food into his mouth. "These kids are a part of your life now."

   He of few words. But they always seemed to be the right ones. The only one who wasn't chattering was Casey, and she picked at her food until Talia swept her hair off of her shoulder. 

   "What's wrong, sweet pea?"

   The little girl refused to answer, climbing down from her chair and retreating to the living room. Talia considered going after her, but she let her be. She was probably thinking about Gina and Negan, and Talia was unsure of how to comfort her. There was no guarantee that her mom would return, and she wasn't up to lying to the girl. 

   After they got the kids fed, she and Ezekiel took them upstairs, getting them bathed one at a time before plopping them up in the living room, placing a movie on for them to watch as she rocked Evelyn to sleep. Ezekiel held Michael, doing the same as he spoke to him in his deep voice. The baby was entranced, watching him with wide eyes as he spoke, spinning him a tale about a prince who journeyed a far off land, fighting dragons and saving maidens. Eventually, his eyes drifted closed, and he carried him upstairs to Evelyn's room to put him to sleep. 

   Talia was just returning from putting her daughter and Judith down with Caey when the door opened, and Rick came stumbling in, bleeding from his head, followed by Negan and Daryl. 

   She rushed to the kitchen, returning with a cold towel as the group sat down at the table. Carl hovered by the doorway as she held the towel to Rick's head, ignoring his swears as she cleaned his forehead. 

   "Anyone care to tell me what happened?"

   "Well, Rick found out where the compound is," Negan retorted with barely concealed anger. 

   "But why is he bleeding?"

   Rick swatted her hand away, standing unsteadily. "Jesus knocked me out and stole the truck and the map before I could go there."

  
**Gina**

 

   "The chains get secured here," Ivy said, pointing to the hook above the bed, "and the leg shackles can be placed over each post at the foot of the bed."

   Gina nodded that she understood, shifting her weight from leg to leg. 

   "Oh, one other thing," she told her, pulling out a tiny cup from her pocket along with a little bottle of water. "In case he can't get it up."

   "What is this?"

   "Viagra."

   Jesus stood there impassively, his gaze flitting between the two women as he watched them converse. 

   "I don't need it."

   They were the first words he'd spoken in front of Ivy, and she looked at him derisively before stalking towards the cell door. After she shut it, she closed the curtains halfway as Gina called out her name. 

   "Can you turn on some music or something?"

   She snorted as she gripped the bars. "You're going to be monitored the first time anyway. What's the difference?"

   "Ivy, please," she sighed, letting some emotion come to the surface. 

   "You sure this is what you want?" she asked, sounding genuine. "You don't need to do this."

   "I do need this," Gina admitted. "I need some closeness from a man, even if it's not real."

   Ivy turned away after a moment, returning with a cd player that she plugged into an extension cord. "I'll stay back as far as I can."

   "Thank you."

   Soft music filled the room as she turned to face Jesus, who stood near the bed. She noticed that his breathing had kicked up a notch, and she leaned around him, pulling down the sheets before pushing him down on the bed, playing her part. He didn't resist as he stared past her towards the bars. 

   An overbearing sense of wrongness washed over her as she lifted his arms, looping the chain over the large metal hook that was bolted to the wall. She could feel Jesus watching her as she did the same to his legs, securing them tightly as she heard a chair being dragged towards the cell. 

   "I'm sorry," she whispered, her eyes filling with tears as she grabbed the drawstring on his pants, undoing them and sliding them down his legs as she avoided looking at him.

   The one saving grace was that with the curtains half-closed, the light was dim in the cells, shining in a long strip in the middle of the room. 

   She hurriedly covered him with the sheet before pulling off her shirt, choosing to leave her bra on. Not that it mattered. How was she going to do this? How could she?

   Her hands shook as she undid the button on her jeans, pushing them down her legs as the tears dripped from her eyes onto the floor after she kicked off her boots. _I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. To everyone._

   Before she could change her mind, she slipped off her panties, lowering the sheet as she straddled him. She could feel Ivy watching her as she pretended to grab him, pretended to stroke him as he let out a huff. The charade continued until she thought it was enough time to get him hard, and then she feigned inserting him inside her, making sure the sheet was covering her backside before securing it around her waist. 

   Slowly, she began to move up and down, feeling violated and violating. They weren't having sex, but their bodies were touching, and their sexes were as well. Gina leaned down to kiss his neck as he turned his head to the side. 

   "How did you get here?" she breathed, wiping at her eyes as he shifted his head to the side towards her. Her hips kept moving, brushing up against him, and he moved his body slightly, giving the appearance that he was working minutely with her. 

   "I followed Rick to the Sanctuary. He got directions here from the woman there. I knocked him out and stole them."

   She placed her hands on either side of his head and she sat up a little, not wanting to arouse suspicion. The music continued to play in the background and out of the corner of her eye she noticed as shadow appear. Someone else was watching them. The urge to stop moving bubbled up, but she pushed herself on, thrusting her body against his as a fresh wave of sadness and disgust washed over her. This could've been Rick. It could've been even worse than it already was. 

   The shadow shifted slightly and she bent down again, desperate to keep the lie going. Feeling like she had no choice, she sucked on his neck, and he let out a little moan, furthering the appearance that he might be enjoying this a little. If anything, a hickey would mark him as hers. 

   "It's the leader," he breathed, causing her back to stiffen. Of course, she'd come to watch. Of course. Gina picked up the pace, knowing that if she didn't, she'd come undone for sure. She had to get out of here. She had to get away. Before she straightened up, she spoke as fast as humanly possible.

   "Aaron's here. Eugene's here. I haven't seen anyone else. They've all been claimed. Shiva's in the back. I swear to God, I'll get you all out of here as soon as possible."

   "Just bring me a large bobby pin next time."

   She placed her hands on his bare chest, looking at him in confusion before lifting her gaze to the ceiling. Knowing that Cleo was still watching, she began to breathe heavily, bouncing up and down at a rapid pace as she faked getting closer to orgasm. 

   After another five minutes or so, she moaned loudly, her breath hitching in her throat as Jesus did her the favor of thrusting his hips up, pushing her up and down until she bent over him, her body shaking. 

   "I'm going to kill her slowly," she vowed before sliding off of him and pulling up his pants. The shadow disappeared as she was pulling on her clothes, and she undid his restraints before walking to the door. 

   "What's your name by the way?" she asked loudly as Ivy unlocked the door. 

   "Paul," he said in a hesitant voice, staring up at the ceiling just as she did moments before. 

   "Well, Paul, it was nice to meet you. Fair warning, the next time I visit, you better get harder a helluva lot faster," she declared coldly before stepping out. 

   Cleo was standing across the way, leaning against the cell directly across from her. 

   "Enjoy the show?" she smirked, raising an eyebrow as she died inside. Cleo smiled, walking over slowly as she ran her hands through her hair. 

   "I did."

   "He's cute. I like his big, blue eyes," Gina remarked, straightening out her shirt as she maintained eye contact with Cleo. 

   "For sure," Cleo purred, her eyes drifting towards Jesus' room. "It's too bad you don't share. I wouldn't mind having a go at him myself."

   "Yeah, too bad," Gina muttered. "Thank you for giving me this gift." _I'll be sure to repay you someday._

   "You earned it. Just don't come to me if Maria retaliates," she said, startling Gina. "That shit is settled between the two of you. I don't settle disputes over boys."

   Nodding shortly, she turned towards the door, striding towards it as if she didn't have a care in the world. By the grace of God, she made it home before she lost it, collapsing on the steps as Carol came rushing down. It was only midday, and she was wrecked, possibly for forever. 

   Carol helped her to her feet, guiding her to her room as Gina rushed into the bathroom, dry heaving over the toilet, though nothing would come out. 

   "Tell me what's happening," she begged, clearly unaware of what had transpired. 

   "I have to shower first. Please," she croaked, wiping her face as she spit into the toilet. 

   Carol retreated, leaving her on the floor. Gina could only reach out to the shower, turning it on as she stripped from her knees, tossing her clothes into the corner of the bathroom. She never wanted to wear them again. 

   It took her over twenty minutes to clean herself as she relived the entire morning in her head, apologizing to everyone. Jesus, Aaron, Negan, herself. God, she was so stupid for coming here. Naive for thinking she could make it out of here unscathed. 

   Afraid to look at her own reflection, she went out into the room to find clothes laid out for her. When she was dressed she crawled under the covers, staring out the window as the tears flowed unfettered down her face. 

   Carol returned with a large glass of whiskey, handing it to her before laying on the bed facing her. It reminded her of her times with Sherry, and in a shaking voice, she told her about everything. From finding out Jesus was one of the men that had been captured to fighting for him and pretending to rape him. Having Cleo watch their every move. Telling her that she was on her own if Maria came after her. 

   "I want to go home," she wheezed. "I know that makes me a coward in your eyes, but I'm sick down to my soul over this place. If I had a fucking bomb, I'd blow it to bits. I can't do this, Carol. I can't."

   "Yes, you can," she soothed, running her hands through Gina's hair. "The worst is over."

   Gina shook her head, but Carol kept talking. "Jesus knew what he was getting into when he came. He's not going to blame you for this. You know that. And now that you've done it once, you'll have access to him. You're going to get him whatever he needs and we're going to get the fuck out of here."

   "How?"

   "Leave that to me. I've got a plan."

   "What?"

   "We're going to pull a Gina."

  _Huh?_


	95. Chapter 95

  
   Twenty-seven days. Twenty-seven days and approximately six hours since she'd last seen her kids. Twenty-six days and fourteen hours since she'd lain in bed with Negan, listening to his heart beat steadily under her head, his breathing soft and even to her ears. 

   Now, she could barely bring Michael's face into her mind. He always melded into Cleo's face. He'd have green eyes staring angrily up at her. Casey was easier. Gina could see her heart-shaped face, looking hurt as Gina recalled her. Turning her face away from her. 

   Negan was the easiest of all. His black hair. Full lips. Brown eyes watching her warily as he backed away from her. None of them loved her anymore when she pictured them in her mind. They all shuddered away from her touch. Hated her for leaving and for what she'd done since she abandoned them. 

   "Earth to Gina. Come in, Gina."

   Her head flew up as she saw Nora standing over her, snapping her fingers. They were in a house about two hours from the base, and she was holding a stuffed penguin in her hands. They'd been sent out to ransack houses when she stumbled across a child's room, and it brought her to her knees, thoughts of her kids washing over her like waves. 

   "Sorry," she said, dropping the toy on the ground as she wiped her hands on her jeans. 

   "Come on. There's nothing in this house worth taking."

   She stood up, burying the grief down like she did every day. Placed it at the bottom of a never ending hole that went straight through her. 

   It was her second trip out of the compound, and since she'd been deemed capable of handling herself, she was free to go whenever she chose. Cleo had been impressed with her composure, especially when they'd been faced with a large group of walkers when they left the Hell on Wheels territory on her first trip out. Cleo had finally gotten around to telling her the name of her group, and Gina had worked overtime to not roll her eyes. 

   On her trial run, they were going through a medical center when they were caught by surprise by a herd. Fortunately, Cleo loved to carry a ridiculous amount of guns, and Gina took her place with the group, taking out a plethora of the undead. 

   When she holstered her weapon, she found Cleo behind her watching her appreciatively. 

   "I didn't know you could shoot so well."

   "I feel out of practice," Gina replied. "I never got to feel useful with our last group. The women were expected to wash clothes and keep the men fed. We weren't even allowed to have weapons."

   Cleo's face narrowed as she thought for a minute. 

   "And how did you and Carol get back at your men?"

   "Men have to sleep, you know? Same as us," she said with a grin. 

   She slung her arm around Gina's shoulders, leading her forward towards the first office. 

   "Come on. Let's clear this place." Her voice was genial as she pulled her along like they were long lost friends. 

   It was there that they got the first set of supplies for Carol's big plan. There was an outpatient surgery center in the building, and as they pilfered bandages and supplies, Gina came across a large cabinet that housed meds. It had been stripped of antibiotics and major painkillers, but on the top shelf were a few vials of morphine and some packets of fentanyl. She shoved them in the bottom of the bag under the seam that she'd popped out, disguising them from view. The bag had come from their house, and Cleo never said anything about her using it. 

   Each woman was carrying duffel bags, and hers was marked with a red embroidered G. A cursory search of the house led her and Carol to find out that the previous occupants were the Gabriele family. She thought it fitting, and when she joined the scavenging group on the way out, she flashed it at Cleo with a smile. The woman grinned back and shook her head before pointing to Ivy's truck for her to ride in. 

   Once she was sure the meds were secure and unable to make any noise as she moved, Gina continued to pull out surgery packs, bedding, and anything else that could be useful. By the time she left the surgery room, her duffel was nearly overflowing, so she joined the rest of the women, assisting them as they moved from office to office. 

   Liesl was the only medical person in HOW, so when Gina found a few medical books, she grabbed them as well, tossing them into the bed of the truck. Maybe the gruff woman would smile for once. 

   By the end of the day, the trucks were full of everything that Cleo wanted to take, so they headed home, and Gina stopped to drop off her inventory. Carol was working with the check-ins, and Gina handed her the G duffel with a pointed look. 

   "I've got to go feed the cat," she told her. "Can you bring my new favorite accessory home with you?"

   "Of course," Carol told her in her gentle way. "Give my love to Sheba."

   She'd only seen her once, and it had been a sad reunion. The cat began to wail and push at the bars as soon as she'd seen Carol. The older women for her part, burst into tears, rushing to the cage as the cat tried to lick her through the confinement. She stuck both arms in, cradling Shiva's head as she cried for several minutes, stopping only when they heard Heidi approaching. 

   Carol returned to awe, backing up quickly as the cat started to roar at Heidi's approach. 

   "Whew, she does not like you," Gina said, shooting a look that was half-joking and half-warning. _Maybe stay the fuck away, idiot._

   "I don't fucking care," she retorted, leaning against the back wall as Carol shook slightly. Shiva, bless her large heart, focused only on Heidi, jumping up on her hind legs as her nails ran along the metal, making all three of them cringe as the sound tore through the room.

   Gina had also gone to see Jesus twice in the past week, bringing him the bobby pin that he so desperately wanted. She was confused at first until he unlocked his handcuffs when the curtain was closed, causing her mouth to flop open as he smiled at her. 

   Both times, they pretended to have sex and went through the same charade in case anyone peeked in, and it was less traumatizing the second and third time around, but only slightly so. The fact that both of them were naked and vulnerable still unnerved her, but Jesus whispered her assurances that he was up for it, so to speak.

   "Carol's planning something," she told him on the third visit as she leaned over him, ducking down by his ear. "She's positive we'll be out of here in less than a week if you can handle being here a little longer."

   "I came to help," he insisted, straining his arms against the cuffs as she shifted above him. "I'm closer to Aaron this way. Rick would've only made things more complicated."

   Gina had to agree. There was no way he would've submitted to Cleo so easily. In fact, she could hear one of his speeches in her head and she almost smiled. 

   "Aaron is two cells over from you," she murmured, speeding up her movements since she'd been in with him for twenty minutes. 

   "Is- is he okay?"

   "He's tough. He'll hang in there until we see this through."

   She shut up as his eyes closed, and she noticed his cheeks were glistening as she faked an orgasm before climbing off of him and redressing him. Once she was done feeding Shiva and back home, Carol sat her down, going over her plans to get them out of there. 

   Shoving a piece of paper towards her, she told Gina that Ivy let it slip that Cleo was going to take her out to see how she did on a run. "If we can get all this, we'll be in business."

   Thankfully, the medical center went swimmingly, and Gina was free to hunt around for everything else they needed, working covertly as she canvassed with the other women on the second trip, only to come up empty handed. Most of the day was spent in a residential area, but on the way back to the compound, she rode alone with Ivy who sent Nora ahead with the rest of the caravan to get the supplies sorted. 

   "We're gonna make a little detour," she mumbled, her face going flush as Gina's eyebrows rose. It wasn't until they pulled into a dilapidated little plaza with a sex shop that she snorted and Ivy's face got even redder. 

   "Shut up," she said plaintively, switching off the ignition as the two of them climbed out. 

   "Looking for anything in particular?" she needled, ducking out of the way as Ivy swung half-heartedly at her. 

   "Just go make yourself scarce for a while and try not to get yourself killed, all right?"

   Gina gave her a mocking salute before wandering down the sidewalk, peering into the windows of each store. A card shop held little interest. There was also a smoke shop, which she explored, finding a few intact cartons of cigarettes that were in the store room. She tossed them into the bed of the truck before continuing on. There was a tanning salon that was still standing and a little take out Chinese restaurant that was already cleared out. 

   But the last place in the plaza was a little hometown pharmacy, and she crawled through the shattered door, shining her flashlight around as she picked her way through the tiny aisles, not daring to get her hopes up as she approached the raised platform, hoisting herself over the counter into the mess that was left there. Most of the shelves had been knocked over, and large pill containers were scattered across the floor. 

   Blood pressure pills, vitamins, most of it was useless to her and she was just about ready to give up when one of the prescription names caught her eye. Bending over, she picked up the white container, her heart speeding up as she heard the clatter of pills rattle around and she held it up to her nose, reading it carefully as she started to laugh to herself. Thank you, Lord. 

   Practically leaping back over the counter, she shuffled through the aisles until she found a trampled box of baggies, retreating to the back of the store in case Ivy came looking for her. As quickly and carefully as she could, she opened the bottle, pouring the entire contents into the bag, tossing it aside as she stuffed it down into her pants, fixing it so that there was no bulge in her pocket as she pulled her Cleo-issued black shirt down to cover it. 

   On her way out, she pulled a few packages of toilet paper off of the shelf, carrying them under her arm as she jogged back to the truck where Ivy was leaning against it, her foot tapping impatiently. 

   "Smokes and toilet paper?" she questioned, straightening her frame. "What the fuck do you have planned?"

   "It's all I could find," Gina grumbled, tossing the paper in before ripping open one of the cartons of cigarettes, pulling out a pack and tapping on the bottom, leaving the plastic wrapping to drift to the ground. 

   Ivy handed her a lighter as she got into the truck, and Gina lit up a cigarette immediately, blowing it out of the window as they got back on the road. 

   "God, that hits the spot," she muttered, handing one to Ivy who put it to her lips, taking a long drag as Gina lit it for her. She let out a cough, the air between them filling with smoke as she wheezed slightly. 

   "It's been a long time since I've had one of these," she breathed, taking a smaller puff. "I forgot how strong they are."

   Gina grinned before looking out the window as they drove back, her spirits dropping as they pulled through the gates, backing onto the grass by the commissary where Nora was waiting for them.

   "What took you guys so long?" she asked, giving Gina a dirty look. "You should've been back a half an hour ago."

   Gina opened her mouth to say something, but Ivy intercepted. "We had to make a pit stop, babe. Calm your tits."

   Nora glared at her before stalking to the back of the truck with Gina on her heels. The three unloaded the last of the supplies in silence, carrying them in to be inventoried. Carol was still there, and Gina handed her an armful without a word. She knew Carol was trying to read her mood, but Gina gave away nothing, not even direct eye contact. 

   When everything was accounted for, she headed home, getting dinner ready. One nice thing about Cleo's group was the fresh food. Their greenhouses were stocked nicely, and she fixed them a large salad with cold pasta, listening to music as she bustled around the kitchen, waiting for her roommate. 

   She finally showed up around an hour later, throwing herself into a seat as Gina brought out dinner, avoiding her glare. It wasn't until she saw Carol's hands clench into fists that she finally made eye contact. 

   "Would you like some candy, little girl?" she trilled, reaching down into her pocket and producing the baggie, tossing it to Carol whose face lit up like it was Christmas morning. "I'm pretty sure it's enough to knock out the entire community."

   "Are you sure?"

   Gina sat down, spooning a large scoop of pasta onto her plate, feeling hopeful for the first time in nearly a month. "Two of those fuckers took Keith out for the night when I rescued Negan. There's enough to triple or quadruple dose every woman in the compound. We just have to make sure they ingest them."

   "I'll take care of that, no problem. We're going to get permission from Cleo to host a little get together."

   "I'll leave that up to you," Gina said, taking a bite as Carol got up to hide the pills. It would be stupid to leave them where anyone could find them. She went down into the basement, returning a minute later. 

   "She won't refuse me," she told Gina with confidence, switching into sickly sweet Carol without missing a beat. "We'd love to be able to get to know everyone here. It would be an honor to host a party for these special women." The look on her face was perfect, and Gina chuckled, raising her glass in a toast. 

   "To home."

   "To home," Carol repeated, clinking their glasses together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a little bit cheerier, thank God. We're getting closer to Gina and Carol getting to put their plan in action. Will it work? We shall see.


	96. Chapter 96

  
   The sun was beginning to set, painting the sky in bright hues of orange and red as Gina knocked on the door to the brothel. She had to see Jesus before the party and give him the tools to get himself out of the cage tonight. With any luck, they'd be back home within twenty-four hours, and she barely dared to hope for it.

   Heidi swung the door open, bewildered to see her standing there. "I figured you'd be home getting ready for your get together."

   Gina stepped around her, taking long strides towards Jesus' cell. "I'm feeling a little pent up," she said over her shoulder. "I could use some tension relief."

   Unlocking the door, she shut it firmly behind Gina as Jesus sat up quickly, his face apprehensive as Heidi stared in at the two of them. 

   "Am I interrupting you?" she asked in a firm voice as he glanced over her shoulder to Heidi, lifting his arms automatically towards the hook. The game they played was getting old, and she crossed her arms over her chest as Heidi drew the curtains. There was an electric lantern sitting in the corner near his toilet, and she turned it on, illuminating the darkened space. 

   The two of them listened to Heidi's footsteps as they faded away, and she looked away as he lowered his hands, easing his pants off for the last time. While he covered himself up, she reached down into her bra, ignoring the look on his face as she pulled out a syringe, a watch, and a pocket knife, bending over him and shoving it under his pillow before stripping off her clothes and climbing on top of him. 

   There was no music playing today, so she kept her voice so soft that it could barely be considered a whisper. "The syringe is filled with morphine and fentanyl. I know nothing about drugs, but there should be enough in there to incapacitate or kill her. If you can inject her, you can free everyone else while we deal with the people at the party. Any time after nine o'clock. Carol or I will knock four times, so don't open it unless you're sure it's us."

   "I'll get her in here with me," he promised, looking her in the eye as they moved together. Neither one was aroused, obviously, but Gina felt a sick sense of excitement, and it made her wonder what kind of person she really was. No human being should look forward to killing others, but something was brewing inside her, and she couldn't help it. This was it. It was finally here. The reason she and Carol left the people they loved and spent the last month living with these vipers. 

   "You're going to be okay," he murmured, startling her as she moved her hips slowly. 

   "I know," she replied automatically, not even thinking about what she was saying. 

   "I mean it," he said even more softly, his eyes focusing on her as they flashed with sympathy. "You're going to get over this."

   The way he was looking at her made her want to lose it, so she leaned over, resting her forehead on his pillow, letting out a deep breath as he turned his head to the side, kissing her gently on the temple. Gina let out a stifled sob, and she reached up blindly, linking hands with him as they faked their way through intimacy. 

   She pretended to orgasm much sooner than she normally would, because she just couldn't do it anymore. She was too emotionally and mentally spent to continue to fake an assault, and she felt pity for the rest of the men except Bill, the weirdo who smiled at her the first day she walked into this building. He seemed to enjoy being treated like a whore, and before she climbed off of him, she warned Jesus not to trust him. 

   "I'll see you soon," she breathed before sticking her hand out of the cage, waving to get Heidi's attention. She was sitting outside of one of the other cells, and she walked over, her gun swinging off of her shoulder as she pulled out her key ring, unlocking the door.

   "That was fast," she observed, giving Gina a smirk. 

   "I don't waste time," Gina retorted. "It's not like he's a witty conversationalist or anything. He's just a piece of ass, right?"

   Heidi laughed, following her as she went out the back to get Shiva her dinner, not trusting herself to look at Jesus again. The two chatted quietly until they got back inside the warehouse, and Heidi saw that another woman was ready to leave. She excused herself, leaving Gina alone to see Shiva. 

   The cat seemed wound up, almost as if she knew something was happening, and she rubbed herself along the cage as Gina got her gloves on, tossing her the meat that was in the tub. Sometime in the last few days, the fridge had been restocked, but she didn't know if it was a man or a woman. No one told her if it was someone from the compound or if it was some stranger that Cleo happened to run across, not that she really wanted to know. 

   When the food was gone, Gina crept up slowly to the cage, kneeling next to the cat who flopped down, laying her back along the door. Scratching her casually, she murmured to Shiva as the feline purred, sounding like a motor running. 

   "Ezekiel is waiting for you, girl," she said, causing her head to lift up, and they stared at each other before Gina got to her feet with a sigh, sweeping out the pen before taking a last look around. God willing, she'd never lay eyes on this place again. "See you soon," she said before shutting the door, the cries of the tiger echoing in her ears as she headed for the exit. As she passed by Jesus' she saw that he was curled up on the bed, facing the wall. Most of the other cells were closed, so she didn't get to see anyone else that she knew on her way out. 

   It was almost dark as she made her way to the house, taking the long route as she cased out the wall. Noting the number of guards on duty, she was caught off guard by the sound of her name being called. Cleo was heading towards her at a fast clip, with Nora and Ivy, and Gina's heart started to work overtime, causing a fine sheen of sweat to break out on her body almost immediately. This wasn't good.

   "Hey, I've been looking for you," Cleo said as she approached, handing a duffel bag to Ivy, who moved towards the closest truck, throwing it into the back seat before jogging to the guard station. 

   "Something wrong?" Gina asked, instantly on alert. 

   "Maria just radioed me. She found a woman on her own about two hours from here."

   She waited for the other shoe to drop, sensing deep down that this was a bad, bad thing. "Dangerous?"

   "I don't think so." Cleo picked at a string on Gina's collar before flicking it away. "She claims she was forced out of her community."

   "Forced out," she repeated, the feeling of dread growing, and she actually felt a trickle of sweat roll down her armpit. "Nearby? I thought our whole area was clear."

   "I don't have all the details yet. Maria said it was somewhere along the coast."

  _No. No, no, no. Tell me this is not happening_.

   "Be careful," was all that Gina could spit out, causing Cleo to smile, her eyes lighting up in delight. 

   "If I didn't know any better, I'd think you were worried about me," she said, reaching out and caressing Gina's cheek. "I'm going to miss your party, but this is important. If there's another group that needs to be taken out, I want to know sooner rather than later."

   "Of course." 

   Nora cleared her throat discreetly, and Cleo dropped her hand, walking away without another word. Gina nodded to the blonde, watching the three of them as they got into the truck, starting it up before gunning the engine and speeding out of the gate. 

    _Fucking cocksucking motherfucking asshole_. Gina wasn't sure if she was cursing Cleo or herself. 

   When she and Carol arrived here, she'd been terrified that Annabeth was ensconced in the group, ready to take them out at first sight. But as they explored the community, there was no sign that she'd ever come this way, and Gina allowed herself to believe that this plan would go off without a hitch. Desiree, the woman from the St. Louis group had been executed for stealing from the pantry, another lucky break. But once again, she was brought crashing down into the painful spikes of reality. It had to be Annabeth that Maria found. It just had to be. How many coastal communities were there between here and Reedville? The odds were just too great. 

   Taking off a jog, Gina slammed the door as she entered the house. Carol was already dressed, bustling around the kitchen as she came in panting. 

   With a knowing look, Carol leaned her hands on the top of the counter, bracing herself. "What?"

   Gina told her, her hopes sinking as she watched Carol's reaction. She gave her a grim look, her nails scraping along the marble surface. "We have to get out of her tonight. No matter what."

   "But now Cleo, Maria, Ivy, and Nora are all gone. They're not going to be at the party, which is the exact fucking reason we were having it."

   "It doesn't matter," Carol snapped, shaking her head. "We'll deal with everyone else and split. We can come back with Rick and Negan and clean up whatever or whoever's left. We have to be gone if it is Annabeth. The second she sees you or even if she tells Cleo about the leader of Reedville, and she makes the connection, we're worse than dead. We're tiger food. Better to decimate this place and leave her without an army." 

   "I gave Jesus the knife and the syringe. I told him to wait until nine to get Heidi out of the way."

   "Good," Carol told her as if she was checking another task off of a mental to-do list. "You need to go get ready. People will be here soon, and I'm almost done with the preparations."

   Turning around slowly, Gina ascended the steps, shaking her head when she saw that Carol took the liberty of putting out clothes for her as if she were a child. The face that stared back at her from the mirror was scared, tired, and nearly a stranger. There was something behind the eyes of her reflection that worried her. A coldness that she'd never seen before in herself, or maybe she'd just never noticed it before. Was she still herself if she was a mass murderer? 

  One thing that worked in the favor of saving her soul from the flames of eternal damnation was that no kids would die here tonight. Despite the fact that these women had men at their fingertips, none of them had become pregnant or had any children. Gina wondered idly if it was some sort of nature thing, that since the men were being forced to copulate for the most part, that their bodies were rejecting procreation. Surely, people much smarter than she was would have their own theories. 

   Carol set out a pair of black slacks and a red blouse, and Gina put them on hastily before doing her hair and makeup. The stranger looked back at her again, warning her with her cold eyes to keep her wits about her tonight. 

   Back in the kitchen, she helped Carol to set out the food and drinks. The past two days, they had prepared snack and hors d'oeuvres, all of which were laced with the sedatives and sleeping pills. There were also two large bowls of punch. One was alcoholic and one wasn't but they were each spiked, as well as every other refreshment in the house. There was only one small pitcher of punch in the fridge that wasn't and it was what Gina and Carol were going to be drinking. 

   Every moment of this party had been choreographed like a dance, and the two women were both going to lead certain parts of the show. Carol was going to be in charge of the food and drinks, begging off imbibing in the alcohol as a moral woman, and Gina was going to be the host, making her way through the crowd to make sure every woman there ingested at least enough to knock them out. Not counting the guards and Heidi, they were expecting just about everyone else in the town, which meant about fifty people were going to be there. 

   The grandfather clock in the living room chimed out eight bells when the first guest arrived, and Gina opened the door, surprised to see that it was Liesl. She was dressed in a blue pantsuit, her glasses sliding down her nose.

   Gina welcomed her in, and she headed straight for the kitchen, offering to help Carol as she flitted around the kitchen. With a smile, Carol gestured for her to sit, and the two made small talk as a stream of women showed up to join them. Gina was a pleasant host, directing them through the house since they'd had extra chairs set up. Music played softly in the background as people began to group together, and she tried to hit each one, making small talk and thanking them for coming. 

   Carol finally emerged from the kitchen, carrying a tray of food, making her way from room to room as people began to nibble here and there. With a knowing look, she made a second pass through, this time with cups of punch, handing one in a red cup to Gina. She sipped it slowly, watching the crowd for any signs that the pills were kicking in, but everyone seemed to be okay so far. 

   She continued to mingle with the ladies until she finally set herself up in the den, opening the double doors to the back yard to let in some fresh air. Karenna, the older woman who managed the commissary, was sitting down on the couch, and her eyelids were fluttering as she tried to focus. Smoothly, Gina approached her, helping her to her feet as she offered to show her the flowers that she'd planted in the back, a way to get her away from prying eyes. 

   With delayed movements, she let Gina lead her out into the yard, where the two went over to the fence. It was dark in the corner, and Gina stood with her for a few minutes babbling before Karenna pitched forward, unable to stay awake any longer. As gently as she could, she eased her down to the ground, laying her on her side. The older woman was taking shallow breaths, and Gina felt a twinge of guilt. As far as she knew, Karenna had never hurt anyone. Of course, she'd never helped anyone either. 

   When she went back into the house, she saw that a few people were drowsing on the couches, so she dimmed the lights, herding a few other women including Liesl into the kitchen for some more hors d'oeuvres. Carol was still handing out food and drinks, and a few of the females were laughing loudly, clearly feeling some effects of the pills. Someone turned up the music, and a couple people started to dance, their movements jerky and uncoordinated as some of the crowd began to get a little raucous. 

   Carol handed her another glass of punch, and Gina sucked it down before taking another pass through the house. Here and there, women were starting to fade, some plopping down on the floor as they tried to hold their heads up. Others were collapsing onto the couches or chairs, falling unconscious nearly in sync. In each room, entire groups were starting to pass out, causing some confusion as people started to notice that something was going on. 

   Gradually, Gina became aware that her vision was starting to double, and she stumbled towards the kitchen, where Carol had begun to drag Liesl's limp body towards the basement door. She wasn't sure if Liesl was alive or dead, and she reached out her arm, struggling to focus as her fingers started to sparkle, little electric sparks flying off of the tips of her nails. 

   "Carol," she slurred, blinking rapidly as she watched Carol roll Liesl to the steps, listening as the woman's body tumbled down the steps. Laughter burst from her lips as the sound made her hysterical for some reason. It sounded like a something from a cartoon, almost exaggerated falling sound effects. "Carol," Gina said again, opening her eyes as wide as she could, reaching through the soupy air as she took Gina by the hands, leading her around the side of the counter. 

   "Something's wrong," Gina mumbled, forcing the words through her numb lips. 

   "Everything's fine," Carol soothed her, rubbing her head as Gina's legs gave out, and she hit the floor with a thud. "You need to sleep."

   "What...what did you do?" It was hard to concentrate with the little black swoopy shadows that danced in and out of her vision, blocking Carol's face for a second before flying away. 

   "Shh," she whispered, hugging her. "You've done enough here. You need to rest. I'll take care of everything."

   "I..."

   The shadows came dancing in again, and Gina was vaguely aware of the sound of thumps on the floor along with a few shouts and cries before the shadows came together, leaving her alone in the dark, still feeling Carol's strong arms around her.


	97. Chapter 97

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, yes! Two chapters in two days. I couldn't wait to get it done, since I know you're wondering why Carol did what she did. Enjoy!

**Carol**

 

  
   As soon as she laid Gina's head on the rug below the sink, Carol got to her feet, a singular purpose in her mind. Finish this. 

   There were a few moans reverberating throughout the house, and she went immediately to the cabinet by the basement door, opening it and pulling out her belt. Fastening it quickly around her waist, she pulled out her hunting knife with the serrated edge, locking the basement door as she headed out into the house. 

   The first person she came across was Hayley, Cleo's consort, and she was still stumbling around, trying to keep herself upright. Carol stepped up behind her, wrapping her arms around Hayley's neck, shoving the knife into the base of her skull. She went limp, and Carol let her drop to the floor, her limbs splayed out. They were in the foyer, so she locked the door before continuing on. 

   Stepping into the living room, she made quick work of the bodies in there, each receiving a quick stab to the temple before she grabbed the sharp, iron poker that leaned up against the wall near the fireplace. Her mind was clear and black as she switched into killer mode, a place she'd had to inhabit off and on for the last several years. 

   She'd crossed the line from moral to soulless so many times that she straddled the divide almost constantly. It had cost her a piece of her very being, her morality, but she knew she could come back from it eventually. She always did. Gina, however, was still too young, too pure to put through this gruesome task. 

   Carol had no doubt that Gina would be able to kill these women, but it would destroy something in her, and she was too fond of the young woman to let her go down the same dark path that Carol did. Gina had children and a future ahead of her. More than Carol had. She was hopeful that this wouldn't be her last stand, but she was prepared if it was. She just didn't want that for Gina. 

   Sweeping through the house, she eliminated every one she came across, except for Karenna, who was still lying in the grass up against the house. She was too old to fight, and she'd be no trouble to them. Carol took another pass through the lower level to make sure that everyone was taken care of before washing the blood off of her hands in the kitchen. 

   Squatting down, she pressed her fingers to Gina's neck, which held a slow, but steady pulse. "I'll be back," she murmured, kissing her on the forehead, getting no response. Carol was confident that by the time she woke up, they'd be home, or at least very close to it. But in order to fulfill that promise, she needed to get her ass in gear. As she stood up, she debated on leaving a knife for her in case she woke up. 

   Pulling out a butcher's knife from the wooden block that sat on the counter, she set it on the floor by Gina's hand before walking to the closet by the front door, shutting off the lights along the way in case someone decided to peek in the windows. By her rough count, a handful of the residents were missing, and they didn't have time to do a house to house search. Enough damage was done to Cleo's disciples, and they had bigger fish to fry, namely the guards that were still patrolling along the walls. 

   There was a black jacket hanging on one of the hooks that were mounted on the door, and she zipped it up before stepping out into the night, locking the door behind her. Only one streetlight was shining on each street, making it easier for her to slip unnoticed to the warehouse, keeping to the shadows as she held her gun in her hand, ready to fire at a moment's notice. 

   The sky was filled with stars, but no moon, and she located the north star almost without thinking, a habit from years on the road, oftentimes without a map. Memories came flooding back to her, all of them with a common theme running through them. Karen and David, Lizzie and Mika. Terminus and the Wolves. All people she'd had to take down or take out, costing her peace of mind, but giving it to the people that she loved. It was a fair trade off, she thought, even though it wore on her body and soul. But she'd bounce back. She always did. Having Ezekiel certainly helped. 

   He was there for her when she woke up in the middle of the night, screaming in terror as the faces of the people she'd killed would hunt her, dragging her down with them into hell. He was there for her when she'd let the tears come, holding her and rocking her, telling her that she was special, she was strong. That she was worthy of being alive, because of the things she'd done. Not in spite of them. And she was going back to him, bringing him the second most important thing in his life after her. 

   Feeling exposed as she stood at the door, with a flood light shining directly down on her head, Carol knocked four times, flipping the safety off on her gun, holding it behind her back as she held her breath. 

   The door opened, and Jesus had Heidi's gun pointed at her head, sighing visibly in relief when he saw that it was her. She reached back, shutting the door and locking it as he retreated to the middle of the warehouse. There were almost a dozen men clustered together, but she zoned in on one, nearly knocking him over as she threw her arms around him.

   "Oh, thank God," she laughed, the tears mixing with her joy as Morgan hugged her tightly, lifting her off her feet. "I thought you were dead."

   "Nah, I'm still kickin' old friend," he said, reluctant to let her go. Aaron was the next to greet her, giving her a shaky embrace, followed by Gabriel and Eugene, who was still terrified, refusing to make eye contact with anyone. 

   Jesus hurriedly introduced her to the other men, most of whom still seemed to be in shock that they were free. They were all dressed in red and green scrubs and none of them had shoes, but there was nothing to be done about it now. 

   "Are we missing one?" she questioned, turning towards Jesus. He nodded his head. 

   "Bill. It turns out that he was not really unhappy to be here, and we couldn't take the chance that he'd screw us over."

   With a short nod, she motioned for the remaining men to get closer. "We're getting out of here, but a few things need to happen first. One of them is to get Shiva free. Jesus," she said, "do you have Heidi's keys?"

   He handed them over to her wordlessly, and she closed them in her palm before continuing. "Second is to take out the guards on the wall. I need Jesus and Aaron to come with me. Morgan, you, too, so that we can do this as quietly as possible. Once they're dead, we're loading up any guns and supplies that we can get in under a half an hour, and then we're gone. I don't know when Cleo's getting back, but we're on a ticking clock."

   "The rest of you need to stay here until we get back with the all clear. We'll go from there," she said as she stalked towards the back of the warehouse, aware of Shiva's cries. 

   The door was unlocked, and she stepped in, flipping the light switch, her heart spasming as Shiva paced around, ready to get to work. Without hesitation, she walked over to the corner of the room where a large chain was hanging on the wall next to Shiva's collar. A part of her was frightened of what would happen when she opened the cage since she'd never tried to corral the tiger without Ezekiel beside her. 

   "Fuck it," she muttered, trying the first key without success. If she died, at least it wasn't by another human's hand. The fourth time was a charm, and the lock clicked, allowing her to push the bars in, springing Shiva free who bounded out immediately, stretching herself with a growl. 

   "Come on," Carol urged her, holding her breath as the cat stalked towards her, nosing at the chain before dipping her head. Her hands were trembling slightly as she fastened the collar around Shiva's neck, snapping the chain into place before patting her on the head, amused and afraid as the cat's eyes closed slowly. "Let's go."

   She walked towards the door, careful to keep Shiva neither ahead nor behind her, always alongside her. When she reopened it, several men skittered back, yelping as the tiger let out a roar, pulling on the lead, jerking Carol forward. 

   "Everyone stay back," she warned, yanking Shiva, who complied with a snarl. "Jesus, I need you right behind me. We have to get into the armory. It's in the commissary. Morgan and Aaron, get in line behind him."

   The cat sauntered alongside her as she unlocked the front entrance, poking her head out to make sure the area was clear. "Jesus," she whispered, turning her head slightly.

  "Are you good at throwing?"

   "Not bad," he answered, giving her an odd look. 

   "Can you take out that light?"

   Carol retreated, allowing him to slip through the door. Jesus hunted around the building for a few rocks, launching them upwards with a grunt until the light shattered, pitching them into darkness. 

   Able to breathe easier, she led them out, moving along the edges of the grass, on alert for any signs and sounds of the guards or Cleo in case she returned. But the night was quiet as they crept towards the storage building. Again, Jesus took off ahead of them, knocking out the light so that they could enter under the cover of darkness. He slithered around the side of the building, and a small crash rang through the air before he unlocked the door, letting them in. 

   Pulling a small flashlight out of her pocket, Carol left Shiva in front of the counter as she opened the glass door to the office, retrieving four lanterns, handing them out before showing them to the steps leading down to the armory. There were only two guns with silencers, and she handed one to Jesus and the other to Morgan, who checked it thoroughly before returning to the entrance to keep watch. 

   Five minutes later, they were back out in the open, with Shiva pulling Carol forward. She was unnervingly quiet, as if she knew that they were supposed to be sneaking up on their enemies, and she began to stalk forward to the wall. 

   In the dim light, they could see a shadow moving back and forth along the back landing where Gina had been assigned to garden duty when they first arrived. There was only one guard along this stretch since the rear of the property was surrounded by open fields. 

   Ducking down, the four flattened themselves against the bricks as Carol unhooked the chain as quietly as she could. 

   "Go get her, girl," she murmured, feeling Shiva tense next to her before taking off at a run. It was a sight to behold as the tiger leaped up with grace, landing on the walkway right next to the guard. Her back was turned away from the cat, and she struck, knocking her over the side with a strangled cry. 

   Jesus ran over first, hoisting himself up as the woman moaned briefly before her cries were cut off abruptly by Shiva's grip on her throat. They could hear the sound of bones cracking, and Carol let out a shiver before waving them on. Whistling over her shoulder, the cat reappeared on the wall, walking behind Jesus until he thought better of it, jumping down with Morgan and Carol. 

   Once again, Shiva took off at a run as they followed behind, giving her space, and she launched again, this time keeping the small woman on the walkway, shaking her back and forth, breaking her neck with a snap. It was savage, and it was fitting, given everything these bitches had done to others, and Carol couldn't find it in herself to feel too badly for the guard. 

   Morgan collected the dead woman's gun as Shiva settled down for her meal, and they left her behind, rounding the wall in unison. As they got closer to the entrance, the number of women increased, working in groups of two while they kept watch. Carol eased back with Aaron, letting Jesus and Morgan take charge since they had the guns with silencers. 

   Two soft pops later and two more bodies hit the ground. After a hushed discussion with Aaron, they doubled back, intending to meet up with Jesus and Morgan on the other side, to make sure that no one slipped through their grasp. 

   She could see her breath every time she exhaled, the temperature dropping rapidly since the skies were so clear, and she whistled again as they passed Shiva, who was licking her paws, sated from her latest meal. Carol avoided looking at what was left of the unnamed woman, preferring to focus on what was in front of her, both literally and figuratively. 

   When they passed the spot that they set her free, Carol grabbed Shiva's chain, stuffing it into her coat pocket for later. Instead of going all the way back to the warehouse, she and Aaron took off across the open lawn, but Shiva shot ahead of them, spying another lone guard. This one, however, noticed their approach, and she fired at them, sending them sprinting forward as Shiva charged, nearly getting hit by a bullet. 

   The woman let out an earsplitting scream, forcing her and Aaron to abandon her to Shiva, intent on making sure that the rest of the guards were neutralized before one of them could alert Cleo to what was happening. 

   Chaos reigned ahead of them, a rising air of unrest as bullets were discharged, and she got down on her knees, squinting as she saw flashes of light ahead. Carol could feel Aaron behind her, his body heat against her back as she raised her arm, firing up towards the dark figures that were heading straight for them. A sense of calm took over her system, allowing her to do what she always did. Take out a threat. Aaron fired alongside her as he eased up next to her, but she didn't even notice. Didn't even flinch as his gun went off in time with hers. 

   She didn't come back to herself, become aware of her surroundings until Aaron shook her shoulder, breaking her focus. Blinking, she saw that Jesus and Morgan were running towards her. Morgan had a cut above his eye, and Jesus was covered in dirt and bits of grass. 

   "Is it done?" she asked, climbing to her feet. 

   "They're all dead," Morgan confirmed. 

   Carol moved at a breakneck pace towards the entrance, bypassing several bodies as she rummaged around the guard station, lifting several sets of keys off of the little hooks they were hanging on just inside the door. 

   "Come on," she said, tossing a set to each man. "Let's get the trucks loaded and get Gina."

   "Where is she?" Jesus questioned, stopping in his tracks. 

   "She's at the house," Carol said tersely, ignoring his gaze. 

   "Carol, what did you do?" The words were loaded with suspicion, angering her. 

   She stomped towards him, getting in his face. "I did what I had to do. It's what was best for her. She's unharmed, for Christ's sake. Let's just get this over with. Keep the lights off."

   Pressing the key fob, she waited to see which truck it belonged to, and when the lights flickered on the red truck, she jumped in, slamming the door without thinking, cursing under her breath as she started the engine. 

   Did he really think she'd hurt Gina? Sure, she was cold and vicious when she needed to be, but she'd never harm anyone that she cared about. Her weakness was that she cared too much about the people that mattered to her. Carol went out of her way to make sure that Gina wasn't in danger tonight. She'd suffered enough here. Carol wasn't about to let her go through anything else for Cleo. 

   Going at top speed, she drove towards the commissary, using only the fog lights to guide her. Shiva was still on the wall, and her head pricked up as the truck passed her. Carol could see her jump down in the rearview mirror, moving at a lazy pace behind her. 

   Swinging the truck around, she backed up almost to the door, hopping out as Shiva trotted towards her. Three more trucks followed, and they lined up alongside hers as she clipped the chain back around Shiva's neck. The truck that Morgan stepped out of had a cover on the bed, and she led the tiger over, encouraging her to get in. The cat jumped up, turning herself around in a circle before stretching out, panting lightly. Morgan shut the tailgate as the three of them went streaming back into the building except for Jesus, who took off to retrieve the rest of the men. 

   They worked at a frantic pace, first raiding the armory for all of the weapons that were stored down there. In order to expedite the process, they handed the weapons off in a line, each man taking an armful before jogging up the steps to give them to someone waiting at the top of the steps. 

   It took them under fifteen minutes to wipe the room clean of all guns and ammunition, and Carol stepped out into the open to catch her breath. Eugene was supervising the rest of the thievery, directing the other men on what to take, though Carol popped back in, swiping all the remaining cartons of cigarettes along with a few lighters and blankets, motioning for Jesus to follow her. 

   "As soon as you're done, head to the gates," she told Morgan, throwing the blankets in with Shiva so that she could make a bed for herself. "We need to be gone in a few. We'll get everyone situated once we're far enough away from here."

   Morgan nodded in agreement. "We'll be there soon."

   Carol tossed the cigarettes in the back seat, anxious to get back to Gina and get her the hell out of here. Jesus got in the passenger seat and she took off, driving through the grass to cut between the houses, not bothering to avoid the small shrubs that dotted the sides of the houses she passed. 

   As soon as they pulled into the driveway, she nearly had a heart attack as a walker bounced up against the picture window of their house, its hands slapping against it as it tried to get to them. Her hands were shaking as she pulled out the keys, unlocking the door. Jesus pushed past her to deal with the dead as she ran to the kitchen, collapsing next to Gina who was still in the same spot. Running her hands over her, she checked to make sure that she wasn't bitten. The kitchen light flipped on before Jesus knelt down next to her. 

   "Was she hurt?" It was hard to miss the overt fear and concern in his voice as his hands helped her check Gina.

   "No," Carol breathed, slumping forward, suddenly overcome. Her mistake almost cost Gina her life, and she let out a little whimper, her hands closing around the material of   Gina's blouse. She never stirred, never reacted to their examination of her and Carol backed up as Jesus slid his arms underneath her, lifting her up with a slight grunt. 

   Gina's head tilted back over the cusp of Jesus' arm, and her mouth fell open, her breathing stilted. Carol got to her feet and opened the front door, looking down the empty street which was eerily quiet. Rousing herself, she locked the door before tossing the key through the yard and opening the door, climbing in to help get Gina into the back seat. She sat with the younger woman's head on her lap, and she brushed the hair away from her face after checking her pulse. It was weaker, and she felt a stinging fear that she'd given her too much of the sleeping pill. 

   "Hurry," she urged Jesus as he got behind the wheel. 

   The truck started up with a rumble, and he jerked it forward as they backed out, darting down the road towards freedom. The rest of the vehicles were ready and waiting as Carol rolled down the window, stopping next to Morgan. 

   "Gina said they headed south, so we're going north and we'll take the long way around. Once we get a good distance away, we can stop and figure out the best way to go. There should be maps in each truck."

   He nodded, and before she could raise the window, Jesus stepped on the gas, busting through the gate that none of them had bothered to open. The truck rocked to the side as he veered to the left, keeping the lights off as they rocketed away from the compound. Carol didn't spare the place another glance. The only thought that she had was that she wished they had some dynamite to blow it off the face of the earth. 

   Glancing over her shoulder, she saw that the others were following close behind, with Morgan just a few feet back. On the floor of the truck was an old blanket, and she shook it out, placing it over Gina's body. Her skin was cool to the touch, so she rubbed her arms, hoping that she'd be okay. 

   The walls disappeared from view, allowing Carol to settle back into the seat, her muscles twitching as she felt a buzz of fatigue building. They did it. They took out almost all of Cleo's group, but the real battle was coming. She wanted to return as soon as possible to take out the queen bitch and make sure that she watched her die. She had to know for sure that she was gone for good. 

   "Negan," Gina mumbled, the sound barely escaping her lips. Her lashes flickered as Carol bent over her, resting her cheek on Gina's forehead. 

   "Shh," she soothed, feeling Gina's head turn slightly. "You'll see him soon."

   It must have gotten through to her in her drugged slumber, because she relaxed again, a tiny smile flitting across her face before going slack again. When Carol looked up, she saw Jesus watching her in the rearview mirror. 

   "Where are we going?" he inquired, finally turning on the headlights, illuminating the road ahead. Carol closed her eyes, bringing up the map that she and Gina studied in her mind before they came. Searching her memories, the interstate that ran around the edge of the city popped up suddenly. 

   "Keep driving until you see a sign for the highway," she told him, keeping her eyes closed. "I think it's 395. Once we get on the interstate, we can get a route planned. I want to get Shiva some water."

   "Got it."

   The hum of the engine and the gentle swaying helped her to relax, and Carol drifted off, thoughts of Ezekiel bringing a smile to her own face. She had a reunion of her own to look forward to and it couldn't happen a moment too soon. They'd finish the rest of the job together for their family. All of them.


	98. Chapter 98

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, my lovelies, I was up before work banging out the rest of this chapter just for you. I. Am. Tired. But I hope you enjoy it!

  
**Negan**

 

   Casey was crouched down behind the fence, and she squinted through the scope, aiming the rifle carefully before firing. A metallic clang rang out, signaling that she hit the stop sign, and she glanced back at Negan with a smile so wide that her face nearly split in two.

   "That's three in a row," she crowed before turning back around, missing the grin that crossed his face. She shot again, this time missing. "Shit," came a low-grade mutter.

   "Excuse me, little miss?"

   Negan saw her shoulders stiffen before a muted apology came spitting out. Goddamn, she was going to be a trash mouth like he and Gina were, he could feel it.

   "Don't get cocky," he reminded her, fixing her stance before she shot again, hitting the edge of the metal sign. They'd been out since first light, practicing with a larger rifle, but she'd gotten the hang of it quickly, and she was focused, her little tongue popping out now and again as she concentrated. Casey would rock back slightly with each shot, absorbing the impact as her ponytail bounced up and down before resetting herself with minimal coaching by him.

   After another dozen attempts, his radio sprung to life, and Rick sounded panicked.

   "We've got three trucks closing in fast. You need to get back now," he implored before going silent.

   Casey turned to look at him, fright washing over her features as he grabbed the gun out of her hand, scooping her up into his arms as he took off at a run towards the end of the street. His breathing was labored as she clung to him, wrapping her arms tightly around his neck, her legs struggling to make their way onto his waist.

   "It's ok, little darlin'," he muttered, breaking into a full fledged run as they closed the gap to the gate which was slowly closing as they shot through it.

   Negan set her down as he pushed her lightly. "Go to Ronnie's now," he barked out, pushing her again as she hesitated. "Go, baby."

   She took off at a run as Rick came lurching over, his radio going at a constant stream.

   "It's Carol and some others," Jerrod called out, stationed on the top of the point.

   "Are you sure?" Rick verified, pulling his gun from his belt, locking eyes with Negan, who was clenching the rifle so tightly that it was a wonder it didn't snap in half. His lungs were burning, and his muscles were shaking from exertion and nerves as they heard the rumble of trucks approaching.

   Chuck called down, motioning for the men below to reopen the gates. "They're coming in fast," he warned, causing Rick and Negan to scuttle off to the side of the road.

   Seconds later, three trucks barrelled through the entrance, squealing to a stop just feet from the two men. Negan couldn't think, he just ran for the truck, coming around the driver's side to see Carol opening the rear door and his heart spasmed painfully to see that Gina was inside, unconscious, her mouth open slightly as her hand lay unmoving on the floor of the cab. It was Michael's birth all over again, her lying motionless as he stood by helpless to do anything.

   Carol pushed him out of the way, feeling Gina's neck as Jesus came around to help drag her out. The sight of the two of them touching her brought him back from whatever frozen state he was in, and he knocked them aside, pulling her into his arms.

   "We have to get her to the doctor," Carol spat, refusing to make eye contact with him.

   "What's wrong with her?" he asked, barely keeping his voice at a tolerable level as Gina's head flopped against his chest. Her skin was cool and she let out a rattled breath. Not waiting for a response, he took off towards Dr. Thomas, her limp body bouncing in his arms as he didn't even dare to look at her.

   Rick shot past him, reaching the office in time to swing the door wide open, shouting for the doctor as Negan carried her into the exam room that she nearly died in, laying her on the table as carefully as he could.

   Gina still wasn't responding, and his hands shook slightly as he rubbed her arms, which were still cold. Her lips were pale, and her skin was almost translucent as he hovered over her, nearly hysterical at seeing her in this state after not laying eyes on her for over a month.

   "What are we dealing with here?" Dr. Thomas said brusquely as he entered, pulling his stethoscope out.

   "I dosed her with sleeping pills, and I think she had too much."

   Carol was standing in the doorway, out of breath as she came closer, stopping only when she saw the look on Negan's face.

   "You did what?"

   "I'll explain later," she told him, coming to stand by Gina's head, smoothing her hair gently away from her face, and Negan noticed that it was much shorter. An odd thing to notice when she was so sick, but he did.

   "What was she given?" he asked, placing the stethoscope to her chest, listening closely.

   Carol rattled off some medication that he'd never heard of, and Dr. Thomas nodded his head slightly, feeling her pulse. Exiting the room, he returned a minute later with a bag of saline, hanging it on a pole before inserting an iv into Gina's arm.

   "We need to flush out whatever's in her system. How long ago was she drugged?"

   Carol rubbed her face, and when she spoke, her voice broke. "About twelve hours ago or so. Is she going to be okay?"

   "I think so," he sighed, looking at Carol with a disgruntled expression. "Her pulse is weak but steady. She'll probably be out for a few more hours. Hopefully, there's not any permanent damage to her kidneys."

   Letting out a feeble gasp, Carol bent down, kissing Gina softly on the forehead. "I'm sorry, sweetheart. I just did what I thought was best. You're home now."

   Negan was unmoved, grabbing her by the arm and dragging her out of the room. Carol didn't resist, though Rick tried to stop him before finally following behind the two as he took her into the living room.

   "Start talking. Now." He was on the verge of snapping, and it wouldn't be good for any of them.

   "I couldn't let her get hurt," Carol said wearily, collapsing onto the couch as Rick shot him a look, sitting down next to her. "She'd done enough horrible stuff over the last month. I didn't want her to have to slaughter anyone. I just wanted to spare her from the mass execution that we had to perform. That's all."

   "Do. Not. Move."

   He stalked back out of the room, taking a seat next to Gina as Dr. Thomas monitored her, taking her blood pressure as he stroked her face gently. "Come back to me, baby. Come back one more time, please," he begged her, kissing her softly on the lips, startling slightly when she let out a breathy sigh.

   Dr. Thomas ran his knuckles along her sternum, seeming pleased when she responded, moaning slightly as her arm lifted off the bed to push him away. "That's a good sign. She should come out of this. I'll keep pushing fluids, and we should be able to flush the last of it out of her bloodstream."

   "Thank you, Doc," he said, his eyes never leaving her face.

   "Negan," Rick said, clearing his throat as he walked in, coming to stand next to him. He touched Gina's hand lightly before turning towards him. "They took out everyone but Cleo and a few of her lieutenants. We're heading back there now to see if we can finish this."

   "I'm coming with you," he said, getting to his feet, shaking off Rick's arm as he tried to reason with him.

   "Stay with her," he urged, trying to get Negan to be rational. But there was no time for rational thinking, only the desire to make sure this diseased cunt Cleo died an agonizing death.

   "Can you get Talia?" he asked, refusing to make eye contact. "I don't want her to be alone."

   With a sigh, Rick left, and he stood over Gina, holding her hand gently as if it would break. When Dr. Thomas left the room, he pulled out his necklace, unclasping it and sliding on his ring before putting hers back on her finger. He didn't know if she even wanted it anymore, but he was damned sure that he was going to leave it with her in case anything went wrong. It was still loose, and she hadn't gained back all of the weight she lost before she left.

   Negan bent down, kissing her several times, murmuring into her mouth as their lips met. "I love you."

   He allowed himself to lose it, just a bit as he rested his head on her chest, listening to her heart beat, his hand clutching her hair until he heard the door open, and he stood up abruptly, wiping his eyes before turning around to see Talia. She was pale, looking between him and Gina, her eyes shiny.

   "Tell her I'll be back as soon as I can," he said, walking out of the room without a backward glance. Just as he did so many times before in his life, he turned off his emotions, as easily as he turned off the lights at night. He wasn't Negan, husband and father anymore. He was Negan the killer.

   There was a bustle of activity by the gates, and he could see Ezekiel holding his tiger by its chain, squatting down next to her as he hugged her, the emotions plain on his face. Before Negan got close, he led her away, putting her in John's old house.

   Jesus was unloading a shitload of guns, and when he saw Negan approaching he cut him off. "How's Gina?"

   Negan pawed through the weapons, selecting several that he stuffed into a bag that was lying on the ground near the truck.

   "Dr. Thomas thinks she'll be awake in a few hours. How far away is this place?"

   "Now that we know where it is, I'd say about eight hours, give or take."

   Zipping up the bag, Negan carried to the black truck, shoving it between the two seats up front, slamming the door as Carol came back over, loaded down with food and water, Ezekiel trailing behind her.

   "Please, my darling, you haven't slept. Allow me to go, and you can stay and look after Gina."

   "No," she said harshly, ignoring Negan's glare as she deposited half into the back seat. "I have to finish this."

   Disappearing around the other side, he heard a door slam, and Rick strode towards them, followed by Daryl. "All of the kids are with Ronnie," he told Negan, handing him a radio. "She's going to keep them until we get back."

   Without a word, he climbed into the passenger seat, grinding his teeth as Carol got in the back, followed by Ezekiel. A minute later, Rick heaved himself into the driver's seat, starting up the truck without a word.

   The other truck housed Jesus, Aaron and Daryl, and Rick let them go out first, following behind at close range. Holding the radio close to his face, he instructed Clinton and Devin to be on alert, and to get all the vulnerable residents to the houses by the boats, ready to flee at a moment's notice.

   "Eugene is going to start working on an alert system at the point to give you as much notice as possible if they see anything out of the ordinary. The sirens are ready to go," he said, dropping the radio on the seat as he gripped the wheel, his knuckles turning white.

   Ezekiel murmured quietly to Carol, who was staring out the window with a blank expression. Negan had no idea what the two of them had been through, but by the time they got there, he was going to be up to speed, of that he was fucking sure.

   To pass the time, he unzipped the bag, checking and rechecking their weapons, making sure they were loaded and ready to go, fighting the urge to blow a hole in something, anything.

   Rick was watching him out of the corner of his eye, but he didn't say anything, letting Negan work out his frustrations alone. God knows if Michonne had been brought back in that condition, he'd be psychotic himself.

   They were speeding down the interstate when he finally turned to look at Carol. She was still staring out the window, rubbing her cheek restlessly, her eyes not focusing on anything.

   "Carol," he said in a mild voice, causing her to look at him.

   "I need to know, " he pleaded. "I need to know what you both went through. What we're going to find."

   "We went through hell, basically. The goddamned group is called Hell on Wheels, for fuck's sake. Everything that happened there took its toll on us, but moreso on Gina because she had Cleo's attention."

   Negan could feel his blood begin to boil as random thoughts came into his head. "What did she have to do?"

   Carol let out a shuddering sigh before launching into details that enraged him and made his stomach turn.

   "Cleo took a particular interest in Gina," she began, "and she was hitting on her a lot. A lot. She thought that if she gave her time, Gina would come around and be her consort or something. Cleo would quiz us on our stories, and the more we told her, the more unhinged she became. "

   "She was preying on my wife?" He was on the verge of deranged just from this information alone.

   "That's not the worst of it. She took Gina to the brothel where they were holding the men, including Aaron, Morgan, and Eugene. Offered her one of the free ones. Some were already claimed by some of the women in the compound."

   "She wanted Gina to rape somebody?" The anger was causing him physical pain as he thought of Gina being trapped there with a group of psychotic rapist bitches.

   "She was able to get out of it for a while, and just take over feeding Shiva. Gina convinced Cleo not to kill the animal, that she'd make sure she was fed and kept clean since no one else could get close enough. The problem was, they were feeding Shiva people, not walkers."

   "Your wife is a very brave woman," Ezekiel praised, rubbing Carol's arm as she stared at the back of Negan's head. "Shiva took a liking to her."

   "It wasn't until Jesus showed up that she had to step up to claim him."

   Negan's shoulders went up so high that it was hard to see his head, but Carol continued on again, giving him the horrible details that he asked for.

   "She had to fight one of Cleo's lieutenants for him, in order to claim him and keep him from being raped. She won, of course, and was expected to sleep with him immediately."

   If he thought he was already enraged, this just pushed him over the edge. "She had...she had to rape her friend?"

   "They had to make it seem like they were having sex. They faked it. But it killed her to have to do it. She came home hysterical and sobbing. Between the brothel and Cleo's continuous advances towards her, she was starting to crack, and I just couldn't let that place break her down." Carol's voice began to sound pleading, as if she wanted everyone to understand why she did what she did.

   "We planned a party to get all of the women together, and we drugged them. But I knew that if Gina was a part of the mass killing, it would destroy her more than she already was. And I didn't want that for her."

   Negan glanced back at her, calmed slightly by the sincerity in her voice. "I care about her," she said, her voice fading. "I don't want her to be like me. To wake up with nightmares of what I've done for my family. For all of you."

   Rick reached back with his hand, gripping hers as he stared out at the road. "I just wanted to get her home to you and your kids. I didn't want her carrying any more guilt than she already was."

   After a moment, Negan turned around fully so that he could look her in the eyes. "Thank you for bringing her home," he said, and she broke down in tears. A quick squeeze of her hand was all he could muster for the moment.

   The rest of the ride was silent until Rick brought up Cleo.

   "If you had the whole town at the party, why aren't Cleo and her soldiers dead?"

   "They left the facility to follow up on a woman they found," she said bitterly, causing Rick to stare at her in the mirror. "A woman who'd been excommunicated from her community. A coastal community."

   "Annabeth?" Negan asked, shaking his head.

   "I don't know, but I imagine there aren't many communities between here and there."

   Rick stepped on the gas to urge Jesus to move faster, and they sped along the road, each lost in thoughts that they couldn't get away from. Negan was haunted by images of Gina having sex with Jesus, fighting off some butch bitch that wanted in her pants. The rage returned, and by God, if any of them remained, he'd make sure their last few moments alive would be full of a pain that not even the Devil himself could dole out.

   During the long trek, Carol would nap for a little while, and then wake long enough to give them some more details on how they spent the last month. With every word, every sentence, every anecdote about Cleo, Negan would check off a mental list of the heinous things he was going to do to her. This time, he felt he was more than justified. It wasn't until Rick let rip a long stream of swear words that shocked everyone in the car that Negan knew he wasn't the worst one affected by this woman's actions. He had no more claim on vengeance than the others.

   "She's going to pay for what she's done," Negan said in a low voice, resting his hand on Rick's shoulder. "I promise you. For everything you've lost."

   Rick didn't answer, but he nodded his head once, and Negan let the conversation drop. They only stopped twice on the hours long ride to stretch their legs and relieve themselves, and it was late afternoon when Jesus pulled off of the highway, leading them through a residential area that surrounded yet another base. For someone that never even went to them before he met Gina, they were becoming a regular presence in his life.

   The truck in front of them slowed to a stop, pulling off onto the side of the road near a small wooded area, and Rick followed suit. All seven of them got out, stretching once again before arming themselves, clustering together between the two vehicles.

   "Just beyond this little forest is the field that buts up against the back wall of the compound," Jesus explained, his focus on his gun as he checked to make sure that it was fully loaded. "It's probably better to sneak up from behind than to walk right up to the main entrance."

   "Lead the way, then," Rick ordered, inching his way down the slope towards the woods. The rest of them filed off, with Daryl bringing up the rear. Dead leaves and bracken that muted their footsteps crackled lightly, the only sound that existed between the seven of them. Occasionally, a bird would chirp, a lonely sound as it looked for any more of its kind, leaving Negan to his thoughts once again.

   She was back. She was home. At least he had that going for him. Rick, who lost Michonne, only had his retribution to push him forward right now. He was still mourning, and probably would be for a long time. In the conversations the two men had engaged in over the last year or so, he expressed no interest in moving on, even just to fuck someone.

   "That's not me, man," Rick had told him, shaking his head as they worked on the walls around Reedville. "It never was, even before Michonne. Or Lori."

   Negan envied him at that moment in time, because Rick had realized much earlier than he did that sex couldn't fill whatever was missing inside you. But love could. It also left you vulnerable, at the mercy of the person you loved. And he'd been so struck by how lucky he was when he found Gina. She'd never hurt him the way he'd wrecked her, and he'd made an unbreakable vow to himself to never take it for granted again. To never abuse the power that she'd given him over her heart.

   Jesus sped up his steps, getting down to his knees as the trees began to thin out, revealing an empty field, with a brick wall along the opposite side, holding Cleo's home.  
 

   They collected themselves, listening for any signs of life, and once they felt it was as safe as it was ever going to be, they skirted around the edge of the field, running hard to reach the cover of the brick wall. It was eerily quiet, and Negan popped his head up to scan the area. Given his height, he could just see over the edge if he stretched up on his toes. There were a few bodies scattered around, but none of them were moving.

   He turned around, cupping his hands as Carol stepped into them, and he hoisted her up, keeping her steady until she pulled herself all of the way up. The rest of them jumped, getting a good grip on the wall and using the lips of the bricks as leverage, scrambling up to the level walkway. These bitches were stupid to not raise their wall, the one good defense in a community, he thought, relieved that they'd corrected that mistake at home. Their own wall was now twice the height and fortified with steel and explosives set just outside the compound.

   Carol took the lead, guiding them along the edge of the community to the first cluster of houses. She came to an abrupt stop when she saw that the back door of one of the houses had been torn off, flung to the side. Before anyone could stop her, she took off into the house, followed by Ezekiel. Everyone else followed, with Negan last as he scanned the area to make sure no one was watching them.

   A woman was slumped face down in the middle of the living room, a single gunshot to the back of her head. She'd been executed, and not by them. The woman's shirt had been removed, and a patch of skin was missing from her shoulder.

   "This was one of the women who didn't show up at the party," she said, clutching her stomach. "Cleo must have killed her."

   "Well, why in the blue fucking hell is she missing a chunk of skin?" Negan asked, staring at the disgusting bloody patch.

   "Come on," she said, taking off again, this time through the front door. He and Rick exchanged a glance before following her as she ran between the houses across the street, zigzagging between yards as all of the men except Jesus struggled to keep up.

   Carol fumbled at a fence, yanking at the latch that secured the door before whipping it open and streaking towards yet another body that was lying on the ground near the house. Just like the other one, the body was face down and had been executed. It appeared to be an older woman, and though her clothes were on, her arm had been turned over so that her wrist was facing up, minus a small patch of skin.

   "Goddamn it," Carol screeched, slamming her gun on the ground in frustration.

   "Darling, if you could tell us what's happening," Ezekiel said, his voice fading as she turned her raging eyes on him.

   "She fucking murdered her own people. The ones we left alive because they were no goddamn threat. And she took their tattoos. The sick cunt cut out the tattoos that she made everyone get."

   Holding up her arm, Negan noticed for the first time that she did, in fact, have a tattoo now, a flower in bloom on her wrist. Daryl grunted next to him, and he and Carol exchanged a look as her face softened. He assumed it meant something to the two of them, and he wondered if Gina was marked.

   "She was," Carol murmured, freaking him out. Was it that transparent every fucking time he thought about her?

   "What did she get?" He was almost afraid to know for some reason.

   "Yours, Casey's and Michael's initials," she informed him before getting to her feet, regaining control of herself. He didn't know what to think at the moment other than the certainty that he didn't deserve her, and probably never would.

   The sun was starting to set as they entered the house that Gina and Carol had occupied for a month, and as soon as they got a few feet inside, the stench of death overpowered them, forcing Negan to breathe through his mouth. Bodies were everywhere, and Carol picked her way through them, shining her flashlight over each one, shaking her head as she pointed out the missing pieces of flesh on each one.

   What the fucking fuck was this Buffalo Bill bitch doing with this skin? Making a Hannibal Lecter fucking skin dress or something?

   He suppressed the urge to vomit, the first one to exit the house as he leaned against the wall, breathing as deeply as he could to cleanse his lungs and nose from the smell of death. Everyone else filed out a few minutes later, and Negan noticed that Carol was clutching Ezekiel's hand. Seeing this had no doubt had the effect that Cleo intended, and he was positive that she was long gone, but sure that they'd return to finish the job.

   The rest of the community told them nothing new. Only dead bodies with missing tattoos, and it wasn't until they rounded the front that all of them stopped in unison, stunned into near catatonia.

   Written on the siding of a white house in blood were only a few words, along with a smiley face.

 

  _I'll be coming for you, Gina_

 

   "We need to go, now," Rick ordered, pulling Negan as he stared unthinkingly at the words.


	99. Chapter 99

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, today's my birthday, and since I'm a responsible adult, I am putting out this chapter now, since I may not have much time this weekend. I hope you enjoy the reunion, though all is not smooth sailing.

  
  
**Gina**

 

   She was nauseous before she could even open her eyes, a wave of queasiness overtaking her system as Gina rolled to the side, heaving as bile flew out of her mouth, nearly choking her. The burning in her throat left her unable to breathe, and she coughed, trying to suck air into her lungs.

   Someone was holding her head, speaking softly into her ear as she continued to gag, unable to stop, feeling like she was going to suffocate.

   "It's going to be okay," said the voice, breaking through the waves of pain that throbbed in her skull, bouncing around like ping pong balls as she finally opened up her eyes, only seeing a blurry white coat, and a feeling of deja vu washed over her.

   Her hand was shaky as she brought it to her mouth, wiping away the remnants of what she'd just expelled. Confused about where she was and what happened, Gina could only lay back, trying to swallow through the burning that razed down her neck into her gut.

   Cool fingers brushed along her forehead, prompting her to try to refocus, her eyelids moving up and down slowly, blinded by a light shining directly above her.

   "What...what happened?" Her voice sounded froggy and rough to her ears as her eyeballs kept trying to turn towards each other, doubling her vision.

   "Tell me the last thing you remember, Gina," came the voice that sounded familiar, but she couldn't place it. But before she could answer, another wave of nausea took hold of her and she sat up, heaving into a banana bowl that was being held up to her face. The sudden switch to being vertical caused her head to swim and she couldn't stop throwing up, even though there was nothing in her system. She gagged for so long that her abdominal muscles began to cramp, forcing her to double over as she rubbed at them, making it impossible for her to straighten back up.

   A cool cup was placed into her hand, and she sucked it down, feeling the frigid liquid slide down her throat as she kept her eyes closed. The nausea abated minutely, and she opened her eyes again, breathing deeply through her nose and mouth at the same time.

   "Where am I?"

   "You're home." The voice came from beside her as she turned her head slightly, not registering right away that it was Dr. Thomas. He was watching her closely as she glanced around the room, still muddled as her brain tried to restart itself.

   "What do you remember?" he tried again as she turned her face towards him.

   She had to think for a minute, dredging up flashes of movement in her mind. Looking down, she saw that she was in a pair of slacks and a blouse, and it came flooding back all at one time, causing her to suck in her breath.

   "The party," she rumbled, lifting her hand to her head, trying to silence the pounding in her ears. "We had a party to round up Cleo's women."

   "That's good," he encouraged her, taking the cup from her lax grip as she noticed the ring on her finger. Her wedding ring. "Carol and the others brought you back."

   "She drugged me," Gina spat, recalling how she stumbled around the house, feeling out of control of her thoughts and movements. "Where is she?"

   Dr. Thomas set the cup down on the tray at her feet, pulling the chair forward so that he was only inches from her waist. His face was grave as he reached out, patting her on the knee.

   "The others went back to where you were staying to find the leader. It's my understanding that she and a few others weren't there with you. Is that right?"

   A montage of faces grew in her mind as she shut her eyes, doing a mental recall of the people that were there. She finally remembered after a moment that Cleo told her earlier in the day that she was going to meet Maria to interview a woman that had been found. Oh, God. Annabeth.

   "I need to go," she muttered, swinging her legs off of the table, fighting a wave of dizziness and ignoring Dr. Thomas's attempts to keep her seated.

   "You can't go anywhere," he insisted, getting up to place his hands firmly on her shoulders. "You need to rest. Besides, they've been gone for hours. It's already dark."

   "You don't understand," she said, pushing his hands away. "This woman is deranged. She's unstable, and if she came back, everyone's in danger. Everyone."

   He was unmoved, unwilling to let her leave, and she was half off of the table before it struck her. Negan wasn't here with her.

   The pounding sensation intensified, and it wasn't from the pain in her head. Her pulse started to race as she began to hyperventilate. "He went," she rambled. "He went, didn't he?"

   Dr. Thomas didn't reply, squatting down with her as she crouched on the floor, her head falling into her hands. Negan couldn't go there, he couldn't be anywhere near Cleo.

   As soon as she found out what happened, she'd do anything to destroy everything that ever mattered to Gina. She'd kill him, torture him.

   She began to cry, doubled over as her heart and her body broke at the same time. Time passed, how much she didn't know as she wept on the floor, completely despondent until she felt soft hands under her chin, lifting her face.

   Talia was sitting down next to her, and she pulled Gina into her arms, rocking her as she sobbed.

   "Why did you let him go?" she moaned, sure that he was dead. "Why?"

   "Gina, you know God himself couldn't have stopped him when he saw you, and when he heard that it wasn't over."

   "But I came back to him," she babbled into Talia's neck. "I came back like I promised and he's not here."

   Nothing Talia said could comfort her, and Gina ended up crying herself back to sleep for a time, waking only when her legs began to tingle, numb from sitting on the hard tiles. Her headache felt about a hundred times worse as she let Talia help her to her feet.

   "My kids," she said, looking towards the door. "Where are my babies?"

   "They're safe," Talia assured her. "All of the kids and the people most at risk are staying near the docks, just in case. I checked on them a little bit ago, and they're asleep. You can see them in the morning. But you can't go home right now. You have to stay here."

   "I need to at least get a shower. I feel like shit."

   "I'll be right back," her sister said, disappearing out the door as she took tentative steps around the room. This was worse than the worst hangover she'd ever experienced, and she was pretty sure that Dr. Thomas wasn't going to give her any pain medication for the situation she was in, given what she'd just flushed out of her body. She'd just have to tough it out, though she'd give anything to be sedated again to save herself from the scenarios that were running through her brain, all involving Cleo taking out what they'd done to her people on Negan.

   Using her forearm to wipe her eyes, she leaned against the window, staring out into the night. There were no lights on in the town, so she couldn't see anything but blackness. Once again, there was no moon out, not even any stars that she could see.

   The door opened and Talia beckoned her to join her, leading her down the hall to a bathroom where a fresh towel and toiletries were sitting on the counter. The sight of a pair of scrubs caused her to shudder, and she almost tossed them back out the door. But it was either wear them or put the clothes she was wearing back on. The clean clothes were the logical choice, and she stripped down, turning on the shower.

   Once she stepped in, Gina let her mind wander, reliving the significant events of the past month. From her first meeting with Cleo through the moment she lost consciousness in the kitchen with Carol, she tried to search her mind for anything that she wasn't picking up on, something she overlooked, growing frustrated when nothing sprang to mind. No details jumped out at her other than the sheer madness that the woman possessed. Gina couldn't recall any conversations that the two had where she'd mentioned any other long-term communities that Cleo had lived in. Somewhere she'd go if she had to leave the compound for any reason.

   Feeling defeated, she turned off the water, drying herself off and dressing in the scrubs, which were neither green nor red. They were a navy blue, and she brushed her teeth, wiping the steam off of the mirror as she studied herself. There were large bags under her eyes, which looked dull, even to herself. _Please come back,_ Negan _. Come back to me_.

   Wiping her face, she opened the door, trudging back down the hall to find Talia and Dr. Thomas waiting for her in the exam room with a plate of food. She sat down on the couch without a word, picking at the sandwich that one of them had made for her, forcing herself to take a few bites to coat her stomach as they watched her.

   "I have a spare room upstairs that I can set you up in," Dr. Thomas offered, taking off his glasses and wiping them on the hem of his shirt as Gina shook her head.

   "Thanks, doc, but I'll just sleep on the couch."

   "You need to get some real rest," Talia said, but Gina held up her hand, stopping her.

   "That's all I've done for the past day, Talia," she replied, setting the sandwich down. "I'll be fine down here. Really. Go get some rest, both of you."

   Deciding not to press the issue, Talia got to her feet, kissing her on the head before leaving. It wasn't until she was alone again that Gina realized she didn't even ask her sister if Daryl went, too. Since he wasn't with her, she figured he'd gone along, wanting to be there if Cleo was possibly able to be killed.

   As she lay on the couch, staring up at the ceiling, Gina wondered what happened after Carol took her out of the equation. Did she think Gina couldn't handle herself? Was she afraid she'd chicken out? Her thoughts then turned to the men, and she hoped that they'd all made it out safely, cursing herself for not getting more answers from Talia or Dr. Thomas.

   Eventually, she drifted off, fractured images and dreams haunting her as she slept. At one point, she was back at the compound, surrounded by the corpses of everyone she loved. Negan, Rick, Daryl, Jesus. They were all scattered across the ground as she picked her way through a mass of bodies. Each one staring up at the sky, their eyes no longer seeing anything. She would shake them, but they were gone. There were no marks on them, no bullet holes, but they were dead, and she knew it was her fault. She'd brought them right to Cleo, handed them up on a silver platter to her.

   Cleo was in front of her, appearing out of nowhere as she stood, frozen, unable to move or speak. Gina could only watch as Cleo kicked at the bodies before wrapping her hands around Gina's throat, kissing her as she choked her, whispering into her face.

   "You did this," she breathed, licking at Gina's lips as she smiled, choking the life out of her. "You did all of this, and it didn't make a difference. You still belong to me."

   Gasping, she flew up, clawing at her neck to find Carol sitting on a chair next to her, her hands clenched together. The two women stared at each other until Carol's eyes filled with tears.

   Gina looked away, caught somewhere between anger and acceptance, and with a deep breath, she reached out, taking Carol's hand in her own, remaining quiet as she broke down.

   "I'm sorry."

   With a yank of her arm, she pulled the older woman onto the couch with her, hugging her as they each cried, the only two people in the world who understood what they went through. When they let go of each other, Gina wiped Carol's face, removing the tear tracks that ran down her cheeks.

   "You can't save everyone," Gina murmured, looking into her eyes.

   "Neither can you."

   Huffing, Gina rolled her eyes, the truth stinging, and she knew right then why Carol did it. She didn't want Gina to follow in her footsteps. Didn't want the events of the past haunting her at every turn.

   A light knock at the door broke the little bubble that the two women were in, and when she called out for whoever it was to enter, she was greeted with several people at once. Rick, Daryl, Jesus and Aaron all filed in, surrounding her as she got up, still holding Carol's hand.

   Rick was the first one to reach out to her, pulling her into a tight hug as she rested her head on his shoulder. He didn't say anything, handing her off to Daryl, whose embrace was just as firm, but shorter. Aaron took her from there, shaking harder than she was as she looked at Jesus over his shoulder, her eyes filling up with tears as he smiled at her.

   He was the last to greet her, letting her cry again on his shoulder as he murmured into her ear, reassuring her that they were okay.

   "Is he here?" she asked once everyone grabbed a seat, forming a circle as she curled back up on the couch with Carol.

   "He wants to see you alone as soon as we're done," Rick informed her, taking her other hand. "We went to find Cleo," he said as she nodded, already aware of that fact.

   "She wasn't there," Jesus told her, a twinge of uneasiness in his voice as she watched him closely. Something was wrong. Everyone seemed just a bit off, and it wasn't just disappointment.

   "Just tell me whatever horrible thing you have to tell me," she said dully, expecting the worst.

   "Cleo did come back at one point," Carol said, her hand tightening around Gina's slightly. "She killed everyone that we didn't, and she cut off their tattoos for some reason."

   Tendrils of panic began to trickle down the top of her head, snaking their way down her spine as she processed the information. From the way the others were looking between themselves, she knew this wasn't the only bad news they were bringing her.

   "What else? That's not the only thing that happened."

   Rick hesitated, weighing his words carefully before speaking.

   "She left a message."

   Gina blinked at him, not understanding. "A message?"

   "She left a bloody message on one of the houses," he told her, shifting forward. "That she's coming for you."

   The words hit her like a bolt of lightning, and she dropped Carol's hand, lurching to her feet.

   "You all need to leave," she told them, pushing Rick away as he tried to grab her. "You need to get out of here, now. Go to the Sanctuary or Arcadia."

   "We're not going anywhere."

   "You don't get it," she said, her voice getting louder with every word. "She's nuts. She'll kill you all, and she'll do it in front of me. She'll make me watch as she wipes out anyone that means anything to me. I can't do it. I can't have you be a part of it."

   He took a hold of her, trying to calm her down, but it was too late. Their bodies were on the ground, and Cleo was right. She did this. She killed them all.

   "Gina," he said, but she shook her head back and forth, refusing to listen to him.

   "You have to go," she repeated, trying to break free, to push him out of the room. "Please," she begged.

   Negan burst into the area, alerted by her shouts, and she locked eyes with him, seeing him for the first time in a month, all of the fight leaving her. She was limp as Rick let go of her, ordering everyone to leave the room.

   The others shuffled out, and she and Negan stood a few feet apart, still staring at each other. She couldn't read him, couldn't decipher why his eyes were so golden. His eyes always told her the truth, and she didn't know this color, what it meant.

   She opened her mouth, but nothing came out, only a rush of breath as he flew towards her, scooping her up in his arms as she clung to him, crying again. He was here, and he was holding her. It wasn't a dream, and it wasn't fleeting. He clutched her to him for an indeterminable amount of time, sighing softly as she buried her face in his neck, shuddering as she shut her eyes, breathing him in, the smell that defined her very existence.

   "You have to leave," she begged him, clinging to him tighter as he tried to pull himself back. "You have to take the kids away."

   "No, baby."

   "Negan," she whimpered, her nails digging into his neck as she shook, "she'll hurt you. She'll steal you away and hurt you."

   He pried himself free, taking her face in his hands, running his thumbs across her cheeks as he smiled tenderly at her. "I won't let her. She'll never terrorize you again."

   "You don't know her," Gina whispered, grabbing at his shirt, balling it in her fist. "You don't know what she's capable of. She's going to hunt me down. She'll never stop until she makes me suffer for what we did. Cleo is the craziest person I've ever seen."

   "Gina," he said, gripping her face securely so that she had to look at him, "none of us is leaving. You can't hide us away and think that's going to change anything."

   She could feel her chin trembling as she tried to think of something that could convince him to listen to her, to take her seriously.

   "Listen to me," he told her, knowing exactly what she was doing. "Do you think she's going to come here right away?"

   "No," she replied after a moment. "No. She'll go somewhere to regroup and to plan. She'll probably build up her numbers again, and try to get her hands on more weapons."

   "Okay. So let's come up with a plan of our own."

   He was trying to placate her, to get her to stand down, and she started to argue but he cut her off. "We'll figure something out, even if it means relocating some of the people here. But I'm telling you now, I'm not leaving."

   Negan's voice was firm, even as his golden eyes scanned her face, his own softening as his lips parted, inching closer to her own. When they finally made contact, she let out a moan, causing him to pull her tight against his chest, his hands leaving her face to slide down her neck. Any thoughts that were running through her head evaporated as his tongue found its way into her mouth, sending sparks of excitement down to her toes, at least briefly.

   There were four feelings battling each other as they stood there, and three of them won out. Shame, guilt, and anger over everything that she'd done choked out the love that she was feeling, and she pushed him away, shocking him.

   "I can't do this right now," she said, fleeing the room, leaving him standing there confused.

  _You did this, Gina. You still belong to me_.


	100. Chapter 100

  
   Gina continued to rock in the chair, even though Michael was already asleep, breathing steadily into her neck with his mouth open, little bits of drool collecting on her shoulder. She didn't mind it. How could she? She'd missed it for so long, and he'd grown more than she thought he would. Though he still had chubby cheeks, another tooth had broken through while she was gone, and he'd slimmed down slightly as he went through a growth spurt. Even his hair was longer, beginning to thicken up, no longer just silky black strands laying across his scalp.

 

   The first time she held him after she returned home, her arms began to ache after only a few minutes. Michael was iffy with her for only around a day or so, but once she got up with him the second night, he seemed to remember her better, to be more comfortable with her as she murmured softly into his hair, walking him around his nursery as he played with her face, his fingers clenching and unclenching as he grasped her jaw.

   Casey was a far tougher nut to crack. The initial look of joy on her face at seeing Gina disappeared, leaving a veneer of betrayal and simmering anger, and she'd refused to hug her, fleeing to her room past Gina's outstretched arms, wounding her so deeply that Gina snatched up Michael, taking him to her room and leaving it only to feed and change him.

   No matter what she did, someone was unhappy with her. She left to save the people she loved and they were mad at her. She returned, and her own child resented her.

   Negan was no better, treating her like she was going to shatter like a piece of thin glass. Most of the time, he barely made eye contact with her, focusing more on Casey, and they once again slept in separate rooms.

   The third day after she came back, she and Michael were sitting in the dining room, eating breakfast when Casey and Negan joined her, both of them sitting on the opposite side of the table. The baby was the only one to talk, babbling as he ate dry cereal, oblivious to everyone else's demeanor. Exhausted from trying to please everyone, Gina didn't bother attempting a conversation with anyone, shoveling her breakfast into her mouth at record speed before taking Michael up to his room to get dressed.

   Spring had arrived, and it was balmy and warm out, so she decided to take him out to the docks to watch the ships that were coming and going, set up at regular intervals to replenish their food supply. As the two came down the steps, she heard Casey talking to Negan.

   "Why doesn't she love me anymore?" Casey asked, causing her to pause in her steps.

   "Casey," Negan sighed, and she could hear the scrape of a chair. "Mom loves you more than anything in the world. She's just trying to adjust to being back. Some things happened when she was there that were upsetting, and you being mad at her hurt her feelings."

   "I can't help it," she said, her voice cracking. "Parents aren't supposed to leave you. And she didn't even say goodbye."

   "When you're older, you'll understand," he soothed her as Gina's heart pounded, the blood rushing through her veins nearly drowning out the two of them. "If she would've seen you before she left, she may not have been able to go. It was a hard decision for her to make, but she did it because she thought that it was the only way to keep you and Michael safe."

   It may have been the guilt that she was feeling, but Gina could swear that she heard condemnation in his voice, and before she could lash out, she walked past the two of them without acknowledging them, escaping the house as Michael squealed happily in her arms.

   Breathing heavily, she sped down the street, ignoring the few people that attempted to talk to her as she passed by them. She didn't trust herself to even hold a superficial conversation with anyone.

   "I can never do anything right," she muttered to herself, blinking back tears as she hoisted the baby up in arms, gripping him to her chest.

   The ocean breeze was warm, blowing softly against her skin as she walked to the end of the dock, plopping down on the edge, letting her legs hang over the side, turning Michael so that he could see out over the water.

   A few minutes later, she could hear the sound of footsteps behind her, and Rick sat down next to her without a word, holding out his hand as Michael reached for it, clasping his finger with a screech.

   "Do you want to talk?" he finally asked, keeping his head turned towards the water.

   "Talk about what?" she asked. "About the fact that my own child hates me? Or that Negan can't even look me in the eye? That you all thought I was wrong for going in the first place? How about the fact that I failed, and Cleo is still out there?"

   He went to say something, but she continued over him. "We could talk about how she's going to rip this town apart, thanks to me. She'll burn it down, and take all of you away from me, killing you quickly if you're lucky. But not me. I'll get to witness it all. And then she'll torture me," she said, shivering as she imagined all the possibilities that awaited her. "Who knows? She could even murder Michael and Casey."

   Her voice broke at the end, and Gina's head dropped as Rick pulled Michael from her arms, saying nothing.

   "Which of those things sound most appealing to talk about? Or am I acting like a martyr?"

   Rick climbed awkwardly to his feet with her son, leaving her alone as she stared out blindly at the water, not noticing the boat that was sailing into the port, or the bustle of people behind her.

_You still belong to me, Gina._

   She knew the words were true. She belonged to Cleo now. The woman had invaded her psyche and Gina carried her with her everywhere. A specter that loomed over her shoulder, whispering things, horrible things into her ear.

    _You'll pay for what you've done. You'll never escape me._

   It could've been minutes or hours, she wasn't sure, when Rick returned, holding out his hand to help her to her feet. She said nothing as he led her towards the warehouse, down the hall to her office, where a group of people were congregating.

   Carol, Ezekiel, Jesus, Daryl, Talia, Clinton, Devin, and Trevor were all there, watching her cautiously as Rick deposited her on the couch. She folded herself up into a ball, tucking her knees to her chest as she looked at the ground, unable to make eye contact with any of them.

   Rick cleared his throat, no doubt hoping to make her look up, but she didn't. She could hear him exhale loudly, but she didn't react in any way.

   "I'm leaving for the Sanctuary," he said, finally getting a response from her as her head whipped up, her eyes narrowing in suspicion.

   "Why?"

   "I'm going to ask Dwight to take in all of our people that are at risk, including the kids."

   Gina looked to Carol, who nodded reassuringly.

   "We'll send everyone there so that they're safe."

   The knot of fear and guilt that was constricting her heart loosened slightly, though it didn't disappear, and she closed her eyes momentarily in solace.

   "Thank you."

   His head bobbed up and down as he walked past her, with Daryl and Clinton following behind him. Carol stayed behind everyone else, perching next to her on the couch as she unfolded her legs, wrapping her arms around her chest.

   "None of them understand," she said, watching as an ant crawled on the floor near her foot. It scuttled around in a circle before shooting off towards the wall.

   "They never will, unless, God forbid, they see it firsthand," Carol replied, leaning back heavily on the cushion. "It doesn't make them unsympathetic."

   "I'm not looking for sympathy," Gina hissed, finally looking at the other woman.

   "I didn't say you were," she replied mildly, used to Gina's temper. "You don't deserve condemnation, either."

   "I don't know what I deserve," Gina muttered, feeling an overwhelming sense of dread, so much so that she pulled herself into a ball again, hoping to shield herself from what was coming. Who was coming for her.

 

 

   Rick returned the following morning with the good news that Dwight would take in their residents, holding an emergency meeting to alert the town. Most of the people were scared, thrown off by the news, but he and Negan assured them that it was just a precaution.

   Talia agreed to go with them, caring for her and Gina's kids, much to Gina's relief. It calmed her somewhat to know that Talia would be there, able to protect them if anything went wrong. If she died.

   That morning, she steeled herself to tell Casey, knocking on her door and walking in without waiting for a response. The little girl was watching her warily as she sat down on the floor, peering up at her.

   "I love you, Casey," she said, her heart burning as Casey's face melted, her eyes filling with tears. "I understand why you're mad at me, but I had to do it. I had to try anything I could to keep you safe. Part of being a parent is making hard decisions, ones you don't want to. Oftentimes, they rip a hole in your heart, especially when it causes pain to the one person you're trying to protect. But I love you, bug. Even if you hate me forever, that will never change."

   Casey scrambled off the bed, dropping to her knees as she cried, flinging her little arms around Gina's neck, and she pulled her onto her lap, murmuring words of love into her ear, her own tears falling down her cheeks, landing on Casey's shoulder. They sat together for a long time, just holding each other until Gina pulled back so that they were eye to eye.

   "There's one more thing that you're going to need to forgive me for," she told Casey softly, making sure that she was understanding the sentiment behind her words.

   "What, momma?"

   "To keep you safe until this other woman is gone, you and Michael and Aunt Talia are going to stay in another community," she said, holding up her finger as Casey opened her mouth. "It's only for a little while, and I need you to be strong for me. I need you to do this for me."

   "But I can protect you," Casey said, placing her hands on Gina's cheeks, forcing her to listen. "I know how to shoot. Daddy taught me and I can help you."

   "Oh, baby," she sighed, placing her hands on top of Casey's, "your only job right now is to be a little girl. And I need you to take care of Michael. Can you do that for me? Please?"

   The two sat facing each other for several seconds until Casey nodded slightly, and Gina pulled her back to her chest, just holding her as she thought about how she was going to let them go again.

   Negan opened the door, and she let Casey get to her feet, rising after her. They held hands, passing by Negan. That night, she slept in Casey's room, running her hands through her long, brown curls as she slept, keeping a watchful eye on her even though she was exhausted, thinking about how this little angel was the only thing to bring her happiness, once upon a time.

   Now she was doing the same thing with Michael, rocking him, the sweet scent of baby powder wafting up from his head. His bags and supplies were stacked in the corner, ready for their move to the Sanctuary in the morning.

  Negan and Rick had been back and forth between communities several times over the last two days, each time only leaving after Daryl and Clinton swept the area around their home. The two hunters had declared the roads clear, with no signs of anyone or anything out of place. Still, Gina couldn't shake the feeling, the dreadful sensation that Cleo was nearby, watching. Waiting.

   Michael shifted on her chest, letting out a sleepy whimper, his head nodding down, and she took him over to his crib, laying him down carefully. Leaning over on her tiptoes, she placed the softest of kisses on his forehead, overcome with sadness.

   Instead of going to her bed, she crept down the steps and out the back door, whiskey and cigarettes in her hands as she made her way to the dock, stopping short when she saw a figure already there. It was Negan, and she almost turned around and went back in, wanting to be alone with her self-inflicted misery, but she continued on after a beat, sitting down alongside him as she twisted off the cap, taking a sip.

   She set the bottle between them, her eyes closing involuntarily as the alcohol caused her throat to constrict. Neither one spoke, the waves making all of the noise as they both seemed lost inside their own heads. Gina knew that fissure that erupted between them was growing into a chasm as wide as the Grand Canyon. Ever since she'd pushed him away, he hadn't tried to bridge the gap, and neither did she.

   Gina didn't know how to, too ashamed of what she'd done, what she'd allowed to happen. And he didn't appear to understand how she felt. It was different than the time before Annabeth, before their breakup. The tension was unique, but again, she couldn't bring herself to step off of the edge, to let him catch her before she hit the bottom.

   Negan took a drink, breathing stoutly through his nose as he set the bottle down with a clink. He brushed his hand over hers, but she flinched away from him, afraid to let him comfort her, knowing it would bring only tears and panic. She could hear him grumble under his breath, getting up to leave her there alone.

   She didn't bother going into their room to sleep, instead falling into a light slumber on the couch.

   It was gray outside, matching her mood as she stood near the truck that was going to take her kids to the Sanctuary, and she clutched Michael to her as she watched Negan load up their bags, with Casey at his side. There were over three dozen people being moved to the Sanctuary, including Don, the first man she met at Cleo's compound, and Andrew, the young kid who was brought in with Jesus. They were the only two that came to Reedville with Carol when she fled, the others choosing to go off on their own.

   Gina had spent only a few minutes with each man after she became aware of their existence in their community, only able to stomach a brief talk with each. Don was nervous around her, which she understood, and Andrew couldn't have said more than a handful of words to her, deferring to Carol. They were traumatized, having only seen Gina as a companion of Cleo's. They held no such notions of Carol, seen as their rescuer, even though she'd explained to them that Gina was a friend and ally, not with Cleo.

   With a strangled sob, she handed Michael off to Negan, who put him in the backseat of the truck, and Casey came up to her as she squatted down, hugging her as she stood stiffly.

   "My girl," she whispered, kissing her cheek. "You may not have come from my body, but you are my daughter. You're in my soul and my heart, never forget that."

   Casey began to cry, and Gina picked her up, leaning against the side of the truck as everyone else began to pile into the vehicles to make the journey. Before she lost her nerve and snatched the kids away, she set Casey in the truck next to Michael, buckling her seatbelt as she sniffled.

   "I love you," she choked out, squeezing Casey's hand before slamming the door. She'd already said her goodbyes to everyone else, including Talia and Evelyn. Aaron and Jesus were going as well, under Rick's direction to make sure they were protected.

   Fighting the sickness in her stomach, she stood at the edge of the gates, watching as the caravan rolled out, not missing the sight of Casey turning around to watch her as she got further away, finally rounding the bend out of sight. They were gone, and she was a prisoner behind the walls. A prisoner of her own making.

   Gina spent the rest of the day avoiding everyone, including Carol. She'd knocked on the door, calling for Gina to let her in, but she didn't answer. She hid upstairs like a coward, wandering through Casey and Michael's rooms like a demented spirit, unable to see them or touch them, the anger growing until it spilled out all over Negan when he returned as the sun went down. She couldn't take her rage out on Cleo, and he was the closest target.

   "Hey," he murmured after walking through the door, finding her sitting at the table, staring down at her hands, clenched so tightly into fists that they were shaking.  
 

   Gina didn't look up or answer, knowing that if she did she'd release a wave of fury over him that he didn't deserve. But he didn't read the signs, even knowing her so well, and he came alongside her, resting his hand on her shoulder until she knocked it off, standing up so quickly that the chair teetered, nearly falling to the floor.

   "Gina," he said in frustration as she pushed past him.

   "Fuck off," she growled, taking the steps two at a time to get away from him, but he was wasn't going to be brushed off, chasing after her as she flew into the bedroom, pushing the door shut. He caught it before it closed and he yanked her by the arm to get her to face him.

   "Stop taking everything out on me," he charged, glaring at her as she wrestled her arm away from him. "None of this is my fault."

   Right.

   "Just say it, motherfucker," she swore, smacking his chest as she charged forward. "It's my fault. I'm the one that did this."

   Negan refused to back up, his face twisting into something so ugly that it almost knocked her back to her senses.

   "I've never fucking blamed you for any of this, so don't try to put that shit on me. All I've ever done is try to help you. But you won't talk to me."

   He struck out like a snake, holding her arms in a viselike grip. "Just fucking talk to me. Tell me what happened to you there."

    Self-preservation kicked in, not just physically, but also mentally, and Gina twisted her arms over the top of his, breaking his hold again, shoving him so hard in the chest that he stumbled back, hitting the door with a grunt.

   "You stupid fuck," she raged, losing any sense of decorum or tact, "You already know. Carol told you everything. Are you some kind of kinky sick pervert? Do you want all the dirty details? Do you want to know how I had to strip down naked in front of Cleo's lackeys, and pretend to jack Jesus off?"

  Negan's eyes widened, but she darted forward, pushing his arms against the wall so that he couldn't get a hold on her, the words flowing out like water.

   "Maybe it would get you off to know I had to simulate sticking his dick inside me as I cried. Does it make you hard to know that I bounced up and down on top of him while Cleo watched me, loving every minute of it? Or would you rather know how I had to deliver an escaped prisoner to her door in order to prove myself. That poor fucking soul ended up being slaughtered to feed Shiva."

   Gina was unhinged, every memory flying out of her mouth like she had Tourette's, unable to control it. "I held his flesh in my hand, another goddamned human being who didn't deserve to die, was food for an animal. I tossed pieces of his body into a cage."

   "Stop," he roared, launching himself away from the door towards her, catching her off guard as he turned her around, wrapping his arms around her to keep her from hitting him. "That's enough, for fuck's sake, Gina. You've lost your mind."

  Her head reared back, striking him in the sternum, and his hold loosened, allowing her to duck out of his arms. Had it been two months ago, she would've taken off, gone anywhere to get away from him, but now, she was too far gone to care.

   "Yes, I've lost my mind," she taunted him, looking at him as if she'd never seen him before. "I've lost my babies, I've lost my sense of self, and I've lost everything that ever meant anything to me. Don't think I don't remember the way you were looking at me after I killed John."

   Negan was red all over, his eyes so black that she wasn't sure if his pupils were completely dilated or that his eyes had changed color again. She knew that it meant danger, but she stood her ground, facing him head on.

   "I was worried for you, you ungrateful bitch. I never wanted to see you in that situation. You need serious fucking help."

   "Pardon me, but I won't be taking any fucking advice about my mental health from some asshole who used to smile when he'd beat some innocent person's brains in with a barbed-wire baseball bat. At least I didn't enjoy what I did, you pathetic shithead. Do you even remember the names of the people you beat to death? Abraham? Glenn? Do they ring any bells?"

 _You belong to me_.

   It was the lowest of low blows, and he barrelled towards her, lifting her up like a rag doll, flinging her on the bed as she clasped her hands over her ears, trying to stifle Cleo's voice in her head.

   Negan pried Gina's hands from her head, pinning her down as he straddled her waist, putting his weight on her to keep her from freeing herself. She was panting, screaming as he slid his fingers between hers.

   "I don't belong to you anymore," she screeched, slamming her head down. "Don't you get it?"

   "Gina, stop," he begged, closing his hands over hers, not moving as she gradually became still. Her chest was bobbing up and down at a frantic pace as she stared at him, her eyes roaming over his face.

   "Please," she moaned, pushing against his hands. Her body was in overdrive, and she felt a tingling down her chest as she sensed his arms slacken, allowing her to disentangle her fingers from his, moving them to his face, pulling him towards her.

   "I need you to get me back," she pleaded, kissing him as he collapsed on top of her, bracing her head with his forearms. Pushing her way into his mouth, their tongues met, hot breath billowing out around her lips as he pushed his pelvis in against hers until he broke the kiss, raking his tongue down her neck.

   Gina closed her eyes, still breathing erratically as Negan skimmed his left hand along her side, reaching under her shirt to fondle her breast, his thumb rubbing back and forth over the material of her bra, forcing her nipple to harden underneath his touch.

    _I don't belong to you_.

   Goosebumps formed along her skin as he used his other hand to lift her shirt up to her neck, getting to his knees so that he could spread her legs.

   "Look at me," he ordered, waiting for her to comply before he proceeded. His eyes were still black and stormy as he hovered over her, studying hers. She was still holding his face, and she trailed the tips of her fingers down the sides of his neck, over his shoulders and down along the muscles that were standing out on his arms.

   "This isn't right," he told her, even though she could see that he was aroused. "Not like this." Stretching out her arm, she rubbed him through his jeans, eliciting a rumble from deep in his chest. His eyes rolled back, giving her the opportunity to undo the button on his pants, slipping her hand inside, the first time she'd touched him in weeks.

  "I need you," she insisted, working her hand up and down until he righted himself so that he was looking down at her from his knees, giving her the chance to sit up.

   Letting go, Gina removed her shirt as he did the same, leaning forward to kiss his chest as he unclasped her bra, yanking it down her arms. As she sucked on the smooth skin of his torso, his stomach clenched, and he gripped the back of her head, tipping it upward.

   Backing off the bed, Negan finished undressing, and she took a shuddering breath at the sight of his naked body. He was beautiful, more chiseled than she remembered, and she scrambled to the edge, hurriedly removing the rest of her clothes as he ran his lips along her jaw, cupping her breasts in each hand, kneading them gently.

   Once she was completely bare, he slowly moved his hands further down, along the curve of her waist to the base of her spine, sweeping them along her backside to her thighs, hoisting her up as she held onto his shoulders, steadying herself as he carried her to the wall, resting her against it as she wrapped her legs around his waist.

   With one hand, he positioned himself at her entrance, thrusting up inside her with a grunt, pushing her firmly against the wall as she gasped, feeling full as he got in so deep that she was sure that he'd push right through her. Every thrust lifted her up, rubbing her skin against the smooth surface of the wall, and she dug her nails into his skin, their cheeks resting against each other as he did most of the work, his hips rotating with every push, causing a rush of friction against hers.

   Baring her teeth, she bit at the base of his neck, sucking so hard that she could see him wince out of the corner of her eye. Suddenly, he whipped her around, carrying her over to the dresser, using one hand to sweep everything off of it, the sound of her jewelery and personal effects hitting the floor making her jump.

   Gina unwrapped her legs, leaning back against the mirror as he gripped her thighs, angling himself before resuming his assault on her body, plunging himself in and out so fast that she thought she might break in half. Once he was sure she'd keep her legs in the position he wanted, Negan let one go to stimulate her, moving his thumb in small circles as she arched her back, giving into the sensations that were swirling through her body.

   Her mind was blank, no thoughts of Cleo or their fight, only the feel of him inside her, the cool, sleek mirror against her back, and his lips on her skin. The pressure built steadily, making her palms slick with sweat, and her hands slid down his chest as she cried out, shaking from head to toe from gratification.

   Negan was still hard, still unfulfilled as she recovered, and she inched forward when she could, sucking on his bottom lip while she kneaded his ass, feeling him tense up underneath her, groaning into her mouth as he came, his strokes becoming erratic as she tightened around his entire body, squeezing him as he dropped his head onto her shoulder, pumping his hips a few more times until he finally went still, the two of them breathing heavily against each other.

   Once she came down from her high, shame started to make its way through her body, replacing all of the good feelings she'd just experienced, and she untangled herself from him, jumping down from the dresser, avoiding his questioning look as she picked up her clothes, dressing rapidly.

   "I'll be back," she said over his shoulder, rushing from the room before he could respond, stopping at the base of the steps for her shoes, putting them on as she walked. The front door closed softly behind her as she hurried down the steps into the dark, towards a house that she'd never gone to before. front door closed softly behind her as she hurried down the steps into the dark, towards a house that she'd never gone to before.

   The demons were back, and she felt the back of her neck tingling as she walked up the steps to the stately home, using her knuckles to rap on the glass, bouncing from foot to foot as the porch light flipped on, throwing her under its unforgiving glare.

   The curtain lifted before dropping back in place, and a second later, Gina heard the lock click. When the door opened, she began to cry.

  "Can we talk?"


	101. Chapter 101

  
   It was after midnight when Gina returned home, finding the house dark. Shutting the door quietly, she tiptoed up the steps, trying not to wake the kids until she realized too late that they weren't there. Both of their doors were open, and the beds were empty, the moonlight shining on Casey's bed illuminating the emptiness of the house.

   She took hesitant steps towards her room, unsure of what she would find, but the lights were off and Negan was laying on his side, facing the windows. As quietly as she could, she slipped off her pants, nearly falling over when the lamp switched on, though his head never moved.

   Tossing her jeans on the chair, she crawled onto the bed, experiencing heart palpitations from the surprise of him being awake. He was still facing away from her, and she crossed her legs, pulling her pillow to her chest as she watched his breathing speed up. Shirtless, he had the covers low on his waist, his arm resting on his hip. His hair was mussed, and she reached out to smooth it back, deciding against it at the last minute.

   "I'm so sorry for the things I said to you," Gina told him, not expecting a response and not getting one. "I didn't mean any of it."

   Negan refused to move, so she leaned over him, turning off the lamp, laying as far away from him as she could. She was almost asleep when he spoke, jolting her out of her drowsy state.

   "I remember every person I've killed, even the ones that deserved it."

   With the cover of night protecting her, Gina rolled over, able to make out his form in the shadows, the shape of his shoulders tinged by the faint light coming in from outside.

   "I didn't mean it," she repeated, feeling like a monster. One of the bad things about being with someone so long was that you knew their weak spots. The most sensitive parts of their persona. "I love you. I couldn't have been with you this long if I thought you were a bad person. I just knew it was the easiest way to hurt you."

   He shifted slightly, and his voice was laden with sadness when he responded. "I used to think I was the right kind of bad person."

   Gina knew what he meant, but she didn't know what to say. He'd done unspeakable things, and so had she. So how do they consider themselves productive members of society, raising impressionable lives?

   "I went to see Bethany," she finally said, earning herself a face to face conversation as he rolled over.

   "Bethany? Why?"

   "I don't know," she admitted, running her finger across the cool part of her pillow, feeling the seam of the pillow case on her skin. "I guess because she's an impartial jury. She doesn't have an emotional investment in what happened, at the very least, and I just wanted to talk to someone who could listen to what I had to say with a neutral viewpoint to tell me if the things I've done can be forgiven. Or something."

   "Gina, you don't need to be forgiven for anything."

   "I feel that I do," she told him, "mostly from you."

   Negan reached behind him to turn on the light, but she grabbed his arm to stop him, preferring to talk in the dark so that he couldn't see her face. Or more importantly that she couldn't see his.

   "We're supposed to be a team," she sighed, "and I made a decision without even talking it over with you. I thought I was doing it for the right reasons, but looking back, if you'd have done the same thing, I would've been hurt. Fuck, even when you went with Rick to Alexandria, I got pissed."

   He lifted her hand from his arm, placing the back of it to his lips, and she curled her fingers, scooting closer to him. "I don't know if you'll remember this, but one time after we slept together at the Sanctuary, you actually stayed and held me. It was one of the first times that you had, and you asked me what I was thinking about."

   "Mmmhmm," he murmured, "I vaguely remember."

   Gina could picture it in her mind, laying on his chest as he ran his fingers along her arm, chest hairs brushing her cheek. They'd lain together so many times since then, but thinking back to those early days with him, when all they had at that point was their physical attraction to each other to bind them brought up some conflicting feelings.

   "I told you that I wondered why you ended up at the Sanctuary instead of Alexandria."

   "Oh, yeah," he mumbled, his stubble scratching against her hand as he spoke. "You theorized that I lost something, and because of that I wanted everything."

   "You got up almost immediately, and you never answered me, so I assumed I was right. But not long after that was when I realized that I was starting to care very deeply about you. And I wanted, or hoped, that you would be happy with just having me."

   "I am."

   Gina used her free hand to run her fingers through his hair, hearing him exhale deeply, as if he had been waiting for her to do it.

   "I know that now, but the reason I'm bringing this up is because when I first met Cleo, I immediately thought about you. She's beautiful and formidable, and my first thought when I saw her was that if you two had found each other at the beginning, you'd have been like moths to a flame."

   He tensed up underneath her touch, and she rushed to continue before he blew up.

   "You're both attractive and magnetic, able to read people and get them to do just about anything to please you. To make you happy. But my second thought was about the contrasts," she said, "and you know the difference between right and wrong. Your moral code remains intact, even though it was way off-kilter for a while. But you value life, and you know that not every man or woman is inherently evil. She doesn't."

   This time, when he let go of her hand to turn on the light, she didn't try to stop him. The two of them shielded their eyes until they adjusted to the sudden brightness, and Negan sat up, scooting himself back so that he was propped up against the headboard.

   Gina stared up at him, struggling to figure out what she wanted to say, and he remained silent, watching her with a solemn expression.

   "She's very smart. And she knew exactly what she was doing when she left that message. Cleo knew that it would haunt me, and it got the intended reaction."

   "That fucking cunt is never going to come near you again," he swore, bringing her to a seated position, and she twisted herself around so that they were facing each other.

   "Negan, she will."

   "You don't think I can protect you? Is that why you went in the first place?"

   He still thought of her as helpless, someone that needed his protection, even after all of this time.

   "Oh," she said, the truth dawning on her as his eyes narrowed, lips flattening as she shook her head. "I get it now."

   "Get what?"

   "Why you were so disturbed by what I did to John."

   "I'm lost, darlin'."

   "You wanted to be the one to kill him," she mused. "You wanted to be the one to do it, because you didn't think I could."

   Negan snorted, rolling his eyes as he shook his head.

   "No," he said in a patient tone, addressing her like a child. "You had just been through a very traumatic experience. Why in the hell would I want that to continue? You said it yourself, you'd never killed anyone before. I only wanted to keep you from more pain."

   "But you can't," she insisted, beginning to tear up. "You never could. Everything that's happened has been a direct result of some monumentally stupid decision I've made. And I have to own my part in everything that's happened."

   He rested his hand on her knee, squeezing it.

   "It was exhausting being around that woman, always having to watch myself. I could see that she was batshit crazy, but if I had been someone else, and had experienced only what those other women had, maybe I would've bought into what she was selling. She's providing a sense of security to women who are vulnerable, but I don't think she's doing it purely for altruistic reasons. She gets off on the violence and the emasculation of men."

   Negan looked disgusted, and she fiddled with his chest hair, stroking it lightly, calming herself down. Unlike earlier in the evening, being around him now gave her a sense of peace, at least for the moment.

   "When they brought Jesus and Andrew in, the women gathered around the truck like farmers at an auction, ready to bid for cattle. She loved it. And when Cleo took the bag off of Jesus's head, three other women tried to get him."

   "Baby, I know I wanted you to talk to me, but we don't have to do this tonight, especially after what happened earlier," he said, but she lifted her fingers to his lips, running them across them softly before resuming the pattern that she'd begun on his chest.

   "No, I want to. Bethany told me that I should let it out. Let you know why I'm so worried for you."

   His skin was warm and smoth, with an underlying firmness from his muscles as he blinked several times, still thrown by Gina's actions.

   "Once the women found out that Cleo was going to make us fight for Jesus, two of them bowed out immediately, and it left just Maria and me. She fucking hated me."

   She shut her eyes briefly, her nails scraping lightly through his hair, and she concentrated on that sensation as she continued.

  "We had to fight, surrounded by the other women, and I almost lost. Maria had me by the neck, choking me, but I managed to flip her over and pin her. Cleo let me have him, and after we went to the warehouse, she came to watch."

   Negan's breathing picked up under her hand, and she imagined that listening to her story was almost as unpleasant as having to tell it.

   "When it was over, she was waiting outside for me. She actually told me she wouldn't mind having a go at him."

   Calloused fingers brushed along her jaw, and she opened her eyes to find him grimacing, dark brown eyes studying her.

   "This was after she spent the previous few days hitting on me. It's like she got off on making me uncomfortable. Cleo likes pushing people, seeing how far she can take things. And when she finds us, she'll do just that. Especially if she knows about you. Just imagine what she'd do to you when she finds out who you are."

   He sat up, tilting her head so that their foreheads were touching, and he tucked her hair behind her ear.

   "I'm not going to stay at the Sanctuary."

   "Please, Negan," she begged, ignoring the pain in her chest. "She'll torture you. She'll do it in front of me. She'll do the most horrible things to you just to make me pay for what we did."

   "No. I can't sit by and leave you here, waiting for whatever you think is going to happen. You know that's not me."

   Frustrated, she pushed him back, removing her shirt as she turned around.

   "Do you see that?" she asked, glancing at him over her shoulder. His eyes dropped to her tattoo before rising again and Gina didn't resist as he pulled her back by the shoulders so that she was resting against him. "She branded us, marking us as hers, but that was my rebellion, my remembrance of why I went there."

  Negan's arms snaked around her waist, holding her firmly.

   "Those three letters mean everything to me. All three, and I can't be without any of them. It's the combination that makes it special."

   "You've always believed in me," he soothed, kissing her temple tenderly. "Believe in me now. We've gone through too much for me to do something stupid. I'm made for these kinds of situations."

   She gave up for the moment trying to convince him. It wasn't going to happen overnight, and she craned her neck to kiss his, feeling his arms tighten around her as she nibbled on his earlobe, ignoring Cleo's voice in her head. She belonged to Negan. It was something that she'd have to remind herself of from now on.

   The two of them moved slowly, easing down the bed, kissing as he got on top of her, a marked difference from a few hours before. Negan sucked on her bottom lip, hiking up her leg so that he could get between her thighs, his teeth pressing into her swollen mouth.

   Gina whimpered, anxious to have him touch her, tugging on his arm to get him to comply. He did, inching his way down her neck running his hands from her shoulders to her waist, fingering the edge of her panties as he made the journey down her stomach.

   "I've missed you so much," he grunted into her skin, backing himself to the edge of the bed to pull them off, leaving her exposed underneath him. He'd left the window open, and a breeze pushed through, lifting the curtains and blanketing her body, causing her nipples to stiffen as he stood up, dropping his pants, already hard.

   As he always did, he left her breathless when he loomed over her on his hands and knees, licking his lips. She waited for him to do something, anything, as the anticipation kicked her heart into high gear.

   "What are you waiting for?"

   He smirked down at her, causing her skin to flush, tingling with need. "That."

   This time, he entered her slowly, inching himself in as she lifted her hips to meet him, the feel of his warmth against the contrast of the cool air eliciting a groan from deep in her throat. Resuming the make out session they'd started, their tongues moved around in a languid circle, sending a jolt down to her core. God, he was an amazing kisser.

   When his chest hair started to tickle her, she let out a small laugh into his mouth, stopping him in his tracks. "Sorry," she murmured, reaching between them to rub the skin along her chest, bringing a wide smile to his face.

   "Baby, I could watch you do that all night."

   "Touch myself?"

   "No," he said. "Well, yes. But that laugh. That's what I was talking about."

   "Don't," she warned him as his fingers edged their way up towards her armpit. She tried to dodge him but he was already on top of her, and she couldn't fight him off, collapsing in a heap of giggles until she couldn't breathe, even though he was inside her the whole time.

   Panting, she flipped him onto his back, pinning his arms down before taking him back inside her. She rode him with a mission, to make him happy, and when he began to get close, she switched her position, turning around to face his feet as he rocked her hips back and forth, gripping them so that he could control the speed that she worked on him.

   It also gave him the view of her tattoo, the letters taunting him until he finally sat up, running his tongue across the design. "Mine," he mumbled, the stubble sending her into overdrive, and she arched back, using Negan's waist to brace herself as she worked her hips into an unsustainable frenzy. Her most sensitive spot was rubbing on his hairy thighs, the friction causing her to double over in pleasure, her nails embedded in his side as she convulsed on top of him.

   Feeling like a wet noodle, Gina let him turn her onto the mattress, laying on her stomach with her ass in the air as he repositioned himself, shoving inside her forcefully, digging into her skin so roughly that she knew she'd be bruised. Negan was unrelenting, pushing himself so fast that she kept rocking forward, finally raising herself up on her arms, hearing only the slap of his skin against hers, feeling only the stretching sensation as he went deeper than he normally did, increasing the pace with a series of grunts, finally bending over as he came, shuddering against her back and making a few more lazy pumps until Gina hit the mattress, falling on top of her with a huff.

   Both were spent, crawling back under the covers, facing each other until Negan turned off the light, shaking the bed as he hopped closer to her. She could feel his breath on her face, blowing a few strands of hair across her forehead as her eyes drifted shut. He was out before her, snoring softly as she listened to him, letting the deep sounds lull her to sleep.

   The next morning, she was brought out of her slumber by Negan's hands stroking her cheek, a rare treat for her. Normally, one of them was up before the other, off to either leave the community or begin work inside.

   "I know you're awake," he said, his fingers moving down her neck, along her arms to her waist, where they moved in slow circles on her skin.

   "Do you think the kids are okay?"

   "I'm sure they're fine."

  Gina rolled over underneath his arm, tucking her head down along his chest as he kissed the top of her hair, thinking about Michael and Casey. She wondered how they were adjusting to yet another upheaval in their lives. Michael was young, so he'd no doubt settle in better than Casey. The drab, gray confines of the Sanctuary just didn't seem to fit the little girl's effervescent spirit, but at least she had Judith, Carl, and Rebecca there with her.

   "Sherry was quite taken with them," he mused, causing her to frown.

   "She was? You saw her?"

   Negan nodded, looking at her with an unreadable face. Sherry was a bit of a sore spot for them both. When he'd found out that she was not only alive, but that Gina knew, he'd been hurt, angry and accusatory.

   "She looks healthier. But she's worried about you."

   "Well, she spent a long time with Cleo. She knows better than anyone what she's capable of."

   Negan hesitated before pulling her closer, getting his face down to hers so that they were nearly nose to nose, his hand tightening on her side.

   "She said that if Cleo gets to you, she won't kill you right away. Sherry believes that she'll spend a significant amount of time breaking you down first."

   "I know that," Gina replied, unable to stop the shiver that ran down her spine. That was one thing she knew for certain. It would be no easy execution for her. But her own safety was very low down on the list of things she gave a shit about. Not that she had a death wish. She just prioritized the people she loved over her own well-being.

   "I'm more worried about what she'd do to the rest of you."

   "Baby, I need you to think. Where do you imagine she could be?" he asked. He had on his serious face, his leader face, and had they been back at the Sanctuary, he'd no doubt be pacing around with Lucille in his hand, ready to strike.

   Reluctantly, Gina lifted his arm, getting to a seated position as she ran her fingers through her hair. _I'll be coming for you, Gina._

   A mixture of Cleo's voice in her head and Negan's fingers on her spine caused goosebumps to form, and she bit her lip as she thought to herself.

   "She'll be close by, would be my guess. Cleo was in the military," she said, a fact that he already knew, "and from my dealings with her, she is very regimented and smart. She still had that mindset, so she's not going to just come storming in here. My feeling is, if she did indeed find Annabeth, she already knows where we are. She's probably watching this place, trying to find out how many fighters we have, how our weapons supply is. And she'll figure out the best way to breach our walls, if she doesn't come sneaking through the water."

   With a quick kiss to the back of her neck, Negan stood up, pulling her out of the bed, a forced smile on his face.

   "Let's get showered and meet up with Rick," he told her, leading her to the bathroom.

   "What's got you in such a rush?" she asked, admiring him as he stretched, the muscles in his back rippling as he glanced over his shoulder, giving her such a filthy grin that she took an automatic step back.

   "I've got an idea."

   "Oh, Lord," she muttered, sensing danger.


	102. Chapter 102

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little fluff before things go sideways...

 

  
_Hi mom,_

_How are you? I am fine._

   Me _and Michael are spending lots of time with everyone. Sherry is very nice. She takes me out to the gardens, and we are planting and taking care of the vegetables. She told me some funny stories about you, and that she's your best friend. Rebecca likes her too and she teaches us writing. Sherry helped me write this letter for you._

_I miss you and dad very much. I hope I can come home soon. When I do, can we get a dog? There's a nice one here who lets me pet him._

_I have to go now. It's time to get ready for bed._

_I love you._

_Love,_

_Casey_

 

   The black ledger slipped off of the edge of the desk as Gina reread the letter, swallowing hard against the lump in her throat. It had been over three weeks since she'd last seen her children and she had almost snuck out of Reedville several times, only to stop herself. She didn't want to put them in danger, and Cleo was still AWOL.

 

    For the last three days, she'd put pen to paper, writing down detailed instructions on her job just in case something happened to her. Inventories, agreements with Arcadia, even the names and descriptions of all the boats. She'd gone over everything in painstaking detail with Eugene, who was impatient waiting for Rick and Negan to return.

   Negan and Rick had devised several contingency plans with Eugene's help, and he had sent them on a trip to a research lab about four hours away in the old world, giving them an exhaustive list of the materials he would need to put the plans into action.

   Rick had been reticent at first when Negan explained that it would involve Gina basically being a guinea pig, but she was all in, willing to put herself at risk in order to finally take Cleo out. After several intense conversations, he'd finally come around, letting Eugene and Negan walk him through the specifics.

   In addition, the portly man had requested several items so that their fence could be electrified, assuring them all that he'd be able to get it up and running in a matter of days. Should anyone or anything try to breach the fence, they'd be stopped in their tracks.

   Since Devin and Daryl were currently at the Sanctuary with Jesus and Aaron, they were light on council members, and Clinton had stepped up, taking over the security of the town, especially over the previous few days. He sent out only a few people to scout the area, each time returning with no sightings of anyone. Only a few stray walkers were around, all dispatched by the rangers with ease.

   It should've been reassuring, but Gina had the distinct feeling that Cleo was building up to something. She could only hope that they remained vigilant and on the defensive. Idly, she wondered if the other woman had gained any new followers, but even if she did, Carol had done a bang up job of putting her at a distinct disadvantage, at least for the time being.

   The only good thing about the current situation was the time that she'd been able to spend with Negan. Though she'd much rather have their kids at home with her, the past few weeks had given them something that they'd never had. Time to focus on each other. Between the Sanctuary, his sentence at Alexandria, and her adoption of Casey, they'd had no time with just the two of them. Now, the intimacy and the time to converse about so many different topics were almost a guilty pleasure for her.

   When he wasn't out on the road, their days and nights were spent together. Mostly. Rick often joined them in the evenings, adrift himself without Carl and Judith. The three of them usually ate dinner together, discussing plans and the goings on in their markedly reduced community. For some reason, when he was around, it only heightened her longing for Negan, so much so that Rick had made a few comments over the way she would watch him, causing her cheeks to turn red before she'd flip him off.

   She had also spent time with Bethany, both getting to know her and using her as a sounding board. Finally, she understood why Negan was so fond of her. The young woman didn't have a mean bone in her body, and Gina apologized for being so short with her on several occasions.

   "There's no need to apologize," Bethany insisted with her gentle smile. "You were in a less than ideal situation, and then here I come, spending time with the man you love."

   "Well, I am sorry. None of that was your fault," Gina had mumbled, mortified at her attitude. "You had nothing to do with it, and I shouldn't have jumped to any conclusions."

   "Negan is a really interesting man. He's very much in love with you," she'd observed, locking her blue eyes on Gina. "He reminds me a lot of my father."

   Ouch. That would hurt him if he knew, she thought, hiding a smile.

   From their conversations, Gina was able to glean that Bethany had a keen interest in Rick, who was oblivious. In order to not embarrass the younger woman, she'd made a few passing comments about Michonne, and Rick's loss of her. Bethany had been upset to hear it, but not in regards to herself. Instead, it had drawn a heartfelt reaction on Rick's behalf.

   If and when Rick was ever ready to move on, Bethany had Gina's wholehearted approval.

   As for herself, Gina had left the confines of home only once, and that was to hit the library that was just down the street. Eugene had requested a litany of books, each one written down on a sheet of paper in precise lettering. Clinton had accompanied her, and the two of them had been able to find all but one in the small but well-stocked building.

   While they were exploring, she'd found something amusing amongst a storeroom filled with magazines, all cataloged by year. Negan had mentioned to her that she looked like an old Italian actress, and she'd spent over an hour combing through the volumes of pictures that were scattered in the pages of old Vanity Fairs and other now defunct beauty magazines.

   There in black and white were photos of the woman, who Gina had to admit bore a striking resemblance to her. Fascinated, she'd stuffed them in her bag, smiling like an idiot as she took them home, poring over them as an idea popped into her head. It was silly and unimportant given what was happening around them, but she decided to give Negan a treat when he returned.

   While he was away, she scoured over the empty houses looking for vintage clothes, hitting paydirt at Mrs. Stevenson's house, the elderly woman who'd danced with John at the New Year's party. She'd passed away from natural causes while Gina and Carol were with Cleo, and her house remained untouched. Several boxes in her attic were filled with furs, jewelery, dresses and shoes in such pristine condition, she'd wondered if they'd ever been worn.

   Feeling moderately guilty, she'd hauled them all back to her own home, picking through them until she found a few items that fit, trying them on as she studied the photos. Apparently, she had nothing better to do with half the town gone and her kids being looked after by someone else.

 

   "Do you mind if we finish for the day?" Eugene asked, causing her to look up from her letter, seeing him stooped over, picking up the black ledger. "I'd like to get home and study my books if you're agreeable."

   "Nope, that's fine. Negan and Rick should be back soon. They radioed that they were only a few hours away."

   "All right then," he said with a nod, looking just over her shoulder. "I'll dispatch myself home, then."

   Fighting the ruge to chuckle at his awkwardness, she watched him walk to the door, his shoulders sloped forward as he shuffled off. For some ungodly reason, she wondered if he was a virgin. Shaking off the disturbing thought, she stacked her books in order before turning off the light and heading home.

   As she wandered towards her house, she saw a few men scatter, and she grew concerned until she saw Ezekiel come around the side of one of the vacant houses with Shiva at his side. He gave her a large smile as she got closer, and the cat let out a mewl, nosing her in the stomach, sending her back a few feet.

   "It's so lovely to see you," he trilled, bowing towards her as Gina grinned. She hugged him briefly, letting Shiva sniff her hand before petting her on the top of the head. If someone had told her before the world ended that she'd befriend a tiger, she'd have laughed in their face. But now, seeing the large feline in their community was becoming almost routine, at least for her. Some of the other residents were still leery, as they should be.

   "How's the old girl holding up?" she asked, coming to stand on Ezekiel's side.

   "Carol? Or Shiva?" His voice was mischevious, and there was a glint in his eye as she shook her head.

   "I would never," she protested with a laugh.

   "My Shiva is recovering quite nicely," he said, shaking the chain slightly, causing her to tumble down to the grass, flopping on her belly as she rubbed herself around, growling in pleasure. "She's almost back to her normal weight, thanks to the excess of fish that she's been provided. And she's gone into the water several times, playing as if she were but a kitten."

   Ezekiel turned his eyes back towards her, and she noticed that he was more subdued as he brushed the hair back off of his shoulder.

   "Carol is not doing as well, I'm afraid. She's missing everyone terribly, and she's worried for the events to come."

   Gina was surprised, to be honest. It was understandable that she'd feel the absence of Daryl and the others, but to hear that she was concerned about Cleo threw her off.

   Carol was nothing if not pragmatic, able to set aside emotion when it came to the fights that they'd faced over the years.

   "Is there something in particular that's bothering her?"

   Glancing around to make sure they were alone, he spoke in a soft voice. "She won't say, but I sense that she feels guilty about the fact that Cleo blames you alone for the events at her community."

   "She shouldn't," Gina replied, shrugging her shoulders. "I'm glad that Cleo doesn't suspect Carol. That's the way we wanted it to be. There's no sense in giving that psycho more than one target to focus on."

   "Perhaps," Ezekiel sighed as Shiva rose to her feet. "My darling Carol takes everything to heart, though she doesn't always show it. She's grown quite fond of you, dear Gina, and she surely doesn't want to see anything happen to you."

   Touched, Gina squeezed his shoulder. "I'm fond of her myself. We've become quite a motley little family here, and God willing, we'll all make it through this together."

   It was a ridiculous hope, but she clung to it anyway. They stood chatting for a few more minutes until Shiva began to pace, and Gina wished him a pleasant evening, resuming her trek home as she thought about Carol.

   As unreadable as Gina thought she was when she first arrived at their community, she felt that she'd begun to understand the survivor better. Underneath her hard exterior was a woman who cared very deeply, sometimes to her own detriment, and when Cleo was dealt with, she hoped that Carol would be able to take a step back and get some peace. A respite with Ezekiel.

   Once she got into the house, she placed Casey's letter on the dining room table before setting it for dinner and throwing some food on. While it simmered, she showered and got dressed in a cute red chiffon cocktail dress with spaghetti straps that could've been stolen from an old movie set. The pictures were propped up on her dresser, and she referenced them while doing her hair and makeup, applying it with a retro touch and exaggerating the eyeliner. Red lipstick finished the look and she hurried back down to check the food while she waited nervously for Negan to return.

   It wasn't until dinner was almost done that she started to panic, wondering if Rick was going to come as well. He'd think she was an idiot, and she had no way to explain why she looked the way she did. Debating on whether or not to change, she was on her way back into the dining room when she heard the door open.

   Scuttling backwards, she hid in the far corner of the kitchen, listening for the sound of multiple voices, considering making a run for the backyard if she heard more than one man walk in.

   The door slammed shut, and she could hear footsteps get closer, causing her heart to flutter.

   "Gina?"

   It was Negan and he was getting closer.

   "Is Rick with you?" she asked, backing into the pantry as he approached the doorway.

   "No. Why?"

  "Don't come in here," she ordered, closing the door so that it was only open a crack.

   "Are you decent?" She could hear a teasing tone in his voice, underscored with curiosity.

   "Just go sit down. I'll be out in a second."

   His heavy steps retreated and she counted to ten before emerging, getting the food together at record speed, nearly spilling steaming sauce on her arm. Her hands were full as she inched her way towards the dining room, the sound of him tapping on the table impatiently echoing aloud.

   "Before I come out, I want you to know that I did this for you, for fun. If you laugh, I'm going upstairs and I'm not coming back down. Ever."

   "Oh, Jesus," he mumbled. "Should I be scared?"

   "I'm serious."

   "Will you please come out? I haven't seen your face in days."

   Taking a deep breath, she stepped forward, fixing a flirty smile on her face. Negan's reaction was immediate, but it wasn't what she expected. His eyes bugged out and he opened his mouth so wide that she was surprised his jaw didn't pop.

  "Holy shit."

   Gina set the food down in the middle of the table as he gawked at her, making her blush slightly.

   "Welcome home, signore," she said in an exaggerated Italian accent, tilting her hip slightly as she rested her hand on it, batting her eyelashes at him.

   His face dropped, and she became self-conscious, stepping back slightly.

   "What? I know I look ridiculous," she babbled, edging towards the steps to change. "I found some pictures of that actress you said I resembled, and I thought it would be funny to dress up to look more like her, but I feel like a jackass now."

   As she was rambling, he stood back up, moving around the table towards her, grabbing her roughly by the face and kissing her so passionately that she was breathless by the time he came up for air.

   "Why did you look so unhappy?" she gasped, steadying herself with the back of the chair as he hovered over her. His eyes were that strange golden color again, highlighted by his thick black lashes.

   "Because I don't have any earthly fucking idea what I did to deserve you."

   "Huh?" was her brilliant reply.

   "You're just-" he stammered, jerking her off her feet as he swept her up, hooking his arm under her legs, causing her to yelp, thrown off balance as she held onto his shoulders. Without looking at her, he jogged up the steps at a record pace, depositing her on the bed.

   "I was bored," Gina panted, pulling the dress back down towards her knees, looking up at him as he whipped his shirt off in one motion. "There's not much to keep me busy with no one around."

   Faster than she could keep up, Negan stripped off his pants, pushing her back onto the bed as he shoved the dress back up to her waist, wresting her arms away from her body.

   "Dinner's ready," she told him, biting her lower lip as he damn near glared at her.

   "Fuck dinner. I can't even think straight right now."

   His words sent a thrill of desire straight through her. He was an alpha male, giving off the scent of dominance, attaching himself to her neck, grazing his teeth along the sensitive skin underneath her jaw at the same time his hands ripped the straps of the dress, snapping them against her shoulders.

   No part of her skin could escape his touch, he was in a near frenzy, roaming over her body with a deep growl, sending a shockwave of sensations through her nerves. Every time Gina reached for him, he'd pin her arms back down onto the bed, making another mark on her with his teeth, sucking hard enough to draw blood to the surface.

   Accepting that he had all of the control for the moment, she went limp, closing her eyes as he slid his hands under her, unzipping the dress so roughly that it burned her back. Once it was loose enough, she felt him pull it down her body, and she could hear it hit the ground with a soft thump.

   While he licked his way to her breasts, she felt his fingers brush across her lips and she opened her mouth automatically, letting him insert his fingers, sucking on them as he did the same to her nipples, his teeth closing down around them. It wasn't enough to cause her pain, but she moaned, causing him to increase the presssure until she begged him to stop. Undeterred, he switched to the other side, using his free hand to remove the panties she was wearing.

   Completely aroused, he slid his fingers inside her, working them back and forth as he kissed down her torso. When he got to her thighs, he stopped and her eyes fluttered open, unsure of what to expect. Negan was watching her, and she opened her mouth to speak, not getting out even a syllable as he took her by the waist, pulling her down to the edge of the bed, where he got on his knees between her legs.

    "I'm not going to stop until you scream my name," he warned her, dropping his face between her thighs, causing her to jolt up when his tongue made contact with her skin. Every part of her body was on fire as he licked and sucked her, ignoring what was probably a painful yank on his hair. Scream his name she did, shuddering as she came, her eyes closing so tightly that she saw stars.

    Negan was still down on his knees between her legs, placing soft kisses there as she gasped for breath, her hands covering her face. Throbbing from her core, she could feel his warm breath as she recovered from the exquisite high that he'd brought her to, staring through her fingers at the ceiling.

   When she was finally able to sit up, she took him gently by the face, kissing him and tasting herself on his lips.

   "I wanted to take care of you," she whispered, shivering when he stroked the skin on her waist, still on his knees. "I did this for you."

  "Nothing gets me harder than hearing you calling my name," he said, looking up into her eyes.

   "It's my turn," she told him, trying to regain the control as she took his hand, directing him onto the bed. They reversed roles, and he became pliant, laying on his back as she curled up along his side, kissing his chest as he played with her hair.

   Sweeping her hands along his body, she flicked her tongue over his nipples, running her nails lightly along his thigh as he bucked his hips instinctively. His skin smelled of sweat and earth, and she reveled in it, her mouth not missing an inch of it until he was the one begging her. 

Licking her lips, she opened her mouth, taking him in almost all the way, relaxing her throat as he tried to push himself in further. The salty fluid hit her tongue, and she retracted her head, caressing his shaft, causing him to moan, a deep throaty sound that urged her on. Bobbing her head up and down, she worked him at a swift pace, sucking so hard that her cheeks were sore, anticipating the moment that he thrust up into the back of her throat, sending his warm fluid down in a rush. She kept him in her mouth until he stilled underneath her, kissing her way up his stomach before laying her head on his chest as he traced lazy patterns on her back.

   "You just made my horny teenaged fantasies come true," he said, lowering his hand to her ass, squeezing it as she jumped.

   Gina tilted her head back, grinning up at him. He was wearing the expression of a satisfied man, his eyes nearly closed in relaxation.

   "Happy to oblige. How was the trip?"  
 

   We got everything that Eugene wanted," he told her, kissing the tip of her nose. "He's working on the trackers now."

   "He's sure he can do it?"

   "Oh, yeah," he replied, rolling his eyes. "I've never seen that mulleted freak so excited."

   Slapping his chest, she sat up, stretching her arms above her head. "That mulleted freak is going to keep us from getting wiped out," she reminded him, getting to her feet, rummaging around for something to wear. When she glanced back, she saw that Negan was watching her with his arms propped behind his head.

   "It's going to work," he said, more to himself than her.

   "It was a great idea," she admitted, even though she was ambivalent about what would happen next. "Come on," she ordered, holding out her hand. "My food is going to waste down there."

   He got up, putting his clothes back on, and they held hands until they got downstairs. The food was still warm, and she got them some wine as he dished them each a plate. Gina handed him Casey's letter as she sat down next to him, feeling bad for him as he read it with a grim expression.

  Halfway through their meal, the doorbell rang. Negan got up to answer it as Gina hastily adjusted her hair, which was probably a huge mess.

   It was Rick, and he came pushing past Negan, headed straight towards her, his blue eyes lasering in on her, not seeming to notice her physical state.

   "Annabeth's at the point. She's asking to see you."


	103. Chapter 103

  
   When she came down the steps after changing, she noticed that Negan and Rick were speaking in low voices by the door, stepping apart as she approached.

   "What?" she accused, stalking towards them, affixing her weapons belt around her waist as they glanced at each other. 

   "Gina, I don't know about this," Rick began, the words dying in his throat as she stared him down. 

  "She's here for me. Either get on board or get out of my way."

   Rick's eyebrows rose in surprise at her attitude, but she couldn't help it. The last time she'd seen Annabeth, she was escorting the blonde bitch out of town. Simmering underneath the anger was the blame that the directed at herself. If she'd just handled things differently, they wouldn't be in this situation. 

   Biting back an apology, she twisted the knob to head outside, but the door swung back shut as Negan blocked her way. 

   "Move," she ordered, trying to edge her way around him, pissing him off. 

   "What's the fucking endgame here?" he snapped, crossing his arms as he leaned against the wood. "You don't have to have anything to do with her."

   "Are you two fucking kidding me right now?"

   How could they be trying to dissuade her from going to the point? They could finally get some answers here.

   "Seriously," Rick tried, boxing her in. "Let me try talking to her. I can get answers and you don't need to be involved."

   Gina's hand twitched, reaching automatically for her gun. 

   "Get out of my way. I'm not going to say it again."

   Swearing under his breath, Negan stepped to the side, and she could feel him as he followed behind her, Rick hot on his trail. Chuck handed her the keys to one of the trucks and she got behind the wheel, waiting impatiently as Rick and Negan got in with her. 

   It was early evening, the sky still an indigo blue as she drove out towards the point, her hands gripping the wheel as she began to get nervous. She hadn't laid eyes on Annabeth in months, and old feelings were coming up to the surface. It didn't help that Negan was sitting next to her, causing her to imagine the two of them fucking. 

   The truck jerked forward as she pressed too hard on the gas, and she ignored Negan's muttering. An hour ago she was in bed with him, and now it was like it never happened. 

   There were only a few men on the ground at the point, and all of them were armed, ready to fire at any minute. As they saw the truck approach, she was grimly pleased to see that they were still on alert, aiming their guns at them as she pulled to a stop, only easing off when the trio stepped out. 

   "She's in the back office," Terry informed them with a guarded expression. Gina knew that he'd gotten on well with Annabeth, who'd been free to go, as far as he knew. "We took her gun as you requested, boss."

   Rick thanked him as they walked inside the building. It was dimly lit so as not to draw unwanted attention, the large glass windows allowing some outside light to bleed through. 

   Tension filled her belly as they crossed the large open area, a flickering flame of anxiety that licked at her insides, building to a smoldering ball of angst, permeating her thoughts. She was ready for this. She wasn't ready for this.

   As they got further inside, the walls narrowed into a long hallway, with a lone guard positioned outside the nondescript office door, faded letters peeling off of the glass. He stepped away with a brisk nod, retreating into the shadows as Gina peered in as she took a deep breath.

   Annabeth was sitting in a rusty old chair, her arms folded across her chest. She looked haggard and gaunt, her blonde hair falling out of a haphazard ponytail. Subscribing to the Cleo philosophy, she was dressed in a black shirt and army pants, one of her black boots tapping impatiently on the floor. 

   Steeling herself, Gina opened the door, only to be knocked out of the way by Negan, who rushed towards Annabeth, hoisting the startled woman by the neck and slamming her into the wall. Bits of plaster came loose, floating into the air as Rick tried to pull him away.

   "Give me one fucking reason why I shouldn't put a bullet in your head," Negan snarled, pushing her away as she stumbled, extending her hands to break her fall. 

   "I came for her," Annabeth choked out, rubbing her throat as she got to her knees, glaring at Gina with hatred. "You were a lousy lay, anyway."

   If Rick hadn't been holding him, Gina was sure that Negan would've killed her with his bare hands. She, however, stood by silently, studying the other woman. If she was here, it was at Cleo's behest, and she thought seriously about why she sent Annabeth. Doing so would expose her, tip them off that she was in fact nearby. More importantly, it showed that she had information about them.

   "So, you're doing Cleo's bidding now?" Gina asked quietly, taking a step forward as she reached for her gun. Annabeth's eyes drifted down at her movements, and she cocked her head to the side. "You willingly agreed to help her destroy a community that you lived in for years, all just to get back at me?"

   "No. I came to prevent that."

   Once Rick was sure that Negan was under control, he kicked the chair towards Annabeth, who used it to get to her feet. Grunting, she sat down heavily, resting her head in her hands. 

   "I came for you," she said, never lifting her head. "Only you."

   Gina's eyes drifted automatically to Negan who looked terrifying. She'd seen him this way before, but it was much more intense at the moment. There was a devilish light in his eyes that harkened back to the Sanctuary, and Rick unconsciously took a step towards her, placing his hand protectively on Gina's shoulder. 

   "If I bring you back with me, Cleo promised to leave everyone else alone."

   "And you believe that shit?" Negan snorted, the fire dimming slightly. 

   "What choice do I have?" she asked tiredly, glancing up again. There were red marks around her throat where Negan had gripped her, finger-like tendrils that snaked along her pale skin. They stood out as much as her eyes did, the only things of interest on her entire form. "If I don't bring her back within twenty-four hours, Cleo's going to attack."

   "We're ready for her," Rick interjected, sounding confident. 

   Annabeth laughed, a bitter sound, verging on hysterical. "She's got a fucking tank. More explosives than you realize. She'll put a hole in the world, and this place will be nothing but a crater."

   Gina pulled Rick towards the door, gesturing to Negan who backed away, still glaring at Annabeth. 

   "I need to see her alone."

   "That's not going to happen," Negan protested, causing her to glare angrily at him. 

   "I wasn't asking your permission," she reminded him, getting a dirty look in return. Their silent standoff continued until Rick opened the door, causing Negan to stalk out. 

   "We'll be right outside," he said, shutting the door with a sigh, leaving the room testosterone free. 

   Gina leaned against the door, running her hand over her face as Annabeth watched her warily. They were fucked and they both knew it. 

   "How much did you tell her about this place?"

   "Everything," Annabeth admitted after a moment. "I didn't know she was..."

   "Nuts?" Gina offered, her voice laced with disgust. 

   "How was I supposed to know?" she snapped, looking back down. "I was alone for months. All of a sudden, I find a group of women and they're asking my why I'm by myself. They told me I'd be safe, that they take care of their own. And when we get to their compound-"

   Gina could only imagine how it looked. The mass of bodies, all grouped together in one house. All of the guards dead. 

   "I couldn't leave," Annabeth said, her body seeming to close in on itself. "Cleo put two and two together. I'd told her your name when she questioned me, and she ordered everyone back to her community."

   "Cleo's killed more people than you know. She's the one that took out Alexandria, the Hilltop, the Kingdom and who knows how many others."

   Annabeth let out a huff, curling herself into a ball. Gina didn't have it in her to feel bad for the other woman. Too much had happened, and though she knew it was partly her fault, they wouldn't be in this situation if Annabeth had kept her goddamn hands to herself. 

   "So, what happens if you bring me to her?" she asked, pushing herself off of the wall, taking a few steps towards the chair. 

   Refusing to look up, she told her. 

   "She wants you alive. I don't know for how long, but she doesn't intend to kill you straight away. It may buy you some time to figure something out. The only thing I can say is that she promised me that she'd leave the rest of the town alone. I did my best to convince her that you were the only one involved."

  "And if I don't give myself up?"

   "She'll attack tomorrow. Whether I'm still here or not."

   Gina bit her lip, trying to weigh the options. Cleo, in her minor experience, valued her word. She was straightforward, saying what she meant, and meaning what she said. There was the slimmest chance that she'd honor her promise not to attack. 

   "I trust you about as far as I could throw you," Gina said, ignoring Annabeth's eyes boring into her, "so we'll do this my way. We leave at dawn."

   Turning around, she stalked towards the door, nearly walking into Rick, who was literally just outside the room. After calling for the guard to resume his watch, she walked briskly to the front of the building, wrenching her arm away from Negan as he tried to pull her to a stop.

   "Not here," she hissed, going to Terry and telling him to get Annabeth some food and water and a blanket, instructing him that she'd be back in the morning. 

   She knew that the two men were ready to erupt, but she kept her mouth shut until they were back inside the walls. Turning off the engine, she twisted herself around so that she could address the two of them. 

   "I'm going with Annabeth at first light."

   Immediately, Rick and Negan began to argue, talking over each other until she slammed on the horn, startling them both. 

   "If I don't, she's going to attack. I don't have a death wish," she said, her voice breaking slightly, "so we're going to go see Eugene and make sure that his fucking trackers will work. Cleo's not going to kill me. At least not yet. So you two are going to follow us, and you're going to rescue me."

   Negan looked so beside himself, so frightening, that she shrank back towards the door, giving Rick a nervous glance. 

   "We'll figure out something else," Rick replied, shaking minutely. "We can come up with a different plan."

   "Cleo's attacking tomorrow if Annabeth fails. There's no way we'll survive," she said, feeling as low as she ever did. "I don't want to do it, believe me. But I believe in you. Both of you," she said, facing Negan, who's face blanched, having his words thrown back in his face. "I believe that you'll get there before she really hurts me."

   The truck was filled with tension as Gina's vision started to blur. Rick opened the door, hoisting himself out with a grunt. "I'll head over to see Eugene."

   The door shut, leaving the two of them alone. Negan was still glaring at her, but she didn't have it in her to argue anymore. She just wanted him to hold her. Clambering out of her seat, she got onto his lap, throwing her arms around him, not caring that he was stiff, turning his head away. 

   Burying her head in his neck, she let out a deep breath, one she didn't even realize she was holding. 

   "I don't want to go, Negan," she whispered. "I don't. But she'll come. She will, believe me. We can't beat her here."

   "You don't know that," he answered flatly, still not hugging her back. 

   "I do. We have no defense against a tank. Or explosives. She could blow the point away and roll in. You know it."

   He tried to pull her back, but she wouldn't budge. She couldn't face him just yet. Couldn't see the hurt and anger in his eyes as he said exactly what she was thinking.

   "You made another decision without me."

   It was the truth, and it stung. 

   "What would you have me do?" she asked, digging her fingers into the back of his neck. "What would you do if it was you?"

   There was no answer, but his arms came loosely around her back, causing her to sob. Lightly, he caressed her, leaning his head back to kiss her on the forehead. They sat together for several minutes until she was able to calm herself down, letting out a shuddering sigh. 

   When she sat up straight, she saw that he looked broken, and she turned his face towards her, kissing him gently on the lips. 

   "You'll come for me. You'll kill her. This is what you're built for, remember?"

   "If she puts one finger on you, I swear to Christ, I'll skin her alive. She'll be begging for death."

   Without responding, she crawled off of him, wiping her face as he opened the door and taking his hand as he helped her out. The guards were actively avoiding looking at them, and they walked hand in hand towards the house that Eugene was staying in.

   All of the lights were on, and they walked silently up the steps, heading in without knocking. Gina was surprised to see that Carol and Ezekiel were there, both of them watching Eugene as he bustled around the living room, moving from pile to pile of electronics, mumbling to himself. 

   Negan went over to Rick, pulling him out of the room as Carol made a beeline towards her, hugging her tightly. "I'm coming with you."

   "No."

   The hug tightened, becoming uncomfortable until Carol stepped back, her face enraged. 

   "I'm the one that killed everyone, not you."

   "That's why you're going to stay here. You're part of the A-Team," she said with a weary smile. "You need to help them rescue me."

   Carol started to argue, but Gina held her hand up, signaling the discussion was over. Turning her attention to Eugene, she tapped him on the shoulder, causing him to jump since he was so engrossed in a tiny little rice-shaped piece of metal that he was holding, using his other hand to type a bunch of numbers in a keypad that was attached to a screen. 

   "Tell me you figured it out," she replied, feeling slightly better when he gave her a crooked smile. 

   "I'm still working out a few bugs, so to speak, but you'll be jacked up like a runaway dog when I'm done with you."

   She had no idea what the fuck he meant, but she gave him an encouraging look before plopping down on his couch. Negan and Rick had left the room, but she didn't bother to look for them. They were probably making their preparations for the next morning, and she'd rather they focus on that than her. 

   Two hours later, she was sitting at the dining room table as Eugene parted her hair with shaky hands, no doubt nervous with Negan hovering over him. Gina felt a pinch as the needle he was holding pierced the soft skin of her scalp, and a burning sensation began, leveling off after a few seconds. 

   Eugene removed the needle, reminding her not to rub at the spot as he turned on his little machine, a series of beeps filling the room. 

   "Ok, ma'am, if you could go ahead and leave the house, I'll check and see how it's responding."

   Standing up, she left the house, heading down to the dock. It was after midnight, and the street was deserted, giving her time to think about what she was about to do. It left her feeling hollow inside as she ruminated over her own mortality. There was a very good chance that she'd be dead tomorrow, but if she took Cleo with her, all the better. 

   The dock was empty, allowing her to look out on the water in peace. She couldn't see anything since the moon wasn't out, but the sound of the water was all she needed at the moment. No matter what, the sea never changed. It flowed in, and flowed out. 

   After a few minutes, she turned around and headed back, hesitating before she entered, afraid that it didn't work. But Eugene was standing there with a look of triumph. 

   "You walked down to the dock," he told her, "and you stood there for a few ticks before returning. It was all captured on this map, here."

   "How do you have a map? Wouldn't you need a satellite or something?" she asked.

   "This here tracking device has maps preloaded and the tiny little homing beacon is synced up with this particular machine," he explained, showing her as he fiddled with it. "It will be able to track you as long as you or anyone else that's pegged is within a hundred miles."

   "Thank you, Eugene," she said, hugging him as he patted her awkwardly on the back. He shuffled off, leaving her standing alone as he went over the instructions with the other four. While they were occupied, she slipped out, heading home for the night. 

   Gina doubted that she'd be able to get much sleep, but she crawled into their bed, turning off the light while she waited for Negan to return. Tracing the tiny raised bump on her head, she prayed. Not for herself, but for everyone else. That Casey and Michael were safe. That Rick would heal and begin to move on and enjoy the rest of his life. For Carol to find some peace. For Daryl and Talia to have everything that they ever wanted. And Negan. That he would be happy, no matter what happened. 

   He slipped in behind her as she was thinking about him, and she pulled his arm around her, just wanting to feel secure for a while. Eventually, she turned around, running her hands through his hair as he held her. They never spoke, never acknowledged what was coming. 

   Just before dawn, she kissed him, getting lost in his embrace.

   "I love you," she whispered. 

   "I love you, too."

   He held her until the last possible second, and the two of them rose, getting dressed. When they exited the house, he kissed her one last time. 

   "I'll see you soon," he promised, walking away without looking back. 

   Squaring her shoulders, she made the short walk to the wall, trying not to feel like she was on death row.


	104. Chapter 104

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A shorter chapter to set the stage. But much more coming!

  
   The rusted, crappy car pulled away from the curb slowly, smelling of death and decay. When Gina got in on the passenger side, a cloud of dust puffed through the air, and dirty motes swirled around the dirty air, causing her to break into a hacking cough as she waited for Annabeth to start the engine so that she could unroll the window.

   Currently, she was aiming her gun at Annabeth's head, her arm surprisingly steady despite the nerves that were rushing through her system. When she'd gone to the point alone, the other woman was already awake, pacing the small room where she'd spent the night.

   "Well?" she asked, not breaking her stride.

   Gina produced the gun that was confiscated from Annabeth on her arrival, motioning for her to move to the door as she backed up.

   "I'm going with you, but I'm in charge until we get there," Gina told her, watching as Annabeth's face relaxed in relief. "Once we're in sight, you can have your gun back."

  Nodding, she passed by, straightening her shoulders as Gina followed behind her to the entrance. There were new guards on duty, and none of them tried to stop her as she kept the gun poised and ready to shoot.

   They'd walked for over ten minutes until Annabeth stopped in front of the old, red car. There were rust holes dotting the sides, and the god-awful smell.

   As they drove away from the rising sun, Gina pulled a pack of cigarettes from her pocket, lighting it clumsily since she refused to relinquish her grip on the weapon. The smoke billowed around them, but it was better than smelling the overpowering scent of dead flesh.

   She had no idea where Negan and Rick were, or even if they'd left the community yet. The only thing she was sure of was that it was a day or reckoning, either for her or Cleo. One way or another, someone was going to die.

   Annabeth kept the car moving steadily west, turning onto the highway, shifting in her seat as Gina studied her. Once upon a time, they'd been friendly, if not close. Until she tried to destroy everything that Gina had built.

   "Why did you do it?" she asked quietly, noting that Annabeth's hands contracted around the wheel.

   "Do what?"

   "You've got to be kidding me," Gina scoffed.

   Her eyes flashed to the side briefly, catching Gina's before dropping to the gun, but she didn't respond until a few minutes later.

   "I don't know."

   "Bullshit."

   "He's a nice looking guy and I was lonely," Annabeth snapped, sitting up straighter. "Is that what you want to hear?"

   Gina didn't know what she wanted to hear. Nothing that she said was going to change anything that happened. But cheating had always been one of the absolute intolerables in her life, both before and after Negan. She never understood how people could do it. Betray the person that they were supposed to love. Or how another person could participate in the destruction of someone else's carefully built world.

   "I wasn't some faceless stranger, you heartless cunt," Gina hissed, feeling the anger leach onto her face. "You knew me. You knew he was mine. We have kids together. And you didn't give a shit. A goddamned small community, and you didn't care."

  "You have everything," Annabeth exploded, the car swerving to the right as she wrenched her hand from the wheel, balling her hand into a fist. "You got it all. The man, the kids, the leadership spot. And you still have it. I'm the one that got punished, got kicked out of my home. I don't see that asshole paying a price for his part in what happened."

   "And you don't know fuck all about what went on between us after you two did what you did," Gina swore, fighting the urge to strike her. "He did pay for his part in it, but at least he knew it was wrong. I watched you stare at him like a bitch in heat for weeks, not giving a shit that I was right there. And hell yes, you did get kicked out. If the situation were reversed, do you really think you'd have let me go on living there, a constant fucking reminder of being betrayed?"

  The air between them was charged, and Gina turned herself around to face the front, glaring out of the window as the car continued along. She would've rather been riding around with Maria than with Annabeth right now.

   "I didn't...I didn't think about anything," Annabeth muttered, keeping her eyes on the road. "I didn't think about you, or what would happen after. I just got caught up in the moment. We'd been spending time together, and he didn't seem happy."

  "Well, here we fucking are," Gina said, pulling out another cigarette to calm herself down. "And you're as much to blame for the fallout as I am. Just remember that when she wipes out the town anyway, now matter what happens to me."

   The rest of the trip was silent as they entered a long stretch of highway, with nothing of interest except trees. Some were still bare, while others had lime green buds, scattered sparsely along the interminable trip. Gina retreated into her own head, trying to steel herself for the face to face with Cleo. Attempting to get into the other woman's mindset was upsetting, but if she wanted to prepare herself, she had to.

   Cleo was strong, and she had a way with words. There were several scenarios that Gina played out in her head, and they all involved some sort of physical or psychological torture. Threats, beatings, deprivation. There was only one way through and it all depended on Negan and her people.

   She fought the urge to check her tracker, not wanting to disturb it, or arouse any suspicion from Annabeth. It was almost as if she could feel it pulsing on the back of her head.

   About two hours later, a large body of water appeared on the right, and she realized with a start that they were south, along the James River. The water was dark, but smooth as they drove along the edge, skirting around several abandoned cars, all of which were covered in leaves, dirt and the occasional body. The area appeared undisturbed, and she wondered what led Cleo here.

   Twenty minutes later, she saw why. They'd crossed over a bridge that was slowly crumbling, and Annabeth turned off the highway onto a road that was surrounded by fields, the tall grass swaying in the breeze. A half-mile down the road, they turned again, and Gina saw a sign for Petersburg Correctional.

   Fuck. She really was on death row.

   The chain link fence that surrounded the nondescript white buildings was still intact, albeit rusty, and the razor wire that ran across the top was littered with debris and random tatters of cloth.

   Two women were stationed at the gate, and Gina's heart dropped to her feet as they got closer. One of them was Ivy.

   Annabeth slowed to a crawl as they approached, and she unrolled her window, waiting for Ivy to approach. Her gun was drawn, and when she reached the car, she gave Gina a sickly smile.

   "Well, look at what the cat dragged in," she said, aiming her gun at Gina's face. "I would fucking blow your head off right now if Cleo hadn't specifically requested you alive. Drop the gun."

   Gina did as she was told, letting it fall to the floor as another woman she didn't recognize came over to her side, opening the door and snatching it away.

   "Take her to the main building," Ivy ordered as the other woman retreated to the gate, opening it with some effort. Annabeth nodded, steering the car through. They followed the asphalt as it curved several times, taking her closer to the two-story white building that sat by itself, surrounded by a large parking lot, which sat empty, both devoid of people and vehicles.

   Annabeth pulled the car up along the short walkway, killing the engine. Without waiting for her, Gina got out, heading directly towards the structure. There was no sense in fighting it or trying to run. She had nowhere to go. As she got to the glass doors, they swung open, and she was met by Maria.

   The shorter woman lunged at her, hitting her in the face, and Gina flew back into the doorway, smacking her shoulder on the metal. Maria reached for her again, and Gina grabbed her by the wrist, bringing her knee up into Maria's arm, pulling down with all of her might, breaking it with a loud snap.

   Maria let out a howl as Gina released her, and her arm hung at a sickening angle, the middle of the bone sticking out along the skin, forming a raised bump.

   "You fucking bitch," she screamed, scrambling back as two other women rushed forward, aiming their guns at her.

   Gina merely smiled, rubbing at the throbbing spot on her cheek. The younger of the two strangers put her arm around Maria's shoulder, guiding her down the hall as the other came around Gina's back, poking her with the muzzle of her gun.

   "Move."

   Walking slowly, she made her way down the hallway towards a cluster of offices, all of which were closed. The walls were covered in portraits, all of men who were long gone, each watching her with serious faces.

   When she reached the end of the hall, she came to a stop, waiting for direction. The redhead that was guiding her reached around her, knocking brusquely on the lacquered door. A few seconds later, it opened, and she was once again face to face with Cleo.

   She was wearing a form fitting pair of camo pants, and a long sleeved black shirt. Her green eyes were glittering as she looked Gina up and down, and a smile played on her lips when she took a step back.

   "Gina," she said warmly, gesturing for her to move forward. "I've been waiting for you."

   "I'm sure you have."

   Chuckling lightly, she pointed to the large sofa that sat on the right side of the room, just below a window that looked out onto an empty yard. The office was bright, with white walls and a sturdy Chippendale mahogany desk. A placard that simply read 'warden' sat on the front of it. Another painted portrait sat just behind it, and a man with wire-rimmed glassed surveyed the room, his large eyes looking out judiciously as she sat down.

   "Get the room ready," Cleo ordered, and the redhead turned around without a word, exiting the room and closing the door behind her.

   It was hard to define the feelings that were flooding her body at the moment, and Gina worked to keep them tamped down as Cleo turned around to face her. A slight buzzing had begun, first only on her right side, but as the woman got closer, it enveloped her, to the point that she could see Cleo's lips moving, but she didn't understand the words that were coming out.

   Cleo snapped her fingers, causing Gina to blink quickly, and the buzzing died down.

   "Did you hear what I said?" she asked, still smiling.

   "No."

   "I said, I'm happy to see your face again."

   "That's great for you," Gina drawled, earning herself a slap across the face. She fought the urge to strike back, knowing that Cleo was waiting for it. Instead, she imagined all of the ways that Negan was going to hurt her. Would he choke her? Stab her? Shoot her? The possibilities were endless.

   "Don't make me hurt you yet, Gina," Cleo told her, barely speaking above a whisper. "I don't want to do this too fast."

   She could feel a trickle of blood sliding down the corner of her mouth, and she recoiled as Cleo reached her hand out, wiping it away gently with her index finger. Looking at it in fascination, she rubbed the red liquid between her fingers before walking over to the desk. There was a revolver sitting there, and she picked it up, resuming her spot over her.

   Gina watched her with suspicion, the two women evaluating each other in silence until Cleo raised the gun above her head, bringing down on Gina's skull quickly with a crack. She felt herself pitch forward, and her world was plunged into blackness.


	105. Chapter 105

 

  
   The throbbing in her head was what brought her back to consciousness. That and the feel of soft fingers caressing her cheek. It was a slow circular motion on her face, lingering there as she lifted her head, seeing double as she opened her eyes.

   Gina was in a cell, a small ten by twelve-foot room that was dimly lit by the light that fought to get through the dingy window that sat behind her.

   Trying to lift her arms, she could only move them a few inches, trapped by handcuffs. Her legs were constricted, tied to the legs of the metal chair that she was propped up in. There was no bed in the room, only another chair that sat empty across from her as she took in her surroundings.

   Cleo had changed her outfit, dressing in a low-cut black top for some reason and a black pair of jeans. She'd applied a pink gloss to her lips, and they gleamed when the light hit them.

   "Welcome back," she said sweetly, running her fingers through Gina's hair. Lightly touching the sore spot on her head, Gina winced as the throbbing increased. "I brought some water for you."

   Reaching down to the ground, she picked up a bottle that was heavy with condensation, holding it to Gina's lips.

   "Did you poison it?" she asked, hearing her own voice crack.

   Cleo shook her head, bringing up in a fluid motion and taking a large swig. "Of course not."

   She held it out, and Gina took a long drink, stopping only when Cleo lowered the bottle. "Thanks," she muttered, trying to lift her hand again, to no avail. It made her nervous, not to be able to move, but she had no choice. She was most certainly trapped, and her only hope of escape was hinging on the tracker in her head. Cleo had knocked her out with a blow from the butt of her gun, but thankfully, it was on the top of her head and not the back where Eugene had placed the small metal piece.

   "Shall we begin?" Cleo asked, pulling the chair closer so that they could face each other. She sat down, and their knees brushed together. Producing a knife from her belt, she held it loosely in her hand, studying it. "We're going to play a little game now."

   It was a warning, Gina understood immediately, and her heart thumped in her chest, sending her blood pulsing through her body, even more so when Cleo began to smile.

   "It's called 'truth and lies', and here are the rules. I'm going to ask you some questions, and for every lie you've told me, I'm going to cut you. If you lie to me now, I'm going to stab you somewhere on your body. I'm thinking the soft parts at first. We don't want you to lose too much blood right away," she explained with a wink. "Pretty easy to understand, right?"

   Gina didn't reply, her eyes focusing on the blade of the knife. It was pristine, and she had a feeling that Cleo had spent a lot of time cleaning and sharpening it, just for this moment.

   "Do you understand?" she asked, her voice sharpening with every word.

   "Yes."

   "Good," she brightened at the response. "Okay, the first question is an easy one. Are you really from Georgia like you told me?"

   "Nope. Born and raised in Virginia."

   Extending the knife, Cleo dragged the blade across her forearm, making a two-inch cut that sent a thin line of blood streaming out. Gina didn't react, except for a brief wince, aware that Cleo was paying close attention.

   "And Carol? Was she born here, too?"

   "No," Gina said, shaking her head. "She's from Georgia."

   "Good girl," Cleo praised her, grinning as she wiped the blade off. "Question two is this: why did you ban Annabeth from your community?"

   Gina narrowed her eyes, frowning as Cleo waited for her answer. They'd obviously never discussed this before, and she was vaguely curious as to why the other woman wanted to know.

"Because she fucked my husband."

   Cleo's eyes widened in surprise. This was news to her, and Gina wondered what Annabeth had told her.

   "Are you lying to me, Gina?"

   "Why the fuck would I lie about that?" she snapped, clenching her fists, ignoring the tickle on her arm where the blood was spreading. "Annabeth fucked my husband, and he stopped it halfway through. She spent the weeks after following him around like a puppy, trying to get his attention."

   Getting to her feet, she pulled a set of keys out of her pocket, reaching through the bars to unlock the door, stalking out without a word. Once she was out of sight, Gina rattled the handcuffs, trying to see if she could slip her hands through the holes, but there was no wiggle room. All she was doing was scraping the skin on her wrists as she grunted, and she gave up for the moment, frustrated once again at her choices. She was hopelessly stupid. What the fuck was she thinking when she decided to come here? She should've just let Negan torture Annabeth for Cleo's location and they could've come and brought the fight here.

   Two sets of footsteps echoed down the hall, and she froze, wondering what was happening. A moment later, Cleo reappeared, steering Annabeth in front of her, and they stepped into the cell, Cleo closing the cell door again with a loud slam, which sent Gina's head into a full-blown migraine.

   Annabeth was looking around nervously, pink blotches forming on her neck as Cleo placed her hand on her shoulder, the fingers curling in tightly.

   "Did you fuck her husband?" she barked, making the blonde jump.

   "What? No."

   "You told me that Gina kicked you out because she was a power-hungry sociopath. You said that she lied her way into the community and seduced all the men in charge, alienating the other women. Were you lying?"

   "No," Annabeth insisted, shaking her head back and forth as the spots got redder. "That's what happened."

  Gina was still sitting calmly, looking at Annabeth with disappointment. She should've known that Annabeth would lie. Cheaters were also liars. Unable to stop herself, she let out a derisive chuckle.

   "You're so pathetic," she laughed. It didn't make her feel any better when Cleo smiled, but Annabeth seemed to lose her mind, lurching forward and slapping her across the face. Cleo yanked her back roughly, and Annabeth stumbled back, slamming into the bars with a yelp.

   The knife flew out, and Cleo stabbed the other woman in the heart, retracting the blade quickly as Annabeth looked down in shock, watching the blood pour out of her chest, clutching at it before slumping to the ground, her face smacking off of the concrete with a soft thud.

   "I don't like liars," Cleo murmured, crouching down and stabbing Annabeth again, this time in the temple. "Sorry about that," she said, wiping the knife off on her pants before taking her seat again.

   Too shocked to respond, Gina stared at the body, watching the blood as it spread slowly along the ground, pooling in a little dip in the concrete.

   "Shall we proceed?"

   Tearing her eyes away, she nodded mutely, breathing through her nose so that she didn't vomit.  
  
**Talia**

 

   Talia closed the door as softly as she could, tiptoeing her way back to her room. Evelyn had just been fed, and she was fast asleep in her crib along with Michael who slept in the adjacent bed. They'd been placed together in the room across from her and Daryl on the top floor, and she slipped back into her room, crawling on the bed next to him as he shifted to his side.

   "Everything alright?" he mumbled, reaching back to pat her as she pulled the covers up.

   "She's fine. Back to sleep now."

   They'd been at the Sanctuary for over three weeks, and the kids were still getting up several times a night, not having settled in the new sleeping arrangements. During the day they were fine, but every night without fail, one of the babies would get up every other hour, making for some exhausted adults.

   Gina's friend Sherry had pitched in to help them out, but even so, Talia had reached a point so far beyond exhausted that they'd have to come up with a new word for how tired she was. Sick of being away from their home, she grew antsier every day, impatient for something to happen.

   Coming back to the Sanctuary had been odd for her, as the last time she'd laid eyes on it, her sister was speeding away in a truck, her world having been crushed by the very people she now loved. The residents were nice enough, she thought, and Sherry was a kind woman, but it wasn't home. As much as Talia considered Alexandria her home, Reedville had become even more so. It was where Evelyn was born, and their family resided together.

   Closing her eyes, she willed herself to sleep, and it didn't take long given that it was well after midnight.

   A sharp series of knocks jolted her and Daryl awake, both of them jumping up at the same time. Daryl stumbled out of the bed as Talia flicked on the lamp, trying to get herself together.

   Dwight was standing in the hallway with Sherry, who rushed in past Daryl to the bed.

   "There's a Carol and Ezekiel here at the gates. They said it's an emergency."

   Talia jumped up, thankful that she didn't change out of her clothes from earlier as she shoved on a pair of shoes, handing Sherry the baby monitor as Daryl followed behind her. If they were here in the middle of the night, something extremely bad was happening, and she flew down the steps, out of breath when she reached the bottom.

   The ground level was deserted, and Daryl took her by the hand as they went out the main door, finding Carol and Ezekiel standing by a truck, both looking grim.

   "What happened?" Daryl growled, squeezing her hand so hard that she pulled it out of his grip, flexing her fingers.

   "Annabeth showed up tonight," Carol explained, letting out a deep breath. "Gina's going back with her in the morning to Cleo."

   "What?" It was all Talia could manage to spit out.

   "We're going to follow her, and attack," Ezekiel added, putting his arm around Carol as Dwight made his way over to them. There were several guards clustered next to the wall, all listening to the conversation as Talia struggled to take a deep breath.

   "Eugene was able to figure out a way for us to track them." She held up her hand as Talia opened her mouth to argue. "Cleo threatened to decimate the town if Gina didn't turn herself in."

   "What...I don't..." Talia trailed off. She was lost, completely out of the loop as to what the fuck was going on, and she hated it.

   "Can you spare any men?" Carol asked Dwight, who nodded, stalking over to the men that were congregating in a group. "We're going to get her back before Cleo can do anything to her."

   "Ya don't know that for sure," Daryl argued, putting his arm around Talia's shoulder to comfort her.

   "Annabeth told us that she didn't want to kill Gina right away. It's going to buy us some time to get in there and wipe them all out. For good."

   "So she's gonna be bait? A fucking pinata for her to play with?"

   It sounded harsh, especially to Talia.

   "Gina made the decision to go. We tried to dissuade her, but she wants this over with. Cleo has a tank and enough explosives to kill everyone," Carol replied in a smooth voice. Only her eyes gave away any emotion. "We need to get back. They're leaving at dawn."

   Talia turned around, walking back into the factory with a determined focus. The trip up the steps took only a few moments, and she went immediately to her room, changing her clothes into something more practical, pulling her gun from the drawer. As she pulled her hair into a ponytail, Sherry slipped into the room, still holding the monitor.

   "What happened?" she asked, her brown eyes searing Talia's face for any clues.

   In a monotone voice, Talia told her what was going on, lacing up her boots as she spoke.

   "Please, Sherry," she begged her as she stood up. "Guard these kids like they were your own."

   "I will. I promise."

   Embracing her roughly, she left the room, glancing at the closed door, saying a quick prayer of protection for the little lives sleeping in there before walking back down the steps and out into the chilly night. Everyone was bustling around, loading up weapons and vehicles as Carol and Ezekiel got back into their truck.

   They were back on the road in minutes, with four more trucks following behind them. Talia and Daryl were in the backseat, and she reached for his hand as she stared out the window into the darkness, her mind racing.

   "Do we have a plan?" she asked, biting at the corner of her lip.

   "Nothing more than to reign down hell on anyone that's there," Carol said, glancing back in the rearview mirror. "And find your sister."

  
**Gina**

 

  "Okay, let's get to the really important stuff."

   Cleo leaned forward, resting her elbows on her knees as she cracked her neck, turning it from side to side.

   There were over two dozen oozing cuts on Gina's arms, and one across her sternum, each one for a lie that she told. Most were innocuous. Where they'd come from, what their group was like. The deeper ones were from the lies that offended Cleo the most. The fact that she was married and not widowed. That she lied about losing her child.

   "Was there ever an Ed or a John?" she questioned, gesturing to her with the knife.

   "Yes."

   "Elaborate, please."

   Her arms were stinging, each cut causing its own little distraction. Not enough to cancel out the pain in her head, but to complement it. Still, she did her best to seem unaffected, even though she knew any word she uttered could be her last. Cleo could decide to end the game at any time, and she'd be just another corpse in the room. Annabeth's body was still laying behind them, the blood from her fatal wound having started to dry up, leaving murky brownish-red pools that were thickening with every passing moment.

   "Ed was Carol's husband, way back at the beginning of the end. They did live in Georgia, and he really was an abusive piece of shit. Thankfully, he was killed by walkers when their camp was attacked."

   "And John?"

   Gina's eyes closed automatically as she recited the words that Cleo wanted to hear.

   "After Annabeth and my husband had their little indiscretion, we broke up for a while. John was brought to our community by one of our other council members. We dated for a while," she confessed. "He ended up being a jealous guy, and he didn't like Negan. At all. They got into a fight, a physical one, and John knocked me to the ground."

   "And?" The word was surprisingly soft.

   "I ended things with him, and he became completely unhinged. Scared the shit out of me. When we found out that you attacked the Kingdom, it sent our community into a full-blown panic. I wanted Negan back in my house to keep him safe. It didn't sit well with John even though we were over, and when Negan went out on a run, he snuck into my house while I was sleeping, and he attacked me. I fought him off and he kicked me into the wall. That part was true."

   Cleo touched her softly on the hand, the only blood free part of her body other than her face that was showing, causing Gina to open her eyes.

   "He fled the community, but we found him." Breathing shakily, she finished her story. "I shot his dick off, and when I felt that he'd suffered enough, I put a bullet in his brain."

   "I'm sorry, sweetie," Cleo murmured, her eyes roaming over Gina's face. She didn't know why, but for some insane reason, she believed her. "That's the exact reason that I do what I do."

   "No," Gina said harshly, and Cleo reeled back. "Don't you get it? That was one fucking guy. One guy out of the thirty or so in my group. One asshole. How many innocent people have you taken out, all to punish one or two? That's wrong. You killed people I knew. People that were just living their lives, trying to bring civilization back from the brink. You don't know anything about the men and women you've murdered, because you don't want to. You just like butchering people."

   The knife pressed into her left arm, slicing it from elbow to wrist, and Gina let out a whimper, her head jerking up as Cleo yanked on her hair, towering over her.

   "Lies," she screeched, her face contorting with rage. "You're not lying to me. You're lying to yourself this time."

   "No, I'm not," she challenged, her breath hissing through her teeth as a new pain shot through her body. Her adrenaline was ramping up, trying to fight the loss of blood through her new, deep gash, her life essence leaking out onto the floor with wet, plopping drops.

   Out of nowhere, Cleo kissed her, pushing her tongue into Gina's mouth, pulling on her hair so roughly that she cried out. Panting, Cleo dropped her head onto Gina's shoulder, angling her head so that her nose was touching her neck.

   "I still want you," she murmured, loosening her grip on Gina's hair. "I have to kill you, and I still want to fuck you. Do you know how much this sucks?"

   Showcasing her complete inability to keep her mouth shut, Gina laughed roughly. "I wouldn't fuck you with a walker's decayed dick."

   Cleo pushed away from her, and Gina knew that she was going to die. She could see her own death coming as if it were moving in slow motion. She saw Cleo raise the knife above her head, poised to deliver a fatal blow when an explosion rocked the world, shaking everything from the ground up.

   Stumbling back a few paces, Cleo nearly tripped over Annabeth's body, her knife slipping out of her fingers, bouncing on the ground and landing at Gina's feet as she smiled.

   "You're going to die now."

   Cleo's mouth popped open in surprise as Gina began to laugh hysterically, the relief surging through her body.

   "Look at me, Cleo."

   Their eyes locked at Gina smiled the smile of someone who'd reached the very limits of their sanity.

   "Tell me. Am I lying?"


	106. Chapter 106

**Negan**

 

     
   The white dot was still moving steadily down the map, and he watched it obsessively as Rick drove, powering quickly down the road towards their final destination, wherever it was. They'd been on the road for a few hours, trailing behind Gina and Annabeth, and he was about ready to jump out of the truck and just run the rest of the way.

   Negan had felt helpless several times since he'd met Gina, but this was the worst instance that he could recall. All he had to hang his hopes for the future on was this tiny dot. This one link to her right now that continued to travel, keeping ahead of him, staying just out of reach.

   When they'd walked away from each other this morning, he'd gone over and over in his mind everything he'd ever wanted to say to her. Apologies for every fucking time he'd made her cry, from shitty things he'd said without thinking to his most egregious sins, one of which was riding in the car with her. He was pissed at himself for not stopping this stupid fucking plan right away. When he'd come up with the idea for trackers, he'd only planned on having it for himself. Maybe Rick. A way to locate them as they went out to search for Cleo.

   But Gina had bulldozed him once again. The only person who ever could. Hell, even Lucille had never gotten her way as much as Gina had, and they'd lived in a much more realistic, even-keeled universe. He'd only ever acquiesced to Lucille when it was too late to make a difference. Negan had loved her, truly, but when he tried to imagine Lucille in today's world, leaving him behind to infiltrate an enemy group or lead a community, he just couldn't do it. She'd always been too gentle, too accommodating. She never would've survived walkers and post-apocalyptic politics.

   "They've stopped," he told Rick, holding the screen out so that he could see it.

   Talia leaned over the front seat, scanning the screen. "So, they're about two hours away," she guessed, reaching for the map that sat in the back pocket of Rick's seat. "Just past the river."

   She unfolded the paper as he kept his eyes on the white dot, his heart flipping in his chest as the dot flickered briefly. Did something happen to her?

   "Let me see," she mumbled, holding out her hand, and Negan reluctantly handed it over as she compared the two landscapes. Her paper map was obviously more detailed as she studied them, and he turned in his seat, fighting the urge to snatch back the tracking device. It was his only link to Gina at the moment, and he felt like if he wasn't watching it, that she'd disappear forever.

   "They're just outside of Hopewell," she muttered, handing him back the machine, closing her eyes as her lips moved silently.

   "Is there anything notable there?" Rick asked.

   "I'm thinking," she murmured as Negan grew impatient, ready to reach out and shake her to get her talking.

   "There's a base near Hopewell, but I think it's further south. Fort Lee," Talia said, looking back down at the map. "Maybe a prison? A federal one?"

   Daryl snorted, giving Rick a laden look in the mirror and Negan raised his eyebrows, waiting for them to explain, his eyes dropping now and again to the screen. Gina was still in the same spot, and he rubbed his hand across the screen gently.

   "We lived in a prison in Georgia," Rick clarified, his breathing growing erratic.

   "And?"

   "Let's just say it's not our first prison battle," Daryl spat, his face darkening.

   "The Governor?" Talia asked, her voice dropping as Negan turned around, his curiosity growing. Who the fuck was the Governor?

   Daryl nodded, and Talia grasped his hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze.

   "He was an even bigger asshole than you, if ya can believe it," Daryl smirked, giving Negan a passing grimace.

   "I'm not sure I can," he admitted, all too aware of his wrongdoings.

   What followed next was a story so twisted and fucked up that he almost had a hard time believing. Walker heads in fish tanks, random killings of innocent people. The beheading of an old man and the slaughter of a group of his own people, the Governor almost made him feel better about the sins of his past. Almost. Bashing people over the head with Lucille wasn't anything to be proud of.

   "Jesus Christ," he stuttered as Rick filled in the gaps of what Daryl didn't know. Their recollections carried them down a road that led to cannibals. Being trapped in a train car and sent to a slaughterhouse to be strung up on hooks. "You fucking guys have had no luck whatsoever."

   "Yeah, well, we're still here," Daryl reminded him, punching him roughly on the shoulder.

   "True."

   Negan resumed his focus on the screen, blocking out images of decapitated old men and cannibals, choosing to focus on his own personal nightmare. The irrational feeling that Gina would disappear if he didn't maintain an eye on her dot haunted him, and he physically shuddered at the thought of what she was enduring.

   "We're almost there," Rick said, touching him lightly on the shoulder.

   Unable to respond, he nodded, clutching the screen tighter, his knuckles turning white. There was a caravan following behind them, all filled with weapons and fighters. Negan had been surprised to see that Dwight had accompanied Daryl and Talia, and he'd almost made a smart comment before reminding himself that Sherry had been with Cleo as well.

   So, there they were. Dozens of people who all had a bone to pick with this cunt, more or less. Though he hoped to be the one to kill her, he couldn't begrudge anyone else that was joining them if they were the ones to do it. Rick probably had the most right, but he wasn't sick enough to take any pleasure in it. He just wanted her dead.

   Negan, on the other hand, he had some very specific ideas in mind that he wanted to bring to fruition. Knives, a well-placed gunshot, the possibilities were endless. For a brief moment, he felt a pang of longing for his bat, lovingly wrapped in barbed wire, imagining it coming down on the unseen woman's head, tearing it open with a whack.

   The map grew smaller as they got closer to Gina, and when they were just over the bridge, they slowed to a stop, pulling off along the side of the road to regroup. Everyone stumbled out of their vehicles, forming a large circle around their truck as Rick laid out the map, speaking in a voice that carried through the crowd.

   "The tracker's stopped moving," he informed them, and we think that they're holed up in a prison."

   "Hey, I been there before," a man called out, pushing his way forward as Negan waved him forward. "That's Petersburg federal."

   Talia ducked back into the truck, producing a pencil from the glovebox and handing it to the middle-aged man that had become their new source of information.

   "My cousin was in that joint," he explained, looking around at the crowd. "It's a minimum security prison, and there are a few buildings on the property."

   "Can you draw us a map?" Negan pressed, tapping on the paper. "As much as you can remember."

   "Yeah, sure."

  He began to scribble as Daryl went to the bed of their truck, organizing their weapons for the attack.

   "There's a main building here," he pointed, referencing a crudely drawn square. "The cells are here, here, and here. All of this area is just open fields, and the whole property is surrounded by chain-link fences and razor wire. This is the main drive, but there are other roads circling the area."

   Negan looked to Rick, thinking hard. "We've got six trucks. I think we should just blow through the fences at six different points and attack. They can't have too many women. It's only been a few weeks since Carol took them out. If we surround them, we can box them in."

   There were a few murmurs in the crowd, but Negan didn't bother to pay attention. He only wanted to get this shitshow started and find Gina. It was a brutal thought, but no one else surrounding him mattered at the moment, including himself. He just wanted her.

   The next several minutes were spent directing the groups as to who would attack where. Talia and Daryl were committed to staying with them, and Negan felt a twinge of guilt. Gina was going to kill him if he made it through this when she found out her sister was here. But she was the best shot they had, and he knew Daryl would do anything to make sure she was safe.

   "Be sure you have your weapons ready now," Rick instructed them, folding up the map as Negan got into the truck. "Every vehicle has a radio, and I want to move as one unit. We need to all be in position before we drive through."

   Talia handed him several grenades and two machine guns and ammo, keeping the rest for her and Daryl. Negan set the extra gun on the seat, and Rick patted it absently as he climbed behind the wheel, starting the truck.

   They were the first to pull away, and as they passed Dwight's truck, the blond nodded at him once.

   It was completely silent until Talia let out a sigh, but Negan didn't turn around. He was too consumed with his own thoughts, hell-bent on making sure that they were successful. Each roll of the tires sent them closer to the prison, and just before they reached the area surrounding the barracks, Rick turned the truck to the right, guiding them along the right side of the fields.

   He had no idea if they'd been spotted, but he tucked three of the grenades into his pocket as they drove down a residential street, pulling between a pair of matching ranch houses that were halfway down the road. They came to a stop, and Rick radioed the other teams.

   As soon as everyone confirmed their positions, Negan flipped the safety off of the gun, tensing in his seat, the adrenaline pouring through his veins as his vision seemed to tunnel, only able to see what was in front of him.

   Rick gunned the engine, and they sped towards the fence, bursting through it at high speed, the links wrapping around the front of the truck, dragging along the ground. The field was full of divots and holes, and they bounced roughly as Rick tried to keep control of the wheel.

   "Over there," Daryl growled, his arm popping up between them to point towards a large white building. Sitting directly behind it was the tank that Annabeth warned them about.

   Before they could get much further, a spray of bullets hit the truck, and they all ducked as Rick swung the truck, slamming Negan into the door as it screeched to the side.  
The four of them scrambled out of the opposite side, and Negan began to fire blindly to allow Talia to set her sights on the shooters.

   "Keep firing," she screamed, peeking her head over the bed of the truck as she lined up her gun.

   All around them was absolute bedlam as the other groups joined the chaos, but Negan shut it out like he always did, choosing to direct his rage to the people in front of him. A hundred yards away sat the tank, and even though he knew there was a snowball's chance in hell that he'd get it close enough, he threw the grenade in his hand. He'd gotten it pretty close, and it went off with a thundering boom, shooting grass and dirt into the air, a wide spray that obscured their vision.

   Talia was on a singular mission, firing with precision, and Negan could see a few bodies hit the ground as the dust settled. They waited a few seconds, but no further shots came their way, and he took off at a full-blown run. Daryl kept pace with him, peeling off at the last minute towards the tank, and Negan heard him yell to keep going.

   He, Talia and Rick slammed up against the wall of the building when another explosion rang out, drowning out everything. They hit the ground, and he fell on top of Talia, shielding her from the shrapnel that flew through the air, grunting when something hard glanced off of his back, knocking the breath from his lungs.

   His ears were ringing as he rolled off to the side, coughing weakly. Death would've been the preferred option by this point, if not for the brown eyes that called to him like a siren song, somewhere close by.

   Negan struggled to his feet, extending his hand to Talia, who grasped it loosely. Rick was on his knees, coughing as he doubled over, and after she got to her feet, Talia took off towards the smoldering wreck that used to be a tank. Limping after her, Negan held his gun at the ready, looking for any signs of life but finding none.

   "Daryl!"

   Negan motioned for her to shut up, but she didn't pay him any attention, her only thoughts for him. As they rounded the hot metal, Talia lurched forward, spying Daryl in a heap on the ground, blood coming from his shoulder. She dropped to her knees, shaking him roughly, but he was unconscious.

   "Wake up, Dixon," she pleaded, but her voice was tinny to his ears, still muffled by the sound of the explosion. Negan got down next to her, knocking her hands away as he felt for a pulse. It was steady underneath his fingertips, and he sat back on his heels to catch his breath.

   "He's got a pulse," he said loudly, unable to control the volume of his voice.

   A strong hand came down on his shoulder, and he swung his arm automatically, bringing up his gun with one hand. It was Rick, who hauled him to his feet.

   "I'm going to pull the truck up so we can load Daryl in," he yelled, gesturing behind him. "Don't move til I get back."

   He took off running, and as soon as he was far enough away, Negan left, edging around the building as the buzzing in his head faded somewhat. Daryl was forgotten as he crept around the white walls, trying to deduce where Gina would be.

    _Think, asshole. Where would you put her?_

   He knew before the words even finishing forming in his head. She'd be in a cell.

   As he reached the edge of the building, a woman ran by, her arm wrapped up in a sling. He took one step before firing, hitting her in the back of the head, and she flew forward, tumbling to the ground, her gun flying out of her hand onto the asphalt.

   "Thanks, bitch," he muttered as he picked it up, looking around to make sure no one else was around.

   Off in the distance, he could see several figures, but they appeared to be men, some of the ones that came from the Sanctuary.

   Suddenly, there was a popping sound, and his arm was on fire. He looked down, realizing with shock that he'd been shot. Blood was pouring from his bicep as he dove back behind the building, anger surging through his veins.

   "Motherfucker," he swore, not sure if he was more pissed at whoever shot him or himself for being stupid enough to get tagged.

   He could hear the door at the front of the building slam, and without one thought of the consequences, he ran to it, whipping it open as his arm shook, leaving a trail of blood on the ground. Aiming the weapon, he scanned the large entryway, finding no signs of life.

   There was a long hallway leading away from the door, and he made his way slowly towards the rows of offices, turning the knob of the first door slowly, pushing it open.

   It was empty, just a small reception area. Shuffling to his side, he repeated the actions at the second room, finding it just as bare.

   "Negan!"

   The voice that echoed from the entrance made him jump, his fatal mistake, his head sweeping towards the sound.

   The feel of cold metal against the base of his skull made him freeze, the gun dangling from his fingers as a voice sounded behind him.

   "The famous Negan."

   The voice was female, low and rich, and he stiffened.

   "I heard so much about you."

   "Let me guess? Cleo?" he growled, wanting nothing more than to ram his fist straight through her heart.

   "The one and only," she purred, and he saw her arm come over his, reaching for his gun. He loosened his hold on it, and she snatched it with a blood-covered hand, tossing it behind her. A muted clank sounded behind him as it hit the carpet.

   "Where the fuck is Gina?"

   "Sorry, Charlie," she laughed, poking him with the muzzle. "You're a day late and a dollar short, as usual. I just slit her throat open no more than ten minutes ago. Better luck next time, handsome."

   His world split in two at that moment. Before her and after. A rage like no other filled every cell in his body as he dropped to his knees, screaming with a pain that no one else could understand.


	107. Chapter 107

 

  
   "Stand up."

   Negan didn't respond. He couldn't. He was trapped inside his mind, unable to process anything but the words that had shattered his world. Gina was dead. 

   The only thing on his body that he could feel was the back of his neck, where the cold metal of Cleo's gun was pressing firmly. 

   "Listen, man," she sighed, pressing it harder, "I understand that I just gave you some shitty news, but I want you on your feet. Now."

   A click echoed by his ear as she cocked the weapon, but he didn't move. What was the point? He failed.

   "Think about your children," she snapped. "You don't want to leave little Michael and Casey orphans do you? Gina would be disappointed."

   That did it. 

   He lurched to his feet, the adrenaline flooding his body as he twisted around, his only thought to cleave this bitch's head from her shoulders. She had no fucking right to speak about their kids. Ever.  

   "Ah, ah, ah," she warned him, taking a step back. 

   She was tall, taller than he expected. Her green eyes watched him carefully as she reached into her pocket, producing a pair of handcuffs that she tossed at his feet. 

   "Put them on."

   He refused until she struck out, hitting him in the arm with the gun, landing it directly on the hole that was still oozing blood, causing him to nearly drop to his knees again.

   The physical pain that he'd shuttled away in his mind came rebounding back, making him swear out loud.

   Pointing at the cuffs, she hardened her face, urging him to comply. 

   After a tense moment, he bent down snapping them around his wrists before staring her down. 

   "Good," she said, taking a step to the side. "Down the hall to the last door."

   His steps were slow and calculating as he tried to figure out a way to disarm her. It was going to be tricky now that his hands were shackled. Cleo was following behind him, and they reached the door when someone called out his name again.

   "Tell them not to come any closer, or I'll kill you and then I'll murder the rest of your people," she warned him in a steady voice. "I've got more than enough bullets in my office."

   "Stay back," he yelled. "I don't want anyone else to get hurt."

   There was no response, and she poked him in the back, prompting him to open the door, stepping inside. It was an office, furnished fully with a couch, a desk, and even a bar. 

   "Have a seat at the desk," Cleo directed, shutting the door, locking it securely. Why he even bothered to listen to her, Negan didn't know. 

   That was a lie. He did know. He was going to find out exactly what happened to Gina. He had to hear how he failed her, once again. 

   He sat down heavily in the chair, causing it to scoot back several inches, his hands resting on his stomach as Cleo moved quickly to the windows, closing the blinds so that no one could see in. It darkened the room significantly, prompting her to turn on several electric lanterns that dotted the room. 

   She was attractive, just as Gina said. Large breasts, full hips, and lips that looked like they'd just been primped up, glossy and pink. 

   Once she turned to face him, she looked him over as well, smiling.

   "I can see what the fuss was about," she said, inching her way closer, the gun never leaving its trajectory at his forehead. "You are one damn fine specimen. Physically, anyway."

   "Fuck you, you diseased whore."

   It only caused her smile to widen. "You sound just like Gina used to."

   The mere mention of her name made his stomach roil, the urge to vomit overwhelming him. 

   "Don't say her name, you useless cunt."

   The smile faltered, and she flashed him a murderous gaze. 

   "Careful, handsome. I don't want to kill you, yet."

   "What the fuck are you waiting for?"

   Cleo backed slowly towards a white door in the corner of the room, her form fading in the low light. Keeping her gun trained on him, she opened it, and he squinted to see as she disappeared inside, returning with a large black bag that she was dragging on the ground. 

   "You're going to help me get out of here," she told him, squatting down to unzip the canvas bag. "You're my little insurance policy."

   He laughed. He couldn't help it. A deep booming laugh that sent her head cocked to the side as she gave him a curious look.

   "Lady, you may as well fucking shoot me now, because there is no way in hell I'm going to help you escape. You're even crazier than Gina said."

   Cleo reached into the bag, extracting another gun, palming it in her free hand before straightening up. Very casually she aimed it at him, pulling the trigger. 

   He howled in pain, another bullet making its way into his arm, in almost the exact same spot as the previous one, and he nearly slid off of the chair. The meat of his arm was torn in two, a large gaping hole that burned and throbbed so harshly that he nearly passed out. 

   His head was roughly yanked up, and he was eye to eye with Cleo, who was leaning over him, licking her lips as she curled her fingers into his hair, pulling hard enough to keep his neck taut. 

   Out of the corner of his eye, he could see that one of the guns was sitting on the edge of the desk, the other now running up and down his chest. 

   "You shouldn't talk to crazy people that way," she chastised him, close enough to him that her breath spilled across his cheek, warming it slightly. "It isn't polite."

   Her hand loosened slightly, and her fingers began to caress the back of his head, plucking at his hair. 

   "You didn't deserve her, you know."

   "No, shit," he said, his eyebrow rising as he ignored the agonizing pain that was emanating from his arm. There was another pain that was worse, pushing its way out of his heart. 

   "She loved you, though. Right before I slit her from ear to ear, she begged for your life. Pleaded for me to leave you be. She said that she wanted you to live, to take care of your children. She told me to tell you that she was sorry."

   It was like a punch to the gut, and his head dropped to his chest. A wave of images washed over him. Gina in the corner of the basement, the first day he ever laid eyes on her, bloody and beaten. Ethereal in a white gown the first time he'd ever slept with her. The light in her eyes when she'd lean in to kiss him. Even her broken body when she'd given birth to Michael, pale and unresponsive. Each image was a sharp as a razor, cutting into him over and over, running endlessly through his brain as he prayed for his heart to just give out, to end the pain that he was trapped in now and forever. 

   "I'll make this easy for you," she said, pushing away from him as she circled the desk. "You help me get out of here, and I'll take you to her body. Let you see her one last time."

   Negan shook his head, unable to look up. 

   "I didn't stab her in the head, just so you know. She could turn at any time. You can bring her peace."

    _No. Not again._

  He looked up, his eyes red as the implications dawned on him. 

   Gina. Lucille. Their faces blended in his mind. He'd been a fucking coward, the worst sort of craven when Lucille died. Too much of pussy to make sure that she didn't turn. He couldn't leave Gina to the same fate. 

   "Okay." 

   The word was hoarse. Despondent. Mournful. Broken.

 

**Gina**

 

   A second explosion sounded, even closer than the first, and the walls shook, dust raining down on them as Cleo struggled to remain upright. 

   "I told you," Gina warned her, coughing as her lungs filled with dust. "You better get a head start, because they're coming for you."

   Cleo scrambled for the knife that was sitting at Gina's feet, and in one swift motion, she swung her arm, slashing Gina's throat. The pain was immediate, and she gurgled, stunned. Her eyes unfocused as she felt warm, sticky blood coat the outside of her neck, sliding down into her shirt. She was dying, and there wasn't anything she could do about it.

   Without a backward glance, Cleo kicked Annabeth's corpse to the side, unlatching the door and taking off at a run, leaving Gina to bleed out in the middle of the room. 

  The door drifted slowly closed, stopping only as it caught on Annabeth's arm, leaving a six-inch gap. Too shocked to move, Gina stared blankly at the bars, waiting to finally succumb to death. 

   But she didn't. 

   The sounds of gunfire and fighting continued on outside as she felt the sticky liquid trickling down her skin. But she didn't fade into oblivion, and she wasn't sure why. 

   The walls shook again, causing the keys that were sitting in the lock to jingle. 

    _What's happening? Why am I still here?_

   It was a farce. The entire thing. It had to be. Maybe she was already dead. Maybe this was just purgatory. Maybe, you stayed someplace similar to where you died while you waited for judgement. 

   Did you also feel pain while you were there? Because she did. A stinging in her neck, a throbbing in her arms, and a dull pain in her head. 

   Slowly, at a tortoise's pace, she wiggled her fingers. They were still obeying her commands, and she wasn't sure why. She thought she'd feel disembodied by now, but nope. They were working. 

   Could she get to the keys before she finally died? At least get herself out of this chair. It was worth a shot.

   Her legs were tied to the metal legs of the chair, but they weren't flush with them. Rocking her body back and forth, it took her several tries, but she was able to get enough momentum to rise to her feet, hunched over like an old woman, watching the blood drip from her neck onto the floor, disappearing into Annabeth's pools of waste. 

   Dizzy and nauseous, she waddled slowly towards the bars, inching around the corpse that blocked her way. It was excruciating and laborious, but she finally bumped her head into the metal door, collapsing backwards and nearly falling over with a groan. 

   Her voice still worked, so she figured finally that Cleo didn't cut her as deeply as she wanted to, missing her vocal chord. She was still leaking blood, however, and if she didn't get herself free, she would definitely die. And Negan was so close by. He had to be. She need to see him one more time before she finally died. She need to tell him that she was sorry, and that she loved him more than her own life.  

   With her left boot, she inched the door open, hopping up and down in her seat to get herself closer to the keys. There were only a few different ones on the ring, but her eyes filled with tears when she saw a tiny silver one hidden among the brass. 

   Leaning forward, she opened her mouth, grasping the metal with her teeth, fighting the urge to puke, the feel of the metal on her teeth making her shudder. She had to turn her head to loosen the hold of the lock, sending a fresh wave of pain through her neck, nearly causing her to pass out as spots formed in her vision. 

   "Please," she said through her teeth. "Not yet."

   With a yank that she thought would knock out her front teeth, the keys sprung free. 

   Breathing heavily, she angled her head over her outstretched palm, dropping her mouth as close to her hand as she could. Her jaw went slack as she released the keys, and they hit her hand with a jingle. 

   Gina's chest was wet with blood, and her pulse was throbbing unsteadily as she turned the keys in her hand, trying to move carefully and deliberately, knowing that if she lost her hold on them, she was done for. 

   With trembling fingers, she got a grip on the handcuff key, twisting her wrist to insert it in the cuff that was wrapped around the arm of the chair, working slowly to get it secure. With a click, the metal separated, freeing her arm for the first time in hours, and she began to sob. The key was stuck in the cuff, and she brought her arm over to the left side to use her other hand to get it out. 

   In two minutes, both of her arms were free, and she immediately brought them to her neck to feel the damage. Her hands came away covered in blood, and she could feel a thin slice across the top of her neck underneath her chin. 

   Gina allowed herself a minute to freak out, breathing unsteadily as she looked around the room in a daze, her eyes finally landing on the knife that lay discarded on the floor.

   She tipped herself over, dragging herself across the bloody room, using the tips of her fingers to get it closer. 

   Breathless, she reached behind her, sawing at the plastic ties that had been used to secure her, scraping her calf as she cut through the left one, her leg popping free. The other one was harder, because she had to twist herself around to reach it, and she repeated the process, kicking the chair away once she was done. 

   In a daze, she reached for the bottle of water that was sitting near Annabeth, sucking it down as her throat screamed in protest. Gina was weak from blood loss, and it occurred to her that it had gotten quiet outside. Disturbingly so. She needed help, and she needed it quickly. 

   Clutching the knife, she pulled herself to her feet, bracing her fists on her knees, both relieved and alarmed to see that the blood had slowed to a few scattered drops that fell from her neck. That was either very good or very bad. 

   As she stumbled back towards the door, she stopped briefly to cut a piece of fabric from Annabeth's pants, a long strip along her hip. It was the only part of the clothing that wasn't doused in blood. 

   Wavering slightly, she tied it firmly around her neck, only stopping the pressure when she started to gag. 

   Knife poised, she took weak steps down the hall, using the metal bars to keep herself upright as she followed a strip of light that beckoned to her.

   "Negan," she rasped, talking to no one. Talking to herself. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All right, so I actually looked it up, and you CAN survive getting your throat cut. It's apparently not like it is in the movies. This doesn't mean that Gina is out of the woods, but she's not down for the count yet.


	108. Chapter 108

 

  
   Weak, dazed and mildly disoriented, Gina stumbled out of the metal door that led out to open air, her head drooping slightly as she struggled to focus. 

   "We got a walker," came a sharp voice to her right, and her head lifted along with her arm, fearing that she was about to be eaten, the thought never occurring to her that she was the one they were referring to.

   "Hold up!"

   It was a different voice, one that she knew but couldn't place, and she swayed on her feet, searching for the owner of those words. 

   He found her quickly, and he pulled the knife from her hand as she swung out blindly, her fist connecting with soft skin, but doing little damage since she was so weak.

   "Gina?" 

   "Gina, it's Dwight."

   With a pained groan, she steadied her gaze as best she could, Dwight's blurry face coming somewhat into focus. He was mere inches from her, and she stared at him stupidly, no words or thoughts coming to her brain.

   "You're...here."

   He was wary, either of frightening her or sending her into some sort of murderous rage. She wasn't sure which. 

   "Come with me," he pledged, taking her carefully by the shoulder. "Rick's not far."

   "Negan?"

   "I'll explain, just come. You need help," he told her softly, guiding her through the field, keeping her upright when she nearly tumbled to the ground. There were a handful of people surrounding them, but she didn't recognize any of them. 

   The sun was still beating down on them, hurting her eyes, but that was the least of the aches and pains that permeated her body. Her neck was on fire, the cloth that she'd tied around it digging into the ripped skin that sat underneath. 

   Her gaze was on the ground in front of her as she moved with stumbling steps, growing weaker with every shuffle of her legs. 

   "I don't feel so good," she mumbled, vaguely aware of the shaking sensation that was traveling from her feet upwards. Before she could hit the ground, Dwight caught her with a grunt, and she felt herself being carried at a much quicker pace, her head tucking down towards her chest, allowing her to see the large volume of blood that stained the front of her once white shirt. 

   "Crimson," she muttered, naming the new color. 

   Dwight tried to keep her steady, but with his faster steps, she bounced up and down. "Hang in there, girl," he panted as her eyes closed.

   It was thirty seconds or thirty minutes later when a rough hand swept across her forehead, jolting her from her stupor, and she glanced up into blue eyes. Shocked eyes. 

   "Rick," she croaked, feeling like she was falling when he took her from Dwight, carrying her towards some unknown destination. "Where's Negan?"

   He didn't respond, hoisting her up higher as he called out for help.

   As gently as he could, he set her down on the flatbed gate of one of the trucks, the heat from the metal soaking into her butt, making her a bit more alert. His hands were trembling as he reached around her neck to untie the cloth, but she stopped him, wrapping her fingers around his wrists, too afraid to have it come off.

   "Don't," she told him with a breathy sigh. "My head might fall off."

   He looked at her as if she was crazy, retracting his hands and sliding his arms through her fingers to grasp them with his own.

   "She slit my throat," Gina explained, the pain in her neck intensifying as she fought to hold back her tears, the multitude of cuts along her arms grabbing his attention.

   "Oh my God." Pure horrification and rage settled on his face as several people rushed forward, Carol among them. 

   "Can you drink?" she asked, holding out a bottle of water. 

   Gina nodded, tipping it to her lips and swallowing slowly, the cool liquid sliding down. She didn't stop until it was all gone, and when she dropped it, she caught a wave of dizziness that almost sent her pitching forward. Rick steadied her until she regained her equilibrium. "I've lost a lot of blood."

   "We gotta get her out of here now," he ordered, turning his head to Carol. "She and Daryl need medical attention."

   "No," she begged, clutching at his shirt. "Where's Negan?"

   He refused to look at her, so she turned to Carol, the water in her stomach now sitting like a stone. 

   "We think Cleo has him," she replied, looking as sorry as Gina had ever seen her. 

   It was like someone detonated a bomb in her brain, and she pushed at Rick, trying to climb down from the truck, desperate to get to him. His arms locked around her like a vise, blocking her on the bed, and she let out a scratchy wail, the prospect of being kept away from him breaking her psyche.

   "We have to get him," she begged, laying her head on his shoulder as he held her. "I need to help him."

   "I'm not going to leave him, Gina," he promised, trying to soothe her. "I swear. We're going to figure out something."

 

**Talia**

 

   There was one woman left to kill. Just one, and Talia was moving from building to building trying to find her. 

   Once they'd gotten Daryl loaded into the truck and away from the fight, she'd unleashed her rage one anyone that wasn't them. It didn't matter if they weren't firing back. Women fleeing, women fighting, they all got a bullet from her gun. 

   Kicking at the metal door that led to the furthest jailhouse, she swung her arm in, ready to shoot at the first sign of movement. The hall was moderately lit, and she could see down the corridor to the opposite end of the building. Metal bars snaked all the way down each side, and she moved slowly and deliberately past each one, finding them all empty. 

   The other core of her search involved her sister, but there was no sign of her. Talia was frustrated at not locating her, and with heavy steps, she started back out the door, met by Dwight, who was breathing erratically. 

   "We found her," he said, gesturing for her to follow. 

   She shot past him as they entered the front field, seeing Rick and the others clustered around one of the trucks. Talia pushed her way through, stopping cold as she saw the condition that Gina was in. 

   Her arms looked like they'd been through a wood chipper, and there was so much blood covering her that she would've sworn that someone dumped red paint down her body. 

   "Gigi?"

   Gina looked over at her with no emotion, and Talia approached her slowly, unsure of what to do. She was terrified to hug her, not wanting to cause her sister any physical pain, but it was the look in her eyes that scared Talia the most. She had the carriage of someone who'd given up. 

   "Cleo has him, Talia," she choked, lifting her arms slightly. 

   Talia swallowed thickly, stepping forward to embrace her sister, at a loss of what to say. They all stood in silence, the restless movements of the others catching her attention as they kept watch. 

   "Rick!"

   The voice came out of a bullhorn, and it was Negan. Talia could feel Gina tense underneath her, and she held her steady as Rick took off towards the sound, his gun drawn as he ran. Carol, Dwight, and Ezekiel all started off after him as the rest of the men maintained the positions, all ready for the next stage of the battle. 

   The foursome disappeared around the corner of the jailhouse closest to the main building, leaving her and Gina holding each other. 

   "See? He's still alive," Talia told her, trying to sound confident and assured. "We'll get him free."

   "She's going to kill him," Gina cried, her body shaking. "She'll execute him in front of everyone."

   "No," Talia said, gripping her shoulders. "Everyone else is dead. If he's still alive, it's because she needs him."

   Gina's head lifted, and she could swear she saw a spark of hope in her eyes. 

   "Let me go," Gina told her, trying to climb down. "I'll trade myself for him. I'll-"

   "No fucking way," Talia hissed, not caring that Gina reeled back from her, gasping. "You're barely on your feet. Negan's probably in far better shape than you are. He'll be able to fight."

   Gina's eyes closed as two tears slipped down, sliding along her cheeks, making a wet path as they dropped onto her lap. Words wouldn't comfort her sister. Actions would.

   They waited in silence, stony silence for any sort of clue as to what was going on. It didn't take long as Rick came jogging around the corner with everyone else in tow. Nearly out of breath when he returned, he slammed his hand down on the metal, cursing loudly as the two women jumped.

   "She's got him as a hostage. She claims that she'll blow this entire place and all of us with it if we don't retreat. We have three minutes to leave the property. She's taking Negan with her, and he's insisting that we comply. He thinks Gina's dead."

   Gina began to hyperventilate, scaring Talia into action. _Like hell. This cunt was not getting away this time._

   Drawing every bit of strength that she possessed, she scrambled up into the bed of the truck, tossing guns aside as she looked for the one she wanted. Buried in the corner under a load of bullets was the rifle. The rifle that fit best in her hand. 

   Checking the scope, she jumped over the side, loading it as Rick came to stand in front of her. 

   "Give me a radio," she barked, holding out her hand. "Get everyone out of here. As soon as I have her under control I'll call you back."

   "You'll put him in danger," Rick said, yanking her roughly. "You'll put yourself at risk."

   "I'm not letting her get away. She's already gotten away with too much. Look around," Talia exploded, gesturing to the compound. "Everyone's dead. She's alone. She has no fucking idea how many of us are here. I'm staying and I'm getting him back. We're not leaving Negan behind." 

   They stared each other down, but Talia wasn't going to budge. If he didn't leave, she was going to do it anyway. The only difference was, he'd be putting them all in harm's way. 

   "Let's go," he ordered, backing away from her. "She wants to see every truck leaving around the front."

   The rest of the men scattered, heading towards the vehicles that were spread out along the property. 

   "Do we have any idea which way she's going to be coming out?" Talia asked, standing by the driver's door as Rick slammed it shut. "Did you see any cars or anything?"

   "There's only one that I saw that's not wrecked," he told her, starting the engine. "It's parked at the edge of the parking lot in front of the building. I saw her eyeballing it when we were talking." Rick, ever the cop, missed nothing.

   Talia stepped up onto the running board, her heart racing as she ducked down, holding on through the open window. "Then that's where you're dropping me off. Just make sure you keep this side of the truck facing out."

   His face was blank as he nodded, and she smiled at Gina, who was huddled in the back seat, curled up in Carol's arms. As soon as the truck edged forward, she braced herself against the metal, pressing the gun along the door, trying to keep from falling off. 

   Sensing that she was struggling, Rick's hand clamped down firmly on hers, and she looked up to see him watching her briefly before focusing back on the ground ahead. They were moving at a snail's pace, waiting for everyone else to line up behind them, and she could see Dwight gawking at her as he got closer. 

   The procession snaked around the outer building in a wide arc, carrying her closer to the white building. Since she was hidden down low, she couldn't see exactly where they were, but just as she was ready to ask him to tell her when to jump, the truck turned sharply right, and he released her.

   "Now," he said, and she let herself fall backward, hitting the ground with a huff. The grass was tall, providing her with some cover, but she rolled to her stomach, popping up slightly so that she didn't get hit by the trucks following. As they moved past her, she checked to make sure the radio wasn't damaged, lining herself up with the front wheel of the SUV. 

   When the final truck passed by, she crawled through the grass, collapsing down into the rocky dirt, the gun propped up against the hubcap. She desperately wanted to peek out to see if there was any movement, but her training, what little she had, was screaming at her to wait. To let things die down. Let Cleo think that they'd cowed to her and given in. Given up. 

   Instead, she closed her eyes, trying to visualize what she wanted to accomplish. Cleo was smart, so she wouldn't come rushing out. She would make sure that the area was empty before she'd move. 

   She'd also make sure that Negan was blocking her from any threat, collateral damage in case she'd miscalculated. What she couldn't know is that Talia was a damn good shot. She may have missed with Negan all those years ago, but she wouldn't miss again. 

   It was ironic, fitting even, that she was now looking to save the one person she'd wanted to kill all those years ago. She'd grown to love the fucker, and she needed to make sure he lived. They were a family. Every single person that lived in their community, even asshole Tina. 

   The seconds ticked by, and with a shallow breath, she eased herself to the side, one eye peeking out to get the layout of what was in front of her. The yellow grass tickled her ear as the wind picked up, and she fought the urge to smack it away. Talia had to make sure that she didn't move any more than she had to, unwilling to give away her position. 

   A large gray parking lot loomed in front of her, and diagonally to the left was the main building. From her vantage point, she could just make out the front door, a double door that was closed. There was no movement from any of the windows, and she shut her eyes, calculating the angle that she was at, the distance between the car and the door, and where best to take the shot. 

   Her shoulder began to stiffen up from the position she was in, and she edged her way back behind the wheel massaging it with her free hand. Waiting. Hoping. Praying.

   The seconds turned into minutes, and she was just about to give up when in the distance, the sound of a door clicking shut caused her breath to hitch in her throat. Her pulse began to throb, pounding in her neck as she took the gun with sweaty hands, laying it flush against the ground, trying to get the proper grip. 

   Planting her elbows on the hard dirt, she moved slowly towards the center of the car, sending a plea to her mother and father for strength as she squinted into the scope, trying to get her bearings. A closeup of the ground, a flash of blinding white. A black bag.

   Nearly jumping in surprise, she slowly adjusted the gun, the picture sharpening as she incrementally raised it up. Legs, moving slowly. First two, then three as a part of Cleo's body came into view. Higher up, their waists, then a shock as she saw that Negan's arm was looking very similar to hamburger meat. 

   Finally his face. His broken, heartbreaking face. Eyes downcast, his lips barely moving as he said something. A gun poking him in the neck, held by a muscular arm, and a hint of reddish hair.

   Cleo must have said something back, because he came to a stop, turning his head to the side even as the gun pressed deeply into his skin. A fraught moment later, he resumed his staggering pace, lugging the black bag.

  _Come on. Give me the shot._

   Her face turned as Cleo surveyed the area, looking for danger, and Talia's finger curled into the trigger. _Breathe_ , her dad said into her ear. 

   Cleo's shoulder protruded out, and she fired, praying that Negan would react. 

   The bitch's shoulder rocked back, sending her stumbling, and Talia rolled to her feet with a grace that she never had before in her life. Negan dropped the bag before she even took a step, launching himself at the other woman, and they fell to the ground, each struggling for control of her gun.

   Talia took off running, crossing the parking lot, possibly without her feet touching the ground, somehow having remembered to grab the radio. Negan was losing ground as she got closer, his injured arm doing more harm than good, and Cleo was inching the gun towards his head when Talia aimed a well-timed kick, making contact with her hand. 

   The gun went off as it flew out of her hand, the shot going just over Negan's shoulder. Talia may have hit his arm as well, but she wasn't entirely sure that's why he was screaming, his hands wrapping around Cleo's throat as she clawed at the gaping hole in his bicep. 

   Raising her arms above her head, she saw Cleo look at her with wide eyes, looking like she'd seen a ghost until Talia smashed her in the head with the butt of her gun, knocking her out. 

   Negan's hold on Cleo's neck tightened, and she tried to push him off of her, only to get knocked onto her ass. 

   "I'll kill her," he hollered, taking on the guise of a madman. 

   Fumbling with the radio, she nearly dropped it, and it bounced around in her outstretched hands.

   "Rick! She's down! Hurry!"

   Dropping to her knees, she pried at Negan's hands, trying to get him to stop, but it was like pulling at concrete.

   "She killed her," he raged, spit flying out of his mouth. "She slit Gina's throat."

   "Negan," she screeched, resorting to slapping his face. "Negan, she's alive. Gina's alive."


	109. Chapter 109

  
   Negan's hands loosened slightly, though he didn't take them off of Cleo's neck. It was like he was frozen in one spot, his eyes raking over Talia's face, trying to determine if she was lying to him just to get him to cease murdering the unconscious woman.

   Talia inched closer, laying her hand gently across his forearm.

   "She's alive. She's on her way to the Sanctuary," she said softly, on the verge of tears.

   "Cleo said she slit her throat," he uttered after a moment, his face blanching at the thought.

   Talia nodded. "She did. But she's not dead. She's hurt, and we're gonna get her help. But she was alert and upright in the truck, I swear."

   He looked almost afraid to be hopeful, and she felt a pang of sympathy for him. They were so close to the end, to what would amount to peace and normality, at least until the next danger presented itself.

   "Talia, I...I can't," he said, the words floundering in his throat, and she thought that she finally understood him. His true feelings for Gina. 

   She knew that Negan loved her, but in the back of her mind, she always thought that it was on more of a physical level. A surface thing. Talia couldn't quite put into words what her assumptions were, but she'd harbored the impression that she and Daryl had shared something deeper than Gina and Negan, because they were so in sync, mostly operating on an even keel. Was it her first impression of him all those years ago that colored her judgement, even though she'd seen so many different sides to him since then? Maybe.

   But right here, right now, it sent a shiver down her spine to witness the utter bearing of his soul, to her. Overwhelmed with emotion, she pulled him into a hug. "It's okay," she soothed, talking to him as if he were a child. "It's going to be okay."

   They broke apart only when the rumble of trucks got closer, and he wiped at his face with his good hand, dragging it across his cheeks as she gave him a tender smile. 

   Two trucks came screeching to a stop about twenty feet away from them, and Talia got to her feet first, glancing back to make sure Cleo was still unconscious. Spying the black bag, she bent down, yanking it open. Inside were a shit ton of guns, some boxes of ammunition, three sharp hunting knives, and two pairs of handcuffs. Shoved into the corner were some bottles of water and some cans of food. 

   Rick scrambled out of the passenger's side of a blue truck, running over with his gun drawn, glancing quickly at Negan, who was still hunched over on the ground. 

   "Is she dead?" he asked, taking note of the ragged hole in her shoulder and the red marks along her neck, topped off with a goose egg on her forehead.

   "No," Talia said, straightening up. 

   Extending his arm, he waited patiently until Negan wrapped his hand around Rick's forearm, rising with a painful grunt. 

   "What do you want to do with her?" Negan asked, jerking his head slightly. "Or should we finish this here?"

   In a day of epiphanies, another one landed in her lap as Rick laid his hand on Negan's shoulder. "You're done now, brother," he said gently. "You're going to the Sanctuary. She needs you."

   It took everything in Talia not to gasp at Rick's words. The realization that he truly cared for Negan almost knocked her off her feet as the two men stared at each other, and she saw Negan's eyes glisten over.

   With his good arm, he grabbed Rick by the neck, tilting his head forward so that their foreheads were touching. 

   "Make her pay," he told him. "For Michonne."

   The moment was over as quickly as it began, and they separated. Negan shuffled towards the red truck, getting in the back seat through the door that Dwight held open for him. They reversed course, chugging towards the gate as Talia watched in silence. 

   Blinking herself back to attention, she waited until Rick started to move, helping him get Cleo's dead weight over his shoulder. Trailing behind him, she picked up the black bag, and they made their way back to the white building. 

   The sun was hovering on the horizon, so they would be spending the night here, no matter what Rick decided to do with Cleo.

   Talia hustled in front of him to open the door, holding it all the way so he could pass by. She hadn't gone into this building, and it appeared to be just a bunch of offices. At the end of the hall, there was a door that was already open, so the two walked that way, passing by a pool of blood. 

   The office was large, and Rick went immediately to the couch that sat along the wall, dumping Cleo onto it like a sack of potatoes. While he kept an eye on her, Talia searched the room, switching on a few lanterns that had been placed around the area. 

   "Can you bring that chair over?" Rick asked, his back turned towards her as he stood over Cleo's body. She ducked around the large desk, pulling the wooden chair behind her and parking it next to Cleo's legs. Together, the two of them hauled her up, setting her on the seat, and Talia held her by the shoulders as Rick rummaged around the bag, extracting the two sets of handcuffs. 

   With a quick snap, he locked them around her wrists first and the arms of the chair next. Cleo's head was dipping forward, resting on her chest, and as soon as Rick gave her a nod, Talia dug her finger into the hole in her shoulder. 

   The woman moaned, struggling as she came to. Her head popped up, and she opened her eyes, looking around in confusion until her gaze landed on Talia, who released her hold. 

   "Gina didn't tell me she had a sister," Cleo rasped, trying to free her arms. While all of this was happening, Rick was digging through the bag again, pulling out all of the knives that had been stowed inside, setting them on the cushion of the couch, catching Cleo's eye.

   "There's a lot she didn't tell you."

   "Apparently. Like the fact that your group is filled with really good looking guys. Is he yours?"

   "No."

   Rick sat down on the couch across from Cleo, picking up one of the knives, and without a word, he stabbed her in the crook of her elbow, the blade going in with a squelching sound. She let out a small shriek, her eyes slamming shut. 

   "My name is Rick Grimes," he said, retracting the blade. "I was the leader of Alexandria."

   Cleo hissed through her teeth before opening her eyes and with some effort, she was able to paste a smile on her face. Talia bent down and grabbed one of the guns from the bag just in case she tried to kick at Rick or attempt to get herself free. 

   "You snuck into my community in the middle of the night and massacred my people. Innocent people."

   He struck out again, stabbing her in the same spot on the other side, but this time, she didn't react. 

   "I like to think of myself as a somewhat rational man," he continued in an emotionless voice, "and God knows I've done some bad things. I've killed a lot of people, and not always mercifully. In fact, I once ripped out a guy's throat with my teeth. But as a general rule, I don't torture people."

   Cleo rolled her eyes, but he shrugged his shoulders. "Of course, that rule doesn't apply to you."

   "Oh, spare me the lecture, Rick," she said, her lip curling. "Just get on with it."

   "I'm not done. There are a few things you need to know about me," he told her, and Talia started to get a flutter in her stomach. As long as she'd known Rick, she'd never seen him this cold before. Daryl had told her about their past experiences, and everything they'd been through. She was well aware of the times that Rick had lost control, and had spiraled down a dark path. But it was different when you were witnessing it in person, and she felt a chill in her bones.

   "How many communities have you attacked unprovoked?" he asked her, the knife poised in his grip.

   "At least ten," she replied, giving him a cocky grin. "Ten fewer groups of men to prey upon the rest of us."

   "You didn't kill rapists and abusers," he told her, stabbing her in the thigh. "You killed friends, and fathers, mothers and innocents."

   "Rick," Talia said, but one look from him made her shut her mouth and she backed up so that she was behind Cleo's head. This was his show. 

   "Nobody in my group hurt anyone. Neither did the people at the Hilltop, or the Kingdom, or probably any of the other places that you destroyed. But you did. You murdered for fun, and you raped my friends."

   "You're really going to let him do this?" Cleo asked, tilting her head back so that she could make eye contact with Talia, but she turned away. 

   "He has a right, given what you've done to him."

   Rick stuck the knife in her other thigh, and she whimpered lightly.

   "Did you know that Negan and I were enemies at one time?" he said suddenly, his blue eyes narrowing as he watched the stream of blood that bubbled up through the gash, trailing down the side of her leg and onto the floor. "He and I were on a collision course, and one of us was going to die. He also killed people that I loved, and it culminated in a war that nearly destroyed my family. But I spared his life, and he spent a year in a cell. I could've killed him. Easily. But I knew that it wouldn't change what we lost. Showing him the mercy that he never gave us was the way."

   "Again, that rule doesn't apply to you," he told her, jamming the knife into her uninjured shoulder. "And to think, he and I are close now. Like brothers. It's amazing what the human mind and heart are capable of, but the one thing he had going for him is that he never laid a hand on Michonne."

   "Who?" Cleo breathed, her face going pale as she glanced down at her newest injury.

   "Michonne. The woman I loved," Rick said in a steady voice. "The woman that meant everything to me. You shot her in the chest, and she died in my arms. She was my life, and you took her away from me. From my son and my daughter."

   "And would Michonne approve of your current actions?"

   "No," he said coldly. "If the situation was reversed, she would've just chopped your head off with her sword. But again, you took that option away when you killed her. Now, we do it my way."

   Reaching out, he slit her sleeves all the way up to her shoulders, brushing them to the side, exposing her arms. Blood was streaked across the skin, and she let out a sarcastic chuckle. "I take it I'm getting the 'Gina special'? I did put her out of her misery when you arrived, you know. Hurt me to do it."

   Talia snorted, and the both of them turned to look at her. "She's still alive, you cunt."

   The smile faded from her face as she worked to determine if Talia was lying. Something dulled in her eyes right then, and Talia sensed that it was defeat. Failure. Something that Cleo probably wasn't accustomed to. 

   Rick let the knife hover over her arm, and he slowly brought it to her skin, slicing a long cut down to her wrist. "Sasha." Another. "Rosita." 

   It continued on, name after name and cut after cut as he listed off all of their friends. Blood was going to be paid for blood until there were only two people left to name. 

   "Gina," he muttered as he sliced her neck from ear to ear, ignoring her guttural moans. Talia's stomach turned as the blood poured out, spilling down her neck like sticky red wine. 

   With a choked growl, Rick got to his feet, taking her spot as he produced another knife. Poising them on either side of her head, he plunged them into her temples at the same time. "Michonne." 

   Cleo spasmed for a moment, the blood flow increasing from her neck as she twisted in the chair, finally becoming still. 

   The knives dropped to the floor, and Talia scuttled back to the door, staring at her now dead body in morbid fascination. It was brutal, one of the worst things she'd ever seen, yet she didn't feel as bad as she should've. If anyone deserved a torturous death, it was Cleo. She'd taken away their security, their safety, and their family. 

   Rick was still standing behind her remains, his face a conflict of emotions, and she slumped to the floor, feeling tired all of a sudden. 

   "We need to find somewhere to rest," she finally said, breaking him out of the trance that he was in. He took a few steps back, breathing heavily as he nodded, giving Cleo one last look before gathering up the lanterns and turning off all but one. He stuffed them into the bag along with the gun and the knife that was remaining. 

   Hefting it over his shoulder, he helped her back to her feet, and she opened the door. Once he was out in the hall, she shut it, effectively ending their time with Cleo permanently. It would be a lot easier for her to move past what happened. For Rick, it more than likely wasn't the therapeutic release he thought it would be. Revenge never usually was.

   "Let's just go," he muttered, striding towards the exit as she tried to keep pace with him. 

   "It's almost dark," Talia argued, not wanting to wander around a neighborhood that they hadn't checked out beforehand.

   "I want to get some distance from this place," he said, heading right for the truck. "We can sleep in here if we have to."

   "All right," she agreed meekly. In truth, she was worried about Rick's state of mind, and the further they got from here, it was probably for the better. 

   Once they got inside, he heaved the bag into the back seat, taking one last look around before peeling out, leaving Talia hanging on for dear life. 

   The sky was a pale purple when they pulled off onto a side road, just over the bridge that they'd crossed earlier in the day. Talia tried to shake off the silence that seemed to be closing in around them, pushing them away from each other as Rick cut the engine. Neither one had spoken since they got on the road, and she opened her mouth to say, what, she didn't know, but it didn't matter because the words dissolved on her tongue as soon as he turned to face her. 

   At this moment, he was a shell of himself, as devastated as the night he fled to Reedville, and he'd just lost Michonne all over again.

   His head dropped to his hands, and his shoulders began to shake, bent towards the floor as the weight of the world dropped back onto them. 

   Talia scooted forward, embracing him as he broke, moaning Michonne's name over and over again. 

   "I'm sorry," he said once he'd gotten control of his emotions, lifting the bottom of his shirt to wipe his face.

   "You don't have anything to be sorry for," Talia told him as she leaned over the seat, rummaging around in the bag in the dark for the food and water. 

   "What I did, I shouldn't have done it in front of you. I should've sent you out of the room."

   "I'm fine, Rick," she said, reaching back to hand him a bottle of water. He took it and she slid back, flopping onto her ass with her own water and a jar of olives. "I'm not going to look at you any differently."

   After struggling to open the top, she handed it over with a sigh, and he grunted lowly before it popped, and he twisted it off, tipping it towards her. 

   Using her thumb and finger, she scooped out a few, tossing them into her mouth, happy that they still seemed to be okay. 

   "You had every right to do what you did."

   "I shouldn't have," he said, reaching for a couple, chewing them as he avoided her gaze. "It certainly didn't make me feel any better."

   "Would visiting Alexandria help?" she asked tentatively, waiting for him to snap at her. 

   But he didn't, he just jerked back a little, seeming thrown off by the idea. 

   "Just...think about it," she said, turning to lay the seat back. She could barely make out his form in the night, and she settled on her side, her eyes closing until she heard him put the cap back on the olives. 

   It took him a few seconds to get the seat to move, and dropped all the way down suddenly, sending him sprawling as she fought the urge to laugh. 

   He rolled over to face her, and she didn't find it funny anymore. Rick was still too raw, too affected by the day's events, and she impulsively reached out, clasping his hand, hopeful that he knew that he wasn't alone. 

   Tomorrow he could begin to heal. Tomorrow could be his turning point. Maybe all of theirs.


	110. Chapter 110

  
**Gina**

 

   As soon as Talia jumped off of the truck, Gina began to cry harder. Black hair flew in an arc as she hit the ground, but Gina couldn't turn to see if she was safe. Her neck felt like it was dangerously close to ripping completely open, but it was nothing compared to the pain in her heart. The two adults that meant everything to her were behind her, in danger, and there was nothing that she could physically do about it.

   "Hush," Carol told her, holding her tighter. "Your sister is going to get him free. They're going to be safe soon."

   Gina couldn't respond if her life depended on it, too lost in her own fear. Rick drove the truck down the street, and as soon as they were out of sight, he came to a stop, jumping out and running towards Dwight's vehicle.

   No more than five minutes later, he jogged back to the window, sticking his head in.

   "Ezekiel is going to drive you back. He'll follow the others, and I'm going to wait for the signal. Your sister is gonna radio me when it's okay to come in."

   "Rick, please," she whispered, and he reached out, taking her hand, even though it was shaking.

   "We've got this," he told her, smiling.

   With a nod to Carol, he made his way back to Dwight, and Ezekiel got behind the wheel, waiting until the other trucks began to move before swinging around to follow them.

  All she could do now was pray. Pray to a God that she only talked to when she needed something. She hoped He'd forgive her once again for being the worst sort of human. One who only cared about the divine when it affected her personally.

   The gentle swaying of the truck and the warmth of Carol's arms enveloping her allowed her to drift off, her broken body rebelling against the abject fear that was coursing through her body. She was so exhausted and weary that she slept through Talia's call to Rick to return, and no one woke her to tell her.

   It wasn't until the truck jerked to a stop that she opened her eyes, looking around in confusion to see the lights of the Sanctuary shining through the dirty glass.

   "We're here?" she croaked, swallowing with some effort as she straightening up to find Carol smiling.

   "Talia radioed while you were asleep. Negan's on his way about a half an hour behind us."

   She gasped in surprise, her mouth opening and closing several times before she could speak.

   "You're sure?"

   "We're positive, Gina," Ezekiel confirmed before climbing out and coming around to assist her. Before she could get out, he put his arms around her shoulder to help her, and she stepped out, her legs feeling like jelly, both from physical trauma and the emotional wallop she'd just taken.

   She pitched forward before she took her first step, and Ezekiel caught her with a grunt, holding her near the ground until a few other men rushed over to help.

   "Where is your infirmary?" he asked, taking a few steps forward as Carol joined him.

   "Is she all right?"

   Gina recognized the voice. It was Daniel, and he was holding her the exact same way as he had the time she wiped out on a run. But this time, her injuries were much worse, and she looked at him blankly, her arms folded against her chest.

   "She needs medical attention right away," Ezekiel stressed, waving towards the doors, and Daniel got the hint, hauling ass into the building.

   He set her down on one of the beds, calling for the doctor. It took her a minute to realize that it was her doctor. She'd forgotten that Dr. Thomas had been sent with the residents of Reedville, and when he saw her, he sucked in a lungful of air before composing himself.

   Carol perched next to her head, grasping her hand gently. "She's been cut all over, but the worst is on her neck."

   Dr. Thomas stood next to her, palming a pair of surgical scissors in his hand as he reached to cut off the cloth that was still wrapped around her neck. She lifted her hand to stop him, to warn him that her head would fall off, but he pushed her hand away carefully.

   "I'm not going to hurt you," he explained. "I need to see the damage, Gina."

   Her eyes went to Carol, who gave her an encouraging look, and she closed her eyes as she heard the snip of the scissors and felt the cool of the metal as it just grazed her skin. He went to pull it away, but the material was sticking to her skin, pulling it, and she let out a cry. Dr. Thomas ceased immediately, his hand pressing down on her forehead.

   "I'm going to sedate you," he told her before retreating, and Gina heard the medicine door open, the clink of a glass vial echoing in her ears.

   When she opened her eyes, she saw that Dr. Thomas was studying her left arm, trying to determine if he could find a vein that wasn't wrecked by Cleo's punishment. He swabbed the crook of her elbow, producing only a slight stinging sensation, which was nothing compared to what was throbbing on the rest of her body, and a sharp pinprick later, he inserted an iv.

   "You're going to feel much better in a few minutes," he said, injecting the port with a clear liquid. She didn't see how that was possible, but damn, he was right.

   It started with a ticklish, tingling sensation in her fingers and toes, and soon she was overwhelmed with joy, a happiness surging through her body as she smiled, the urge to laugh overtaking her.

   "Oh, you were right," she breathed, her vision starting to unfocus. This was the greatest feeling she'd ever experienced, and she drifted on a cloud of elation, falling into a weird, bright world.

_She was standing at the foot of a sloping hill, and it reached straight up into the sky. Gina was warm all over, the sun soaking into her skin as she tried to decide where to lay down. The hill was covered in blankets. Large, colorful blankets and it was nearly impossible to choose which one. The glowing blue one? No, the red and white patterned one right in the middle._

_Floating with dancing steps, she lowered herself down on the silky checked squares, smiling as she lay back, closing her eyes as the breeze coated her body while she waited._

_His lips tickled her neck out of nowhere and she laughed_ , _a throaty, sated sound. Blindly, she reached out, curling her fingers around his warm hair._

_"You're late," she sighed, enjoying the little nips he gave her neck, just under her chin, his body resting gently on hers._

_"Sorry," he murmured into her neck, slowly advancing upwards to her lips, parting them with his, letting his tongue dance with hers as she moaned, the fire in her limbs making her pull him closer, wanting him to be inside her._

_When she opened her eyes, Rick was staring down at her, licking his lips as she grinned at him. He bent down, tickling her with his stubble, and she wrapped her legs around his waist, feeling his hardness against her pelvis._

_"It's been too long," she pouted, even as his eyes crinkled around the edges, watching her with unexpected tenderness. Her fingers slipped from his head to his shirt, unbuttoning it as he slid hers up, dropping down to kiss her stomach, his fingers running lightly along her arms._

_He was just hiking her shorts down when a shadow crossed over them, and she shielded her eyes as she looked skyward._

_"You're not supposed to be here," Gina complained, getting to a sitting position as Rick sat back on his haunches. "This is our spot."_

_"We have nowhere else to go," Negan said, holding Cleo's hand tighter as she sneered down at them. "We belong here, too."_

_"No you don't," she said angrily, getting to her feet. Rick was holding her arm securely, but she took a step forward, irritated as they began to kiss, making loud, smacking sounds. Their heads were moving in sync, their mouths working together as he ran his hands up and down her body, ruining her spot. "Go on the other side of the hill."_

_"Shh," Rick whispered into her ear. "They don't matter anymore. They're the bad ones, remember?"_

_Gina smiled as she turned away from Negan and Cleo, forgetting their intrusion as Rick pulled her into his arms, attaching himself to her neck again. "We're the good ones," he reminded her, laying her back down. She laughed as he brought his hand to her head, sweeping her forehead gently before using his thumb to open her eye._

_"The sun's too bright," she mumbled, reaching for his hand, but he didn't let go._

   Her other eye popped open, and she saw that it wasn't Rick, but Negan hovering above her, sending her into a fit of laughter.

   "You and Cleo have to leave, it's our place," she giggled, before lifting her arms to see that they were wrapped in gauze. "Look, I'm a mummy."

   He didn't find it as funny as she did, and his eyes left hers to look questioningly at someone else.

   "She's on morphine," another voice said, and Gina tried to turn her head, but her neck was stuck in the same spot, making her grumble.

   "I'm a mummy," she reminded him, and his head lowered so that he was just above her.

   "Gina, baby, it's okay," Negan soothed her, and she grinned at him, happy in her cocooned body. She was warm and tingly, and she wanted to lay on the hill again.

   "I'm going back to the blanket," she told him in a sleepy voice. "Don't block the sun again. Kiss Cleo somewhere else."

 

 

   The next time she woke up, the joy was gone, replaced by an aching head and a nauseous feeling in her stomach. She still couldn't turn her neck, and when she raised her arms, the sight of her arms completely covered left her feeling claustrophobic.

   "Hello?" she croaked, calling out to the empty room.

   The sound of a door opening prompted her to turn her eyes left, and she saw Dr. Thomas making his way over to her.

   "How are you feeling?" he asked politely as he reached behind her, raising the head of the bed. Her brain wooshed forward, smacking against the front of her skull, and she gagged for a minute until the sickening sensation passed.

   "Like I was tortured," she told him, feeling bad when his face froze. "Sorry."

   "You've been out for several hours," he informed her. "I was able to clean and stitch your wounds for you, but I used skin glue for your neck. We don't normally do that, but given its location and the fact that it was a pretty even, clean cut, I thought it would be best. It's going to stay covered, and due to the skin being stuck together, you're going to have limited movement in your neck, so I don't want you to panic. As it begins to heal, it will be easier to move."

   She watched him with wary eyes, the urge to turn her neck fighting with the ability to not do so.

   "Has Negan come back yet?"

   "He's asleep on the bed next to you," he reminded her, helping her turn to the side so that she could see him.

   He was deeply asleep, his own arm wrapped tight and folded against his body. As quietly as he could, he pushed her bed to his so that they were touching.

   "What happened to him?" she asked in a quiet voice, not wanting to wake him.

   "He was shot twice, almost in the same area."

   "Oh God," she breathed, anxious to reach out to him. "Were you able to fix the damage?"

   Dr. Thomas moved behind Negan's bed so that she could see his face. "He's going to have pretty severe scarring, but I don't think he'll lose the use of his arm. He's very lucky, and so are you."

   She began to cry, and she wasn't sure why. Was it because she'd led him into danger again? Would he blame her for his new injuries?

   "You don't seem as happy anymore," came his mumbled voice as he lifted his tired eyes towards hers.

   "Negan," she whispered, reaching her sore arm out to him. They were only six inches from each other, but it felt like six feet.

   With a painful wince, he scooted himself closer to her, just able to reach her fingers with his good arm, and Gina let a huff of relief at feeling his touch. He was here and he was alive. They both were.

   "I'm so sorry that she hurt you," Gina said in a shaky voice.

   "I couldn't give a fuck less about me. She told me you were dead, that she slit your throat."

   "She failed at the death part, at least," she told him with a watery smile.

   "I'm tired," he mumbled. She held his hand until his eyes closed, and she watched him until her own eyelids began to close on their own.

   The lights were turned off, and the two lay facing each other, each sleeping soundly. But neither was having happy dreams this time.


	111. Chapter 111

  
   The next morning, Gina felt physically worse than the entire day before. It was as if there was a delayed reaction in her body to the trauma she experienced, and as soon as she opened her eyes, she was plunged into a fiery hot burning flame from the waist up. Forgetting that her neck was glued shut, she tried to lift her head, bringing about a shocking sensation, a feeling that was hard to describe. The only way she could relate it to was the Tin Man, when he was rusted solid and unable to move his joints, stuck in the same painful position.

   "Fuck," she swore, feeling her neck with stiff fingers. Her arms were still wrapped, though there were random spots of blood dotting the gauze that circled them. How was she not dead?

   Her eyes trailed around the room as she remembered that Negan was in the bed next to her, and with a grunt, she turned to her side only to find that he wasn't there.

   "Negan?"

   No answer.

   Resorting to her pregnancy moves, Gina swung her legs off of the side of the bed, using her arm to get herself upright. Her vision swam as she steadied herself, breathing through her nose, and a few seconds later, she felt a little more centered.

   Once she got to her feet, she shuffled towards the doctor's office, but it was unoccupied. Bare-legged, she reached back to make sure her ass was covered, since someone put her in a hospital gown, and she was relieved to feel cloth covering her. The last thing she needed was to flash a bunch of strangers.

   The hallway was deserted, and she started to feel a trickle of fear. Where were her people? Where was Negan?

   Gina edged her way towards the cafeteria, poking her head out with some effort, feeling self-conscious.

   Sitting at a nearby table was Jesus, Ezekiel, and Aaron, who was the first to notice her. He stood up abruptly, rushing towards her with a shocked expression.

   "What are you doing up?" he asked, attempting to guide her back to the infirmary.

   "I couldn't find anyone. Where's Negan?"

   "He went up to check on your kids," Aaron explained, placing his hand on her back to herd her away from several pairs of prying eyes. Jesus and Ezekiel joined them in the hallway, and the four of them retreated back.

   "You need to lay down," Jesus ordered her, minus his usual smile. "Your body needs rest."

   She rolled her eyes, but sat back down on the thin mattress, grumbling when he lifted her legs, but it kept her from straining her neck, which was starting to throb again.

   "Where's everyone else?"

   "My darling Carol is with Judith and Carl," Ezekiel smiled, "and the rest of our group is beginning to gather up their belongings so that we may return home. However, Talia and Rick are still gone. She radioed to inform us that she and Rick were going to Alexandria so that Rick may pay his respects to Michonne."

   "Is...can one of you send Carol down so that I can talk to her?" she asked, covering her legs up with the sheet.

   "Sure," Aaron replied, backing towards the door. Her head was starting to clear up, but she needed to know everything that happened while she was held by Cleo.

   Jesus and Ezekiel offered to stay with her, but she waved them off, not wanting them to have to babysit her. They took their leave, and she looked around as best she could while she waited, some memories that were long forgotten resurfacing in her mind.

   Saviors that had been injured. Her own fall when Daniel carried her in to get help and fighting with Negan when he accused her of cheating on him in front of the entire community. A sarcastic huff erupted from her, but she quickly squashed it back down. It wasn't the time to go down that road again, not when she'd worked so hard to get past the affairs and mistakes of the past.

   Dr. Thomas reappeared while she was waiting, and he seemed pleasantly surprised that she was awake and alert. With expert hands, he checked her reflexes and her dressings, assuring her that some bleeding was normal.

   "Once we're back home, we'll get you on a regular dressing change," he said, putting his stethoscope in his ears and listening to her heart.

   "We're leaving soon, I heard," she mentioned, staring at the ceiling as he felt around her neck.

   "Yes," he said, and she could hear the relief in his voice. "I'm thankful to Dwight and his people for taking us in, but I'll be glad to get home."

   "Me, too."

   Once Dr. Thomas had gone back to the office, packing up his things, the door opened and Carol appeared in her limited line of sight.

   "Hey," she said carefully, approaching her with some reserve.

   "How's Daryl?"

   Carol took the chair next to her, waiting until Gina rolled to her side. "His arm is stitched up, and he's got a concussion. It hasn't helped his disposition any," she smirked. "But he'll be fine. He's anxious for Talia to get back."

   "Have you heard from them lately?" she wondered.

   "They should be back this evening. She wanted Rick to have the time he needed with Michonne."

   They were both lost in thought for a moment until Gina cleared her throat.

   "One of us needs to go back to the prison," she said, opening and closing her fist at a regular interval.

   "Why?"

   "Well, when you were there, did you check around to make sure all of Cleo's people were dead? Are you absolutely positive that no one survived?"

   Carol's eyes narrowed, her mouth becoming as tight as a coiled spring.

   "Everyone's dead, Gina."

   "Did you see Maria? Nora's body? Ivy's? Did you see them all?" she asked, searching her face. "They weren't stupid. Any one of them could've gotten away. Were they willing to make a definitive, final stand for her? You know they could've cut and run."

   Something shifted in Carol's eyes. An acknowledgment that she was right, or at least deserved the benefit of the doubt. They weren't fools, and Cleo's group wasn't stupid, either. Just because they'd taken off the dragon's head didn't mean it couldn't sprout another.

   "Ezekiel and I will go," she said as she rose, and Gina reached for her hand, squeezing it.

   "Thank you."

   Before she could react, Carol kissed her softly on the forehead.

   "You need a shower," she said over her shoulder, striding out of the small room, missing Gina's raised finger and her smile.

   She needed something else, she knew. Gina needed to be with her babies, and her first impulse was to just go and see them, but it was the thought of her injuries and how they'd react that made her change course.

   "Dr. Thomas," she called, waiting for him to emerge. When he did, she let him help her to a sitting position, and she convinced him pretty easily to let her go and get cleaned up.

   He helped her into a robe, but she refused to let him take her up. It was a trip she'd made many times before, and though it took her a while, she climbed the steps one at a time, feeling much less ambivalent than the last time she was here.

   The door to the top floor swung open, and she nearly collided with Sherry, who let out a gasp.

   "Oh, thank God you're awake," she sighed, reaching to hug her before stopping abruptly. Gina noticed the hesitation, and she raised her arms, happy when Sherry embraced her gently.

   "She's dead, Sher," Gina murmured, ignoring the pain in her neck as Sherry hugged her. "She's finally dead."

   "I know."

   The two took a step back from each other, locking eyes. Sherry looked more at peace, like she was beginning to come back to herself. The ghost of Cleo no longer appeared to be hanging over her shoulder, and it made Gina happy.

   "I'm not sure where you were headed to, but I was wondering if I could ask you for a favor?"

   "Anything," Sherry replied, backing up to let her into the hallway.

   "Could you help me get cleaned up?"

   "Of course."

   "I just want to look my best before I see my kids," she explained, following her friend as she led her to an empty bedroom. "If you have a long sleeved shirt, I'd be grateful. I don't want to upset them."

   "They're wonderful, you know," Sherry said softly, and Gina thought she heard a twinge of longing in her voice.

   "Thank you," she said, watching as her shoulders slumped slightly. "They're the lights of my life."

   Sherry opened the bedroom door, and Gina stepped through, heading for the bathroom. Once the shower got going, Sherry slipped out to get her some clothes and supplies and she undid her robe, letting it drop to the floor.

   When Sherry reappeared, they engaged in a brief debate on how to proceed so that her dressings didn't get wet, and they decided on washing her body first. Friendship, true friendship was standing naked in front of your comrade, her washing you from head to toe with nothing more than a smile and a joke, and Gina found herself laughing until her throat spasmed in pain.

   Once she was clean, she felt like a new woman, or at least a better version of her current self. Her hair was its own challenge, and though it wasn't pleasant, she got down on her knees to hang her head over the edge.

   Sherry worked quickly to shampoo and condition it, helping her back to her feet after she wrapped her head in a towel. A blue cotton long-sleeved shirt was sitting on the bed along with underwear and a pair of flannel pants. She dressed while Sherry went to fetch the kids. tossing the towel onto the bathroom sink, brushing her hair with shaky hands.

   The exertion wore on her strength, but she got onto the bed, propping up the pillows so that she could lean against the headboard.

   Casey's chirping voice reached her before her actual body did, and Gina's heart lept in happiness until the door opened and Casey's eyes widened in fear.

   "Hi, baby," she said, smiling to show her that she was okay.

   Her little girl took a wary step back, looking to Sherry for assurance. Michael, on the other hand, was watching her with dancing eyes, reaching for her.

   "Mama," he squeaked, his chubby fingers flexing as Gina's eyes pricked with tears.

   "My boy," she whispered, her physical pain forgotten as Sherry carried him over, putting him carefully in her arms. He could pour acid on her arms right now and she wouldn't care, and even though it stung, she bent her neck as far as she could to kiss his head, breathing in his clean scent.

   "I've missed you so much," she murmured. The urge to try to console Casey bubbled up, but she knew her little girl, and she needed time. So Gina didn't rush her. She just crossed her legs, setting Michael between them as she drank him in. His eyes were almost completely brown now. His wispy hair was curling over the back of his neck. Dimples that puckered his cheeks when he smiled his drooling smile. It was a balm to her soul.

   "Momma?"

   Gina's eyes sought out Casey's and she gave her a gentle smile.

   "Are you okay?"

   "Look at me, baby. Don't look at my neck, look at my eyes," she told her, waiting for those green eyes to find her. "I'm fine," she promised, swallowing hard as Casey edged her way forward.

   She finally crept up onto the bed, curling against Gina's side as she wrapped her arm around her shoulders, smooching her hair.

   "Thank you," she whispered to Sherry, who nodded once before shutting the door.

   The next few minutes were pure heaven for her as Casey began to babble, telling her about their time at the Sanctuary. She felt like she missed a lifetime with them, and she listened attentively, asking questions and exclaiming in pride when Casey told her about how she and Sherry taught Michael to say mama.

   He, in turn, was fascinated with her bandages, pulling at them as she tried to keep him occupied. It wasn't until he let out a yawn that she knew he was ready for his nap.

   "Where's daddy?" she finally asked, running her hands through Casey's hair.

   "He went to get a shower. He said he'd come get us when he was done."

   They didn't have to wait long, as the door opened a few seconds later, and Negan came walking through. His arm was in a sling, laying across his waist, and his face was clean shaven, but tired. He didn't seem surprised to see her, so she figured that someone must've given him a heads up that she'd taken it upon herself to leave the infirmary.

   "Hey, dad," Casey called, scrambling off of the bed, shooting towards him as she hugged his good side.

   "Little darlin'," he said, giving Gina a weird look. She gave him one back, confused as to why he was doing so, but he didn't say anything.

   Sherry came strolling back into the room with a bottle, taking Michael expertly and tucking him into her arms, shrugging off Gina's protests.

   "You two need to get some rest. Let me do this," she insisted, smiling. It seemed bittersweet. "I want to spend some time with this little angel before you head home."

   Casey skipped back to give her a kiss before following Sherry out the door, leaving her and Negan alone together for the first time since the whole Cleo nightmare began the day before. _Jesus, was it really only one day?_

   He shut the door securely, coming to sit on the bed with a groan after pulling a bottle of pills out of his pocket.

   "You scared the shit outta me," he grumbled, keeping his back to her. "I had no idea where you were. Dr. fucking Thomas wasn't there either and I nearly had a heart attack."

   "Sorry," she murmured, twisting herself to the side with some effort. "It didn't exactly please me to wake up and find you gone, either."

   With minor discomfort, she brought her hand to the back of his neck, surprised when he stiffened at first, and the feeling came rushing back that he was mad at her for what happened. After a second, though, he relaxed into her touch.

   "So," he said after a minute, "why was I kissing Cleo?"

   "Huh?" she sputtered, completely thrown off.

   "You told me last night that I had to go kiss Cleo somewhere else."

   He made it sound conversationally casual, but there was a streak of morbid curiosity underneath his words, and it all came rushing back to her, making her hand drop to the bed.

   "I don't know what you're talking about," she stammered, her face flushing as he turned around to face her.

   "Bullshit. I know when you're lying."

   After glaring at her for a beat, he started to chuckle, making her even more embarrassed.

   "And who were you kissing?" he needled her. "It sure as shit wasn't me. You told me to leave, and you said, 'it's our place,' meaning you and someone else."

   "I don't know," she said again, her eyes narrowing as his widened.

   "Gina, it was just a dream. I'm not going to get pissed, although I'm a little fucking put out that you'd pair me up with that red-haired devil bitch."

   "I didn't," she protested, feeling like her face was on fire. "I was under the influence for Christ's sake."

   She slid down on the bed, covering her head with the side of her pillow as she felt him settle down next to her.

   "It's not like I've never dreamed about anyone else," he said, obviously trying to make her feel better and failing mightily.

   "Who?" she asked, her voice muffled.

   Strong fingers pulled at the material, and she tilted her eyes towards his face to see that he was still grinning at her.

   "If I tell you, you have to tell me. Deal?"

   "Whatever," she muttered after a moment.

   He studied her face, drawing out the anticipation before giving her a sheepish look.

   "I had a sex dream about Carol."

   Okay, that shocked the hell out of her. Not because Carol wasn't attractive. She was a damned fine woman. But she just didn't seem like Negan's type. She was older and more grounded than what she would've expected him to say. She thought he'd tell her it was Tina, or even Bethany.

   "That's...surprising," she said lamely.

   "It surprised me, too," he admitted, wincing as he adjusted his injured arm.

   "Let me get you a pill," she told him, grabbing at the bottle, but he wrapped his fingers around her wrist to stop her.

   "Nope, not yet. It's your turn to fess up, woman."

   Gina bit at her lip, unsure if she should tell him the truth or not. She was feeling awkward as the images flashed through her mind. It was almost as if she could feel Rick's lips on her throat again, and she fidgeted on the bed. He was an attractive man, but it was like she'd never noticed before. He was always just Rick. Strong, solid Rick. Not a man. With lips and sexual parts.

   Gah, it made her shudder even thinking about it. It was like figuring out that your brother was having sex or something.

   "It was Rick," she squeaked, afraid to look in his eyes, expecting him to blow his stack.

   Instead, he let out a booming laugh, scaring her half to death.

   "It's not funny," she snapped, mortified beyond belief. "It's embarrassing."

   "I'm sorry," he apologized, even though his eyes were still sparkling. "Do I have anything to worry about?" he teased her, his eyes snaking to her hand, which balled into a fist.

   "Maybe you do."

   That wiped the smile off of his face, and she leaned forward, kissing him softly before he could make a smart-ass remark.

   "You're the man of my non-drug addled dreams," she reminded him, satisfied when he let out a sigh. "And if you ever tell him, I'll shoot you in your other arm."

   "Get us our pills, you nympho screwball," he grumbled, using his uninjured arm to push her to a sitting position. "We need to rest, and then we can get the fuck out of here tomorrow."

   She stumbled off the bed, ignoring his protests, grabbing the plastic cup that sat on the sink and filling it with water. Once she got the pills out, she handed him the cup, snorting when he spilled water on the bed as he drank.

   After taking her own, she got under the covers, tickling his legs with her toes.

   "What a pair we are," she murmured, looking at his swollen arm.

   "We're an alive pair with two kids that are safe, now."

   He kissed her nose before closing his eyes and she followed suit. Every moment that they spent asleep was another one closer to going home as a family.


	112. Chapter 112

   Michael was fussing in his seat, overly tired and sick of being in the truck. Gina rummaged around in his bag, plucking out a pacifier and sticking it in his waiting mouth. His whimpers ceased, and he sat back as she rubbed the top of his head.

   Negan shifted in the front seat, winking at her as she sat back, adjusting Casey's sleeping body so that her head was laying on her lap. 

   "We're almost there," he told her as she nodded. Her limbs were sore and her ass hurt from sitting in the same position for almost the entire trip home. She was so ready to be out of the truck and back in their house, and it felt like she'd been gone for weeks instead of only days. 

   The one dark spot was that Carol and Ezekiel hadn't returned, only radioing that they were headed back to Reedville. Shiva had been cooped up inside the house since they'd left, and the rest of the town was too afraid to check on her aside from throwing in some food through the door. Not that she blamed them. 

   Rick and Talia hadn't gone to the Sanctuary either, and it fell to Daryl to shepherd Evelyn, Judith, and Carl, who was anxious to get home and back out on the boats now that the danger had passed. 

   As for Gina, after she spent a few days with her kids, she wanted to get back to work. Before they left Dwight and Sherry, she and Negan had worked out a trade deal, effective immediately, and they needed to get their people back to work. They hadn't gone to Arcadia since she returned home from Cleo's and she needed to shore up her duties. 

   Leaning her head back with a wince, she tried to close her eyes and just be for a minute. Underneath her relief that the worst was over was an underlying worry. She couldn't quite put her finger on it, but she chalked it up to the world they lived in. They would never be completely safe, not when the dead still walked and unknown groups were out there. 

   One of the very good things to come out of the past few days was Negan telling her about Rick and his calling him his brother. It had touched her unexpectedly, and she'd teared up when he told her.

   "Why the fuck are you crying?" Negan had asked her, seeming unnerved by her reaction.

   "I don't know," she sniffled, her lip trembling. "That's just the sweetest thing I've ever heard."

   He looked at her like she was crazy, but she couldn't help it. Rick never said things he didn't mean, and the fact that he truly thought of Negan as family, as someone he cared about finally ended the horrible events of the past, at least in her opinion. One thing she knew about Rick was that he would do anything for the people he loved, and it really included Negan. 

   The truck slowed down abruptly, jolting her neck, and she opened her eyes to see a handful of walkers scattered across the highway. 

   Aaron did his best to maneuver around them, but he ended up winging one with the corner of the truck, and it made an awful thumping sound, causing Casey to stir. 

   "Shhh," Gina soothed her, keeping her head on her lap. "Go back to sleep. We'll be home before you know it."

   Casey looked up at her in confusion before turning to the side and burying her head in Gina's midsection. Her girl was getting braver with the shooting, but there was no way she'd be ready to see a gaggle of walkers. The word gaggle made her snort out loud, and Negan turned around her give her a narrowed gaze. 

   Gina shook her head slightly to indicate that she'd tell him later, and he slunk down in his seat, using his good arm to rub the tender spot where he was shot twice. 

   "You okay, honey?" she asked, unable to reach out to him. 

   "I'm fine," he sighed, still rubbing the skin. "I need my dressing changed as soon as we get back. It's too itchy."

   "Well, I feel ya there, lover," she teased, making his head turn to the side. "I'm still a mummy, you know."

   Aaron shook his head after making it through the walker parade, grumbling under his breath. "I hope Paul and I don't sound that disgusting."

   "I think we've earned the right to sound disgusting," Negan muttered, causing Aaron to shiver slightly. "Are you guys heading back to Arcadia?"

   Aaron shook his head, and he seemed almost morose. "I don't think so. We haven't really discussed it yet, but Paul seems happy in Reedville. He wants to talk to Ezekiel about what he plans to do. If he wants to rebuild, it's going to take a while."

   Gina chewed on the inside of her cheek, thinking. She knew that they probably wouldn't all stay together forever, even if she hoped that they would. But Ezekiel had the right to do what he wanted, and if it meant leaving reclaiming his community, she figured that Rick and Negan would help him out. 

   Michael's pacifier slipped out of his mouth as he drifted off, and Gina tucked it along his side, zoning out as they continued down the long road home. Her eyes must have closed somewhere along the way, because her head jerked up suddenly, and she winced, blinking as the gates came into view. 

   Casey was wide awake, her nose pressed into the window as the steel doors opened slowly, allowing their large caravan to proceed through. Negan directed Aaron to go down the street and park in front of their house, and he pulled up to the curb, cutting the engine. 

   With a wave, he set off to help the rest of the residents get unloaded, leaving her and Negan alone with the kids, two awkwardly injured adults. 

   Michael was still asleep, and she unbuckled his straps, laying him on her shoulder, his head bumping into her neck and she let out a strangled hiss that he slept through. Casey opened the door, hopping out as Gina slid along the seat, easing herself out as Negan did the same. The only thing she grabbed was his diaper bag, setting it on her other shoulder as they went into the house. She'd just come back out and grab the rest after they got the kids settled.

   "Hey," she called out to Negan as he opened the door, and he stopped to face her. "I saw Dr. Thomas roll past, why don't you go get fixed up first while I get Michael and Casey settled?"

   "Are you sure?"

   "Yep. He'll probably be done faster with you," she said, and his face fell slightly, his eyes darting to her neck. 

   "I'll be back." He kissed her forehead, walking back down the steps towards the pier. 

   Casey took off to her room, running up the steps as she carried Michael into the living room, laying him on the couch to get his diaper changed. He woke up in a foul mood, and she rushed to get him changed as he kicked and screamed, his face turning red. 

   "Okay, baby," she said, setting him on his feet. "I'll get you some food." 

   He was flailing around, and his hand collided with her neck, sending a sharp pain through her throat, and she nearly dropped him. 

   "Casey," she called out, her eyes watering as she clutched her hand to her neck. "Come down and watch your brother, please."

   She came stomping down the steps, two dolls in her hands as she flopped down on the couch. 

   "I wanna play in my room," she whined. "I just got home."

   "He hit my neck by accident," Gina snapped. "I have to check my cut."

   She didn't respond, and Gina set the baby on the rug, lurching to the bathroom. When she looked in the mirror, she swore under her breath. God, she looked hideous. 

   There was a black bruise near her lip from when Annabeth slapped her, large bags under her eyes, and a line of blood spreading under her neck bandage. Not to mention her straggly hair and the fact that her overall pallor resembled sour milk. 

   "Motherfucker," she grumbled to herself. It was time to take her own advice and get her shit together. With a sigh, she dabbed at the blood, some of it smearing on her finger, and she washed her hands before going back into the living room.

   "I'm sorry I bit your head off, bug," she said, rubbing her hand across Casey's head. "It just really hurt."

   "Are you going to be okay?"

   "I'll be fine," she assured the little girl. "I just need to get my bandages changed. Come on," she gestured, picking up Michael with some effort. "I'll get you guys something to eat."

   The three of them made their way into the kitchen, and she put together a quick dinner of spaghetti, her go-to when she didn't want to expend much effort. Michael zoomed around in his walker as she and Casey worked together, and Gina was starting to feel more at home every minute. These were the moments she missed, when they were all separated, and she and Negan were off here and there, fighting just to keep their home alive. 

   Gina was straining the pasta when the door opened and Negan came into the kitchen, smiling until he saw her neck.

   "What happened?"

   "Nothing," she assured him as he leaned down, running his fingers gently across her cheek. "We just had a little bump in the road, that's all. Let me get Michael fed and I'll run over and have Dr. Thomas check me out."

   One handed, Negan carried the pasta into the kitchen, trailed by Casey whose mouth didn't stop moving, telling him everything she wanted to do now that they were home. He gently reminded her that she was going back to school, but to placate her, he told her that they'd resume their shooting practice once his arm was better. 

   The two of them dug in as she fed Michael, spooning vegetables to him in between bites of soft pasta that she mashed up with her fork. His mood improved with every morsel of food, and by the time he was full, he was her sweet, happy boy again. 

   "Will you be okay with him?" she asked after settling him on his play mat, surrounded by toys.

   He raised an eyebrow, one corner of his mouth lifting. 

   "All right," she conceded with a wave, heading out the door and down the street. There were still several people milling around, and the general mood was almost giddy as they settled back into their houses and just enjoyed the sunset as it folded into the water. 

   Dr. Thomas was waiting for her when she knocked on his door. 

   "The baby smacked me in the neck," she told him before he could ask, and he ushered her into the exam room. Very carefully, he peeled off the bandage, checking her closure before cleaning the wound and adding some more of the liquid sealant which stung like a bitch. 

   "The good thing is I have some rather large waterproof bandages, and with a little work, you'll be able to shower," he said with a smile.

   "You just became my new favorite person," she laughed, laying back so that he could put her humpty dumpty neck and arms back together. Her arms weren't as bad as she feared, since, in her overactive imagination, she was walking around with Freddy Kreuger skin, but they were simple slices. They weren't attractive, but hopefully she wouldn't have ugly scars. 

   Once he was done, he sent her on her way, and she wandered out into the now dark road, taking her time as she took deep breaths, letting the salty air wash over her. A part of her wanted to go to see if Talia, Rick, Carol and Ezekiel were back, but she forced herself up the steps to her house after collecting the bags from the back of the truck. They would be there in the morning, and she wanted one night of peace, to not see the devastation on Rick's face. If it made her a horrible person, she had to live with that.

   The main floor was empty when she came in, only a few lights on, and after kicking off her shoes and dropping the bags, she went upstairs. Michael was already in his crib, babbling to himself as his little nightlight moved slowly around, a tinkling tune filling the air as little moons and stars danced across his ceiling. 

   Casey was in bed with Negan who was reading her a story, and when she popped in, they both gave her the same look, unnerving her. 

   "I'll be back, little darlin'," he told her, rolling off the bed with a grunt. 

   Gina gave her a kiss goodnight before following Negan to their room. She looked at him curiously as he disappeared into the bathroom, emerging after a minute and waving his arm ostentatiously towards the door. 

   When she peeked in, she saw that the tub was filled and little candles sat along the edge of the tub. Bubbles were piled high and the room smelled like fresh flowers. It may have been the nicest thing he'd ever done for her, and she shook her head in wonder.

   "Who are you, and what have you done with Negan?" she teased, kissing him on the cheek. 

   "Just go relax," he said gruffly, closing the door behind her. 

   When she sank down into the hot water, it was like descending into heaven. Her weary bones were screaming in relief as she laid her arms on the cool porcelain, tipping her head back as far as she could. She was so relaxed that she didn't hear him come in a few minutes later, jumping when his hand brushed her hip under the water.

   "I thought you could use a hand," he murmured, running his fingers along her leg. 

   "Well, since you only have one to use right now, it'll have to do," she grinned, her smile widening as he scowled at her. She sat up, blowing out the candles and setting them on the floor before getting to her feet, turning the water back on. 

   Very gently, she removed his sling before helping him out of his shirt and unbuttoning his pants. Negan shook himself out of them as she flipped the button, sending the shower down on her head, and he climbed in after her. 

   "You first," she said, letting him under the water and soaping up a washcloth. He held his arm out as she washed him from head to toe, surprised when he didn't become aroused. It was a first in all the time they'd showered together, but she tried not to read anything into it. They'd both just been through hell, so she told herself it was natural not to get turned on. But when they switched positions, even the sight of her running her hands all over her own form didn't get even the slightest reaction.

   A feeling of rejection washed over her as she turned off the water, and she faced away from him, handing him a towel before taking her own into the bedroom and dressing.

   "What's wrong?" he questioned, following her out.

   "Nothing. I'm just tired."

   "Gina, tell me."

   "Nothing," she insisted, getting her nightgown on before taking his towel and hanging it up. When she came back out, he stopped her in her tracks, grasping her chin softly. He didn't say anything, he just waited as she blew out a puff of air from her lips.

   "Are you not attracted to me right now?" she asked, watching his face carefully as his head rocked back slightly.

   "What?"

   Gina removed his fingers from her face, stepping around him to rummage around in his drawers for boxers and pajama pants, and she bent down to help him into them. 

   "I'm always attracted to you," he said, refusing to meet her eyes.

   "Yeah, well your dick says otherwise," she told him, crawling onto his side of the bed and facing the wall. "That's the first time we've showered together and you didn't have a reaction."

   She felt the bed dip as he got on her side, and she felt his hand brush her hair. Unable to turn around, she stared at the wall as he let out a deep breath.

   "All I can see right now is your neck and your arms, all fucking wrecked because I didn't get to you in time. I promised you that she'd never lay a finger on you, and I failed."

   Rolling to the side, she couldn't help the shock that registered on her face. 

   "Negan, you have to stop this," she whispered, grabbing his hand so tightly that he winced. "You saved me. You _all_ saved me. I'm here, and so are you." 

   Scooting herself closer to him, she kissed him for a long moment, just letting their lips melt together. 

   "It's still me. I know I look hideous, but it's still me."

   "Baby, it's not about your looks," he said, linking his fingers with hers. "You're always going to be gorgeous to me. Even when you're old," he said with a glimmer of a smile. "It just something I have to work through."

   "Do you promise?"

   Gina turned herself around, letting him wrap his arm around her waist as much as he could, and he nuzzled the back of her neck, helping her to relax slightly.

   "I promise I will be all up in that ass soon. I'm going to pester you for so much fucking that you're not going to be able to keep up."

   "Dream on, old man," she snickered, closing her eyes, not surprised when he pinched her waist. 

   They fell asleep in unison, their bodies touching for the remainder of the night, a soothing reminder to both of them that they were together.


	113. Chapter 113

 

   Gina was so engrossed in her ledgers that she didn't hear her office door open, the squeak of the hinges disappearing into the air as she went over her numbers.

   It wasn't until Rick cleared his throat, very loudly, that her head snapped up, her eyes unfocusing as she got her bearings.

   "Hey, friend, what's up?" she asked, pinching the bridge of her nose as he sat down heavily in the chair opposite her desk. 

   "I'm just checking in," he said in a bleak voice, focusing on the papers in front of her instead of her face. 

   They'd been home for well over a week, and Rick had yet to open up, even to Daryl. When he and Talia resurfaced from Alexandria, he'd sequestered himself with Carl and Judith, allowing the rest of his family to see him only briefly.

   Talia told them that he'd spent an entire day and night at Michonne's grave, talking to her and weeping, leaving Talia a nervous wreck, afraid that he'd gone over the edge. Even now, he was wearing a look of reserve, guarded and closed off.

   Tentatively, Gina reached out, taking him gently by the hand. She could feel his fingers stiffen up in hers, and she waited patiently until he looked her in the eyes.

   "You have to talk, Rick, if not to me, or Daryl or anyone else, then at least to Bethany."

   He narrowed his eyes, and she very nearly flinched back. Bethany had become their official/non-official therapist, and she'd been meeting with several members of their community as they grappled with the events that had occurred over the last several months. 

   "There's nothing to talk about," he said brusquely, trying to pull his hand away, but she kept a firm grip on him. 

   "That's not true. When I went through my ordeal with John, you told me I needed to process it, that I needed to take time. That same rule applies to you."

   "Well, we're not out of danger," he reminded her in a detached voice, his fingers slipping out of hers. 

   When Carol returned from checking the prison, she'd told Gina that the only body she couldn't find was Ivy's, and they'd gone to the council to inform them. Rick had wanted to go back with Daryl to try to track her, only to be shut down by the rest of them. 

   "She's not Cleo," Gina had told him, backed by Carol and Clinton, who insisted that they concentrate on what they knew and what they could see. 

   "If this woman is alive, she'd be a fool to try to come here and start something," Clinton said, looking to the others for affirmation. 

   "I don't think we should spend any more of our resources chasing someone who's probably injured and very likely alone," Devin agreed, glancing at Gina who was focused on Rick's simmering anger. 

   "It's a mistake," he spat before walking out of her office, slamming the door behind him.

   Now, he was sitting here hinting at the same thing, and she let out a deep breath. While it was true that Ivy being alive out there somewhere would always be a concern, she felt in her heart that they needed to move on. All of them.

   "Rick, no one knows better than me what those women did, and were capable of doing, so I understand the desire to make sure that they're all dead, but we can't just go on a hunt for a woman who could be anywhere at this point," she said, getting to her feet. "We're behind on runs, our ships are in need of updates and repairs, and spring is here, so we need to get our greenhouses tended to and start the open air plantings. Plus, with Ezekiel wanting to rebuild, it's falling on us to help him find supplies."

   But he wasn't convinced, leaning over the desk to make sure he had her attention. "Ezekiel is my friend, but we're not responsible for his rebuild."

   Gina's eyes widened as he continued. "This place is our priority, and so is its safety. I want to meet with the others to plead my case."

   "I..."

   Rick stared her down as her mouth opened and closed. "You can't mean that," she sputtered, completely thrown by his cold demeanor. 

   "I do. Let me know when you can arrange for everyone to get together."

   He turned and walked out, leaving her sitting there staring blankly for several moments. Rick was much worse than she thought, and someone needed to try to talk sense into him. 

   Too distracted to get back to work, she closed up her office, locking it before heading to Tina's to get the kids. Even though it was a beautiful day, they were all inside, and she knocked on the door, looking up into the sky while she waited. 

   When Tina finally opened the door, Gina gave her a smile but didn't get one in return, and her mouth quickly dropped. 

   "Hey, are you okay?" she asked as Tina stepped aside, letting Casey out of the house. 

   "I'm fine," she said shortly, handing Michael to her before letting the door drift closed. For the second time that day, she was left confused and uncertain. 

   Ever since she returned from Cleo's community, Tina had been different around her, not chatting with her or even talking to her beyond a few words, really. Gina had chalked it up to the situation at hand, and her fears, but now that the worst was over, she couldn't quite figure out what Tina's deal was and she ran the last several weeks through her brain, trying to remember if she said or did anything to offend the blonde. 

   Nothing came to mind, but that didn't mean that she didn't unknowingly piss her off, and she was half-tempted to turn around and just force Tina to tell her what she did wrong. 

   Casey tugged on her arm to get her attention, showing her the picture that she made, and Gina held it up out of Michael's reach to admire it. Her drawing skills were getting really good, and she'd created an idealized version of the Sanctuary, with Sherry and Dwight holding hands in front of it, surrounded by other people whose names were drawn in bubbles over their heads.

   "Can I send it to Sherry?" she asked, and Gina smiled down at her. 

   "I'm going to see her in a few days, bug, so I'll take it to her for you. She'll be so happy."

   That brought a grin to Casey's face and Gina shook her head. They'd apparently bonded more than Gina thought, and it made her heart spasm with pride and sorrow at the same time. Having Sherry back in her life was a blessing, but when they'd left the Sanctuary, she'd seemed so forlorn. She'd told Gina that being around her kids was a mixed blessing, giving her a bright spot in her life now that she was back with Dwight, but it also highlighted everything that she'd denied herself. Gina hoped that Sherry would take some time to decide what she wanted for her life, and hopefully, she would get it, whether it involved kids of her own or not.

   When they got home, she closed the door, unaware that Negan was already there, sleeping on the couch. Once she spied him, she shushed the kids and bent over the couch, kissing him on the forehead, but he didn't stir, so she herded the kids upstairs to let him rest. 

   He was working on his strength every day, and he no longer wore his sling. Dr. Thomas had him doing physical therapy so that he didn't lose any range of motion in his arm, and he came home most days in a lot of pain, taking medication so that he could rest in the evenings. 

   They still hadn't been intimate, despite his assurances that he was all right, and she didn't press him, choosing instead to let him move at his own pace. It was odd for her, given his normal sexual drive, but looking back on her own past, she acknowledged that when she was at her worst, he'd let her set the tone of their physical interactions. Now, she felt she owed him the same courtesy.

   Casey went into her room to play, so Gina took Michael into his, setting him on the floor and getting down with him, entertaining him with books and toys, letting him toddle around the room. He was dangerously close to taking his first steps, and it was only a matter of time before they were chasing after him. He was an energetic and curious baby, and she could only imagine how he'd be when he could get around on his own.

   "Mama," he screeched, flinging a toy at her, and she caught it as it bounced off the floor. 

   "What, Michael?" 

   "Mama, mama, mama," he called, laughing as he threw another toy. 

   She crawled over to him, laying him down as she blew raspberries on his tummy, sending him into a fit, and when she looked up, she saw that Negan was leaning against the door, watching her with a faraway look in his eye.

   "I'm sorry, did we wake you up?" she asked, sitting back on her butt as Michael crawled over to him, wanting to be held. 

   "Nah, I woke up on my own."

   Negan bent down, scooping the baby up with one hand carrying him into their bedroom as Gina followed behind him. He sat down on the bed as she stripped off her clothes, throwing on a t-shirt and a pair of shorts, and she caught him eyeballing her cuts, and only her cuts, before looking away quickly.

   Stifling the urge to sigh, she joined them on the bed, kissing him quickly on the lips instead of making a comment, and he handed her Michael before slipping into the bathroom to get showered. While Michael was distracted with her hair, she studied her arms, evaluating how she was healing. 

   The slices were still scabbed over, but the redness around them had receded, leaving a criss-cross pattern of marks across the skin, but it looked much better. Dr. Thomas had put her on antibiotics, and with the salve he gave her that she applied twice a day, they were well on their way to healing. 

   Her neck was still kind of gross, but she no longer had to wear the bandages to cover it. The line ran under her chin, and when she checked it in the mirror nightly she mused that if it finally faded away, she would just have another wrinkle on her neck. She'd made an offhand joke to Negan one night about it looking like a pack of hot dogs, but he didn't find it funny at all. Since then, she'd kept her mouth shut about it, not wanting him to focus on it.

   When he came out, he was already dressed, and she felt a wave of disappointment to not see him in a towel. It was one of her favorite sights, and she took a deep breath to get herself back on track. It felt like they'd switched libidos or something. 

   "Dinner's in the oven," he announced, taking the baby back and knocking on Casey's door. "Come on, little darlin'," he called out, whisking Michael down the stairs, leaving Gina sitting there, wondering if she'd wandered into the Twilight Zone. 

   Rick was acting odd, Negan was not himself, and Tina, well, she was just fucking cold. 

   Casey met her in the hall, and Gina took her face in her hands, bending down so that they were eye-to-eye. 

   "You're still Casey, right?" she asked, kissing her on the cheek.

   "Yes, mom," she said in a patronizing tone, rolling her eyes. 

   "Just checking."

   Hand in hand, they came downstairs to set the table as Negan fed the baby. He was just finishing up as Gina carried the dinner in, placing Michael on her lap, feeding him bits of food from her own plate and letting him take sloppy sips from her cup. 

   "Mom, can I spend the night with Rebecca tonight?" Casey asked, pushing the food around on her plate, missing Gina's face blanch.

   "I don't know, honey. You were there all day today."

   "Come on. Please?"

   Negan looked between them, saying nothing, leaving it to her to make the decision, and she shot him a look before agreeing. 

   "Eat all of your dinner, and you have to get your bath first."

   Casey shoveled the food into her mouth before sprinting up the stairs, leaving them with Michael.

   "Thanks for your input," she muttered as he stood up and walked into the kitchen, the sound of pots and pans banging around making Micheal twist his head back and forth. Irritated for some reason, she carried him into the living room to wait for Casey.

    _What the fuck?_

   Since when was Negan reticent to speak up or give an opinion?

   Gina had no clue what was going on in his mind, but when she got back, they were going to have to talk. 

   When Casey came back down, Gina pawed through her bag to see what she packed, sending her back up for her toothbrush and toothpaste. She came skipping back down, handing it over, and Gina set Michael on his play mat before walking to the door. 

   "I'll be right back," she called out, getting no reply. 

   The evening was hazy, a yellow hue washing over the town as they made their way to Tina's, and it made her think of rain. Big, stormy downpours from when she was a child and she would huddle in her bed, listening to the sounds of thunder and lightning. It was always a mixture of fear and awe when the sky would rumble and the house would shake with each crash of thunder, the underlying feeling that she was both safe and at the mercy of the elements. She couldn't brush off the feeling that a storm was brewing inside the community, and she hustled Casey along, wishing that the yellow air was just a coincidence.

   When they got to Tina's, Devin answered the door, allowing Casey to scoot through with barely a goodbye for her. 

   "Where's Tina?" she asked, peering into the house, and Devin shifted to block her view. 

   "She's laying down," he said, giving her a brittle smile.

   "Devin, is she mad at me? Did I do something?"

   His mouth twisted, and he shook his head unconvincingly as he stepped out onto the porch.

   "No. We're just going through a rough patch, that's all."

   Gina believed this was true, but she also knew it wasn't the entire truth. Something was going on, but she let the matter drop, pasting an understanding look on her face.

   "Well, if you need anything, or she wants to talk, I'll be around."

   Nodding, he went back inside, shutting the door in her face. Blinking in surprise, she turned around and headed for home, so inattentive that she almost walked past her own house. Feeling uneasy, she debated on whether or not to just go back and get Casey, but Tina had never been anything but wonderful to her daughter. Whatever she was going through, she wouldn't take it out on her girl. 

   Still feeling discombobulated, she went back into the house, flinging herself down on the floor next to Negan, who glanced at her quickly before turning his attention back to Michael, narrowly ducking a flying car. 

   She felt him stiffen underneath her fingers as she ran them along his arm, feeling the skin that was puckered from the gunshots. It was healing well, but there would be four very large scars, the ragged edges thickening as they healed. 

   Gina kissed his shoulder softly before getting to her feet, and the words came out of her mouth before she could stop them.

   "You're unhappy, Rick's going dark, and Tina's pissed at me for some reason. I honest to God don't even know what to do anymore."

   Before he could say anything, she walked out of the room and up the steps, stripping off her clothes to get in the shower. 

   The water was warm, and she tipped her head back, closing her eyes, letting the gentle trickle slide down her body, giving into the lingering pain in her throat. 

   She knew that they'd been through a lot. The world was a tough, shitty place, and all of them were scarred inside and out. But they were alive, they were together, and they had a future to look forward to. So, how do they move on? That was the million dollar question. 

   Her first priority was Negan. She wanted her man back. The confident, cocksure person was in there somewhere, and she had to help him to put himself back together. He needed to heal, physically and mentally, and she needed him to want her again. To make her feel like her being alive was a good thing. Her entire state of being revolved around him and the kids and her life didn't work without him. The true him. And she was terrified that Cleo broke something inside him during the time that he thought she was dead. 

   Gina always assumed that she was the target of Cleo's revenge, but maybe, just maybe, Negan was, too. 

   A flood of sadness washed over her, and her hands shook as she turned off the water. Snapping the shower curtain over, she yelped when she saw that Negan was sitting on the edge of the bed waiting for her, sending a warm, prickling sensation along her scalp. He looked sad and nervous as she covered herself up with a towel, stepping out of the tub with weak legs. 

   "We need to talk," he said, looking only at her neck. The rest of her didn't exist anymore. 

   "About what?" she asked, trying to keep her voice steady as her legs locked in place, preventing her from leaving the bathroom.

   "I know why Tina's acting the way she is."

    _Not again._

 

 


	114. Chapter 114

 

   The water that was dripping down her back felt like ice, sliding along her spine as she stared at him, feeling a sense of deja vu. This can't be happening again. He couldn't have betrayed her again.

   Negan patted the mattress next to him, but his hand froze in mid-air as she shook her head back and forth, droplets flying from her soaked hair.

   "No," she said, backing up a step. "If you're breaking my heart one more time, you can do it from there."

   His eyes widened, and he actually looked her in the eyes before getting upright.

   "I didn't do anything, I swear."

   It didn't change the buzzing in her ears as he took a step towards her, and Gina held her hand out, her fingers splayed wide.

   "Just tell me, Negan."

   It was a plea, to put her out of her self-created misery and he swallowed once before speaking.

   "While you and Carol were with Cleo, Tina made a pass at me. I shut her down and she hasn't spoken to me since. Talia heard the whole thing over the radio, and she knows what happened."

   Tina made a pass at him. Boom. The explosion went off in her brain. Talia knew about it and didn't tell her. Another bomb. Negan didn't tell her, the most damaging detonation of all.

   He must have seen something in her eyes, because he retreated towards the bed, clamping his lips shut as he watched her warily, waiting for her to go on the warpath.

   Her first instinct was to attack him, to scream and throw things as she was thrust back into six months ago with Annabeth. But her body moved before her brain could override it, and she found herself in front of her dresser before she knew what was happening, pulling her drawer open so roughly that the entire thing nearly came out in her hand.

   "You know, I'm getting really goddamned sick and tired of people trying to take what's mine," she said, each word getting louder and higher than the one the preceded it, forgetting that Michael was probably in his crib sleeping. Fumbling around, she snatched out some undergarments as she kept the towel wrapped around her body, flinching back when Negan's hand closed around her wrist.

   "Gina, it wasn't about me," he explained, trying to get her to look at him. "It was about Devin."

   "Are you fucking kidding me? Someone who's supposed to be my friend, waits until I'm gone, to, what? Sneak over here and proposition you? And you expect me to believe it's about Devin?"

   "Please calm down, and I'll explain," he said, gesturing to the bed, but she wouldn't budge, balling up her panties in her fist, leaning against the dresser. Her heart was pounding in her chest, her skin on fire as she pictured Tina all over Negan.

   When he was sure that she wasn't going to bolt out of the house nude, he sat back down, resting his sore arm on his leg.

   "Devin still has a thing for you, and Tina freaked out over his reaction when you left. She wanted to try to get back at him through me. I don't think she even thought much about what she was doing. She just wanted to hurt him, and I was the easy target, given my past fuckups," he said, a trace of bitterness and regret seeping into his voice. "I would never do that to you again."

   "Why didn't you tell me? How could you keep something like that from me?"

   "Look at everything we've been through," he snapped, his eyes sharpening as he looked from her arms to her neck, sending a chill through her, and she was suddenly aware of how wet and naked she was. "That little bimbo and her ego issues were the least of my fucking problems. I was a little more concerned about the fact that you were running off into the line of fucking fire, again. Away from me."

   Out of nowhere, a sense of calm flooded through her system, and she dropped the clothes in her hand on the floor, her feet carrying her towards him on their own. She was standing in front of him, and she held out her hand as he watched her in confusion, taking it after a minute and getting back to his feet.

   "Close your eyes," she whispered, noticing that his entire body stiffened as he looked down at her, his gaze drifting to her neck.

   His eyes closed, and she took his face in her hands, rubbing her thumbs gently across his eyelids, refusing to let him pull his head from her grasp. Gina reached down, undoing the towel, and it dropped to the floor with a muffled thump.

   Gently, she lifted his hand where it was hanging limply at his side, placing it on her breast, and she held it firmly when he tried to pull back.

   "It's me, Negan. It's still me."

   Her voice cracked as he tried to open his eyes, but she put her hands over his lids, pressing her body into his.

   "Don't look at me," she commanded him. "Feel me."

   If he wasn't going to push through this, she would do it for him. She needed him too much to let him fade away from her.

   "Gina, I can't."

   "Yes, you can. I need you back," she told him, reaching up to whisper into his lips. "Don't let her take you away from me."

   "I didn't do anything with Tina," he said, but she cut him off with a kiss.

   "I'm not talking about Tina," she breathed, her heart thumping when his hand tightened on her breast slightly. "Don't let Cleo take you away from me. You're mine. You belong to me. I came back to you, so come back to me."

   Negan let out a deep breath, the warm air blossoming over her face as she clutched the back of his neck, feeling the tremors that washed over his body, and his hand moved in a small circle over her breast, and her nipple hardened in response.

   "I love you, Negan," she whimpered, pressing her hips into his. "I don't give a fuck about Tina, or anyone else. It's only you."

   He groaned as she kissed his neck, licking the tender skin just under his ear. Then, she felt it, pressing into her belly. He was hard, and she dropped her hand from his eyes, which opened, blinking as he looked down on her. They were an espresso brown, lingering on her chest instead of her neck, and she rubbed him through his pants, his breathing speeding up.

   Before he could say or do something to change the charged air between them, she dropped to her knees, yanking down his pants, freeing him right in front of her lips.

   He growled out her name, and she pushed him onto the mattress, too wound up to be gentle, ignoring the huff that he let out as her nails dug into his thighs. She looked up into his eyes again, waiting for permission, and with a stiff nod, he let himself fall back onto the bed.

   Using her hands, she worked him up and down several times before kissing the tip, tasting his salty essence with her tongue.

   When she took him in all the way, he let out a moan of satisfaction, and it was all Gina could do to not smile. Licking him from base to tip, she swirled her mouth and hands around him, cupping him as she bobbed her head, ignoring the stinging in her neck. If he knew it was hurting her, it would undo every little barrier she just broke down.

   His long fingers twisted themselves in her wet hair, moving her head up and down as he directed her, his hips lifting automatically to insert himself deeper into her throat, and Gina forced the muscles to relax, letting him use her like he needed to.

   He moaned out her name, a breathless plea and a warning as she sped up his pleasure until he came into her mouth, the warmth spurting down her throat.

   Breathing through her nose, she swallowed it all, licking him clean before sitting back, panting loudly. He was still lying on his back, looking up at the ceiling when a bolt of lightning flashed through the windows, hitting the ground not far from them, making both of them jump.

   Michael let out a cry, and she hurriedly reached for her towel, wrapping it back around herself as she rushed to his room to comfort him.

   Sitting in the rocking chair, Gina held him as the storm raged on, thunder and lightning rocking through the air as raindrops pelted the window in a random rhythm, thinking about everything. It lasted at least an hour before changing to a steady downpour, and when Michael finally fell back asleep, she set him in his crib, turning up the white noise machine that sat in the corner in case the harsher weather returned.

   When she went back into their room, the bed was empty and the bathroom door was closed, so she threw on a shirt and a pair of panties before climbing on the mattress with her hairbrush, combing through the knots as she waited for him to come out.

   But he didn't, and after twenty minutes of sitting there like an asshole, she crawled under the covers and turned off the light, wondering if she made a huge mistake by pushing him.

   Cleo was dead, and she was still ruining her life. It was a bitter pill to swallow, choking the joy out of being back home and infecting all parts of her life. Rick was unreachable, hell-bent on going down a dark and lonely path, eschewing even his longtime friends.

   She and Negan were still healing, both physically and mentally, and Gina wasn't sure what the crucial ingredient was to get him to move past what happened. Never had he been so negatively affected by someone, at least not in her experience with him, and she couldn't quite fathom the change in his personality.

   Sleep was just within her grasp when she heard the bathroom door finally open, but she kept her body still, trying to maintain a deep and even set of breaths as he carefully maneuvered his body onto the bed, creating barely a rustle.

   "Are you awake?" he whispered in the lightest voice imaginable, and she knew that he wanted her to be asleep, so she played along. Another minute went by before he spoke again, and she had to struggle to listen while she kept still.

   "She said she slit your throat, and then she told me I didn't deserve you," he murmured, the bed shaking under his breaths. "She was dead fucking on, obviously, but when she told me that she watched you die, it killed something in me. All of the good that I've done, or tried to do anyway, it didn't make a damn difference, because you still died."

   Her heart was pattering in her chest as he spoke, and she had to physically fight the urge to turn around, to try to reassure him that she was fine.

   "Cleo said that she didn't put you down, and she promised me if I'd get her out of the prison, she'd let me see you one last time and give you peace, so I agreed to do it. I just couldn't stand the thought of you like that," he said, his voice cutting off as he sighed. "I'd already failed one woman that I loved, and I just-, the thought of you stuck in that fucking lonely existence..."

   Softly, so lightly that she thought she was imagining it, his fingers brushed her hair before grazing the corner of her shoulder where her tattoo was.

   "When Rick and everyone else left, she forced me outside, but she didn't lead me to you. She told me that she wasn't going to let me see you, that it would be much worse for me to imagine what you looked like as a walker, to know that you were out there somewhere, wandering for the rest of my life. That her real punishment for me was to make sure that I let you down one final time."

   Gina couldn't do it anymore. She couldn't listen to this bullshit, growing angrier by the second. Reaching out, she flipped the light back on, sitting up as quickly as she could, glaring down at him as he blinked roughly, his face getting flush.

   "That psycho bitch doesn't know shit about you or our life together, only bits and pieces that I _had_ to tell her about, Negan," she barked, pulling him into a sitting position.

   "She doesn't get to write the summary of our relationship."

   "Gina-"

   "No," she interrupted, holding out her arm. "This cut," she said, pointing to a long gash, "this was because I told her that Mikey died. This one is because I told her _you'd_ died." Her eyes never left his face as his jaw clenched. Each cut was punishment for her transgressions, not his, and she pointed them all out, listing them all for him to hear.

   "This one," she gestured to the one that went from her elbow to her wrist, "is because I love you, that I don't think you're a piece of shit, or deserving of scorn, and I told her right to her fucking face. Don't you get it? She couldn't break me. She couldn't make me see things in the fucked up way that she did, and she tried to break you, instead."

   Finally, she pointed to her neck. "This was because you came for me. But she didn't win, Negan. She fucking lost. She left me there bleeding and I fought. For you. For us. I got myself free from the chair she had me handcuffed to. Don't let her chain you to this version of yourself that you now think is accurate, because it isn't."

   She inched closer to him, taking his face in her hands as she searched his eyes.

   "You are the biggest, baddest motherfucker around," she told him with a smile. "You're too smart to fall for these head games. You fucking invented this post-apocalyptic mind-fuckery, for Christ's sake."

   Tipping her head forward, she kissed him softly on the cheek, feeling a thrill of satisfaction when he forced her lips to his.

   "I don't expect you to be happy-go-lucky all of a sudden, but you can work through this. You've brought me back time and again, and I'm not letting you go now. You're mine," she reminded him with a wink. "Bitches better recognize, dead ones or alive."

   He finally smiled, a real smile. A Negan smirk, and he ran his lips across her chin.

   "Say it again."

   "What? That you're a bad motherfucker?"

   "No," he chuckled in his deep voice, sending a wave of goosebumps across her skin. "That I'm yours."

   "You're mine," she asserted, her heart contracting with love and desire. "You've been mine since the first night we made love, and you'll be mine to the end of our days."

   "Damn fucking straight, baby."

   Gina reached behind her, turning the light off, and she let him pull her down onto his chest where she ran her hand up and down his stomach until his breathing evened out before closing her own eyes in a sheer, true moment of happiness.


	115. Chapter 115

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so this is a bit of a transitional chapter, so that we can get to the problems facing the rest of the family. However, a certain scene is inspired by one that happened in my own life, and I still have nightmares about it. Enjoy!!

  
   When she opened her eyes the next morning, Gina was disappointed to see that she was alone until she heard Michael's screeches from the downstairs floor. Glancing at the clock, she saw that it was after eight, and she figured that he got up with the baby since she took the night shift.

   Stretching carefully, she went into the bathroom to freshen up before throwing on a pair of pants and heading down to the dining room. 

   Negan gave her a brilliant smile as she entered, and she bent down to kiss him, getting an ass grab in return. 

   "Thanks for letting me sleep," she murmured as he tightened his arm around her waist.

   "No problem, babe," he replied, pulling her down again, releasing her only when Michael started to babble for her.

   "Hey, sweet pea," she cooed, taking him out of his seat as he looked between her and Negan before placing his chubby hands on her cheeks and smacking his wet mouth against hers.

   "Someone's jealous," she laughed, wiping her face as he tried to pull her back. "I love you too, baby boy."

   She sat down next to Negan as he shoved his bowl of cereal towards her along with his coffee cup. Taking a quick sip, she hummed in pleasure as the warm liquid soothed her throat which was sore from the night before. All things considered, it was totally worth it when she looked to her right. 

   Negan seemed more serene, and he wasn't staring at her neck for once, letting his gaze linger on her eyes, then her lips as she smiled back at him. 

   "See something you like?" she teased, her heart speeding up when he draped his hand on the back of her neck, contracting it slightly, a little growl erupting from his throat. 

   He opened his mouth to say something, probably inappropriate, but the door opened, and Casey came barrelling in, flinging her bag on the floor and yanking out one of the chairs, the feet screeching across the wood floor.

   "I'm starving," she moaned, putting her head in her hands as her elbows rested on the table.

   "Good morning," Gina chirped, handing the baby to Negan. "Did you come home by yourself?"

   "No, Devin's at the door. He wants to talk to you," she said in an unconcerned voice. 

   Glancing quickly at Negan, she went to the entrance to find the man in question waiting on the porch, looking grim.

   "Thanks for bringing her home," she said evenly as he shifted on his feet. 

   "Well, I wanted to talk to you."

   "About?"

   Devin gestured to the swing on her porch, and she shut the door softly behind her, hoping that Negan didn't come out to investigate.

   He sat down stiffly, and she followed suit, bringing her legs up to rest on the edge, the swing shifting back and forth. 

   "I'm going to give up my place on the council," he said without making eye contact with her. 

   "That's probably a good idea," she told him genially, expecting him to be surprised. "You can also let Tina know that I'll no longer be requiring her to watch my children, though Rebecca is free to come over any time to play with Casey."

   He turned his head to face her, and she wasn't sure if he was surprised or pissed, but he nodded once. 

   "So you know, then."

   "Did you think I'd never find out? About any of it?"

   His cheeks reddened, but she didn't have it in her to feel pity for him right at that second. "I'm not trying to make excuses for her, but she knows she screwed up," he told her, inching back from her slightly. "She's felt intimidated by you since you showed up, and she wanted to hurt me. She thought that if she made me jealous...I don't know," he sighed. "I don't know what the fuck she was thinking, but I really do love her. I want to try to work it out, and I can't do that if I'm on the council."

   "That's great for you, Devin, but don't expect me to just brush this off. If the shoe was on the other foot, and Negan hit on Tina, do you think it'd be no big deal?"

   "Of course not, but I know that she was doing it to-"

   He stopped himself, but Gina took up the slack.

   "Devin, I know that you had a crush on me," she said mildly as he stood up, backing up to the railing. It was time to end this once and for all. She liked him, she thought he was a good guy and council member, but it wasn't like he was irreplaceable. And she was still irate that once again, people knew about what happened in her personal business and she didn't. "I don't know why for sure, but I have a theory."

   He looked like he wanted to just walk away, but she kept talking.

   "Sure, I'm decent looking," she said, bringing her legs to the ground, pushing the swing slightly, "but I think it has more to do with your first impression of me, when I disarmed you."

   He narrowed his gaze at her, the blue in his eyes freezing slightly as she recalled Negan telling her that it was a turn on for some men. 

   "You know me, but you don't really _know_ me, Devin. You have this idea of me in your mind, and you think it's the counterbalance to sweet, innocent Tina. What you don't know is that I'm a bitch," she smiled. "I'd kick you in the side if you snored. Hard. I'd question every decision you'd ever make. I'd boss you around and harp at you, I'd push your buttons."

   "You and I would never work, because I need, crave someone like Negan, someone that can stand up to me, and even if he wasn't in the picture, you just wouldn't be my type. The fact that you're trying to excuse what Tina did says it all."

   She knew he was getting pissed, but she continued on, his balls underneath her metaphorical stilettos, and she pressed down hard.

   "You belong with a girl like Tina. A nice, sweet," she said, rolling her eyes, "safe girl like Tina. You can't help who you're attracted to, obviously, but judging by the look on your face, I'm no longer going to be an issue for you going forward."

   Gina rose to her feet, making her way back towards the door. "So, good luck with your relationship, and tell Tina she'd better keep the fuck away from me for a while."

   Opening the door, she turned around with a hard look. "Oh, and it was really shitty of her to send you over here to try to cover for her. She should really clean up her own messes."

   The door shut softly, and she could see him shake his head as if to clear it before loping down the steps. Her back was tingling since she could feel Negan's eyes burning into her, but she didn't want to get into it with Casey sitting right there.

   Taking a deep breath, she faced him with a reassuring smile, coming to sit down next to her daughter, sweeping her hair back as she finished her breakfast. 

   "I want to talk to you, bug," she said, finding herself being watched by another pair of eyes. "You're going to be going to Ronnie's during the day from now on. You and Michael, okay?"

   "Why?" she asked curiously, her fist gripping the spoon.

   "Because Tina's not feeling well, and she needs to take a break. Ronnie's going to take over teaching you, and we'll start you back on your gun training."

   "Really? You mean it?"

   "I do." 

   She fought the urge to sigh, but she knew that Casey needed to be prepared. The last few weeks had taught her that she wanted her daughter to be strong. Strong enough so that if anything happened to her or Negan she'd be able to take care of herself, though she planned on living a long life. But there was no guarantee anymore, and her own father had made sure she was prepared for anything. Not the walking dead, obviously, but to try to keep herself safe from regular dangers.

   "I'll teach you how to shoot, self-defense, and anything I can so that you feel confident and prepared for anything."

   Casey reached up to hug her, patting her hair, and Gina glanced at Negan who looked both sad and proud. No doubt it was something he didn't want to have happen, but he also knew that they couldn't protect her from everything, so they had to give her the confidence to navigate a new world. 

   Mikey was due for his morning nap, so she sent Casey off to play while she took him upstairs, laying him down in his crib before going into her room to get changed. 

   She was in her bra and panties, studying her reflection in the mirror when she noticed that her wedding ring wasn't on her finger, and she looked down. Negan had put it back on her when she returned from Cleo's and they hadn't said so much as one word about it. It had been loose, but she didn't even notice that it had dropped off, and she scanned the ground looking for it. 

   The bathroom, the tub, it was nowhere to be found. With a sigh, she got down on her hands and knees, sliding under the bed to see if it rolled under there, her ass stuck in the air.

   "What the hell are you doing?"

   It came out of nowhere, and she yelped in surprise, her head flying up and hitting the metal bed frame with a clang.

   "Goddamnit," she screeched, backing out from under the bed, rubbing her throbbing head.

   "That fucking mouth," he hissed in a low voice, shutting the door behind him. "Casey's door is open."

   "Well, excuse the fuck out of me," she glared at him, still on the floor. "You scared the shit out of me."

   "What were you doing?" he reiterated, his eyes roaming over her body, but she was still smarting from the head shellacking she just took. 

   "Looking for my ring," she told him, getting to her knees before he extended his hand to help her up. "It fell off my finger and I can't find it."

   "Oh," he said, sounding surprised.

   "Why? What did you think I was doing?"

   "I don't know. That's why I asked." He dropped her hand, staring at her bra, and she burst out laughing. 

   "I see," she mused, licking her top lip. "You saw me down on my knees with my ass up and you thought, what? That I was presenting myself to you like a bitch in heat? With my head under the bed?" 

   She guffawed loudly, unable to help herself. 

   "So what if I did?" he challenged, backing her towards the bed. "You wanted the old Negan back, and he's on his way home, baby."

   "Yeah, well, 'the old Negan' needs to work on his game, because that was ridiculous. You're embarrassing yourself, old man," she snickered, knowing it would rile him up, and she was rewarded with a gentle push onto the mattress as he straddled her waist, staring down at her with brown-black eyes, his nostrils flaring slightly.

   "You keep pushing me, Gina, and you might regret it," he growled, leaning over her to rest himself on his good arm. His lips were centimeters from hers, teasing her, taunting her, and she lifted her head to kiss him but he pulled back away from her. 

   "Prove it," she whispered, laying her head back down and waiting for him to make the move. She initiated things the night before, and she knew he needed to reestablish his dominance over her, to leave her breathless and begging him for a reprieve. And she was all in.

   Gingerly, he took her wrists, holding them together above her head, and he bent down, kissing her neck just underneath her jaw, working his way around the cut along her neck. 

   "Keep them above your head," he commanded, setting her free and she complied, working hard to not lift them up and run them along his chest as he stripped off his shirt.

   The planes of his stomach rippled and she actually felt her mouth start to water, causing her to shift uncomfortably underneath him as a pool of heat bloomed between her legs. This was really happening.

   "Don't have any smartass comments?" he taunted her with a grin, running his finger along the strap of her bra, easing it down her shoulder. She bit down on her lips, sucking them between her teeth as he got down in her face. "No? Nothing?"

   She shook her head, squeezing her eyes shut as she felt his stubble in the valley between her breasts, chafing against the tender skin. He lowered the cup of her bra, and she could feel his breath as he blew onto her nipple, sending it straight up, clamping his lips around it as she moaned, her hands clenching into fists.

   Just then, their door flew open and she struggled to cover herself as Negan jumped off of her, Casey's eyes wide with surprise.

   "Casey, go to your room," she barked, her face turning beet red as she slipped the bra back in place. How the hell could she forget that the kids were here and awake? At least one of them.

   "Oh, my God," she moaned, covering her face as Negan adjusted himself with a grumble. "I am mortified."

   "She had to figure it out eventually," he replied, pulling a shirt and a pair of jeans out of her closet and handing them to her. He kissed her quickly on the lips before heading for the bathroom. "I need a cold shower. Good luck with that," he told her, motioning to Casey's room before shutting the door.

   "Asshole," she mumbled, dressing as quickly as possible. For some ungodly reason, Gina hadn't even considered having the talk with Casey since they were so careful around the kids. And it wasn't like they were exposed to the internet, porn, and inappropriate movies or images. 

   Slinking out into the hall, she knocked on Casey's door before entering, finding the girl sitting up on the bed with her arms wrapped around her skinny knees. She looked uncomfortable, but not hopelessly overwhelmed, which seemed like a good thing. 

   "Can I sit down?" she asked. "I think we should have a little talk."

   "Uh huh."

   "Ok," she said with a deep breath. "First of all, I'm sorry for yelling at you. But," she qualified, "it's important to respect others' privacy by knocking first. I don't barge into your room, and you know that you shouldn't walk into anyone else's, either. Right?"

   "Yes." 

   "Secondly, what dad and I were doing is something that adults do," she told her.

   "Mom, I know what sex is," Casey muttered, rolling her eyes, and Gina wanted to melt into the floor, a surreal feeling sweeping over her.

   "How do you know? We've never talked about it," she weakly replied, her face feeling hot. 

   "Rebecca and I found some books in Tina's house, and there was kissing and stuff," she said, dropping her chin onto her knees, avoiding Gina's eyes. "We read about it."

   She took a deep, cleansing breath, wanting to throttle Tina for about a hundred different reasons, but the more pressing issue was her little girl. Her baby.

   "So, what questions do you have, sweet pea? You can ask me anything."

   Casey's shoulders slumped, bringing her into a little ball as she thought about it. 

   "I thought you were supposed to have sex to make babies. But you aren't having any more, are you? Dad said you guys weren't."

   "Well, yes, sex is for making babies, but it's also a way for people who love each other to show it," she said carefully, debating on how to frame what she wanted to say. "When you love someone very much, it's a way to be intimate with them and to show them how much they mean to you. When you're an adult," she added. "Do you know what intimacy means?"

   Casey shook her head and Gina inched closer to her, putting her arms around her. 

   "Basically, it means that you're very close with someone, and you care about them. A lot. I love dad very much, and he loves me, so it's a way for us to be even closer to each other."

   "Does it hurt?" she asked tentatively, looking up at Gina with both intrigue and maybe a slight bit of fear. 

   "At first," Gina said truthfully, "but over time it gets better, and it starts to feel good. But you should only do it when you're old enough to understand the consequences of giving such a precious gift to someone else. It's not something to be taken lightly."

   "Huh," she huffed, getting a glint in her eye. "So you've only done sex with dad?"

  _Please kill me, now_.

   "Uh, no. I've had sex with other people, but not for a long time," she lied, feeling guilty, thinking about John. "But he wasn't the first person I ever did it with."

   "How come?"

   "I've had other people, you know, boyfriends and stuff before I met him. But I only did it when I really cared about them."

   "Well, how old were you when you first did it?" Casey pressed, chewing on the inside of her cheek as she waited for Gina to answer.

   "I was sixteen," she admitted as Casey's eyes widened. "I loved him, and we spent a few years together. But again, I was older and ready to take that step. It's nothing to play around with, Casey. If you're giving someone that permission with your body, they should also have your heart, and your love."

   She continued to pepper her with questions, from logistics to queries about the reasons to do it, but when her inquiries came to a conclusion, Gina actually felt relief that they'd discussed it. If she could put a gun in her baby's hand, she could trust her to handle a delicate subject, though she hoped that her curiosity was abated for, say, ten years.

   Kissing her on the cheek, she urged her to get ready to go to Ronnie's for a bit, hightailing it back to her room, the pounding in her head making her vision throb with her heartbeat. 

   Negan was laying on the bed with a smirk when she came in, and she threw him a dirty look.

   "Did you find my ring, or were you sitting here being an asshole?"

   "Just sitting here, and I don't know where your ring is," he chuckled. "How did it go?"

   "I want to die right now, but we had a good talk. Oh, and you can add another thing to the beatdown list that I'm compiling for Tina. Our daughter found a sex book or something at her house. So, she wasn't totally shocked at what we were doing," Gina told him, pulling her boots out of the closet.

   His smile faded in a heartbeat as he sat up. "She what?"

   "It's not so funny now, is it?"

   "Not really," he mumbled, approaching her and placing a hand on her shoulder. "I'm sorry. I should've offered to help you out."

   "You did enough," she glared at him before grinning. "I think your punishment was more than plenty." Grazing her hands over his groin, she kissed him, biting down on his bottom lip. 

   "As soon as Michael gets up, I want to take them to Ronnie's," she said, stepping back. "We do have actual business to attend to."

   "And that would be?"

   "Well, Devin is quitting the council, so he needs to be replaced, and Rick is about ready to go off the deep end. He wants to meet with everyone to plead his case on going out to look for Ivy. Oh, and he doesn't think it's our responsibility to help Ezekiel rebuild."

   "Well...fuck," Negan said, striding towards the door


	116. Chapter 116

   After talking to Ronnie to make sure she was willing to take over caring for Michael and Casey, Gina felt a sense of relief. She'd told Devin that it was a done deal before she'd even checked with the older woman, but thankfully, she was on board, and she didn't question the change. 

  She and Negan had just left Ronnie's house, and they were onto their second stop of the day. Linking hands with him, she told him about her conversation with Devin, and to no one's surprise, he'd gotten a kick out of her somewhat rude, but very much needed comments. 

   "Fucking hell, were there ever two people more suited for each other than us?" he laughed, bumping her shoulder with his.

   "Probably not. But now we have to figure out who we're going to replace him with." 

   "Well, you should probably let the town decide," he said as she glanced up at him. "There's a few guys that could do the job."

   "Such as?"

   "Chuck's a smart guy, and he's been around a while. Trevor's got a few guys that can step up, too. Not to mention Daryl."

   "That's a thought," she replied, humoring him as they got to Talia and Daryl's house. 

   Knocking twice, they waited for someone to answer, and she felt his hand slide across her lower back, filling her with a surge of affection. Hopefully, the could pick up where they left off after the kids went to bed for the night, and she shivered as she felt the ghost of his lips on her chest. He smirked as he stared ahead and she shook her head in annoyance. 

   Daryl opened the door, grunting at them in greeting before letting them in. He was sour for some reason, and when they followed him into the dining room, he sat down roughly next to Talia who was looking pale. 

   "What's wrong?" Gina asked automatically, worrying before she knew anything was wrong.

   "Nothing," Talia snapped, rubbing the back of her neck. "I'm not feeling well."

   "Oh shit, are you pregnant?" she blurted out, immediately regretting it when Talia damn near melted her face off with her eyes.

   "No, for fuck's sake," she snarled, and even Negan took a step back. "I have a hangover."

   "Oh," she mumbled before remembering that she had her own reasons to be pissed. "I want to talk to you later. Alone."

   It drew no reaction and Negan pushed her towards one of the chairs, grabbing the seat next to her. "Is Rick here?"

   "Nah," Daryl mumbled as Gina and Talia engaged in a staredown. "He's been at the armory since dawn, going over the weapons inventory."

   "How did he seem this morning?" Negan pressed as Talia stood up, bolting for the steps. The sounds of retching floated down, and Gina felt a twinge of satisfaction at her sister's misery. 

   "The same as he's been since we got back," Daryl said, tapping his nails on the table. He seemed edgy, like he knew why they were here, and Gina clicked her tongue against her teeth.

   "He wants to go after Ivy, and he's requested a meeting to try to convince us that he's right," she said, and Daryl shook his head. 

   "He's...I don't know, man. I've seen him go to some pretty dark places, and I get the bad feelin' that he's gonna snap soon. I don't know what to do."

   "Well, how did you get him back to normal the other times?" Gina asked, giving Negan a quick look. He'd seen Rick's temper before. He'd been the target of Rick's rage at one point. "I asked him if he'd talk to Bethany and he didn't seem enthused, to say the least."

   "Time," Daryl muttered. 

   "That's it? Time?"

   "I don't know what ya want me to say. He was crazed when he lost Lori, but he had Judith and the Governor to distract him, and then he had Michonne to keep him in check. I dunno. I've tried to talk to him, but he won't open up. Why don't you try?" he asked, shooting Negan a look.

   Gina went to say something, but Negan stood up, walking to the door without a word and he was gone in a second, leaving her and Daryl staring at each other. 

   "I didn't mean right this second," he grumbled, looking up at the ceiling. 

   "Did you know, too?" she asked suddenly, bringing his attention back to her as he narrowed his eyes. 

   "Know what?"

   "That fucking Tina hit on Negan?"

   "Yeah."

   "What the hell, Daryl?" she hissed, and his face flushed.

   "He didn't do nothin'. He shut her down right away and scared the shit outta her. Didn't really see the point in upsettin' ya with everything else goin' on."

   What the hell was it with these people?

   "Uh, wouldn't you want to know if someone was putting the moves on Talia?" she asked as her sister came clomping down the steps, her eyes glassy as she stopped in her tracks.

   "Not if she didn't do anything wrong," he shrugged, completely unbothered. "It'd only piss me off, and then I'd have to break someone's skull."

   Talia sat down, avoiding Gina's eyes as she spluttered angrily.

   "You're startin' to sound like a chipmunk on helium," he said with a smirk.

   "I can't handle this," Talia groaned, shushing the two of them. "Can we get back to the real problem? Rick?"

   As she was prone to do, Gina kicked at his leg under the table, grinning like an jerk when she made contact with his shin, making his face go tomato red. 

   "I swear to God I will projectile vomit all over the both of you if you don't cut the shit right now."

   "Well, learn to hold your liquor, then," Gina mumbled before taking a deep breath.

   "All right, the other problem with Rick is that he doesn't think Ezekiel's plan to rebuild the Kingdom is any of our concern, and he's planning on telling the council that we shouldn't assist with any of it. He wants us to be totally focused on ourselves."

   Daryl was shocked, at a loss of words as Talia put her hand over her mouth. 

   "That's not us," Daryl said, getting to his feet. "That's now how we are. Ezekiel's family, and everyone else is still at Arcadia. Doesn't he care about that?"

   "Apparently not. At least not right now."

   "We gotta have an intervention or something. Try to get him to see that we're the safest that we're probably ever gonna be," he said, pacing around the table.

   "And the trifecta of this shitshow is that Devin is removing himself from the council due to aforementioned Tina incident, so he'll have to be replaced. I'm going to need someone, or multiple people to take his place, to try to keep Rick under control. We'll have to have a majority rule if we want to turn him down, and I know he can be persuasive. I'm afraid he'll bulldoze Trevor or Clinton, and then he'll just go off and do something stupid."

   "Who are ya thinkin' of?"

   "You, for one," she said carefully, and he stopped in his tracks.

   "No."

   "Why not?" She was genuinely surprised that he didn't want more responsibility.

   "I'm not built for that," he said as Talia reached out to take his hand. "I'd rather be out doing stuff instead of decidin' stuff."

   "I can respect that," Gina told him sincerely, and he watched her suspiciously until he determined that she was being truthful. 

   "I'm going to go around and talk to the residents, see how they're feeling and what suggestions they have. Do you want to meet up again, say around five? Ronnie's got my kids all day."

   Talia nodded as Daryl walked her to the door. "Has Rick said anything to Ezekiel about not wanting to help?"

   "No," Daryl said uneasily. "I don't think so. He hasn't said anything, and they're coming back from Arcadia today."

   "Okay, well if you can, help me spread the word that there's a town meeting tomorrow, and hopefully we can get some of this shit sorted out," she told him and he nodded. 

   Gina looked around, but Negan still hadn't resurfaced, so she started at the top of the street, knocking on every door and talking to each resident that was home, asking them how they were doing and if they had any concerns.

   Most were still leery, afraid of another attack, and she tried to reassure them that they were going to stay vigilant, but that the most serious threats had been neutralized. She also asked their opinions on who they thought would be a good council member, explaining to them that there would be a mandatory meeting the following day to update them.

   She found herself bypassing Tina's house with a dirty look before rounding up Trevor, who had just returned from another fishing expedition and Clinton who followed her to her office.

   "Have you guys talked to Devin?"

   "Yes," Clinton sighed, wedging his tall body into one of the chairs. "He told me he's stepping down."

   Trevor sat next to him, running his fingers along the edge of the desk. "What are your thoughts?" he asked, looking between the two of them. 

   "Well," Gina sighed, "I spent most of the day talking to the residents, and I told them there was a meeting tomorrow so that we can replace him. What do you think of adding two people?"

   "Why two?" Trevor questioned, looking at her curiously. 

   "Because I'm worried about Rick," she admitted. "After everything he's been through, he's in a delicate state right now."

   "Is he dangerous?" 

   Clinton's voice was sharp as he sat up straighter. 

   "No, no," Gina said hastily, shaking her head. "He's just sidetracked by the fact that one woman made it out of the prison, and I think he's focusing all of his energy on trying to right that wrong, I guess. He wants to meet with us to discuss sending people out to look for her."

   "And you don't agree?" Clinton interjected.

   "Do you?"

   "Not really," he said. "There are more important things to deal with here. We need to reestablish our trading, and now that you've brought Dwight's group on board, it replaces some of the volume we've lost when the Kingdom and the Hilltop fell. We need to concentrate on our shipping and get people back on the other peninsulas."

   "The boats need tending to, and I need people to man them so we can expand," Trevor agreed as Gina smiled. 

   "How's Carl doing, by the way?" she asked as he smiled back.

   "He's a good kid, and I think with a bit of time, I'd be comfortable sending him out to man his own crew. With the fact that we're probably the only ones in a hundred miles fishing the ocean, there's an endless supply that we can take advantage of."

   She couldn't help the goofy grin that crossed her face. "Is he happy out there?"

   "He is," Trevor said fondly, and she knew he had a soft spot for Carl. "He's a natural, especially with the maps."

   "Good," she said, letting that line of conversation drop. "So, my thinking is, when Rick comes to us, we should maybe insist that he talks to Bethany before we agree to anything."

   "So you do want to let him go around chasing this woman?" Clinton questioned, but she continued on.

   "Absolutely not. I'm just hoping that with talking some of this out, it'll show him that it's not needed. I don't know how much you know about Rick's past, but this isn't the first significant loss he's suffered."

   She told them in concise words about his first wife and some of the things that Negan had told her about the prison he'd lived at before coming to Alexandria.

   "Jesus," Trevor muttered when she was done. "That guy's been through hell."

   "I know, and I love him like a brother. He's smart, and a good leader, so we need to make sure that he can come through this. The best that any of us can, anyway." She was painfully aware of her own sufferings, but she at least had Negan to lean on. "I'd also like to hear your suggestions for who we could put on the council."

   Neither rushed to answer, and Gina waited patiently for them to offer up a few names. 

   "Chuck would be okay," Clinton said finally before shrugging his shoulders, "and Negan." He gave her a hopeful look but she kept her face smooth. 

   "Why Negan?"

   "You know why," he said patiently. "He's sharp, and he obviously can get things done. He'd be a great addition, and it's not like he doesn't wield power in this town already."

   "And you don't feel it would be a conflict of interest to have him come on board in a real position of power since we're married?" she verified.

   "Something tells me you wouldn't have a problem shutting him down if you didn't agree with any course of action he'd take that wasn't up to your high standards," Clinton laughed, and she felt an acute sense of relief. "I respect him, and everyone else does, too."

   "I'm fine with that, pending town approval," Trevor piped in. "Who's on your list?"

   "Chuck would be fine with me," she said mildly. "And I'd also like to toss Ezekiel's name into the hat, at least until he finishes rebuilding his own community."

   "Ezekiel?"

   "He's a very personable man," she argued, " and I'd love to send him out as an emissary to our trading partners, since he's very level-headed and fair. Don't you guys get tired of the petty squabbles that some of these people bring to us? He could handle that, too."

   They spent the next half-hour comparing and contrasting the pros and cons of each of their nominees, and after coming to a tentative agreement, they each split off to head home. 

   She was just passing her own house to fetch the kids when Negan opened the door, calling out to her, and she promptly forgot her plans to meet back up with Daryl.

   "Hey," she murmured, kissing him quickly before kicking off her boots. "How are my three favorite people?"

   "Casey's getting her bath, and Mikey's playing on the floor while I rustle us up some grub."

   "Can you be any older?" she laughed, skittering back before he could grab her. "Would you care to court me before dinner?"

   "Ha fucking ha," he muttered, stalking back into the kitchen as she settled down on the floor with the baby, playing and holding him up as he attempted to take his first steps. 

   "You're so close, Mikey," she praised him as he screeched in frustration. "Any day now, little guy."

   Casey came trudging down the steps, flinging herself down on the couch as Gina glanced back. 

   "Hey, baby," she said, getting a grunt in reply. 

   "I thought we were going to practice shooting today," she grumbled, giving her a look. 

   "I didn't say today," Gina reminded her. "I had to meet with a lot of people. I promise we'll go tomorrow, okay?"

   "Fine," she huffed before getting down on the floor with her, letting Michael climb onto her lap, leaving Gina feeling frustrated. Casey was getting grumpier, and she wondered if it was her hormones before suppressing a shiver. No, she was too young. She hoped. Maybe it was just the upheaval of the past few months. 

   Kissing the top of her head, she got up, wandering into the kitchen to see if Negan needed any help, and he handed her the serving pot which was filled with vegetable soup.

   He had a small bowl filled with some that had been blended for Michael, and they carried it out to the dining room as Casey came wandering in with Mikey crawling behind her. 

   She was subdued, and she glanced between Gina and Negan a few times before her cheeks pinked up and she dropped her head, making Gina wish she could erase the morning from their collective memories. Negan seemed uncomfortable as well, and there was a distinct lack of conversation around their table while she fed the baby. 

   "Do you want to watch a movie, Casey?" she asked after they cleaned up the table, and the two of them went into the living room as Negan took the baby up for his bath. 

   Casey rifled through the selection, handing her the Wizard of Oz, and she popped it in, curling up on the couch with Casey on her side, leaning against her. For a while, they were lost in the songs and vibrant colors of Oz until she felt Casey's head drooping onto her chest, and she clicked off the television, hoisting her up and carrying her to her room.

   She covered her up, kissing her on the forehead before shutting the door and doing the same to her boy. Every day she had with them was a blessing, and it wasn't lost on her after spending so much time thinking about Rick today. Anything could be taken from them at any time.

   When she opened the door to their room, she stopped in her tracks. Negan was sprawled out on the bed, completely naked, stroking himself as he licked his lips. It was hands down, the cheesiest, sexiest thing she'd ever seen and she leaned back against the door, unable to move. 

   "Don't make me come over there and get you," he told her, his hand moving up and down slowly, prompting her to take a few steps forward. 

   "Are you sure you even need me for this?" she said, taking another step. "You seem to be doing fine on your own."

   She discarded her shirt before unbuttoning her pants, sliding them down slowly, happy when his eyes focused on her body and not her arms. Standing along the edge of the bed, Gina waited for him to sit up, letting him do the honors of unhooking her bra, and he bit back a wince as his arms snaked around her. 

   His thumbs tucked themselves into her panties, and he slid them down her thighs, kissing her stomach as he discarded them, inhaling deeply into her skin. She ran her hands through his hair and down his back, the warmth emanating off of him like a stove. 

   "Lay down," she said, straddling his waist before leaning over him, her breasts brushing against his chest as he tucked her hair behind her ears. 

   With a quick adjustment, she lowered herself onto him, letting out a sigh as she took him all the way inside, every vein, every piece of him filling her up. It may have been lame, but they fit together perfectly in her eyes, and she began to move up and down slowly, adjusting to the feel of him, her fingers combing through his chest hair. 

   "God," she sighed, looking down to see that his eyes were closed, and she bent over, kissing him as he lifted her hips so that he could pump himself into her. Negan knew exactly how to thrust into her, able to hit that one sweet spot that sent her into a wave of pleasure, and she was calling his name before he even got close to the finish line, letting her flop onto his chest as he continued his assault on her core. 

   Gina sucked on his neck as he ran his hands up and down her back until he slammed himself upwards with a grunt, coming inside her with force, his groin grinding against her in an uneven rhythm while he rubbed his face along her shoulder. 

   "As soon as my arm is healed I'm going to tear that ass up," he rasped as she laughed, biting at his earlobe. 

   "Challenge accepted," she told him, sliding off to the side. They were both sweaty and sticky as they caught their breath, and she ran her hands up and down his chest, kissing him on the temple. 

   She almost asked him how it went with Rick, but in light what they just did, she decided it could hold until tomorrow, content to just be for the moment. Everything else could wait.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two stories. Two updates. One day. I. Am. Tired. But I hope you enjoy!


	117. Chapter 117

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back!!  
> I took a very long sabbatical while writing another story, but I'm so happy to get back to this one, as long as people still dig it. I may take me a chapter or two (or ten) to get into the swing of things, but if you're still along for the ride, then so am I.

   "Okay, bug, what do you do when someone grabs your wrist?"

   Gina placed her hand securely around Casey's tiny bones, watching closely as the girl squinted, recalling what Gina taught her, and after a second, she twisted her arm, yanking herself free of her mother's grip. Her face lit up, and Gina praised her.

   "Mom, did you really knock dad to the ground?"

   "He told you about that?" Gina asked with a smile as Casey nodded. 

   "Uh huh."

   "Well, I did," she chuckled, "and he was very surprised."

   "Can you teach me?"

   "I will," Gina promised. "But we're going to take it one step at a time. First is breaking holds and shooting practice."

   Casey grumbled lightly, but resumed her stance as they practiced again. When Gina was satisfied, they started on the target shooting, and she had to admit that she was impressed, both with Casey's talent and Negan's teaching. It's not that she wanted her baby to use a gun, but it was good to know that she could just in case of emergency.

   Glancing at her watch, she called for Casey to stop. 

   "We have to get back, bug. The meeting is going to be starting soon and I have to get ready."

   "But we can come back tomorrow, right?" Casey asked, snapping the safety down before handing it over.

   "Sure. Dad or I will take care of it."

   The two held hands as they walked back to the main gate, waving to Chuck, who had politely declined a spot on the council. She didn't blame him, and he insisted that he was fine running the wall. 

   "I'm not a leader," he'd said with a laugh as she took Casey out to train. "I don't want the responsibility. I hope that doesn't make me sound like a jerk."

   Gina told him it was understandable. Being in charge wasn't always what it was cracked up to be, and sometimes, just sometimes, she wished she could give it up. So, they were down to Negan and Ezekiel, neither of whom knew that they were being promoted.

   When they woke up this morning, Negan had told her that his talk with Rick didn't go well. At all.

   "He's focused, baby," he'd said, shrugging on his shirt as Gina watched him from the bed. "At this point, I think he thinks that making sure this Ivy chick is dead will end the worst chapter in his life. That it's unfinished if he doesn't have proof that they're all gone."

   "So, how do we get him to unfocus?"

   "I think Daryl was right," he said, sitting back down next to her, his fingers grazing her shoulder. "Time. Let him see that we're okay and that we're safe now. Distance from what happened will help."

   "Well, I talked to Trevor and Clinton about it, and we're going to tell him that we'll let him look for Ivy, but only after he talks to Bethany."

   "Gina," he began, but she kissed him quickly, getting up to get her own clothes on.

   "We're not really going to let him. It's just a way to get him to process this. Hopefully, Bethany can break through whatever shell he's created. It worked for you," she said with a wink and he shook his head. 

   They rounded up the kids after breakfast, and Gina shepherded them to Ronnie's so that she could meet Clinton, Trevor, and hopefully Rick at her office. Negan took off to meet with Daryl, and he told her that he'd see her at the warehouse, kissing the kids goodbye for the day. 

   He was adamant about getting back to work, and they'd just moved some of the families back over to the outer peninsula. Negan wanted to extend the walls so that both areas would be behind the same one, therefore maintaining better contact since people would be able to use the street that connected them without having to go in and out of two different barriers. 

   Gina thought that it was a great idea, and she was surer than ever that he'd do well on the council. No longer concerned with being in charge just to assert his power over everyone, Negan was focused on making things better. His selfish tendencies seemed to be gone for good, and she couldn't be any prouder of the man he'd become, or gone back to, for all she knew.

   "Good morning," Ronnie greeted her, taking Michael from her and smothering him with love. "Casey, Rebecca's here. She's at the table."

   "Bye, mom," she chirped, disappearing into the house. 

   "Thanks for taking them," Gina smiled, rubbing Michael's cheeks as he bobbed his head. "Negan or I will pick them up after the meeting."

   "Take your time," Ronnie assured her. "This is my job, remember? You've got enough to do as it is, and I love having all of the kids."

   Gina hugged her from the side, feeling relieved. She really did have work to catch up on, and depending on how the meeting went, they had to start the slow return to normal. Of course, they also had to figure out what to do about Rick. 

   As she walked towards the pier, she kept an eye out for him, spotting him outside the armory. He glanced over at her, nodding once before striding over to the wall, barking out orders from the ground. Nope, not any better.

   Shaking it off until later, she made the short walk to her office, sitting down at the desk as she pondered which ledger to start on first. Dwight was now going to be dealing with them, adding another group to their relay. Still, with only them and Arcadia to trade with, she knew that Clinton would have to go out to find other settlements. There were definitely more groups like theirs, though they needed to proceed with caution. No one wanted to run into another group like Cleo's. 

   But they were heading into summer, and it was a prime fishing season for them. Trevor was right that they pretty much owned the sea, and if Ezekiel was really planning on rebuilding, they'd need more hands on deck to help out, even though Rick claimed it wasn't their responsibility. Gina knew that he was still operating out of a place of anger, but they couldn't turn their backs on him. Ezekiel had every right to want to see the Kingdom restored to its former glory, and it would only keep things moving forward. As much as she wanted everyone that she loved all in one place, Gina knew it was unrealistic. They had to continue to grow, and that meant expansion beyond their own walls.

   A series of knocks echoed through the room before Clinton strolled in, taking the seat directly in front of her.

   "I heard about Chuck. So that puts us down to two potential council members. Do you still want to offer it up to a vote, then? There doesn't seem to be much point."

   "I guess not," Gina shrugged. "When I went around town yesterday, most people are comfortable with both Ezekiel and Negan. We just need to let Rick know. He was down at the wall the last time I saw him."

   Clinton's mouth twisted slightly, and Gina diverted his attention by showing him the ledgers and asking him where he thought that they should start looking for other communities. He opened up the map that she kept on the shelf, and they spent the next few minutes poring over it as he showed her some areas with gated communities, thinking that they should start there. 

   Trevor was the next one to show up, and he took the other chair. While they waited for Rick to join them, they ran over the boats that were due for repairs, and Clinton offered to go on a trip to find some parts so that everything remained in top condition. 

   Rick never joined them, so when the clock showed noon, the three of them headed to the warehouse together, surprised to find that Rick was there, talking to Negan with heated gestures. He glanced over at them quickly before stalking towards the stage, taking the corner for himself. 

   Negan sat down in the front row for some strange reason, and he avoided Rick's icy stare, smiling at Gina reassuringly. She looked to Clinton to see if he wanted to kick things off, and he cleared his throat, waiting for the low murmurs in the large room to die down.

   "I'd like to thank everyone for coming," he began, ignoring the expectant gazes of the people that were directly in front of him. "We won't keep you long. This is more of a State of the Union than anything. As some of you might be aware, Devin has decided to step down from the council to concentrate more on his family time, and we wish him nothing but the best."

   Devin was sitting towards the back of the room, and he nodded with a brittle smile. Tina was nowhere to be found, and Gina had half a mind to go to her house and physically drag her here. She was shirking her responsibilities, and it was bullshit in her opinion. They all had jobs to do, and if she wasn't going to take care of the kids, she was going to get off her ass and help out some other way. There was no time for her depression, or whatever the fuck she was considering it.

   "In light of that, we got together to decide what we thought would be the best plan, and since Reedville is poised to expand, we decided to add two more people to the council so that we could spread out the responsibilities."

   A few people looked at each other in surprise, but it didn't seem to be uneasy. It was more that they were unaware of the plans that the council had for their little community. Gina suspected that some of them were content to live in their little bubble, but a change was necessary if they wanted to survive and rebuild.

   "After talking to each of you about any concerns and ideas that you had, we've chosen Negan and Ezekiel to come on board to help lead."

   Both men looked stunned, and Gina waved them to come up to the stage. Of the two of them, Negan was the one that was reticent to get out of his seat and come up. The crowd gasped briefly before applauding, and it finally spurred him to get up and walk over to the steps, but he shot Gina an angry look.

   Ezekiel was the first to reach her, and she hugged him tightly. She could see a look of pride on Carol's face, and she winked at her before releasing him. Negan did nothing more than touch her on the shoulder before going over and shaking Clinton's hand, followed by Trevor.

   Gina stepped forward so that she was front and center, something she absolutely hated, but she wanted to finish the meeting so that they could all convene in her office, because she had no inkling of how Rick and Negan were going to react.

   "Ezekiel, as long as he's game for it, is going to be the new resident liaison. Anyone that's spent any time with him has already realized how smart and pragmatic he is, and I have the utmost confidence that he'll be invaluable in this and other aspects. So, going forward, any issues or disputes that you have, any questions or concerns, even any ideas, please feel free to seek him out. Of course, all of the rest of us are available day or night should you need anything," she said, feeling both happy and nervous.

   Ezekiel placed his hand over his heart, bowing slightly. At least he seemed pleased, and Trevor joined her, flanking Clinton.

   "Negan will take Devin's place as head of security, along with a few other duties. He's been an important part of the safety of Reedville since he arrived, so it's more of a formality, adding him to our team."

   Gina stole a glance at him, and he'd turned on his public face, giving the audience a confident smile. Underneath, though, Gina could see that something was brewing, and for the first time in a long while, she didn't want to be alone with him. He was going to be furious with her for springing this on him without telling him first, but fuck it. He'd done the same goddamned thing to her.

   The rest of the meeting was spent updating the group on their future plans, including the addition of more fishermen and the expansion of the walls. 

   Only a few people had questions, and when the meeting ended, Negan went back down into the crowd, shaking hands and talking to a variety of residents. Ezekiel did the same after hugging and kissing Carol and accepting congratulations from Jesus and Aaron. 

   The only one who didn't move was Rick, and Gina approached him cautiously, tapping him on the shoulder to get his attention. When he turned to look at her, she almost flinched. He was on the verge of a meltdown, and he crooked his finger at her to follow him, striding towards the exit. 

   As soon as he got to the office, he whirled around to face her, and Gina shut the door so that no one could hear them.

   "You made the decision to bring them on without discussing it with me?" he hissed, running his hand through his hair. His face was blotchy and her mouth dropped open. 

   "Rick, you've segregated yourself from everyone," Gina said defensively. "You won't come to meetings and you don't want to take part in our discussions. We didn't want to leave you out. But you've taken on this tunnel vision about Ivy, and we need to move on, to get this place back on track."

   "She's out there somewhere," he snapped, slamming his fist on the desk as Negan came stomping in. 

   Fucking great. Now she was going to have to deal with two bitchy men.

   "There's always someone out there," she tried again. "But one person is no threat to us when we know she's out there. What _is_ a threat is letting this place go to shit. We're in a honeymoon period here, and we need to take advantage of it. None of us is stupid enough to think that another problem isn't just waiting around the bend."

   Negan's arms were crossed, and he turned his back on her, facing Rick instead. It was like she wasn't even there.

   "You and I, man. Once we get things moving here, you and I are going to hunt the bitch down and take care of her. You have my word."

   Rick cocked his head to the side, and Gina wanted to scream in frustration. None of this was going like she planned, and now, asshole Negan was offering to take him out? After everything they talked about? 

   The plan had been to get Rick into get some type of therapy, not send him out there in kill mode to hunt for a needle in a haystack. They may have just created a two-headed monster, and she threw up her hands, leaving the office in a huff. 

   Fuck them both.


	118. Chapter 118

   Gina left a short note for Negan that the kids were spending the night at Ronnie's, leaving it on the dining room table for him to find. The sitter asked for a sleepover with her babies, wanting to teach Casey how to make cookies from scratch. She hadn't wanted to leave Michael, too, but Ronnie and her girlfriend Rita insisted, telling her that she needed a night to relax. 

   Truthfully, Gina hadn't even realized that Ronnie was dating the red-headed woman who normally worked in the greenhouses, but they were cute together. Where Ronnie was gentle and softspoken, Rita was brash and forward. It worked, and after picking up the kids for dinner and a quick bath, she brought them back over with a bag full of supplies, telling the older women that she'd pick them up first thing in the morning.

   "Really, Gina," Ronnie clucked in a motherly sort of way. "This is what I love. I always wanted kids of my own, and this fulfills me. Take your time."

   Grinning, Gina headed back towards her house, but she only got to Carol's before the silver-haired warrior stepped out onto her porch, waving her over. 

   "Hey," she greeted Gina warmly, pulling her in for a hug. "Thank you for thinking of Ezekiel for the council. He's so honored, and I think it's giving him a purpose."

   "He more than earned it. He's a natural leader, and I'm thrilled that he's willing to step in and take charge."

   "Well, I'm not sure what your plans were for tonight, but I was thinking that I need a girls night. Maybe some drinks and music?" Carol asked, giving her a sparkling smile.

   Gina almost declined, but after dealing with Negan and Rick after the meeting, she decided that she needed this. When she'd left the office, she expected Negan to come home and talk to her about his mind-numbingly stupid decision to encourage Rick to go after Ivy, but the two dipshits disappeared to the other peninsula, and she hadn't seen them since. 

   "You know what? That sounds amazing. I'm totally in," she said. "I'll grab some alcohol from the warehouse. Do you want to let Talia know? She could use a break, too."

   "Leave it to me. I'll round her up and get some food cooking. Bring some music and be back here to relax in an hour."

   She headed home, showering and changing into a funky gypsy skirt and a bright green shirt. When she got to the warehouse, Trevor was browsing the aisles, looking for something with a frown on his face.

   "Looking for something?" she asked, patting his arm, and he let out a deep breath in frustration.

   "I thought we had some canned potatoes. I wanted to make a fish stew, but I can't seem to find them."

   "Oh, they're two aisles over," she said, showing him the way. While they walked, they chatted about the meeting, and Trevor seemed happy with the way things went. Gina agreed, hoping that he wasn't going to bring up Rick and his standoffish demeanor. Thankfully, he didn't, and she waved goodbye before going to the alcohol section, filling a bag with tequila, margarita mix, and a few other spirits. 

   It was nearly dark by the time she got to Carol's and she could hear voices carrying through the open window. When she knocked on the door, Carol shouted to come in. Talia was already there, and so was Aaron, to her surprise.

   "I hope you don't mind that I crashed your party," he smiled, taking the bag from her and setting it on the table. "I was going crazy at home, and I needed a break from Jesus."

   "Is everything okay?"

   "No, it's fine," he assured her, unpacking the bottles. "He's just hovering over me, waiting for me to...I don't know. Have a breakdown, I guess. But I'm sick of thinking about everything that happened. I just want to forget about it, and Paul loves to talk and analyze everything."

   "I get it, and I don't blame you in the least. You know what helps?" she grinned. "Alcohol and lots of it."

   "I'll start the blender," he laughed, taking the supplies into the kitchen.

   Carol and Ezekiel seemed to be settling in well in their new house, and Gina looked around at the living room, loving the little touches that she'd added. Some new pillows for the couch, and curtains that complimented the rug that covered the floor. 

   Talia was in the kitchen, sitting at the little table, and she waved her over to join them as Carol bustled around, putting hors d'oeuvres onto a platter for them to nibble on. It was nice to just pretend to be people that didn't have any real problems, and Gina took a few crackers, adding some soft cheese to them as Talia told them a story about Evelyn peeing all over Daryl.

   "He was bent down, reaching for a diaper, and it just came out like water from a fire hose," she howled, slapping her thigh. "Went right into his mouth."

   "Oh, gross," Aaron looked scandalized, and Gina snorted. 

   "Mikey did it to Negan when he was just a few days old. You would've thought that he got hit with acid."

   The blender fired up, and Aaron poured them each a big glass of the frozen concoction, insisting that they toast to better days ahead. They moved the party into the living room, and Talia thumbed through the music that Gina brought, popping in a dance mix. A blaring beat pulsed out of the speakers, and she sat back on the couch, feeling relaxed and happy. 

   Talk turned to the people in town, and they gossiped about who was sleeping with who. Carol had already figured out that Bethany was interested in Rick, and even though Michonne was a good friend to her, she hoped that Rick would be able to move on at some point and put himself out there again. 

   "He needs some happiness in his life," she mused, taking a long drink. "Maybe if he got laid, he'd be able to think straight again."

   It was completely unexpected to hear it coming out of Carol's mouth, and Gina thought that under any other circumstance, she'd never even breathe a thought like that. 

   Aaron piped up, changing the trajectory of the conversation thankfully, and he got a sly smile on his face as he looked at the three of them.

   "Where's the wildest place you've ever had sex?"

   Talia piped up immediately, and Gina almost choked on her drink when she spoke. "The green on the seventh hole of our dad's country club."

   "What?" she spluttered, coughing as Aaron slapped her back.

   "Doug and I snuck in one night for a game of strip golf," she chortled. "By the time we got to the seventh hole, I was nude and...let's just say that we had to bribe the night guard to not tell dad."

   "Whore," Gina laughed as Aaron crawled onto the ground. The rest of them joined him, sitting in a loose circle. 

   "Shit, mine's boring compared to that," he said, bringing his knees up to his chest. "Eric and I spent the night in a mattress store when we went out on a run, and we pushed all of the beds together to make one massive bed, and we rolled all over that goddamned thing."

   "Gina," Talia purred. "Where was yours?"

   "Uh," she hemmed, feeling dirty all of a sudden. 

   "Ooh, was it with Negan?" Aaron's eyebrows rose and she shook her head.

   "No, it was in the balcony of the Old Town Theater," she said quickly, sucking down a huge gulp of her margarita. "My high school boyfriend worked there, and they were showing Basic Instinct for a limited run. We got a little freaky up there since we were the only ones that were up in those seats, and everyone below us was none the wiser."

   Talia fished out a piece of ice from her glass and tossed it at her with pretty good precision, getting down the front of her shirt. 

   "Here, it looks like you need to cool down."

   Gina fished it out, shoving it down the back of Aaron's pants, and as they screwed around, she came to the slow realization that Carol hadn't confessed, so she rounded on the older woman with a glint in her eye.

   "Fess up, Carol. Where's the craziest place you've done the nasty."

   The woman was fearless, and she was able to adapt to any situation. But when her neck started to get blotchy, Gina believed that it was genuine and she dropped her gaze with a hint of a smile, stirring her drink with the straw rapidly.

   "Ezekiel and I did it once on his throne at the Kindom."

   All of them let out a whooping sound, and Carol's face turned crimson as they teased her, declaring her the winner of the first round. 

   "Okay," Talia said after she refreshed their drinks. "Of all the men here in town, which one would you hook up with if you weren't in a relationship?"

   None of them wanted to go first, so she rolled her eyes and offered her answer. 

   "Mine would be Jesse, that guy that usually works the point."

   Jesse was young, maybe in his early twenties, and he was adorable, with tousled brown hair and a sexy smile.

   "Damn, sis," Gina teased her, "you're a cradle robber. He's barely more than a child."

   "Shut up," she muttered, kicking Gina's leg. "Aaron? There are some hotties that work on the boats."

   "Actually," he cleared his throat, "I think that guy Chase is kinda cute, the one that usually works on Trevor's boat. I love Jesus and he's the only man for me, but..."

   Talia waved her hands dismissively. "Yeah, yeah. This is only hypothetical. We're all in happy, fulfilling relationships. And Chase is built like a brick shithouse. Good call. Carol?"

   "I'd have to say Dr. Thomas," she said. "He's very attractive for a man of a certain age, and he's got very kind eyes."

   "Not to mention the free checkups," Talia laughed, turning her gaze on Gina. "Well?"

   She knew she was going to pay for this answer, but it was the truth.

   "Clinton."

   "Clinton?" Carol shrieked, louder than Gina thought possible. "Really?"

   "What?" she sniped, knowing her own cheeks were starting to heat up. "He's not ugly, though not my normal type. But he's smart and funny, and the man can dance. None of you have seen him at the holiday parties. If he can move that well on the dance floor..."

   The thought sent everyone including Gina into peals of laughter, and when it died down, Talia looked at her with a borderline evil grin. It reminded Gina of the looks that Daryl usually gave her, and she knew something bad was on the horizon. 

   "Huh," Talia said, rubbing her lips together. "I would've thought that you would say Rick."

   Her heart stopped beating as Aaron and Carol looked at her curiously, and she wanted to beat the shit out of her sister. _She knew_.

   "Why would you say that?"

   "Because," Talia fought to keep from laughing, "you had a sex dream about him."

   " _Who told you that_?" she lunged at her Talia, who rolled out of the way. Aaron and Carol were bug-eyed, afraid to react, and Talia got to her feet, running around to the other side of the couch. Gina stalked after her, mortified that anyone knew.

   "Negan told Daryl," she taunted Gina, dashing around the other side. "You dream fucked Rick."

   "No I _didn't_ ," she screeched, feeling like they were teenagers again. "I was drugged up! Oh, I'm going to kill that motherfucker."

   "Calm down," Talia told her, hiding behind Carol who was trying hard not to break down into hysterics. "I had one about him, too."

   That brought Gina up short, and she panted as Talia plopped down beside Aaron, resting her head on his lap. 

   "What?" 

   She was completely thrown off by that bit of info, and she crept back towards the group, sitting next to Carol, who put her arm around her shoulder in solidarity.

   "Yep," Talia snickered, lifting her head to take a drink. "Like two months ago. Apparently, I moaned his name in my sleep. I had to work my ass off to make it up to Daryl."

   "I had one about him, too."

   Gina and Talia both looked up sharply at Aaron, who buried his head in his hands. "It was the best sex dream I've ever had."

   Before they could wrap their heads around that mind bomb, Carol spoke.

   "Oh my God. Me, too. When we lived in Georgia."

   There was a beat of silence, and the four of them dissolved into screams and laughs, ending up in a heap together. 

   "Ahaha," Talia rolled onto her stomach. "Rick's Freddy Krugering us in our dreams. He's a fucking sex dream manipulator, trying to take us all out."

   It took several minutes before any of them were able to speak, and Gina wiped her eyes before giving Carol an impish grin. Paybacks were a bitch.

   "Negan had one about you."

   Carol started slightly as she tried to hide a smile, but before she could respond, Aaron held up his glass in apparent victory.

   "I can top anything that we've shared tonight," he crowed, taking a long look around at them. "Paul had a very disgusting sex dream about Eugene."

   Gina was dead. There was nothing left on the Earth for her anymore as the unwilling images invaded her mind, and Talia let out another scream. 

   Tears filled her eyes, and she struggled to catch her breath, her stomach aching as Aaron regaled them with the details of Eugene's nocturnal seduction, and she finally had to step outside to have a cigarette to clear her head. 

   Carol joined her, and they sat together in silence for the first few minutes until they made eye contact. After that, it was all over, and the sounds of their laughter carried throughout the night air. She had a feeling that this time together would bond them all, a sharing of secrets and experiences, just spending time where they weren't fighting for their lives.

   When they went back inside, Aaron and Talia were grinding on each other to a slow jam, laughing drunkenly. Gina knew if she drank any more, she'd be paying for it the next day, so she switched to water, and when the party died down, she kissed Aaron and Carol good night, making them promise to make this a regular thing. The also swore an unbreakable oath to never tell anyone about their conversations.

   She walked Talia towards their respective houses, and when she was sure her sister was safely inside, she headed towards her own, not surprised to find only the kitchen light on when she got in. There was a purpose to her movements when she went up the steps, and as she got to her room, she opened the door to see that Negan was laying on his side, wide awake, squinting from the hall light. 

   Tipsy, but not drunk, she slipped out of her shoes as they stared each other down, and Gina unbuttoned her blouse slowly, her fingers easing the material open. Negan continued to watch her, but she could see that his respirations started to increase.

  "Did you have fun with your girlfriends?" His tone was short and he turned on the lamp without breaking eye contact. "We could hear you laughing like hyenas from the street."

   "Aww, were you taking a moonlight walk with your new boyfriend Rick?" she clapped back, sliding the shirt down her shoulders and letting it drift to the floor. "Did you hold hands?"

   He whipped covers off of his legs, and Gina laughed to herself as she strode over to her dresser, shucking her skirt while she moved. Negan was reacting exactly like she thought he would because she knew him so well. What she hadn't considered was that he knew her the same, and he stood directly behind her, folding his arms around her body, trapping her in front of the mirror, staring her down with blazing eyes.

   She was angry and looking for a fight, but mixed in with that was a sexual energy that always permeated her psyche when it came to him. They were in a different place than the Sanctuary, physically and emotionally, but he was back in an official position of power, and she was afraid that the subtle change in roles was going to impact their relationship. A need to dominate him was bubbling up inside, and he knew it.  
  
   It wasn't about her love for him. No, it was a base need to assure herself that she wasn't losing him to Rick again. Their lives would always be intertwined, and he and Negan were forever rotating around each other, two magnets that were drawn together, occasionally repelling each other. She had to be the number one in his life. 

   Slowly, he grinded himself against her ass, keeping his eyes locked on hers, his jaw set, and she smirked at him, leaning her head against his shoulder. They made love, and they fucked, but she wanted more. Porno level sex, just raw pounding, and Gina folded her hands over his, pushing back against him. 

   He broke contact first to spin her around and her attention went to his arm, still healing from Cleo's gunshots. It looked better, but the last thing they needed was for it to rip open again. Negan could care less, and he draped her arms around his neck, hoisting Gina up so that she could wrap her legs around his waist, and he carried her towards the bed, falling on top of her. 

   "Fucking bitch," he muttered under his breath before nipping at the underside of her chin. But she didn't want foreplay. She wanted him beneath her, begging her for release, and she used her strength and training to flip him onto his back, though to be fair, he let her. 

   "And you're an asshole," she shot back, divesting him of his clothing. Rick might be able to steal him away from her during the day, but he was all hers at night. She made him hard, so painfully hard that he was already panting before she even touched him. She got the fiery black eyes that pulled her in like a tractor beam, trapping her in his orbit. 

   With a lazy flick of her wrist, she stroked him, using her thumb to coat him with his own arousal, removing her panties as he splayed his arms out to the sides, fighting to keep his eyes from rolling back in his head. When she hovered over him, teasing the head along her opening, he snapped out of his inertia, digging his fingers into her waist and forcing her down all the way to the base.

   As large as Negan was, he slid in easily due to how turned on she was, the relief of being filled almost orgasmic in itself, and she unhooked her bra, leaving her as bare as he was, creating a cyclic torrent on his pelvis. A drug, an addiction that she would never find a cure for, no matter how angry she got, how many times they'd piss each other off. When she was eighty, frail and wrinkled, ravaged by time, she'd still crave him, still want him inside her, and she took him by the back of the neck, bringing him to a sitting position as she did all of the work.

   "You're mine," she chanted, throwing her head back as he kissed her, licked every bit of skin that he could reach. "You're mine, Negan. You belong to me."

   She could feel herself losing control, the buildup thundering towards her, and she let him roll her onto her back, pulling on his hair as he steadied himself on his hands, slamming into her so hard that her head ended up bumping into the headboard. 

   Calling out his name, she shuddered underneath him, clenching around him in a series of spasms, and it felt so good, so right, so...inevitable. He'd always be able to make her come undone. No matter what power plays they engaged in, they both came out winners, and he grunted into her mouth, spilling inside her, his tongue swirling around hers. 

   "I fucking love when you're pissed at me," he said, pumping a few more times before collapsing on top of her. "Makes the sex even hotter."

   "Well, get used to it," she told him, pushing him off so that she could catch her breath. "I have a feeling it's going to be happening a lot more often." She rolled to her side, facing away from him. 

   "And Carol now knows you had a sex dream about her, you dickhead."


	119. Chapter 119

 

   "How did it go?"

   Gina sat down on Bethany's couch, looking expectantly at the younger woman. Rick had finally agreed to talk to her, with the condition that after a few sessions, he and Negan could take an overnight trip to look around the prison to see if there was any sign of Ivy. He'd had his first one, and Gina was anxious to know if he'd opened up to her at all, though she didn't want to know any details. That was his own personal business.

   "Pretty well for the first time," Bethany offered, perching next to her with a shy smile. "He's very reticent to go into his personal background, but we made some headway. Rick is a very complicated individual."

   "I'm glad to hear it." And she was relieved. Gina understood that Rick was grappling with an enormous amount of loss in his life, and he saw the capture of Ivy as a goal, a necessity to moving on and burying Michonne completely. As long as someone from Cleo's group was still alive, he'd never rest. 

   But killing Ivy wasn't going to bring Michonne back, and hopefully, Bethany could help him grieve her properly. Now was the time to do so, since there was no major conflict on the horizon. At least, Gina prayed there wasn't. Every time she thought that they were settled, something else always loomed large over them.

   She chatted with Negan's friend for a while longer, and Bethany told her that the other residents were beginning to come to her as well, so she wanted to know if she could set up a proper office. She wanted to be able to start files on anyone she spoke with and to keep track of any potential issues. 

   "I'm going to Arcadia today, and while I'm out, I'll hunt around for some office supplies. There's bound to be a store or two that has everything that you need," Gina said, feeling a pang of guilt about how she treated this girl. But the other woman didn't seem to hold a grudge, so she chalked it up to a learning experience for herself to not judge people so quickly. 

   Bethany wrote down a few things that she'd like to have, and Gina tucked it into her pocket before leaving. Taking a few moments to just look around, she saw Devin step out of his house, locking the door. It was odd, since no one usually did so. They'd never had a problem with thievery in their town, so for him to secure his and Tina's house immediately made her suspicious. 

   She had no time to ask him what was going on, because Negan was headed straight for her, looking put out. 

   "Are you ready? I've been waiting by the truck for ten minutes."

   Gina hefted her bag over her shoulder, following him back up the street towards the entrance. This was her first trip to pick up supplies with him, and it wasn't starting well. They'd been cool to each other for the past few days, and she was growing tired of that, too. Ever since she came home from her girls night, they'd been tiptoeing around each other, and she was dreading the ride to Arcadia for that reason, and much more.

   She'd given Johnson a heads up that someone new would be coming along so that he could let the Hilltop people know. There was no need to spring that on Maggie, but now that Negan was on the council, he had to be immersed in every aspect of her job and everyone else's in case something happened. The good thing was that he was taking it seriously, and he had no intention of stepping on anyone's toes. 

   Deep, deep down, in the darkest part of her mind, she'd worried that Negan would be drawn back into the past, the mistakes he'd made with his all-consuming need to lord over everyone, but so far, he'd been nothing but respectful of the other council members. He'd gone out with Clinton, and over the next few days, he'd be taking a fishing trip with Trevor as well. 

   Carl was looking forward to it, as they'd always had a weird bond, even when they were on opposing sides. And of course, he and Rick spent a lot of time together, to the point that Gina thought that Daryl was harboring a bit of jealousy. Negan and Rick were inclusive of him, and he joined them when they worked on the expansion, but more often than not, he'd end up the third wheel, and Talia asked her to give him some more responsibility.

   So in addition to everything else, she had to create a job for Daryl, and she was slightly irritated because she'd already offered him a job: a spot on the council.

   With a sigh that she hid from Negan, she got into the passenger's seat, buckling her belt as he loaded up some weapons for their trip. He was Mr. Personality as they drove out of the gate, smiling and joking with the guys on the wall, but as soon as they were out of sight, he clammed up, staring straight ahead without speaking.

   She let it slide for about a half an hour but finally spoke up as they got onto the highway. Absently, she ran her thumb over her ring finger, expecting it to be there, even though she hadn't found it yet. Another source of frustration. Gina had searched their house from top to bottom, and no dice. It had either disappeared into a wormhole, or she'd dropped it somewhere outside.

   "We need to stop at an office store on the way back," she mentioned, rolling down the window. "Bethany's going to set up a proper room for her sessions."

   Negan grunted in her general direction, and she took a deep breath so that she didn't snap at him. He was being pissy with her, and she didn't do anything wrong in her opinion. 

   "Negan, are we going to talk this out or not?"

   "I have no idea what the fuck you're referring to."

   "Oh, for Christ's sake," she muttered, turning to the side. "You've been shitty with me since you were put on the council. I wasn't the one that nominated you. Clinton and Trevor did."

   "But you knew about it, and you didn't warn me. You let me get blindsided in front of the whole fucking town."

   "You didn't have to take it, you know," she reasoned, staring him down. "But ever since we made the announcement, you've been cool with everyone but me. So, why?"

   "Because you put me in a position that I didn't want to be in," he exploded, all of his fury directed her way. "You knew how I felt about being in charge again, and you've fucking set me up-"

   "Not just a goddamned minute," she interrupted, getting heated all over. "I didn't 'set you up' at all. The fucking town wanted you on the council. Clinton brought up your name, not me. And I would _never_ set you up to fail. So fuck you for even thinking something like that."

   His mouth snapped shut, and Gina turned to face forward, hurt blooming through her chest. A part of her wanted to burst into tears at the fact that he thought so little of her intentions, and she folded her arms across her chest, trying to stem the pain in her heart. Of all of the cutting things he'd said to her over the years, she never thought she'd hear something like that, and they lapsed back into silence until they were almost to the entrance of Arcadia.

   She could feel his finger run along the outside of her arm as she stared out the window, and Gina shifted away from him. Negan let out a deep exhale, and she stiffened in her seat.

   "Babe, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it."

   "Yes, you did," she said quietly. "But what hurts the most is that you think so little of me."

   "I don't. You know I don't."

   Turning her head, she reached out and took his hand, placing it on her lap. 

   "I know you don't," she sighed, squeezing his hand, "but you think so little of yourself. How can you have such faith in me, but not expect me to have the same in you? After everything we've been through?"

   Negan shook his head, his lips twitching as he concentrated on the road, and he finally let his shoulders drop.

   "Because I'm a fuckup, remember? I started a war, and I killed people in the misguided notion that it would keep others from dying. I'm not a leader."

   "Can you pull over for a second, please?"

   He glanced at her out of the corner of his eye, but he complied, bringing the truck to a complete stop. Gina inched her way towards him, placing her hands on either side of his face, wanting him to look at her, to really hear her. 

   "You are _no_ t a fuckup, Negan." His eyes shifted away from her, but she forced his head back towards her. "If you need me to tell you constantly, I will. You made mistakes. You did things the wrong way, but you know now that it doesn't have to be like that. You know the kind of world you want your kids to grow up in. You've already made the world a better place by being in it."

   He searched her eyes, looking for any doubt there, but he wasn't going to find any. After everything, every trauma, every attempt on their lives, she wasn't going to falter. Not with him, and he had to see that. He had to believe it.

   "And you don't need to prove it to me. But if you have to prove it to yourself, that's fine. I'll be there every step of the way to cheer you on."

   "I love you, darlin'. The only thing I care about is you and the kids."

   "I know that, you idiot. That's why you're on the council now. Your love for them, and me, is what's steering you in the right direction, but I'm not going to say that I agree with you taking Rick out to look for Ivy."

   Just like that, the moment was over, and he put the truck into drive as she sat back. 

   "Well, that's a non-negotiable," he said without any wavering whatsoever. "As long as that cunt is out there, she's a reminder of what Rick went through, and he needs to be able to move on. Plus, I don't want her to ever try to hurt you again, and you know she's going to be gunning for you for the rest of your life."

   Gina gave up for the moment. Rick still had to meet with Bethany, and that was going to buy her some time to try to talk them both down, but she had to grudgingly give them credit. The two of them were always singularly driven when they had a goal in mind, and they wouldn't stop for anything. She just wished they learned to focus on more than vengeance.

   The barbed wire fences of Arcadia appeared on her right, and she told Negan to slow down, pointing out the turn into their community. He approached the checkpoint with caution, stopping when Terry held up his hand. Negan rolled down his window, and the guard gave him an appraising look before turning his attention to Gina, smiling.

   "Another new recruit, huh?" he joked, ignoring Negan thoroughly.

   "This is Negan," she introduced, "and he's recently been appointed to our council. We're showing him around, letting him get the lay of the land."

   Terry waved for the gates to open, and Negan shot him one of his withering glares before pulling through.

   "That fucker sounds like Pee-Wee Herman," he grumbled, glancing back in the rear-view mirror. "And why didn't you tell him who I was?"

   Gina grinned at his ego issues, choosing not to answer. What difference did it make? He was on the council, and Terry would get to know him soon enough. A more pressing concern was whether or not Maggie was here. She hadn't laid eyes on Negan since his release from the cell in Alexandria, and she didn't want there to be a conflict of any kind.

   Negan took in the sheer size of Arcadia as they drove along, his bottom lip jutting out as they passed by the cattle that were grazing in the field.

   When they got to the main house, he pulled to a stop, his mouth dropping as Johnson approached the truck.

   "The fuck?" he muttered, opening the door. 

   Gina made it over to the big man before he did, and he shook her hand, eyeballing her chest like he usually did. It didn't even phase her anymore, but Negan was hovering behind her, and she stepped back, gesturing to him.

   "Johnson, I'd like you to meet Negan," she said as Johnson turned his large form towards him. "Negan is the one I told you about that joined the council, and I thought you'd be interested in getting to know him."

   "Now, you're not thinking of scaling back are ya, sweetling?" he chuckled, extending his hand towards Negan. "I gotta say, seeing ya is one of the highlights of my week."

   "No. But I want to make sure that you know who he is in case I can't ever make it."

   "Nice to meet you," Negan told him as his hand was dwarfed by Johnson's, and Gina knew he was trying not to wince as the farmer gripped it with extra firmness. 

   The peculiar male ritual of sizing each other up never failed to amuse her, and she waited for them to finish their little display of strength. When neither one would give an inch, she finally intervened, clearing her throat.

   "We brought the usual haul," she said, pulling out her ledger, breaking their stalemate. "It's all ready to be unloaded."

   Johnson let out an ear-piercing whistle, and his men appeared out of nowhere, descending on the trailer to remove the coolers before carrying them off towards the barn. Gina looked around, but she didn't see any of the Hilltoppers or Kingdom people, and she figured they were laying low, not that she blamed them. But Tara hadn't appeared totally adverse to Negan when she'd stayed with them briefly after the attack.  
  
   "So, sweetling, when am I gonna meet that fella of yours?" Johnson asked, tucking his thumbs into his overalls. 

   "You just did," she smirked, jerking her head towards her honey, who was looking at Johnson with one eyebrow raised. 

   The man let out a booming laugh, making her jump, and he shook his head. 

   "You're the lucky guy, huh? I gotta say, you have quite a lady on your hands. She's pulled the wool over my eyes when we first met, and I like her fire."

   "I do, too," Negan said, thawing a little. "And you're not the first guy to underestimate her, trust me."

    _Fucking weirdos_ , she thought, leaving them standing together so that she could catalog the exchange. By the time she had everything recorded, they were laughing like old friends, and she stood there awkwardly as they ignored her. 

   When they got back on the road, Negan snorted, making her look over, irritated. 

   "You two seemed chummy," she observed, and he gave her a mocking look.

   "All part of my charm. I know how to schmooze," he reminded her. "The man is an egocentric tool, and he subsists solely on flattery."

   "Takes one to know one," she teased, yelping when he tickled her side. 

   "He's got the major hots for you," Negan said, settling back in his seat and stretching his left leg. "Should I be worried?"

   "Maybe. His overalls are very sexy."

   The mood was much better as they made their way back towards Reedville, and by the time they got back with the food and the office supplies, they were holding hands, talking animatedly about the next run. 

   Chuck and Devin were waiting to help them unload the supplies, and with a quick kiss, Gina left them to their own devices, returning her books to her office and tidying up there for a while. 

   What had started off as an iffy trip with one very mercurial man ended up quite enjoyable, and she smiled to herself as she stopped at the docks, watching the ship that was coming back into port. 

   She was ready to collect her babies, but as she passed by Tina's house, she veered off to knock on her door. There was no answer, and she peered through the windows, looking for any sign that her former friend was inside. Gina didn't see anyone physically, but she could hear someone shuffling around, and she stepped down off of the porch, going around the side of the house. 

   Telling herself that she had every right to talk to Tina, she went to the back of the little house, raising up onto her tiptoes to look into the bedroom window, which was only covered by a gauzy curtain. 

   What she saw inside the room made her skitter backwards, causing her to lose her balance and land on her ass, stunned. When she recovered, she launched herself to her feet towards the gates, screaming for Negan.


End file.
